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lobsters-on-their-heads · 5 years

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Continuing Travels of Cophine, Part 3 Chapt. 10

Fucking finally. I’ve been trying to get my novel out to literary agents, which has taken up a lot of creative energy on top of regular life activities and things (bipolar doesn’t always work in my favor, either). But, here it is!

You can read all of Part 3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16820221

Cosima didn't know how to write a condolence card. She sucked even more at picking one out, but on Tuesday that was her One Job.

At the card-and-party-goods store Sarah brought her to, the card section stretched over three full aisles, and the “sympathy” cards were ten percent of that. “Just grab a card,” she muttered to herself, “any fucking card.” But all of the cards she picked up sucked. Donnie Hendrix just lost his mother – the first person in his entire life who loved him – and the trite pre-written message on a two dollar piece of card stock was supposed to sooth his pain? Were the swoopy cursive letters and watercolor flowers actually supposed to comfort anyone? Or wasn't it all just a ploy to make those who hadn't lost anyone feel better about themselves? Like saying “look, I helped” without actually helping anything at all?

She picked up a card showing a tire swing at sunset. Always remember that every part of life is a part of God's plan, it said.

Cosima huffed. “Is cloning a part of God's plan, too?” she asked the card, and stuffed it back into it's slot.

Another read, Nothing happens without a reason. A whole bunch of Cosima's life experience contradicted that one, too.

Those who love us never really leave us.

“Way to rip off Sirius Black, yo,” Cosima told that card. As she suspected, JK Rowling was not credited with the message anywhere on the back.

She had no idea how close Donnie was (had been) to his mother. If (when) Cosima's mother died, there wasn't a card in existence that would even dent Cosima's pain. To make matters worse, in her search Cosima came across sympathy cards for the loss of a spouse or partner and she nearly fled the card aisle to join Sarah in the “summer fun” aisle with the pool noodles and plastic sand buckets. The two news alerts from Syria she got a few minutes ago really didn't help, and Delphine wasn't even in Syria yet.

Cosima was scowling at a card reading Don't cry. They're in a better place now when her phone rang. She crammed the card back in it's overcrowded slot and answered. “Hey gorgeous,” she said.

“Hey,” Delphine said. “Is everything alright? You said you needed some help?”

Delphine sounded exhausted, and Cosima chided herself. Delphine had treated two Turkish clones in two cities in two days. She deserved some time to herself. “Totally alright,” Cosima assured her. “Nothing to worry about. Forget I asked.”

“Euh, not very likely. What do you need help with?”

“Well, you seem like a classy lady, and so I thought – ”

Delphine's snorted laugh cut her off. “I'm sorry, what?”

“I have to buy a sympathy card for Donnie, and I have no frikkin' clue what to get, or, like, what to do when we see him later today.”

“Oh.” Delphine's mirth vanished. “Why are you buying a sympathy card? What happened?”

“His mom died. She had a stroke on Friday and she never woke up from the coma. Not, if you ask me, the worst way to go, but still sad, you know?” Funny how none of the sympathy cards said that: It wasn't the worst way to go, but it's still sad, I know.

“Hm.”

“Anyway, I'm trying to find the right card, and nothing seems right. Sarah doesn't know either, and the whole “sorry your mom died” thing kind of sent her to a bad emotional place too. Totally understandable, you know? She's distracting herself right now. I'd normally ask Alison, but obviously that doesn't work here. Scott's socially inept in these areas, even worse than me, and my mom's off the grid until June, so I can't ask her either.”

“I see.” Traffic rushed by on Delphine's end, and she said, “hang on,” a couple of times before the traffic noise ceased. “I'm not sure how much I can help, actually. I'm not exactly an expert in comforting phrases or what to say after someone dies. In English or in French, actually.”

Cosima sighed. “Well, you've gotta be better at this than I am. Like, what kind of card would you want if your mom died?”

Delphine laughed again. “That depends.”

“On what?”

“How she died, if she'd decided to talk to me before she passed, if she has a will...”

“Let's say there's no will, you were on speaking terms, and she died of a stroke.” Cosima had no idea about the will part, but assumed it didn't matter here. “In fact, you know what, scratch that. You'd probably want a card saying something like Guess what? She's dead.”

“In my case, yes, that would be fine. But this is not my case.”

“What kind would you want if I died?”

Delphine inhaled sharply, and Cosima kicked herself again. Delphine already had those nightmares. “I'd rather not think about that.”

“Yeah, fair. Ditto.”

“Cosima. What kind of card do you think you should get? What would the right one say in this situation?”

“I just want one that says, This sucks, and we all know it sucks, and we're here for you. None of this greater purpose, heaven and God shit. I mean, I know the Hendrixes go to church and all that, but... I don't know. It seems off base to me, and it'll be super obvious I don't mean it.”

“Don't they have any blank cards? You can write in your own message if you want.”

“I am not sure that would be better, actually.” She sighed again and held a hand to her forehead. Chances were, this would be their only conversation that day – it was dinner time in Bursa, and Cosima would be spending the next few hours with the Hendrixes. She should get the most out of her daily Delphine Time. Walking away from the cards towards the big store-front window, she asked, “How'd your day go, then? How was the treatment?”

“Fine. She's asymptomatic, as we suspected.”

Cosima smiled. “Nice of you to use the plural there. If I remember correctly, you're the one who convinced me not to drop clone fest to inoculate her back in March.”

“You weren't terribly opposed, though.”

“Mostly because I knew Alison would kick my ass.” Cosima giggled. “If only we'd known how Clone Fest would actually go! Alison might've been happy for us to miss it.”

“I thought you two smoothed all that over?”

“Eh. I guess. Forgiven but not forgotten, for my part.”

“Doesn't sound like you've completely forgiven, either.”

“I've forgiven enough to not bring it up again with her. How's that? I'm letting it slide.”

“As long as you're both okay.”

“I am fine. Alison's husband is the one I should be worried about right now. And you. I'm always worried about you.”

“Don't worry too much. Bursa is very nice. Rainy, but nice.”

“Oh, I'm sure it's nice. And it's not really Bursa I'm worried about, either.”

Delphine made a noncommittal noise. Cosima picked up a little animatronic Easter bunny from the store's clearance bin and pushed the button on its ear. While it danced around to its tinny robotic song, Cosima tried to think of something else to say – something other than “you know there have been chemical attacks in Syria recently” and “you know our security team can't really protect you from everything.”

“How's everyone else?” Delphine asked.

“Fine. Charlotte's still being Charlotte. Sarah's worried she's gonna fail her math class, so we're all trying to help her out with that.”

“Wait. Sarah's worried that Charlotte will fail? I thought she was strong in math.”

“No no no. Sarah's worried that Sarah might fail math.”

“Ah!”

“Too many shes, I know.”

“Hm.”

Cosima looked around to make sure Sarah wasn't in hearing distance. “I'm trying to kind of gently coax her into, like, an advisor's office or something. Maybe an academic counselor.”

“Sarah, you mean?”

“Yes, still Sarah. Like, it's weird.” Cosima looked around again. Sarah had moved on to the “Over the Hill” birthday aisle, where she was laughing at some tombstone shaped decorations. “She's obviously smart,” Cosima whispered to Delphine, “and she's doing everything she's supposed to do. She's working her ass off for these classes, and she just can't get it. Me and Scott are still tutoring her like once a week or so, but I dunno. I think she needs something that we're not able to give her, but I don't know what. She just keeps saying she's too stupid to get it, but I don't think that's the case.”

“No, I don't think so either.”

“She was joking the other day that someone must've dropped her on her head as a baby.”

Delphine was silent on the other end, but in the silence Cosima heard her thinking. The gentle tap of a pen or pencil gave it away. Before either of them to continue the conversation, Sarah came over and waved a “old man survival kit” at Cosima.

“Art's birthday's all set, then,” Sarah said. When Cosima just stared, she clarified. “He's turning 40 in a couple weeks.”

“Oh,” Cosima said. “Cool. Um. Send us the date, yeah?”

“Sure. He doesn't want anyone to know, but whatever.” She waved at the phone in Cosima's hand and raised her voice. “Hi Delphine!”

Delphine chuckled softly and said, “Hello Sarah” in a voice soft enough for Sarah to miss it.

“I should get going,” Cosima said into the phone. “I probably can't talk much later, but text me if you want, yeah?”

Delphine agreed to, they both said “I love you,” and Cosima hung up. Then she turned to Sarah. “How'd you know I was talking to Delphine?”

“Your face, mostly. Anyway, you ready yet? Where's the card? I wanna get outta here before I buy too much shit I don't need.”

* * * * * *

On Thursday, as Delphine travelled to Izmir, Cosima sat in their apartment and scrolled through job listings. The exercise was futile – she wouldn't apply to any of them and anyway, she didn't have her PhD yet. Her advisor sent back a list of dissertation edits yesterday, but Cosima had only made two of the smallest ones. More and more, every time she sat at the computer, her mind drifted. Some of it was the same old shit: anxiety over the state of the world and the nagging feeling that nothing she did amounted to much. And worry about Delphine. She always worried about Delphine. The job search began as a combination of those – worry that she'd never get a job good enough to give Delphine the kind of life she deserved.

Her family made sure to get her away from the Rabbit Hole for at least an hour every day now, and Cosima was not allowed to protest. If she did, they pretended to move in with her, loudly, until she left the apartment in frustration. That only happened once, though. Tuesday's outing was to the store and the Hendrixes, where Clone Club gathered to support Donnie in his grief. Yesterday, Cosima was back at Bailey Downs, to “help Helena with the boys” while the Hendrixes attended the funeral in Hamilton. “Helping with the boys” made no sense, of course, since Cosima didn't know what the fuck to do with one-year-olds except make silly faces once in a while, and Helena resented the obvious supervision. Cosima spent half of that visit riding Alison's bicycle aimlessly through the subdivision by herself.

Thoughts of the twins and the suburban expanse of Scarborough set Cosima's mind spinning again.

She remembered the sprawling, packed metropolises of Mexico City, Istanbul, and São Paulo. Those weren't even the biggest cities in the world, and still their size and scope took her breath away. She remembered the bustling streets of Lima and Cairo, and she'd never stopped being amazed at how many distinct individuals existed in the world. Little Arthur and Little Donnie were unique, just like every single one of those people. Just like Delphine. Just like Cosima and each of her sisters.

She shook her head and tapped her own cheeks. Another cup of tea was in order, but before she got up her phone emitted a weak little chirp – another news alert from Syria.

“Fuck it,” Cosima told her laptop. Grabbing her coat and purse, she went outside, leaving the job search and dissertation edits behind.

The Syrian news alerts never made Cosima feel better. Even the occasional cease fires failed to get her hopes up, because most of them devolved into violence again, or yet another armed group entered the scene to fuck shit up again.

At least Cosima now checked those alerts only from outside of the Rabbit Hole, with a view of sky and trees rather than drab walls and a moldy ceiling she lacked motivation to clean herself. Ignoring the chirps from inside the apartment didn't change the situation, but it helped Cosima keep her head screwed on, and it kept her from telling Delphine to just stay far the fuck away and send someone else to cure the Syrian Leda.

Not that she hadn't thought about it. The trouble was that no one else would do it – not the way it needed to be done, or with the appropriate discretion.

Cosima ordered a chai latte at the cafe around the corner, sat near the window, and gave in to her brain's desire to dwell on bad news for the day.

Fighting in Aleppo schools bombed in Hama clinics shot up in Ghouta ISIS kidnapping people in Deir ez-Zor

Hundreds of thousands of people were trying to flee with the clothes on their backs, and the only people trying to get in were ISIS recruits, aid workers, and foreign military “advisors.” By the time this whole shit show ended, Cosima doubted there would be anything left of the beautiful country she'd wanted to visit as a teenager – encouraged by her tenth grade math teacher who just happened to be Syrian and also super fucking hot. But that was now beside the point. The point now was that a different super fucking hot object of Cosima's affections would be in Syria within the next couple of weeks. Their purchase earlier that year of “kidnap and ransom” insurance only made Cosima feel worse.

Skimming over the most recent alert from Damascus, a pair of chimes interrupted her. The first was from Qamar, their remaining Arabic translator, requesting a phone call in a few minutes. She did that often, preferring to relay messages longer than five words verbally rather than in writing. Cosima sighed and agreed.

The other was the semi-daily update from Nabil back in Djibouti. Like most of the children's texts, it was short and random – a picture of a filthy street cat in the shadow of a trash can that he'd captioned “friienb.” Cosima replied as she usually did, with a picture of her own – her chai latte, framed by a glass sugar shaker and a napkin holder. She added a short and simple message of her own. “Lunch.”

She kept thinking of talking with Qamar about Nooran's nieces and nephews. Djibouti was certainly safer than Yemen, and now that Nooran was cured their life could improve somewhat, but Cosima couldn't let go of Nooran's request – to take the children to Canada with them. She also couldn't forget the role they'd inadvertently played in Cosima's current situation by sending a picture of themselves with the flag of the Muslim Brotherhood in the background. It wasn't their fault, and she would never – could never – ask them about it.

Her phone rang and she answered before even checking the caller. “Hello, this is Cosima,” she said.

“Hi, Cosima,” her mother said, a certain heaviness in her voice.

The dissonance between her expectation of Qamar's chipper accent and the sound of her mother's voice made Cosima reel. “Oh. Hey, Mom. I thought you were out to sea right now?”

“Well, we were.”

“Okay. That doesn't sound good. What happened? You said the boat was having some issues, but – ”

“No, honey, the boat's fine. We got that fixed last month.”

“Okay...”

A garbled, wonky announcement sounded through the phone, like the announcements at airports or train stations, but filtered under water. Sally sighed and waited for it to finish before speaking again. “We're at the hospital right now.”

Cosima froze. “Oh shit. Is it your foot?” She'd been worried about that, about her mother going out to sea so soon after bunion surgery, but Sally said no.

“No, honey, my foot's doing fine. It's Gene.”

“Oh. Is he...”

“It's not his heart this time. He's very keen on everyone knowing that. He did not have another heart attack, and he's been taking his statins regularly.”

“Okay, well that still doesn't really tell me what's wrong with him.”

Sally sighed again. “Well, a couple of days ago, he started noticing blood in his urine. Of course, being Gene, he didn't say anything about it until yesterday, when he couldn't urinate at all.”

Imagining that made Cosima squirm and cross her legs in sympathy. “That sounds awful.”

Beeping in Cosima's ear told her Qamar was trying to get through. Whatever. Qamar could wait. Qamar probably didn't have a urinary blockage.

Sally went on. “Yes, well, after several hours of that, he agreed we should turn around and head for shore. Fortunately we were only about six hours out from Eureka, so here we are.”

“So, what, Dad went like eight hours without peeing? Holy shit.”

“Closer to twelve or fourteen, I think. He's on a catheter now and they're running some tests.”

“Jesus Christ, poor guy.”

“Yes, well.” Sally gave a few of her deep sighs – the kind that came from somewhere beneath her diaphragm and that Cosima was all too familiar with.

“Go ahead and say it, Mom.”

She sighed again. “Well, it's just – I know this has been going on longer than he says it has. The doctors were worried about his prostate last year, and sometimes Gene gets this pinched look on his face, you know? This pinched pained look and then he acts like it didn't happen and he's not in any pain, like I'm some kind of an idiot.”

“That... sounds familiar.”

“Oh, so you noticed while we were in Toronto a few months ago? You noticed it too?”

“Uh, no, actually, I didn't. I was thinking of something else.” She was thinking of Delphine, wincing over the phone and over Skype and swearing that nothing was wrong, all the while having a cracked knee cap. “I think you and I have similar tastes in partners,” she told Sally.

Sally laughed. “Don't say that! Delphine's a nice girl.”

“Yeah, nice and stubborn as hell. Anyway. What's next? What's going to happen?”

“We're staying on land for a while. I knew Gene was really hurting when I told him we'd have to, and he didn't even argue.”

Cosima whistled. “Back to Berkeley then?”

“We'll see. I'll keep you posted. Love you.”

Cosima returned the sentiment and hung up. She needed to call Qamar and see what she'd turned up, but that could wait another few minutes. Pulling up her on-going text string with Delphine, Cosima typed, Would you tell me if you couldn't pee for twelve hours? After hitting send, she kicked herself. Over text, she wouldn't see Delphine's face when she read the question, and in regular messenger it was impossible to delete texts.

The phone call with Qamar lasted four minutes. Samira, the one Leda remaining in Syria, still resided in Douma, but had no cell phone or internet access. All the information Qamar had was word-of-mouth, from the cousin of a friend of Samira's husband.

“I tell him, you see her next month,” Qamar said

“It'll be a lot closer than that,” Cosima said. “Delphine's scheduled to meet the security team there on May 9.”

“May 9? Okay, I tell them tomorrow. I talk them tomorrow.”

“I mean,” Cosima cautioned, “there's also always the chance the date could change. Just like the others.”

“Yes yes. I know.” Qamar had been with them since they got the Leda List, or close to it. She knew the deal, even if she never quite understood it.

Off the phone again, Cosima let out a long, slow breath. Different news would have been welcome – that Samira had fled along with her Syrian Leda sisters and Delphine didn't need to go there at all, ever. Or maybe that Samira was in some unique position to hop over the border into Lebanon for a day or two and get treated there.

Not likely.

Finishing her drink, Cosima debated a trip to the aquarium or to see Scott at the university, where he was working on nanotechnology. She'd just settled on visiting Scott when Delphine's reply arrived. Yes, I will tell you if I can't pee for 12 hours but only on one condition.

That was unexpected. What's that?

You have to tell me why the fuck you tried putting a robot worm in your face a few years ago.

#continuing travels of cophine #my fanfiction #cophine fanfiction

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wynneinrome · 6 years

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The Three Musketeers

The First Part: https://wynneinrome.tumblr.com/post/160054874630/the-three-musketeers

Part 2: https://wynneinrome.tumblr.com/post/173369185045/the-three-musketeers

The Full compiled version so you don’t have to search my Tumblr Abyss each time for it: https://www.quotev.com/story/9467766/The-Three-Musketeers

If any of ya’ll know how to make links so I don’t have to copy and past these long-ass thing lemme know.

Tag List: If you want to be added/removed just message me and I will do so!

@midtownsciencenerd @hollandstarks @cringyholland @takemespidey @harrison-osterfield-appreciation @osterfield @intheheartofpeterparker@intheheartoftomholland @gounderoos @softboyhollands

Chapter 3: Dreams, Ships, and OTP Wars Part 1 and Part 2

Whooooo so sorry for how long this took, as this chapter is hella long, I am going to divide it into parts. Not sure how many, hopefully just two.... But knowing me, it will be more. So the hashtag "littlelexithings", is an actual hashtag, so you can look it up on Instagram and find my muse. Hope you guys like part 1! ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time I saw Tom and Harrison in the flesh, was about a year or so later…. Haha got you there didn’t I? It was actually only like 6 months later. Not too bad, but it felt like forever. I had wrapped filming on the recent season of Suits and was traveling around the world for a press tour for my novel. I had finally finished it and polished it to the point where not even I could come up with stuff. And I’m a pretty creative kid. But anyway, that is besides the point… I was making a stop in London to do a book signing and to talk more about my next book in progress. I was posting some photos on Instagram, showing the view outside my plane window. The sun was just rising over the clouds, piercing through the darkness and spraying the sky with orange and red hues. I snapped a photo and posted. “Mornings over London. #awesome #beautiful #littlelexithings #sunrise #Icanshowyoutheworld #dontletmemissathing”. I put my phone onto the tray table and sighed. I was practically bubbling over with excitement. I couldn’t wait to see London. Suddenly my phone buzzed. I flinched, the noise sounded twice as loud in the silence of the plane.

“Holy crap…..” I looked down. “Awww Harrison!”

Harrison: “Hey Lexi! Saw your post, glad you’re in London!”

Me: “Do you ever sleep?” Me: “Yeah, I’m doing a book signing here.”

Harrison: “You wrote a book?!” Harrison: “Can I read it?”

Me: “Oh my word… fiiiiiiine.”

Harrison: “Yay!”

Tom: “I don’t mind you two talking…. But in the group chat?! AT 2 IN THE MORNING!”

Me: “Shhhhh Tom. Nobody asked you…. And besides, you could just silence this conversation.” Me: “And besides, you know you love us.”

Tom: “Well since you’re in the area you should come hang!”

Me: “I’m only coming to see Tessa and Monty. You two are just second best.”

Harrison: “Ouch…. I feel hurt.”

Tom: “My brothers can’t wait to meet the girl that caused the media to explode overnight.”

Harrison: “My sister wants to meet you as well.”

Me: “Well I’d be glad to meet them!”

I smiled to myself. Being on a private jet had its perks. Damian was sleeping across from me. He could sleep in literally any place, but then again so could I. Damian would lecture me for not actually getting a full 8 hours of sleep. But now that I had something to look forward to besides my book signing, I felt like I couldn’t sleep anymore. I had already been sleeping since we left DIA, which was about 4 hours of actual sleep. The flight was about 10 hours long, and I had been awake for too long. I snuggled down into my blankets and tried to get another hour of sleep. I was startled awake by Damian poking my cheek.

“Hey Kiddo, time to get ready.” Damian whispered with a grin. “We’re finally here. Time to get freshened up.”

“What? This “I just was on a plane for 10 hours” look isn’t the new craze?” I grinned, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

Damian rolled his eyes and pulled me up to the makeup kit. “It is time for you to be glammed up honey. No one will ever know you don’t always look like this.” He winked and began his process.

I pulled my hair up into a messy bun and sat down in front of Damian. I pulled out my iPhone and opened my Amazon Music app to pick some songs to play while I waited. I picked Sam Smith’s “Too Good at Goodbyes”.

“And every time you hurt me, the less that I cry. And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry. And every time you walk out, the less I love you. Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true.” I sang in a low voice. I hated my singing voice, but when I was with friends I couldn’t care less what I sounded like.

“Girl, who are you thinking of?” Damian asked, raising a brow. “Actually I have a hunch of who is on your mind, and it ain’t those pretty British boys.”

I shrugged, “Does it really matter Damian? I mean, I’m always the single friend.” I rolled my shoulders and sat up straight. “Now come on, do what you must so I can talk.”

Damian just shook his head. “Honey, I thought you were over that boy a while ago… I mean he was unattainable then. Why now? Don’t glare at me, it makes creases in your makeup.” Damian lifted my chin. “Now it can’t be that boy you had a crush on in middle school, oh what was his name…. Oh yeah, Michael. Stop looking at me like that Lexi…..” He turned my face to the left. “Now we know it isn’t Sam…. you two are like best friends. Now just between two people.”

I pulled away. “Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it.”

“Those two handsome fellows you worked with….. Oh right, James… and Dorian.” Damian smirked.

I groaned. Damian knew I hadn’t really gotten over James… He just teased me about Dorian, because most of my friends thought we were made for each other. But I could never see myself with anyone. No matter how many love songs I listened to. No matter how many times my friends said “Oh he likes you.”. I couldn’t believe a word they said. Call me a pessimist, but that’s how I made it on a day-to-day basis. I’m always crushing on someone, the length of the crush just varies each time. But there were two boys that caused my heart to stop and then beat twice as fast. First it was my friend Sam, I had a crush on him my senior year of high school. But once I knew he didn’t reciprocate my feelings, I made a point of just being friends. He was my other anchor in the world back home. Then there was James…. Oh boy, sometimes I wish our paths never crossed. I worked with him after I graduated and was trying to finish my book. He was literally my perfect man. We bantered like siblings whenever we were around each other. I had never fully recovered from this crush and my heart was always a little tender when he came up in conversation.

“Too soon?” Damian inquired.

“It will always be too soon.” I replied. “Always.”

Damian shook his head. “When will you get over him? You even told me you knew that relationship was never going to happen, because he was a manager and you were not.”

“I don’t know!” I threw my hands into the air. “Besides, I don’t want to talk about it. I’d rather talk about Tom and Haz. Or my book. Anything but this.”

Damian leaned back and shrugged. “What do you think you’re going to be doing with Tom and Haz? It’s been awhile since you two have talked. And both of you have been busy with auditions and other things in your life.”

It was my turn to shrug. I had no idea. Meanwhile, during Damian and I’s discussion. The plane had begun its descent and landed in London. Thankfully, Damian had finished his work on my face and hadn’t decided to give me a unibrow in sharpie. I grabbed my shoulder bag off my chair and stretched. It was time to get ready to be fabulous. I exited the plane and walked to the taxi, oh excuse me, cab waiting for me. I smiled at the cabbie and slid into the back seat. Damian flopped down beside me and grinned.

“Nothing like sitting in a cab after sitting for 10 hours.” I winked, trying to shove those memories Damian had brought back up to the bottom of my mind bucket.

“Oh yes, I can just feel the joy of my poor, poor legs.” Damian laughed.

I turned my face to the sight of London. It was raining and I was speechless. I love the rain and the way it accents the world around me. Rain seems to wash away the pain and the dirtiness the outside deposits. The drive wasn’t much longer than a half and hour. The hotel I was staying at was a simple place, I chose it because fancy wasn’t my jam. I liked Mom and Pop shops and little restaurants that no one really knows about. Also, the less fancy the joint, the less likely I was to be mobbed by paparazzi. Upon arriving, I unloaded my suitcases and wheeled them to my room. I flopped down on the bed and laid there for a few moments. I hated unpacking. My phone buzzed, so I lazily reached over and pulled it to me. It was a notification from Instagram. I had been tagged in a photo.

“What the….” I muttered, unlocking my phone.

The photo was a post on Tom’s Instagram. It was a picture of him with his dog Tessa with the caption “Can’t wait to see my friend @lexis_scanlan! Tess can’t wait to meet you. #Ihopeyoutookyourallergymeds #longtimenosee #goodtimesontheway”. I smiled and liked the photo. I commented, “SPARE I’m only here for the dog. Not you. Sorry boo.”

I set my phone down and began to pulled my clothes out of my suitcase. I wandering the room deciding where I wanted most of my clothes. It took me about an hour to unpack. I grabbed my bluetooth speaker and began playing my music. I picked Watercolors by Will Jay.

I pulled out my blue romper and began to sing along with the song.

“Darling you're in deep, your skin is covered, Loving me with all my watercolors, But I wash out easily. All we have is this heat of the moment, Won't last on the high of our emotions, 'Cause I wash out easily. Soon I'll be gone, You don't belong with me.”

I’m the type of person who skips songs so I’d be halfway through a song before I’d pick a new one.

“All you have to do is stay a minute. Just take your time. The clock is ticking, so stay. All you have to do is wait a second. Your hands on mine. The clock is ticking, so stay. All you have to do is... uh, All you have to do is stay…… Oh na na, just be careful, na na. Love ain't simple, na na. Promise me no promises. Oh na na, just be careful, na na. Love ain't simple, na na. Promise me no promises…...And I'm almost there, I'm almost there. People gonna come here from everywhere! And I'm almost there I'm almost there. There's been trials and tribulations, You know I've had my share. But I've climbed a mountain, I've crossed a river. And I'm almost there I'm almost there I'm almost there!.....Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze! It means no worries, For the rest of your days. It's our problem-free philosophy. Hakuna Matata!”

Suddenly there was knocking at my door. I stopped putting away my clothes and paused my music. I looked through the peep hole.

“Oh hey Damian…. Am I singing too loud?”

“Uh, kinda… But that’s okay. I was just stopping by to let you know that I’m headed out to meet with Cleo about all the makeup and fashion jazz. She agreed that you could explore. Just don’t get lost and be careful!” Damian said poking my cheek.

“Seriously?!” I took a step back. “That is AWESOME! I could go see Tom and Harrison!”

Damian laughed and shook his head. “Hey Lex don’t forget, you have a book signing tomorrow. And I need you back here way before then.”

“Yes sir!” I nodded, grinning ear to ear.

I turned back into my room and shot a quick text to the boys.

Me: “Hey, I’m free for a few hours. Wanna meet up?”

Tom: “Yas gurl yaaaaaaaaaaas!”

Haz: “What the hell Tom?!” Haz: “Where should we meet you?”

I sent them the address of my hotel and quickly got ready to meet them. I brushed out my now auburn hair and pulled on my jeans and Australia hoodie. I grabbed my dark green purse, grey sweater, room key, and walked out the door. I practically bounced down the stairs to meet them, I have an irrational fear of being in elevators alone. I made it to the entrance and was enveloped into a massive group hug.

“LEXI!!!!!!!” Harrison yelled.

“HARRISON?!!!!!” I shouted back, a bit disoriented and terrified.

“LEXI AND HAZ!!!!” Tom yelled.

“Dude why?” Harrison asked.

“I didn't want to be left out.” Tom replied with a shrug.

“Come on you two! Let's get out of here!” I interrupted them and pulled them out of the hotel lobby.

The sun was shining and there was a rainbow. I was practically beaming, I loved this type of weather. Tom and Harrison walked on either side of me. We walked in silence for a good couple blocks as I took in the sites.

“Wait hold up….. did you two walk here?” I asked.

“Nah…. we drove, but the parking is terrible.” Harrison answered.

“Ah….” I replied, nodding.

I fell back into silence as I gazed up at the London skyline. It was surreal for me. Tom and Harrison lead me to where their car was parked. They drove me out of the city into a more rural area, I was mesmerized by the English countryside. If I had a choice I'd live here.

“You ready to meet Tessa?” Tom asked looking at me in the rear view mirror.

“Uh yes. Why is this a question? You know I love doggos!” I exclaimed.

We arrived soon after. Tom's brother Paddy was outside playing with Tessa. I grinned at the sight of them. I loved people canon in life. Faking it was so painful to observe.

“Hey Tom!’ Paddy shouted, waving and pulling Tessa out of the way.

Tom and Harrison waved back. I shyly waved at Paddy and he smiled brightly my way. Tom parked the car and we all hopped out. Tessa bounded over to Tom and almost took him down.

“Whoa there Tess….” Tom laughed, petting Tessa. “Here girl meet Lexi. She’s a friend of mine.”

Tessa bounced around my legs. I bent down and rubbed her head.

“Well hello there beautiful.” I cooed. “Aren’t you just a sweetheart?”

“Come on Lexi. Sam and Harry want to meet you.” Tom said, pulling me away from Tessa.

“Uh excuse me. I like Tessa better.” I objected with a smirk.

“You haven’t even met them yet!” Tom replied.

“If they’re anything like you….” I mused.

“Oi!” Tom exclaimed swatting my arm.

I laughed and stepped away. “I can tell no lies.”

Before Tom could smack me again, his brothers came outside. Sam and Harry waved and walked over.

“Tom is this the friend you were telling us about?” Sam asked, looking me over.

“Yeah, Sam and Harry meet Lexi.” Tom replied, pointing at each of us in turn.

I grinned at them both, “It’s really nice to finally meet you.”

An awkward silence descended between us, as we had nothing to say. I fiddled with my purity ring nervously. Tessa looked at all of us expectantly, clearly she had no issues with the silence.

I, on the other hand, was internally screaming.

Spending time with Tom’s family wasn’t too awkward once we got to talking. His mom was super nice and asked to take some photos of me and Tom. I agreed, as long as she’d send them to me. They were pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself.

We had gone inside, and were all sprawled around the living room. Tessa was laying with her head on my lap. We were discussing my book and the new film opportunities we were getting. They were all excited about my book and I was equally excited to tell them about my fantasy world that kept me sane. Unfortunately, I got a call from Damian.

“Crap…. It’s Damian.” I sighed. “I need to head back to the hotel.”

When I answered the phone, while walking out with Tom and Harrison, I could hear classical music in the background.

“Damian, are you okay? You don’t usually listen to Mozart.”

“Cleo wants you back. She’s pissed that I let you leave.” Damian replied.

“But didn’t you say that-” I began.

“I freaking lied.” Damian snapped. “Do you really think she’d be nice after these last couple fiascos?!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey now!” I retorted. “Don’t you get all pissy with me son! I thought this was too good to be true! I would’ve just stayed in the hotel if you had told me too! Damian this is all on you!”

“Well sue me you little-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Don’t you fucking dare.” I growled.

“Just get back.” Damian hung up with a dismissive click.

I exhaled and ran my hands through my hair in exasperation. I knew Cleo agreeing to let me be an average teen was too good to be true.

“Hey Tom?” I finally spoke, breaking the silence in the car. “Is there a faster way to the hotel? My manager has her panties in a twist, and I’d like her and my make-up artist not in a fist fight.”

“Yeah I think so.” Tom said. “I’ll do my best to get you there.”

“Thanks Tom.” I whispered.

I leaned back and sighed. Somethings would just never change and I would just have to get used to it. Right?

Wrong. Oh boy was I wrong.

After Tom and Harrison dropped me off at the hotel, I went in to face the beast. Cleo was standing in my room with her arms crossed, tapping her high-heeled foot. Damian was sitting on the bed looking at his hands.

“Cleo.” I said, looking her up and down. “What do you want?”

“Oh I dunno,” She growled. “You to actually take this job seriously!!!”

“Maybe you need to relax.” I hissed. “You seem to forget, that in this business, people are known for losing their shit. Hopefully, I will never have to show you my dark side.”

“Is that a threat?” Cleo gasped.

“No. It is a warning. A warning you should heed.” I shrugged. “Now is there something important you need to tell me? Or did you just want to try to belittle me? Because if it is the second one, get the hell out.”

Cleo huffed and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. I exhaled the breath I didn’t know I was holding. Damian hadn’t moved. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to throw things and cry. I wanted him to hurt like I was. But I also knew that it wasn’t worth it. Just because I’m broken, I don’t need to break others too.

“D? You okay?” I asked softly, sitting beside him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. It’s fine. But are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Not what I asked.”

“Let it go. You’re just a kid, you don’t understand anything.” Damian snapped, standing and walking out.

The door slammed making me flinch.

“So much for a friendly talk.” I thought. “God, please let tomorrow go okay… I can’t bear much more drama.”

I fell back on my bed and screamed into a pillow. I clenched my fists and took a deep breath. I needed to prepare for my book signing tomorrow. I looked at my closet, this was one of the few times I was allowed to pick my garb. So I was gonna take it by the reigns and go with it.

After a few solid hours of going “Nope, nuh-uh, not gonna happen, and why did I pack this?!” I finally settled on an outfit. My blue romper, with my beige heels, and a grey sweater. It was simple, but also showed who I really was.

After laying out my clothes, I quickly changed into my pajamas and laid down. It was a restless night of sleep. I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a freight train. I slowly sat up and looked at my phone, it was still dark out.

“Crap. it’s 2 A.M. I don’t need to be awake for at least 5 more hours.” I ran my hands through my hair. “Well I’m wide awake, guess I’ll just make do then.”

I stood up slowly and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I grabbed my earbuds and put them in and began playing “Rise Up” by Andra Day.

“You're broken down and tired of living life on a merry go round, and you can't find the fighter. But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out and move mountains. We gonna walk it out and move mountains. And I'll rise up. I'll rise like the day. I'll rise up. I'll rise unafraid. I'll rise up and I'll do it a thousand times again. And I'll rise up, high like the waves. I'll rise up, in spite of the ache. I'll rise up and I'll do it a thousands times again. For you. For you. For you. For you. When the silence isn't quiet and it feels like it's getting hard to breathe. And I know you feel like dying, but I promise we'll take the world to its feet and move mountains. We'll take it to its feet and move mountains. And I'll rise up. I'll rise like the day. I'll rise up. I'll rise unafraid. I'll rise up and I'll do it a thousand times again. For you. For you. For you. For you. All we need, all we need is hope. And for that we have each other. And for that we have each other. We will rise. We will rise. We'll rise, oh oh. We'll rise. I'll rise up. Rise like the day, I'll rise up. In spite of the ache, I will rise a thousands times again. And we'll rise up rise like the waves. We'll rise up in spite of the ache. We'll rise up. And we'll do it a thousands times again. For you oh oh oh oh oh. For you oh oh oh oh oh. For you oh oh oh oh oh. For you.” I sang in a low voice.

I pulled on my hoodie and slipped into my knock-off UGG boots. I grabbed my room key and slipped out into the dimly light hallway. I exhaled and continued my trek to the stairs. I had a odd fear of elevators (and escalators but that isn’t the point).

It was raining outside. But I couldn’t care less, rain was my relaxation. I took out my earbuds to listen to the outside world. It was too early for most people to be driving, so it was almost silent. The rain fell steadily, like a woman crying at a funeral. And boy did it feel like a funeral. I let the rain wash over me. It was like a drug to my senses. I could feel my pain rolling off of me like the waves cleaning the beach.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and glanced at my screen. It was only 2:30 A.M. I had time to kill. And I wasn’t gonna lounge around my hotel room if I could go explore. So I began walking down the street. Street lights guided me to a small park. The lights in the park weren’t on and I wasn’t feeling like getting murdered by some vengeful spirit. (I think I may have watched too much Supernatural.) So upon opting out of being murdered, I sat down on a small bench, just outside of the park. “BUT LEXI THAT’S NOT ANY SAFER!!” Yes I can hear you scream that at me. I laughed at my odd internal narration. The rain had stopped and I was left alone with just the sound of my heart beat.

Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-Bum. Ba-bum… Shhhhhh just breathe. Just breathe. You’ll be okay. It’s not over yet. Just breathe. Just breathe. Let me hold your hand. Don’t give in. Don’t forget who you are. Just breathe. Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum.

I sat there until the sun began to creep up over the horizon. The bright hues of orange and purple sprayed across the sky. The stars fled to the other side of the world and I wished they’d take me with them. I didn’t want them to go just yet.

I began my silent walk back to the hotel. The world was beginning to come alive. The birds were chirping and hunting for grub. Upon arriving at the hotel, I jogged to my room and hopped into the shower. It was 5 A.M then, Damian and Cleo wouldn’t be up till at least 7.

“Two more hours of freedom.” I whispered, rinsing the shampoo out of my hair. “Remember Lexi, this is your book. Your baby. You’ve done good. People will, most likely, like your book.”

After my shower, I dried my hair and got dressed. It was 6 when I was finished. I sat down on my bed and turned on the tv. Not much was on at this time, which was fine with me. I used the news as background noise as I scrolled through Instagram. My siblings had posted a few things, mainly pictures of my nephews and nieces. My friends showed their activities. My costars posted about their families and movies they were in. I hadn’t posted since yesterday. It was a rare occurrence for me to post, I was like Tom in that way. But I also had less of a fan following than he did. I hadn’t even gotten close to a million followers, which didn’t matter to me… But Cleo on the other hand, well let’s just say it was the one of her main focuses.

Suddenly I heard my name on the tv, I grabbed the remote and turned up the volume.

“Alexis Scanlan, Lyncoln on the hit TV show Suits, has traveled to London, England as her first stop on her book tour.” The woman announced, looking at her cohost. “So what do you think?”

“Well, based off of the Instagram posts, she and Tom are going to hang out. And there are a few pictures circulating the web of them meeting at her hotel and leaving together.” The other female announcer replied. “Now Anna, both have stated, separately, that they are just friends. But the fans have seemed to not believe that much.”

“True Susanna, Tom’s fans are beginning to call the ships Osterland and Toxi.” Anna answered with a wide smile. “It’s beginning to be hashtagged across the internet. And photos are being circulated around fan blogs.”

I rolled my eyes. “Seriously? This is what they want to talk about?”

“Look how cute she is with those two!” Susanna exclaimed. “I mean, Lexi fits perfectly with both boys. Either way it would be perfect.”

“Oh my word, let the ship wars begin.” I thought.“Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?!”

“There was a poll put up online, made by Buzzfeed, and so far Toxi is winning the most fans!’ Anna added.

“GAAAH!” I groaned and muted the TV. “Nope, nope, not today.”

I heard a knock at my door, so I rolled off my bed and slid over to the door. Damian was standing holding his makeup kit. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was messy.

“Whoa there Damian, are you okay?” I asked, taking a step back. “Did you even sleep last night?”

“Honestly, I barely slept. But I’ll be okay.” Damian replied, trying to smile. “Now let’s make you lookfaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous!”

I laughed and nodded. I knew that Damian didn’t really want to tell me what was going on. So I let him keep that to himself and began to talk about other things.

“So, any new news?” I inquired.

“Oh honey….” Damian laughed.

“Spill the tea.” I demanded. “Spill it now.”

Damian’s eyes sparkled. “Well, I bet you’ve already heard about the polls about which British boy should be your bae.”

I rolled my eyes, laughed, and nodded, but gestured for him to continue talking.

“Well, I think that is adorable, but also a wee bit creepy.” Damian continued, pulling out his makeup brushes. “I think you’d look good with both…. But I like Harrison the best.”

“Oooooo, you like Osterland!” I laughed. “Cool, I think. That is a wee bit creepy. But that’s fine bro, you do you boo.”

Damian laughed and shrugged. I was glad that I had moderately distracted him from the drama of yesterday.

Damian finished up my makeup and we stood to leave.

“Hey D?” I began. “Remember, I love you and you are a great person and I will personally fight anyone who says otherwise.”

Damian smiled at me. “Thanks, Ally-bug.”

Now I have many nicknames, compliments of my name. So from Alexis, my friends have gotten: Alex, Ally, Ally-bug, Al(I have terrible memories with that one), Lexis, Lexington, Lexi, Lex, Alexa(Seriously ever since Amazon came out with that thing….), Lav(Don’t ask, only Maddy is allowed to use that one).

Damian always calls me Ally-bug when we have a brother-sister moment. I was glad to have him around even when we bickered and just were plain annoying.

We walked out the door and standing outside was Cleo. I inhaled sharply and took a step back. It’s not like I wasn’t expecting her to be there, I just forgot that she had a thing for lurking. I forced myself to smile at her. Cleo smiled back, however it looked like a grimace.

“Ready to go, Cleo?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Let’s get this over with shall we?” She retorted.

I rolled my eyes and glided past her to the elevator. Damian was right on my heels and Cleo took up the rear. She looked as if she was herding cats and I felt like I was being tracked by a Doberman.

We entered the elevator and took the slow, awkward ride to the first floor. When the door opened we were bombarded by paparazzi and my security detail quickly made a large gap between me and the cameras. I smiled at one of the photographers and kept walking. Photography made me think of my two friend Joseph and Patrick. I had a lot of friends that I kept tabs on as I traveled.

We arrived at my entourages vehicles and quickly got in. Cameras were everywhere and the flashes were blinding. As soon as my butt hit the seat, I leaned back and exhaled. Cleo was sitting across from me with her legs crossed and her lips pursed.

“Alright kid, you know the drill.” Cleo hissed.

“Yep! Sign my books, speak a bit about my series, answer questions, and smile for photos.” I replied, giving Cleo a thumbs up.

She nodded, confirming my assessment of the day. Cleo stayed silent for the rest of the drive, looking at her phone. Damian was filing his nails, as he does when he is nervous. So I took it upon myself to gaze out the window like an emo child. The London sights passed by my window in a blur.

Soon we arrived at the bookstore I was featured in. I did a nervous shiver and put a smile on my face. Outside of the bookstore where screaming girls and boys alike. I laughed with surprise and happiness.

As soon as I got out of the car, the screams got louder. I waved at the fans and smiled. I was ushered inside by my security detail. I quickly sat down and picked up a pen.

“Alright ladies and gents! Let the hand cramping commence!” I cheered.

My security guards chuckled and opened the door. A whole flood of people swarmed into the building. I was a bit overwhelmed but I continued to smiled and looked up at the first person at my table. Between young girls and full grown men, my fanbase was actually quite large. After the last person came through the line and was ushered into the seating room, where I’d answer questions and all jazz, my hand was cramping hardcore.

I walked in, sat down on my stool, and smiled.

“Hey everyone!” I waved. “Glad you all made it and got here safely. So according to my schedule, I’m gonna tell you about how I came up with this book series…. That alright by you guys?”

The room erupted into cheers.

“Alright, I’ll take that as a solid yes.” I grinned. “When I was eight years old, I came up for the idea for ‘Drila, Land of the Exiled’. I was, and still am, a very imaginative child. I loved the thought of being able to transform into a dragon or any animal for that matter…. Well any animal except spiders, those things are freaking scary!”

Laughter peppered the air.

“Anyway, Drila initially began as a daydream I would have before I would fall asleep. I was Nickie, the sassy, snarky, badass little sister. The only girl in a herd of boys, which as much as I based this off of my family, my sister and I are combined as Nickie. And unlike, this loveable heroine, I only have four brothers not six.” I took a deep breath before continuing, “Anyway, I felt like a whole world of exiles destined to change the fate of their world and of earth’s was the best freaking idea I had ever had.”

I took a breath and smiled. “And so, I began to write in a little notebook. I didn’t have my own laptop, so I made do with what I could. Also, my brain moved faster than I could type way back then. So thus Drila, the Land of the Exiled began. I wrote as much as I could and when I ran out of ideas, I daydreamed, watched tv, and read to fill up my creative juices. When I finished my baby, I began to type it up. I would also explain my ideas to my friends and anyone who asked. Once, when I was 16, someone told me that I stole my ideas from “The Hunger Games”, to which I replied with a growl and a snap, “Yeah, I was 8 when I came up for this, The friggin’ Hunger Games didn’t exist then.” Sassy then, sassy now. And that’s the hella short version of how I came up with this book series.”

The crowd laughed and cheered. I beamed and took a sip of my water.

“Next on the agenda, oh how I loathe agendas, is a little Q and A. So what questions do y’all have for me?” I inquired. “And if you wouldn’t mind, introduce yourself. I like meeting new people and I am crap with names.”

The group laughed and a wave of whispers sprayed across the room. Finally a young girl, black hair and hazel eyes, around the age of 12, stood and the microphone was passed to her.

“Hi… My name is Anne and I wanted to ask you about your inspiration for the character Reaper?” Anne quickly spoke into the mic.

“Ah, the infamous Reaper!” I grinned. “Awesome question Anne! So Reaper is like an extension of myself if I was an emo boy. Ha, but seriously, Reaper steams from those negative emotions I have and his quick temper is very similar to mine when I was younger. Reaper feels a lot and understands more than he lets on. Which is what I often did when I was the youngest in the group. Reaper is a major powerhouse and a force to be reckoned with, which again is what I became as I got older. Sorry for the long answer but Reaper, in essence, is me.”

Anne beamed and sat back down. The mic was passed down the line to my assistants in the rows.

More questions flooded in and I answered them all with my own sassy flair. Luckily, no one asked about Tom and Haz. Honestly, it was the farthest thing from my mind as I went to take photos with my fans.

After that event was over, I collapsed into the seat of my car. I was exhausted and felt like I had run thousands of miles. (And honey I don’t exercise.) I sighed contentedly and looked over at Damian and then at Cleo. Both seemed as exhausted as I was, which was fine with me. I opened up Instagram and posted a few photos from the event.“Awesome time with my fans! Love you all thanks for supporting me through this adventure! #littlelexithings #fansmakemyday #drilalandoftheexiled #cantwaittodothisagain”.

I put my phone in my lap and looked out the window. I thought of my friends and hoped they were doing good. I prayed softly for them, it had been awhile since I had heard from the majority of my companions. Most of them were in Europe, while some were in the States. We had met at a Bible school, it was one of the best years of my life.

My phone vibrated and I picked it up.

“OOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I squealed.

Damian and Cleo looked at me with a mix of shock and horror.

“Uh dude, what the hell?” Damian finally spoke, breaking out of his stupor.

“Nothing.” I replied. “Just friend of mine texted me. Sorry, just lemme be excited about this!”

Yeah, I wasn’t going to tell them about my Austrian friend. Damian would lord that over me for the rest of my life. It had been a solid 3 weeks since we had talked. We meet at the Bible school, I had attended in my home state. Now while Damian thought I had never gotten over James, which was sorta true, there were more boys then I let on. Now I was the perpetually single sibling, which sucked but as I probably have said before, I’m used to it. Now I developed a crush on Patrick, the Austrian. Yep, this was my friend who did photography, he also was a hella amazing chef. (You’ll understand soooo much more later) But that isn’t the point, Cleo and I had agreed that once I was done with my book tour, I would be allowed to come back to Europe and travel. During that time, Damian would be given time off and he was going to go visit his family. Cleo, of course, was going to keep tabs on my publicity. I would only have a few security guards with me during this time. So essentially I could visit my brother in Spain and Patrick in Austria and just travel in general. Of course, I would go and visit Tom and Harrison.

After my book tour was finished and I made my last stop. I went home to Colorado to see my family. Most of my siblings came home to see me. Specifically, my brothers and their wives and their kids. And my sister and her girlfriend. They interrogated me about my friendship with Tom and Harrison, which I gladly answered all the questions. We were all sitting in the living room, talking, laughing, and watching the children.

It was good to finally be home and be with the people who couldn’t care less that I was famous. They kept me grounded when no one else could. It was my mission for them.

Soon after, I was all packed and in a plane to Spain. I had my earbuds in and was drawing in my sketchbook. I was wearing my Manly Beach, Australia hoodie, blue jeans, and converse. Thankfully, I had a window seat. Next to me was a preteen girl and what appeared to be her older brother. The girl was reading my book and grinning. The boy had his headphones in and was watching the tv. I went back to my sketching and was switching out my colored pencils when we hit a patch of turbulence and my eraser went flying onto the girl’s book.

“Oh fadoodle cakes.” I hissed, glaring at my wayward eraser.

“Oh here you- Oh my gosh! You’re Alexis Scanlan! You wrote this book!” The girl squealed holding my eraser.

“Uh, yeah… Hi there…” I grinned. “That’s me! And you are?”

“Oh. I’m Piper!” Piper quickly replied, handing me my eraser.

“Nice to meet you.” I took my eraser back and grinned. “So, be honest, what do you think of the book?”

“Oh, I love it!” Piper exclaimed. “I really like the siblings! I mean, I like Connor and Max.”

“Oh awesome!!!! They’re a pretty good pair.” I grinned.

“But Reaper and Nickie are like my brother and me.” She continued.

“Oh awesome!” I nodded. “I let you get back to reading.”

She smiled and reopened her book. I went back to my sketch. The trip didn’t seem to last much longer after that. We landed in Madrid. Piper and her brother exited the plane, I grinned because when she opened to the front cover I had left her a note.

I quickly grabbed my luggage and hailed a cab. I was going to meet with my brother at the train station and I couldn’t wait to see them. When they had come home on furlough, I hadn’t been able to visit them. And I had promised my nieces and nephew that I would come and give them some gifts.

My phone buzzed with a text from Tom.

Tom: “Hey Lex!!!! Saw the photos from your book signing! It looked amazing!”

Me: “Aw, thanks Tom!!! It was really amazing and the fans were so supportive and fun.”

Tom: “So are you coming to London again?”

Me: “I have a few stops before I’ll be coming to visit you and Tessa.”

Tom: “Wait, where are you going?”

Me: “To see my oldest brother A.J. obviously! Well him, his wife, and their kiddos. I haven’t seen them in sooooooo long! So I’m in Spain, then I’m going to be traveling around Europe.”

Tom: “Oh epic! Tell them Spider-Man says hi!!!!”

Me: “Elijah would love that! He loves Spider-Man! Well Batman is first, but Spider-Man is pretty darn close.”

Tom: “Ew no! BATMAN! BATMAN BEAT ME?!?!?!”

Me: “Dude, hakuna your tatas, he’s like 6 dude.”

My stop finally arrived and I quickly exited the train. Most of my luggage, which actually wasn’t that much, was with my security in France. I had my purse, backpack, and a small suitcase with me. I looked just like any other tourist, which was fine with me. Most of the time the paparazzi couldn’t find me anyway.

“AUNT LEXI!” A small female voice shrieked.

I whipped around to locate the voice. Jumping up and down were my two nieces, Rachel and Lissie, and my nephew, Elijah.

“Minions!” I shouted back and quickly walked to them.

I was mobbed by the kids. I hugged my brother and his wife.

“Oh my goodness it is good to see you!” I exclaimed. “You have to tell me everything that you have been up too!”

“Yeah, but let’s get moving to the house and we can talk then.” A.J. said.

I nodded and we began walking. Rachel and Elijah began bombarding me with information on what they had been doing the last couple days. Mainly they had school, but they loved school. Lucky them, just wait till they get hit with Algebra.

We arrived at the house and the kiddos ran off to play with their toys. A.J., Kristin, and I sat in the living room.

“How was your flight?” Kristin asked.

“Actually, it was really good! I was sitting by a girl who loved my book!” I answered with a smile. “She was a sweetheart.”

“Oh that’s really cool Lex.” A.J. commented. “We heard about you and Tom Holland…”

“Oh good heavens, we are just friends A.J.!!” I groaned. “Come on dude, not you too!”

They laughed and A.J. just shrugged. The kids came barreling into the room in their superhero costumes. Elijah was Ironman. Rachel was Black Widow and Lissie was Hawkeye.

“Oh look at that! My favorite heroes!” I clapped. “Guess what Elijah?”

“What?” Elijah asked, looking up at me with his big, brown eyes.

“Spider-Man told me to say hi.”

“Really?!”

“Yep!”

“Cool! Tell him hi!” Elijah cheered.

“Of course dude!” I unlocked my phone to alert Tom to my nephew’s joy.

Me: “Yo Tommy boy! My nephew says hi to Spider-Man.”

Tom: “Awwww, I’m glad. How is it so far?”

Me: “Uh dude, it is freaking awesome! The kiddos are running around screaming and later we are going to go walk around an sightsee. I’m only here for a couple days so I have to spend as much time with them as possible.”

Tom: “Where is your next stop?”

Me: “Uh, France. Why?”

Tom: “Mind if I meet you there?”

Me: “Well of course not! That would be awesome!”

Tom: “Epic!”

The rest of my time with family was fun. But all good things must come to an end. Before I knew it I was back on a plane headed to France. I had hugged my brother and his family goodbye and entered the train station alone. I reflected on all of this on my plane ride to Paris. I knew Tom was gonna meet me there, but it made me worried about everyone else would say. Mainly the media was my concern, but that wasn’t too big of a deal. I could handle shitty press all the time. I leaned back in my seat, Cleo made me get first class seating for this flight. I felt weird being up with all those rich folks. I put my headphones in and began blasting Marianas Trench into my brain.

“And I thought you'd feel the same as me. It's time that I come clean, but, But for now can we just both pretend to sleep. Sometimes the one you want is not the one you need. What goes around don't come around. You should know me by now.” I whispered to myself.

The view from the plane window was breathtaking. The ocean was spreading towards the horizon. The sun was setting so the sky was turning orange and pink. I snapped a picture and posted. “Sunsets, when viewed from the window of a plane, is sooooo freaking amazing!!! As I once read, “When an artist dies, God lets them paint the sky to say goodbye.” #littlelexithings #amazing #stunning.”

I leaned back in my chair, once again, and closed my eyes. I knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep, but I couldn’t keep staring at my phone screen.

The plane descended down to the airport. I quickly grabbed my carry-on and sped walked out of the plane to the baggage claim. Upon retrieving my luggage, I made my way to the front of the airport, since I needed to meet my security detail.

“LEXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“What in the name of - HOLY SWEET BABY JESUS!” I was glomped from behind and almost fell over.

“Helloooooo.” A voice, sounding like pre-teen boy, met my ears.

“Tom… Your American accent sucks.” I sighed.

“Wow, savage.” Tom commented, poking my side and letting me go.

“As always.” I winked and adjusted my shoulder bag. “You need to not glomp me though you dork, I almost punched you.”

“Oh please, as if.” Tom rolled his eyes.

We began to continue our trek to the front of the airport. People were pointing and whispering. I just pulled on my hoodie and kept my eyes toward the ground. I wasn’t about to be mass mobbed by screaming teenage girls who would murder me if there was an inkling of suspicion that I was with Tom. We made it to the doors and both of us went to our separate enturages.

“Hey Chet.” I said, sliding into the backseat.

“Hello Lexi, how was your flight?” Chet asked starting up the car.

“It was good, first class is weird for me though.” I answered, shrugging off my shoulder bag. “How are you?”

“I’m doing well, thanks for asking.” Chet smiled at me and began driving.

My phone buzzed and I groaned.

“You have got to be kidding me…. Oh. It’s Tom.”

Tom: “Lexi, I know we literally just said goodbye… But would you want to meet by the Eiffel Tower tomorrow at 7AM?”

Me: “7 in the morning? You are a barbarian. -_- Sure why not! I hadn’t made an itinerary yet.”

Tom: “Awesome! Don’t be late!”

Me: “You clearly have never met me…. I’m never late. I arrive precisely when I mean to.”

We arrived at my hotel and brought my things to my room. My entire entourage was chilling in the room moving stuff around.

“Hey boys! Miss me?” I asked, dramatically sliding into the room.

Chet chuckled behind me and set down my suitcase. There was a chorus of “Yeah”s and “Hey Lexi!”s. I hugged each one of the boys and began to pull my clothes out of the suitcases and hang them up. Later that day, I was sitting on my bed inhaling a croissant and minding my own business, when Chet barged into my room.

“HOLY CHEESE BISCUITS!” I yelped throwing my croissant at Chet.

“What in the world?!” Chet exclaimed, catching the flying pastry.

“Have you heard of, OH I DUNNO, KNOCKING?!?!?!” I shouted, throwing my pillow at him.

“Alright, alright, I get it. Breathe Alex, breathe.” Chet chuckled, handing me my pastry and sitting down on the lounge chair. “You need to rest up, which you seem to be doing just fine. And then you’ll have to tell me your plans so we can keep tabs on you.”

“I’m meeting Tom Holland at the Eiffel Tower tomorrow.” I replied, laying down. “That’s all I have planned for now.”

“You sure that is a good idea with all the press?” Chet asked, raising his brow.

“It will be fine!” I exclaimed. “Gooooosssshhhhhhh.”

“Oh don’t you groan at me shortstop.” Chet replied. “I get paid to keep your skinny ass safe.”

“I’m black, nothing on me is skinny.” I snorted.

Chet rolled his eyes and stood up. “Rest up Alex. I’ll check in on you in a bit.”

As soon as he walked out the door, I fell back and closed my eyes. Napping would’ve been great, but for some reason my body decided that it was not time for a nap. Oh no, that would have been nice, but instead I sat up and turned on the celebrity news station instead. They were mainly talking about the French actors and actresses. Now that was refreshing. It hadn’t been very long since the gossip sections blew up with pictures of Tom and me. I fell back and scrolled through my instagram page. Not much had changed, except all the comments on my photo. My small fan following always brought a smile to my face. As I made my way through the comments and replied to them, I got a notification that I was tagged in a post.

“Who would have posted a photo of me….?” I muttered. “Harrison?”

The photo wasn’t recent, because last time I hung out with them both was at least 2 months ago. The photo was one of the many that Tom’s mom Nicki had taken when I was there. However, it brought a smile to my face. I liked the post and stared at it for a couple minutes. It was the three of us sitting on a fence. I was between the boys, we were all laughing our heads off. I was holding a small bunch of flowers with a few scattered in my hair. Tom was pointing at Harrison and Harrison was shrugging. Nicki had told us to just interact like we normally would. And so we did. The photo blew up with likes and comments.

Sassy but Classy “Oh she is so lucky!”

Marzipan “Attention whore! Get lost no one likes you @lexis_scanlan.”

Key “Hey Marzipan leave her alone! She is amazing!”

@osterlandrules “OH YAS OSTERLAND 4 LIFE!!!!”

@lilacsandrainbows “No! Toxi for life! She is waaaaaaaaaaaay to good for Harrison!”

@dreams2befollowed “Ew, who does she think she is? Like girl go get a life. You ugly hoe.”

Marisol “YEAH GO HOME @lexis_scanlan YOU ARE SO UGLY!”

@tearsofangels “Such a stupid bitch. Doesn’t she realized that we’d all be better off if she was gone?”

I put down my phone and rolled my eyes. The hate was hard to read. But the ship wars were getting to be a bit much. I was never going to date Tom, at least I wasn’t planning on it. Relationships and I just didn’t mix. There were too many bad memories from failed crushes and that one relationship that I never wanted to talk about.

I layed down and closed my eyes. I would have sunk into a well of sorrow if it wasn’t for the fact exhaustion took over and I fell into a dreamless slumber. I was out until my alarm went off for the next day, at 6AM. I hit my phone and sat up.

“Good lord….” I rubbed my eyes. “Why Tom, why have I agreed to this? Tell me whyyyyyy.”

I sat up and walked over to my closet. I grabbed my red plaid, sleeveless dress and my red converse and put them on. I clasped on my camera necklace and grabbed my camera themed backpack, phone case and cameras. Today was a themed day and I had no regrets. I grabbed my roomkey and was out the door. As the elevator doors closed behind me, I sent Chet a text informing him that I was leaving for the Eiffel Tower. I stepped out of the elevator and beelined it to the exit. As soon as I was outside the cool air smacked into me.

“Aaaaahhhh yaaaaaaaaaaaaas.” I thought, “Can you feel the love tonight? Oh good lord Lexi this is why you are single.”

I pulled out my phone and put in my earbuds. I turned on “I like me better” by Lauv and began walking towards the Eiffel tower. I bobbed my head along with my music and practically skipped most of the way there. My phone buzzed, which caused me to slow down a bit. (Don’t text and walk kids! You could walk into a pole.)

Tom: “Hey Lexi! I’m almost to the tower, where are you?”

Me: “Well to be honest, I dunno, I just know I can see the tower and it is getting bigger.”

Tom: “Ah yes, because that makes it so much easier to find you.”

Me: “Shut up!”

Me: “Lemme send you a pin of my location at the moment.”

Tom: “Got it.”

Tom: “You are slow.”

Me: “Child I will end you.”

Tom: “Nah, you love me.”

Me: “Debatable.”

I continued walking and got to a crosswalk. Tom called me literally .2 seconds later.

“Duuuude whaaaaaaaaaat?!” I groaned.

“I can see you hold up.” Tom replied.

I didn’t see him, but that wasn’t uncommon for me to not see what was right in front of me. I turned to the right briefly, and regretted it. Freaking Tom grabbed my sides and scared the crap out of me.

“HOLY SNICKERDOODLES IN HELL!” I shouted, removing myself from his grasp.

“Seriously?” Tom asked, laughing at me.

“Child you wanna die?” I snapped, flipping my hair out of my eyes.

Tom held up his hands in surrender and grinned. I rolled my eyes and turned away and started to walk away.

“Aw hey! Lexi don’t be like that.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me to a full stop. “I’m sorry. Don’t leave me here alone.”

“Eh whatever.” I pulled my arm away and laughed. “Don’t ever scare me like that again!”

Tom snickered and pulled me across the street. “Come on Lexi! We’re almost there!”

I stumbled behind him and almost took out a random French woman.

“Sorry!” I called back. “Tom, slow down! As Baymax once said, ‘I am not fast’.”

Tom winced and slowed down. I caught up and grinned at him. We walked in a comfortable silence and I gazed at the sights. After a little while, Tom pulled me to a stop and turned my head. We had arrived. It was as breathtaking as I imagined it to be.

“Holy…..” I exhaled.

“Pretty amazing huh?” Tom asked looking at me with a grin.

“Amazing?! It’s freaking fantastic! I just- WOW!” I turned to him, bouncing on my toes and began to take picures.

Tom grinned and poked my cheek. I slapped away his hand and rolled my eyes. We stood looking up at the Tower looming above us. I exhaled slowly and turned to Tom.

“Alright, I guess staring at this architectural wonder is great, but now I’m hungry.” I said, my stomach growling to punctuate my point.

“Whoa there.” Tom laughed, tapping my stomach. “There is this really cool French cafe you’d love! I’ll buy!”

“What’s it called?” I asked “Wait no Tom don’t pay!”

“It’s called Bistrot de la tour Eiffel!” Tom replied. “No it’s my treat! I made you get up this early, it is the least I can do!”

“Toooooooommmmmm.” I groaned. “Not cool dude.”

“You’re my friend! And I made you get up and hang out with me.” Tom grinned, pulling me into a steady walking pace.

I rolled my eyes and kept walking. Tom slipped his hand into mine when we walked into a large group of people. He gave me a small grin and I smiled back. I held hands with my friends all the time, mainly so I wouldn’t lose them in a crowd or something. We made it to the little cafe and got seated. The staff seemed to recognize Tom right off the bat. I was just another face in the crowd at the moment, which honestly was one of the reasons I could walk out of my hotel room without having a security detail. Anyway, Tom and I ordered off the menu. I struggled with the French and continued to apologise for messing all the words up. The waiter didn’t seem to mind, just smiled, and told me that he was glad that I tried. As soon as the waiter left, I pulled out my phone to take a selfie.

“Tom lean over. It’s selfie time.” I chirped.

Tom squinted at me and smiled. I took a quick picture and nodded. It was a good one. Tom pulled out his phone, but I paid no mind until he started talking.

“Hey guys! Just chilling in France with one of my favorite humans! Say hi Lexi!” Tom said, looking at me.

“Oh come on Tom! I’m not even wearing makeup! Or even look that good.” I groaned, covering my face.

“Come on! I know you’re not shy!” Tom pleaded.

“Fiiiiiiiiine.” I shrugged, lowering my hands. “Hey everyone!”

“She’s tired. Because we got up at 6 to see the sunrise! So, I’m getting her breakfast, like the awesome friend I am.” Tom said, winking at the camera.

He put his phone down and looked me.

“What?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

“You look concerned.” Tom replied. “My fans love you!”

“Most of them Tom…. Some of them would rather have my head on a pike and me being burned.” I replied, running my hands through my hair. “Tom, have you even read the comments on your posts with me in them?! Or even Harrison’s?”

Tom looked me dead in the eye and placed his hand over mine. “Yeah, I have. But that doesn’t change the fact that we are friends! Heck people bullied Jacob all the time, but that changes nothing.”

“But-” I began to object.

“Shhhhh no. No buts.” Tom interrupted me. “Oh look! Food’s coming.”

I turned expectantly toward the waiter and grinned. My stomach rumbled in anticipation. Tom laughed at me, as the waiter set down my food.

“Merci!” I chirped.

The waiter smiled at me as he walked away. Tom picked up his phone and quickly took a picture of us with our plates. As soon as Tom put his phone down, we dug into our food. We sat eating in silence, just listening to the tourists and the locals chatting around us. It was nice to just relax and not think about the real world.

We finally began to talk after making it halfway through out meals. We were laughing and talking about basic things. Tom told me all about how his family was doing and gushed about Tessa. I gushed about my nieces and nephews and my family. We discussed future acting jobs and I explained my book tour. Tom told me I should audition for this movie he was trying for. To that, I almost laughed. Me? In a movie with Tom? That was a dream that wasn’t going to happen. But I agreed that I would look into it.

Tom paid our bill. We exited the building and began walking down the street. My phone dinged, so naturally I looked at it.

“Sweet baby Jesus….” I muttered. “Tom, check this out.”

Tom took my phone and snorted. “Wow, they are fast.”

Covering my phone screen was an array of photos of Tom and me. Us at the Eiffel Tower. Us walking hand in hand to the cafe. Us eating our meal laughing.

I was impressed and slightly horrified. With all true honesty, I had never gotten used to the attention I received from the paparazzi. You could’ve been eating a baguette in a bikini on the Caribbean and they would it it up. Y’all think I’m joking. Yeah nope, I’m not.

Anywaaaaaay, Tom and I continued on our way. I took pictures of the flowers and the skyline. Tom was doing a live video next to me, chatting away with his fans.

“Lexi! Rachel Santiago says ‘Hello!!!!!’ to you!” Tom said, turning the phone towards me.

“Oh hello Rachel! Hope you are having a great day!” I smiled at the camera and waved.

Tom beamed at me and continued talking. And I continued to take all the photos. We didn’t need to talk much, because of the livestream. And honestly, walking in silence was okay with me. We walked, the long way, back to the tower.

“Hey Lexi?”

“Yeah Tom?”

“This was fun. We need to do this more often.”

I ran my hands through my hair and grinned. “I would love that!”

We stopped at the bottom of the tower.

“Wanna go up?” Tom asked.

“Oh heeeelllllll no.” I said quickly.

“What? Why?”

“Afraid of heights.” I replied, shrugging. “I thought I told you that already.”

Tom shrugged. “Maybe, I’ll hold your hand if you want….”

“I would rather die….” I muttered.

“If you don’t want to we don’t have to.” Tom replied.

“Well since I’m here, I should…..” I mused. “Alright, let’s do it. Just let me hold onto you for reassurance.”

“Of course, there’s an elevator.” Tom said, guiding me towards the tower. “I wouldn’t make you walk up stairs.”

“Good, cuz that was never going to happen.” I grinned, twisting my ring around my finger.

“Just remember, I’ve got you.” Tom said, looking into my eyes and grabbing my hands.

I grinned at him weakly. I was nowhere near being ready for this moment. But I took a deep breath and began forcing my legs to take me to the elevator. We stepped inside, with a large amount of tourists. Most of them were to busy talking to each other to even notice the fact that to celebrities were pressed up against them, which I was fine with. I grabbed Tom’s hand and squeezed it tight, as I could feel my anxiety kicking in. Tom smiled down at me and squeezed my hand back. We arrived at the top and exited the elevator.

My heart practically stopped beating when the wind met me. I froze and turned to Tom.

“I-I can’t.” I whispered.

I lifted my hands in defeat, every part of my body just froze. Tom seemed to understand my discomfort.

“Alright, we’ll get you down, just let’s get out of the way first.” Tom said gently.

I nodded, took a deep breath, and moved forward. As much as my body wanted to turn the fuck around and get out, I forced it to move. I inched forward with Tom right beside me. As soon as the people were out of the way, we entered the elevator and began the ride back down. I looked down at my hands in shame. Oh, how I wished I could have just kept it together for a little bit longer. Why did I have to shut down all the time?

The intrusive thoughts took over and I felt the tears brimming in my eyes. Stupid, stupid, stupid….

The door opened and I stumbled out, quickly brushing the tears off my cheeks.

“Lexi? Are you okay?” Tom asked, touching my shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m all good.” I replied quickly, giving him a thumbs up.

Tom cocked his head at me and didn’t reply. I could tell he didn’t believe me. But that wasn’t really what I was concerned about at that moment. What caught my attention was the small mob of paparazzi that seemed to have materialized out of freaking nowhere.

“Oh shit.” Tom exhaled looking the same direction I was frowning at. “They are fucking fast.”

“Yeah, that ain’t right.” I nodded. “Welp, I’m done here.”

I turned around and grabbed Tom’s hand. I pulled him into the crowd, weaving through the tourists. I wasn’t sure if I had gotten us out of the site of the mob of cameras. But, I didn’t really care too much. It was already too late to keep ourselves hidden completely. I shook my head and crossed my arms turning to look at Tom. He stopped and smiled at me.

“You are fast! You liar.” Tom exclaimed laughing.

“Nooooo….” I muttered, running my hands through my hair. “I was just motivated to get the fuck out.”

Tom just shook his head and we kept walking. But all good things have to come to an end, my phone buzzed with the alert that it was time for me to head back to the hotel. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to have to go face the reality otherwise known as “Dealing with Cleo”.

“I hate to do this, but I have to go back and face the wrath of Cleo.” I turned to face him with a frown. “I get to discuss my schedule for my book tour and then some different auditions I might want to check out, ya know.”

“Yeah, that makes sense…” Tom replied, nodding. “I understand completely. I’ll walk you back.”

And thus, that was the end of my day with Tom. Tom didn’t say anything as we walked past the tourists and over the bridges. I kept my hands at my sides and looked at the ground. Cleo was gonna rip into me, that was for certain. Damian told me that I had a lot of clothing fittings and style choices for the evening. Media was screaming at me to date/get my shit together. Tom looked at me with a small smile and squeezed my hand. We arrived at the hotel. I said a quick goodbye to Tom. As I turned to go into the hotel, Tom grabbed my hand and pulled me back. The kiss to my temple was fast, as if it never happened. I stumbled into the hotel. My mind was on a thousand things at once. My dreams. Those ships. And the OTP wars.

#the three musketeers #tom holland #harrison osterfield #imagine #fanfiction #tom holland imagine #harrison osterfeild imagine #wynneinrome

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