#my weird little post death headcanons for finrod

[actual-bill-potts]

Finrod, upon being reembodied in Aman, feels lost. First Noldo to return, the only child left of the house of Finwë where once the streets of Tirion and the beaches of Alqualondë, the halls of the palace and the cozy walls of Arafinwë’s house, had rung with merry laughter.

His father had met him outside the Halls of Mandos, eyes alight with such terrible hope that Finrod had been almost afraid. Never had he seen such an expression upon his father’s face, not even when he had turned away from all his children and gone back to Tirion with head bowed. (But then, his father had not spent half a millennium without his children. Then, his father had not felt his sons fall to dragon and wolf, felt their pain and terror and confusion.)

But then Arafinwë had caught sight of him, and there was such joy upon his face that Finrod forgot the words that had passed between them when it became apparent that Arafinwë would not follow his brother into exile; forgot the years leading his House alone; forgot even, for a moment, the knowledge of how it felt to be ripped apart so wholly you could not understand the shape of your fëa. He forgot all, in the rush to fling his arms about his father and be embraced in turn. Atya was weeping into his shoulder, and Finrod was crying in turn, and he let himself be held as he had not since long before that terrible dark night in Tirion.

And when they returned to Tirion, and his mother embraced him in turn, arms strong about him and words of forgiveness spoken on both sides—still then he had felt nothing but joy.

But with the passing of time, some of that had—faded—and now Finrod wanders the hills about Tirion, lost and longing for something he cannot name.

Part of it is grief. Everyone in Aman knows grief, now; the Teleri cruelly slain had learned it well, and the Noldor forever sundered from their kin no less. But there is still the certainty, beneath the loss: no one is gone forever. The dead Teleri, killed for their ships, had marched home singing long ago. Finrod himself, Doomed and Returned, can see the hope dawning in the eyes of the Noldor who look at him. He is back! they seem to say, he is back, and if he is back why should not my beloved be returned?

But what of the Atani?

Finrod had known, in Endórë, that his fate was sundered from Men. He had felt it keenly as they died: slowly, one after another, in the long years of peace, then quickly and brutally, when their Leaguer was broken. Still he had had hope. He was Doomed, with little hope of mercy; why, after all, might he not see the Atani again, in whatever place he was sent after his ending?

Now he knows: they are gone. Gone beyond the world, and no hope of reunion. Balan, Baran, Barahir, Beren, even Lúthien: gone past recall. And there is no one else in Aman who knew them; no one else who loved them; no one with whom he can grieve as mortals grieve.

He sits, in the hills, and waits. He is weary. There is joy—of course there is joy!—but there is so much sorrow. So many gone, and none who can understand.

What is he waiting for?

I can understand, says a voice next to Finrod, and he looks up to see—

A hooded figure, garbed in gray, shoulders shaking, sorrow-cloaked—

This is the Lady Nienna.

Finrod kneels. "My Lady," he says, "what would you have of me?"

It is so rare, to see Nienna. Others among the Valar had visited often, Oromë and Ulmo, Vána and Estë, to rejoice at celebrations and wonder at children born. But Nienna was locked in grief, and would not venture forth.

Nienna’s voice comes again, haunted with sorrow. I would have you follow me. I grieve with you, for the Secondborn who are so bright and beautiful, and fade so soon. Perhaps you, in turn, may grieve with me, and give comfort to those who come to my dwelling.

You have walked long in sorrow, Friend of Men. You have loved mortals, and have not feared their loss as it breaks you. The Atani had much to teach you—and you in turn have much to teach us, if you are willing.

Finrod has begun to weep, though he hardly feels it. He does not hesitate. "My Lady of Sorrows, my Lady of Mercy," he says, "I will follow you. Through sorrow to joy."

I am sorrow, Nienna responds, her voice like the tolling of a great bell, but through me, to joy will you walk.

[welcomingdisaster]

🍽 and 🐍 for the asks!

hi hi hi!! ty for the ask. :) 🐉 A lot of figures in the Silm have weird Eldritch powers or possibly biology. Tell us about your headcanons for one.

OOOO hm.... I really enjoy elven song being, like, tied to the Song that makes up all of Arda. I don't think elves can usually meaningfully shape the world with their song (beyond maybe some aesthetic changes like making flowers grow or something) but I think elves that are very skilled in song-weaving can create very convincing illusions.

Here's what I imagine fighting Maglor is like:

You are in the middle of battle. All around you, elves shout, red lifeblood spilling onto dark black soil. Swords flash in the moonlight, the sharp glint of steel. You stab your sword into the chest of one of those thrice-cursed Feanorian followers, the kinslayers, watching his body crumple to the ground. His blood stains your boots. Your blood pumps wildly through your veins, your heart beating hard and fast against your ears. Your side has gained advantage. Press it, and you will win. You are sure of it.

A sound catches your attention, a low, melodic note. A low, slow song, ebbing and flowing as the waves. You turn, and see him.

His head is held proudly, and his hair is raven-dark, and there is not a spec of blood on his clothes. He is on horseback. What a fool, you think. The battle shall certainly startle the horse, send it running madly back through the battle. And if not, what a target he makes for the bowmen, sitting so pretty over the fray. You reach for your throwing knives. If they do not hit him, they will hit the horse, and likely spell his doom as he loses control of it. But you are a good shot, and he is an obvious target. It will be easy to hit him.

The song is beautiful. You notice how clean his clothes are. Not a wrinkle on that dark blue; no trace of mud or blood on his boots. How fair his face. How calm. How calm the song itself, soothing and lulling and quite unfit for the battlefield.

His horse walks forward, slow steps as a horse on parade, its bowed low to the ground, its big brown eyes half-shut. You cannot hear the men shouting anymore. You cannot hear falling bodies, or the squelch of flesh. This is not what battle sounds like.

Everything is made of song, of sound. You know the trees by their song, the rocks by their deep, groaning voices. You know danger because of the sharp notes that accompany it.

The lulling little tune, ebbing and flowing, is the only thing you can hear. The man in front of you, clean and tidy, raven-haired and fair, is the only real thing. And how beautiful he is. How calm.

You do not see him draw his sword.

🍽️ You are having a dinner party and you can invite five (5) characters from the Silm. Who do you invite?

OMG uhhh. oh this is hard

I definitely want Finrod there. I'm getting my bongo drums and kazoo out to see what he does with them (I do genuinely own both) Then Elrond (post-canon) and Elros (pre-death) because I'm using my god-given powers here to let the twins hang out for an extra hour. That means we also need Celebrian, I think. THEN UHH. I think maybe Celebrimbor (I think he'd get a little tipsy and infodump about jewelry-making for an hour and that's what my friends do at my dinner parties anyways)

[procrastinationonvacation]

Hello!! I still love your headcanons so much! I do have a proposal for a found family - Finrod, Orodreth, Finduilas and Curufin, Celegorm and Celebrimbor (and Huan of course) kinda coming together post Bragollach due to loss and stuff and (although it doesn’t last) having a weird pseudo-family dynamic.

(Also - Friend!!!)

-Captain Anon

"an Huan ofc" yes of course, Captanon. Ofcourse Huan too. 

but seriously I do like this idea a lot!!!

(continued below the cut)

Anyways, yes I can totally see that. Honestly, I think it would have been a rather surreal experience for everyone involved, that the bragollach was just devastating on a scale they Had Not Seen. Half of everyone couldn't believe it was as bad as people said, certainly some conspiracy theories were circulating. But for the people in charge (ie this brand new family listed out above) its like the world is about to end. Honestly, I doubt there's much communication going on for the first part of the battle, they're just completely wrecked tbh. And even as the battle progresses and they're recovering order, they have many contradictory reports. The only reason they know some people are alive is the consistent reports of their "death" at ever changing locations.

Anyways, when their cousins show up it's like a literal godsend, ok? Finally they have a tangible part of their family (even if it's the family they don't get along too well with, at the very least I'm sure we can all agree it's nice to have people who are familiar in stressful times.)

For anyone in the Bragollach, it’s a very unifying experience honestly. Kinda in the sense that it feels like they are the last little stronghold of normalcy and i mean... life... kinda..... I know there’s plenty of other people who make it through, and I’m likely just dramatizing it a bit, but idk there’s something distinctly apocalyptic, demotivating, and isolating about smoke clogged air and afternoons flooded in red. 

But yeah, um definitely a sense of “these are the only people I can depend on right now” and especially for the ones who knew each other/ hung out with each other before, this creates a really strong sense of, if not family, then at least community. For the ones who didn’t get along, there’s also a lot of effort into getting along (because I assume they limit their time outside/stick to groups) since they recognise they don’t have anywhere else to go.

I think it wears off quickly for this group because communities that formed off functionality, and will full tolerance at first. I mean honestly, they probably agreed “ok lets get along now” and (at least in my opinion) once you make that kind of agreement assuming you wont get along otherwise, it’s hard to actually learn to get along even if you end up getting along just fine. (I’m not sure I explained that well rip)

---

anyways, no matter how well they get along, Huan is still the only one with brain cells.

[gaolcrowofmandos]

Eleven Questions

Tagged by @cerulean-shark – thanks so much! <33

I love your questions *resists urge to make a separate post for each one*

1. Who are your favorite members of the House of Finwe, and why?

Gah I love them all, but at present I’ve gotta say Turgon, Curufin, and Celebrimbor. They all have such distinct but fascinating tragedies and a ridiculous amount of pride. Plus geniuses in their respective fields :)

2. Favorite weird bit of Tolkien lore?

I always love the canon story of Azog’s death in LotR Appendix A… The whole decapitation/shoving the money bag in his mouth thing is both weird and hella hardcore.

3. Favorite ship?

Just one??? Guess it’ll have to be Curufin/Finrod.

4. How do you feel about Melian and Thingol?

To avoid the Dazed In The Woods Discourse, I’ll say my piece about Thingol’s death and Melian leaving Doriath defenseless. Ethically, big No. She completely abandons her people and realm, allowing the Second Kinslaying.

Narratively, however, I love it–Melian’s just about one of the toughest characters in the whole Silm–we see next to no objective ‘mistakes’ on her end–but then she just reaches her breaking point after losing Thingol, and knowing it’s imminent she’ll lose Luthien, too.

5. Opinions on Maeglin?

Like his mother, his biggest issue is freedom. He spends his life going from cage to cage, from Nan Elmoth with Eol’s abuse to Gondolin (trapped in the shadow of his parents’ deaths, chained to his love for Idril but unable to act on it) to Angband (where he’s offered the supposed chance at real freedom and takes it), then back to Gondolin, to find he’s still in mental bondage to Morgoth. Damn tragic.

6. Opinions on Manwe?

SO well-intentioned. Like, more well-intentioned than you would believe. However, not the best when it comes to empathy. At least Thorondor makes up for a little of that

7. Least favorite Feanorian?

Least favorite? Hmm. I guess it would have to be (in the twin-lost-at-Losgar version) whichever twin is Umbarto (in your chosen version of that version), just for deficit of characterization to make a call on how much I like him.

8. Crossover you’d like to see?

This is terrible, but like… random classic lit stuff? Like, take the premise of The Brothers Karamazov or The Count of Monte Cristo or The Picture of Dorian Gray and insert Silm characters/plot elements and see what happens.

9. Favorite Ainu?

This is unoriginal, but: Mairon is objectively the best. just sayin’

10. Random headcanon about Feanor, Fingolfin, or Finarfin?

Fingolfin’s challenge to Morgoth isn’t a symbolic or courageous or even tragically desperate act; it’s a 100% break with reality, mentally snapping.

11. Opinions on Celebrimbor?

Two big ones which are more like headcanons:

(1) The Rings were his idea. Yes, Annatar is 100% there to trip him up, corrupt him, and tear him down–and ultimately he takes the bigger role in the Rings project, of course–but the idea reeks too much of Fëanor for it to be all him.

(2) He’s a smart guy. He knew who Annatar was (or at least had a solid guess) pretty early on, but kept his secret because his Daddy/Uncle Issues make him a bit of a sucker for redemption arcs. Annatar’s 'big reveal’ isn’t his identity, but his ill intentions.

My Questions:

1) Favorite Third Age ship?

2) *opens trench coat to reveal bags of crack* Take your pick: Gorlim/Celebrimbor, Manwë/Fëanor, Melkor/Ungoliant

3) What’s the first thing (image, scene, quote, aesthetic, anything) you associate with Maedhros?

4) Do you like the 'Hobbit’ films?

5) Why/why not?

6) Which of the three C’s (Celegorm, Caranthir, Curufin) do you think has the saddest story? (yes, i’m aware they’re all terrible ;P)

7) Was the Prophecy of the North/Doom of the Noldor fair?

8) Name one song that makes you think of The Silmarillion (any character, any scene, whatever :).

9) Favorite Dwarf? (First, Second, or Third Age)

10) To what extent was Túrin responsible for his actions?

11) Most recent Tolkien book read?

I tag: @ten-summoners-fails, @fernstrike, @mythopoeticreality, @feanope , @cycas, @raisingcain-onceagain, @straightouttahimring, @filmamir, @alia-andreth, @prackspoor, and @cataclysmofstars , if y'all would like, plus anyone else who’d like to answer!