#my logic is- gourmet expensive goes top

[doctorstrangeaskblog]

What are your top 3 ice cream flavors (not including hulka hulka burning fudge)

Blue moon is there just because of midwestern childhood memories. I know it's not that good when compared to the others in my top ranks.

This is the tier list if you want to make your own.

I challenge you @sobeautifullyobsessed @byondtheveil @multiverse-of-pizza-time @askthechaoticwitch @askthesorcerersupreme

[lollytea]

I have a three hour class coming up, so naturally, I need to give you something that will take you three hours to write to make it fair. Gimme all of them for either Satin Diamond or Jazzle, your choice.

Idk enough about Puzzle to do ALL of these about Jazzle so I went with the sparkles.

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

Now I’ve said that Guy is a HUUUUUGE impulse buyer who would probably throw money at whatever remotely reminded him of Satin. But I also imagine Satin as the type to spend MORE on stuff for Guy.

Just because while he’ll buy anything that holds his attention long enough, she’s more focused on the quality. If it’s expensive, its good. All shit that goes on her boy gotta be designer and she is hellbent on dressin him pretty.

So Satin. Its Satin.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

Guy. Whenever he has a tight schedule, he’s either working or napping cuz damn son hes exhausted. But the thing is, that leaves him with very little time to spend with Satin. So sleeping in her lap is the best he can get.

Meanwhile, my girl has a way better sleep endurance than he does. She can pull off an all-nighter and still seem perfectly composed the next day. Satin’s fuckin incredible.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

who tf u think

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

Guy is often begging Satin to get some sleep. But listen, if she’s in the zone, you cant stop her. Yes, Guy, she’s aware its 2am.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

Neither Satin or Chenille have much experience in cooking. They were pretty spoiled and never had to lift a finger in any kind of housework during their childhood and teenage life. Both of them have had to learn since they moved out but they gotta stick to the basic stuff.

Bless her, Satin’s heart was definitely in the right place. But what she tried to cook was gourmet which she sure as hell was not ready for yet.

Guy’s childhood ran more on a chore wheel kinda thing. He and his siblings had to take turns cooking dinner each week so like he’s a lot more acquainted with it. But is he proud of Satin’s obvious efforts, that’s his girl! You did amazing for your first try!

Tbh he probably tries to eat some of it just to be like “Nonono its fine, we can totally eat this for di-” *Chokes and has to spit it out* “Yeah ok imma make some cookies. You did a good job tho I love you”

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

At a petstore, Guy points at two lizards lying on top of eachother “That one’s me and that one’s you.”

“There’s a fine selection of squeaky toys over here and I'm going to pick one just to whack you with.”

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

I mean Guy wears the clothes Satin MAKES so

I'm sure he’s tried on her actual clothes a couple times tho

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

Satin: “Okay okay, so it was a good day. A really good day. A productive day. Bought the groceries for dinner tonight, made the phone calls, picked up the dry-cleaning, went to the post office, got the car fixed, vacuumed the living room-”

Guy: “Aww baby, that’s great. Hey, where’s Jade?”

Satin: “Where’s who now?”

Guy: “Our 2 year old son? You-you picked him up from day-care, right?”

*Sounds of Satin grabbing her keys and tripping out the front door*

Guy: “.....was that a yes orrrr?”

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

Guy cant read maps so he drives. Also if they have a kid (or theyre babysitting the other kids) Satin’s better at telling them to behave so its better if she’s not behind the wheel.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

Guy poses, Satin draws. Its like part of their whole model/designer dynamic. Duh

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

Guy backflips, Satin has chips

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

After the first article of clothing is removed, Satin is forced to confiscate Guy’s glass.

“Sweetheart, listen. We cant afford to do this again. We cant go back to jail.”

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

They both do ofc

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

Satin did when she was really little but Guy hadn't the foggiest clue why she kept doing in. He just piped up with “That's not your last name, it’s mine, silly!” Then proceeded to tell her what her last name was in case she forgot.

She did start calling herself Satin Diamond a few years before they got married. Like it wasn't his real last name so it didn’t matter much. Plus it sounded classy as hell. You wouldn't wanna fuck with a lady called Satin Diamond.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

Neither of them are huge fans of spiders but as Guy always had to suck it up and take spiders out for his little sister’s sake, he’s a lot more equipped to dealing with it.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

Satin often doesn't wear jackets so if she cold, Guy’s on that shit in an instant

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

They both got a pretty good relationship with eachothers siblings. Guy’s brothers are all lovable nerds in their heart so they adopt Satin immediately

Meanwhile Chenille is like a sister to Guy so like she knows he’ll cherish Satin with all his heart but like. Like a sister. Tell me Chenille hasn't blown her top several time cuz her annoying little brother/her sister’s boyfriend is being a shit again

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

Guy probably. Their relationship kinda develops from friends to occasional flirting to more recurring flirting to constant flirting and like Guy is almost CERTAIN they’re on the same page. Orrrrr flirty might just be a budding aspect of Satin’s personality because hey, it does suit her very well.

Eventually he just gets confused and impatient and blurts out like “HEY ARE WE DOING WHAT WE’RE THINK WE’RE DOING CUZ I LIKE YOU A LOT AND-”

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

Pretty good, considering they weren’t really ready to be parents. The whole nine months was like last minute cramming for a test. They read so many baby books my fuckin god.

But no Satin’s a natural mom. Not as high energy as Poppy and a lot more subdued but still very caring and considerate. She’s calm and logical when helping her kid deal with problems and makes sure he always feel comfortable when talking to her. Jade is REALLY close with his momma.

Also if he gets caught sneaking out at night, he’s shish kabob. But he respects and understands that. His mom is the best person in the world. He just wouldn't dare fuck with her

Guy is also a very devoted father and tends to act as the sillier parent. His relationship with kid can be best described as “Lovingly argumentative.” But no matter, how much he makes fun of his Dad, Jade is probably his biggest fan. He knows the man’s complete filmography by heart and aspires to be an actor too. (Jade cant act for shit but ssssh he’ll change his career choice when he’s older)

But yeah, Guy spent years as his acting coach and tried so hard too because he personally believed his boy could do anything. Turns out he couldn't but ehhh, its the thought that counts. Guy loves Jade to bits and vice versa.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

Neither of them use perfect grammar but Satin is most definitely the number thing. Guy is not.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

I dunno if either of them are the type to get bullied. At least in the case of Satin, she just doesn't take crap. But I guess in the case of Guy, who’s just so unashamedly himself, he might piss off a few other kids with that toxic masculinity mind-set. It probably doesn't happen often but if it ever did, Satin would bite their heads off. She aint here for this bullshit.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

Guy: *puns*

Satin: “You’re doing amazing sweetie” (I imagine death so much, it feels like a memory.)

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

Hear me out. Guy is the impulse buyer, which is why it shocks everyone when Satin is the one to buy the puppy. She was going through an emotional week ok?? Leave her alone

Guy actually has to be the voice of reason here because babe do we have time for a dog idk if we can do this

They end up keeping it and tbh they are TOTALLY the type of people to call themselves the dog’s mommy and daddy. They’re those people fite me

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

Satin doesn't get tired easily but she wears pinchy shoes a lot so Guy gives piggybacks when she needs it

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

I need to tattoo “Guy is Satin’s biggest fan” to my gotdamn forehead

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

Satin. Guy hates candid photos so fuckin much so like nobody has any pictures of him laughing or sleeping or just walking around with no makeup on.

Except for Satin. Satin has like a billion. Guy just doesn't know about them cuz she knows he’d make her delete them.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

I mean Satin DID give Guy a makeover when he asked. You don't think the legendary Guy Diamond look was a one man job, do you? Nah, the twins helped create the icon.

Hell, his first experience with makeup was Satin hiding him the girls bathroom stall when they were like 12 and covering up the acne on his chin after she caught him getting upset over it.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

Look if Satin ever gets a snake, Guy aint gonna be pleased

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

Okay but listen to me. Guy makes a big deal every time his hair gets wet. He hates rain. He hates it so fuckin much.

One time when they were teenagers, they agreed to meet at the other end of town to see a movie. Ofc theres a downpour and Guy’s standing with his umbrella at the bustop, waiting for Satin’s bus to show up. But once she steps out, she looks frazzled af, clearly having not expected the rain.

So its been a long day and Satin is pacing back and forth, unintentionally splashing puddled as she rambles about an unfair detention she received, about Chenille stealing her hairdryer, about her homework not making any sense.

The rain suddenly stops pelting her head and a shadow falls over her frame. She turns around to find him with his arm outstretched and his umbrella looming over her.

Guy blinks, confused as she stares at him in shock, his hair a soaking mess. “What?

And Satin is just internally “Imma marry him. I stg imma marry this loser.”

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

Wherever there’s city lights and rooftop penthouses. Theatres, restaurants and glitzy ballrooms. They live for the night glow. Tbh take them to Paris. Let them dance under the Eiffel Tower at midnight. Tell me that isn't the pinnacle of romanticism.

Also Satin takes the pictures. She’s the better photographer between them. Guy gets too eager and so many of his pics are fuzzy

[samtheflamingomain]

numbers to cry over

As most people in my life and on my Tumblr likely know, I'm an alcoholic.

I've talked about being an addict before, but I'll review briefly: I started getting addicted to weed early 2014 and stopped early 2017. I immediately took up alcohol when I didn't have access to all the free weed I could smoke.

So I've been an alcoholic for about seven months now, and it's only getting worse despite my "best efforts". That's what I want to talk about today.

So what efforts have I taken to try and cut down? Well there's several layers. One is self-esteem and shame. I tried to shame myself into drinking less, and it worked for a while, but it would only make myself feel worse when I would give in and drink.

I also tried logic. I'm running up my credit card, I have things I'm trying to save for, I'm not supposed to drink on my medication. Didn't much help, as logic usually doesn't when it comes to addiction.

I'm young, so I don't really think about the health aspects, so that doesn't work as a deterrent.

I've tried spending more to drink less via going to the bar instead of buying liquor at the store. That just resulted in me spending more to drink more, because I suck at limiting myself. Once I get going it's very hard to stop. Also, I’ve grown to love the bar.

Over time, I've become a regular there, gotten to know the bartenders and cooks and other regulars. My therapist pointed out that going to the bar has a lot to do with the social aspect and how it can almost feel like a sort of family to go in and be recognized and be part of conversations. This explains why I've slowly been drifting toward the bar more so than drinking alone at home.

Drink at home? Not as much fun, but cheaper for more beer. Drink at the bar? Fun, but more expensive for less.

Now we reach my final attempt, which, for some reason, just occurred to me today: I am obsessed with money. I make very little and spend a lot. And after having to put over 1200$ on my credit card for my cat's surgery, that obsession has only grown more and more pressing as I head towards maxing my card out.

So I said, I said, "Sam, your main concern surrounding drinking is how expensive it is. Why not use that to help cut down?" So I pulled up my bank and credit statements from the last few months and added up all the money I spent on alcohol. I thought I had a decent idea of what those numbers would look like.

They were more than double my estimates. I'm so ashamed of how high the numbers are that I can't even bring myself to type them out. I spent a good five minutes in tears.

I used to try rationing my drinking days. My goal has always been 3-4 days a week, but I almost always end up at 5-6, 5 on a good week.

But I've been doing it wrong. I need to ration my drinking money. I think of everything else in terms of money, so it's odd that it took me so long to realize that this is the best shot to help me. Starting October 1st, I'm going to take out $100 a week to spend on alcohol. (Yes, that is a lot. Yes, it's also significantly less than I currently spend. Yes, that's very sad.)

I imagine the first few weeks will be hell. When I go to the bar, I know that, if I want to get even remotely drunk, I'm spending $25. A 6-pack of beer is $12. That means I can try for 4 days at the bar or 7 days drinking at home. Currently, I find myself doing 5 nights at the bar and one at home.

Not sure how I'll end up rationing that $100, but there's a lot that'll have to change. For example, I despise cooking, and any perishable food I buy almost always goes to waste, so I don't buy it. I only eat once a day or so, and if I don't have leftover pizza in the fridge, that usually means eating at the bar. Which is expensive.

So I'll have to start cooking again, only going to the bar when I'm full. I probably won't be busting out homecooked gourmet meals but soups and ramens. But it'll be a start.

Then I'll also have to start paying more attention to how much I spend at the bar on a given night. It could be anywhere from $15 to $45. It'll take a bit of teaching myself to think about the rest of the week so I don't spend all my booze money by Tuesday.

I don't know if it'll work, but this is the last stop on my idea train. I've tried all the tricks and they just don't seem to work for me. I truly believe I was looking at it the wrong way because of how I am, and that this will be a better idea, but whether it works in practice will remain to be seen.

My last hope will be rehab, which, if October turns into another September or August, I will give into. I've been putting it off because of work and dread, but it's always been in the back of my mind.

I have an appointment to be approved for top surgery on Tuesday, and my American boyfriend is coming to visit at the end of the month, but once those things are over, I'll have no more excuses. I have to convince the doctor approving me that I'm stable enough, and that means staying out of the hospital/rehab - another reason I’ve been putting it off. But after they approve me, they can't take it back, and then I can go to rehab without worrying about it affecting my surgery approval.

Come November, if I'm still this bad, my credit card will be close to maxed. I'll have no other choice.

Anyway, that's it for now. Wish me luck this October, for I know I'll desperately need it.

Stay Greater, Flamingos