#my life doesn't do shock value plot twists it's all about the foreshadowing. to the point of um.

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

I'm not narcissistic* I just unrelatedly have a complicated relationship with self esteem a need for external validation a constant hunger for attention trouble connecting with humans and struggles with delusions of grandeur due to trauma some of which can impair my ability to function not everything is the last disorder I learned about and tried to understand with my big broken empathy that often overshoots and does things like make me feel drunk if I think about a drunk person for top long without ever having been drunk

*this post is pro NPD I'm just anti incorrectly self diagnosing myself because if I wasn't I'd be hoarding all the disorders

[professor-abeloved]

It Loves Within (a review of goodbyes, gratitude, and gay screaming)

i read somewhere that an aspect of the horror genre is pain. and if you're a fan of the it lives anthology, pain is inevitable.

the pain of choosing who has to take jane's place, a game that (doesn't) end(s) in sacrifice, betrayal, and anguish. the pain of losing one's parents, finding family anew (in both blood and found) - only to potentially lose it all.

the pain of an impossible choice: do you end this, once and for all, to save everyone - only to never see them again when you finally return home? do you remain in this world, with gaping wounds patched by temporary bandages, for the life you've never thought you had the chance to live? or do you try try try to bridge it all together, pushing for a world full of potential, a reality still out of reach, but still worth fighting for all the same?

every ending of It Lives Within is tragic in its own way, a bittersweet balm to the trauma-filled fuckaganza of a journey of these characters we know and love.

i'm never going to stop saying thank you to everyone at the @itlivesproject team for making the choice to create and collaborate on this masterpiece. the pain of pixelberry cancelling sequels (er, trilogies) broke my heart, but this fan game is more than a dream come true.

(the rest of this is kind of a rambling review under the cut)

looking back, i'm actually glad that they cancelled it - because i wouldn't trade every second i played ILW for anything. (and my girlfriend knows i've spent numerous all-nighters just playing and/or talking about ILW <3. i tell my therapist it started with abel's first diamond scene--and okay getting side-tracked).

first off, i want to mention all the variants. the It Lives series were unique and notorious for having different branches and endings that carried through to the next book, something which isn't very common in mobile visual novels. since ILW had not one, but two books to reference... hoo boy. coding, writing, making art + sprites for, testing, editing, and hell even just thinking of the different variables and how they impact a third book is such a herculean feat and i applaud everyone on the team for all the blood, sweat, and tears poured into this endeavor.

the gameplay itself was super fun!! i think it hit the right balance of action with timed choices and puzzles (i now want my own crown paperweight), implementing that Nerve Score system that the It Lives series is known for. not only did one have to keep in mind their Nerve, but also their choices between Blood and Shadow that would seal the fate of everyone in this Pixelberry Cinematic Universe (hello, horror Julian HSSgame). it was fun as fuck, i really liked and appreciate the decision of 3 different main endings <3

because the plot was a downright banger. every twist and turn had me on the edge of my seat and frantically screenshotting everything (somehow i've gotten to 20k screenshots, but at least 98% is ILW. the other 2% are random crap and also Choices, lol). it was cool to theorize and guess correctly on some things and still be utterly shocked at the brilliant execution. i can't list every single thing that made me gasp, but the crumbs of foreshadowing are incredible. not just saying this as a tester, but the replay value is nuts. (also the different personalites of sarcastic, genuine, and aggressive are so good).

having character relationships as a core stat was also an organic, lovely choice. i adore how everyone started off at various points (joss at 0 and amalia at 75 iirc?) and could develop differently and sometimes independently of nerve (abel being easy to befriend but having tough nerve to raise because he's going through Some Shit, while jocelyn was more closed off yet had easier nerve to raise). it really colors the ways the main 4 interact with rowan, and i love how even the romance variants played a part in it. from jealousy-laden glances to the famed Union Walk Out, this game was a breath of fresh air to the usual 'i accidentally have 1 flirt point with this LI and somehow they're in love with me' vibe of current mobile VNs. (mattyass is an outlier and doesn't count <3)

speaking of characters!! holy shit they slayed and served, giving closure to our favs from the first book and then some (being pro connor green wasn't in my 2023 bingo card, but it happened! i like that funky lil dude), giving the cast of the second book vital yet natural roles, while letting the new cast shine in their own right.

the It Lives cast is vastly beloved for a reason, and the ILP Team not only nailed every single one of the canon characters, but they breathed new life into them (literally in the case of RF!noah/devon). i'm beyond words to express how amazing it was to not only have my blorbos back, but to be able to see a beautiful devonoah romance and flirt with dan pierce after years of pining and get married to andy kang?!?! the gift just keeps on giving. (i'm just biased in mentioning them because devon, noah, andy, and dan are my ILITW biasline but i'm so happy to have seen stacy, lucas, ava, lily again <3333)

i also adore the ILB crew to bits!! i had the impression they were barely gonna be featured (and valid), but the way the showed up!! the way harper was important and could kick ass while injured??? slay.

and the way everyone interacted in ch19 was some avengers assemble beautiful dream. i don't think i'll ever be that happy again in my life, fr <33

and onto the stars of the show...

it's been an honor to spend time with each and every one of the main crew. jocelyn was someone i was hyped to see, ever since her cameo in the ILB end credits scene. redemption arcs are tricky and while i admittedly felt the initial trepidation... the execution of her development blew me away. it is fantastic and realistic (getting to encourage her to be better or to leave her alone was also a cool mechanic. i love how it's in firm yet empathic encouragement that she works to better herself.). she grew into such a fierce, gruff protector with a heart of gold and fists of fury. i love her so much. her nightmare sequence facing her shadow past self is one of my favorite's. arcs of self-forgiveness vs self-flagellation hit hard, and it moves me to tears to see how far joss has come <33 her route having either a slow burn vibe or a fwb tinge was also an excellent choice !! i enjoyed fwb route (she's so sweet and considerate, putting a blanket over us with a frown lmao) and i can't want to replay for sb + to write fics with her <3

now onto lincoln, my fav mlm cowboy son. i was initially jealous because i thought my girlfriend would be into him + i thought abel and he were exes, but i came around in ch13, iirc. i connect with his arc of wanting to prove your worth to your parents very painfully, and it means a lot to see him know that others' approval will never define him. i'm also happy to see him process his pain and give others a chance - give himself a chance to apologize and let abel in again. he's also fun to torture write for in fics, and somehow he's soulmates with my most complex ILW MC, wan, despite me son-zoning him real bad, so that's just amazing characterization. excited to write more <3

amalia my beloved <33 the brains, brawn, beauty of rowan's rogue monster hunting operations. i love her and her route so much. childhood best friends to lovers always slaps (i mean, cmon thats most of the ILITW ships), and the way it was executed for amalia is chef's kiss. the angst of your best friend not being the person you thought they were was an excellent spin on the trope. but the love she has for you and the love you have for her is something all on your own?? perfection <33 also her dreams of wanting to make a difference, especially what happened with her family is a very relevant experience today, are so inspiring <3 i'm so excited to replay her route with a different mc and also to write her as well <3

AIJDBFHDFJDOK abel aifhsohifOSDHDSIGH okay that's it.

JK abel, my love, my light, my stars. professor dorklord. the reason i've changed my url after these long years. i love him and his sexy sweater vest of sin so much. my favorite scene of all time is when pretending to have a lover's spat with abel in amalia's university AISHFIOG. he's funny, sweet, and charming. i'd listen to his nerdy rambles all night long - and yes, partially an innuendo, and partially that i like nerds who ramble about things. i love how he can be too rational (yet always with a heart <3) yet also so selfless, and i love how he can choose himself and his happiness at the end instead of living with ghosts <3 i love you abel, baby, i'm coming back for youuu in every route, in every wip <3

to ro, my trans-coded, queer-coded power entity <3 i was so happy that MC had powers (not from a suit we had to spend diamonds on), and wow they executed this trope so well. rowan is so well written with 3 different personality types, it's wonderful. y'know, i used to make MCs for every choices book (until i got lazy lol) and i can't believe i have at least 4 MCs again <3 the creativity this game sparks in me i swear to the power. i'll see you soon: ronaldo, genuinely sweet and genuinely terrifying baby boy. wan, my sweet snarky selfless drag queen. amor, you tough dorky tcg-playing sweetheart. reg my flirty failgirl (gender neutral), beanie baby charmer.

shoutout to daddy mattyass for being the GOAT choices antagonist/secret LI. you know i have so much to say about him, but it's almost 2 am and also 90% of my ilw meta is about him anyways <3 love to hate him, hate to love him!! he lives rent free in my mind <33 (but fr, such a compelling character and no one else would've been as satisfying to deal with in the finale. i miss the king of delusion pathetic meow meow <3)

also loving luis, sunny, elena, jessica, milf mayor green, babygirl adrian kim, girlboss marianthe. every npc, every pixel and line of code and text and just everything, every thread that makes up the tapestry of this beautiful, priceless experience.

it lives on, it loves on.

pain is inevitable. it hurts because it's over, it hurts because i love this game with every fibre of my being... but love doesn't really die, does it? it lives on in a different form. the game will always be there. if anything, the fandom is alive with the love that's put into the project, the love that reaches us no matter where we are - even from the fictional town of Westchester to the Power dimension and beyond.

[ssaalexblake]

Mostly i'm legit Sick of it being everywhere in fandom that Yaz is gonna die because she has mental health problems. Basically. It's all the justification for that theory that anybody can come up with from the source material because not only is there no foreshadowing to say she's going to die, there's even been a scene that portrays her alive in the future. So all that's left is somehow Yaz does something stupid that gets her killed because of her illness.

Like, i get it, shows and media are still fuckawful with bury your gays, but not to put too fine of a point on it, saying or implying Yaz is just doomed to death because she's mentally ill is SO fucked up and that doesn't seem to occur to people. Especially in an era making a massive point in saying you can dig yourself out of the hole. Yaz is not Clara, Clara was arrogant as fuck and that's not a mental illness (well, it can be, but wasn't then), it's a personality flaw, these things are not comparable. It's easier to cure low self esteem than narcissism.

Yaz, also, if you've not noticed, has gotten better already. Her mental health is better than it was before. She's not as thoughtless as before, she's older and wiser, and we've seen scenes of her in the future.

And i do Deeply get the pessimism considering, but i am So Sick of all the comments on my posts acting like she's dead already and it usually being justified by some crap about Yaz's mental state when pretty much all actual evidence is pointing towards the fact that Yaz will be fine.

Go be pessimistic elsewhere, go act like she's doomed because she's got mental health problems elsewhere, because i'm not interested. Because Yeah, there's never 0% chance a show won't do something awful out of the blue, but we've gotten pretty far by now avoiding that in this era that has Never done shock value plot twists and has foreshadowed everything, and i'm not gonna make myself miserable for months over the vague possibility of an unlikely bullshit shock value move. If it happens, i will have suffered half as much as everybody assuming she's gonna die already, thank you, and i like it that way.

Like, go do you, if it makes you feel better, whatever, but constant pessimism is not the only valid take in life and people choosing to not torture themselves over something that may or may not happen does not make people naïve, i'd rather deal with what happens once i know what it even Is, thank you. If something shit happens at least i won't have suffered over it for months before hand as well... But please stop the vaguely offensive and utterly damaging rhetoric around mental illness, that's actively messed up.

[crazybnhatheorist]

Finding the UA traitor - Part 4 | Spying isn't manly

Wow, I haven't been in here for a while. Yeah, yeah, I'm week late, I know, but I had some shit going on. But I progressed! We have pictures and italics now.

Anyway, hello in 4th part already! Hope you'll like it. Though this (and next) pick isn't as suprising, I wanted to throw in my two cents.

Because Kirishima Eijirou may be hiding something.

Warnings: a few paragraphs contain manga spoilers, but as always, I marked them

Still water run deep

As always, let's look closer at... yeah, you guessed it, summer camp!

I'll get over with small things first. They doesn't prove anything on their own, but surely don't work for Kirishima's sake either and can be considered as foreshadowing... or something.

We're sure he had his cell phone with him. Was one of the not showed boys during the night. In the morning was the most exhausted of all students.

More serious stuff now. As we know, Kirishima failed his practice exam in some... very stupid way. I'd even say it was worth Kaminari. Like... Kirishima isn't THAT stupid guy, is he? Maybe he thought that by failing he won't be allowed to go to the camp. Remember his reaction to Aizawa announcing that he lied?

WhenI saw it for the first time I was like omg he so shook. Then I thought that maybe he's disgusted by his sensei's behavior, because it's not manly. Or maybe he just weirdly smiles. But on the next panel, we actually see that he's the only one not catched mid-smiling. And his arms' position doesn't suit the whatever-emotion-he-showed-second-ago (shock, disgust, terror)

On to the hideout raid arc

What to say? Just as before Yaoyorozu and Aoyama, Kirishima falls in for category 2. It's his Bakugou, after all!

And I must say he's lucky, too - LoV was teleported away before rescue squad jumped in, and even if AFO saw him, he ended up locked in prison.

But there's one important thing that happened before that. When the squad found fake factory and he used his night goggles, he was genuinly terrified when he saw noumus. Based on this, I think it's likely that he would work for AFO rather than Tomura - all of LoV members are similiar with them. While orders from All for One rather wouldn't be received direct from him, but there would be some kind of, you know, middleman.

Back to the night goggles... Maybe we don't know much about Kirishima family's wealthness, but I don't think he's another rich kid, either. A teenager like him can't afford something so expensive. Also, he avoided talking about where did he get them from and looked guilty when Bakugou gave him back some money. We know that AFO willingly sponsors Shigaraki's actions. So why not buy some stupid goggles for his spy, if he can afford freaking experiments on humans?

His motivation or juicy steak of manga spoilers (like really, you may want to skip it)

First, small thing to talk about is Kirishima's reaction to a student that gave up being a hero mentioned by Nejire. But let's look at this a little closer - from writer's pov.

Yeah, Nejire is very talkative and we know that, but I don't think that Horikoshi made her say that only to show how noisy she can be. I bet it was otherwise - he used it as a tool to foreshadow an important detail. And that is Kirishima's reaction, of course. We didn't get a direct response from his origin story though, so he left it to our interpretation or left a clue for something else.

For the first time, I thought that it reminded him of one of his worse moments and that maybe at some point he wanted to give up himself. On the other hand, the most common opinion is that maybe he knew that particular student and if it's true, then it's suspiscious - if it wasn't someone 'bad', then why would the author hide it?

From his origins we know that he secretly has many moments of self doubting. We also know the reason why. You see, Kirishima is the type of a guy that has his own values and sticks to them. If he have became a spy, someone from his family must would have made him to.

Sounds ridiculous, right? But it would make some sense. Eijirou's idol, for example, is... retro. If his parents were villains, it would make sense that he would choose an old hero, as them wouldn't be fond about new ones. Seeing his parents reactions, he'd found himself a figure that nobody remembers about. Or else - do you remember how unomfortable he was while talking about his idol to Midnight, when creating hero names? Yes, it makes sense, but let's be even more ambitious - he feels like that, because he tells it in front of whole class, after hiding it from his parents his whole life. It's not like him to be shameful about a figure he took his main values from.

And you may ask, what about that time when he sympathised with a villain? If think of that blades guy as a tool of showing who Kirishima is really. Not only his origins, but the empathy. It will make perfect sense if at some point he spills the bills, as he no longer want to be part of monstrous LoV actions, especially after kidnapping his best friend.

So in the end, if this theory is true, my best boy made much bigger self-progress than anybody thought.

Pros and cons (nomore spoilers!)

Pros

Reasonable motives

His reaction to going to the forest camp

His reaction to Bakugou being kidnapped

Some small things (the student that gave up, his idol and how he talks about him, his problems with himself, fight with the blades villain) may be foreshadowing

The impact it would made on both characters and readers

Cons

He already is a well developed character, so why add anything more to him?

Majority of evidence can be debunked, as half of it have multiple meanings

I don't have a specific opinion on it, to be honest. I hate a concept of this, as Kirishima is my favourite character in the show, while my masochistic writer side wants to see it happen so freaking bad. Just a great made plot twist, you know?

But what are yours opinions guys? I wanna hear them, so don't be afraid to text me! Hope you liked it.

See ya, pumpkins!