#my source for the legal stuff: https://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-parentage.htm?rdeLocaleAttr=en

[1ddotdhq]

❄️Tues 27 Oct ‘20🐖

Ho ho ho! Liam is (alongside all of his spooky content) also giving us Christmas realness and releasing a Christmas song called Naughty List on Friday. There’s clearly a woman’s voice on the song, but he hasn’t credited his mystery collab. There is some speculation that it’s Dixie D’Amelio, but I guess we’ll have to wait for Friday to find out. Liam’s current constant companion Conor has been making back to back appearances in his Tik Toks, lending credibility to my theory that they are roomies right now. Or maybe they just can’t get enough of each other! Harry has stepped up on twitter to retweet one of Joe Biden’s ads and say, “If I could vote in America, I’d vote with kindness”. HSHQ has released Golden merch, including a cute Italian themed hoodie - proving that they CAN make good merch when they WANT TO, but they they don’t want to very often, as they also came out with a T-Shirt that could have been completely ripped off of a tumblr shitpost that made fun of their terrible T-Shirts. They also tweeted a mock-up picture of the new Co-Op live stadium, which looks cool, but shows no signs of being pandemic friendly. 

Louis liked a tweet about his promo, which is one of the rare times he’s chimed in on the discourse. 1075 The River (a radio sation) tweeted, “ugh @/Louis_Tomlinson has my heart”, and @/LTxPromo said, “does your station have @/Louis_Tomlinson music to spin as well?”. Ever the sassmaster, Louis liked the second tweet! Louis made headlines for his support of with Marcus Rashford, and iHeartRadio posted his (warning?) selfie, captioning it, “We get so lost in @/Louis_Tomlinson’s eyes”. Hey what a coincidence - I know someone you can talk to about that! And, speaking of radio promo, Niall (who spent all of yesterday in a studio, making MORE MUSIC we won’t get to hear for a while) went around doing more radio interviews to promote his upcoming concert, even saying about One Direction, “we were just kids when we started, and now there’s kids...kids everywhere!” He didn’t mention any names, but went on to reassure the interviewer (Lorraine) that HE would not be adding to the brood of children any time soon: “I’m comfortable with where I’m at, at the moment”. 

Before we get into the next bit, can we just spend one more gleeful second with the Italian sun shining on our faces and the scent of Christmas pudding? Okay, well. On we go with the “never ending cycle of media speculation”, and our favorite pub dwelling pigs.

Celebtm published part two of their article on Briana and Micheal Straus and it is...a mess. As are, by the way, the instagram comments under that post, but we’ll get there. The article itself is riddled with contradictions: is Louis an involved father who loves his son or is Briana a single mother who is struggling to provide for him? After making a few claims about how involved Louis was with Freddie, Straus went on to say that he himself “wanted to step up and be the man in Freddie’s life” and that “whether or not [Louis is] an absentee father isn’t for me to say”. That is to say, it’s all bullshit. Including, by the way, the initial claim that he was scammed out of his money, as he goes on to say that he told Briana not to worry about paying him back! We often make jokes about these people, but let's be frank: Michael Straus is vile, and the reason that he is suing Briana is because he’s upset he never got to look at her new breasts. That - however ridiculous - is the premise of the case. And if that wasn't messy enough, guess who works for celebtm and is getting in on the action: BOOPSY! Yes, our old pal Boopsy-the-celeb-stalker is also in that mess of a comments section in her official work capacity, letting it be known that she's looking for inside dirt on Briana.

But now let’s dive into what Celebtm had to say about the whole thing, because they have taken a sharp U-turn since part 1 of this article. Hmmm...wonder why? The site remained confused on what their position on Freddie’s parentage was: they leaned heavily on Michael’s quote that said, “he is 100% Louis and Briana’s son”, but also they quoted fans who said that he wasn’t, and then!! They claimed (in the comments section of the instagram post) to have offered to pay for a paternity test for Louis. Well, hey I know a ton of people that would start a gofundme and pay for it themselves (not that we’d need to, uh, I think Louis’ got it covered)! They then claim that LTHQ declined their offer because, “the deal he made with Briana saves him millions. We know she only receives less than 60k a year and the money meant for Freddie goes to … self upkeep for Briana”. This is even funnier today, when Louis’ net worth was calculated at 47 million pounds. 

So here’s where the research gets verbose, but I’m going to attempt to present it as simply and concisely as I can. As far as I can tell, there are two ways for an unmarried man to claim paternity in California: the first is to sign a Voluntary Declaration of Paternity upon the child’s birth, at which point your name goes on the birth certificate (this fits with the birth certificate we’ve seen), and you have full parental rights and obligations (custody and child support included) without a necessary DNA test. The second way is to arrange a court hearing and establish paternity through the courts, which does require a DNA test. If you have signed a VDP and then wish to change your mind, you can either fill out a rescission form (which must be done within 60 days of signing the original VDP but only needs one party’s signature) or you can go to court. Celebtm is claiming that Louis has no rights, and is voluntarily paying 60k a year in order to MAINTAIN this Schroedenger’s Baby situation rather than take a test and end the speculation. Even odder, this claim makes it seem like even LOUIS doesn’t know if Freddie is his or not, and he’s just. Paying this random family for a child that might or might not be his, but he’s not involved. But all of this makes perfect sense if he DID sign a VDP, then immediately rescinded it, and is now paying for something other than child support. 

TLDR: this all looks like a mess that doesn't add up but it all makes sense if he did sign this one document, took it back, and is now paying for something other than child support - let’s call it secrecy rather than silence, because if there’s one thing we know about this family, it’s that they can’t shut up.