#my therapist has used the term neglect and yeah okay maybe that can explain whatever feels like a hole in me

[tidepoolalgae]

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[anotheronechicagobog]

Tylenol and Tequila Part 3

written by @anotheronechicagobog​

Warnings: swearing, mature themes, fire, chemical reactions

A/N: This one is REALLY long. I don’t know the word count but it took up ten pages in google docs with size 11 font, so I hope you guys like it!

Also, I came up with the term ‘Hermann Horde’ to describe him and his kids, I think it’s hilarious, but let me know what you gusy think.

Stella Kidd has always wanted to be a mother. To experience the joy, fear, love, frustration, cheer that being a parent brings. The only problem? She didn’t want to be the one to actually give birth to them and she didn’t agree with surrogacy. But she had been homeless and in the foster system when she wasn’t living with her addict parents, so she knew that there were lots of kids who just needed someone to love them. This had been a point of contention between her and Grant. Biological kid(d)s are the only ones he would accept. It would end in screaming matches, Grant saying at some point that it would happen whether she liked it or not. That should have been a huge red flag for her, but she’d loved him so she ignored it.

With Kelly though, he understood. He understood that if she got pregnant she would have to take leave from being a firefighter for a while, so long as there weren’t complications with the pregnancy that were severe enough to end her career, and that was something he would never ask or expect her to do. When Stella wanted to have a serious conversation about kids he watched her collapse in relief that he shared her opinions. That he thought it would be better for both of them to foster older kids, pre-teens and teenagers.

Kelly had never liked Grant. Always thought that he was a manipulative piece of shit, and every even remotely serious conversation had been about Grant ignoring Stella’s wants, needs, and choices. If Grant showed his face again it would take an army and at least one dragon to stop him from killing Grant.

The only people they’d told were Boden, cause he’d need to know as their chief, Matt and Sylvie because they’d need someone to talk to about it besides each other and references. They’d all been ecstatic for the couple, Sylvie in particular. She didn’t remember much about her time in foster care, but she remembered enough to know how terrible, nightmarish, and broken it was. 

Kylie was the first kid who popped up in both their minds. Her dad was a neglectful cop who had multiple families and her mom was a heroin addict. Kylie did what she could to remain afloat, to distance herself from who her parents are and what they do, but it was hard. Her dad just showing up and doing whatever the fuck he wanted and leaving ruins in his wake, and her mom was only around a third of the time, almost always on a bender with whoever she was ‘dating’ that week. Kylie had spent most of her childhood living with her grandma after being placed there by social services but was dumped back on her mom after seven months after her grandma passed three months in the system. The four months she spent being tossed between group homes and foster families were not times she advertised or wanted to remember. Girls on Fire had brought the support that she hadn’t had for so long into her life. When she missed a Girls on Fire meeting Stella got worried, it didn’t correlate with her character. 

A call to detective Jay Halstead from Kelly brought out the depressing truth. Her mom had gotten high, signed her out of school, and then dragged her to a scummy abandoned warehouse to help her score some product. Kylie managed to slip away and call 911 for help after the dealer smacked her around for saying ‘no’. But he found her at the end of the call, and he didn’t react well. They’d rushed over to the ED when they found out where she was.

Stella actually started to cry when she saw the state Kylie was in. So frail, monitors beeping, covered in bandages, arm in a sling. Kelly tracked down Natalie to figure out what her condition was, and it wasn’t good. Amelia Wood, a social worker showed up just as she finished explaining everything.

“Hello, I’m Amelia Woods from DCFS, here for Kylie Reyez?”

“Of course, Ms. Woods as I was just explaining to lieutenant Severide, Kylie has a minor concussion five bruised ribs, a shoulder fracture, and we’re waiting on the results from her sexual assault kit.”

“And why would you be explaining it to lieutenant Severide? The only relatives listed in her file are her deceased grandmother, ineligible father detective Mark Reyez, and criminally negligent mother Daphne Adams.”

“My girlfriend Stella Kidd runs a program called Girls on Fire, a fire department outreach program for girls, and Kylie’s signed up for it. When she didn’t show up for the last session she had a really bad feeling and Kylie wasn’t answering her phone so we called some people and found out she was here. We rushed over, Stella’s actually with her now. What, uh, what’s going to happen to Kylie?”

“Well she’s not going to live with either of her parents, and she has no other family, so she’ll go into the system.”

“Group home or foster family?”

“... Group home to start... We’ll try to find a foster for her but that’s unlikely at her age.”

“Stella and I are in the final stages of getting approved as a foster family, would it be possible for Kylie to be placed with us?”

“Who’s the social worker assigned to you?”

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After a week in the ED Kylie was permitted to leave, and go to Severide and Kidd’s apartment. Kylie was ecstatic, Stella and Kelly had made it clear that their apartment was a safe place for Kylie, that all she would have to do was be a teenager. There would be some rules and curfew in place but Stella and Kelly were just focusing on making sure that Kylie had a stable home.

When they got home Stella gingerly showed Kylie her room. It was plain, had been seen Matt moved out the year before, but Sylvie had offered to help Kylie decorate it when she was comfortable. “We can arrange for that shopping trip in a few days, let’s just get you settled in first.”

“Ladies, our deep dish order has been placed and should be here in forty minutes. I think that maybe we should take this time to talk about some rules and stuff. Then we can chow down on pizza.”

Stella chuckled at her boyfriend’s attempt at humour, and Kylie smiled at how they looked at each other. “That sounds like a good idea Kel. You ready Kylie?”

“Yeah, let’s hear it.”

“Okay, so curfew is 10:30pm, but if there’s something special going on that night just let us know in advance and we can extend it.”

“School is priority, if you want a part-time job or something that’s fine, but school comes first.”

“Look, we don’t want you drinking or having sex-”

Gagging from Kylie interrupted Stella, “yeah, yeah, it’s gross to talk about with your guardians but we get that as a teenager that’s just something you might get into, so if you need condoms or a ride home or something, just let us know or call, we just want you to be safe. We won’t exactly be happy that you’re partying or whatever, but anything’s better than playing keep-up.”

“And if there’s stuff you want to talk about, we’re here. And if you don’t want to talk to us, that’s okay too. As long as you’re talking to someone, a teacher, guidance counselor, Brett, whoever, just as long as you talk to someone.”

“When we’re on shift we’ll both have our phones on if you need us, we’ll leave you by yourself so no parties, please. If you want to have a friend over that’s fine, but let us know beforehand and we’d like to meet them first.”

“The system actually covers therapy bills so you could even talk to a therapist if you want. And as far as the money from the government goes, we’ll budget it so that some pitches into groceries, and there’s some spending money for your room or stuff you want, but the rest will go into a post-secondary school fund for you, which we’ll also be personally putting some money into.”

“... Really?”

“Yes, really. We are here to make sure that you have support, and that includes making sure you have some money for when you’re out of high school.”

“Thank you...”

“You really don’t need to say ‘thank you’ sweetheart, we’re here to help and love you as much as we can.” The doorbell ended their conversation that left tears brimming the eyes of all three, “I guess it’s time for pizza.”

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There had been some disagreements and adjustments, but overall everyone could agree it had been a complete success. A month later, after the move-in and hours spent convincing Kylie that having money spent on her was okay, Sylvie, Stella and Kylie met up at the nice shopping area of downtown with money to spend. The plan was to spend the morning shopping then meet up with Kelly and the rest of 51 at the park for a picnic with the lovely souls from 51, 21, and MED.

“Where to first, Kylie?”

“Umm, a bedding store maybe?”

“Kylie, we talked about this, it’s okay that we want to spend money on you, okay?”

“Kylie, I went through this too. I still get freaked out when people spend money on me, especially if I didn’t have time to discourage them from doing so. I’m still pretty stingy if I’m honest. I know that it’s hard, you feel panicked and like you’re not worth this, you’re not worth this waste of money. What I find helps is taking lots of deep breaths, going straight to the sale and clearance racks, and remembering that all the stores we’re going to are family businesses, and that by spending money here we are supporting small businesses and people who work really hard to earn money and own a store of their own.”

Kylie thought for a moment, taking in Sylvie’s advice. “Okay, I’ll try that.”

“Okay.”

“So, where to?”

“I could use a couple shirts...” Stella and Sylvie smiled brightly, grabbed onto an arm, and marched over to the nearest boutique.

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After dropping everything off at the apartment the three women made it to the park a thirty minutes after the designated time. “‘Bout time you three showed up!” 

“Cool it, Halstead, besides, shouldn’t you be spending your girlfriend?”

“Hailey is not my girlfriend!” 

“Y’know, it’s kinda funny, Stella didn’t even mention a Hailey...”

“Hey! I have more than enough people on my back about this, I don’t need a kid I haven’t met- oh waiiiiit, you’re Kidd and Severide’s foster right? Well, I’m Jay Halstead, Severide hasn't shut up about you, everyone’s really excited to meet you.”

“Including Hailey.” Jay froze for a second, before an exasperated expression took over his face, then he leaned his head back and groaned loudly before stomping away, leaving nothing but laughter in his wake.

“You know what Stella? I think Kylie should meet Hailey first.”

“Ooooh, yes.”

“Hailey! We have someone we want you to meet!”

They all ran across the field to her after hearing the panicked ‘NOooOOOooo’ from Jay Halstead. The confused blonde greeted them with a chuckle. “Hi, I’m Hailey Upton, you must be Kylie. It’s really great to meet you.”

“You too, I’ve heard a lot about how badass you are.”

“Oh, don’t listen to all that you hear-”

“Ig- *gasp* ignore her. She’s awesome.” A stressed-looking Jay sputtered out as he took his place beside Hailey. “Well,” Kylie slyley started, “I’m not sure that you’re unbiased, but I guess I’ll take your word for it.” Jay panicked, Hailey was confused, Stella and Sylvie were doing everything in their power not to laugh.

“Wha-”

“Maybe she should meet Casey next, hmmm?” He gave a well-placed look to Sylvie and she started to pout.”

“That was cold.”

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It had been a long day, filled with grilled food, cake games, and new family members. Kylie was happy though. It had been a lot, but she felt like she connected with and could count on everyone there. She was full of food and happiness. “That was really fun. It was great to meet everyone.”

“Really you didn’t feel like it was too much?”

“We were worried that we’d overwhelm you.”

“No, I think it was good to do it this way, like ripping off a bandaid.”

“Good. Well we have shift tomorrow, starting at six in the morning. So we should probably head to bed.”

“I’m gonna do the same, I am beat the Hermann Horde really knows how to wear it out of you.”

“The Hermann Horde, oh my god... That describes them perfectly.”

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Shift had gone rather smoothly so far, a couple fire drills at local schools, a few fall-down and PD calls for ambo 61, and a smoke-detector check in an apartment building. All was well and good until around two o’clock when Stella got a horrifying phone call from Kylie.

“Stella?”

“Kylie? What’s wrong your voice sounds really shaky.” Kelly’s head snapped up at her words and she gestured for him to come over, he’d arrived and Stella turned the phone so they could both hear and talk just as they heard screams. “Kylie? Kylie!”

“There’s a fire, it’s getting big and we’re trapped and I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, where is the fire? What lit it? Has anyone called 911 yet?” Kelly prattled off doing his best to be helpful instead of curling into a ball and crying. “Chem room, sulfuric acid and a chlorate, and everyone else is calling 911.”

“Okay, are you near a carbon dioxide extinguisher?”

“Uh, cupboard next to me... Yeah!”

“Pull out the pin, lift the nossel and aim at the BASE of the fire by squeezing the levers together.”

They didn’t get a response but could hear what was happening, it took a few minutes before Kylie picked up the phone again, “it’s ou-t but smoldering or- smoking a bit? What-ever, it was down enough for all of us to- get out, so- we’re running.”

“Oh thank god. We’ll  come right away- or do you want us to meet you at the hospital? You need to get medical attention if you were near ractive sulfuric acid.”

“Uh, how about I just keep you on the phone as I get checked out, we can figure it out from there?” 

“Okay, we- we’ll wait.” Stella and Kelly just about collapsed in relief, all the members of 51 who had gathered around them smiled and offered them as much comfort as possible. “Hey, um- my foster parents? They’re on the line, they’re firefighters, uh, just want to know what hospital we’re going to, if I’m okay.”

“Well, tell...”

“Stella Kidd and Lieutenant Kelly Severide.”

“Kidd and Lieutenant Severide to meet us at Chicago MED.”

“We’re leaving now.” They both froze and stared at Boden like deers in headlights. “Alright,” in Boden’s usual gruff voice, “mount up everybody. We’re going to MED. We’ll keep our radios on and leave from there if necessary. Kidd, Severide, I’ll need to call in a floater to cover one of you for the rest of shift. It’ll be easier if it’s Kidd, cause at least one of you has to stay with Kylie. I’ll see what I can do about a floater for you though, Severide.”

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Amelia met them at the hospital, there were some incident forms, but because Kylie called them for help and saved herself and her classmates because of it, Amelia just gave them a smile and told them they were doing great. Kylie needed to stay at MED for a couple days because of the smoke she inhaled, but so did her classmates and they kept each other entertained. Then OFI showed up. Seager was quite obviously still carrying a torch for Kelly, but was still very polite to Stella and Kylie. “Well, your story matches up with the evidence we have and the statements collected from your teacher and 29 classmates.”

“Wait, she has 30 classmates, there’s 31 kids in her class.”

“Yes, well, Chad is the only one who’s story is off, but that’s because all the evidence points to him messing around and starting the fire. None of you can say anything to any of the other victims and their families.”

“Got it.”

Seager left with a longing look directed at Kelly, but no one was looking at her. Kylie had started to tear up, the reality that she could have died finally hitting her at full force, and both her parents (what she’d started calling Stella and Kelly in her head) immediately tended to her. Hugging her, letting her know they were there, and that it was okay to cry. So Kylie lay there, shaking and sobbing, as the two people who loved her just as much as her grandmother had, did everything they could to let her know they loved her, and that they had been scared too. That they would be sad if she had died. At some point the tears stopped being about fear and started being about love.

This was the scene that Casey walked in on, he quietly stepped away, knowing just how intimate this moment was supposed to be. He walked back to the waiting room. “Not yet guys, they need some time to themselves. I think it might be better if we came back later with some food or something.” A call came over their walkies before anyone got a chance to agree with their captain.

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Kylie had transferred schools after the fire, the smoke from the chemical reaction that started the fire had gotten into a vent and messed up the entire air con system, meaning the school had to be shut down for the rest of the year while it was replaced. The air quality was deemed too dangerous for students and staff to even retrieve their stuff from the school. So Kylie had been transferred to the same high school as Lee Henry Hermann. He’d shown her around the school and introduced her to his friends. Things had been going really well until 51 got a call to a mattress factory fire. Kylie hadn’t been around when Otis died, but she could still see how everyone was affected by his death. The fire was so bad that the news had been reporting on it since before school even started and new, terrifying developments were still coming. Kylie was scared, her stomach was so twisted she felt what she could only describe as extreme nausea, she couldn’t focus, and she was practically jumping out of her skin everytime she got a notification on her phone. She couldn’t find Lee anywhere either, she had no way of knowing how he’d be handling it. While he was around to know Otis, his dad had been a firefighter longer than he’d been alive. Maybe he had coping methods.

After another panic grab for her phone Kylie was excused from class with a sympathetic glance from her teacher. She wandered the halls for a few minutes, doing everything not to cry, not to feel hopeless, when one of Lee's friends spotted her. “Henry heads to the greenhouse on bad days.” Was all Donovan said before walking away. Kylie took a breath, hiked her bag higher onto her shoulder, and headed to the greenhouse. What more did she have to fear?

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The door was unlocked, so she walked in and... Immediately took off her cardigan. “Lee?”

“Kylie...” His voice wasn’t confident like it usually was, it was hoarse and weak. She maneuvered her way around all the planter boxes before finding Lee sitting on a small, poorly made if she was being honest, wooden bench that was surrounded by peonies of varying colours. It was strange seeing Lee the way he was. Sickly pale, eyes red, exhausted lax muscles. “You’re scared too.”

“Terrified... I don’t know how you’ve dealt with this your whole life...” Kylie couldn’t control her emotions anymore. Lee tugged her by the wrist to sit beside him and wrapped her in his arms. “I don’t know how I’ve dealt with it either. I don’t think I do, really.”

“Does chocolate help? Cause I’ve got some in my bag...”

“Oh, yes. Chocolate helps.” The rest of their last two periods were spent crying, hugging, and eating chocolate in the greenhouse. They didn’t find out until they were leaving that the last of the fire had been put out, and that no first responders had died, and while three had been injured none of them were from firehouse 51.

“This may seem childish, and I know you don’t do this, but I think I’m gonna head to 51... I need to see that they’re okay for myself...”

“The only reason my siblings and I don’t do that is because our mom manages to keep them in the dark still. She used the child safety functions to keep the news from giving us alerts, she only tells us something happened after the ash has settled, or she just tells us that dad had a bad shift a half hour before he gets home. She runs so much interference, but, I... I disabled the child safety stuff when I was twelve, so that I could watch some PG-14 movies, I didn’t find out about the news notifications until a month later. I mean, I saw that news apps were specifically selected when I disabled the setting, but I didn’t think anything of it until they got a call to a train wreck. I had never been more afraid for my dad in my life. I hadn’t fully comprehended just how dangerous my dad’s job was until that day. Every five minutes there was a... higher body count, reports of trouble at the scene, a video of a gas explosion that 51 was barely able to control... I strongly believe that it was the worst day of my life. I wanted to go to the firehouse, I told my mom that I found out from friends, I didn’t want her to turn the news off again... But she told me I couldn’t go see him. I had to wait. It was a long four hour hours. So, I get it. If you want, there’s some time before I have to pick up my brothers and sister. How about we go pick up some doughnuts, then my siblings, and then make a visit to 51.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this for me.”

“Yeah, this way I get to see my dad after fearing for his life all day and I can use you being worried as an excuse when my mom asks.” Kylie laughed as Lee smirked, proud of his plan.

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“Hey Brett.”

“Hey, I brought you doughnuts, courtesy of the Hermann Horde and Kylie.”

“How annoyed is Hermann that the nickname caught on?”

“Very.”

“So, how do the kids look? I imagine at least Lee Henry and Kylie saw the news today.”

“Kylie looked like she was going to burst into tears when she saw Stella and Severide. Lee looked like a weight came off his shoulders when he saw Hermann. But then, he uh...”

“Hm?”

“Lee Henry looked at Kylie and smiled, really softly, and he got this puppy dog look in his eyes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I know what I saw.”

“You think there’s something going on?”

“Not yet... But I’m keeping my eye out.”

[scaredofthebasement-blog]

When Love Walks In - Chpt 18

Chpt 18 - Auston Negotiates with Dr Quinn & Dr Quinn Reveals ‘So Much’

2281 Words

Dr Quinn reads Auston’s apology and feels the need to explain herself, “No Auston, I am the only one who owes an apology.  I am so sorry that I did not come to see you last week.  There are no excuses really which is why I didn’t give any.  But if you would like to know part of the reason I didn’t come by I can tell you.”

“Yes, please.”  Auston writes.

“Okay, as well as the off-site medical conference, I had meetings for a new education project I’m heading up with a couple of Universities and you know I recently got a life and went on a couple of dates.  But, I assure you that I was checking on you, through Dr Wright.  Unfortunately, Dr Wright neglected to mention that you were struggling emotionally.  Auston, I would have made it a priority to come see you if I knew you were having a tough time.”

“Thank you”,  He writes.

“I never want to let a patient down.  I am so, so sorry.”  She adds.

Let a patient down?  Is that all I am to you?  He mopes.

“I get it.”  He writes, keeping his disappointment to himself.

“You said part of your reasons for not coming, but what are the other reasons?” He dares to ask.

“Oh Auston, …um…Auston I’d prefer not to get into that if you don’t mind”,  She tells him.

What the hell is she referring to?  I need to know!  Is she conflicted?  Does she have feelings for me?  Did she figure out I have feelings for her?  Fuck!  Whoa!  Be patient Man!  It’s okay. You’re playing the long game.  If she is conflicted, has feelings or has issues with us, then it’s best that they are not acknowledged right now when there is still more work to be done to heal me.  I better not open that can of worms. He advises himself.

“No problem”, he writes.

Thrilled to be able to change the subject Dr Quinn asks, “So, Auston, did you have a chance to get that assignment done that I gave you?”

“Yes.  I asked Alex to look after my social media.  She’s working on it.”

“Great!  Did you pick someone you’d be willing to talk with?” Dr Quinn asks.

“Yes.”

“Ha, Auston!  You’re as evasive as I am.  Can I ask who?”

“Ha!  Yeah, I’m trying to be as mysterious as my doctor.”  He looks up and winks at her joking.

“He’s a man I consider to be a second father to me.  His name is Patty Marleau. He’s a retired Hall of Fame hockey player.  We played together during some of my earliest years in the NHL and he’s been a mentor to me. He lives in California now”, He writes.

“Oh, great Auston! Have you reached out to him yet?”

“No.  I want to wait till I can talk”,  Auston writes.

“Oh, okay.  I see.  I understand.  I can see how that would be ideal.”  Dr Quinn realizes.

She looks at Auston, and he laughs at her.  He gives her a smart ass look like ‘ya think?’

She laughs at herself. “Sometimes I forget that you can’t talk so you’ll have to forgive me.  I was telling Dr Wright earlier that I am amazed at how well I’ve got to know you without you ever having said a word.”

“Are you surprised by that, Doctor?  What about babies and dogs and other pets?  You can get to know them without them speaking a word.”  Auston writes, calling her out with his reasoning.

Dr Quinn takes the opportunity to tease Auston.  “Are you comparing yourself to a dog or a baby, Auston?  Is that what you’re actually comparing yourself to? Wow, Auston!  Okay then, Auston, you’re like a puppy to me.  I guess that’s it! That’s why I like you so much!”  

As the words come out, she immediately realizes she slipped up.  Oh, wha the Fuck did I just say?  Whaaaaaa….The….Hellllllll?  Quinnnnnnnn! Recover! Abort!  She screams in her head.

Auston: Wow!  Oh myyyyyyyyy Goooooooooooooddddddd!!!!  Did I just hear her correctly?  Oh myyyyyyyyyy Gooooooooodddddd!  She likes me! ‘So much’!

“What did you just say?” Auston writes, clearly about to bubble over.  He can hardly remember to breathe.

“Huh?”  Dr Quinn is in a hot daze.

“The last thing.  What was that you said?”  He knows she won’t repeat it.  He knows it was a slip-up.

“I don’t know; ‘you’re like a puppy to me’?”  She plays dumb.

Wanting to push the issue but at the same time afraid of where it may lead at this point in their relationship as doctor and patient, he only gently teases, “No not that.  The very last thing.”  He can’t help his smirk.

She mumbles, “what do you athletes call it when you tease each other?”

“Sorry, what?”  He writes confused.

“What’s the term for when athletes tease each other.”  She asks again, only louder.

“Chirp?”  He guesses.

He’s got her so rattled. She rambles.  “I don’t know, but whatever the term is, I think it’s pretty obvious I’m not an athlete by my bad attempt at chirping.  Can we just change the subject, please?  There’s nothing good that can come from exploring that tidbit of information I just offered up on a plate, so let’s move on shall we?  And yes, for the record, I think you’re a wonderful person, and anyone would agree so don’t tease me about it, Auston.  Okay?  It’s my observation.  Let’s move on.  Thank you very much.”

“OK”, he writes, clearly enjoying her revelation and the way it has made her so flustered and cute. He quickly adds drawings of four emoji happy faces, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil and a Winky Face and turns them to face her.

“Auston!  Enough!  And where’s your sister anyways?  She said she’d be back in an hour or an hour and a half at the latest.”  She scolds him as she laughs at the mess she created for herself.

“It’s only been an hour Doctor Q.”  Auston writes with a smile he can’t erase.  He wipes his board dramatically and adds with a huge flourish of his marker, “So much!”

“Oh my goodness, Auston. You’re going to drive me to drink.” She jokes.

Auston bargains, daring to ask again, “In the meantime though, I know you said I could call you if I needed to talk or was feeling down.  Does that mean you’ll be my Friend/Therapist?”  He writes.

“I’m glad you brought that up, Auston.  I was late for your procedure today because I was securing the very best therapist I know, Dr Moran.  He is very busy but as a favour to me he is willing to come and see you when you are ready. He is really good, Auston!  The best there is, in these parts anyway.  I highly recommend him.”

“No.  Thanks anyway.  Not ready for that yet.”  He writes to the point.

He continues to plot in his mind.  You and I need to get to know each other better so a big ‘nope’ to that.

“Really Auston?  He would be so much better than talking to a friend.  He has a great reputation for helping people deal with life-changing accidents. As your doctor, I encourage you to use him as your Therapist.

Auston believes her.  Sure this Dr Moran would be very helpful but I’m not giving up quality time with her by going to him.  Maybe later.

“But right now, I really need someone, like a friend, to bounce things off of, and since we already know how to communicate and I trust and respect you, I was hoping it could be you? Plus you like me ‘so much’ right?” He writes teasing.

“Oh my gosh Auston!  I’m never gonna hear the end of this am I?”

“Which?  Me asking you to be my Friend/Therapist or me reminding you that you like me ‘so much’?  Cause you’re right on both fronts.  Never. Gonna.  Hear. The.  End.  Of.  Either.  If you say no to Friend/Therapy, that is.  But if you say yes, I’ll drop both.  Pinky swear.” He writes and adds a winking emoji with its pinky up.

Dr Quinn can’t even laugh. She’s so lost in thought.  She’s conflicted. 

This is so not a normal request. What’s with this guy?  Spoiled much?  She thinks to herself.

When she doesn’t respond right away, he panics and writes,  “Please don’t say no to Friend/Therapy!  You promised you’d be there for me.  Oh yes, I did just do that!  I played the guilt card!”, he writes and adds a shocked emoji face.

“Friend-Therapy.  That’s not even a thing!  Eff!”  She mumbles but can’t help but laugh at him.  “You little Shi.!”  She scolds him.  “I hope you use this kind of stubbornness in your voice therapy, re-training and hockey games.   Seriously, Auston.  Wow!”

“Whaaaaa?   What did my esteemed doctor almost say?  I’ve got half a mind to report you to the Doctor Gods for almost swearing Dr Q.”  He writes teasing, thoroughly pleased with the results of his creativity and sticktoitiveness.

Auston thinks: she’s so fun to tease!  

He knows he’s putting both himself and her in a very awkward position.  But he just can’t stop himself.  It would mean everything to him if he could talk with her every day for long periods of time.

“Auston, I actually went out of my way to get you a top-notch Therapist and he will see you immediately despite a waitlist a mile long, but you want something you’re calling, ‘Friend Therapy’?  With me? An unqualified Therapist.  You’re kidding me?  Right?

NO!  Not kidding! I only want you!  Why can’t you figure that out without me telling you that I’m crazy about you?  Please, just go along with what I’m asking. He screams to himself in frustration.

Sensing he might not have her locked up, Auston now plays his last cards available,  “No, I’m not kidding.  I know what I need right now and it’s a friend to talk to that knows my situation, someone with whom I can communicate and someone that I trust. Those things are all you, Doctor Quinn. Like I said before, I don’t trust anyone knowing my shit.  I have an image to protect, and if my insecurities or deficiencies become known to the public, it would be devastating. Do you understand?”

“Yes Auston, but this is a doctor who has taken an Oath to protect any information you give him.”

“I can’t risk it, Dr Q. I’m sorry.  I appreciate you trying to help me by reaching out to him, but right now it’s you or nobody.”  Auston writes appearing emotional.

She looks at him to see if he is serious or just bluffing.   She shakes her head as if to say ‘well played my friend’.  

“Okay, Auston, I will be happy to be an ear for you till you can speak with your friend, Patty or you are ready to see Dr Moran, whichever comes first.  I will have to look at my schedule and try to come up with a time each day this week that I can come by and chat.  I’ll have to get back to you on that.  Okay?”

Auston is ecstatic.  He maintains his cool though.  “Thank you for considering it. I know how important your time is and wouldn’t ask without it being important.” He tells her hoping she’s not upset with him for pushing and appearing to be a bit of a spoiled brat.

“It is my pleasure, Auston. I know what you’re going through is very important.  I trust that you know yourself very well and know what you need. I am sorry for giving you a hard time. I just want what is best for you.  I’m not even qualified to be a Therapist, so just know that all you’ll be getting from me is the ‘Friend’ part.”

“You’re right, Doctor Quinn. I do know what is best for me. Thank you.”  Auston writes.  

And I’ll take the ‘Friend’ part of you, all day and every day till I leave this place, thank you very much!  He cheers to himself.

“Well, I should be going now but will come by sometime tomorrow and give you a schedule so we can start chatting.  Does that sound okay?”

“Yes.  Thanks again.  You made me feel better.  I’ve been having a tough go recently.”  He writes.  After Dr Quinn has read it he wipes the board, writes something else and turns it upside down so she can’t see it.

“I’m sure, Auston.  It kills me to see you hurting.  I will do everything I can to help you.  I’m so glad you’ve had this procedure now, and things are moving along. It’s getting exciting.  We’ve almost got your breathing in order.  Your voice is next.  Then you're on your way.  Very exciting!”

What’s ‘very exciting’ is I get to see you every day!  Auston thinks to himself as he leans back to rest, very pleased with himself but exhausted.

“I’ll be sending a Nurse in to attend to you shortly.  Please tell Alex I’m sorry I missed her return, but I will call her tonight.”

Auston smiles and lifts his hand to wave goodbye.  Then he holds up his board for Dr Quinn to see what he wrote earlier.

“So much!” Is all it reads.

He smirks as she rolls her eyes, laughs and leaves the room.

“You’re a goofball, Bam Bam! Such a weirdo!”  She calls out to him without turning around.

Auston:  Yes!  She likes me ‘so much’!