#my mom yelled at me yesterday. bc im thinking of dropping out & just either retrying or doing the 21+ quiz to study when im 21
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"i thought ur antidepressants were supposed to help you" really hits different when you know they are helping! but also autistic burnout looks almost the same (vent in tags oops)
#when im having a depression episode i cant enjoy ANYTHING#like at my worst all i could do was lay in bed and watch anime and i didnt even enjoy that#& autistic burnout gets close to that yk#the permanent exhaustion the constantly being on the verge of tears#but if autistic burnout is depression then my special interests are the cure.#i cant not enjoy EVERYTHING because i still enjoy my special interests. i can go sit at my desk to play ffxiv for several hours right now#and feel some semblance of happiness#i can go draw one of my ocs#play dishonored!#hell i could probably gain happiness from playing splatoon#the temporary highs in a horrible low#but when i tell people they just go 'well doing ur homework is also distraction' YEAH BUT ITS THE HOMEWORK IM DISTRACTING MYSELF FROM#i dont want to be miserable all the time do you really think studying would help#my mom yelled at me yesterday. bc im thinking of dropping out & just either retrying or doing the 21+ quiz to study when im 21#i NEED a break#i can get some mindless job and be fine but not school yk#my life wont be ruined forever just because i dont finish my exams Right Now#i need time to recover from almost 7 years of continuous pressure to succeed???#autistic burnout is so funny ill be like 'nothing matters life sucks' & then i play ffxiv & im happy again#personal
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