#my little trash-diving pedro

[xshrimpcake]

best drinksmith in penacony!!

[always-andromeda]

Hello, Meda! Let’s say, hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, I was considering checking out some of Pedro’s roles to start pooooossibly writing for him. What shows/movies would you recommend to a total newbie? 👁️

Eli!! Hey!! 🫶🏻☺️

I’m leaving all my recommendations under the cut since I went on for a stupidly long amount of time lmao.

I would say that it depends on what kind of media you’re in the mood to consume right now!! My good reliable recommendation is always The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. That one features one of my favorite Pedro boys, Javi Gutierrez. He’s an absolute sweetheart and even though I’m not a massive Nicolas Cage fan, him and Pedro are such an enjoyable duo. It’s one of my go-to comfort films since it’s pretty lighthearted!!

Another good goofy one is The Bubble. Here, he plays Dieter Bravo. An aging, paranoid, somewhat washed up actor who has…so many fucking issues…so many of them. The movie itself isn’t fantastic (in my opinion lmao), it takes place during the earlier days of the pandemic so a lot of the humor it employs is very reminiscent of the time. But it’s still a fun watch, if only for the sake of our favorite trash panda.

In a similar, still somewhat lighthearted vein, I’d recommend Kingsman: The Golden Circle. It’s an action film with plenty of goofs and gaffs. In this one, Pedro plays a classic cowboy, Jack Daniels, also known as “Whiskey.” He’s got the southern charm, the lasso, and ever so slight himbo vibes.

I would say that quintessential Pedro is him as Joel in The Last of Us, Javier Peña in Narcos, and Din Djarin in The Mandalorian. Those are easily some of his most memorable roles in my mind and that’s for good reason!! They’re the parts where I think he really shines as an actor. However, I would highly recommend taking a look over content warnings for both The Last of Us and Narcos since both shows deal with some possibly triggering material if you’re not familiar with either of them!!

Last but not least, my underrated pick: him as Ezra in Prospect. Prospect was one of those films I didn’t think much of at first, but it’s lowkey one of my favorites. Ezra by himself is such a fascinating character but it’s also a great example of how well he bounces off of other actors?? He and Sophie Thatcher play off of each other so well (though I may be a tiny bit biased because I also adore Sophie lol). So if you’re ever in a little bit of a sci-fi mood, I would definitely recommend diving into Prospect!!

Keep in mind, there are so many other roles he’s played. His career spans all the way back to the 90s. Aside from the more well known things he’s been in, there are more indie projects he’s been a part of and little roles that he’s taken on various shows. I very strongly believe that there’s a Pedro boy for everyone and I hope you have fun delving into the insanity!! 💛

[aaeds]

Life, Death, and Peter Pan

“It could always be worse.”

I keep hearing it as though it’s a mantra that’ll make this pandemic better, except the more I think about it the more I think about when it was worse. At first it was the near homelessness, the starvation, eating out of garbage cans just to make it through college. 

Then I go further back, and the closer we get to Christmas the more I get to thinking about Peter Pan, pogs, and my Uncle Pedro. 

To start the year is 1998, I’m nine and and it’s December 21st. My Aunt is early to our house for the holidays and I’m moved to another room for a while until my dad comes to get me. “Do you know what death is?” Of course, bottom up goldfish, great grand parent’s casket, estate sales. “Do you know where Heaven is?” Well. Who could say, I was nine. My uncle was taken from us then days before Christmas, but not by an accident or illness. He was shot point blank in the head through his truck’s window and robbed at the side of the road somewhere between the Mexican Border and Texas.

That year was a quiet affair, and we sat around my aunt in a rocking chair as though she were made of the most fragile of glass that rivaled my grandmother’s oil lamp collection.

It’s an event that is seared into my memory down to the clothes that I wore to the expressions of our guests and the knowledge that the police refused to investigate the murder. He was from Mexico, it was ‘probably drug related.’ They didn’t want the trouble.

It took months of searching to find something. I wrote him a letter, and I put it under my pillow. When no one wanted to talk about it, I wrote about it. And when it was laundry day I hid it under my mattress, in bookshelves, anywhere my parents couldn’t find it.

Now I have to backtrack a little bit, tell you about him at the very least and what all I can remember of the brief time we were a family. Uncle Pedro was part time big brother, part time caregiver, part time teacher. He bullied me and made me cry, popped balloons he pretended to give me and tried to stick me into a very tiny crab hole on the beach I was afraid of.  But he also ran to my rescue to see if I was alright when I fell from the side of a pool and hit my head on the ladder. Before that, taught me how to dive.  He taught me about pogs and told me it didn’t matter if I didn’t understand the game, just to find really cool ones that I liked.

He made sure I got the pink ranger in a happy meal, and always won me stuffed toys if I wanted one from crane games. He was great at them, brought trash bags of them home to his family in Mexico. He loved his family so much, so I can’t believe the cop hype about gang shit. 

He came with my family and I with my Aunt to Disney, and it was the one time I was punished, but afterward we all rode the Haunted Mansion and the Peter Pan ride together. I loved Peter Pan, I had the musical taped by my dad and watched it every week. I near wore out my VHS of the Disney cartoon.

When I was standing at the edge of the street as the Disney parade began and the lights went out and fairy lights blew up I remember being handed an unwrapped tinker bell doll to be my company for the parade. That was my thing, someone remembered. That or they didn’t know if I had a favourite Disney princess! 

Fast forward through the rest of elementary school and I’ve read the original JM Barrie, Disney paperbacks, know how sinister everything sounds about the lost boy. But with how things were going, and how things had fallen apart since his death and the stress the holidays brought

Well, I just started to leave my window open for him. Just in case I left a note for my family in case Peter came, and had the note for my Uncle. I left my window open from about 1999 to 2009. Even in the winter I left it open a crack, anytime something went poorly and I needed to escape I always left my window open just enough.

I can’t really look at anything Peter Pan related without bursting into tears, and my parents associate it with the worst points of my life where they almost lost me too.

I can’t hear ‘things could be worse’ anymore. I know what ‘worse’ is, does anyone else? I want a way forward, not a reminder of how low things can go. 

[uomo-accattivante]

One of the things you can’t help noticing when you talk to Oscar Isaac is just how incredible he is at playing the part of Oscar Isaac. It’s not that he’s putting on a performance. But when you talk to Oscar Isaac, the public idea of Oscar Isaac begins to make a tremendous amount of sense.

We talk a couple of days before the release of Netflix’s new Triple Frontier, an action-adventure heist/American military allegory flick (it’s a lot) that Isaac stars in, and Isaac manages to, within the span of a few minutes, quote Shakespeare and express guilt about shoplifting in his college days. In other words: He’s sensitive with a risky streak. It’s no wonder the Internet has declared him its boyfriend (and more recently, its husband).

This quality, of course, is part of what makes Isaac so compelling to watch when he’s playing an actual role. He seamlessly shades his characters with duality; by turns he can play dour and charming, cerebral and clueless. Take Triple Frontier. Isaac portrays a character, Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia, who is essentially a stand-in for Donald Rumsfeld. He’s tasked with rallying an all-star gang of ex-Special Forces agents (played by Ben Affleck, Charlie Hunnam, Pedro Pascal, and Garrett Hedlund) to execute a covert heist of a South American drug lord. It’s an ill-fated, and perhaps misguided, operation, but Isaac makes you believe that nothing can go wrong—and, moreover, that what they’re doing is inherently right, all while emitting a sense of manifest failure.

On the heels of turning 40, Isaac hasn’t given much thought to where he wants to take his talents for portraying complex characters next, only that he wants to scale back. “Doing the circus thing can get tiring after a while,” he says. Though, it won’t be long before he talks about what a thrill it was to train for a daunting high elevation chase scene. The change of tune comes off genuinely; he digs a good adventure, but also wants to settle down. It’s both. And it’s Oscar Isaac, so you believe him.

Happy birthday!

Thank you.

Did you do anything exciting?

We had a little bit of a house party. We just moved to a new place. So we thought, “Why not trash it? Have a party.”

It was a pretty big birthday [40]. As you move into middle age, are there new kinds of roles you're interested in playing?

No, not necessarily. But it's just kind of fun to start a new decade.

Do you have a philosophy in terms of how you choose roles generally?

Oh no, if only. Things would be so much easier. Choosing roles is really more like falling in love. I don't have a specific type that I'm looking for. It's just kind of if I read the thing or speak to the director or see some art that's connected with it and it incites something where I can't stop thinking about it, then I keep moving towards it.

Tell me about how you fell in love, then, with the character of Pope in Triple Frontier.

I worked with J.C. [Chandor] on A Most Violent Year. That had gone well. And I knew he was somebody I could trust in the editing room. You could try lots of different things and he won't make you look like an idiot. And then he talked to me about the kind of guy this is, the parables behind the whole movie, it being an allegory to the way the United States has operated throughout the world, and how in some ways my character is the Donald Rumsfeld of the story. [Pope] says, “Look, we can do this. We can take out a really bad guy. We'll be rich. We'll be in and out. No problem.” And so there's a bit of hubris there about their skills—even though these characters are incredibly skilled. But he underestimates the team's greed.

Once I became involved, we started having conversations. We thought an interesting complication—and one thing that would make it not feel so cliché—would be making the character of Pope actually from the area that he's been working in. There's a familial connection to it, so there's something more at stake. He wants to take out this guy not just as a trophy but because he actually thinks it'll make a difference.

In Annihilation you also played someone in the military. And I read that you at one point had considered joining the Marines. Is there something about diving into that military world that attracted you?

Yeah. That's definitely something I had been into when I was younger, and I had imagined that that was an avenue I could've gone down for my life. And I was very near going to boot camp and starting that whole process, and then other things happened that took me away from that. So I think there's always something inside of me that wonders about the What if? of it.

I can be quite a good student when it comes to certain things. So learning the mechanics of working with the weapons, learning about situational awareness and clearing the room, the team-building exercises—all those things, I got very excited by. And also, there was a lot of high altitude training.

What was that like?

What was cool was that all of us had a different physical task. Garrett [Hedlund] was the MMA fighter and there was a whole MMA fight that ended up getting cut down quite a bit. So he ended up spending a lot of time training that way, training with jiu-jitsu. Pedro [Pascal] spent a lot of time with the cockpit and flying. And then Charlie [Hunnam] and Ben [Affleck] both found things that were specific to their characters. And for me, I knew that I was having to do this extended chase sequence in Colombia, which was between 10,000 and 13,000 feet, depending on exactly where we were shooting. So I knew that was something I needed to train for just so I'd be able to do more than one take without throwing up. And I found a place here in New York that's a hyperbaric chamber that's able to replicate what it's like to run in different altitudes. They have a treadmill in there. And an oxygen mask, and even a tent you could sleep in at night to get your blood saturated with oxygen.

When you were preparing, what kinds of things did you learn about the military that surprised you, or that you didn't know when you were considering joining the Marines way back when?

I was a kid back then, so I didn't know much. I was like, “I'll get fit. I'll get money for college. I'll go in there because some of my friends are planning on going in there as well.” There were some people I admired who had been. This was like 1998. But the reality of it is the amount of sacrifice—not just physically, but emotionally. Being separated from your family for long, long periods of time. And especially special forces guys, who are just the elite, top of the top. There's this sense of [it being] these tough guys, these killers, chest-pounding guys. The truth is the people we spoke with [have] humility and soft-spokenness and ethical codes they go by, [there’s] lack of rejoicing in violence, the desire for connection, and the way deadly force is viewed—all those things I found to not be clichéd adolescent ideas of what being a military guy is.

The movie is very much an allegory about the American military and the country's greed. But how did you internalize the individual sense of greed that you're portraying in the film?

There's something that's epic about it. It's a very primal tale. Macbeth is the same thing. Macbeth is a heroic soldier. The entire first part of Macbeth is everyone saying what an incredible soldier Macbeth was, what he did, how he was fearless, courageous, how he saved his men. He is the hero. And then that little thing gets in there like an infection, this thought, What more could I have? "What do I deserve for everything that I've done?" And that’s mixed with the violence the person is seeing. So that for me was very interesting. Noble people who have a tragic flaw that brings them down. For my character, it was less the money. It was more revenge, taking out this one guy he's been hunting since he's been down there. He actually believes that if he cuts down this head, the rest of the thing will fall.

Did you return to moments in your life or career where you caught yourself letting greed get the best of you?

I think when I was in college I definitely did some damage at the Tower Records across the street. And the Barnes & Noble... And a couple liquor stores. There was a sense of, “I am a college student. I can barely make ends meet over here. This is a big company; they're not going to mind if I take this book of poetry.” So I could justify snagging a few items here and there. But of course Tower Records closes down, and I can't help but feel at fault.

It’s not your fault.

It was a flawed system. They had the bargain DVDs right next to the place where you walk out. So you could just put [your bag] right there next to it, go through the metal detectors, and then reach back and grab your bag.

Do you think you could graduate from Barnes & Noble theft and pull off an actual heist?

No. I wouldn't know where to begin or what to do. Anything I know about it is from movies.

Are you a fan of the heist genre?

I like the heist genre thrown on its head. My favorite movie is Dog Day Afternoon. And that is another thing where it's like, Let's do this thing. We're going to rob a bank. In and out of there. And everything that happens after that is, to me, the most exciting part. It's people in extreme situations. I worked in a hospital when I was younger, and that's something I learned a lot from, seeing people in extreme situations. You see the entire spectrum of humanity in those moments.

As a musician and a big music fan, how do you use music to get yourself in the mindset of a role?

I've done that for ages. Often for me, it's less specific about, This makes me think about this thing. It's more about what gets me to a place of readiness, openness. What makes me feel connected to the earth a bit more. Sometimes I'll put together music that I find inspiring thematically, or tonally. But I think if it's something that needs any real depth of emotion, there's this one guy named Ernst Reijseger, an incredible cellist who did the soundtrack to Werner Herzog's Cave of Forgotten Dreams. I listen to that and it puts me in a primal state. It opens me up so I'm able to receive anything that's floating around inside without judging it too much.

Were you listening to that for this role?

For this one, there were a couple moments when I did. But I think I listened to a lot of Sepultura, a Brazilian hardcore metal band. It gave a sense of the chaos and the violence, and it has some Brazilian kind of tribal elements to it. So it felt like a bit of a mix of everything they're getting involved in down there.

What's the best piece of direction you've gotten in your career?

The first one that comes to my mind was just like the sweetest way of saying "Tone it down." A great writer, Hossein Amini, he came over and in the sweetest way said, "The camera is just not able to capture what you're doing right now. We don't have the technology yet to get what you're doing. So you just have to bring it down a bit so we can capture it on the camera."

My editor insisted I find out about the footage you filmed for the Disney Parks upcoming Star Wars-themed lands. Is there anything you can tell me?

I'm afraid I can't, because actually I don't really remember [laughs]. I think some of it happened in the middle of filming the actual movie. So they were like, "Hey, today you're coming in and you'll be in the cockpit." So it's those kinds of situations. I'm sure I'm in the cockpit and I'm screaming about something important.

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[sohannabarberaesque]

Postcards from Snagglepuss: Catalina Ahoy!

The milieu: The Catalina Terminal in San Pedro, traditional gateway maritime for "The Magic Isle," as in Santa Catalina Island, from the Southern California mainland. Awaiting on a Catalina Express high-speed boat crossing to said Catalina, along with a certain Huckleberry Hound and Top Cat. Objective: Looking over Avalon in particular, especially with the Cahuenga Pass Funtastic Divers (basically a few of us fellow Funtastics as are into SCUBA or freediving) being among the teams in the forthcoming Avalon Harbour Underwater Cleanup this Saturday. Particular foci on lodgings for some of our diver types.

At any rate, boarding call for our cruise is announced, and getting the bags stowed away above our seats for the nearly-hour-long crossing of the Catalina Channel ... and even taking our seats, come to think of it. Sipping on some seltzer water, besides ... and before long, the magic can be said to begin when the journey gets underway. Otherwise, the vessel happens to be full of a few divers also headed for the Underwater Cleanup, air tanks and all.

Just as we get underway out of Los Angeles Harbour, Huckleberry Hound "himself" starts things rolling when he brings up with TC the likelihood of maybe some of those dates among his crew in Avalon hosting some of our fellow divers. TC, for his part, can't resist his mobile phone doing yeoman duty as a Little Black Book of sorts when it comes to some of their girlfriends on Catalina--as in Sabrina, Jayne, Lola, Jessamaine, Joleen and Samantha, many of whom are also rather wonderful diving types. All to arrange lodgings for some of our diving troupe for the Harbour Cleanup, even if it's probably a room or a spare bed in their quarters.

Now mind you, they may not be on a par with the Perfumed Cat of Pedigreed Fame of the famous(?!) poem, but they certainly have plenty of experience when it comes to sharing some "quality time," for one, among The Magic Isle's Submarine Gardens, at least one even remarking (by TC's account) that the felines on Catalina learn swimming and snorkelling rather early on; Catalina, in all honsty, is more a diving sort of SoCal town than a surfing such. At any rate, all six agreed to meet us three over a seafood supper at a rather legendary back-street seafood grotto in Avalon soon after we checked in at our hotel, the better to discuss the lodging arrangements when our divers arrived in the next day or so.

In fact, it was just as the sunset's radiance was making its mark onto the Pacific over Avalon Bay that we made our way to our hotel, a backstreet sort of place not too widely known but having its own sort of charm, one definitely beyond Scooby-Doo. More like the Cattanooga Cats, shall we say ... and at any rate, TC and Crew's Catalinan girlfriends were ready for us at the bar with plenty of ginger ale and seltzer as we waited to be shown our table. And for sheer ambience, this particular seafood grotto (which shall remain nameless) takes the points. Not to mention the steamed crab, the cedar-planked tuna and salmon, the crusty rolls even ... as well as plenty of stories from that feline sextet about the diving and other misadventures TC's clowder had, including such times Spook sat in on some jazz concerts as went much of the night, even being invited to play the drums (and the crowd laughing all the more).

Admittedly, it took some serious negotiating, but at any rate, the six were able to find some space for the likes of our diving team, even if it meant Murphy beds having to be opened and the bedding getting seriously aired out. Besides, Murphy beds call the Hair Bear Bunch to mind, as it turns out (in fact, in Lola's case, her Murphy bed was found decently-sized enough for Square and Bubi, with Hair Bear likely to lie on an inflatable mattress).

A few last-minute reminder calls about the schedule, especially so the receptions on Friday and Saturday evenings, and the Harbour Cleanup itself on Saturday morning, preceded by a Mandatory Safety Briefing for all participant divers. To be followed when the cleanup ended at 11 by the gathering of such trash and debris found by all involved, with awards likely as much as tall stories.

To round out the evening ... who should come along but my old Laff-a-Lympics colour commentary companion, Mildew Wolf ("I'm not diving myself, but could imagine the ensuing documentary of the Character Convocation," saith he over a nightcap of decaffeinated coffee, Swiss Water Method even).

At any rate, I hope to have a full roundup as I record it next week in this space.

[jacks-tracks]

Kurimungawa

To save two days travel. I flew here. The boats are prone to sinking. Ali the hotel manager met me at the airport and motorcycled me  1 half hour along the island to the main town,Paved but bumpy road, little traffic. New owner Pedro kept the rate low($10) for a high ceilinged fan room, window to bush, shared cold shower, good breakfast and exceptional service.  Somebody always on hand with suggestions, a ride to and from the fruit market, good price forsnorkle tours and motorcycle rental,generally very friendly. It’s bloody hot here, and when the wind dies it’s a cooker. I signd up for snorkeling, which is an all day boat trip to the outer islands, snorkle stop on the way at Nemos garden(Nemo was there) that had very good coral. As usualI saw coral forms that were new to me, and fish in the most fantastic patterns and colours. no big fish, they catch them which is short sighted as a healthy reef needs a balanced ecology.  on to a 2 acre island, covered in pandanus and casarina. There  afterwading ashore, we explored, I picked trash, one bag of plastic in 10 minutes. The crew cooked a fish lunch (not Nemo) and brought fruit, rice, tofu, and a veg mix swimming in hot sauce. Somnolent after feasting I joined the staff sleeping on a porch cabin for a siesta. Up and away, snorkle stop at the National park where the coral was bigger, and the fish more numerous. I spent some dive time untangling fishing line from the coral and retrieving some.. squid jigs. Every dive stop is an hour long and I have been in full time, floating in the warm bouyant water. Hovering over feeding fish, watching cleaner wrasse groom fish, who comically float head up to show their readiness, and poking into coral caves to see urchins, and a lobster. Staying still lets the shyer fish come out and it’s then that the remarkable variety is displayed. Olive green fish 6 inches long, with heads patt erened in brain coral shaped stripe of lime and blue, feathered tails in electric green and yellow, and blue cuadal fins. What is the purpose of all this colour? It certainly isn’t camo! There are so many kinds of parrot fish, in all the colours, often all on one fish. Tiny silver fish glint blue when they turn, others that look green flash blue in the sun. some are just irridescent. A wonderful experience, and it’s one of the things I came here for. Add in brilliantly white sand beaches, tiny atolls forming new islands with hot water washing across them on the rising tide, Palms at sunset flickering golden light off their leaves and casarina in the wind sighing like  soft rain. Whew, it/s good!

I did rent a motorcycle here ($5 a  day) and toured the island, stopping ar 3 beaches, the first of which was down a cemented path, deserted, fringed with sea grape. I hung my hammock, avoiding the stream of agressive red ants, and swung in the breeze, reading a good book and eating a sliurpy mangoe. Second stop wa s the same stretch of coast where fishing boats were high tided on the sand. Most fishing happens at night here. Took pics of eveything from a 40 foot squid boat to tiny canoes. Ingeniously, lacking good logs, the locals make canoes out of  200lire drums, using the frames from the old boats, and epoxying the plastic on. Any length, probably very tippy.. Next stop was also down a bumpy track to a beach where the nice lady Sold me a delicious coconut, and There was a lounger in the palm shade. Last stop was a very long track over the island to Barakuda (sic) beach, pasr shrimp farms carved out of the mangroves, by little tiled homes and  finally down to a deserted beach where Asuccesful day where I saw  monkeys eating  mangoes, tranquil beaches, rode safely, and enjoyed it all.

Back for shower, laundry abd dinner at the night market where I remembered to ask, Tidak Pedas,,, no hot sauce.  Snapper grilled on coconut husks, fluffy rice, and a herd of eager cats to share with. The kittens ate rice till they burped, the older cats only wanted the real thing , fish!  Mosquitoes were bad, but the local repellant works, probably toxic, but I wash it off when safely indoors.

The second snorkle trip set out in 2 meter waves, and was less interesting. So i took a third, to the surprise of the guides. Perhaps noone goes twice? Another even more succesful trip with many more new fish, coral forms, and  a chill out stop at the National park. Home by sunset. All in all a great trip, well worth the travel. Onward to Yogyakarta!

[placetobenation]

*** Scott & JT’s Vintage Vault Refresh reviews are a chronological look back at WWE PPV and TV history that began with a review of WrestleMania I. The PICs have revisited these events and refreshed all of their fun facts that provide insight into the match, competitors and state of the company as well as their overviews of the match action and opinions and thoughts on the outcomes. In addition, Jeff Jarvis assists in compiling historical information and the Fun Facts in each of the reviews. Also, be sure to leave feedback on the reviews at our Facebook page. Enjoy! ***

Monday Night Raw #115

June 12, 1995 (Taped June 5, 1995) Struthers High School Struthers, OH Announcers: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

1) Bam Bam Bigelow defeats Duane Gill with the diving headbutt at 2:00

Scott: Man, we haven’t seen Duane Gill in ages. Bam Bam Bigelow is in the main event of the KOTR show, but he easily could have been a tournament competitor and won it. Perhaps if Sid eventually wins the World Title from Diesel and Bigelow challenges him? Speaking of the WWF Champion he is on the phone with Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler while this squash is going on. It’s more focus of Diesel’s elbow rehab and Sid maybe destroying it at the PPV. Bigelow wins. Grade: DUD

JT: Welcome to another installment of Monday Night Raw, where we are coming at you via videotape from Struthers, OH, just weeks away from the third annual King of the Ring. Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler have the call for us tonight as usual and we waste little time in heading to the ring for our opening contest where Bam Bam Bigelow power walks out, flames-a-blazing to take on the erstwhile Duane Gill. Vince and King put over KOTR and talk about Bigelow’s big main event match there as he teams with Diesel against Sid and Tatanka. As the match chugs along, Diesel dials in to chat with Vince and King about his rehabbing elbow injury and they talk about whether he is pushing it to get back in the ring too soon. Diesel says he is WWF Champion and he has to be there to support Bammer and get a shot at Sid. He is aware of what could happen but it is worth it for a chance to Jackknife Sid. Diesel heads off to keep working at prepping for KOTR as Bigelow nabs the win with the diving headbutt. Usual squash here but this was well served to catch us up with Diesel’s status. Grade: DUD

*** We visit with WWF newcomer Waylon Mercy, who is hanging around on some rocks. He enjoys nature and worms but he doesn’t like worms crawling on him, just like he doesn’t want wrestlers touching him in the ring. And like the worm on his arm, he will squash any wrestlers that get in his way… you know what he means? ***

*** Barry Didinsky is backstage with the Mad Capper and the Smoking Gunns playing WWF Mat Caps. You can get a special gold WWF mat cap and playing board with an order tonight! Get in on it! ***

2) Kama defeats David Haskins with a belly-to-belly suplex at 2:09

Scott: We get the first Raw vignette for a character named Waylon Mercy, which seems like a Max Cady type gimmick from Cape Fear. Interesting, it seems like a pretty deep character for 1995 WWF. But perhaps not. It’s obviously Dan Spivey but that’s ok. This isn’t Doink or Mantaur. This type of gimmick could be one you think about. As for this match, Kama is getting stalked by the Undertaker’s Creatures of the Night at ringside, complete with black wreaths. Similar to what happened with Mr. Hughes two years earlier. Kama wins, but a match with Taker is clearly on the horizon. Grade: DUD

JT: We head back down to the ring as Kama and Ted DiBiase come walking out for a match with David Haskins. Kama still has that gold chain draped around his neck, forged from the Undertaker’s urn months ago. We get some talk about the KOTR tournament and then pan to the crowd where we see the Creatures of the Night sitting in the crowd, an ominous sign of the Undertaker’s presence. Vince promotes Mr. Mom, this week’s USA Movie, airing Thursday night. Jerry Lawler also talks some shit on Bret Hart and their Kiss My Foot match and we get some foot puns from both announcers as Kama mauls and defeats Haskins. After the match Kama gets in the faces of the Creatures and then destroys the black wreath they had placed at ringside. The heat continue to intensify in this rivalry. Grade: DUD

*** Todd Pettengill is in the house with this week’s King of the Ring Report. We are just under two weeks away and here are the matches discussed:

Diesel & Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Sid & Tatanka Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler – Kiss My Foot Match Undertaker vs. Mabel – King of the Ring Opening Round Match Shawn Michaels vs. Kama – King of the Ring Opening Round Match Bob Holly vs. Roadie – King of the Ring Opening Round Match Razor Ramon vs. TBD – King of the Ring Opening Round Match

There you have it, that is the full slate, plus the later rounds of the KOTR tournament, of course. Be sure to order now so you won’t miss out! ***

3) Man Mountain Rock defeats Bob Cook with the Whammy Bar at 1:04

Scott: We had our KOTR Report with Todd going over everything, and to be honest those brackets seem, well somewhat thin of talent. I mean there’s Razor Ramon, Shawn Michaels and Undertaker who are obviously the favorites. Interesting what they attempt to do with this bracket. This match is trash, but the guitar stuff is fun. Grade: DUD

JT: Next up in the ring, we have another appearance from Man Mountain Rock. MMR shreds the guitar in the ring for a little mini-concert before his match with Bob Cook. It was actually a pretty cool touch to have him do that before his match. Vince puts over MMR’s in ring and music skills as he makes very swift work of the rotund Cook. Vince reminds us that Bob Backlund has threatened to confront MMR here tonight to prevent him from playing his evil rock music. MMR gets the win with the Whammy Bar and celebrates a bit but no sign of Mr. Backlund just yet. Grade: DUD

*** Stephanie Wiand has an update on this year’s WWF Hall of Fame ceremony, going down in Philadelphia on King of the Ring weekend. Here is the full slate of inductees: Antonino Rocca, Ernie Ladd, Ivan Putski, Fabulous Moolah, Pedro Morales and Grand Wizard. ***

*** Backstage, Bob Backlund is stalking around looking for Man Mountain Rock and stumbles across Rock’s guitar, which he drops on the ground. He then rants and raves about the effect rock ‘n’ roll music has had on the world and affected children in school. 

4) Tekno Team 2000 defeats John Chrystal & Mike Khoury when Travis pins Khoury with a high cross body at 3:25

Fun Fact: We get the debut of Tekno Team 2000 as a new tag team this evening. Chad Fortune (Travis) and Erik Watts (Troy) started off as football teammates for the University of Louisville. Both of them later got into professional wrestling and were reunited in 1994 as a tag team. They began their careers in the AWA, but were later signed by the WWF in 1995. They made their debut at Madison Square Garden on March 19, 1995 where they defeated the Heavenly Bodies.

Scott: Who the hell are these guys? Well. at least we have another tag team to battle for Owen & Yoko’s belts. Is that Erik Watts? My god, it is Erik Watts. Yikes, I totally forgot about that. Their gimmick names are Travis & Troy. They work halfway decent in the ring, and they get the victory. Are they faces or heels? I can’t tell what any of this is about. Grade: 1/2*

JT: Back to the ring we go as a newcomer team, Tekno Team 2000, hits the ring for their debut match. Travis and Troy are slated to battle old friends John Chrystal and Mike Khoury as the WWF continues to refresh the roster and mix new faces into the fray. Troy and Khoury start off as Vince says we hope to hear from MMR later on about what happened to his guitar at the hands of Bob Backlund. King then takes his weekly shots at Helen Hart as the boys from the future continue to dominate the action with some pretty basic offense. These guys certainly have the look and the tag division does need some depth but the gimmick is kind of odd and they aren’t all that smooth in the ring. I just realized these goofs are wrestling in jean shorts with dress belts so either their gear got fucked with or they were trying for some sort of distinct look to make them stand out. Troy slams Khoury and Travis flies off the top rope with a cross body to pick up the win. Decent debut but we will see if these guys amount to anything going forward. Grade: DUD

*** Man Mountain Rock is sitting at his locker shocked and sad about what Bob Backlund did to his prized guitar. Rock vows revenge and says things have now become personal. ***

5) Yokozuna defeats Lex Luger in a King of the Ring Qualifying Match via countout at 7:57

Scott: Vince just said that Razor Ramon injured his ribs over the weekend at a house show at Nassau Coliseum. They are really pumping up this match as a feud two years in the making, going back to July 4,1993 and the Intrepid Slam, the botched match at SummerSlam and the disappointment at WrestleMania X. Is this the match where Luger finally wins a match clean on a big stage, and perhaps becomes the favorite in the KOTR tournament? Luger takes control for most of the match with Yoko missing moves, until Luger is distracted by Mr. Fuji and Yoko blindsides him. Yoko takes control with chokes and of course the nerve pinch. Luger tried to elbow out of it but that didn’t happen. These guys’ tag team partners (Bulldog & Owen) are backstage so this is straight up. Luger finally starts gaining an advantage until Mr. Fuji goes after Luger’s flag bearer (wrestler Scotty Anton) and takes the USA Flag. Luger gets the flag back to Anton but Yokozuna attacks Luger outside and throws him into the post, then a leg drop on the outside. Yoko gets back in the ring and Luger is counted out. What a horrendous ending to this one. Luger looks like a fucking chump again and Yoko will face Razor in the first round on June 25. The match wasn’t bad but the ending is putrid. Grade: **

JT: Time for our final bout of the evening as we head to the ring to finally fill the remaining KOTR slot. We saw British Bulldog and Owen Hart go to a draw last week, so their tag team partners now get a crack and heading to Philly to face Razor Ramon. Vince does inform us that Ramon injured his ribs at a live event over the weekend, so he will be dinged up come KOTR. I thought they did a nice job hyping this match both last week and this week, really focusing on the deep history between these two rivals. It added even extra heat to an already high stakes match. After Yoko and his entourage hit the ring, Lex Luger comes out flanked by his flag bearer, local Atlanta wrestler Scott Anton, a man that has admired Luger for years according to Vince. The crowd rallies up a big “USA” chant as Lex paces around the ring before the bell. We finally get going with Yoko controlling the action, opening with a big slam but Lex dodges an elbow drop and tries to work the arm. Lex keeps hammering away, eventually knocking Yoko out to the floor, a spot which Vince reminds us was reminiscent of SummerSlam 1993. Yoko would return and Lex kept clobbering him until Mr. Fuji gets in lex’s face, allowing Yoko to drill him from behind. Fuji is always poor Lex’s kryptonite. Yoko got really aggressive here, battering Luger without abandon and then choking away. After  break, Yoko cut off a comeback attempt but came up empty on an avalanche splash. Luger went back to work with shoulder tackles before dropping Yoko with a flurry of forearm blows and clotheslines to a big pop. As Lex fired up for the death blow, Fuji went over and smacked Anton and took away the American flag. That drew out Luger to lay out Cornette and take back the flag for Anton, but Yoko took advantage and slung Lex into the post. He followed that up with a leg drop and then slid inside for the count out win. I was just thinking that Lex was looking good here, seemed energetic and the crowd was hyped up… and then we get that. Yet again. Lex can’t keep his hands off Fuji and it costs him a big match. In an already disappointing year for Luger, this may be the final blow to end him as an sort of player. He chokes again. The match was actually kind of fun as the chemistry between these two was evident and the crowd was dialed in too. The finish shit all over that though. Yokozuna heads to Philly and a shot to be a surprising King of the Ring. Grade: **

*** After a break, we check out Jerry Lawler’s special King of the Ring training footage, which includes him walking around barefoot in his stables, stepping through all sorts of dirt and horse shit. We then head back to Superstars this past weekend where Lawler defeated Aldo Montoya and then shoved his foot in Aldo’s mouth after the match. ***

Final Analysis

Scott: What is up with these trash Qualifier endings? Can’t Luger just win the damn thing? They must have totally lost faith in him, even though he didn’t get pinned. Getting counted out like that make you look like a total putz. Some of these gimmicks right now are utterly ridiculous, like Man Mountain Rock. Nice WWF guitar, but he’s terrible in the ring. This Taker storyline with the urn is idiotic too. This new tag team could work out but they look like morons in their outfits. And it’s Erik Watts. At least he’s in a tag team. This episode isn’t as bad as last week’s but it’s pretty close. Diesel on the phone? YOUR WWF CHAMPION MUST BE ON TV. FINAL GRADE: D+

JT: Just like last week, while the actual wrestling product is starting to swirl down the bowl at a quicker pace, the production and presentation of the program continues to improve and carry the show. The pacing, audio mixing and sweetening and overall presentation has been quite good and it makes the shows feel brisk and effective, despite the actual meat of the show turning more and more sour. The roster is really starting to thin out and the effects of misuse of the actual name stars are now showing all over the place. The KOTR tournament could have really been loaded this year but instead it is an odd mishmash and the way the brackets are set up make you wonder just what the hell the show will bring us. Add on a really blasé main event and a Kiss My Foot match that nobody wants to see and the PPV card is not exactly bringing lots of anticipation. They are trying hard to overhaul the roster but these gimmicks are not exactly wowing the imagination either. And even if they are working a bit, none of them have main event level potential. Yet again, the show was pretty easy to watch but there just isn’t much to get excited about, unless you enjoy Lex Luger being made to look like an idiot over and over. Until next week… Final Grade: D+