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#my migrane from yesterday was bad enough to fuck up my tummy so it seems like its doing better
gayboybeetle
·
1 year
Text
my fire alarm ran out of battery and went off in the middle of the night, so im about to go to my post-op appointment with two hours of sleep and a migrane being like. yes i am so normal, tell me how normal i am, for the love of god
#my me hurts. emotionally but also so physically
#i haven't had my antidepressants in a week !!! for the love of god feed me
#i know the appointment is in four hours. but thats basically the same as four minutes i cant do anything
#my antidepressants are also my anti-anxieties so im a little bit strained
#and i just remembered they also help me sleep better. that explains some things
#i honestly dont know if i ran out of them or lost them. so thats cool
#and ive been taking them on and off for the past few weeks bc i dont have structure in my life until thursday
#which is when im off med leave and i go back to sensory hell
#i really need a new job methinks
#anyway yeah my brain is trying to suffocate me i think
#qnd all i can think about are the new anti trans laws being passed
#bc im like. i hope i dont have to move to canada. i dont know shit about fuck over there
#ive never even been
#but hey worst case i can like. maybe crash on my friends couch
#i have two (2) people who would prolly let me do that. one lives a bit farther out tho
#anyway! i live in a blue state so im probably fine. but i can feel my heartbeat and hear birds. so you can imagine the stress im under
#i got 2 hours of sleep and then 12 hours of sleep and then 2 hours of sleep in the last three days so im completely wrecked fucked rn
#i did find an elk ribcage a couple days ago and i took a couple ribs so thats giving me chemicals in my brain rn
#whoagh. my tummy rumbled. i forgot it can do that
#my migrane from yesterday was bad enough to fuck up my tummy so it seems like its doing better
#although i just remembered i had to do breathing exercises for it 20 min ago so i take that back actually
#mmm i bet i can convince my wife to go to starbucks with me and buy an overpriced croissant..... mmmmmmmmm
#i am going to surprise my wife in an hour by giving him so many kisses when he wakes up
#he'll probably be concerned but i will be happie!! habby!!!! hooray!!!!!!!
#yknow maybe i can go to sleep. i mean. if i can forget about what this post was originally about i can forget about whats making me anxious
#ah fuck wait i remembered. damn
#nah its ok ill forget it in a ittle bit
#i hope the nurse looks at me and goes yep youre so normal and gives me a little kiss on the head. and a lollipop
#i hope its the same nurse that gave me anesthesia she was very nice to me
#milo.txt
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