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#im trying to figure out what oil they used in their base to make it antimicrobial
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Got my souvenirs
Freeze dried skittles and handmade watercolors made by the owners of the art shop i got them at
They grind their own pigments and everything
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Their business card is a 6inch ruler
#we dont have any good specialty art shops in Lawrence#we have a couple of places downtown that are kinda similar but they pretty much only have name brand stuff#nothing made locally#if it wasnt so expensive to start a business in Lawrence i might have a niche for handmade paints there#im trying to figure out what oil they used in their base to make it antimicrobial#cuz it smells really good lol#like my paints smell very strongly of cinnamon#im assuming clove oil since thats most common.....but idk if i can identify clove by smell#smells christmas-y tho#if i was more outgoing i mightve asked the owner some questions about it#my mom tried to talk me into getting the watercolor kit that had some little pieces of watercolor paper and a pencil and a brush#and i was like ''i have all that tho'' and she was like ''but then you could use them now.''#''.....yea. i have all that WITH me.'' like. im not gonna travel without my favorite art supplies lol#i gave up suitcase space for my giant watercolor sketchbook just in case i wanted to paint#i have MOSTLY travel watercolor sets and brought all of them with me in my pencil bag#i specifically filled up all my watercolor brushes with water the night before we left and made sure i had my favorite mechanical pencil#(which btw if you have executive dysfunction and like to paint with watercolors i highly recommend the watercolor brushes you fill#with water. i paint way more than i used to cuz i dont have to fill a cup with water any time i wanna paint)#i have my regular sketchbook#i even brought my sudoku book and a couple pens in case i felt like playing sudoku#i dont travel without my bag of activities. i may not always do the activities i bring but i like to have options#at least its better than when i was a kid cuz i tried to bring activities AND like 5 stuffed animals#my suitcase was usually half stuffed animals#i also usually had a few shoved into my pillowcase with my blanky
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sugarcandydoll · 2 months
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hi dolly I'm trying to enter my girly era and you clearly know a lot about it based on your aesthetic and stuff! I was wondering if you could give me some advice or tips on being more girly and hyper feminine?🩷
aww aww angel im so flattered omgg ♡🎀 but don't think im the perfect example of a girly girl cause im so messy n emotional n disorganized :(♡ but i do love pinky n glam fashion n aesthetics hehe so i can totally share some tips on that ♡👛 also pls pls remember there is no right way to be a girly girl ♡💞 those are just tips n advice from my own experience abt what makes me feel girly n happy hehe ♡👼🏼
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🎀 Fashion
browse outfits on pinterest n make moodboards to find ur style hehe ♡ shein is also amazing for finding cute girly pieces for cheap!! i usually shop my pinky n barbiecore outfits from shein!! ♡ if u want inspo here is a link to my pinterest fashion board ♡ i love wearing crop tops, matching sets, cute dresses n skirts, white tights w heart patterns ♡ for my comfy n lazy day i go along with pink graphic sweatshirt w cute print on it like bambi or disney princess hehehe ♡ also get cute lingerie n pjs it's gonna make u feel like a lil princess ♡
🎀 Makeup
if ur into makeup, play with different look n choose whatever makes u feel the prettiest! ♡ my personal fav makeup look is a full face of makeup with frosty pink eyeshadow ♡ lots of white highlight on inner corners of eyes n nose tip ♡ black winged eyeliner ♡ white eyeliner on waterline ♡ cat eye faux lashes ♡ lots of blush, n too faced lip plumping gloss along with pinky lipstick hehe ♡ i also sometimes wear brown circle lenses to give that dolly look to my eyes ♡
🎀 Hair
pls pls take care of ur hair (it's smth i need to get better at cause i fried my hair w bleach) my fav hair care tip is too deep oil it w coconut oil ♡ choose a shampoo & conditioner that smells good n works for u ♡ if ur into dyeing ur hair play w colors hehe ♡ i personally loved a reddish brown and then later a light blonde on me ♡👸🏼💕 but now wanna switch things up cause blonde maintainance is getting too expensive n i feel bad wasting soo much of my dad's money on my hair :( so i might get back to like a caramel brown hehe ♡ i also love curling my hair n putting hair extensions n cute girly accessories like bows n pink barretes n huge pink scrunchies ♡
🎀 Nails
get ur nails n toes done often hehe ♡💅🏼 i love the whole salon experience of mani/pedi but since i don't work anymore n live w my parents i wanna be more frugal :(♡ so press ons are my bffs hehehe n i love putting press ons on my toes too hehe ♡ u can find a lot of cute press on nails on amazon n etsy ♡ i usually go for pink medium length nails either plain or w a cute pattern n rhinestones ♡ i sometimes love going with colors like red, baby blue, purple, n a leopard pattern too hehe ♡ my fav nail shape is coffin or stiletto ♡ but go along with whatever makes ur hands look pretty ♡🫶🏼💗
🎀 Accessories
get cute jewelery n accessories hehehe ♡🧁 i usually buy my cutesy pink jewelry from shein ♡ n i love carrying pink bags n purses ♡ my fav for school is definitely my victoria's secret's carry all pink tote hehehe ♡ i also love wearing rings n toe rings n anklets w little bells on it to jingle when i walk hehe ♡ also also i love getting a necklace w my fav fictional character's initial on it oops ♡ i also love wearing cute pink hair accessories like bows n barrettes n huge pink scrunchie ♡ or if i want my hair up i use a huge pink claw clip ♡
🎀 Smelling Good
perfumes n bodymists are the best hehehe ♡ explore different scents at shops n figure out what u like best!! ♡ my current favs are strawberry snowflakes by bbw & pure seduction shimmer mist by victoria's secret, & tease sugar fleur by victoria's secret ♡ usually go w super super sweet or fruity scents but u don't have to angel ♡🍰 florals n fresh scents are sooo cute too just go along w whatever feels the most you n the best in ur opinion hehe ♡
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kamiliora · 3 months
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Too people who want to get "prettier" and have a "glow up" Do NOT expect it to go over night.
Plenty of people believed that you just become pretty with no effort like you see on TV. It's never that easy. It takes steps, processes and Discipline. Always start with the basics like :
Hygeine
Make a skincare routine for your skin
Know your skin type and build you skincare routine from there
body care for the entire body
Scrubs , lotions and body butters are a must
Exfoliate 1-2 times a week
haircare (hair is everything even if u have a hijab hair care is still possible)
Oil train your hair and know you hair porosity to know what products to use
Use a non sulphate or silicon shampoo
Conditioner and a hair oil of your choice based on your hair problem
Hair mask 1 times a week
Know ur hair pattern to be able to use the right products and not damage your hair pattern
Do not straighten your hair everyday!!!
Use Silk pillows and silk scrunchies instead of elastics!!!
Getting a closet and hair cut for you
Find your best colors and body type
Therefore you would know which colors make you shine the most as well as
Find your seasonal color and which fraction ur in (like winter bright , summer light and etc)
Find which type of hair cuts and bangs suit your facial featured and face shape most
I recommend looksmaxing or the Yt channel Dear Peachie to help you including makeup tutorials, which archetype you are and which closet you can do
Look for styles that match your personality and makes you stand out
Build up a hobby
like sports photography, drawing, crocheting, dancing, and etc.
Doesn't have to be time consuming just something to do when ur bored or free even
Also depends on your time to be careful on what you commit to
Try to explore more options without much costs before fully committing to something that isn't for long-term
Exercise ( unless you already do)
Exercise requires discipline for you to be able to do it continuously for progress
If you can't afford a premium membership take a walk/jog/run around the block,street,park
If you feel unsafe you can do a YouTube work outs as they are effective depending on your goal
I recommend channels like :Madfit ,Hinafit, Shirley kim, April Han, ema wong, and Chloe ting
Take time for yourself (not all the time)
If you dont have time for yourself your body and brain will get stressed (from experience)
It can be as simple as drinking your daily detox water, green juice, coffee, tea or reading a book
Get 8 hours of sleep
Make sure not to stress for something so complete a task when given no matter how far the deadline is!!!
Reduce screen time to 3 hours a day (outside of school/work related stuff)
Diet
Never go too extreme like you see those people online do
Unless you are talking to professionals such as dieticians, Nutritionists and etc. (Bc most public figures do have professionals that they seek help too for these types of situations)
stick to a healthy diet like the 80/20 method
Or you can also do keto/greek/high carb or protein just never go extreme as it will slow down your metabolism
Find who you really are and trying to be better
People never really open up to try different things you should try more to find what you like most or which you are most stable with
See the perspectives on how you act im different situations and see what your mistakes are to try to avoid doing them again
Fix your mentality (watch wizard Liz, Song Jia,) and read quotes to inspire you to do better and the most you can
Always Analyze the situation before commenting or doing action unless its an emergency
Do not let people decide for you or get to your head it is their opinion not yours. You opinion is never invalid and justified in your perspective
Confident vs Arrogant vs Egoistic
Confident people never brag nor do they drag people down. They know they are THAT person and will NOT care about your opinion of them.
Arrogant people like to Brag about something that they have and thinks their all That. They bring down people for not having the luxury they have. But when someone has more and better than them they always try to avoid them, argue with them or get annoyed by them as They want to show supremacy
Egoistic people tend to make fun of people. Self-centered people that only think about themselves without knowing or thinking that they hurt others. Their too preoccupied with themselves to think of others helps or needs
(Sorry its so long and unorganized I made this at 2:30 am bc idk and these are just some tips)
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sanjuwrites · 7 months
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wip wednesday
im usually more active but between seasonal depression (yay!), the end of the semester, and a really intense situation with an ex-roommate, i'm burning out at every end.
i'm stealing the open tag from @alrightbuckaroo as well as tags from @carlos-in-glasses, and @bonheur-cafe!
Carlos scrolls through them, “security seems quite light for the event, doesn’t it? Must be the Cunninghams’ influence, just a little. Just a metal detector and some security at the door. They must be really confident on the weight-sensitive platter of the diamonds – is anyone working on a replica of the diamonds?”
Judd raises his hand slightly, “My son’s workin’ on it, he’s based in London, and he’s the best counterfeiter on this side of the ocean.”
Carlos nods, “do you think he’ll get the weight right? The weight sensitive platter, according to the schematics given to us from Cunningham, is accurate to a few grams to trigger it.”
Judd smiles a little, “The kid’s using cubic zirconia and a heavier silver alloy to get the weight right. We’re operating under the assumption that it’s the same weight sensitive platform that TK scoped out way back when, for a different job that didn’t end up happening.”
Carlos nods, “Okay, good. That sounds good. I can work with that. Paul and I are on the list, and our aliases should hold up, as long as we’re in and out. We figured this was less intrusive than coming as your plus ones, which would leave us up for more scrutiny.”
TK looks pensive, “what is your alias?”
“Rubio Martinez, an ‘oil’ tycoon based out of Venezuela. It’s the most volatile, and no one has ever really been able to prove or disprove that certain drug lords exist there, so it’s easy. Paul is Michael Smith, a corporate lawyer that is known to do work for cartels. Why?”
TK sighs, “I heard back from a contact, my alias failed to clear – the background work was pretty shoddy. I don’t have the kind of contact that can get my name on it again in such short notice. Do you have a plus one?”
Carlos hums, “I’m sure I could get one, but I need to provide them with a name – I can’t just say I have a plus one.”
“Logan Parker – I have a shell company, also based in Venezuela, coincidentally enough. It’ll hold up, I’ve been able to use it before. It’ll also help with the whole plus one situation, make the reason we met seem plausible enough to not set off any red flags.”
“What about the rest of your team?” Carlos looks around, trying to figure out what plan TK is concocting in his head. 
i'm getting around to this so late, but i'm gonna tag @theghostofashton and leaving an open tag!
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eternalshadeart · 4 months
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I've been doing digital art for almost 2 years now, with little to no practice on actual paper for these 2 years, and that got me thinking did I Lose my touch with traditional art, Haven't picked up an actual paint brush in so long. Its easy to get lost in the vast possibilities that digital painting softwares offer, ranging from hundreds of brush textures, to tools to make your shaky lines smooth, making the perfect circles, filing a solid colour in an instant.
Where you absolutely dont have to wait for your oils or watercolor to dry up before going for the next layer, and most importantly no need to spend dollars on art supplies and if you make any mistake the undo option is always there for you.
It did make painting easier in a way, but it also comes with its own cons, when I started digital painting I felt like I had to learn from scratch how to use the particular software, and had to learn to paint all over again. Tho it catches up quick but still figuering out how to use each tool, how all the functions, brushes, layers, blend modes work. It does take some time.
Nevertheless I ventured from my point, so since I've been painting dgitally for 2 years I figured its time to indulge in some traditional work, touch base and see If im still worthy.
I tried painting a couple of small canvas and got stuck figuring out what to draw, to have the exact outcome planned out because if I decide halfway through coloring my background that I dont like how it looks, I dont have a ctrl Z to help me this time, I'll have to paint over the whole thing and start from scratch. Painting on the canvas directly is a commitment and theres a looming pressure that the outcome should look beautiful and completed, and I already have enough anxiety, not really excited about been anxious about the thing i love.
One warm afternoon I picked up a tiny notebook I had, bought it on a whim last year and it has been sitting on my shelf since then, its a 4"x4" pocket notebook with decent paper quality, perfect to try out the random black gel pen I found lying around. And I got to it, found a cozy warm place and made a small pen sketch of a tree. The texture looked nice, i did mess up a couple timeson the leaves but since its just a disposable paper I didnt worry much on it, just covered it up with more scriblings. It felt pretty good, ad I realised with digital art the one thing I'm missing is customisign how I organise and decorate my work collection.
With digital software all your art is stored as mere .png or .jpg or whichever format you prefer, but thats it, its just a photo album, unlike a sketchbook where you can decorate the cover, add a couple of sticker or notes to it, stick a dried flower you found, or just about anything creative.
The overall feel of a sketchbook is entirely different and I dont have to worry about each page looking like a finished work.
I love painting digitally but painting on a sketchbook is almost nostalgic, so I finally started one.
Got myself a small A6 sketcbook with a pretty floral cover,cut out the pen sketch i did and glued it on the first page, and thus started to fill each page with totally random unrelated paintings.
So anyway this was a lengthy way to tell you how painting on a sketchbook somehow made me improve my art, and felt incredibly amazing, tho I've completed just couple pages, each page looks beatifull in its own way, and i got to try out a couple of pens, and paints that I havnt used in so long.
got to try doing simple portraits, tried to double tap multiple times on the page (stupid muscle memory).
so anyway here are a few pages that I have completed, and if you did read till the end, thanks for bearing with the (rant)?
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badluvki · 3 months
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my interests bc i’m bored :
-kpop (main interest) : ults - shinee , nct , loona , redvelvet , aespa , exo , fromis_9 , triples , miss a , snsd , aoa, twice , seventeen , ateez . my ult is key!!!!!!!!!!
-horror : my fav movies are saw franchise , martyrs , terrifier , incantation , texas chainsaw massacre (bc it’s funny as FUCK) , hereditary and sinister . my fav game is outlast and will never change (and final fantasy but that’s not horror) . i also rly like youtube creepy content , analog horror and args , my fav is greylock
-disturbing media : it sounds maniac but i like trying to find the most disturbing media i can not bc i like it but i’m VERY curious about things and it ends up with me going into weird stuff like this , i just research tho im not fucked up
-quentin tarantino movies : i just love them? idk . it started when i saw kill bill for the first time i needed to know more
-movies . : romcoms , comedy , horror , i don’t know the other genre i like’s name but i don’t like superhero movies and that’s basically the only type of film i won’t watch . i’m an n in mbti , i love creating theories and meaning to movies , i fully judge (i’m a j in mbti too) and analyse the movies and make huge essays in them :D
-animals : i work at a vets and i’ve always wanted to dinxe i was a child and here i am , but anyway my fav animals are fat tailed geckos , leopard geckos , corn snake , mexican milk snake , crested geckos , any tarantula but especially chilean rose and arizona blonde , rats , ferrets , possums , raccoons, cats duh i LOVE cats
-dance , producing and rap : i always danced but i had to be taken out of dance classes bc i thought i was more creative than my teachers and kept doing my own thing and i dance everyday for at least 2 hours a day and i’ve rapped since i was young when ariana grande featured rappers in her songs but i gradually got to harder rap and after my cousin passed i fully got inspired to follow my dream to rap better for him and now i practice every day until my toungue goes numb , i’m fast and good and have good flow kmaooo . i produced dubstep w my cousin when i was younger but i have a very big music taste and i am ready to do more recent genres
-art : creating my own product, only have one character based on me so far but it will get more , i’ve drawn since i was young and i use all media but my fav is traditional art and oil paint , i don’t know how to digital paint tho . i’m very good at art
-ariana grande : i was w her since i was a child in urs truly era . i went to all of her concerts in my area apart from dangerous woman luckily , i couldn’t afford that tour , but also i live in birmingham so i wouldve gone to birmingham but still rest in peace to everyone lost 🤍🤍. i have all of her albums and all of her older perfumes but i don’t have mod bc two perfumes would DENT my money . my fav songs of hers are goodnight n go , supernatural and quit (with cashmere cat) . i have sm merch too , when j was a kid in primary school i always wore a ponytail and lace cat ears
-k/c/j/tdramas : my favs are all of us are dead and alice in borderland
-rollercoasters??? : idk i love them , i have been to disneyland and universal florida w mi primo but my fav is alton towers england , my fav ride ever is nemesis . i haven’t gone on new nemesis but i can’t wait to . i talked to a man in the queue and i saw him as my father figure so i begged my ex gf who i hate to let me sit by him and i sat w him on the ride and i was terrified on the lift up but once the ride started i felt euphoric and i didn’t scream once i just smiled at the ride bc it was so fast i didn’t even know what was going on . i am terrified of loops but the queue didn’t have ANYONE in no joke and i didn’t see the track right otherwise i wouldbt have gone on if i knew it had loops and only yesterday i found out it had loops , it was too fast for me to know . i loved it tho . i went on rita (and i passed out after the straight path so i thougjt it was a second long ride and my bsf was desperately trying to wake me up) , wicker man galáctica and 13 , i have too many memories ab this i need a whole post
-random shit : quantum physics , myths and cryptids around the world as well as my own culture , tibetan sky funeral? , diseases , weird phenomenons , true crime , weird life events , anything i will watch a huge video essay about
-languages : my own languages like maltese and spanish but also i learn languages from my friends from those countries like chinese and i learnt some tagalog and my filipina friend taught me even more , i love the phillipines mythology most too i love the manananggal i have a whole book just based on filipino myth
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a-edgar-allan-hoe · 3 years
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The Last Chthonian
Bucky x Reader, Sam x Reader, Zemo x Reader
Part 10
A/N: I can’t believe I’m already on part 10 for this series and to be honest it’s fun to write. And in all seriousness, the tumblr mobile app needs to allow you to put a read more link. But anyways love you all and let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list! Mwah! 🖤🖤🖤
Summary: Imagine being Hekate, the Greek goddess of magic and witchcraft, the night and the moon, doorways and crossroads, creatures of the night, and ghosts and necromancy. You stumbled upon Earth many centuries ago and since then have resided on the foreign planet. During the recent years you created an alias for yourself to hide your true identity, and after the war against Thanos you chose to live out your days in the Scottish countryside, until a certain trio appear at your doorstep one day.
Warnings: language, some violence, and blood
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“Im sorry, did you just say Madripoor?” You blinked at Zemo, dreading the destination ahead of you.
“What’s up with Madripoor? You talk about it like it’s Skull Island.” Sam questioned, looking between you and Zemo.
“Imagine Mos Eisley from Tatooine but without the aliens and blasters.” You tried to make an analogy. “In other words, a shithole. And to be honest, I’d rather be in Mos Eisley.”
“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago. It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.” Bucky explained to Sam.
“It’s kept its lawless ways.” Zemo added before turning to James. “But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.”
You had a feeling Zemo would suggest all of you going in with different identities, and being the only woman in the group, you already had a wild guess you weren’t going to be ecstatic about yours. You looked to Bucky with a frown on your lips. You knew what Zemo had meant towards him, and you didn’t know how it would affect him to transition back into the person he tried so hard to deviate from. Bucky saw the sympathetic smile you gave him, and he returned it with a look that reassured you that he would be fine.
“Y/n.” Zemo now spoke to you, tilting his head to meet your eyes. “I’m sure you are aware of the conditions.”
“Zemo if you...” Bucky trailed off as he glared at him, silently warning him to watch what he says next.
Sam and Bucky kept their eyes on Zemo, waiting to hear what his suggested persona for you was and ready to beat his ass if he dared to suggest something that would be demeaning to you.
“No way in the pits of Tartarus. I am not going in as an escort.” You voiced with a clenched jaw. “And if it’s eye candy you need, you have Sam.”
Sam gave you a surprised look from your comment, flattered to have you recommend him to be the designated eye candy before going back to the topic at hand. “Hell no Zemo. You’re not having y/n pretend to be an escort.”
“I’m afraid Sam is already going as someone.” Zemo sat back with his hands folded in his lap. “And don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on having you go as an escort, it isn’t befitting of a baron like me. Plus, I figured it would be uncomfortable for you, so I was going to suggest you act as my fiancé, if you are willing of course.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, pondering on the subject. You were a bit relieved in all honesty. But to pretend to be Zemo’s fiancé and be in close and almost physical proximities with him?
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to y/n.” Sam uttered to you.
“I’ll do it.” You confirmed.
“Are you sure?” Zemo asked you again, making sure you were comfortable with acting the part.
“I thought Zemo might step out of line with this one, but we don’t want you to do something that will make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m sure. I’ve had to do things I wasn’t comfortable with plenty of times in the past.”
Once you had all landed, Zemo decided to stop by a place so that you all may get dressed. You had already packed a dress and a pair of heels with you just in case for situations like these, since this wasn’t the first time you had to dress up for a mission. The dress you wore was a black, burned velvet silk slip-like dress with the velvet print being dark red roses. The dress wasn’t too tight to be constricting of movement and fit perfectly around around your curves. If the situation should arise that you needed to defend yourself, you needed the freedom to be able to move. Going down, the fabric flared slightly at your hips, brushing barely against the floor with your heels on. The skirt was slightly sheer from the bottom of your thighs and down with the floral velvet print, and had a slit going up your right thigh, perfect for kicking and concealing your dagger. The top torso portion of the front of your dress was a spaghetti strap cowl neckline that stopped just above the curve of your breasts, allowing for just a bit of cleavage. Your back was left bare, stopping at your mid back with thin straps that came across in a pattern. Your dress almost had a Grecian/witchy look from the way it draped over your chest and hips. It wasn’t too formal or too scandalous, it was elegant and classy, and showed just the right amount of skin where it wouldn’t be too revealing.
Even though you completely loathed and detested heels of any kinds, your heels were fairly simple, made of black velvet with straps that came across your ankles and toes. You dreaded heaving to wear them but at the same time you’d stick out like a sore thumb if you wore your docs with these. Perhaps you should’ve brought your nicer sandals, but it was too late now. You kept on your mother’s necklace and wore a set of amethyst drop earrings, throwing on a silver cuff bracelet on each wrist. Your hair was let loose to conceal your short sword that you hid on your back underneath your dress, the hilt resting right between your shoulder blades. You prayed that having your hair down would cover the scars and the sword you had on your back. But you were mostly focused about the scars, you failed to mention them to the guys about it since it was something that was hard for you to share. The only makeup you had on was some eyeshadow and mascara to darken your eyes, very little blush, and a lip tint.
The last thing to do was to put on some perfume, so you spritzed on your favorite oil based one that you had from Olympus on your pulse points. The scent was filled with incense-like scents like dragon’s blood, sage, crushed red roses, sandalwood, ghostly white musk, absinthe, almonds, and heady gardenia. It wasn’t as harsh as the common alcohol based ones, this one was more earthy and ancient, and every time you wore it, the scent lingered and heads turned. You gave yourself a once over when you were done, taking in a deep breath before heading out to join the others.
You became nervous as you saw them gathered together, talking amongst themselves as they haven’t noticed you yet. You rarely ever wore dresses these days, especially of the kind you were wearing now which left you feeling bare and exposed even though the dress wasn’t at all much revealing. So as you approached them, you couldn’t help picking at your fingers in anxiety.
The men turned at the sound of your heels clicking against the ground, and when they laid their eyes on you, they couldn’t help but gawk with their mouths parted open, as if they had seen the most beautiful creature to ever walk the earth. You chewed on the inside of your cheeks as you saw how they stared at you.
“Wow.” Sam was the first to say something. “You look like a million bucks.”
“What? Never seen a woman in a dress before?”
“No, I’ve just never seen you in a dress before.” Sam answered. “You’re always dressed like some hippie/librarian, with your bands shirts, sweaters, plaid pants and jackets.”
“Haha vary funny.”
“Also since when did you have muscles?” Sam noticed as he poked your bare arm. “And since when did you have a tattoo?” He observed the mark you had on your upper right arm, right below your shoulder. It was the mark that was given to you to signify your Olympian status and what you represented. It was about the color that henna left behind after you wiped the paste off your skin, the color of ginger and bronze. The center of your mark was a lightning bolt, which represented a child of Zeus. Below that was your symbol, the torch and the triple moons.
“Since when did you start asking so many questions? But yeah, I’ve always had muscles Sam, I was trained in combat since I was, you could say 9 years old in human years. Also, technically everyone has them, it’s what allows us to move and lift things. And that.” You pointed to your tattoo. “Is my goddess mark, not a tattoo. Every Olympian god has one and they each have their personal symbol that represents them.”
“Wait, so you’ve been trained since you were a kid?” Bucky looked at you to clarify what he heard as they all started to head out.
“Technically, everyone on Olympus starts training that young. Then, when they become of age, a tournament is held to display their skills, following a ceremony after, to celebrate their victory.” You explained as you walked beside them.
The four of you were currently walking on the bridge that led to Madripoor. You could see the city’s skyline out in the distance, the cyberpunk like buildings lighting up the night sky.
“Do you need my coat?” You heard Zemo say beside you, making you look at him.
“Sorry?”
“Do you need my coat?” He repeated himself, referring to how your arms were bare against the cool night. “I wouldn’t want you to get cold.”
You stared at him, stunned from the kind gesture as you tried to form words to say. “Oh uh.....I appreciate the gesture, but I’m fine actually. I’m not that cold.” Though you didn’t want to admit it, you actually would’ve liked to try on his coat, because in all honesty it was a damn nice coat.
“We have to fix this.” You heard Sam say with irritation visible in his voice. “I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.”
“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward black man looks like a pimp. You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing.” Zemo mentioned as he pulled out his phone to show Sam. “The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.”
“He even has a bad nickname. Hell, he does look like me, though.” Sam observed the photo.
“You smell this?”
“Yeah, what is that? Acid?” Sam sniffed the air as you did the same.
“Smells rancid.” You scrunched your nose at the smell.
“Madripoor. No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There’s no margin for error.” Zemo instructed as a black car pulled up in front of you. “High Town’s that way. Not a bad place if you wanna visit, but Low Town’s the other way.”
“Let me guess. We don’t have any friends in High Town.” Sam remarked as he opened the door for the back seat.
“Y/n. A moment please, if you will.” Zemo uttered to you.
You stopped in your tracks, seeing Bucky and Sam stand on either side of the car doors, looking between the two of you and especially Zemo, with caution. You nodded your head at them, signaling you were fine and that they can get seated. And though they sat themselves inside the car, that didn’t stop them from keeping their eyes glued to Zemo to make sure he didn’t pull anything stupid.
“What’s the issue?” You turned to Zemo, giving him your attention.
“Since you will be portraying my fiancé, there’s a certain key element you will be needing to complete the image.” You watched as he pulled out a ring from his coat pocket, displaying it in front of you. “If I may?”
You stared at Zemo blankly before nodding your head and holding out your left hand for him. You knew this was only for a show, but you couldn’t help but stiffen as he delicately held your hand with his gloved one before slipping the ring onto your ring finger.
“There.” Hi smiled softly at you, his hand still holding yours. “Now you look the part.”
The two of you stood there for a moment, his thumb brushing against your knuckles, leaving behind a trail of warmth as he gazed down at you. Zemo swore he could have gotten lost in the violet swirls and gold flecks of your eyes forever, which now sparkled against Madripoor’s lit up skyline, the neon city and the places he’s visited not even coming close to the beauty he held before him.
You tried not to blush under his gaze as you gave him a polite smile before slipping your hand out of his. “I should probably change my eyes huh.” You remembered, changing your eyes to a normal color known to earth. “Should I hide the scar?” You asked him, referring to the one on your face.
“I think you should leave it. It suits you, and besides, you never know who might recognize you without it.”
Nodding your head at him, you headed to the car and settling in beside Bucky as Zemo followed, getting in the passenger seat in front of you. In the car ride there, you glanced down at the ring Zemo slipped on your finger, it was definitely a beautiful elegant ring, with a rose gold band and a pear cut garnet in the center that had diamonds that accented the bottom. Once you arrived in the city, you walked through the neon lit streets beside Zemo while Sam and Bucky followed behind. You loosened up your body as you went, swaying your hips slightly as you tried your best not to walk like a bodyguard and look threatening as everyone’s eyes followed the four of you strolling through the streets.
“Here we are.” Zemo announced, stopping in front of a bar before speaking to Bucky in Russian. “Ready to comply… Winter Soldier?”
As you went in, Zemo leaned in to whisper in your ear, his warm breath tickling your neck and startling you as he spoke in a hushed tone. “I want to apologize in advance, forgive me.”
You looked at him with furrowed brows to question what he meant until you felt his gloved hand slide across your back before resting on your waist, pulling you closer to his side. You noticed how his hand fumbled after brushing across your sword as he gave you a questioning look. What was that on your back? Did you really conceal a full on sword on your back underneath your dress? On your way to the bar table you saw people stare as you went through, some of them gawking in surprise at Bucky, or the winter soldier as he was now portraying, while the slimy men in the area roamed their eyes over your body hungrily. Zemo noticed your uneasiness from the way your muscles tensed, though your face didn’t show a sign of it, and glared at the men who dared to lay their eyes on you, only pulling you closer to him to prove that you were with him while Bucky and Sam noticed this as well and positioned themselves where you were blocked from the view of your peers, allowing you to breathe a little better as you approached the bar.
“Hello, gentlemen.” The bartender greeted you all. “Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.”
“His plans changed.” Zemo answered for him. “We have business to do with Selby.”
“The usual?”
Sam nodded his head.
“And for the lady?”
“Um Something fruity.” You answered with a flirtatious smile, silently hoping they had something like that on the menu and that you hadn’t blown their cover by ordering the wrong drink.
The bartender handed you what looked to be a pineapple martini and you internally thanked the gods for your sheer bit of luck, taking the drink and thanking the bartender with another smile. You watched as he went to work on Sam’s drink, pulling out of a jar what definitely was a snake. You gulped, your stomach feeling nauseous as you saw the bartender cut open the dead snake, taking out its guts and throwing it in the shot glass. You were mortified to say the least, snakes were one of your symbols and you had owned plenty of the gentle little creatures. You shot Sam a sympathetic look once you saw his expression.
“Cheers.” Zemo held up his glass while Sam stared at his before gathering the courage to drink it all in one go. If Sam wasn’t going to throw up, you were going to do it for him.
While your eyes were trained on Sam’s expression, you felt someone breathe over your neck before feeling a clammy hand graze across your ass.
“Hey baby-“
Your eyes widened before you grabbed the wrist of the man behind you in one quick motion, twisting his arm to an unnatural position as you yanked it away from your body, causing the sleazy looking individual let out a yelp of pain. You would’ve crushed his wrist like crumpled paper if Zemo hadn’t put a cautionary hand on your arm as he whispered to you. “Careful now.”
You let go of the man’s wrist before shoving him aside like a pile of garbage. If their identity wasn’t at risk of being revealed, Zemo, Sam, and Bucky would have gone over there and beat the guy up after you were done with him.
“I got word from high. You ain’t welcome here.” You watched from behind Zemo as a bearded man approached him.
“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo gestured towards Bucky.
“New haircut?”
“Or bring Selby for a chat.”
The man glanced between Zemo and Bucky before leaving.
“A power broker? Really?” Sam turned to Zemo.
“Every kingdom needs its king. Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.”
“Do you know him?” You asked.
“Only by reputation. In Madripoor he is judge, jury, and executioner.”
Another man was approaching in your direction, most likely to kick you all out or worse, and after following your gaze, Zemo turned to Bucky, speaking to him in Russian just as the man laid a hand on his shoulder. “Winter Soldier. Attack.”
You stood back, watching as Bucky grabbed the dude’s arm and twisted it back. You refrained yourself from intervening as Bucky took down the men that fought against him.
“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form.” Zemo commented to you and Sam.
Bucky slammed one of the men down on the counter. And as you heard the clicking of guns being loaded, your defensive mode nearly kicked in as you almost reached for your sword before Zemo stopped you.
“Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us.” Zemo whispered to you both before turning to Bucky and speaking in Russian again. “Well done soldier.”
You let your arm drop back down to your side, not a single change in your expression as you eyed everyone around you.
“Selby will see you now.” The bartender spoke up after getting off the phone.
Zemo gave him a thanks, nodding you over and holding out his hand for you to take as you went to his side again, Bucky and Sam following after you. You went through a back door, going down a dark corridor with Zemo’s hand on your back as he guided you through.
“You should know, Baron. People don’t just come into my bar and make demands.” You heard a woman’s voice speak, turning your head to see an older woman in a suit with short white hair lounging back on the coach with her security around her.
“Not a demand. An offer.” Zemo sat down on the couch before waving you over when he saw you standing near Sam. “Come sit schatzi.”
You straightened up, plastering a smile on your face as you went over to him. Selby’s eyes followed you curiously as you placed your hand in his, your eyes rapidly moving in nervousness for what area would be the most appropriate area to sit. Were you......were you supposed to sit on his lap? Is that how couples work? No, that would be inappropriate. Before things got awkward, you quickly plopped down on the empty spot next to him, crossing over your leg in a way so that it draped over his, leaving your thigh completely exposed from the slit in your dress, save for the dagger that still remained hidden. Sam and Bucky widened their eyes at what you just did, while Zemo stiffened at this sudden movement from you as you also draped one arm around his shoulders, bringing yourself closer to him. Were you even doing this right?
“A lot has changed since you were here last.” Selby observed the two of you before her eyes landed on your ring. “Who’s this pretty little thing?”
“This.” Zemo looked at you with a loving look, throwing an arm around your waist to draw circles on your bare back, while his other hand rested on your thigh, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps on your skin as you felt shivers go down your spine. “Is my fiancé. Gorgeous isn’t she?”
How long has it been since you were this close and personal to someone? The last you could remember, women still wore corsets and people still rode carriages. You felt your body heat up from being this close to him, and from the way he stroked your back. How was a mortal man able to leave you feeling like this? If he was able to send shivers down your spine with the mere touch on your back with his gloved hand, you wondered how it would feel to have his bare hands on you, just skin to skin. And if you were being honest, you never really were a fan of cologne but his smelled of a deeper earthy tones with hints of musk, and you were surprised and almost ashamed to say you liked how he smelled. You returned the same loving look to Zemo, trying to make it as believable as possible as you ran your fingers through the hair on the back of his head before placing a kiss on his jaw close to his ear. Sam and Bucky couldn’t believe their eyes at the scene before them, the same you who preferred to be a hermit and didn’t go on dates because it involved human interaction, was cuddling up to none other than Helmut Zemo himself. Zemo’s breath faltered a bit from from your touch as he swallowed the lump in his throat, struggling not to break character. Being this close to you, he was able to get a whiff of your perfume and my goodness, Zemo felt as if he could drown in your scent, you smelled like the heavens, not overbearingly sweet, but dark and luxurious and even seductive. Is this what vampires and sirens smelled like when they lured people to their deaths? You raised a brow at Zemo, your heightened senses were picking up on his breathing patterns and heartbeat. Was he getting nervous?
“Extremely.” Selby commented, smirking at the two of you before roaming her eyes over your body. You could feel her taking you in but you kept your eyes trained on the side of Zemo’s face. “Where did you pick this one up? She looks like a fighter.”
“As they say, why not get a woman who can do both. She was part of the Sokovian armed forces, I met her through there.”
“By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison. How did you escape?” Selby added after finally taking her eyes off you.
“People like us always find a way, don’t we? I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for.”
“You’re taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger.” Selby turned to Sam with a flirtatious grin, using her hand in a claw like manner as she let out a purr. “What’s the offer?”
“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum.” Zemo got up off the couch, going over to Bucky and holding his chin between his fingers. “And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.”
“Now that’s the Zemo I remember. I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately. Yeah, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right. The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank. Or… condemn, depending on what side of this you’re on. The Power Broker had him working on the serum, but… things didn’t go as planned.”
“Is Nagel still in Madripoor?”
“Oh. The bread crumbs you can have for free, but the bakery is gonna cost you, Baron. And before you get all cute, don’t think you can find Nagel without me. But.....” She turned you with a sly smile which made your insides turn. “Throw her in with the package and you have yourself a deal.”
Zemo, Sam, and Bucky turned to look at you with dread upon hearing her words. This wasn’t at all part of the plan.
“No, no no. That wasn’t the deal.” Zemo stepped over to where you sat, blocking you from her. “She’s not for sale.”
“Why not?” Selby raised her brow at Zemo. “I’m pretty sure a man like you could pick up someone else to be your plaything or fiancé or whatever. I like this one in particular.” She turned to you again.
“That’s not-“ Zemo started before he was cut off by Sam’s cellphone vibrating.
You breath was caught in your throat and it felt as if the room had dropped in temperature. You could feel the tension floating around the air as everyone’s eyes were trained on Sam now, making you sit up straight and uncross your legs so that they were planted firmly on the ground. Your hand rested on your thigh just above where the hilt of your dagger was as your eyes darted around the room, watching each and every person like a hawk about to swoop down on its prey. You had a feeling this wasn’t going to end well.
Tag List: @girl-obsessed-with-things @aerynchromie @sunshinepower17 @viviace @kakimakiloh @thebivirgin @gambitsqueen @spookycereal-s @lulu-yuming @mochminnie @gabitanaka47 @s00nhi @vanteguccir @tomhollandsslilslut @dracoxxyoflam @suchababie @uhhhcrypticbastard @on-my-way-to-erebor @thewinterrbucky @mylifeispainandiloveit @fillechatoyante @padmoonyfeorge @montypythonsholysnail
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angelthebedsheet · 3 years
Note
If you’re ok with it, could you do Hawks, Todoroki, Shinsou, Bakugo and Kaminari with a black support engineer s/o with big curly hair and stretched ears? Maybe she wears gauges with their hero theme? Just some cute fluff!
a/n: oooooh bitch okayyyyy!! i like that! hawks my lil bird bitch ✋🏽🥺
your quirk! super brain.
what is it? you have the ability to memorize things easily, piece complex puzzles together, make great strategies. you essentially are a megamind. you are incredibly smart invention-wise. you are skilled in support hero work so you are one of the go to’s for hero modifications, suits and basic designs.
hero name? hakim: the tinker hero
why the name hakim? from what i searched up it has arabic and african significance and it’s one of the 99 names based on the attributes of Allah. the two famous bearers of this name were hakim ajmal khan, the india physician and hakim muhammad saeed, a pakistani medical researcher. if i got any of this wrong please message me so i can fix this! i want to stay as respectful as possible as i love to include names that hold a message!
i might have to split this into two parts bc this gets long!! i just assumed reader is fem presenting bc you can use feminine pronouns and not be a girl like me. also disclaimer i only take 4 characters at a time per request but i dont think at the time of this request i had finalized my requirements in my masterlist so IMMA LET IT SLIDE. sorry this is late as SHIT. lets get it!
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Hawks
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okay we all know he’s a lil shit
and we all know how he be
you are working on your next commission piece in your studio when your window opens
you can only sigh
“what happened kei.”
“now birdie dont get mad now okay”
“what did you do.”
“i may have.... broke my visor and destroyed my jacket?”
how the fuck do you do that.
“what.”
“ahahah...”
boot to the face
when you two were first dating
which was back in hs
you helped him figure out how his hero costume would be along with how they would sit comfortably on his wings
i mean i love the idea of you roasting him while measuring him
“where’s your fuckin DRIP kei.”
“y/n PLEASE. i came here to get a new costume not get slandered”
“well you jus gon have to deal with it sugar, especially when you look like a mess.”
he had definitely bought you so many gauges that have little red feathers hanging from it
or simply his initials hanging from it to the point where you just wear one of his feathers around your neck
marking his territory and making sure you are safe
protective and trendy!
i hc that he has alot of bird like tendencies so you probably have to stop him from stealing the lil shiny things you have
your nuts and bolts allat
“keigo put my bolt down”
“but its so SHINY”
“NO.”
cue keigo’s WHINING
sometimes he just sits on his stool you put for him and play with your ears
like he’ll stare at them and ask you questions
“do they hurt?”
“kei im trying to focus”
“like they’re all stretched how long did they take?”
or he’ll bounce your curls
you’re just polishing a piece of hero gear
here comes kei silently sitting on his stool and gently grabbing a strand of your hair
pulling it down then you hear a quiet
“boing”
i hc that kei has adhd, has lil tic and has to fidget
(can you tell i self project onto majority of them)
(i mean hawks’ quirk must be IMMACULATE for fidgeting 😫👌🏽👌🏽)
(its dead his fault why i have a pretty bird tic)
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and one day
“kei baby, here.” you said as you handed him a box. he cocked his head slightly as he looked at it. “what is this, dove?” he asked as he took the box. “well, i made you something to help with your fidgets.” you said as you rubbed the back of your neck. his wings puffed out as he smiled. he opened the box and gasped. you watched as his eyes brightened while he took out the keychain fidget toy. it has multiple sides to it. metal rings connected by two hoops, red, white and beige plastic bangs that were at the ends with two small red feathers at the chains. you watched as he bit his lips and tried not to cause a big reaction. “do you like it, pretty bird?” you asked. he nodded and pulled you into a hug. “thank you so much, baby.” he said into your shoulder. “and you can hook it onto your pants. cute, right?” you said as you gently rubbed his back. “yep, i’m cuddling the fuck outta you. lets go.” he said as he let you go and sweeped you up into his arms. you squealed with a giggle and wrapped your arms around his neck as he ran to the bedroom.
Todoroki Shouto
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yall are in hs okay no time skips lmao
todoroki loves EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU
i mean he has so many sneaky pics of you working on your projects
oil on the cheek, gloves, goggles
straight up working in your zone
he will post on his story sometimes like
“look at my s/o”
“they’re working hard”
dry ass cute shit yk?
he carries scrunchies and glass cleaners 24/7
you take your projects on the go so he’ll just take out a scrunchie and neatly pull them curls back into a pineapple
my mans lowkey was struggling at first bc DAMN
CURLS BE FIGHTIN HIM
love the idea of todoroki watching youtube tutorials bc he’s TIRED of getting his ass BEAT by them
he kinda gets a lil grossed out when you take out your gauges and your earlobe kinda just dangles
like earrings in? cool asf
them out? my mans fold like a lawn chair. he looks away or makes a stink face
“are they in?”
“yes they’re in you lil baby. you can try attempted murder but you can’t look at stretched earlobes?”
“shut UP”
he does internally swoon when you put in gauges that match his hair colour
like you love him that much? okay i see
he’s amazed by how you work
sometimes he’ll just stand behind you like a lil sibling in the door way
“mom said it’s my turn on the xbox.”
(not at how me and todoroki are both the youngest siblings)
when you saw his first hero costume you busted out LAUGHING
that day you roasted todoroki to the point where he left
“janitor looking ass. my nigga where you goin? a space adventure? scary ass.”
“😐 are you done.”
“space jam headass, lookin like a g.i joe action figure. terminator lookin ass.”
“alright im leaving”
“no wait come back andjajdjsba”
i hc that todoroki has panic and anxiety attacks and things like that
so you made him a little sumn sumn for his anxiety
“candy, look here for a second?” you called out, making todoroki hum and look up from his notebook. “what happened?” he asked as he cocked his head slightly. “made you something.” you said as you handed him a small box. his eyes light up as he gently took the box. “really? are you sure?” he questioned. you only nodded with a smile as you placed your pencil behind your ear. you watched as he carefully opened the box. he pulled out a tan clicker toy and smiled confused. “what’s this, bub?” he questioned as he placed the box down. “a fidget toy i made for you that can help with your anxiety. it can help ground you when you feel overwhelmed? hopefully? oh! it also has a music box feature.” you said as you pointed at the back of the toy. he silently turned the toy around and you leaned over and pressed a button that played a music box version of a pearl by mitski. you watched as his shoulders loosened up at the sound of his favorite song. he placed the toy down while he tried to hold his smile back. he sighed and smiled widely. “thank you, i love it, bubba.” he said sweetly. “i’m glad you like it.” you whispered. “may i kiss you?” he asked. you simply nodded before he gently cupped your cheek and pressed a kiss to your lips. you pulled him into a hug.
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marichat-verse · 3 years
Text
Mist Memories
Leo Valdez x reader for his birthday ahhhh (even though it's angsty) with a platonic/developing jason x reader cameo at the end (lmao im sorry i couldn't help myself 😭)
Based on this picture I found in pinterest + also [kinda] based on traitor by olivia rodrigo and omg i really recommend u guys listen to this edit because it reminds me so much of this fic that's been stuck in my head for MONTHS also kind of a run away with me prologue lol
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Your POV
I nervously made my way across the forest until I reached a limestone cliff. I knocked on the iron door, not really expecting to get an answer.
My boyfriend has been shutting himself in Bunker 9 for the past few weeks. I stood there counting up to seven before knocking again. I knocked again two more times, until he answered in the middle of my last knock.
He removed his goggles and winced as sunlight hit his eyes. He'd grown thinner and paler, making the dark circles in his eyes more pronounced.
"Oh, Leo..." I reached out to brush a few strands of hair away from his face, but he moved away.
"What are you doing here?" He said in a monotone voice.
I moved to walk inside the Bunker, brushing off his hesitation to let me in. "I'm your partner, remember? And I'm really concerned because you're shutting yourself out lately. You know everyone's starting to worry about you. Percy asked me to check on you because you missed pegasus riding with him. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Jason's coming back from Camp Jupiter soon. I was hoping you and Annabeth could be with Piper while Percy and I hung out with Jason because it's been a little awkward since their breakup. Plus Piper wanted to tell you something—"
"Please," he said forcefully causing me to stop and look at him. "Just... Get out."
Normally, he'd shut himself from the world for a few days to work on an important project or because he was feeling really sad and he needed space. But this was getting out of hand. He had never locked me out of his life when I offered to help him. He was never this mean when he asked for space. I was not having this attitude of his.
"Okay, Leo. I tried to play nice. What is so important that you blow off all your friends for nearly a month that you can't even tell your partner, or maybe say hi to your best friend who's coming back from the other side of the country?"
He didn't say anything. He pursed his lips and avoided eye contact. I scanned he room for any signs.
It was messier than usual with all the crumpled paper scattered on the floor, especially on his desk. He could have been drawing up new plans. Something in my gut told me that something wasn't right. There were no new unfinished projects, indicating that he wasn't starting a new invention. Harley's helicopter lay on his bench in the same state it was weeks ago. Huh, not even his siblings could enter the Bunker.
I turned and Leo was already changing Festus' oil. I took this moment of distraction to pick up a few pieces of crumpled paper on the floor and on his desk. I had to process the words a bit longer—too long that Leo took notice. Damn dyslexia.
I heard footsteps speed up behind me, but it was too late. I read enough and got the gist of what he had been trying to do these past few weeks.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at me. Small embers started to erupt between his curls.
I laughed dryly. "So this is what you've been up to?"
His fists tightened, further crumpling the paper in his hands. His eyes flashed with anger, despair and confusion.
I sighed and focused my eyes on his desk, not daring to look at him any longer. Under some pieces of paper were old photographs of him and Piper from Wilderness School. Yup, those definitely were the mist memories she had with Jason. I read the latest draft he'd been writing:
Dear Piper,
Remember the mist memories from boarding school with Jason? They were real, but they were with me.
I miss you. I miss when it was just us. I miss the night on the roof.
Yours truly,
Leo Valdez
I tried to keep my voice from cracking. "How long?"
I heard him sigh. "Three weeks."
I balled my fists. Tears started to fall and smudge the ink. I wiped them away as fast as they came.
"How?"
"In a dream," his tone softened now. "Hera came to me in a dream and told me to check an old drawer in Bunker 9. I found the photos and the memories came rushing back."
"How long were you dating back then?"
"Two weeks."
"Were you ever going to tell me?"
Silence; then a deep breath.
"No."
I shook my head in disbelief. "Why?"
"Because I knew you'd get upset like—"
"I meant why would you throw away months of our relationship for a couple of weeks of your relationship with her? And without even bothering to tell me? Gods damn it, Leo. We've been together since you've first arrived at camp. And what about those promises you made when we were sailing to Greece? You've been keeping these feelings away from me and you've been lying to me, making me believe that there's still something between us and—"
"Oh, calm down," he said with an annoyed expression and tone, which only infuriated me more, "it's not like I did anything were her yet! I didn't kiss her or tell her how I truly felt for her! She just got out of a relationship with Jason around the same time I had that dream. I had to figure out how to talk to her about it. I've been alone in this Bunker for three. Fucking. Weeks. I didn't cheat on you."
"Oh, and that makes everything better?" I countered. "Being in a relationship isn't about not cheating, Leo. It's about being honest and communicating with each other."
"Oh, like you've been communicating with me? After the war, you take go back to Manhattan for school, and you take a job. I haven't seen you much during the holidays because work has been keeping you in the city. And you won't tell me what you even do for a living!"
I took in a deep breath. "I told you I needed to have a life outside of camp! I needed to know first that I could handle myself in the mortal world as a normal human being. I needed this demigod part of my life to be separate as much as possible! I've been in two wars, Leo. I needed time to myself, too. And I was about to tell you guys in a few more days. But I guess now, I'm glad I've kept you out of that part of my life. At least I have an escape from all of this. And now, especially from you."
I took another deep breath and walked to the door, about to let myself out. I turned back again, both our tear-stained eyes meeting each other.
"If it makes you feel any better," I said softly, "I would've hated the idea of us breaking up. But if you really love her, if you really feel like you have this special connection to her and she makes you happy, then I won't get in your way. You could at least have had the decency to talk to me so we could have left on a good note."
He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly regretting his actions. I sighed and looked around the Bunker, possibly for the last time. Lots of memories were definitely created in this room; all just as grand and meaningful as the inventions they made here. But just like some of Hephaestus' contraptions, some of them were flawed and dumped in his scrapyard, no matter how much potential it could have had.
"Goodbye, Leo."
I sat on a rock on the beach that gave me a beautiful view of Long Island Sound. To my left, the sun started to set, casting an orange filter on everything. My heart broke, remembering how everything glowed orange in the Bunker. Leo always left the fires burning when he was working. The sunlight twinkling against the sea reminded me of how small bits of flame peaked through his hair earlier. I remembered how mad he was at me. Or maybe he was mostly mad at himself.
"Hey."
I jumped when someone sat—or rather, landed—beside me. I turned and smiled, seeing one of my good friends back at camp.
"Hey, you're back," I said weakly. "How long have you been here?"
He smiled at me, although he could maybe sense that something was wrong. "Half an hour, maybe? I saw Annabeth making plans to expand camp to have a city. She made me do an aerial inspection and I told her I'll get back to her tonight. That's when I saw you."
"Mhmm," I mumbled, not really knowing what to say. It was silent for a few minutes before I spoke up again, knowing he was just waiting for me to open up.
"I broke up with Leo."
His head quickly turned to me. I guess he wasn't expecting it to be that bad. "What?"
"Oh yeah," I laughed dryly. "Turns out the mist memories Piper had in Wilderness School with you? They were real. But not with you."
His eyes widened. "Oh... With Leo."
"He locked himself in the Bunker for weeks trying to write a letter. It was heartbreaking. Like, truly heartbreaking. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her and how much he missed them. Then he said how much he missed that night with her under the stars and... It hurt. Like hell."
"Oh," he said. "I guess Piper didn't tell me everything then."
"She knew all along?"
He shook his head. "Maybe not everything, but she told me she's been confused about her feelings lately and she'd been having visions or dreams of possible old memories that were messing with her head."
"I'm sorry about you and Piper," I said.
"Don't be," he said. "I understand her. It did hurt, though. But I think I can get over it some day. We're still awkward around each other, but at least we left on a good note."
I scoffed. "Leo couldn't even give me a good ending to our relationship."
"Hey," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You're a great person, y/n. You've done so much, especially for him. It's his loss that he was stupid enough to let go of you."
"I know that."
"Do you really?"
"I do!" I said. "I'm a great person and I know that. But that doesn't mean what he did doesn't hurt me."
"I know," he said. "You'll find someone who'll treat you like the queen that you are. You're a great person, and I'm not just saying this to cheer you up. I truly think you're amazing."
I smiled at him. "Thanks, Jason. And you'll find someone great, too. Maybe not as great as me but, then again, who is?"
We both let out a laugh. The conch sounded in the distance, signaling dinner. I moved to stand up before hearing Jason speak up again.
"Hey, do you maybe want to just grab a couple of plates and eat out here?"
I smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good. I don't really want everyone else hounding me about the breakup right now."
I don't know how long it was going to take me to get over Leo. We really did gave something special. It was cruel how the universe gave me something so good, to make me have hope that something was finally going right, then have it yanked away from my arms just as suddenly as it came.
He never cheated on me, but that didn't mean he didn't betray every promise we made to each other. I should have known it was too good to be true. Life has always played cruel jokes on me.
Then again, who's to say that things won't turn out for the better, right?
•••
Tagging: @drvrslcense @bubblybubbubs @dreamerball @quteez @aesthetxcimagines @chasingpj @beingleft @wadewilsonsgreatestfriend
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pinoy-culture · 3 years
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before I ask my question, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for keeping up your blog and consistently giving out information where its readily accessible!!!
maybe this will make me sound like an idiot but to preface, I’m a mixed filipino american. My mom is filipino and some chinese and my dad is some sort of european and puerto rican. i was wondering, in your opinion, do you think it’d be okay for me (eventually) work with diwata and anitos? And how can I start? Ive been trying to communicate with my ancestors and I’ve been looking for books to one day buy (im extremely broke so your blog and any filipino witches i come across is all the info i can get) but i honestly have no clue where to start other than with my ancestors (weird dreams lately but nothing ancestor related i think). i took a DNA test as a gift and it pointed, predominantly, to the Western Visayas so im assuming i should study more on pre-colonial Bisayan culture (my lolas from iloilo so it makes sense i guess) but i also know that “blood quantum” is a colonizer concept so i dont wanna rely on it too much :/ sorry to ramble but pls help lol
First, I'd like to say thank you for following the blog! It really does mean a lot to me to hear from others over the years on how much my blogs have helped them learn about our history and culture.
Now as for working with our diwata and the anito, that is completely ok. The whole blood quantum thing among some Filipinos I honestly don't agree with. As long as you have a family member who is Filipino, you are Filipino regardless of your "percentage" and of how you look. If you have Filipino blood in you, the ancestors are there with you. Even if you weren't raised within Filipino culture or a Filipino household because your parents never brought you up in it, or you are an adoptee like some I've met over the years. Your ancestors are your ancestors regardless. They see you and know you and that is all that matters.
Now there really isn't any book focused specifically on reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices. Yes, some did survive and some even blended in with a form of Folk Christianity in the Philippines. You can see many of the older practices and beliefs still alive, but they have been replaced with Catholic imagery and Saints.
But, in regards actually believing in and worshiping our old deities, doing rituals dedicated to the deity, or even some rites of passage like the Tagalog first menstruation rite of passage, or making carved figures dedicated to the diwata and anito, or performing maganito/paganito or atang to the diwata and anito, majority of Filipinos don't do this, or even know it.
So for being an Anito Reconstructionist, which is a label I personally use for my spiritual beliefs and others have adopted, there really isn't a book for it. A Reconstructionist in other ethnic spiritual paths, such as the Celtic, Roman, Aztec, Kemetic, Greek, Norse, etc., are those who look at historical records to try and piece together what was once practiced and believed in prior to Christianity. Over many years, these different spiritual paths have eventually come together, formed a community, and have resources like books and teachers. They have had the time to do all the research and put together a more formal spirituality based on those Pre-Christian beliefs and bringing it to the modern day where they have hundreds to thousands of people who have gone back to those beliefs. With some, they have even created temples, shrines to their deities, and even have celebrations.
Unfortunately that is not the case for us. However, due to the growing interest in our precolonial beliefs and practices over the years, I can see Anito Reconstructionism growing within the next several years. It already has, with many people actually trying to learn more about these beliefs and our old deities. The amount of people of people I've seen and talked to who have expressed their interest to reclaim these precolonial beliefs and practices is nothing compared to 10 years ago when it was hard to even find one or two people who did.
It is why I've been writing this book for a few years now dedicated to helping others in wanting to reclaim our precolonial beliefs and practices as a starting point in their research. For now though, I always recommend those who are starting to simply just read the historical texts. Grab a notebook and write down notes. Organize your notes into deities, rituals, how to make an offering, any prayers to a specific deity, how to set up an altar, etc.
Seeing as your family is from the island of Panay in the Western Bisayas, like my moms side are from, I would start with looking at the Bisayan precolonial beliefs and practices. A really good reference is reading Francisco Alcina's History of the Bisayans (1668). Volume 3 is available online in English which you can find here. Volume 3 goes into a lot of detail in the beliefs and practices. The Boxer Codex, if you are able to get a copy of the English translation, is also really good reading material.
Getting Started:
In terms of getting started, keep in mind that there is no one monolithic belief system or practice in the Philippines. Before there ever was a Philippines, we were different nations with different beliefs and practices. It is important to know your ethnic groups beliefs and practices and know their history. For example, I am Bisaya (Akeanon specifically) and Tagalog and that is what I work with. Others who I know follow the Bikolano, Kapampangan, or Ilokano beliefs. Though there are some similarities, each ethnic group had their own set beliefs and practices.
I often tell people that you can't just mix and match between them. For example, though I work with both the Tagalog and Bisayan pantheons, I wouldn't dare do a ritual offering to both a Tagalog or Bisayan deity at the same time. It's always separate. You also can't combine 2 similar deities together from different ethnic groups just because they share similar attributes. It's just rude and disrespectful.
Start out small. Set up an altar dedicated to your ancestors. If you have any family members who have passed, put a photo of them on the altar. Leave offerings of rice cakes such as suman, food like chicken adobo, or even a cup of drink such as tuba, lambanog, or even Red Horse beer. But if you can't get access to an alcoholic drink either because one you are a minor or 2 it's not available where you live, you can simply replace it with a non-alcoholic drinks like coconut juice. Get a coconut shell or a seashell to either place these offerings as bowls/plates or even use them to put your kamangyan or incense.
Then start researching how our Bisayan ancestors worshiped and practiced. Study the history and read historical accounts, books, and articles about them. Write down what you have learned on these precolonial beliefs and practices and reconstruct or revive them. This is what Polytheistic Recinstructionists do. I have listed links to these texts here.
Ask questions to your family, particularly your elders. See if they know of anything or if they can share some traditional practices and beliefs they know of have heard of. You would be surprised how, despite some families being really religious, many still believe in the spirits, do some form of ancestor veneration, believe in omens that are being told to you by the ancestors or spirits, etc.
If you can, try to go back to the Philippines and see your family's ancestral home, see where they grew up, etc. Ask about family stories and folk stories. For example, my mom grew up in Aklan and has always told me stories of the aswang and certain omens. She also constantly talks about the mischievous "little people" who play tricks on you (for example putting something down like your keys and then it goes missing, until you find it again somewhere else). In the Western Bisayas, they are known as kama-kama. There is also a story of how her grandmother's cat visited her during her wake. The cat was missing for years, but it came back and stayed sleeping on top of the casket for days before it left. My mom told me that it was the cat paying their respects to her grandmother.
Keep in mind also and acknowledge our indigenous communities who have kept their beliefs and practices. Don't try to take them into your own. I have seen people cherry pick things from the Manobo of Mindanao or the Kalinga in the Cordillera, which is just disrespectful. Many of the IP, though some still have kept their beliefs, it isn't the most important aspect to them. What they are most concerned about are other issues such as losing their homes due to occupation by oil or logging companies, other settlers such as the Tagalog and Bisayans (especially in Mindanao), getting targeted as "rebels" by the Philippine military and often getting killed. But, by cherry picking beliefs especially of the IP groups, it's just disrespectful.
I will be teaching classes on Anito Reconstructionism soon and will have my first class possibly at the end of the month or next month. I decided to do these classes seeing as there is a growing community who are interested, but don't know where to start. I'll be doing a proper announcement on these classes real soon so look out for the announcement and hopefully you will be able to join!
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sereniv · 2 years
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like its really fun to reconstruct your meals to be without alternatives, or at least cutting out most. but sometimes it can be boring
salad with italian dressing i like. crutons that juat happen to be vegan. but no cheese, but thats fine
sandwhich with no mayo but maybe avocado, still expensive but less, but have to prepare more. not too bad. but then no cheese or meat. but onions and pepper and idk could be done
burrito with vegetables chips and tortilla. no sour cream. pretty difficult because the sour cream adds moisture. no meat and cheese is fine. doable but not enjoyable. as in force myself to finish it
pasta with spaghetti sauce easy. bread but no butter, olive oil is fine enough I guess. no mac n cheese unless using nooch. mac n cheese a bust for me
snacks are nuts and chips and crackers and fruit. i start to get antsy and crave brand name snacks could probably manage tho
no ice cream. nice cream takes time.
roasted vegetables are good. no butter
no butter for rice. makes things bland
so overall if someone were like me, theyd get food but itd be depressing
if they were like me and were able to figure what was most important, and what was more manageable then i think theyd be well off
if they are able to splurge then go for it
for me sour cream is a must but i can lessen the amount i use. sandwhich doesnt need meat. roasted vegetable sandwich with cheese onion spreadable garlic sounds good
butter is a must mayo lasts a while like once a month if i focus on diversifying my meals
ice cream isnt necessary.
i have the time to do this. not everyone does it tkaes effort and energy to change stuff like this
because also, cravings and change and all that can be near impossible to deal with!
thats why you have to always check in with yourself. give yourself challenges this is why I say have FUN
Bc if you dont have a legitimate reason for yourself making these changes it just falls flat.
going vegan was easy. but going healthy non alternative plant based is hard.
i usually go good for the first week and then cave. as in processed foods are made to be addicting.
but im able to cut out ice cream bc after a while i stop craving it, as long as im allowing myself some chocolate like chocolate dipped banana or just chips out the bag.
Sour cream i can lessen bc i love going overboard with condiments lol which saves money
i used to use butter a LOT globs on pancakes and bread and in everything. thrn i switched to olive oil sometimes and also realized i used it in things that didnt need it like mac n cheese
like when you get comfy with alternatives (or the real thing) you forget what you can live without its like you just eat without thinking
i had a friend, and ive heard this in other ppl too- going plant based and cutting out cheese and meat even when they were the biggest meat and cheese eater. and didnt realize how much was just habit
and you never know until you keep at it. check in once a month and think about food
theres so many products that come out and its exciting bc i want to try it. and i usually do
i just got like 7 bags of jerky nearly 6 dollars for not that much. its not something i need or even need to be emotionally happy. so when they are gone im going to try and find an alternative to that alternative like make a trail mix
yknow what makes it easier? actually listing the food you eat as meals. being able to visualize it so its not just going off of what your brain tells your stomach and tongue.
or else you end up eating a whole bag of chips instead of just having a side of chips
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stinkrascal · 3 years
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Hey jaiden! This might be a weird question, but I recently started living by myself, and one of my biggest struggles lately has been figuring out what to eat everyday, cause I have to find cheap and easy stuff since I’ve never been a really good cook lol. For some reason I thought you might know of some recipes that might work for me? You don’t have to answer this, but thank you so much if you do ❤️ hugs
i'm not a very good cook tbh, and my taste in food is especially bland, but i can share the few things i do know! i'll put it under the cut bc ik i'll ramble lol
i stock up on sandwich ingredients since it's cheap and easy to make and u can make a bunch of them!!! if u have money for a frying pan u can make sandwiches soooo good. i make a lot of grilled cheese in the frying pan!!! i just put 4 slices of turkey w a slice of american cheese in the middle and top it with white bread, then coat the pan in butter and fry the grilled cheese on either side for about 1-2 mins on low temp, until the bread turns golden brown, n that's it!!! u can add other stuff im just rlly bland w my food yk. i also make a lot of tuna fish sandwiches lol, i just mix tuna with mustard and mayonnaise (you can guess how much you need of either tbh) and put that between two pieces of toasted white bread, u can add seasonings to it but again im bland lol
SALAD STUFF is a huge one for me, i always try to have salad ingredients at the house bc its such a good snack!!!! the way i make salads is really easy, i get spinach and spring mix salad, cut up 2-3 strawberries depending on their size, then throw in blueberries, purple and/or green grapes, a can of mandarin oranges, and top it off with a FUCK TON of feta cheese, and that's it!!! u can top it off whatever dressings u like, idrk what dressings would go good w this so use your own discretion ig but yeah its super easy to make, this is one of my go-to meals!!!!
if you have a frying pan, tilapia is really easy to make and it's cheap too!!! you literally just brush the top of the tilapia with olive oil, season it with whatever seasonings you like (i usually only put a little salt, pepper, and a light dusting of tony's chachere's) then fry it on both sides and then you're done!!
i make a lottttttttttt of smoothies, which you do need a blender for, but if you do have one they're really filling for meals!! my favorites are strawberry banana and peanut butter banana smoothies. i just put a cup full of crushed ice, a single banana, 3-5 strawberries depending on their size, a tablespoon of sugar, guess the amount of milk needed, then blend that all together!!!!! the peanut butter banana recipe is the same, except instead of 3-5 strawberries i put in a tablespoon of peanut butter!! theyre both soooooo good and filling and easy to make, definitely would recommend!!
generally a lot of small grocery stores will have weekly sales papers at the front of their store that are free for customers to take, it's good to get in the habit of getting those papers and basing ur meal preps off that!!! some stores will have better deals than others for the same thing, the sales papers helps to keep track of it all :') maybe that's basic info to some of u but i literally didn't know this until i met my bf's mom and it has changed my life lol
otherwise most of the food i eat is canned/refrigerated meals or store bought pizza tbh it's embarrassing how little i know how to cook lmao, but there are tons of recipes on the internet! i find a lot of helpful tutorials on youtube, instagram, and tiktok!!
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Prompts im filling
Sea Mechanic Burden Of Truth AU
Publication Date: May 10th-20th
Raven is a lawyer, a prodigy of Abby Griffin, the most prolific lawyer on the east coast. She's sent to a small town in south Carolina to represent an oil company who is being sued for operations runoff that is apparently getting kids sick. She thinks it'll be an open and shut case, but then she meets Luna, the lawyer representing the other side. Her opposing counsel is brilliant and beautiful and keeps Raven on her toes in a way noone else has, and the more time they spend together in and out of the courtroom, the more raven realizes she's on the wrong side of this fight. Will she have the courage to go against her boss and mentor, the only mother figure she ever had? More over, will she have the courage to tell Luna how she feels about her?
Roarke CIA Prompt
Publication Date: tbd
Clarke joins the CIA to escape her own life by becoming someone else. She made it through the farm with top marks and a promising career ahead of her. Except the cover shes been assigned is to infiltrate Azgeda industries as part of a joint mission with the KGB. And her new "husband" is the biggest (and hottest) asshole she's ever met in her life.
Brolarke Accidental Courting Au
Publication Date: tbd
Bellamy and Clarke messed up. How were they supposed to know that gifting roan a fur blanket and a book was considered a courting gift? And how were they supposed to know that Roan giving them gifts meant they were engaged and now expected to marry? Can they navigate their own tentative friendship that they were slowly fixing and their own engagement to Roan individually and together?
Octabriel Pirates au
Publication Date : tbd
Falling inlove with a crewmate can be messy, but it doesnt stop Captain Octavia from falling inlove with her first mate ships doctor Gabriel Santiago. But when news of treasure reaches them Octavia sets her site on it despite Octavias reluctance. Can the two lovers find common ground or is this the end of their story?
Bellarke and Murven Ashes and Fire Au
Publication Date: tbd
As if living through an apocalypse isn't enough, Clarke finds out that the radiation cloud that swept the planet- that she and only about 10% of the population managed to survive- has left her with the power to manipulate fire. Luckily for her shes not the only one. She doesn't know how they found her but shes never been more grateful.
Bellamy, Raven, Murphy and Octavia find Clarke hiding out in an old house that she accidentally set on fire. They take her in and teach her how to control her powers. They tell her of the new destruction that they've found and the new dangers out there. It seems that everyone that survived has a mutation that allows them to manipulate and element and not everyone is using them just to survive.
While Clarke gets along with Raven, Murphy and Octavia, She and Bellamy butt heads, until they don't.
Raven and Murphy have known eachother for their whole lives and its a will they wont they situation- until the apocalypse and then their was no time for love. Or is there?
Bellarke Taylor Swift Lover Prompt
Publication Date: tbd
A modern au based on the song that's fluffy
Bellarke Falling For teacher prompt
Publication Date: tbd
Bellamy doesn't dance. But when Octavia begs to dance with her at her wedding he doesn't have the heart to say no. So he asks maid of honor Clarke Griffin to teach him how to dance. But what is supposed to be simply ballroom lessons turns into something more
Bellarke Her Song Prompt
Publication Date: tbd
Bellamy has always heard this voice calling and singing to him from the ocean. He has always only had one idea in mind, to sail over the horizon and find her. Unfortunately, unable to afford a ship and crew, the only choice for him is to become a pirate. Ten years later and the voice has tuned down until he almost forgets why he started sailing in the first place. However, one day after a bad attack that leaves his ship in bad shape and sends him overboard in the middle of the storm, the voice calls to him once again to save him.
Bellarke Man or Monster Prompt
Publication Date: tbd
Clarke lost her best friend in a tragic accident a few days ago. With her odd skill as a doctor, she does the only thing she can do and bring him back Frankenstein style. She stitches him back together using electric shock and a few spells from her spell book. By a miracle or mostly not he comes back but is he still him "clarke why would you do this?" "I couldn't live without you."
Memori A Mystery To Solve prompt
Publication Date :tbd
Murphy and Emori are freshman at Sanctum University and they are partnered for their first lit project. They're in the back corners kf the library (Emori actually working and Murphy perusing the old forgotten books) But then he pulls out of the shelf and it opens a secret room. In it appears to be an abandoned workstation of someone who was trying to solve a mystery. As Murphy and Emori read through the old Journals of Clarke Griffin as she outlines her attempts to find a long lost family heirloom that belonged to her father.
Murphy ofcourse wants to. Finish what clarke started and find it to sell it so he can make a fortune. Emori gets caught up in the forbidden romance outlined in her journals. And as they get closer to unraveling the mystery, they also find themselves getting closer to eachother
Bellarke a place for them prompt
Publication Date: tbd
Clarke and Bellamy finds a map at the "art supply store" that has a random place circled. They decide to check it out because it could mean more supplies, but its about a weeks trek there and back. While they may start the trip as unwanted allies, by the second day they realize they work really well together. Its like a natural fall in sync when away from prying eyes and expectations of camp. They make to what was once obviously a small city, now abandoned. But there they find a place that could potentially be there own. And with no grounders around, they realize this could be the break they've been looking for
An Affair That Led Him To Her Ch. 2
Publication Date: tbd
We get a look into Clarkes Pregnancy and into her new marriage
You Were Right Ch.2
Publication Date: tbd
Clarkes side, her reunion with Madi, her forgiving Bellamy and we time jump to after Transcendence
Midnight At The Dropship Chapter 2
Publication Date:tbd
Clarkes dad comes to the office, and Clarke and murphy become a pretend couple and murphys ex pops by
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nightklok · 4 years
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TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU WRITE PICKLES AND CHARLES PLEASE ;0; what are you inspirations for their dynamic? you write them so in love and it makes me immensely happy
Thank you firstly, means a lot because writing them happy brings me so much joy-even if I probably wrote more angst than fluff of them at a point-jkfl
I have answered Pickles here so I’ll write about Charles and why I write them together with the way I do! :D
Charles
I feel like Charles has a lot more emotions/feelings than the show tries to give him credit for (I like to think that by season 4, he learned to be a little be more emotional around the boys enough as he learned that it’s okay to be a bit emotional if he needs to around them BUT then Doomstar completely wrecked him) 
I really adore trying to write characters that are normally stoic in the show into more gentler/emotional people. I feel like the DVD extra of him taking calls and season 4/Doomstar shows he can be emotional! He has friends outside of Dethklok, his own hobbies/interests, definitely feels something and I don’t think my idea of him is really all that far fetched. He’s not just some asshole in a suit and while he has done questionable things, 9/10 it’s for the sake of Dethklok and not himself (Whoops forgot about Melmord here but even then I think Charles isn’t being selfish because he really does know he’s the only one that keep them in control-Melmord is just a snake oil salesman in a non-existent clown costume or something-)
I do keep in mind that he is a serious person and most likely is even when around people he completely trusts. He’s a person who can be a bit hard to read but he’s also not that hard when you actually get to know him and really know where to look when talking to him. Also I do headcanon that he is autistic but that’s for another story i think
He’s a character that even though I know is emotional inside, he does have to keep a stoic/non-expression look to him on the surface. He has the most important job in his life and he’s well aware of it. Being emotional/expressing anything but seriousness could possibly endanger him and Dethklok. It’s probably not by much because I do think even when he is emotional and can express himself, it’s still controlled to a degree. He can’t just let himself completely break in front of someone, he wouldn’t allow that at all.  I’d imagine he’d have to pretend that he only sees them as coworkers and nothing else or that the band would have to do the same to him or there would be kidnapping attempts. there probably is anyway on a yearly basis but thanks to him, it’s near impossible to do that as they do have highly trained klokateers.
But I still believe even regardless of that that it must get exhausting at times. A warm bed and wanting to sleep in is something that everyone desires to do at least once but they have to get up early and go to work or do whatever they need to do. Charles is human and he’s a human has needs like everyone else. I feel that he does probably have the days where just sleeping in sounds like a wonderful thing to do or that there are stressful days where he’d just need a long bath or something. Because of this, I don’t really seem him as aggressive or overly dominant when off work and in a relationship. Having to take care of a band and basically the world’s economy is exhausting. If he just wants to be taken care of, let him!!
Basically what I’m saying is let the guy take a nap
I do like to try and base off characters/writing off real people/situations so I think I gotta say Brian Epstein who managed the Beatles really helped in figuring out how Charles is like as a manager to Dethklok-I really began researching him around the time I got into the show because of class and it was interesting reading about him and I honestly think he’s one of the best band managers I heard of (next to Peter Grant of course-). I do also relate to Charles in some level though the patience he has I think is really almost inhumane because wow-
I kinda did write Chickles first before this so i might be repeating? So I’ll just leave this as it is but either way, I just like writing him as a little bit more emotional/down to earth. I get that it might be OOC a bit but I feel like the aggressive/dominant part is a little bit way too OOC-
Chickles
I honestly wonder why I write them so in love too if i have to be honest dsflkj
To answer what the inspirations; i feel like a huge factor into why I write them the way do (and probably any other ship) is because while i have had the feeling of falling in love before, i never really had the experience of being in a romantic relationship or went anywhere even close to that with someone. I feel like this is kinda obvious but its about the yearning I kinda do fantasize what it must be like but I do also take what I have learned/read/seen from either relationships I know of personally or seen in media and apply to them. I take both toxic and good relationships to see what I do/don’t want to write when it comes to relationships and what they would/wouldn’t do. I don’t use toxic relationships to completely shape a relationship but rather analyze it, see why it’s toxic in the first place, and see what I can do to either when I write relationships/pairings in general. Obviously I use Addams family’s Morticia and Gomez as a base for writing good relationships in general because who wouldn’t???
I also think writing terribly written Chickles fanfics and even ones with Charles probably help to in writing Charles. Are they near uncomfortable and make me wanna take a shower after reading them? Yes-but reading them not for entertainment/knowing what you’re getting into and then thinking about why you didn’t like it honestly helps in keeping a character in check. Not something I recommend for works that can potentially trigger you but for for those fics that just don’t nail their character right, can be useful in knowing how you don’t want to portray a character/relationship. It can be VERY easy to make Chickles a toxic pairing if you don’t know how to handle them right. Having a character like Charles be with someone like Pickles can be easy to butcher if someone doesn’t really study their characters. Charles doesn’t have to be completely dominant nor is he a Christian Grey-like character that doesn’t seem to know how to properly communicate with his partners. And Pickles is definitely not a weak, submissive person and is stronger/braver than anyone gives him credit for when writing those relationships. I like to think that while one may be a little more dominant/in control of the relationship, they are complete equals. If one needs to be taken care of, the other will step in and help them out.
Writing them that they had knew each other in the Snakes N’ Barrels era/80s has always been basically canon to me too! So I guess it just makes it also a lot easier to write them as in love when I set the stories in dethklok/present day; whatever problems that they had in the beginning that they fear the other might judge/yell/misunderstand for would be long since resolved/handled by the time the show aired. Whether they actually date or not by then kinda depends on the story but either way, they would have a strong relationship. They would have learned about each other, their problems and who they are inside and out. They fall in love with the little things they do and learn to handle any pet peeves with them but accept them as who they are. They have gone through so much together behind the scenes and their relationship to each other probably is one of the few that hasn’t changed when Dethklok got incredibly famous.
Season 3 and onward might be a different story. Though it’s not because of personal grievances but more of just the topic of keeping secrets & not telling the truth when they would’ve most likely been so honest with each other before. And honestly that’s what makes it REALLY devastating to write about; Pickles would know jackshit for at least a few years (Assuming that Season 3 & Season 4 took place within 3 years at best.)  and I don’t think watching someone you really love/care about die in front of you, then come back less than a year later and refuse to talk about why they’re here and give vague/cryptic answers is gonna put things back to normal.  (Maybe one day I’ll finish that fic I poured near 10,000 words in-).
And honestly it’s probably where I would like to explore on their relationship the most but it’s just so damn complex and detailed that I definitely need a lot of time to work on. They’d both want things to go back to normal but by Charles coming back, it signaled that things weren’t as what they used to be and that they most likely won’t be. What used to be a relationship based on comfort, familiarity, and a predicted unpredictability, has become something much more than neither of them have either prepared for. They’ll have to work hard to move past it and accept that like their relationship, things won’t be like they used to be. But with how much time they have spent together and that they still love each other regardless, they’ll be able to go through with this and get their happy ending!! (And I guess this is why I evolved from ‘definitely not the marrying type’ to ‘yeah they definitely get hitched after galaktikon’ because charles and pickles have probably signed a lot of important documents all their lives, so signing a marriage certificate that binds them to each other would be the most sentimental/important document he’s ever signed.)
All in all,they have such good potential writing because it’s just easy to write them for me. From their first meetings to first relationship to getting to be signed to Dethklok, I feel like they have something I probably won’t be able to replicate in other ships. They are an absolute joy to write and getting to explore.
God i could go on forever about them but im gonna stop dlfskj
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In which we close a narrative loop and dave is a tsun
Dave: Get the damn beta and save your friend's life!
Let’s get a move on!!
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Finally the betas are easily accesible when we want them to be, instead of spending 40 pages finding them by doing things like throwing cakes out the window
This notion strikes you as nonsensical. You can't imagine how a video game could save someone's life, and in any case, you're quite sure no one you know is in any danger.
.... fucking what
Is this before the other things? Have we gone slightly back in time in terms of the general story? Is this while John was fucking around in his room?
....Does this mean that we will lose these betas somehow in the inmediate future because nothing can ever be easy? Oh no
Anyway, these are your copies of the beta you received in the mail recently. You've labeled them with your name in BOLD RED PRINT to distinguish them from your BRO's copies, who labeled his in kind. Neither of you really gives a shit about this game or has any intention of playing it, but you'll be damned if you'll let that get in the way of your campaign of one-upmanship.
What is it with these kids and weird family relationships?
I predict we will lose our copies and we will have to get Bro’s copies, based on that each kid so far has had their parent/authority figure as an antagonistic force.
Dave: Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable.
Oh god this is indeed a pattern we are going to be following!
We had the “wrong name” bit, the “find your arms” bit, the “idiotic command” bit....Are we going to do them again for GG when they are introduced? I wonder what this command will be then.
You would never consider allowing any fluid even remotely resembling urine to touch your beloved TURNTABLES. That would risk breaking them, and a world without the gift of your godly science just doesn't sound like a place you want any part of. While you're at it, you might as well wipe out human civilization with a meteor or something ridiculous like that which will probably never happen.
I like that the “on your turntable” part is the outrageous part of “bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable” for Dave. Kid values his raps more than his life. Although it’s probably true that the world would be lesser without those wonderful, wonderful things.
And yeah, nothing to worry about with meteors and such, Dave. I’m sure nothing bad will happen, ever. Just like how those game copies you have are going to be safe and accesible forever.
That sort of thing only happens in stupid idiot movies for stupid idiots.
Oh come on, I’m sure you can find a bit of value in them, even if it’s in a “so bad it’s good” kind of way.
==>
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...wait, are you really considering it?
You will however contemplate bleating like a goat for IRONICALLY HUMOROUS purposes at a later date.
...I will keep that in mind in case it comes up later.
If PS has taught me anything is that these comics are Chekhov’s armories
Dave: Examine closet.
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So inside the closet there is yet another package (probably a gift from John, judging by the pattern we seem to be having. Seriously, do all these kids send each other presents in the same manner? ) and some sort of drink?
This is your closet. This is where you keep a lot of your crap.
Most accurate description of a closet ever
Like that BOX. And that bottle of... what is that? Is that...?
.....
Is that seriously a jar of piss? I would say “wtf” loudly, but your room is such a weird combination of things (including those weird fetus/ dissecated animals/ weeeeird shit) that I wouldn’t even be suprised
Dave: Check the blue box.
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.....WHAT?
W-Why is there the BLACK OILY SUBSTANCE THAT STAINED THE KITCHEN WHERE JOHN IS STRANDED IN THE VOID HERE, ON THE PACKAGE??
Does the oil have multiversal properties? If it stains one’s house it also retroactively stains his possesions?? Or is this package from after those events?? Has it gone back in time??
WHAT??
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But first let’s stop for a moment to appreciate the fact that Dave has a signed Stiller poster
This is the package that your friend John Egbert sent you for your 13th birthday a little while ago. It now contains nothing except a NOTE and a CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY vouching for the genuine Hollywood memorabilia which the box originally contained, and which you are now wearing to be IRONIC but also to be INCREDIBLY COOL IN A WAY SOMEHOW INTANGIBLY RELATED TO THE IRONIC NATURE OF THE ACCESSORY. You find it sort of exasperating to explain these subtleties to people.
John gave him the shades!! And they are apparently the real shades Ben Stiller wore in the movie!! That means that they are not *the* universal shades of PS, unless the shades in the Stiller bust were these ones and they somehow ended up there. But isn’t PS a videogame in this universe? But these shades had the universal glow?
Let’s not think too hard about that. It’s probably just an easter egg.
Also Dave please write a thesis on irony, the world needs it please.
The BOX also included a signed photo of BEN STILLER which now proudly hangs above your closet. Proudly and IRONICALLY.
I really like this totally (un)cool hipster kid.
Dave: Take box.
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ohwahtthefuck
WHY ARE THE SYLLADEXES GETTING WORSE???
So it classifies things based on the balance of consonants and vocals in the name of the object and assigning an index value like in a hash map.
Oh boy this is a completely useless one in terms of getting shit done quickly, unless you have a godly grasp on words and their composition.
You captchalogue the BOX through your HASH MAP FETCH MODUS. Your modus's current HASH FUNCTION resolves the index by valuing each consonant at 2, and each vowel at 1. The total is divided by your number of cards, and the remainder is the index. BOX = 2 + 1 + 2 = 5 5 % 10 = 5 The BOX is captchalogued in card 5.
Just...LOOK at this
Look at this madness.
Dave: Examine jar of unknown yellow substance in the closet.
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I don’t know why, but the combination of the quick turnaround, the fanfare and the fucking apple’s face makes this way more funny than it should be.
So it WAS apple juice after all.
Oh hell yes. It is an unopened container of APPLE JUICE. You thought you were all out. It is like fucking christmas up in here. This is so great. You've got to tell John about this immediately. He'll be so excited.
Oh wait, is this before the first conversation, when Dave and John talked about Little Monsters and Apple Juices? Is this why that conversation was as out of left field as it was?
I see how it all fits together now
Dave: Take juice.
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You captchalogue the JUICE into card 7. 2+1+1+2+1 %10 = 7.
Dear god is this system nightmarish
Dave: Access Pesterchum and pester John.
Oh I can see the loop closing!
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In addition to letting your buddy know about this outstanding juice windfall, you figure you'll wish him a happy birthday while you're at it. In your own cool, sort of roundabout way of course. Good thing you looked at that box he sent you, or you might have forgotten. You also might as well ask him about that beta. The kid's been harping about it for weeks. It would be cool if it came on his birthday. He'd be one happy camper.
Dave is such a tsundere in his friendships holy shit. You care about your friends a lot you dork
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That background is rad
Wtf is “Complete Bullshit” as an app. (Probably some complete bullshit)
Ill beats because the laws of this universe demand it
Hephaestus, isn’t that the god of the blacksmiths and craftsmen? Cool icon. Reminds me of those flash games where the icons all fought each other.
Of course his emote in Pesterchum is  S m o o t h
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-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 18:13 -- TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today EB: i got a little monsters poster, it's so awesome. i'm going to watch it again today, the applejuice scene was so funny. TG: oh hell that is such a coincidence i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here EB: ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage? TG: but TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory EB: all im saying is don't you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle? EB: try using your brain numbnuts. TG: why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like TG: i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous EB: it was the 15th day in a row howie mandel peed in his juice. TG: ok i can accept that TG: monster B-list celebrity douchebags are cunning and persistent pranksters TG: also fred savage has a really punchable face TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it TG: did you get the beta yet EB: no. EB: did you? TG: man i got two copies already TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro???? EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it. TG: yeah TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now EB: alright.
And they DID indeed have the exact same conversation!!!
We are indeed back in time!!
We are sooooo gonna lose those Betas!!!! : D
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justsomeantifas · 5 years
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its 11:59 its still technically tonight so
this is gonna be my reference point to questions abt venezuela, at least regarding things pre- May 19 2019. Its a bit scattered and it may get edited down along the road, but yeah.
short version that draws some similar conclusions: https://www.salon.com/2019/05/17/the-plot-to-kill-venezuela_partner/
one difference in scales that’s important to keep in mind: the lifespan of people is 2-7 decades. the lifespan of colonialism lasts centuries. the lifespan of media memory is a couple years, tops.
Most western narratives of venezuela start meaningfully at chavez, which is a mistake. The focus point in history around which the country flowed was the Caracazo. You probably already know about this, but a massive uprising took place in the heart of Caracas, against decades of dictatorship both formal and informal, after severe instability in the global oil market. The people were hungry, the riots were fiery, and the bullets bled. knows the death toll even now, but its estimated well into the thousands.  This happened pre-chavez, and started a cascade of events which brought him into limelight that you can read about here. not gonna go into more venezuelan history, but i talk a bit more here
chavez was democratically elected, multiple times.
   in 2002, after his first democratic election, he was kidnapped by US-backed troops and replaced by someone who threw out the 1999 constitution, which was as legitimate as any other made in venezuela’s colonial and violently capitalist history, seeing as it was the first (aka only, so far) of 26 constitutions actually approved by popular referendum. He was reinstated largely due to massive protests in support of him. Maduro however doesn’t really have as much of the charisma and support of chavez, which is creating problems - as well as exacerbating problems created by the economic crises ramping up just around chavez’s death. In 2015, there were elections to the National Assembly, which ended up with the Opposition winning a majority of the seats (which does show that there’s some degree of fairness in the elections, at least verifiably up til that point, yet that isnt rly accounted for when western media describes it as “undemocratic” - many of whom don’t apply the same scrutiny to their own country: such as this UN Human Rights councilor who also happens to be the crown prince of british-iraq, currently residing in the noted democracy of the Kingdom of Jordan, which has no vested interest or control over any particular export of Venezuela.).        
This turnout showed most of all that maduro had alienated as many as 2 million of his supporters, who didnt end up voting (though many also voted against him - trying to act on their feeling that whatever they want, its “not this”). This decreasing support also accelerates whats known as “Everyday Sabotage” - people not trusting in the government, and look out for their own interests contra everyone else. This is a danger inherent to tying “Socialism” to a primarily state project.       
However 1999 Constitution was never meant as an eternal document & it created mechanisms to call for new popular constitutional referendums to be held. That’s what the “Constituent Assembly” is about, which is what a lot of the western world is describing as him singlehandedly rewriting it (while also being “vague about its contents”), or “created by him”. Elections to the constituent assembly were boycotted by opposition, so that it would be government controlled & look like a sham in the eyes of the broader world. That being said, the assembly was called both as a reaction to losing election but also in response to intensifying crises - it was put forth (i don’t see any reason to believe in bad faith) as a way to come together and figure out how to address the needs that were driving people to protest - to address the desire for “not this”, but bc of the uncertainty, it was easily twistable by reactionaries by putting all emphasis on the former. Also timing corresponds with increasing fears of maduro straying from the path of chavez, the image of scrapping one of his strongest plays for smth unknown is risky - tho if there are other meaningful options given the situation im not sure. And the body’s got at least as much constitutional legitimacy as Guaido  (Chapter III)  
The 1999 constitution also enabled a recall election to be called against maduro in 2016, bc it was written with particular attention to holding public officials accountable - similar noble commitments helped to end the presidency of Rousseff & bring in Bolsonaro (who was also one of the people spurring on the investigations and whipping up a social base).
     (speaking of guaido & bolsonaro)
on Guaido:
part of student group in 2007 protesting against non-renewal of coup-assisting network, who the CFR (one of the major think tanks of the cold war still playing a big role in foreign policy today) considered “most important network”   
close friend of Leopoldo Lopez, the aforementioned coup plotter.
politician since 2010, won a couple small elections
Unknown to majority of general population until 2019, most venezuelans surveyed didnt know him   
Plan Pais       
plans to privatize state owned industry & allow investment from foreign oil companies       
center-right neoliberal draped in platitudes of “stability”, “revitalization”, “security”, and “rescue” - a message seemingly deliberately targeted to become more and more resonant with increased sanctions.
/on Guaido
governing is about the expression of power. I wanna live in a world where that power isn’t expressed, but as long as the exploitation of the global working class continues unabated, id prefer some of that power be put towards helping the poor.     
there is no such thing as a static state of affairs, there’s no “goldilocks zone” out in the political universe where we tweak things finely until we find whats best for everyone, only different rates of change in different dimensions. what we need to do is figure out how we can push that state of affairs in a direction so that everyday people have the power to take control of their lives. re
re: “constitutionality” - if the supreme court calls it constitutional then its constitutional. period. There’s no such thing as a supreme court as an “independent branch” of government, but there are different degrees of integration into the rest of it.       
The Supreme Tribunal of Venezuela has 32 members, (a bit more than a dozen put in by the national assembly, while the PSUV held it), and the opposition holds abt 3 away from a supermajority. Each member of the court holds their spot for 12 years. If that’s “The Most Corrupt In The World” according to Transparency International, i wonder what world the 9-person lifetime-appointed US Supreme Court (2 of which appointed by trump, and save for pulling a Weekend At Ginsbergs, likely 3) is on. In fact, one of the tactics that the more radical circles of democrat voters are putting forward is to pack the Supreme Court. Because thats how shit actually gets done, or at the least how shit is prevented from being committed w the stamp of legality. FDR learned that lesson too, in trying to pass what is today known as “The New Deal”
My comparisons to trump are for specific end: these actions are exerted on levers of liberal democracy, and every single liberal democracy is susceptible to them in some ways.
whats a “dictator”? if hes unelected, the millions of people who participated in the elections dont seem to think so. if maduro is a dictator, then what is donald trump? the majority of ppl didnt vote for him yet hes still governing. macron’s popularity has at several points been less than 1/3, and the yellow vest protestors have been violently attacked - why is he not “a violent dictator with only the support of the military”? These terms are not neutral.
“their elections are highly flawed” So What? show me a country whose elections arent.   
“opposition jailed” - ok but coup plotters don’t get off easy in any liberal democracy. If someone - say Bernie Sanders - said “enough is enough” and succeeded in overthrowing the current government with the help of a foreign government…. you think they’d let him go free? what if ten years later he was getting his supporters all riled up to do it again? how long you think he’d be in jail for (assuming he can survive well into his 100’s)? You think more than 13 years? Think he’d get house arrest? Some US states lock you up for posessing weed up to 10. If you stay long enough around this blog, youll find plenty of other examples of much more cruel and unusual punishments. Look at Chelsea Manning, look at Oscar Riviera…   look at the US protestors saying Guaido is illegitimate
 what we have to keep in mind most of all, is to show that the contradictions being exploited are inherent to Liberalism. Contradictions are just expressed most freely at the margins - the interstices
poor economic decisions happen everywhere - 2008/2009 still affecting the entire world there’s violence thats “natural”, and violence thats “intolerable”. The dividing line is whether we have anything to gain by changing things.
sanctions:    started under obama, originally targeted specific individuals, used as precedent for more generalized. They’re indirect - they have a “squeezing effect”, takes already-existing problems & just makes them markedly worse. also doesn’t necessarily correlate with emigration, bc it takes a lot of money to start a new life somewhere else, and sanctions disproportionately affect the poor.   
war wouldnt likely look like (many) US boots on the ground - we’ve got plenty of other places to be. It’d look like guns being smuggled to counter-protestors. It’d look like sending resources to neighboring countries like Colombia or Brazil who would then use their troops. Colombias ruling party is right wing populists - much of current president’s campaign was run on fearmongering abt venezuelan socialism - they’re raring to go. It’d look like drones https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caracas_drone_attack. Also means there likely won’t be a sudden trigger, its a gradually escalating stressful gradually-more-warlike situation.  
If war does break out - where would the refugees go?  In reality the majority would go to Colombia, but if anything significant breaks out there will be a stream of those looking to find shelter in the US, which has advertised itself as a beacon of hope - what would happen to them? some may get taken in as a gesture of showmanship, but nowhere close to the majority.   
speaking of the US - imagine if trump and bolton manage to actually plot a winning coup. Do you think that that wont be his main bullwark against ppl like Bernie? you think the media and rest of the democratic party wont jump on that narrative and “begrudgingly” support a fascist because the alternative might mean supporting single payer and not-having-good-for-ratings-climate-apocalypse?
another term thrown around without regard is “once vibrant” - for whom?
most articles ive seen just take this as an axiom, and dont find any cognitive dissonance when also saying chavez reduced poverty hugely.
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 The answer to that rhetorical question: Citgo is venezuelan, before chavez none of the wealth went back to venezuela - thats what “vibrancy” means.  
     many similarities with BP (the-artist-formerly-known-as-the-anglo-iranian-oil-company)
in age of climate change & vocal ppl about phasing out oil, the more one’s livelihood is connected to oil, the more unstable ones country will be - either that, or the more instability ones country will cause.
“Oil exports fell by $2,200 per capita from 2012 to 2016, of which $1,500 was due to the decline in oil prices.”  
The drop in price that affected the venezuelan economy so much in 2014 was largely by US shale fracking
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in 1970’s Chile, copper was the main product of Chile - allende nationalized the mines, and in return wall street dropped the
(also worth noting that venezuela’s got non-insignificant untapped shale basins)      
At least venezuela used the oil money to fund social programs instead of like, pad the pockets of Raytheon.
also oil price wars in africa highly correlated w oil (whose annual production doesn’t even combined total venezuelas)
a couple ppl have raised concerns abt my strong stance on equivocal dismissal - if there’s a difference, if there’s some way of reading your statement that says “X country that the State Dept wants to invade is an anomoly in the otherwise free world”, then that’s acting to push the discourse towards normalization & invasion. It’s not “whataboutism”, just basic consistency.   
now more than ever, narratives are affected by people. They may not be ones we had a hand in forging, but the way that we propagate them actually does have measurable effects on the larger-scale political outcomes. Always look for the base assumptions, as well as the direction   
sure denounce Chavez. sure denounce Maduro. denounce Kim, Xi, Castro, anyone. But if there’s no equally or proportionally loud denunciations of the horrors perpetrated by allies - the “assumed”, “natural” violence, then you’re acting to reinforce the narrative of exceptionalism.   
Just make sure after you take a breath, you denounce Saudi Arabia & Yemen, Israel for Palestine, the conditions which brought Argentinian/Brazillian, Brazilian coup, the US for Puerto Rico, the conditions which have murdered dozens of journalists in Mexico per year…  
what people want most of all is stability. “A debate over whether it is mismanagement and corruption by the Maduro government or the sanctions that are the author of the crisis is largely irrelevant. The point is that a combination of the reliance on oil revenues and the sanctions policy has crushed the policy space for any stability in the country.”
government’s errors and tensions   
fixed exchange rate -> black market      
took 5 years to address changing relation between dollar & BsF, all the room between those two curves left a huge room for intensifying crises, though since it also corresponds with the death of chavez, it sorta makes sense.   
antidemocratic actions and remarks by maduro  
scattered responses filled w half-solutions   
diversification needed, but how do you diversify an economy filled with rampant poverty, malnutrition, illiteracy… 
(nominally begrudging) support for mineral extraction 12.4% of territory opened to extraction - “Special Economic Zone” as a method of managing decay       
this is also what much of the reality of “economic diversification” looks like
not enough socialism. (even fox agrees!) Venezuela shows the limits of Social Democracy in countries living outside of the Imperial Core - esp the dangers if you’re in the crosshairs already bc of oil         
started out as populism, gradually grew as confronted more.            shows shaping influence on political organs from actions of foreign actors - if you’ve survived a coup before, you’re gonna become paranoid about any more of them - especially when the coup plotters say “hey lets do more coups”       
also shows the weakness of only having a small number of charasmatic faces representing the movement - if one dies and theres no clear and popular replacement, then you’ll lose ppl who were largely brought in by the charisma, weakening your political project, and creating cracks for reactionary forces to take advantage of - especially in times of transition.       
bourgeoisie still control a majority of the economy.            Capitalist businesses are internally unaccountable, and in this age of intensified global trade, one can punish countries for straying from the pack by moving business & focus away. If you’re looking for dictatorships, look at the thousands of private companies run as dictatorships daily       
capital flight is a real effect, precisely because socialism is fundamentally and irreconcilably against the self-interest of the bourgeoisie. not necessarily against the interest of the humans-who-are-also-bourgeois, but of the impersonal self-sustaining force of capital.           
Have you ever pulled something out of an electrical socket, and seen a quick spark? The reason that occurs is bc of what’s called an induction current, which is a fancy physics word for flowing electricity not liking to suddenly change its flow. If you accidentally touch that spark, you might feel it, but youll live to tell the tale. But if you only take the plug out halfway & touch it, that’s a different story.  Capital flows similarly.
   my country (lithuania) has been facing sky-high emigration since the collapse of the USSR (with an added boost after 08-09), we have also consistently had one of the highest suicide rates in the world (#7), a minimum wage of about 3 Euros an hour (after a recent increase), as well as one of the highest prison populations in Europe (discounting Russia & Belarus… which like….)   
when are we gonna be invaded? when will the US media talk about our pain?  
oh wait, they did. We cried all pretty for the TV cameras, then they got a bozo nobody really knew of to denounce the government, who they called dictatorial (though it was far from ideal, massive bureaucracies dont tend to mix well with single-person-decision-making). And to be fair, the fact that the government was unpopular wasnt entirely undeserved. But what was promised to us was the idea of “Freedom”, “Free Enterprise”; to “Get Rid of Corruption” and institute “Real” Democracy". They said we’d be integrated into the glorious capitalist west, and we understood that to mean that we’d be in the position of a Germany, or at least an Austria or smth. But they never meant to integrate us into the imperial Core, we have always been seen as part of the Periphery - the “assumed” violence that “naturally” happens.    
Then we got to where we our today. Some of the stuffs more available, but expensive. Most of the bureaucracy’s still around, it just helps fewer people. We stand as an example of what to expect, in one of the best case scenarios, you would join our emigrees now making up a significant percentage of underpaid house-servants aka maids across the EU.  
if we want the people of Venezuela to be healthy, safe, and fulfilled, then:
speak out and pointing to the effects of US sanctions is incredibly important. They’ve already killed 40,000 people in the last year, and 300,000 more are in extreme danger (and millions more in long-term risk).
what does it mean when you simultaneously sanction trade with a place but also demand they let you give them humanitarian aid?
if there is to be action taken by the international community, then the US has forfeited its right to speak. They threw it away once in 2002, and obama rhetorically picked it up and dusted it off so that trump could throw it in a bigger dumpster, thats also on fire. However we also still live in a world deeply shaped by US Hegemony, so the opinions of its close trade partners & closest-knit media buds should be seen as influenced as such. Doesn’t mean that theyre wrong on everything too, but they still feel the magnetic pull of the US economy and ecosystem (as well as their own potentially imperial interests) and the effect of that force cannot be discounted.
transitioning our economies away from oil & away from globalized neoliberalism which only values peripheral states by their exports - dissolves tensions of how to produce in unproductive terrain   
socialize medicine in the US, so that drug companies run by dictatorships can’t control their lives & ours. healthcare is especially reliant on imports, sanctions affect especially strongly.  
normalize the ideas of Socialism, without taking the easy way out of “oh no dont think of Venezuela, think of sweden or denmark”. None of them are Socialist, but to avoid the complexities of Venezuela is to imagine that US attempts at socialism wouldn’t involve significant capital flight. If we don’t consider that, if we don’t have solid actionable plans to deal with that, while also facing the inherent complexity of changing material conditions, then we’re gonna waste whatever shot we get.   
redirect conversation normally centered around government towards support of the tens of thousands of small business co-operatives, where people live their daily lives in a democratic manner.
on The Communes:
    “delegating responsibility throughout all members, and bringing important decisions to the whole to work through and find the best possible solution… They create “collective criteria” together; agreements stipulating whether individuals have power over certain decisions or whether it is up to the whole group. However, he assures that these “are not rigid, they can change at any moment.” The cooperative I lived with in Venezuela had regular organizational meetings where they informally came to agreement and were even able to come back to re-evaluate decisions that didn´t seem to be satisfactory for the whole group in this same way. Decisions and decision making, in this way, are viewed as a process not contained by meetings and discussions in board rooms, but are always being analyzed and made better by the process of putting them into action, and not only by thinking them out and writing them down.”
- the “Self Government of the Producers” - aka what it looks like for cooks to govern.   
they have communal councils as well - neighborhood councils in the same vein that so many (rightfully) find inspiring in Kurdistan . They preexisted chavez, but they were able to proliferate and be given legal recognition through him. I understand that legal recognition can act to ‘name’ a body & pin it to smth that doesn’t match its requisite variety - how dynamic it is, but imo as its currently legislated it recognizes a good amount of the autonomy that they had already been excersizing. - liable to change                                government recognition of co-ops has drawbacks too, and correlates negatively with that coop’s success           
           "A good example of this intention is the de-emphasis that cooperatives in Venezuela put on advertising or “marketing” products, and instead push to find more people to become part of the cooperative, and choose the services or products they provide based on community decisions about what is needed. A cooperative I worked in […] was originally a family owned and operated theater group that traveled around the country performing theater pieces that highlighted social and environmental issues. When they joined the […] cooperative, the larger co-op did an analysis and decided they wanted a natural fruit juice concentrate producer and gave the group a loan to acquire capital and start producing. They have been doing this for only a couple of years now but have already paid back the loan to the larger cooperative and are bringing extra money in to support themselves, better their services, and supply extra funds to the larger cooperative for community projects such as the recently [2012] built community health center…                  
The cooperative services I experienced and learned about in Venezuela were health, dental, food, and a separate example of trash services. A dental cooperative […] provides quality dental services (I know because I used them) almost every day for affordable prices. You don´t have to be a member of the cooperative, and you don´t have to make an appointment. It takes only a couple of hours, and emergency situations are treated with urgency. The health center, built with funds provided by all the associated cooperatives[…], works the same way. Anyone can go there, the services are subsidized by the cooperative so they are affordable, the clinic and workspaces are clean and well taken care of, and the quality of the service is great. Worker-members of the cooperative receive health care at the facility without charge except for the massage and acupuncture services that they also provide at a really low price.
           […] food services are priced to provide more access to food for the community in which it exists. The original and persistent intention is to make the best situation for people on all ends of the process. The producers are part of the cooperative and are part of the group that decides the prices that growers get, as well as the prices that the food is sold for. This means that both farmers and workers at the market decide what to charge a person, which ultimately affects how much money the growers receive, as well as if the food is affordable for the people who need to eat who live in the city. In a normal capitalist market system these parties are separated and put up against each other, raising prices for consumers and lowering them for small producers, excluding those people from getting enough money to afford all the necessities that are typically only provided at a high price.
           One communal council, a parallel governing organization of community members linked to investment funds from the national government, in the city of Merida, Venezuela organized themselves to get funds to buy a trash collection truck. The truck at the time was used for a specific waste removal project that removed waste from their community regularly but was not a traditional collection service. However, they did have plans to expand the project to start their own collection service, and this would be provided by the commal council, an anti-capitalist organization which does not require people to pay for the service. Although this is not a “co-operative” as some hardliner co-operative enthusiasts might point out, it is a horizontal anti-capitalist organization widening access of necessary services to the larger community run by community members; following cooperative values of equity, inclusion, and solidarity I believe this to be an example of cooperative economics and action. It appears to me that economic inclusion is much more likely to widen only when those who are being excluded are included in the process of organizing the services and are in control of the economy.“
until the communes, workers cooperatives, and the like are strong enough to rule themselves, having Maduro in power is the only option given to us which doesn’t trigger the control of reactionaries. People make their own history, but not in situations of their choosing - the exact outcome isn’t predetermined, but there’s only a limited number of poles - gravitational attractors - towards which that trajectory is heading at any particular time.   
if maduro acts to squash the power of the communes, then thats a different situation. but until that point, we outside of the country must work to center any discussion on these bodies - they are the heart of the country and of whatever social revolution has occurred/is further possible. They are filled with lessons for us to learn from, and show how rich and dynamic the organized populace can be if they are allowed to control their communities. (ex of dealing with gang violence from @ 22:50)       
This is all said with recognition that many chavistas have acted against communes, the bureaucratic machine acts to co-opt much of their energy, its linguistically obscured the concept of "ownership” with that of “control”, and that the state has changed its messages over time. But the heart of the communes is what’s a priority, and they have acted against the government overstepping its bounds & mis-identifying them. But whats important is that there’s a feedback process in the gvt to actually allow them to assert their autonomy. Liberals will do their utmost to close those channels.
   If Guaido and the Popular Will take control of power, be assured that whatever gains made in organizing the everyday people of Venezuela will be at the top of the chopping block. How effective that suppression turns out to be is undetermined - it might turn out to strengthen the communes, but that outcome would be damage control, not something to try and bullseye.
Effective Propaganda knows that its more effective to control what’s left out than control what’s put in. Keep that in mind, and study trajectories and forces.
other links:
https://next.podbay.fm/podcast/1363342644/e/1551711604
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Voc08vh9cJY
https://www.counterpunch.org/2013/06/21/a-cowboy-in-caracas/
https://thenextrecession.wordpress.com/2017/08/03/the-tragedy-of-venezuela/
https://www.multpl.com/venezuela-gdp
https://www.jacobinmag.com/2014/04/fivethirtyeights-venezuela-problem
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/why-venezeulas-middle-class-is-taking-to-the-streets/
https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/bjkmq8/fiery-protest-leader-leopoldo-lopez-faces-13-year-sentence-in-venezuela
https://potent.media/minimum-sentencing-for-marijuana-possession
https://www.thoughtco.com/core-and-periphery-1435410
https://popularresistance.org/building-the-commune-radical-democracy-in-venezuela/
http://www.antiwar.com/regions/regions.php?c=Venezuela
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