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chaoticcultist · 2 years

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MLB Luca AU Chapter 1

Context: This takes place in Genova, Alberto and Luca are human, and Alberto, Luca and Giulia's ages are 17, 16 and 15.

It had started off a normal Saturday in the Marcovaldo household. Alberto woke up early from habit, around 7am, and made his way downstairs after brushing his teeth. Giulia was here this morning. She must have come over from her mom’s place earlier. It was just down the street from Massimo’s house, so she was able to come over pretty much any time she wanted.

“Hey, Giulia.” Alberto waved to her as he made his way to the table. Breakfast was already set out and it smelled delicious.

“Bongiorno, fratello.” his sister tried to say around her mouthful of bread.

Alberto sat down in the seat next to her and started loading his own plate. Massimo wasn’t in the dining room/kitchen area, which was odd. Their papa always ate with them, or at least he always ate with Alberto, since he was the kid that only lived with him instead of splitting time between two households.

Alberto looked around the room, checking to make sure he didn’t somehow miss the mountain of a man, before turning to face Giulia. “Where’s papa? Did he go to work without waking me?”

Giulia swallowed her bit-too-large mouthful of pastry, coughing into her fist before speaking. “Nah, he left 10 minutes ago to go get my mama for breakfast.”

Giulia’s mama, Signora Ricci, did not double as Alberto’s mother. Alberto was Massimo’s kid and Massimo’s kid only. That wasn’t to say that they didn’t have a good relationship. She and Massimo had been best friends as kids, and were basically forced by societal norms to get married. They had Giulia and soon divorced after Signora Ricci, or Emilia as she told Alberto to call her, wanted to pursue other relationships. They were still best friends and the woman acted as a sort of aunt for Massimo’s adopted son. She often came over for meals, but not on Saturday. That was a Tuesday and Thursday thing, the only exception being holidays and when someone needed to have a talk.

Alberto’s nerves buzzed from what the break in norm implied. “Is something going on?” he asked, tapping his nails against his mug yet to be filled with coffee. He only received a shug in response before Giulia was focused on her plate again.

Alberto decided to follow her lead, chewing at his breakfast pastry as he tried to think of anything he may have done wrong recently. It couldn’t be the ‘that was stupid’ talk about playing with Massimo’s harpoon, that had happened last week almost immediately after Alberto had sliced open his foot. Both adults were well aware of Alberto’s crush on his best friend and next-door neighbor, Luca Paguro, so it couldn’t be the ‘it’s okay to be gay’ talk. He had gotten that out of the way three years ago.

Alberto’s train of thought snagged on the thought of the shorter boy. He had known Luca longer than he’d even been a Marcovaldo, having slept in his room in secret for a week before being introduced to Massimo and Giulia. Signora Paguro didn’t like Alberto much then or now, but even three years ago, no one could deny that Luca meant everything to the young orphan, and Alberto would have and still would do anything for him.

Alberto wondered what he was doing now. He would see him later today, but-

“Bongiorno, ragazzi!” Massimo’s voice boomed throughout the room as he entered with Signora Ricci a few steps behind him.

“Bongiorno, papa.” Alberto and Giulia replied in unison.

As Massimo dropped into his seat, making the table shake lightly, Signora Ricci placed a quick kiss on Giulia’s red curls and gave Alberto a smile before taking a seat. “Good morning, Alberto.”

“Good morning, Signora.” Yep, Alberto definitely did something wrong.

“Do you two have any plans for today?” Emilia asked. Giulia shook her head no.

“Luca’s coming over in a little while to work on our Vespa.” Alberto informed her. He would have been more concerned with messing up her plans if he wasn’t looking forward to the visit so much.

Instead of looking disappointed in any way, her smile only grew. “Oh, perfect. That will work out well then.”

Instead of starting coffee or grabbing pastries to put on his own plate, Massimo placed an oddly ornate wooden box on the table and waited for everyone’s attention to focus on him. Giulia and Alberto would recognize his Miracle Box anywhere. They went silent in anticipation of whatever explanation must be coming.

Massimo smiled down to his two children as they looked at him in confusion. “It’s a big day, you know. Emilia and I have waited three years to give these to you.”

Massimo then reached into the box, took out two pieces of unassuming jewelry, and placed one in front of both siblings. Before Giulia was a belt-buckle that resembled the head of a lion, and before Alberto was a necklace with two chains and a pendant of two fish swimming around each other.

The siblings’ eyes widened in shock as they looked at each other in disbelief. No way! They were getting their own Miraculous’?

Massimo and Emilia had revealed the Miraculous’ to them a few months after Alberto had been adopted, telling the children tales of the battles they had fought and what powers the kwamis attached to the magical jewelry could grant. 1968 had been an intense year for Alberto. It had been the ultimate show of trust then, that Alberto and Giulia could keep their parents’ secret while they intermittently trained to one day wield one of the mystic items. They never would have guessed that day was today, on a lazy Saturday over expertly baked breakfast pastries.

Emilia piped up. “You’re old enough to start training with the real deal now. We trust you to be careful with your identities and the powers granted to you. If an unnatural threat comes to Genova, you two will be our defense.” She placed a proud hand over Giulia’s.

The two teens looked at their parents with wide eyes full of amazement. “You really think we’re ready?” Alberto asked, grinning up at his father.

“As ready as you’ll ever be, Beto.” Massimo reached over to ruffle Alberto’s tight curls. He moved his hand to caress his daughter’s cheek before he continued. “Go ahead and put them on. It’s about time you met your kwamis.”

Giulia didn’t have to be told twice. She undid the belt holding her high-waisted jeans in place, snatched the buckle off the table, and strung it on in an excited haste. From the polished bronze, an orange fairy light manifested itself, flying wildly up her torso and around her head before stopping in front of her face. The glowing orb faded into a small critter with large eyes and features resembling those of a male lion.

“Greetings, master!” the creature exclaimed in a high and slightly raspy voice. “I am Leone, kwami of the Lion Miraculous.”

Giulia was practically bouncing in her seat. “Hello, Leone. Just call me Giulia.” She raised her hands so Leone could rest on her palms instead of floating. “I can’t wait to start working with you!” she said with a barely contained giggle.

Then everyone’s eyes were on Alberto. He swallowed deeply and slipped the duel chain of the necklace over his head. Unlike Giulia’s Miraculous, it was two fairy lights, one purple and one turquoise, that flew out of the pendant and zipped around in an erratic dance. When they came to rest a foot above Alberto’s breakfast plate and their glow dimmed, before him floated two nearly identical kwamis that had some features that suggested fish. They only differed in appearance through their coloring and the shape of the fins coming off their tiny bodies. The purple one had spiky dark purple fins and light yellow slit eyes while the green and blue one had smooth navy fins and dark yellow slit eyes.

“Dearest wielders!” the purple one started grandly. The turquoise one was looking around distractedly. “We are Pesci, the kwamis of the fish Mira-”

“P-Pesci. Pesci!” The other interrupted, grabbing the purple by the arm. “There’s only one wielder.”

The purple one finally looked closely at Alberto. He had to admit, he hadn’t thought the first thing his kwami would do upon being given a Miraculous was judge him. “Why do you have both halves?” The purple kwami asked as if accusing him.

“Halves?” Alberto looked down at his necklace. Running his hands along the chains, he found that the two fish that made up the pendant weren’t actually connected, just perfectly fit together. Each was attached to their own chain.

Massimo interrupted the confusion, apparently knowing better what was disturbing the two miniature gods. “This is my son, Pesci. I was hoping one of you could claim him now, and the other could claim his partner later.”

“Massimo!” The purple kwami greeted with an enthusiastic grin, floating over to Massimo’s side. “It’s been so long since you wore me! You’ve gotten wider.”

The turquoise one floated quietly over to Signora Ricci and rested in her bright red curls. “Hello, little mistress. You’re not little anymore.”

Alberto shook his head as if that would clear the confusion in his head. “Okay, what’s going on? Why are there two kwamis? What partner? And I thought your Miraculous was the bull.” he questioned, holding both now separated pendants in a tight grip.

Massimo took Alberto’s hand to rest in his much bigger palm, willing the boy to relax. “The bull is the Miraculous I used the most, but when Emilia and I were first starting out, we were the two users of the fish Miraculous.”

Signora reached over and patted Alberto’s shoulder, giving him a smile in confirmation. “The fish Miraculous is special. It needs two people to use the two halves of it, and it is only together that the two wielders can be a powerful force.” she told him with her classic, smooth voice.

“That’s why we chose this one for you,” Massimo continued. Alberto only raised an eyebrow. “The users of this Miraculous need to have a very strong bond. A bond you already share with someone.”

Alberto’s pretty sure Massimo tried to wink at him from under his bushy eyebrows. Strong bond? Other than Giulia, the only person he was close to was…

“Wait, Luca?!” How could his perfect role model of a father come up with such a bad idea? Alberto stood from his seat and was looking down at Massimo like he had gone mad. “I can’t give a Miraculous to Luca!”

“Why not?” Massimo asked, genuinely confused. “Whenever you two work together, you make an amazing team, and I know you would do anything to support each other and keep each other safe. That’s exactly what the fish Miraculous needs to function properly.” Massimo tried to rub soothing circles in the back of Alberto’s hand with his thumb, but the boy just jerked his hand back.

“That’s just it. I would do anything to keep Luca safe because I love him. Why on earth would I put him in the crosshairs of the supernatural monsters we’ll have to fight?” Alberto continued to say at a raised decibel.

Giulia rolled her eyes. Her dear brother was always so dramatic. “Oh please, Luca can totally kick ass when he thinks you’re in danger. Remember that time with Ercole on the bike-”

Alberto whipped around to face his sister, genuine stress making his eyes more severe. “Tackling someone off a bike is not the same as fighting a half-ton goblin intent on destroying Genova.” He stated firmly. “He hasn’t gotten the kind of training we have, he doesn’t even know what a Miraculous is! If Luca got hurt because I thought it’d be fun to play superhero with him, I’d never forgive myself.”

Everyone at the table was quiet. Massimo looked disappointed, not at Alberto, but at the situation they found themselves in. Alberto took a deep breath and started to remove the necklaces.

“No, Alberto, stop.” Massimo said firmly, putting up his hand as further signal. “The fish Miraculous is yours regardless. Just choose which one to keep and train with that for now. We’ll figure out the partner problem some other time.”

As the large man said this, both the fish kwamis flew back to be in front of Alberto. “Alright, just to make this easy,” the turquoise one started. The purple one continued. “Trident or sand dollar?”

Alberto only looked at the two creatures blankly. The turquoise one gave a deep sigh. “Do you want to use a spear that can direct water or a shield that can produce water?”

Alberto couldn’t really picture a shield that made water in his head, much less see how it would be useful in combat. He did know what a trident was, however, and if he could spear oversized fish with a harpoon, he could fight bad guys with a giant fork. “The trident, I guess.” he said.

The turquoise kwami’s head fell in disappointment, and the purple one quickly pulled them into a hug. “He’ll get a partner soon, I promise.” they said comfortingly. The purple kwami then flew in close to Alberto and lifted one of the pendants off from around his neck. The crestfallen miniature god was sucked back into the piece of jewelry, and the pendant changed from plain silver to the hues of green and blue the Kwami inside possessed. The pendant Alberto still wore remained silver.

“Only give my other half to someone you would trust with your life.” The purple fish kwami told Alberto firmly. Even with their high-pitched voice, it was clear they were deadly serious. Alberto nodded in response. Pesci then handed him the unactivated Miraculous, and Alberto tucked it securely away in his left shorts pocket.

Giulia had been feeding bits of her breakfast to Leone as everything was happening, and now she had a very full lion kwami taking a nap on her shoulder. She gave Alberto a bemused look. “You trust Luca with your life.” she pointed out.

Alberto crossed his arms. “I know I do, but I don’t trust myself with his.” he countered. This wasn’t about how much Alberto believed in Luca. Luca could say he wanted to walk on Mars and Alberto would have full faith he would find a way to. No, Alberto just wasn’t sure he could protect the boy he loved should something truly dangerous come around. Unless there was a 100% chance Luca would come out of the battle unscathed, Alberto couldn’t risk it.

The sentiment hardly seemed in line with how reckless Alberto and Luca were when they first met, but the change had been for good reason. During one of their ridiculous makeshift Vespa test runs, the year Luca was 14 and Alberto was 15, Luca had broken his arm. Alberto had learned then and there that his best friend being hurt was the worst thing he could experience. From how Signora Paguro reacted, Alberto honestly thought he’d never see Luca again. Daniela would have liked that, too, but the boys still lived next door to each other and Luca had just snuck over until his mom gave up on enforcement.

After that incident, Alberto had been a lot more careful with his closest friend. Giving him a Miraculous for fighting bad guys was not careful.

Giulia knew where Alberto was coming from, but she also knew Luca too well to think he wouldn’t charge right into a monster attack to save her idiot brother, magical superpowers be damned.

One way or another, Luca was probably getting that second fish Miraculous.

Massimo broke the odd tension caused by his childrens’ inner dwellings by going into a long explanation of their individual powers and what phrases needed to be used to activate them.

Giulia had just tried out her transformation phrase, “Leone, lets roar.” and was admiring her costume when there was a knock at the door. Pesci dashed into one of Alberto’s pockets, Massimo closed the Miracle Box and reactivated the lock, and instead of de-transforming, Giulia dove under the table. Alberto rolled his eyes at his sister’s antics as he got up to answer the door. He knew exactly who it was, and the necklace in Alberto’s pocket seemed heavy.

“Hi, Luca.” Alberto said, a wide grin firmly in place.

Luca pulled the boy into a tight hug. “Hi, Alberto.” he responded happily. He must have seen Signora Ricci in the dining room over Alberto’s shoulder, because he followed with, “How was your morning?”

Alberto held Luca tightly in his arms as he answered. “Good. It was fine.” he spoke a little too fast.

Luca stayed quiet as he turned his head and buried his nose in Alberto’s neck. “Okay. You can tell me if something’s bothering you, though.”

Alberto finally released Luca enough that they could face each other. “Nah, everything’s great. Let’s work on our Vespa.” he smiled at the shorter boy. “Old man Gallo from the mechanic’s shop just gave me this box of old spare parts we can sift through. What do you think?”

Luca had had the beginnings of a concerned frown, but it melted away as he smiled and took Alberto’s hand to be pulled through the house to the garage. “Sounds good. Maybe we’ll find that joint piece we’ve been missing.”

Giulia just watched the two boys from under the table. Yeah, she’d give it a month at most before Luca and Alberto have matching fish pendants.

#miraculous au #luberto #luca x alberto #luca #alberto #giulia #massimo #mlb #miraculous luberto au #luca miraculous au

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thatpaintedpony · 2 years

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So I haven't really kept Tumblr up to date with happenings recently because well, they've sucked. Sky and I were in hot preparation for the huge dressage festival we were going to, preparing our first freestyle test, ramping up our training at novice ..

And then last Thursday I was on my way to work and I slipped over in the frost and broke my hand. I went to the ER at our local hospital and waited there till lunchtime before being sent finally to the main hospital at Canberra where I waited the rest of the day till 5pm whereupon I was finally seen by a doctor who put on a cast and recommended I come back Monday for surgery to put pins into the fracture to stabilise it.

So I went home and scratched from the festival and tried to emotionally come to terms with not riding for 6 weeks because of some stupid frost and me not paying attention to what I was doing.

Monday I went back to Canberra hospital at 7am and sat in the waiting room, fasted of course, until 1pm when they said I wouldn't get into surgery today and to come back tomorrow.

Tuesday, back to the hospital at 7am, fasting (it's an hour's drive to and from Canberra for us too) and sat there till 3pm before being told I wouldn't get into surgery and to go home.

Wednesday, back again. 7am. Fasting. Third day. By 10:30am I was finally taken to the operating theatre. I was left on the gurney to wait for another half hour outside the theatre. The doctor finally arrived. Looked at my x-rays. Inspected my hand. Decided I didn't really need surgery after all. Sent me back. I was then shuffled around between five different departments over the next three hours before I got to the physio who made a splint, told me to keep my fingers moving and to come back for rehab in 6 weeks.

So. I've had a bit of a shit week.

Downsides are - no riding. Doing anything with the horses is pretty hard one handed and I don't want to risk damaging it further so going to be fairly careful there.

No festival. Fucking sucks ass.

My hand is broken and everything is difficult.

Spent 23 hours in hospital, starving, for no reason.

Upsides are - it's winter and the weather fucking sucks so riding would be pretty miserable anyway

Festival will be much less stressful because I won't have to manage a horse and competing, I can just go and watch and volunteer

The whole hospital debacle was free because we have public health care in Australia

I only have a small splint on my hand so I can still work and have a fair degree of autonomy.

Sky was pretty sore so now I have the opportunity to give her a break and let her relax again and bring her back into work with lots of trot poles and hill work to get her back stronger again before I start to ride again.

Anyway that's about it. It's cold and miserable and my hand is broken. 🤷

#horsblr #horses of tumblr #equestrians #equestrians of tumblr #dressage #my posts

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bugznews · 2 months

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Dear Journal, Saturday, March 9, 2024

I have been working so hard on this blog that I decided to give myself the morning off. Now since I feel like I am rested I can give you my readers tips on how to best spend a Saturday. Plus, my mom wasn't feeling well when she came home. I took care of her the best I could. For me the most important thing I do on a Saturday is stay in my pajamas as long as possible. Or at least in the most comfortable clothes that I have that are clean.

Sometimes I can be a little low on clothes because my laundry day is on Tuesday. This week I haven't had to go many places this week, so I had my basketball shorts and a shirt. If this weather keeps up, I will need to find my summer clothes. That just makes me want to jump up and down in a gleeful way.

Now back to today's topic. The most important thing I do on a Saturday (most of the time) is to be disconnected from the news. The only media that I pay attention to on Saturdays is podcasts, audiobooks, or music. Like right now while I am listening to, I've Got A Secret With Robin McGraw podcast. It is something that is positive. I find it restful to just sit here and listen to things like this.

For instance, last night I couldn't stay asleep no matter what I did. I went to my phone started up a podcast that my church does and hit play. Then I put my eye shades on. I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew it was 7am. But I did sleep good even though not all my sleeping problems went away. That is why I gave myself permission to take the morning off.

This podcast has helped so much in feeling rested. It can take me a little longer to feel rested. I might still take a nap later. If I ever get the cat box done. I am just waiting for my mom to wake up. But since she worked last night, I am doing other stuff.

Now you are probably asking how this ties in with mental health? I was diagnosed with bipolar in my teen years. Even before that happened though was from a very young age (like elementary school) that I would have such a hard time going to sleep. Well back when I was a kid bipolar was not talked about. No one even hinted that I had mental illness.

I will be honest I was always awkward. I still don't have a lot of friends to this day. Not by choice either. It is mainly because I can't read social cues as well as other people. This means that social interactions can be a little bit uncomfortable for both parties. Let me give you a example.

Say you ask me a question. It could be something as simple as how I am doing. It might take me a long time to answer you. I must really think about my answer. Then I blurt out the answer. Talk about awkward.

Plus, I tend to prefer my own company. I am not a social butterfly, but I will text a lot. I only have one person that calls me every day. That would be my best friend. We can't go to bed unless we say good night.

I do plan to add to this blog a new section. Called a podcast that will be on Spotify hopefully. I am going to take a class at a library on how to make one. I did not learn how to do this in journalism school. I can easily make a YouTube video. I will be the first to admit that I know nothing about making a podcast. The good part about this is it is something new to learn. A new challenge so to speak. I am so ready to take on this challenge. I will let you know when it is going to start. But I must get my ducks in a row. I need a little more equipment to take a class.

I am sad to report that I still haven't gotten my college degrees. The wait is just killing me. I want to have them in my hand. Then I will feel like a real writer. Even though I have started this blog. I had to do something with all the extra time on my hand.

Sorry I was helping my mom with a problem. Not that I mind at all. Now it is back to what we were talking about. Having too much time on my hands is never a good thing if I am being honest.

My cat is following my mom around the house. It makes me laugh every time this happens. It is so important to have something or someone to laugh at. Just don't be mean about it. No matter how funny it is.

Sorry once again I was talking to my mom. Sometimes I wear many hats all at once just like she does. I haven't even had lunch yet. Wow the day is just running away with me. Now my cat needed to be fed. I guess it is lunch time for everyone in my house.

I was enjoying my peace and quiet. Well, that has gone out the window. Once again it is not that I am not complaining. I love my family so much. They are there for me no matter what.

This is just a funny story to tell you. My cat decided at 7am that she was going to springboard off my head. Thank goodness my glasses weren't on at that moment. But I will admit that having a cat paw land in your eye is not always fun at 7am when you were trying to make it to at least 8am. I am glad that I got up with her because this big cat walked by our patio door and my cat tried to go through the door. Let me tell you it was funny but frightening.

So, if I could get around that tomorrow would be great. Just so you know that I will not be posting my blog on Sunday. I was raised that Sunday is always family day. I am giving myself a day to just rest. I want you not to worry I will be back on Monday. Deep breaths. Have an excellent Sunday. Danielle Jean Wynn

#mental health awareness

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frogsister87 · 1 year

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Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed?

Because we’re snap chatting

Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday?

Not called

Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend?

Yep

Who was the first person you talked to today?

Brandon

Will this week be a good one?

Hopefully

What was the last movie you watched and with who?

Emperors new groove with Courtney

Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy?

I received a $110 gift card, that was pretty cool

What are you wearing right now?

A sweatshirt and leggings

Do you want to see somebody right now?

YES

When’s the last time you cried?

Tuesday I think

Will you regret your next kiss?

It’s very possible lol

Are you a forgiving person?

I’d say so

Do you currently have feelings for anybody?

“Feelings” is a strong word

When was the last time you changed in front of someone?

I don’t know

Are you the youngest person living in your house?

I’m the only person living in my home

Have you ever liked someone older than you?

Yeah

Who did you last fall asleep with?

Uhhhh… Ryan or Illa

Would you hug the last person you hugged again?

Probably

Now your cell phone, what color is it?

Black

Who were you last in a car with?

Courtney and Nate

Who did you text most today?

Text would be my grandma. Most of my friends Snapchat over text

Do you have a reason to smile right now?

Sure

Did a boy or a girl text you last?

Girl

Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?

When was the last time something bothered you?

All the time

Would you rather love one person, or have many short relationships?

I don’t know

Would you prefer to date someone taller, shorter, or the same height as you:

Taller

Can you be your complete self around the person you like?

Like is a strong word

Are you wearing makeup?

Nope

What color was the last vehicle you were in?

White

Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind?

Yeah

When was the last time you got high?

Uhhh it was before Christmas I think

What’s a word that starts with the third letter of your first name?

Ice

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?

Yeah

Do you always answer your phone?

If I know it’s ringing yeah

Does anyone ever spell your name wrong?

Yep

Will you be up before 7AM tomorrow?

I hope not

In the past week have you cried?

Unfortunately

Do you get along with your parents?

Yes

What was the last thing you looked up on YouTube?

Masked singer video

Any upcoming vacations?

Well a four day weekend, woot woot

What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Hair usually

Do you have alcohol in your house?

Yeah

What’s the closest pink object to you?

Blanket

What makes you the happiest right now?

I don’t know

Are you mad at someone right now?

Yeah

Are you ticklish?

Kind of

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Not always

Would your life be the same without alcohol?

I rarely drink so I suppose so

Have you had “the best night of your life?

I hope not

What was the first thing you thought this morning?

Why do I still have a headache

What were you doing at 2AM last night?

Sleeping

The shirt you’re wearing, does anyone else have it?

I mean probably? No one I know tho

If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept?

Sure

Could you go a month without cursing?

Probably not

Ever been out of your state?

Yeah

Do you plan on getting drunk or high tonight?

I thought about it but decided to be responsible

Toilet papered someones house?

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?

Morning

Have you been to New York City?

Non

Can you go a day without laughing?

Yeah if nothing makes me laugh

Is there anybody you wish you would be spending time with right now?

Yeah

Are you tired?

Yeah

How many tattoos would you get?

There’s isn’t a limit

Do you get drunk every weekend?

Nope

Have you held hands with someone in the past 24 hours?

I don’t think so

Who was the last person you high fived?

I don’t know

How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

None

Do you know how to drive?

Uh yeah

Will next Friday be a good one?

No idea

Who was the last person to wink at you?

Probably spencer lol

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bike42 · 1 year

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Tuesday January 3, 2023

First full day of retreat started with “Noble Silence” until after breakfast (about 10am). I thought JT would have a hard time with it, but I think he did better than me.

I slept well once I got used to the sounds of the jungle mixed with rain, and awoke before my six am alarm to a diffused light coming into our room and much bird chatter. I dressed for yoga and went out to our 360 degree deck to check out the surrounds by daylight - words and photos can’t describe, so I will just enjoy these tranquil mornings with the sound of birds and the crashing of the distant sea - nothing else!

Our routine is this:

7am - meditation (20 minutes seated guided, 20 minutes walking, and 20 minutes silent seated).

8am - breakfast

9am - class time

11am - yoga

12:30p - lunch

2-5p - free time

5p - optional yoga session

6:30p - dinner

We spent class time today getting to know the 21 additional participants - only one repeat from last years group, but about 8 that came last year to the first session. Many were vulnerable in sharing why they’re here and what they want to get out of the week. Myself, I’m still working on that.

The food, all vegan and plant based, is fantastic and beautifully presented. I’m stuck by the efforts they’re taking to make it look like “real food” though. Have to ponder that a bit more. Yesterday I also had a “drink your greens” juice, a matche latte, and a virgin passion fruit mojito from the smoothie bar (we bought the week pass for unlimited access). I’ll not be losing weight on this trip!

During our free time, Jeff and I explored the amazing grounds - a challenging hike down to a waterfall where I couldn’t resist a swim, a stroll through their vegetable and herb garden, and we checked out the other lodging options (domes and bungalows). One of the things we discussed in class today was freeing ourselves from judgments and comparisons - I failed that today when I realized how lucky we are to have scored one of these Bali suites. If nothing else, being above the jungle and not in it helps with my freak out factor immensely!

Jeff had a 5pm massage and I went to the additional yoga session, before another great dinner and fun conversation with Gerry, Katherine and Jane (a couple and sister). Fabulous day. I’ll continue to post awesome photos, but most of my writing on this trip will be reflective in my yoga journal!

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styledeficit · 2 years

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10 October - 15 October weeknotes

Monday 10 October

Wake up with a splitting headache. And it’s raining. No walk.

At the end of the day, I smack my head into the open – yet slowly closing – boot of the car. It leaves a bump, a bruise and I finish the day as I started. With a headache.

Excellent work all round.

Tuesday 11 October

I’m probably not the only person standing in a field, responding to people about work via email, Slack and WhatsApp, but I am the only person in this field.

Two weeks ago, this was bare earth. On 30 September I wrote (and edited out) “In the newly ploughed fields you can see the seeds for next season sitting on the surface. I watch the birds eating them as fast as they find them. It’s a miracle anything grows.” And yet today the field is full of green shoots, each one resolutely casting its tiny shadow in the sun.

I avoid them by stepping gingerly into hoof prints on the bridleway, reply to yet another message, then decide I need to turn back.

Today I was at my desk in the dark, before I’d even seen the frost – the first one of the season, I think? When work was in a good spot I looked outside and thought I had just enough time for a walk before the second starting of the day. The moon was bright last night and a cloudless sky means the temperature dropped. It’s 7am and 4 degrees. It was 12 degrees at this time yesterday morning.

In truth, I came out looking for a colour, but I don’t see it till I’m almost home. You need a cold morning, grass full of frost, sun just touching the rooftops and strong shadows. It’s the colour in the shadow. A bright blue. The best.

10 minutes after I get home, I hear our deadline has changed. Still true then: you should never start work early.

Wednesday 12 October

The sky is a flat, solid pink. Reminds me of a weekend in Athens and the time the weather app said simply, ‘Dust’.

Thursday 13 October

Rainy morning. I walk to the postbox and meet a neighbour on the way back. She changed jobs a while ago and now she works from home all the time. “I haaaaaaate it”. She’s on the way back from the corner shop. Didn’t need to go, just made up a reason to get out of the house.

Our houses are the same. I ask which room she works in. She says “The cold one.” Me too.

Later: R becomes a Slack emoji dealer and I love it.

Friday 14 October

Drive home from Sussex. Watch glowing yellow rectangles flit past in the dark and wonder what it’s like to live in the houses behind them. Listen to Entroducing and feel a false, impending sense of doom.

We went to see Nathan Coley chat to James Lavelle at Charleston, where a piece of his work is on display. It was good. Nathan was forthright and interesting (and spoke the most). It’s a writing festival – he doesn’t write, actually. He finds the words and repurposes them.

When he was talking, he was talking about the physical pieces, but I wonder if there’s a whole other conversation to be had about the photographs. I ask him about it in the bar, but he says only that he has a photographer he works with. And he hates the newspaper photographers “they always take photos of the words in puddles”.

When I get home I look up the history of Charleston. It was the home of Vanessa Bell and Duncan Grant, of the Bloomsbury group. While Vanessa was in an open relationship with her husband, Clive Bell, she and Duncan had a child together, named Angelica. While Angelica was growing up she believed Clive Bell was her biological father. And Duncan took another lover called David Garnett. Later, Angelica married David Garnett, which means she married her father’s lover.

Saturday 15 October

There’s a lot of kisses that go on in the street WhatsApp. More than email, more than texts. Probably not enough to make the Bloomsbury group blush but still, more than necessary, and I don’t know why. Seems to be a WhatsApp thing in general. I suppose I always assume it’s an ongoing conversation. I guess others think each message is the start of something new, with a beginning, a middle and an end. And an end is sealed with a kiss. xxx

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writingkitten · 2 years

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Okay so just to vent:

1. Last Thursday morning, I went too fast around a corner and lost traction, scraping the back end of my car on the median of the interstate (entirely my fault, I take full responsibility)

2. Thursday night, got pulled over for passing in a “no passing” zone (again, entirely my fault, I take full responsibility) (luckily I did not get a ticket… because I was sobbing by the time the deputy got to my window)

3. Period! Which means a heavy, seven day flow that makes me anemic, plus cramps that are so bad I have a prescription for Tramadol for them (oh, but did I have any this week? No! Why? Because I couldn’t get in to see my doctor for a refill in time). Also: hormones. Which just amplified how shitty everything has been.

4. In too much pain to come in Monday, so I had to take a sick day (which, because of being on medical leave for my mental health, I’m already in the negative as far as hours I can use)

5. Tuesday: worked in the studio, left an hour early because I felt like shit

6. Wednesday: worked from home, had the whole laptop fiasco I ranted about earlier.

7. Worked from home again today (I produce the morning newscast, so I work from 11pm-7am), charger was not working (worked perfectly fine the night before), had to spend more money to buy a new one which STILL didn’t work, so I couldn’t work on the show

8. Came in to the studio two hours after my shift ended to have an engineer work on my laptop. No one was in the office yet, but I did find out that my laptop works from the dock at my desk. Good news, but means I can’t work from home anymore so it’s either go to work in horrible pain or take another sick which I literally can’t afford

9. Cherry on top: my boss — AFTER SEEING ME IN THE OFFICE THIS MORNING AND KNOWING THAT MY LAPTOP WORKS IF IM DOCKED AT MY DESK — wants me to come back to work while engineering is in (aka HOURS BEFORE MY SHIFT STARTS, IN THE MIDDLE OF MY NIGHT) so they can look at the laptop

#rant #tw periods #tw blood #tw menstruation #I’m already exhausted… so without my normal amount of sleep I’ll be fucked tonight #god I hate this job sometimes #and my body #I’m fat and ugly and hairy and I bleed like crazy and I hurt and I just hate myself

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definitelyseven · 4 years

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deal | one (m)

summary: when your step-mom unexpectedly offers you a deal you can’t resist, you decide to give her a taste of her own medicine by seducing her potential suitor, Im Jaebum.

You slowly opened your eyes adjusting to the light that was coming in from your apartment window. You groaned, burying your face in the pillow next to you when the violent knock on the door became louder.

It was 7am on a Saturday - you thought after a long week you’d finally be able to sleep in. You dragged your feet to the front door. Someone better be dying for them to wake you up this early. You swung the door open, annoyed.

“Oh god,” you groaned seeing the person in front of you. As if your morning couldn’t get any worse; the one person that you wouldn’t care if they died, appeared on your front door.

“Well good morning to you to, Y/N,” she said stepping past you and walking inside your apartment.

“Please come in,” you said sarcastically, shutting the door behind you.

“Goodness your apartment is small and filthy,” she commented while covering her nose.

“My apartment is perfectly fine. Thanks for asking,” you said walking towards your kitchen and pouring yourself a glass of water. “What do you want?”

“Y/N, I am your step-mother and you better respect me.”

You gave her a subtle smile and in slow motion you gave her the finger. She cleared her throat, ignoring your rude behavior.

“I’m here to offer you a proposition,” she sat down on a stool by your kitchen island. You carefully watched her, waiting for her to spit out whatever it is she was here for. “After your father died,”

“Don’t you dare talk about my father,” you warned. Your father died 3 years ago, leaving all his money to his young wife and daughter. There was no doubt that she was after his money all along - she was only 7 years older than you, 25 years younger than your father. Because you were underage at that time, she was put in charge of all your money. By the time you were able to claim your inheritance, all the money was spent. There was nothing left for you.

“Fine, I have potential suitor and I need your help to show him that I’m capable of being a good wife, a good mother.”

“No,” you rejected. There was no way in hell you would help her swindle another man - no way.

“20 million dollars,” she said.

“What?”

“20 million dollars - that’s what your father left you. If you help me, that’s how much you’ll get in return.”

“You said the money was all gone.”

“It is, but this potential suitor is richer than your father. $20 million is dropped changed to him,” she said with a big smile on her face as if it was the proudest thing she’s ever done.

“No way. I won’t help you swindle another man like you did with my father.”

“I loved your father.”

“You loved his money,” you spat, taking a step towards her.

“Think about it, but don’t think too long. He’ll complete his move into town in a couple of days,” she said leaving your apartment.

As much as you hated her, you needed the money. You were in debt - credit card bills, rent and worse; tuition. If this man was stupid enough to like her, maybe he deserved to be tricked - just like your father did. Besides, what more can he be losing besides money?

So here you were, standing in your new bedroom in her man’s new house. Part of the deal was moving in with her and pretending to be the perfect step-daughter that is so grateful for her step-mom. It made you want to vomit, thinking about how you had to pretend to like her in front of him. But $20 million, it should be worth it.

You were busy unpacking your things in your room when you hear her annoying voice call for you downstairs. You rolled your eyes at the sound of her voice and walked downstairs to greet her. You told yourself to remain calm and keep composure around her new man - for $20 million you thought.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” she said extending her arm towards you, pulling you close to her side. You felt your skin crawl at how fake she was. “This is Jaebum, my boyfriend.” The man turned around with a big smile on his face.

You stood their frozen. Isn’t he...wasn’t he...

“Hi everyone, my name is Jaebum. Jackson is out sick today, so I’m here to sub this class. Please grab your mats and we will get started with a quick warm-up.”

“Wow, the new instructor is hot. How come I’ve never seen him before?” your friend, Minju whispered to you.

“Maybe because you come once a month?” you teased, earning a slap on your arm. You took this gym class every Tuesdays and Thursdays and this was your first time seeing Jaebum.

During the workout, you couldn’t help but notice Jaebum paying more attention to you than to any other student; Minju noticed it too. Every time he instructed to switch exercises, he would always check on your form, holding you up when you started to lose balance.

By the end of the workout, you were beyond exhausted. For some reason you worked extra hard today, maybe because he was paying so much attention to you. You laid on your mat, sweat dripping from the side of your face, your chest heaving up and down. The people around you were packing up and leaving but you stayed behind.

“You did good today,” you hear someone say, making you sit up.

“Thanks,” you said wiping the sweat off your forehead. “Do you have another class? I was going to finish up with some stretches.”

“No, it’s all yours. Do you need help?”

“W-what?”

“With stretching,” Jaebum said getting on his knees in front of you. You allowed him to help you as he laid you on your back. He pushed one of your legs towards your chest, slightly bent, stretching your glutes and the back of your thigh muscles. You groaned at how inflexible you were. Jaebum gently pushed your leg further towards your chest while leaning his body onto yours. His pelvic area now dangerously close to your core, making your lower body tingle.

Minju was right, he was so hot.

He got up off you slightly to switch to your other leg. Once in position, he leaned close to your body, his pelvic area now touching your core. You gasped at the contact. “Too much?” he asked. You shook your head which encouraged him to lean closer to you. “You’re tense,” Jaebum said while massaging your calves. You bit your lip, holding back a moan.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was trying to seduce you.

“How does that feel?” he asked moving up towards your thigh.

“Mmm...perfect,” you purred, opening your eyes and looking at him. He was so close to you. His hands inched closer and closer to your core, you gulped, holding your breath.

“Relax...” he whispered softly. Listening to him, you exhaled and relaxed your body. With each exhaled, he pushed his lower body closer to yours. Feeling his length on you made you wet.

Getting off of you once again, he pulled your other leg close to your chest. Now both your legs touching your chest, your ass exposed to him. He moves close to you again, pressing his pelvic area on your ass.

He was definitely trying to seduce you and you didn’t mind. He was so hot.

You decided to test your theory by rocking your body slightly back and forth, pressing your ass on his crotch each time. His cock was definitely growing hard.

“Don’t do that,” he whispered, holding your body still.

“Don’t do what?” you asked innocently, batting your eyes at him. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you close to him. You moaned feeling his length pressed on your core.

“Do that,” he breathed out. “That feel good?”

You bit your lip, slowly nodding in defeat. Jaebum leaned down close to your face, inches away from your lips. You gulped, nervous. He connected his lips with yours, wrapping your legs around his waist. You instinctively rolled your hips towards his.

This was inappropriate. You’ve never done anything like this before. The risk of having someone walk in on you and the instructor making out on the floor of the training room was exciting. It was different and it turned you on even more.

Jaebum’s hand reaches for your core, slightly running his hand up and down folds. You cursed yourself for wearing light grey leggings, afraid that your juices would seep through your pants. He pulls his lips away from you and looks down at you. “I wonder how wet you are,” he said out of breath. You feel his thumb press against your clit, gently stroking it.

“Why don’t you find out?” you teased as you lifted yourself slightly upwards with your elbows.

This was bold of you; very unlike your usual self. You could see his lip twitch as he lifted your lower body up and pulled down your leggings in one swift motion.

“Is working out in a thong comfortable?” he asked leaning down to kiss your pelvic area. You laughed.

“No, but it makes my ass look great.”

You hear him chuckle, moving your thong to one side. His lips quickly connects to your core. “So wet,” he mumbles into your core. His mouth works wonders on your core, sucking and nibbling every now and then. Jaebum runs his tongue up and down your folds. When he reaches your clit, he gives it a gentle suck, making you thrust forward. You spread your legs further apart, craving for more friction. He savored your core like nothing else, moving his tongue strategically over your core, making sure every inch was taken care of. You tangled your fingers into his thick hair, pushing his head closer to your core.

Fuck, it felt so good.

He pulls away from your core for air. His nose, lips and chin covered in your juices. You watched as he reaches in his pants and takes out his already hardened cock. You licked your lips before looking behind you to see if anyone was opening the door; not that you could tell. You got on your knees and guided Jaebum to sit back. You opened your mouth, tongue out, ass up, eyes locked on his before taking his cock in your mouth. He moans once your tongue touches him, his cock already twitching.

“Imagine if someone walked in right now, your ass up, pussy exposed,” he said grabbing your hair in his hands. Your eyes still locked on his as you stuck your ass further up, giving it a little shake before moaning. You could feel your juices running down your thigh. You bobbed your head up and down his length, hands around the bottom of his length, milking him.

You never really enjoyed blowjobs, but he was different. You wanted to suck him till he came in your mouth. With each suck, you felt him twitch against your tongue. You moaned sending a vibration on his cock. This only made him thrust further into your throat, making you choke on his cock. He guides your head further down his cock as he feels you choke with each thrust. His moans were music to your ears.

He moves you away from his cock and connects his lips onto yours. Jaebum shoves his tongue in your mouth as he grabbed a hold of your neck. You crawled on top of him. Your pussy already drenched, you sat down on his cock, rubbing your juices all over him. You teased yourself, rubbing his cock against your folds, giving you the friction you craved.

“Come on baby. You don’t want someone to walk in on us,” he commented, grabbing a hold of your hips to stop you from teasing yourself. You listened to him, guiding his cock into your pussy. You sat down slowly until he bottomed out. He was thick and big - you waited a bit to get yourself adjusted to his size before you started moving.

You knew you didn’t have much time, so you started rolling your hips forward, grinding your hips onto him. Jaebum held onto your waist, thrusting upwards. You pressed your upper body against his, kissing him. You stuck your ass up as he slightly pulled out of you. You quick brought it back down, shoving his cock back into you, making you both moan loudly.

From a distance, you could hear laughter growing closer and closer making your heart race; someone was about to come in. You didn’t care though, you wanted to be caught.

“I want someone to walk in on us and watch us fuck,” you said against his lips. “I want them to see your cock in my pussy,” you said rolling your hips forward. “I want them to see your cum dripping out of my pussy.”

You don’t know what took over you because you’ve never had a thing for dirty sex talk.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” he said holding onto your hips tighter. You felt the pit in your stomach begin to grow as your nails dug onto his chest. It felt too good to hold it in. Holding your breath, you tried to calm yourself down, but his vigorous thrusts drives you near your edge. You could tell he was close to with his sloppy thrusts. His hands reaches for your clit as he rubs you roughly. You screamed with pleasure overwhelming you. He pinches and rubs your clit, his thrusts never stop, as you came hard onto his cock. Your body twitching from being overstimulated.

You felt your core clench on his cock, making him thrust into you harder until you felt his hot seed in you. The both of you let out a final moan, savoring the intense orgasm you both just had.

“Y/N...” you hear your step-mother call, bringing you back to reality.

“What?”

“I said this is my boyfriend Jaebum,” she said with a slight glare.

“Right,” you stuck your hand out for him to shake. “Hi.”

He smiled back at you, “Hi Y/N. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Was he pretending not to know you on purpose? Did he forget about you?

It wasn’t like that happened years ago; it was only two months ago. You could never forget what happened in the gym room and you had hoped he didn’t forget either although you never saw him again.

“Appa!” you hear someone call from behind. You turned to see a little boy running towards Jaebum. He lifts the boy off his feet and into his arms. He was so cute.

“Y/N, this is my son, Mingukie,” Jaebum introduces with a big smile on his face.

In that moment, you didn’t know what shocked you more - the fact that he had a son that your bitch of a step-mom didn’t tell you about, the fact that he forgot who you were after the best sex of your life or the fact that you slept with your future step-dad.

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behindheremeraldeyes · 4 years

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sasusaku month 20

day 3- sleeping soundly

title: power nap

summary: every Tuesday, both Sasuke and Sakura go out for lunch during her break at the hospital. It’s a sacred tradition between them, but what happens when she’s too tired to even walk?

a/n: I tried to make a very cute pic this time so they could take a break from all the stress of being a ninja hahaha I have to admit that this theme made me want to miss the time when I could take more naps, and perhaps, I should start taking them whenever I can XD As always, I hope you enjoy this one! Have fun! PS: This story is still un-beta'd. My beta-reader is quite busy lately and she didn't have time for proofreading this one yet. Sorry for the mistakes you're gonna find!

Rated K

According to the big clock displayed above the central desk of the hospital reception, Sasuke had arrived just in time for her break. It was Tuesday, and just like every week, it was the day of their weekly lunch. He was on time, as always, and for some of the staff already knew what he was doing there, it wasn’t unusual for some nurses to look at him and whisper something to each other. Some would even giggle, eventually, and when they did, the Uchiha couldn’t help but wonder if seeing two people going out for lunch together was really that amusing.

It really was just lunch, after all.

A couple of months before, Sakura had been the one who had first created that tradition between them, saying it would be a nice chance for them to bond, and even if he liked to believe they didn’t really need an official reason to meet, the Uchiha eventually decided to play along. Every week since then, she would normally be waiting for him in front of the hospital reception, and as soon as their eyes met, she would greet him joyful before they could go find a place to eat. They would spend some time together, just the two of them, chatting while enjoying a nice and peaceful meal until her break was over. He would walk her back to the hospital, then, and he wouldn’t cordially wait until he made sure she was already inside.

Those were their Tuesdays. Simple, comfortable and consistent.

They had fallen into that delicate and domestic routine, and it didn’t take long before he grew fond of that unaltered part of his new life. He enjoyed those moments to the point where he would sometimes catch himself growing excited for their weekly encounter and lose a couple of hours of sleep because of that.

Tuesdays had become really great days, for sure.

And as soon as he saw her smiling, small figure talking to an old lady, he realized they were about to have another good day just the two of them.

When her green eyes made contact with his mismatched ones, a brighter smile lit up on her face and it didn’t take long before she excused herself from what seemed to be just a civilian wanting to chat. Ever since he returned to Konoha, Sasuke realized the pinkette had become quite popular among the elderly, and it wasn’t unusual for them to greet her with a wrinkled smile whenever they saw her on the streets. She would always treat them nicely, he realized, and perhaps that was the reason why they all liked her so much.

She walked up to him, then, yawning deeply as her heels clicked across the hospital reception. Now that she was standing closer, his eyes could see that she seemed to be a bit tired, her eyelids looking too heavy as they threatened to cover her eyes completely. There were dark circles around her eyes, and her breathing pattern was calm and slow.

Apparently, someone had had a rough day.

“Hey there—” She started, but her words were cut by another yawn that escaped her lips. The back of her right hand went to cover her mouth, and she blinked twice before fully opening her eyes. “—Sasuke-kun.”

“You look tired.” He said, simply, his face unaltered.

She looked at him, lifting her brows in surprise. The pinkette was still not used to how straight-forward he was, but it didn’t take long before her lips curled up. “Is it that evident?”

“Aah.” He agreed. “The dark circles around your eyes are quite big.”

“Ugh.” She pouted, her small hands now touching her face. “I guess not even all that make up could hide them in the end.” She smiled weakly at that, her head tilting to the side.

“Bad day?”

“Not really. It’s just that I got home pretty late last night.” She started, and soon they were walking towards the exit of the building. She stretched her arms above her head, moving her shoulders in order to relax her muscles a bit. "That mission took a little longer than I had initially expected and I didn’t really have much time to sleep.”

“Oh, I see.” He nodded in understatement, remembering she had, indeed, talked about a mission Kakashi had selected her for. If he recalled it correctly, she had been sent to Amegakure so she could help the new governors establish a new health care system based on medical ninjas. It was something the Shinobi Alliance had decided to do together, and though it would cost her many days of going back and forth to the village hidden in the rain, Sakura seemed very excited about the outcome. “At what time did you get back?”

“I think it was around 2am or something like that… I just know Kakashi-sensei wasn’t there when I went to his office to report back.”

“2am?!” He sounded surprised, his brows arching at her words. No wonder why she looked that tired. “And at what time did your shift at the hospital started today?”

“My shift officially began at 7am, but I was already here by 6:30am. I had an important surgery scheduled so I came in earlier to prepare everything.”

His dark eyes grew wider now, and suddenly, he stopped walking. Sakura couldn’t really be serious at that moment. She was basically telling him that she had returned to the village from a long trip around 2 in the morning, and instead of taking at least the morning off, she was already up before 6am and operating at 7am.

Normal people shouldn’t push themselves that hard.

She had definitely spent way too much time alone with Naruto, he thought.

“You've barely slept, Sakura.”

“I know…” She said, yawning once more. “I'll get some sleep when I get home.”

“And at what time will that be?”

“It won’t take long. Probably around 7pm.” Her voice came out softly and an innocent tone lingered to it. Her eyes held no malice, and at that moment, he really thought she was even worse than the Dobe.

Maybe she had hit her it during the war or maybe it happened during her time spent training with her master, because there had to be something really wrong with that girl’s head. At that moment, she was barely being able to hold herself up, yawning every three seconds, and yet, there she was, all smiles on her face as she was ready to go out with him for lunch. Even knowing about that mission at least 1 week before she had to go, Sakura had decided that it would be okay to sign in for a 12h shift at the hospital the day after she got back. Couldn't she just haven been a decent person and allow herself to get some proper hours of sleep at least once?

Apparently, the answer was a big, irresponsible and tired no.

Perhaps, he wasn’t the only one who needed to have some sense knocked into him.

A couple of seconds went by until the pinkette finally realized the Uchiha had stopped in his tracks. She turned around, then, her heels also stopping, as her green eyes were now looking at him with a confused expression. She tilted her pink head to the left, her lips pressed in a thin line. “Why did you stop, Sasuke-kun?”

“Sakura…” He stopped talking, his mind still trying to think about his next words. He knew he had to be helpful without sounding rude, but he could feel an urge to call her annoying running through his veins. Even if he really hated the idea of ruining their little routine, the Uchiha knew better than to believe she didn’t have more pressing needs at that moment. “Do you still have a couch in your office?”

“Yes, I do. Why?”

“Hn.” He nodded, his hand now hiding inside the pocket of his dark pants. “Go back upstairs then and try to get some sleep. You still have most of your lunch break.”

“What?” Her eyes widened and she unconsciously approached him. At that moment, her confused expression melted into a childish pout, and he would be lying if he said that face didn’t make him feel a bit moved. “What about our lunch?”

“We can just reschedule. You need to get some rest if you want to last until 7pm.”

“This is ridiculous, Sasuke-kun. I’m fine. I’m a bit sleepy, sure, but I’m also hungry. Come on, it’s Tuesday…”

The way she was batting her eyelashes at him made his heart skip a beat. Even if her current appearance was affected by her lack of sleep, Sakura still held traces of the cute girl she has always been, and like before, it was still hard for him to say 'no' to her. She had always known how to be pretty convincing around him, and at that moment, even if he knew she could use a power nap— or any kind of nap, for the matter— it was still hard for him to simply give up on their lunch.

It felt selfish of him— futile, even, because, really, it was just lunch— but he really wanted to go out with her so they could spend some time together. They had a lot of catching up to do, and even if he would mostly just listen to her while she talked about something that had happened at the hospital or at her missions, it was always great to see her looking that happy.

After everything that had happened in the past 3 years, Sakura needed happy times in her life. Both of them did. And if their happy could be achieved by doing something so trivial as going out for lunch, then it was worth fighting for it.

However, if she could use that time in order to recover from a tiring mission, how could he deny her such thing?

“You really need to sleep, Sakura.” His voice came out firm and with no hesitation. His eyes were locked with hers, and there was no sign in him that indicated that he would back off from his decision. “It will be good for you if you can rest a little.”

“But—“

“No ‘but's. You look like you were hit by a boulder and we both know how distracted you get when you’re sleepy.”

Her lips parted at his statement, but no words came out from her mouth. Even if she wanted to answer him that she was fine and that she wasn’t really that sleepy, they both knew it would be useless. The Uchiha, if anything, is as stubborn as his blonde best friend, and at that moment, he wouldn’t simply be convinced by her white lies.

A soft smile crossed her lips, then, and she shyly looked down for a bit before her glance returned to his eyes. Her hands were now hiding behind her back, and she bit her lower lip before deciding to talk again. “I bet every girl would love to hear such delicate words regarding her looks.”

“Tch." He scoffed. “You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, I’m just messing with you.” She giggled, softly. “Are you sure it’s really okay?”

“It is, don’t worry. Try to get some sleep and I’ll go fetch you something to eat.”

“What?” She asked, confused, her sleepy head clearly not working well anymore.

“I'll go out and bring you some food. You weren’t really thinking about skipping lunch, were you, Sakura?”

“… Of course not.” She said, looking away from his judging stare. Sakura was clearly lying— or, at least, trying to— and if not for her need to sleep, he would’ve certainly scolded her for being that irresponsible.

Maybe next time, he thought.

“Hn, yeah, right…” He nodded, his eyes closing before he could start his way towards the exit. Their shoulders brushed as he walked past her, and though he knew she wanted to follow him, he was glad she didn’t. “I’ll be back soon with your food.”

“Fine.” She said, stretching the first syllable. “Next week lunch will be on me, then!”

“Aah.” He agreed, as he continued his way across the room.

“Oh, and Sasuke-kun!” She called his name, and immediately, he turned his head to look at her. She was smiling now, her arms crossed across her chest. “Don't forget to bring your food, too! We can still eat together in my office, right?” The cheerfulness lingering in her voice made his chest feel warmer, and even though her eyes were surrendering to her exhaustion, she still looked quite happy to have found a way for them to be together for lunch. She was smiling softly at him, and even if he had initially planned on bringing her food and leaving her to rest, Sakura had just convinced him to stay. With her joyful features and her sleepy expression, she had just managed to save their beloved tradition.

It should be okay if he stayed for just a little, right? Just until she could finish her lunch, and then he would be gone. Yes, it would certainly be okay.

“I guess we can. I’ll meet you there.”

“Hai!” She said, and he began walking again. “I’ll leave the window open for you!"

At her words, his lips formed a soft smirk as he finally exited the hospital. Though she would normally tell both him and Naruto not to invade her office through the window, on that day, Sakura figured it would be easier like that. His ears captured the sound of her heels clicking as she turned back, and he just hoped she could get some sleep before he returned with their food.

It was going to be a different Tuesday, for sure, but he figured it should be okay as long as they could be together in the end.

–––––––––

Though there weren't many people in the small restaurant down the hospital street, Sasuke made sure to take his time before ordering so she could have some more sleeping time. With his eyes always checking the clock, the raven haired boy made sure to calculate a decent amount of time— given the circumstances, of course— for her to sleep and eat properly before going back to work.

For they have gone eating together multiple times already, he knew about her taste for vegetables and something lighter for lunch, choosing to order her the special salmon with a bittersweet sauce that was made of honey, rice vinegar and soy sauce. It was a very popular dish according to the guy who worked there, and he hoped she would like his choice.

The food inside the take-out bag was still hot by the time he reached the hospital, and he made sure not to waste a single moment before climbing up the walls to her office. His chakra-coated sandals helped him make his way up, and in no time, he was at her window, which had been left open for him. He was very careful while entering, making sure not to bump on any of her belongings. As always, her office was filled with piles of papers and medical books, and he wondered how she even managed to find anything in the middle of that mess.

Once he was completely inside, his eyes wasted no time before they could start their search for her, and quickly, they found her small and delicate figure still asleep on the couch. She was sleeping soundly, her shallow breaths escaping her slightly parted lips in a smooth rhythm. Her chest was going up and down in a slow rhythm, and if he had never seen her breaking large trees with her bare hands, Sasuke would even believe she was just a defenseless and powerless girl.

Sakura looked really peaceful like that, he thought, as he looked at her with softness in his eyes. She was so calm and tranquil, clearly too busy sleeping to even notice his sudden presence in the room. Back when they were younger and they had to camp outside during their missions, she would always wake up at the slightest noises, but at that moment, he doubted she would wake up unless he literally shook her awake.

She was really tired, for sure. She was all curled up on her couch, her head resting against a crumpled jacket that was serving as a pillow for the moment. Her pink locks were falling forward, covering the seal on her forehead, and there was a small pout decorating her rosy lips.

Though he has never been the most sensitive person out there, it was undeniable that Sakura looked incredibly cute. His eyes— even if he was probably unaware— looked at her affectionately, and suddenly, a mix of tenderness and empathy coursed through him, and he had to hold back the urge to move her pink locks from her soft face.

He didn’t want anything to disturb her at that moment. She deserved those minutes of pristine silence, and he would do everything he could in order to protect them. After seeing her like that, it didn’t take long for the Uchiha to decide not to wake her up to eat, choosing, instead, to leave her food there so she could eat it later that day.

The salmon would turn cold, sure, but he figured that she could heat it some other time.

A soft smile took over his lips, and slowly, he made his way towards the couch where she was sleeping. For it was a chilly afternoon, he took his dark coat off, covering her small body in order to keep her warm. The piece of fabric weighted over her small figure, and he watched as she tugged it closer to her with a comfortable expression on her face. After that, the Uchiha found a spot next to her, and since they had decided that they would eat together, he believed that it would be okay if he just ate his lunch there, by her side before it also turned cold.

Slowly and carefully not to wake her up, he fished his sandwich from the paper bag, taking a bite from it and allowing the tomato, the cheese and the basil to mix inside his mouth. The sandwich tasted very good, indeed. It was just a simple thing anyone could prepare, but it still tasted pretty special for him. His eyes would eventually drift from his lunch to her sleepy, little head; and even if her small breaths were the only sounds filling the room, Sasuke couldn’t simply find the words to describe how domestic and pure that whole thing felt.

It felt so casual and intimate, in a way he hadn’t felt in years. His heart skipped a beat at the thought, bringing a shy smile to his lips, and he mentally thanked her for bringing back that innocence to his life. As the months went by, he realized how much that girl alone could do for him— even when she was doing nothing more than sleeping by his side— and he wondered how many other things could she bring into his new life if he just allowed her to.

In a matter of weeks, Sakura had turned his Tuesdays into pleasurable days, and now, he wondered what else could she do were she to take care of the rest of his week.

A sigh escaped his lips, and quickly, he brushed that thought away. After a couple of minutes, he had finally finished his sandwich, satisfied with his pleasurable lunch, and slowly, he allowed his head to fall back a little so he could rest it against the couch. He closed his eyes, for an instance, solely paying attention to the sound of her breaths, lulling him into a moment of pure bliss.

His head was feeling lighter, his breath was matching hers, and suddenly, he felt an odd warmth against his leg. It caught him by surprise, at first, but it didn’t take long before his body grew used to that small contact between them. A feeling of calmness invaded his body at that moment, and soon, he emptied his mind from whatever bad thought could even dare disturb that moment. He felt his conscious slipping from his grip, then, knowing very well what would happen if he just let it go.

He was going to fall asleep, he knew. He was going to fall asleep on a couch by her side, and even if that would probably be something hard to explain once they both woke up, Sasuke couldn’t find it in himself to care.

It felt too good. It felt right and even if he had had a good night of sleep himself, he figured he could allow himself to rest for a bit.

It was just a nap after lunch, after all. Was it really such a bad idea?

No. At least not at that moment. Not on that odd, yet ordinary, Tuesday.

fin.

#sasusaku #sasusaku fanfiction #sasusaku month 2020 #ssm20 #ssm20d03 #myssfics

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millieg-03 · 3 years

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4.20am Sunday, 21/03/2021

I’m pretty restless tonight. The morphine helps me sleep a little, but my arm movement keeps blocking my cannula, resulting in the constant beep on the infusion pump.

My pain levels are tolerable. My tummy is pretty full though, and still no stoma output. I can feel the start of the cramps building up as the morphine is wearing off, but my dose is keeping me consistently comfortable.

Yesterday was a good day. I managed to ‘eat’ two serves of chicken broth, two instant coffees and two apple juices. There hasn’t been a lot of food this week. There has been a lot of craziness though!

My stomal therapy nurse (STN) visited my house on Monday afternoon to insert a catheter into the distal opening of my stoma. As I watched the colonoscopy prep be inserted via catheter into my system, I didn’t envy the missed opportunity to taste it. Gotta take the wins where they come!

7am Tuesday morning, my STN visited again for round two. Inquisitive me watched carefully throughout this process, and helped where I could - I found it quite fascinating.

Round three happened at 9.30am, then for the first time in 9 months I was able to sit on the toilet and ‘go’ like a normal person.

In the day surgery prep room my Dad fielded a message from my beautiful Peter - our home loan had been approved. WooHoo! So excited for our future! Dad stayed by me for a few hours while I waited for my turn in theatre. It’s a routine procedure, but there was this bogey hanging about that gave this unspoken feeling that things were more than just routine. The gravity of the situation was cemented when my surgeon visited me in recovery. He could see tumour recurrence through the scope. His tone gave insight that I will have a long road ahead. This news did not surprise nor shock me.

I grabbed my property bag, got changed & checked my voicemail “I have the paperwork in front of me, I just need to know what your start date will be. We can’t wait for you to join our team” - I tabled that one for the day, called my beautiful Peter & delivered the minimal information provided to me in recovery. Off we went home to grab the cake & present & headed out to dinner for my 5yr old nieces birthday. It was lovely being around family. The genuine joy as she opened her presents & squealed in excitement. All the little kids lining up for a piece of their Snow White birthday cake. And the food! I enjoyed garlic bread, chicken parmy & a piece of Peter’s delicious chocolate cake. Absolutely de-lish.

I was coaxed into slumber that night by sound of waves through my belly. There were wooshes & grumbles, and I soon found sleep.

I got up to empty half my stoma bag at 2am & sought some strong pain relief. The wooshes and grumbles were no longer playing nice. My bag wasn’t as full as normal. The pain relief kicked in, and I went back to sleep.

Peter dropped me at work that next morning. I was quite keen to be back. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy working hard. I enjoy problem solving, and challenging myself to get better outcomes. It was good to be back at work after a few days off. Team meeting went off without a hitch, but concentration became increasingly difficult thereafter. I took an early lunch just to lay down. Not long after returning to the desk I was unable to manage the pain enough to continue working. 12.44pm text to Peter “I think I might need to go to hospital. My stoma hasn’t worked since dinner, my abdo pain is bad & I just threw up”. I laid in the foetal position while my beautiful colleague sat and comforted me. 10 minutes later I was escorted to Peter’s car.

I’m definitely more rascal than refined elegance. I’ve had my fair share of nights out over the years where I’ve ended up a sickly mess. It’s almost a right of passage through your early twenties, right? Well I don’t think I have ever been this messy, and any fibres of decorum I held, I’m pretty sure I left them in the gutter outside the hospital emergency room. Peter dropped me at the door while he found a park. I didn’t make it to the door. The complete contents of my previous night’s dinner was exited into the gutter, and Peter found me in a ball on the ground rocking back & forward. I had a 10/10 pain, even with targin in my system (a slow-release opiate pain relief).

Here I sit, four days later (now 5.15am), still in hospital. I’m restless because I’m on patient transport today to go to Royal Prince Albert Hospital in Sydney. My Thursday MRI scan showed tumour recurrence & spread to surrounding organs. It’s in my ovaries, uterus and small bowel (hence bowel obstruction & excruciating pain). My current understanding is that a kick-arse surgical team from RPAH will remove anything containing tumours. They will take my uterus and ovaries out. They will take some of my small bowel out. My stoma (I’ve named her Betty) looks like becoming a permanent fixture. If there is any activity near my bladder, then some of that will be removed & probably result in a Urostomy (bladder stoma). Mum thinks I should call her Bertha if this does eventuate. I like that. Bertha and Betty.... there’s also one deposit just hanging about a bit higher. I was told it’s not near the lungs, but more sitting in some fatty tissue near my large bowel somewhere. The true extent of things won’t be known until they actually get in there and have a look!

In terms of looking toward our future, I withdrew from the new job. We are still selling our house, but will move in with Mum & Dad and rent our new one out until I’ve recovered enough to return to work.

Transport is tentatively booked for 9.50am, so I’ll get up & do some laps of the ward, then get myself ready for the trip.

(I did 2x 1km walks of the hallway yesterday!).

For now? Over and out - MandyG Xoxox

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420pogpills · 3 years

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✿ my rollerskating diary ✿

making a new post for it so i can put it under a 'keep reading' since it's getting long and i don't want to keep flooding anyone's dashboard with it. but basically i just started rollerskating this week and i'm documenting my journey just because :'D this is all very long and rambly so feel free to ignore it, i'm just rambling for myself haha!

(pinning it so i don't lose it, since i can't reblog and add stuff under an existing 'keep reading' link)

starting from june 15th

DAY 1 rollerskating update: i fell on my ass two times so hard that i still feel my spine vibrating 😭😭😭

DAY 2: doing alright.. i went in with 0 expectations LOL so i'm happy! i shoved shirts down my pants so my butt was nice and padded, falling was less scary! i've gotten a y3 tool to loosen my trucks a bit too cause they are crazy tight.. also decided to get an instructor! there's someone who does 121 lessons super locally to me so i'm going for it, i reallyyyy wanna get good at this :')

DAY 3: i can actually skate a bit now? i loosed my trucks and wheels a tiiiiny bit and definitely felt a difference. my biggest issue now is with stopping ohhhh my god why is that so hard? 😭😭 also absolutely cannot walk on skates?? i thought that was gonna be one of the easiest things but boyyyy. but yeah definitely seeing improvement which is exciting! today’s practice ended with my worst fall yet, i fell so hard on my ass.. it was a bit scary and now i’m in quite a lot of pain buuuut we keep on moving! can’t wait to actually have a lesson but it ain’t till the 29th…

DAY 4: short-ish practice today. focused on using my toe stop, tried to work on slowing down and stopping mostly. kind of felt more unstable today compared to yesterday? which left me feeling a liiiitle discouraged :’) but i know it’s early days!

i think it’s because of the bad fall i had yesterday, i moved a little more hesitantly to avoid falling again so i kept focusing on that instead of fluid movement. there’s been a pretty sharp pain in my tailbone from that fall, so realistically i think the smartest thing to do was for me to stop altogether until the pain goes. but because i just started i feel like i’ll have to start from square one if i take a week off or something :( i just really want to get better at this soon so i can go practice outside cause currently i’m relying too much on grabbing on to things and i feel like i’d improve more in more natural surroundings. but i think until the pain goes away, i won’t be skating outside just yet :’) plus it’s planning to rain for the whole upcoming week.. skating is hard man aaaaa i can’t wait to get better at it!

DAY 5: shortest practice so far today (literally did like 10 minutes) because i wanted to get on the skates so my body doesn't forget the feeling but i didn't want to skate and risk falling today because i really wanted to give my coccyx a break as it's still hurting from that fall on day 3 lmao.

i actually went on a mission today, i walked around my local area and beyond trying to find some good spots to practice. like i said in day 4's post, i am just relying too much on grabbing on to walls and tables when i practice at home, so i just really want to get out there.

i found 3 places that i'm going to keep in mind for now (and will be looking for more soon i reckon!) one is a tennis court in a park like 15 mins away from my house. literally no one ever uses it and the ground looks pretty good so that's gonna be my number 1 spot. there's also a basketball court there that looks even better for skating but that place does get used by people a lot, so i'm only gonna use it if i'm ever feeling super enthusiastic and manage to get to the park at like 7am or something haha! the other spot is a massive parking lot of an exhibition centre that doesn't have any events at the moment due to covid, and the other is a smooth long path by the water! (but the water is gated off so i won't fall in :P) there's a great long path by my house, but there's always people there, walking or riding bikes, so i can't risk going there just yet in case i crash into a child or a dog or a bike haha i'm not good at stopping yet :')

DAY 6: another short one today due to some pain (i suffer from chronic pain) - again i just wanted to keep my body familiar with skates and skate around a bit, practice stopping, but not fall and risk causing myself more pain while i'm still recovering from that fall earlier in the week cause yeah unfortunately, it's still hurting :'D bUT i got something today that i wanted from the very beginning - IMPACT SHORTS! i know they aren't gonna work miracles but any protection is better than none so i'm excited about them.

gonna skate some more at home tomorrow and tuesday, and them from wednesday i promised myself it's time to be brave and start practicing outside! i'd start from tomorrow but i've got plans on tuesday so i didn't want to risk getting scrapped up or too hurt since i'm seeing a friend i haven't seen since last summer! looking forward to that :)

DAY 7: today was the first time i felt like 'okay i really want to go outside now' - the space at home is just too cramped, and the tiles sometimes catch me up, but today i actually felt pretty confident on the skates! i fell twice but both times on my front and catching myself on my knees is pretty easy. i hope i can keep that confidence for wednesday when i go outside for the first time :')

i know my first time outside i'm gonna struggle and fall a lot, but i think once i don't have any limits like walls or furniture around me, i'm going to improve much faster since i'm going to be much more reliant on my own balance and strength. honestly nothing more exciting than seeing real progress. cannot wait to get better, and get more confident, and skate in more places!

#rollerskating diary #personal #not mcyt

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selena-ana · 3 years

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Stats for the week in case anyone cares:

Tuesday 10.8.21 - 154.4lb

Wednesday 11.8.21 - 149.4lb

Thursday 12.8.21 - 146.8lb

Friday 13.8.21 - 145lb

Saturday 14.8.21 - 143.6lb

Sunday 15.8.21 - 142.4lb

Started my fast Tuesday and lasted 117 hours just to binge Saturday night 🙃 purged it all and the whole thing (binging and purging) only spanned like an hour and a half hence why I think I still lost overnight

Today was okay. I went for a walk after I woke up and took some parcels back and stuff and got 6k steps in which was nice. I got so hungry at like 3pm though and had a yogurt (92 cals) and a spoonful of light ice cream (????) but then was still hungry so just decided to make some egg on toast (about 340 calories) and had a packet of crisps (109 calories) rather than binge bc cba with just binging and purging at 6pm for the rest of my life

I was planning on having salmon and roasted veg for dinner but honestly I’m stuffed now and I don’t want to overdo it after not eating for 6 days so I’m gonna leave it there and just drink loads of peppermint tea and water for the rest of the night even if I get hungry and hope and pray weigh in isn’t terrible tomorrow. Might go for another walk later as well bc I’m feeling itchy idk

I did prep my roasted veg before I decided this though and now I’m upset I didn’t weigh the veg before I cut it all up so I could accurately track it but I also honestly don’t want to get back into the habit of weighing everything religiously bc it’s such a drainnnnnnnn but I’m like I need to know every calorie in everything so it’s just such a mental battle and basically I hate myself

So I guess totals for today (first day eating and keeping it down in 6 days) is 550ish calories which in my head I know is absolutely minimal especially as I went for a walk but in my head I absolutely know I’m going to gain tomorrow bc it’ll be the first weigh in with food in my stomach all week and I’ll be weighing in earlier than usual bc I’m back to work (so like 7am rather than 9/10am) and that makes me so sad

I wish it was all a lot easier but honestly it just feels so hard. I wish I could stop this shit bc it really is so exhausting but I know I still have at least 20lb to lose before I’ll be remotely happy. I just wish it could all happen in the background without me really thinking about it lmao but it fully has to take up my entire brain space which is frustrating because it makes me so hyper aware and self conscious about things

#ana #fast #mia #eating disorder #ed #weigh in #anorexia

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stayforya · 4 years

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TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE | YANG JEONGIN

member: yang jeongin

genre: to all the boys i’ve loved before!au

words: 1.7k

summary: your letters are your most secret possesions. you write them when you have a crush so intense you don’t know what else to do.

a/n: this is a series and you can find the others here. we wanted to do this for a looong time and it’s finally here :) hope you enjoy <3

it’s not like you were that into coffee

but lately the study nights were getting harder and sometimes coffee was the best way to keep you up during class

a friend of yours recommended that café next to your house so you could pass by

it wasn’t a new one, you had already seen it

but you never went in

this time, 7am, there you were

after a long night of studies and some hours of sleep

you were a bit surprised by the amount of people on the line to get their drinks

was the café this famous?

you stood in the line looking at your phone

you only moved when you saw the feet in front of you moving too

but you didn’t notice when your turn finally came

reading those messages, you weren’t paying attention or listening to anything else

“excuse me”, a voice took you out of your own world

“oh sorry”, you said, looking up and putting the phone inside the pocket

there was a brief pause

because your eyes needed to get used to that amazing view

the guy in front of you had a sweet smile when you looked at him confused

his eyes had that shiny thing you didn’t understand how someone could have so early in the morning

then his smile started fading and you noticed you were being too weird

you didn’t say anything! go, do something!

“ah hm I would like an espresso please”

he nodded and left to prepare it

you went to the other side of the counter

waiting for it to be done

“here you go”, he said

your eyes looked at the coffee cup but also at his hands holding it, which led to his uniform

and there was a tag with his name on it

yang jeongin

“thank you…” should you say it “jeongin?”

“yes”

“nice, I pronounced it right”

“yeah”, he giggled, “and yours?”

“sorry?”, you were still sleepy

“your name, so I can write it on the cup”

“ah, I’m y/n”

he took his pen and wrote it

then smiled again and gave it to you

“thanks”

you turned on the music again on your earphones

and noticed you were smiling

was it because of the song?

it was a song you liked a lot but what

was that because of jeongin?

yes he was cute so no judge

you spent two days without going there

because you woke up late to class you just didn’t have the pleasure to buy a nice coffee made by him

it was friday when you finally got to pass by

the line was even longer but you had time to wait

the guy in front of you was being served by jeongin

and without noticing, you were waiting for him to come and ask for your order

but he didn’t

there was a girl, not too happy to be up at 7am, and she was the one who made your coffee

you deep down knew that every coffee would end up being the same no matter who was the person who made it

simply because there was a machine

but you could prove jeongin’s one was more delicious

he didn’t see you even though you were looking at him

he was way too busy that day

“your name?”, the girl asked

“y/n”

you didn’t know if she didn’t hear it right

but she wrote something else there

that wasn’t your name

and jeongin wrote it right on the first time

ok you had so much on your mind, you couldn’t pause to think about these details

you just wanted that coffee no matter what name you’d get on the cup

during the weekend you also couldn’t go there

so you went again on the next monday

he was there so automatically you felt some kind of shiver on your spine

the line luckily wasn’t long, maybe because it wasn’t too early

jeongin was using the same apron from the uniform

but the shirt he was using was different and the colour somehow made him look brighter

plus his smile and kindness were the best part of his everyday look

“hi”

“oh hey”, come on, why did your voice sound so weird, this isn’t a moment for flirting, “I would like an espresso”

“coming for you in a minute”, he said and smiled, not showing his cute teeth though

you waited there, not doing anything else, just waiting

and watching him, of course

he was probably everyone’s favourite from the café team

everyone would smile at him because he was just too nice and full of energy so early in the morning

you wished no one would ever treat him less than kindly

lost in your thoughts, he came to you holding the cup and you almost didn’t come back to reality

what if he noticed you were focusing on him

“y/n, right?”, he looked for the pen

so jeongin remembered your name, how was that possible when so many people pass by every single day?

“how do you know?”, you asked a bit surprised

“I remember you”

you only met once

you tried not to stare a lot and smiled to yourself

“thank you, jeongin”, you said

“see you”

that coffee was very hot but your face was definitely hotter

you went there the other day

and the other day

your bills would increase, you knew that

but you’d stop going there after the tests

why not enjoy while you could?

there was a day you came even earlier

he wasn’t there though

and you felt like something was off

you were starting to get used to him

just a few words spoken to each other

but such a nice way to start the day

you wanted to ask something to someone

but you heard an employee saying some of them were having days off

and that was why you saw new faces there

when would they come back?

you didn’t ask because it would sound way too much

people usually don’t ask where is someone you’re not even close to

you just bought your coffee and went to class

the next day he wasn’t there again and you started to think he wouldn’t be on the other day

congrats! he wasn’t

so you didn’t go there during the weekend

and since he wasn’t there

you felt like you could go anywhere else

it’s just a normal café when he isn’t there

ok, it’s not like you were that into him

but the effect of seeing him everyday...

honestly, you were into him

and somehow you felt bad for crushing on a person you didn’t even talk to

for him you were probably another client

you tried for the last time on tuesday, after the final exam

since you were free you could go there to buy more than a coffee

when you got through the door the first person you saw was him

and there was no line because of the hour

it was almost evening and people went there just to eat something with friends

the sunset out there could be seen by the glass wall

that’s why you put your bag on a table where you could watch it perfectly

you walked to where he was to order your cake and milkshake just to celebrate by yourself

he stepped forward and waited for you

“hi”, he said with those shiny dark eyes

it was like all his face said what he wanted to say

all his expressions were full of sincerity

that’s why a simple ‘hi’ was so intense

“hey”, you let yourself smile

“what’s your order today?”

“I’d like this cake and a vanilla milkshake”

he was surprised since you ordered something else other than an espresso

“special occasion?”

“just celebrating that I’ll have my hours of sleep again”

he laughed

you watched every single move of him

his eyebrows raising

his eyes narrowing

while his lips created a big smile

you took the tray and went to your table

you were eating while watching the sunset

the wind blowing brought so much peace

and that orange and blue sky was so pretty

you didn’t notice jeongin cleaning up the table next to you

“beautiful, right?”, his voice startled you

“yeah, is it like this everyday?”

“almost everyday”

you couldn’t miss the opportunity

“so for how long have you been working here?”

“a couple weeks now, just while my friend is on his working holiday”

“that’s nice”

for some reason it was easy to talk to jeongin

you weren’t friends but it felt like this

and you would never talk to a crush like you were talking to him

because he was too nice, it was easier

the sunset light hit his face

the dimples became deeper when he smiled

shy

he knew you were pretending not to look and you hated yourself for not being able to disguise your interest

“see you soon?”

you looked at him again

and nodded

“see you”

your heart started bouncing inside your chest

if he only knew how his little actions affected you

to the point you would need to write to him

immediately

and never send it

but you needed closure and you wouldn’t have unless you made your own

yang jeongin,

I’m not gonna lie. during the hard weeks full of tests and homework to do, going to the café and seeing you is definitely what brighten my day. what a cute smile you have. yes, I have a big crush on you if you’re wondering. I also just know your name because of the tag you have on your uniform. come on, are you surprised? well, you shouldn’t – since the day I saw you, and then the other day you came to my table and talked to me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. it’s cheesy, I know, but I can’t help. on your day off, that café isn’t interesting at all. I don’t even want coffee if you’re not there to smile at me and ask what I want to order. maybe I’m way too intense, but that’s how I deal with crushes. I write about them and for them. until these feelings go away from me and never come back again, you’ll still be the warmth on these cold and busy days. until then, know that I like you. and, for now, I’m not able to forget your shiny galaxy eyes. why did you have to be so nice to me? ok, enough wondering. see you tomorrow. thank you for the everyday coffee that tastes good because you made it.

love,

y/n

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