#bc im like. i hope i dont have to move to canada. i dont know shit about fuck over there

[gayboybeetle]

my fire alarm ran out of battery and went off in the middle of the night, so im about to go to my post-op appointment with two hours of sleep and a migrane being like. yes i am so normal, tell me how normal i am, for the love of god

[fearowkenya]

it's the time of year where I feel very like...boxed in??? okay hold on

so like everyone else who has adhd mine has its own exclusive flavor and weirdness that manifests itself in its own Cute And Quirky Teehee ways that arent universal to everyone w adhd. mine specifically makes it so that the amount of energy / willpower i have to put effort into literally anything is directly proportionate to how much light there is outside. it doesnt have to be SUNNY , just naturally bright.

anyway as you may or may not know im up in canada where it is currently 4:41PM and is nearly dark, and will continue to get darker earlier and earlier until like three quarters through december. so already , not great for me and my fuckign plant-life-wannabe of a brain .

to compound this, i also slow down when it’s cold. that part is normal i think. its not uncommon to want to swaddle yourself in a nest of blankets when temperatures start to drop esp if its like -40 but it DOES make moving around a little more challenging. so like not only do i have to put in the effort to like, do each step of whatever task or activity i am attempting to do, but i also have to pry myself out of Soft Warm Bed which becomes an additional step in making aforementioned whatever the fuck happen. and if u are at all familiar w adhd you know that when the step count gets too high your odds of doing anything other than staring at a wall get slimmer and slimmer unless youve got a damn good workaround for your own brand of brain nonsense

im also one of those ppl who constantly has cold hands , so stuff that requires fine motor skills like art can be tough to start working on when my fingers have the mobility of two fistfuls of freezies.

ive gotten fairly good at finding ways to do things that accommodate my adhd but once winter hits thats when i get boxed in. it’s dark out early, so getting anything done after sunset is like wading thru sludge. then the sludge fucking freezes solid because its cold out, and even if by some miracle im able to like idk draw, my hands feel stiff bc of the cold and makes everything harder. so its like this uphill battle to do fucking Anything when im a sludgecicle. its way easier to do Nothing instead of trying to fight my way out, like the amount of effort it takes is SO frustrating.

‘hey idiot have you tried turning the heater on’ yeah dude i know but i still gotta get outta bed and wait for my fingers to not feel like a bunch of frozen baby carrots before anything gets done, and jsut the thought of that when im nice n warm in blankets is an enormous deterrent and it fucking sucks!!

im super fed up w that happening to me every damn winter so i guess i’ll start to work on throwing together some kinda coping mechanism and hope smth sticks.

since i moved my furniture a while back, my heater is right next to my desk so at least i’ll warm up faster when it starts to be like minus a billion degrees. i have no fucking clue what i am going to do about the uhh (checks notes) reliance that my brain has on the literal actual sun. i have one of those sun lamps that i suppose i can try to use more often?? idk if thats going to trick my brain into thinking it’s actually bright outside so stay tuned i guess. or dont im not your dad

[cervelli]

hey moose here are some things that’ve happened in my life recently/things ive been thinking about that i thought u needed to know:

- i think that anybody who enjoys the taste of cucumbers after eating chicken is a psychopath because genuinely there is nothing that tastes worse like separately i love cucumbers and i love chicken very very much but i cant ever combine them bc when i do it tastes like stinky socks 0/10 do not recommend

- i started watching breaking bad with my brother we’re having a lot of fun with it we’re almost done the first season and idt ive given any of these episodes less than 5 stars so far it is Hitting

- ive read 10 books in january! which idk if thats a lot for others but it’s big for me bc ive been in a foul reading mood for like the last three years and i fr only read like 30 books!! but im back babyy anyways of those ten eight have unfortunately been my porn books as sabs likes to call them but im having tons of fun so who caaaares

- starting second sem of senior year 😱 i fr died first sem like i think that was one of the lowest points of my life if not mentally then definitely academically i just could not bring myself to care!!!! which means theres even more pressure this sem esp cause i have six diplomas to write and thats scarrrrrrrryyyyyyy

- i started reading more philosophy? specifically ive been reading pluto’s works theyve basically given me headaches (but good headaches?)

- i really wanna own more like dresses but idk where i shld get them and also i dont really know what type i wanna get? like ik im gonna need fancy dresses for grad banquet (which is basically? prom? in canada? at least i think) but i want more casual dresses???

- i was talking to one of my best friends today and have decided i have a spending problem so now im on a spending hiatus until next tuesday but this is unfortunate timing bc im supposed to get a locker for me sabs ria tmrw 💀

- its super late and i shld be asleep but its finally clicked that a new semester is starting i have a headache im abt to get my period and i got woken up by my led strips fricking peeling off my wall so thats something i have to deal with

- also i moved?? like in november but i gen dk if i told u cause we havent really talked in a while do u want a room tourrrrr my visions hasnt been finished yet but im getting there!!!

- theres more but im gonna sleep 😴 ttyl ✌️

i read this months ago but i appreciate the update i hope things are going well!!!!

chicken and cucumbers is vile

hows breaking bad

[momiamtired]

chapter 2 so they think im cringe. i will never be able to see my friends bc i will be able to leve canada onlt after 4 years bc of this stupid and random biometrics shit and i had only chance of meeting them this summer but now its all pointless bc of a random canada government decision. i want to pee so bad and this stupid american bitch is washing her ass for 2348493 hours with stupid pop childish music in the background gosh. i lost 700 dollars recently idk where or how i genuanly dont know its prob my roommate but im not sure so basically yeah and im reallt sensitive about losing money so yesterday was a fun day to me. my stupid mind is doing some crazy shit and tries to convince me to believe in karma or god idk basically its if i will think that everything will be bad then everything will be good but i should genuanly believe it all will be bad and i just go back n forth with this idea always going on on my minds. i have a couple of different templates of how this world from my mind' perspective works but im too tired to think ab it. ig every time i think that its just what it is its just how wolrd is and nobody is giving me a happy time after all of this is over as my mind always tries to constantly tell me i guess its just too painful for me. i want to believe that i will be happy in a short time. i want too. but every day i wake up and some awful shit happens to me. its awful to be extraverted and i dont have friends here. i hate this fucking bitch PLEASE leve i want to use toilet wtf is wrong with u. pleeeeaseee im all sweaty npw bc of how i want to pee. i noticed that they wash themselves so rarely here. idk why my roommate smells just awful and she is 22 and she never washes herself so at night when i have troubles sleeping i also need to smell her beatiful aromas and im gonna be silent ab her mouth like she never washes her teeth how can u have so many man and smell so awful and be so nasty. anyways i dont reallt know what to do? i lost my motivation to even live( but not to eatt i will never lose it i have ed) i just dont want to do anything to see anything to feel anything i just want to die and be reborn. i dont believe in reincarnation but being able to not feel anything is better than living how i live now. i never cry but i cry here really often. like a couple of times per weak? i never cry literally never. that bc my coping mechanism is trying to find a decision and i will fucking find this decision even if im gonna die but rn there is no decision there is nothing there is just finnish studying than good luck to being lucky for finding a place to live and a job and if u wont find a placce to stay u will have to sleep on a bed with a roommate who washes herself once per weak and stole ur only money. and even now my mind is trying to say to me that i will be fine and the situation will be better! but fuck u it wont be better and i know it because there is no fucking hope left here there is literallt nothing left no fucking move will make it better NOTHING will make it better. im a fucking psychology major wtf is wrong with me. i just cant believe how cruel the life is and how awful it is and how i just couldnt ever think it could get that bad. its just all of my failures they are so random and its not even my fault in any of those! and as i told u my mind again tries justify everything that is happening to me like no just think ab it!! no way it can be this awful right? no way this all could happen to u just like this and without a happy ending! yes it can and yes it happened and im tired of expecting something good to happen to me i just want to die pls why do i have parennts it would be so much easier. i would love to leave this hell and so study to europe but we already spent SO much money on only this first semester so i cant even imagine how can i justify going back home in my head, in front of my relatives. i hate myself

[abcdosaka]

life update again

since its been a week

mental state: i'm doing well. i have some worries but it feels good to have productive worries if that makes sense. like exciting worries. and i feel much more focused prob bc i went out and also worked out a lot today and like i've sorta started getting my life on track

work:

i don't wanna write too much about this job in particular. i honestly think i got it but i dont wanna disappoint myself and read back these posts and be like fuckkk but they're literally paying for my hotel (but not my flight cry) so i can visit the office in mid-sept like it really feels like they want me BAD and ngl i want them too. and they told me during the call my skills are very attractive + there's a lot of networking opportunities in the province basically and i think this job is most relevant to anything i wanna do in the future. anyway we'll see

stuff i gotta do:

kinda started on apt hunting. i can afford a deposit and some furniture but the move will prob deplete my entire savings so i hope i start working by beginning of oct. i also will have to start paying back student loans by end of nov. it seems like they haven't started adding interest yet but i have a big debt lmao

and i will need to lease a car if/once i end up moving. ive written abt my experience w cars before but im pretty used to driving now. i still need to practice highway driving SAD :( but i know i can get used to it. if i can try driving on the highways here (worst drivers in canada) then there's no way i'd fear the highways over there. i've also never bought or leased a car before but i figure leasing is best bc i have decent credit and i want a newer car so it will have a backup camera

i also want to work out properly. i've been going swimming about once a week for the past while but i need to up my cardio and strength so i went to the gym downstairs for the first time to use the machines. i prefer free weights which was my excuse for not going but tbh they work for me since i'm pretty weak rn & its better than nothing. it makes me feel worse to sit around all day. i should also start my stretching routine again

i also need to learn python before i start working lmao

other stuff:

im ngl social life is kinda dead but thats all on me for being a hermit and i still cant really bring myself to care rn. maybe ill call e or n on the weekend and set up plans with sp

[sungbeam]

I’M BACKKKK only to see Changmin??? Smth fishy is going awn 🤨🤨/j

No but omg you took the words out of my mouth THE OBJECTIFICATION OF MYSELF AND MY OWN INSECURITIES HAS ME LOOKING AT MYSELF WITH A PROVERBIAL CAMERA AT NEAR ALL TIMES WITH DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES TOO AS IF I WAS PLAYING FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S WITH MYSELF MOVING FROM ANGLE TO ANGLE EINFITNUND

Also omg what do you feel abt the new album?? I love Delicious with my whole being 😭 BUT LIP SYNC AND DOOR HAVE A HOLD ON MY SANITY LIKE PHEW I HAVE LISTENED TO THEM AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT OF TIMES ESP CAUSE THE VOCALS IN DOOR GO CRAZYYYYYYYY Sunwoo esp omg lord have mercy on my soul-

AND JACOB’S COVER OF CEILINGS- REAHHHHHHHHH 👹👹👹👹 I actually astral projected (esp since I was thinking of basing my first fic off of it for a bit now 😳)

Btw this might be random but for love in unity, do any of them have jobs? 😭 I KNOW THATS A WEIRD THING TO ASK BUT I ALWAYS WONDER HOW PPL MAKE MONEY TO PAY FOR GROCERIES AND STUFF WHEN I’M WATCHING TV SHOWS CAUSE IT’S LIKE, MAN, I NEVER SEE YOU LEAVE CAMPUS, OR YOUR HOUSE SO HOW CAN YOU PAY FOR GROCERIES OR RENT IN THIS ECONOMY 😭

Just a silly question lol and if they don’t have jobs, what job do you think they’d have? 🧐 Personally, I feel like Changmin would work at a Target KEHKFHKE he’s just giving those vibes yk? Chanhee gives off retail vibes fs while Sangyeon is giving home depot OH AND ERIC WOULD BE WORKING AT ONE OF THE HOTDOG STANDS THATS ALWAYS OUTSIDE THEM 💀😭 Canada bros would suit the library methinks, they would def be the type to work with kids in the summer programs or would help tutor 😌 I could also see Kevin working at a pet shop or a barista? 🧐 Haknyeon also gives off barista vibes though especially with his fluffy hair these days 😭🫶

Ok that’s enough for my little ramble this week LOLOL happy to see that you finally embraced your Changmin love 🤭 hope you have an amazing rest of your week! :D

(Also if you have any poetry recs then lmk hehe)

- Always and forever, love, 🌷 anon

he won 😔 i wanted out of the basement 😔 and this was the only compromise 😔 im sorry jacob i repent 😔 for my sins 😔

PLS NOT THE FNAF AHAHAHHAHAH BC SAME 🤡🤡🤡 ME FROM MY PROVERBIAL SECURITY ROOM QATCHING MYSELF AND YELLING DONT GO IN THERE U DUMB BITXH

omg honestly i absolutely love love love lip sync, eyes on me, and door like KWNFKSJDK R U SKIFIEBF KIDDING ME??!))<_] HEY . WHAT ABTNE MEU SANITY. HUH???? MY MIND IS NOT ANTIFRAGILE . it's doing things to me omg like i thought the simpery was bad before, but now 🤡🤣 oh boy 🤣🤡 also LOVE THAT FOR JACOB KING SHIT I LOVE ALL THE COVERS HE GETS TO POST CUZ YESSIR THATS MY HUSBAND 😭😭😭😭😭 (chxngmxn pay attention, u ARE THE SIDE HOE don't hurt me) OMG???? UR FIRST FIC???? HELLO HMU ONCE/IF U DO I'D LOVE TO SUPPORT U SKFJEOFJK unless ur uncomfy or shy tho i totally get it 🤧🤧 !!!

HELP ME 💀💀💀 I FORGOT THAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE JOBS LMFAOOOO the only one who has a canonical job rn out of the boyz is jacob BAHAHAHHAH STOP. CHANGMIN AT TARGET AJZBDIDJFODJF THATS SO FKN FUNNY HELPMEBDKSNFKJD I AM NEVER LETTING THAT GO AND HELLO???? UR RELEGATING SANGYEON TO HOME DEPOT AHAHHAHAHAHAYYA KDNFKSJFJ IM SCREECHING WHE EZING YELLIGN ERIC AT THE HOT DOG STAND I— 💀😭 pls there r tears falling down my cheeks rn this is hilarious. low-key i think kev could make money via freelance photography and being an ✨influencer✨, and maybe get eric to coach little league baseball LMAO sangyeons prob making big boy money, and haknyeon will prob find SOME restaurant to work at tbh (i can't believe i forgot to give them canonical jobs 💀 i m never letting go of target worker changmin pls that is so funny) omg WAIT haknyeon working at the target starbucks in the same target as changmin 💀💀💀 IMAGINE TBZ!TARGET WORKERS ALCMLSMFKDJF IM CRYING

i did not embrace my love for him 😔😭🤧 I AM BEING HELD HOSTAGE, GASLIT GATEKEPT AND GIRLBOSSED BY A SQUIRRWL A TREE RAT A PLANT RODENT—

ANYWAYS HOPE UR WELL 🌷!! 💖 loved seeing u in my inbox as always :') mWAH

[crowsent]

so i started watching kings avatar pt. 2: spoiler edition electric boogaloo

condensed reaction from all episodes but first things first:

i already waxed poetic about the characters and set design of kings avatar in my first post so ill get to the point here:

lowkey thought that the excellent eras logo was the flag of fucking canada for a hot second there i mean

fucking seriously????????????

but enough about discount canada look at this man

look at him

“im very mad” said with a smile

i fucking love him

..

i fucking hate episode 2 timestamp 7 minutes tho

not posting any pictures but

the spiders

so creepy

with the scuttle scuttle sound

ew

no

i know the game has good sound design but was realistic spider animation/sound really necessary???

..

someone who can gif please please please gif that moment where excellent era announces ye qius retirement please. like. the fancy weapon twirls, the fire, the snow, the leaves. that moment was so fucking beautiful

..

xiao tang is uhhhhh so cool?????? what the fuck???? beating players in a game she doesnt play purely off of hand speed and apm???? and then joining that same game to beat ye xiu someday?????? amazing. 10/10

..

i am gaining more understanding of this man as i watch this silly lil anime what the fuck

..

real talk tho

i want glory to be a real game

the mechanics are interesting, the class systems seem p balanced, and there are plenty of in-game systems to take advantage of

would be nice to actually physically play it tbh

..

“the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment”

..

lowkey tho why is steamed bun out here trying to guess everyones sign, trying to get everyone else to guess his sign, trying to attribute everything to signs... bro you aint in fucking homestuck. i see no fucking grey skin or orange horns on you. chill the fuck out and stop trying to astrologise everything

..

mucheng is precious. id kill for her. her devotion. her dedication.

..

i need the plantago seed duel as a separate video. it is immaculate.

the rolling camera pan, the fast strikes, the colours, the music

so good

..

who is this man

“the brawlers style, to put it nicely, is “free-willed”

honestly, its a complete mess”

what a legend

AND he figured out ye xius true identity just from playing one match w him. can i ask for more? i think not

..

..

thank you to the animators that made the ye xiu v jiexi look so goddamn good. the fury and panic that went into the animation of their fight, frantically clicking the keyboard, moving the mouse around, that fire effect where the floor cracks? godtier

amazing

..

lowkey why does steamed bun irl look like that????

..

“the brain is a useful thing, make sure to bring yours next time”

bruh just fucking murder the man why dont you

..

the man aint really subtle tho

..

“lord of analysis”

bruh

you got fucking exposed

“why dont your footsteps make any sound”

yo why is the character design so good???????

this is unfair

every character so far is unique and has good design

this is unfair

..

can the translators fucking

TRANSLATE

i cant read chinese

and there is no way on gods green earth am i going to call my father for every time the translators dont translate the text on screen bc then he might as well just watch the anime with me

its right fucking there man

translate this shit

..

so mr tactician over here said that the upper limit for unspecialised is lvl 95 but methinks that mr ye xiu is gonna find a way to overcome this

..

does

does GLORY have proximity chat or are these morons ‘shhh’ing each other bc they are THAT dedicated to roleplay

..

shaotian

shaotian shaotian shaotian

i love you

fucking chaotic chatterbox bastard

this motherfucker tripped on his goddamn feet and ye xiu IMMEDIATELY made fun of him

can you believe

i want what they have

i want that friendship motherfucker

amazing

“huang shao’s trash talk is magnificent”

and this fucker got everyone convinced he isnt huang shaotian purely bc of his ability to annoy other people and his dedication to keeping his identity a secret

can i ask for more?

i think not

look at this

i want their fucking friendship man

this motherfucker is fucking talking so goddamn fast

what the fuck

“who is chanting prayers?”

BOI you have no goddamn room to speak with this speech bubble wall youve made

“where did you find this clown?”

AND YE XIU CALLED YOU OUT BOI ye xiu straight said “what gave you the right to call someone else a clown” and he is CORRECT

..

okay i know for a hot second i keeep talking about shaotian but like

ye xiu easily slotted back into my favourites list bc this motherfucker is talking to the customers of the internet cafe WHILE HES PLAYING THE FUCKING GAME like

the big dick energy

yes he goddamn is boys and what the fuck are you gonna do about it? thats right. NOTHING. bc hes just that good at the game

..

MUCHENG CARRY

MUCHENG CARRY

MUCHENG CARRY

trap these motherfuckers girl

FUCKING CORNER THEM

CARRY CARRY CARRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

..

so

ye xiu really just ambushing the people who wanted to kill him by waiting outside the dungeons and then killing the players and then he even has the audacity to say “hi”

fucking big dick energy king right her folks

..

"as for that ghostblade,

shaotian with the fucking callouts

..

GET YOU A GUY BITCH

GET YOU A MAN WHO CAN BE THIS FUCKING CONSIDERATE

“mu mu”

mucheng carried and now ye xiu fucking protecting her identity

WE STAN

..

“every opponents weakness... i remember all of them”

my understanding of this man...

..

bro why the fuck does vice captain zhang eat so fucking SLOW

..

so vice captain zhang plays an mmo like a fucking game of chess i see

..

bruhhhhhhhhhhhh

the desert dust v one autumn leaf fight

bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the skill

the mastery

the animation

the SONG

THE SONG

YALL THE FUCKING SONG THAT PLAYED DURING THE DUEL

..

[transgaysex]

actually i have some thoughts. but im putting them under a cut bc idk how to feel abt them.

since my grandmother passed away monday night ive been talking to my gay cousin and my siblings and just reflecting on some stuff and im a bit lost on how to feel.

my gay cousin as well as a few other cousins of mine have had some. thoughts that i guess is their way to experience grief and ive just been upset at them a bit. and im not sure how to feel about it because maybe its the way ive been trying to aim my mentality in general in a more positive direction but im still ! upset ! at what theyve been saying !! like i know people can feel anger with grief (and considering i dont let myself feel anger maybe thats why i dont get it) but i still think theyve. been really mean.

like i understand. i loved my grandma dearly. she raised me until i was 4 and moved to canada and she and my grandpa have protected me and loved me the way i wish my parents did, and im very upset that she passed. im very much so devastated and heartbroken and its taking me everything i have not to cry right now but. that doesnt excuse putting hateful messages on ur facebook page blaming your parents and uncles for your grandmothers death. which is what my cousins have been doing. and it makes me so angry. my own father, even when he didnt have covid anymore, risked getting infected again just to go and take care of my grandma in her last moments. as much as i detest my aunt V with my whole being, she also traveled to Peru in order to take care of my grandma for the nearly 6 months she would spend there. its cruel to try to pin my grandmas death on them when theyve done their best to help her get better and did everything they could to accompany her last moments and let her not die lonely. my cousins love talking big shit but what did they do ? being there, in peru, living minutes away from my grandma and completely capable of going to visit her, why didnt they ? why do they have the audacity to say that those who tried their best to save her made it worse, or that they did nothing at all ??

who are they helping feel better by saying cruel words like these ? do they even feel better themselves saying that ?

i dont know. i really just dont understand. i know i dont feel emotions normally because im just fucking ill or whatever but this whole time i havent found it in me to be angry. and i know im no better than my cousins. but i just. i just hope they can heal soon.

[chamelis]

tagged by my fave @tidalstorm to answer these questions!! thank youuu ily 💓💖💞💓

~~~

relationships: never been in any!! i always wanted to wait until i turned 18 for some reason. not necessarily looking for one rn unless i meet someone nice :>

break-ups: also none, obviously

kids: erm.. I may be legal but i still see myself as one (im 18 lmfao). and if ur asking about my own... i love kids but i really dont know if I'll ever have any tbh!

brothers and sisters: i have one older brother! he's ok.

pets: none but i would love to have a smol cat or dog when i eventually live alone, after studies. so in 3 or more years!! let's hope i can move somewhere pet friendly.

surgeries: hmm.. i had a little eye operation when i was 5 bc i had a squint eye and double vision (and still do). i think that's all!

tattoos: none! if i ever get one itll just be for fun. maybe a sunflower line drawing somewhere.

countries I've been to: quite a few, im lucky to say!! let's see... uk (home), india, malaysia, australia, the netherlands, france, spain, egypt, usa, canada. i mightve missed one idk

update: i missed belgium. rip

been in an airplane: yep

been in an ambulance: nope

i sing karaoke: not often but I'd like to!! itd be fun.

ice skating: never been! sounds fun but i would probably fall over lots lol

been on a cruise: yep

driven a motorcycle: nope

ridden a horse: yes

stayed in a hospital: not for long, i dont think so

favourite fruit or berry: strawbs!! and kiwi. and grapefruit. also peaches and plums!!

favourite colour: yellow :) like a warm toned mustard shade.

last text: a thank you message to my old violin teacher!! she is the sweetest. she was congratulating and well-wishing me for getting into uni :>

coffee or tea: i love both but i drink more coffee!!

favourite pie: erm i dont eat it at all really, so idk

favourite pizza: olives, peppers, jalapenõs or fresh green chillies, sweetcorn and feta cheese if it's available! with tomato sauce and mozzarella ofc :>

cat or dog: i like both but i would choose cats in terms of a pet for myself, and dogs in terms of what i enjoy hanging out with. dogs r fun but i guess a little more high maintenance from what I've seen?

favourite time of year: call me selfish but april, aka my birth month. i like it bc it starts to get warmer and i get that excitement for summer (my fav season!!). but somehow, the anticipation of summer is always more fun than summer itself, bc where i live, there are too many rainy days :(

met a star: erm yes. i guess. does ross lynch count as a star?

flown a helicopter: no

been on TV: yes

broken my leg: no but ive sprained my ankles like 4 times

seen a ghost: no

been sick in a taxi: no

~~~

tagging: @queenoats @inasdiary @muchomango @seoulhite and anyone else interested. only if u wanna!!💓💓

[icreaterainbows]

so i just had a courier guy came by to deliver a 4 weeks notice from work. that’s how my day is going in case you were wondering. 

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”

[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17) (18) 

L: I May Have Lost Roman

V: nice

P: not nice :)

V: i feel vaguely threatened

Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details

L:I don’t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious

L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri

V: why is he there

L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?

V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension

Rem: that’s pretty fair

P: it really is tbh

V: Send. Pictures.

L: Okay L: Slight Issue

V: you lost the snake too

L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling

Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking

L:...Where? The bathroom?

Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)

V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy

L: Alright time to find them

Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))

L: Remy.

Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop

L: Thank you.

V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company

L:Huh L:Found them

L: Roman….found a katanna…

V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword

Rem: drop the location of that store man

L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it

L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned

V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword

L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one

V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.

L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman

Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)

---

“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.

Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.

Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.

“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”

Oh.

Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.

It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.

“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.

“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.

“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”

“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.

Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”

Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.

His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--

“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.

She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—

He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.

He felt sick.

---

R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF

L: Roman?

R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???

L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?

R: why are YOU up mm????

L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?

R: well fuck got me there

R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep

L: Any particular reason?

R: u m

L: Private chat?

R: please

- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]

TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot

Cowboy:it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it

Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it

TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind

Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us

TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?

Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it

Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy

Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!

Cowboy: when i fuck up i

Cowboy: god it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.

TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.

Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman

Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes

TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away

Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows

Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool

Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????

Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???

Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know

TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics

Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??

TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.

Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page

TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?

Cowboy: i think so

TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you

Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue

TheWalkinMouth: Wait

Cowboy: nothing nothing continue

TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.

TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans

TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner

TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out

TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.

TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.

TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

[...Cowboy is typing…]

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[me-evil-never]

bloop, cuddly, daisies, love, hunnybunch, euphoric, precious, roses, shine, tootsie, sweet, sprinkles sorryyy these are a lott

These give me smth to do thanks bby blue~

Bloop- what’s your spirit animal?

a cat probably,, kinda lazy and loves naps, either graceful or a mess and likes petting but on own terms and may throw hissy fits if i dont get my way xD

Cuddly- what’s your favourite time period?

late at night when there’s light wind and it’s quiet outside and i can sit on my balcony and just watch the world

Daisies- what’s a moment when you felt free?

again, sitting on my balcony late at night, or when im home alone and i can put music on without earphones and just dance

love- what’s your favourite season? why?

winter here, bc the weather is cool and occasionally rainy but not too much always and there’s a nice chilly wind and i get to wear hoodies and it’s just really nice and cool outside but inside it’s all warm and i get to be covered by many blankets

hunnybunch- what are sounds that help you sleep?

hmmm,, i dont really know… maybe driving in a car? i discovered that taeyeon’s songs (especially love in colour and 11:11) are really calming and make me sleep easier

euphoric- talk about someone you love

ahhh, i love a lot of people!! but since you asked i’ll talk about you~ you are one of the most precious ppl to me, and i feel like i’ve known you forever bby blue. i know you’ll always be there to make me smile and keep me company and that i can talk to you about anything (i hope you know the same goes for you). you are so talented and smart. you’re incredibly caring and sweet and hilarious. im so grateful i took a chance and started talking (screaming) to you and we got so close so quickly. you really are a gift.

precious- what is something valuable you learned in your life?

the thing that was most important to you will not be that forever. better things almost always come along. and no matter how long it may take, you will find your place and your happiness

roses- most significant event in your life so far?

moving back to israel after 4 years in canada and finding my place again

shine- art or music?

both~ they’re healing and calming in different ways,,

tootsie- what kind of friend are you?

i like to think a good one, but idk. i dont think im so good at comforting or reading social situations (but ive been told i am). im the sassy sarcastic friend, but i also care a lot and try to always be there for my friends, even if it includes paying for them or staying on the phone with them for 2 hrs when i hate talking on the phone…

sweet- do you find it easy to open up?

maybe?? im kinda anxious but also not so i ramble and talk a lot occasionally but then also not say anything. i have a tendency to joke about my feelings and pretend theyre not a big deal so maybe not? on the other hand i dont really hide stuff, if u ask me something i will most likely answer (but it may be a jokey answer rather than a serious one,,)

sprinkles- music with earphone or without?

i dont trust my taste in music, and i dont like to let other ppl to listen to my playlists so i listen to everything with earphones, but occasionally when im home alone ill put on music with no earphones and just dance~

ok wow. that took thinking,, it was fun tho thanks bby @fangirlingandprocrastinating sorry it took so long ;-;

[unclejuho]

🚨 Weewoo weewoo 🚨 You've been held back by the love police! 👮 Say something nice to 10 of your mutuals and pass the message around 👮 Let's spread love not hate ❣️

ooaabhjdbhj this took me so long to answer but here i go!!! im late!!! and im repetitive!! but all these people make my heart go u*u

@jaevoon  ((((her name is liz?????))

liz,,, you were like the solid first person i came to talk to on tumblr bc of your stupid lizard youngbin ask n then made the greatest decision to watch about time with the squad. i love your loyalness to jaeyoon, your even more loyalness to doyoung and your tags that always make me angery wheeze. and uh. i guess youre actually most loyal to yoelin, h u h. your soft huevos tag says it all. and i love your personal blog

@rowoonst

moving on to my next target, dear miss dawONSt,,,, i cant compliment you the same as liz bc loyalness, dont know her. im actually surprised roro is your icon. guess you really love seafood huh ;))) i love your face and your love for all your mans. like.. your obsession with shownu sim is still my favorite thing about you, but recently i havent had the pleasure of seeing him in the chat,,, hmmm,,, maybe you and liz should do your next spam with shownu sim.

@cheondae

louise im feel like i always say this but youre lowkey my absolute favest blog on this entire flop site… i know we dont rlly talk but dbhjbhbh youre such a dear mutual to me???? like you just make my dash the best it can be and ugh. i love your love for sf9 so much its so cute and so pure and god youre so funny and also. french??????  je aime a french bitch!!!! anyway yea you make me soft and i just highkey always wish to remain mutuals bc when we do talk its so much fun and you always make me smile so much  ♡♡♡

@sunnpils

SAMMMMM UGH… my sweetest???? my loveliest?????? i just have a soft heart attack whenever youre online in the chat bc like. i love talking to you ashhjsbhs honestly??? youre so easy to converse with it feels lovelie. youre so cute and your gifs are!!!! so good!!! and so much goals!!! honestly you deserve to be the top tier blog out of all the rose, day6 and got7 blogs if youre already not!!!! i love you sam!!!

@rapperravioli

LARA SO I KNOW WE HAVENT TALKED IN A WHILE EITHER which is all bc of my dramatic switch of blog styles but i love you so much and asdbbhsj youre my favorite ravi stan ever???? who honestly deserves HIM so much??? if not you deserve more which… how is that even possible tbh… but omg youre always so cute and so nice to me nnn,, even though lettuce is your favorite food (ill never forget it im sorry i just)) youre one of my favorite people on this stupid site abhabhsh. honestly i hope you do get to see ravi bc i havent asked you yet bc if you dont i may actually cry… your instagram is also so PRETTY LIKE i get a heart attack whenever i see you on there i sometimes forget youre a 100/100 goddess like… i love you so much

@baektoyoo

OUR QUEEN OF TALENT??? OF DRAWING??? OF BEING SOFT AND JUST????? BEING so amazingly sweet im??? bawling???? ugh im still smad we couldnt meet up when you were in holland like.. i need me to go to canada asap… ugh i love how nice you always are to everyone plus,,, your cartoon drawings… im actually obsessed.. i cant believe youre actually gonna make me a juwoon one someday too… sO NICE.. and like i just love you so much asdbhahbsbh youre always so sweet and you just make my day when i see you on my dash its actually a bit embarrassing but shhhh… i also love sassy soph that we so rarely get to see ;))))

@hwiyyoung

another QUEEN??? just (hwiyoungs) queen of general being the most amazing??? oof em i have so much respect to you and everything you do like. your gifs are so amazing and youre overall so nice to everyone and just. whenever you rb a post of mine and compliment smth i do i just get giggly and proud and ugh you make me so happy!! plus youre so cute and asdbhjhb i love talking to you… also your selfie tag gives me butterflies hows the aesthetic like that. do you remember when we all trolled you as ems 8)

@javajaeyoon

ALE??? MY SWEET ALE WILL YOU ACTUALLY SEE THIS??? omg alex honestly the first thing i think of is us voice calling and just. shbjhadhbj talking to you is so much fun ugh… im smad we havent talked in a while but ALL IN GOOD PEACE since i know youre busy and go you.. so good at staying away from the web.. anyways alex i love you sm ugh.. youre always so funny n so cute and hhhhhh i just thought of your selfie n i choked again that hair was on fleek and youre so gorgeous!!! you and youngbin jaeyoon would be so cute im sure of it… my otp 8(((((

@woodawns

miss sflop9???? my dearest inseong anti?????? my gOOD hwi stan friend???? my UNNIE??? sahdabbahds god.. or should i say,, heol??? omg shi talking toyou is so much fun n we’re always the same with our spams.. n our thirst abt our mans even tho you say you hate inseong n all he stands for but i KNOW DEEP DOWN in your bONES you love that guy a whole much! also its so funny ahsbjd your love for drama… a true kpop stan… ugh i know you dont like showering me with love but ill continue to shower you with my love till the end of times bc thats just how it be!!! heol youre just so funny n im glad we r talking like we r because you make my days a lot more progressive hhh and im glad to be sharing these fine men with you.. even if you call juju zaddy which. im still not on board with but whatevs!!!!!

@jikseu

I SAVED THEBEST FOR LAST???? my lovlie inna!!!!!! im lov you forever!!! and you know no one can take that away! i hope you know im always here for you and you can always come to me

[lottalex]

1/1/2019~reflection

yo, so im not really sure how to do this. I think I just made a random Tumblr to let the feelz out. because your girl gotta lotta them. hence the lotta lex. but I am still not comfortable with people seeing my shit that I know because putting my feelings out to the world that sees me in every day life is fucking terrifying.

SO. basically, I am just her to reflection my life the last year because it is now 2019 and that is the basic girly thing to do ~*~*~ 

Jan- wtf even happened in January of last year. gimme a sec to look at my pictures. pretty sure thats when I riddled with anxiety constantly and crying alone in my apartment while my ex-boyfriend went out all the time with his friends and I hated my life. lets check. my god, first of all I was fat. and had black hair and bangs. (tf did no one stop me for.) HOWEVER, my sweet angel nephew was born and I got to cry as I held him for the first time and fell in love with him. I remember being so terrified that my bff would have an ugly baby but that bitch had to outdo us and produce the cutest lil human. god bless. I started my journey on being a vegetarian on this day last year. which was amazing and I could see my body changing while knowing I was helping the planet. that being said, it’s time to return to that. Contemplated chopping my hair off. clearly going thru a lil crisis at this point lol. my other best friend found out her bf was talking to anther girl and I had to hold all that shit in because I was angry. and did she leave? nah, ya girl didn't but its alright hit up May on here I’m sure you’ll see how she got him back lol. alright so Jan wasn’t the worst. pretty good bc of the bean.

Feb- Ain’t got no clue wtf went on here. I remember my ex took the day off work to watch a fucking soccer game on valentines day instead of coming to see me lol. Jacqui came to visit during this time apparently lol nice. Yes, omg I fucked called into work and went to St. Louis and SMASHED some Korean bbq. fuck that sounds so fire right now. we played overwatch which is always fun. I didn’t get chosen for an animal caregiver position lol. getting skinnier. got the lush shampoo and conditioner bars. might have to hit those up again but they made my hair so greasy in korea. omg donghyun and I started being friends, jacqui was talking to some super hot Korean boy too. sad that didn’t work out for her lol. God, im so happy I went through my pictures. I forgot that February was the time that my best friend and I decided to take the biggest fucking risk of our lives and study in Korea for the summer. my mom was so fucking supportive. I will never delete those screenshots. My sister realized she was depressed and we got her some meds. woo. I made work friends and played dungeons and dragons like a fucking nerd and I love it.

March- ayyyye, I think this is where my anxiety got high as fuck about korea which was amazing lol such a fucking shitty time in my life. low-key worth it tho. I made a chicken Alfredo lasagna for my friends and it was fire. I should make that again. so many veggies and dog pics. love both of those things. I CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF WOW. I FORGOT. damn, that shit was short. Ashley finally starting coming around again. lol broke Zach’s phone and Ashley’s tooth on st. Pattys day. go team. doggo had to get heart worm shots. that shit was 1700 bucks and she had a weird patch shaved on her back lol. my grandparents got me a fucking sweet coffee pot for Christmas and I finally started using it. I need to break it out again, WE SENT OUR DEPOSIT FOR OUR APARTMENT IN KOREA OMFG I WANNA CRY I LOVE IT. started doing yoga too. another thing I need to get into again. 

April- went home for easter. wore a black bra with a yellow sweater. the beginning of disappointing my stepmom’s side of the family lol. got my luggage for korea omfg I wanna cry looking at these. it makes me so happy. lots of bts pics. still love them. just highly glad im not as obsessed anymore. god, more screenshots of my fabulous mother being loving and supportive of my every move. guess who I cant say that for? my dad lol. damn, this is the month my anxiety fucking attacked me. I couldn't sleep. I would cry for hours alone. I thought I was going to get my house broken into. I was paranoid someone was watching me. just a really shitty time. but, I had lots of things to look forward to and I didn't even know. 

may- this was my fucking month. Jesus, this is gonna be a crazy ride. omg trying to purchase BTS tickets with our whole fam for jacqui to be the only one to get one lol. and then my sweet mother again hitting up Stubhub and buying us tickets for $1,000. she cray but I was so thankful. I held a snake, nice. I quit my job and moved home for like 3 weeks prior to Korea. I. babysat. all. the. time. I had Wyatt and Navie. and I got in trouble for coming home and babysitting because my boyfriend at the time wanted me to pay attention only to him. he wanted me to not make any money before I left. nothing. the new bts album came out and its still my favorite one so far. I woke up early as fuck and listened to the whole thing with jacqui. we put headphones in and texted with every song we listened to. my god, im thankful for that bitch. decided that month that I wouldn’t stay at my old apartment and that I would move in with Jesse. saving me quite a bit of cash. went to Chicago before we left for korea for a concert and we brought the boys lol what a mistake. ex and I fought the entire time. he was such a dick to me before I left for korea and im not sure if he even sees it to this day. but I had the worst drink ever at a bar in Chi. we rode bikes along the lake. BFF attempted to get her hair done and it was all fucked up and she had to fix it. had a karaoke night with her family which was fun. had to leave my doggo, not so fun. drove the airport with my family (& at this point by family I just mean my mom, stepdad and siblings because is my dad really a parent at this point lol). BFF and I left for korea. traveled to Canada where their money smells like maple syrup lol. started taking anxiety pills finally. got to mother fucking South Korea. had to climb up six flights of stairs with 3 suitcases each lololololol. couldn’t get real food anywhere because jacqui and I were anxious motherfuckers and wouldn’t go in anywhere to order. got a Korean phone number. oh, also broke up with my boyfriend two days before I left. I didn’t break up with him but yeah. also found out he was talking to girls on snapchat a lot. thats was fun. my mental breakdowns at that time were fun. but I was kinda happy because it took a lot of pressure off me for korea and all and all it was for the best. we weren’t happy and hadn’t been for a long time.

June- OH JUNE. so many things. KOREA. Jacqui and I found our home restaurant in korea and I hope if we go back it’ll still be there. best 김치찌게 ever. met other foreign people one night out. got super fucking drunk on alcohol in hongdae somewhere that I dont even remember lol. Also, that was the night I met the first Korean dude I kissed. he was nice. English not so good. Jacqui met that josh kid. god I hope I never forget that. dude was a creeper. and the next night I broke my fucking wrist and dislocated my wrist and elbow AND snapped the elbow ligament all over a motherfucking Korean American boy. drunk Lexie is and always will be a mess hahahahaha. so had to go to the ER via Korean taxi where I almost passed out because they wouldn't let me drink water. had to cry in front of a lot of Koreans. got my arm set back into place without any anesthesia. but I found a billboard cutout of BTS on the way home lol. had to make my parents decide if I should stay in korea for surgery or come back to the states. mind you I was not even a week into being in korea hahah. this is why my dad fucking hates me im sure of it. attempted to explore a lil more. I feel bad for jacqui. she had to take care of me throughout all of this and I was fucked up on pain meds. she's a good egg that one. had surgery in korea. missed the first few days of class lol. found the fucking best popsicles ever in the hospital. made my dad pay 9,000 dollars for my surgery. found a bomb ass American restaurant. RIP I miss u. awh, omg Dasol. my bird. learned I loved cold noodles. especially in the heat of June Jesus H. tai kwon do was also lit. cute instructors bless. Jacqui’s drunk tinder date that turned into my date lol hey Daniel. got my cast off and got the brace. met meerkats and wallabies. finally had sex with someone besides my ex. 

ok ok this too much. I gotta clean now ill be back for the other six months lol 

[noritoshiikamo]

hi tee!! it's been a while since i sent you an ask hehe but it'll still be about one of the repetitive topics i manage to bring up on here

how are the bbs? the cats, the beautiful creatures? how are ur plants, have the cats gotten to them yet? how is ur mans? how are uu, do u still like ube boba??? how is ur hair, did u go thru with dying it all the way?? (!!!) how is ur new business going?? did u manage to try yema/pastel? (hehe hope u did and u liked it!!) i feel like i miss out on a lot nowadays, esp coz i dont play genshin or understand any talk about it hahahahaha

drink lots of water bb :>> take care, and stay safe!! 💖

HELLOOO ITS OKAYYYY IMYYYY AAA HOW ARE YOUUUUU

my cats are okay, getting fatter lol hdjdjdj all my plants survive and flourishing in the bathroom away from my cats bahahahahhahah im doing okay, im dreading my wisdom tooth extraction this december (imagine getting wisdom tooth pull out twi days before your bday yup thats me), i got double helix done AND YES I STILL LOVE UBE BOBA

my hair is short, rocking bobs, still have two washed out highlights i usually dyed green, i went green, grey, blonde past few month lol im letting it heal so far bcs im seeing my curls popping out and i really wanna rock my normal healthy curls back (but knowing me ill fuck it uo and start dyeing again)

mentally wise, its rocking, but thats when genshin came in BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA im rocking the fully gambling addiction gamer mood rn, but lifes okay, work is okay, business flunk bcs i cant handle it but ill try again and i MAY need to move to canada next year but who knows, lifes kinda okay but a bit messy rn and im just trying to survive heheh

u know what im craving rn?? sashimi ugh i wanna go to this sashimi buffet but boiiii its expensive, maybe i should for my bday sake hehe hiw are youu hows life? is everything okay too? i hooe youre taking care if yourself too bestie

[heshometome]

Get to know me tag

because why not right? I was tagged by the lovely and beautiful  @stay-weird-people <3 Its long so you can read more under the cut if you’re interested

Appearance: I’m 178cm (5′8 i think) I have very short like shaved at the sides and long at the top hair, dyed brown. I have bright af blue eyes and people always ask me if I’m wearing contacts lmao. 

Personality: oh dear here we go. I’m shy but once you get to know me im still shy lol, unless I’m super comfortable with you (im only comfortable with a select few people). I’m known to interrupt people during conversations, but thats due to years of being ignored so I try and get my opinion in as quick as possible, otherwise I’m silent. I’m also really caring too much in my opinion  and I tend to look after others rather than myself because i feel like other people are more important than me ANYWAY I’m also quite sarcastic and once I start laughing at something It’s hard for me to stop :’) I try to be nice too but sometimes in in a bad/sad mood and I snap at like everyone oops so I apologise in advance if I ever do that to you!

Ability: ok but seriously if you ask one of my friends what im best at they’ll instantly say cooking/baking lmao. Lucky I want to be a chef :p. I like to draw/paint but im not like amazing at it 

Hobbies: Well, Cooking, Drawing/painting, reading and the generic watching movies and music and things. 

Experiences: The most interesting things ive experienced are concerts. I’ve never travelled anywhere out of my island but I really want to go to Canada, South Korea (i wonder why), Brazil, and Europe better start saving

My life: oh dear okay well I’m 17, I live with my dad, 2 brothers and 1 sister. Im the oldest sibling. I also have a cat that I love to death. I’m moving out of home next year to start my course to become a chef. I’m not gonna say much more bc its depressing but yeAH

Relationships: lmao whats a relationship. I’m single as can be 

Random Things: umm?? I don’t like butter/margarine on my sandwiches. I hate tomatoes but could literally drink tomato sauce (ketchup) ive done it before.  I have a tendency to force people to like what I like?! I hate the flavours lime and mint. I have a tattoo but I want another one SO BAD. I love horror movies, mainly because I laugh at them, but zombie movies literally terrify me. It’s like something in the back of my head saying, “that could actually happen one day and youll die” and even though I know its not going to happen hopefully, it still freaks me out??! I talk a lot in my tags too so if you read them you can get to know me more I guess?? OH and before I forget! I got the job~

Congrats if you got to the bottom of this mess. It took me way longer to write than it probably should have and now you know really random things about me!! Whoop!! i hope i dont lose too many followers after this rip. 

Ill tag @rainy-ggukmin @rinef @bowiepanda @foxabram (you wanted to see so here) @bangtan-inu @bxngtangoals @chimmyangel @aesthetic-af-bitch @jaeesoon

you guys dont have to do it ofc <3