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nalufever · 2 years

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Raging Shoes

Here’s my second piece for the Fairy Tail Reverse Bang of 2022!! Thanks to my beta readers @impracticaldemon and @sandwitchstories

READ on A03 or Fanfiction

or even here on tumblr ~ Created after inspiration of the lovely fan art of @bbitterpink <<see fab art HERE>> @ftguildevents @fairytailevents

Bickslow incites violence at the best of times and the worst of times. In fact, at ALL times.

It wasn’t unusual to wake up disheveled, sweaty, and with random bruises for the Rajinshuu tribe. But, it was unexpected after a day of celebration. Getting wrecked should happen after fighting pirates, mermaids, or pygmy goats. Now that had been super strange, but goats are almost as lethal as llamas and twice as evil.

Evergreen groaned and pushed lank hair out of her eyes, snagging a few tendrils on the nose pads of her glasses. She hissed in disgust and winced, involuntarily snapping her head back as bright light threatened to burn out her retinas. The motion meant her hair yanked her glasses higgelty piggelty from her face, as she raised an arm. She cursed and then moaned as her words echoed in her throbbing brain, crashing around what had once been prime thinking real estate. The only coherent message was a fervent, “Never again!”

><><><><

“Shut up with the morning screeches, would ya?” Bickslow not so playfully slugged Freed’s shoulder. “You look fine to me.”

Electric green hair and blazing eyes glared at the oblivious Seith, silently and murderously trying to convey an eternity’s worth of ire and disgust. When Bickslow’s head didn’t explode, Freed took several calming breaths and managed to sound marginally less homicidal. “Nobody in their right mind ever cares what you think, Bickslow. NOBODY. EVER.”

“Pfft. How is it after a party you always make it obvious you were never breastfed?”

“Do I have to zap you again?” Laxus frowned and crossed his heavily muscled arms across his chest. Normally he’d look damn intimidating with this maneuver. The bright yellow sunflower dotted shirt on a swirling field of purple and green he wore was clashing with the lumberjack red plaid jacket. And then there were the khaki green cargo shorts. He turned and settled his ominous gaze on Bickslow, his voice gruff. “We banned that word.”

“Only because I said that you looked like you’d be able to feed a boatload of ba–”

Freed combined an angry sigh and a self-pitying groan as he clapped his hand over Bickslow’s stupid mouth, trying to stop his teammate from immolation. His conscience knew he’d be rewarded for this good deed, but as Bickslow struggled to continue his ill-advised words, the trapped souls wearing wooden shells began to stir and protect their master. Pappa and Puppu pummeled Freed’s kidneys, with Peppe yanking Freed’s hair, and Poppo making strafing runs from the ceiling that barely missed the top of Freed’s head. Pippi flew into Freed’s ankles over and over.

Bickslow smirked, licking his lips as Freed gave up and released his grip over his mouth. The Seith faked a cough to cover his laughter as he watched his friend frantically wipe off all the slobber from his unlucky hands. It was so funny to watch the normally neatly coiffed and groomed man search frantically for a towel, a handkerchief, even a clean bit of shirt - and find nothing useful in the remnants of their tornado-struck hotel room.

Freed settled for wiping his offended fingers on his upper thigh and then yelped. Instead of his usual well cared for and classically styled outfit, he was wearing… corduroy. Worse, he was wearing corduroy lederhosen. The knee-high socks were a nice argyle, but the velvety rows of the short pants were now wet from spit and clumpy from whatever powder the dark lords had seen fit to douse him - and his teammates - with; Laxus, Bickslow, and even the dolls were coated with a dusting of white powder.

“I never thought you’d need to be reprimanded like Bickslow, Freed.” Laxus rubbed his head, trying to soothe the ache now making itself known from under his scar. He shook his head and fine dust flew all around the room, he inhaled a small portion of the white substance and sneezed.

Both Bickslow and Freed grabbed onto one another, expecting lightning to fry them where they stood. Nothing adverse happened.

Bickslow sniffed the air like a hound dog and grabbed at Freed’s arm where a particularly large portion of white powder was still lodged. He licked it, taking another portion as Freed displayed his disgust. Smacking his lips noisily, Bickslow leaned closer to Freed’s face. “Did we do karaoke last night?”

Laxus stopped shaking the white powder from his coiffure and odd collection of clothes that weren’t his. Trying to keep his dignity - of which he obviously did not know what he looked like - he sampled a small portion of the white powder on his forearm.

The dolls zoomed over to a giant beige sack and flew it around the room. They crashed into the ceiling fan and upended the bag, sending the rest of the contents down in a blizzard of white.

“We did!” Bickslow began to cackle, “Pour some sugar on me!” and his dolls began to chant along with him; the refrain: ‘Sugar on me! Sugar on me! Sugar on me!’

A good five minutes rolled past before the cloud of sugar settled and Freed, Bickslow and Laxus stopped coughing.

“Where the hell did we get such a big bag of icing sugar?” Laxus began to look in earnest around their room, not overly bothered by the wreckage. Crooked paintings and weird splotches of wet weren’t that unusual. It was the scattered garbage and empty food containers that were the most unsettling. Ever never allowed food to be wasted - and - she didn’t let them get cheap food. Nothing but the best for the best team was always what she said(and Laxus knew he was the absolute best indeed). While fast food was satisfying during a bout of drinking - that only happened on trips without Ever.

Brain cells finally clicking, the three men shouted, “Where’s Ever?!” with Bickslow’s dolls echoing, with more glee.

From out of the bathroom crawled a short, stocky man, wearing a designer tank top, linen trousers, flip flops, and Ever’s glasses. “Why the hell are you so loud?!”

><><><><

Ever took stock of her situation. She was somewhere up high. She was under the noon sun, and wearing some kind of discount outfit except for her shoes. Those at least were a stunning pair of crystal-studded peep-toe pumps. Partially reassured by the high style of her footwear, Ever walked to the edge of the gravel-coated rooftop. She surveyed a normal townsfolk scene. People were walking about running errands, carrying purchases - meeting, greeting others. The sun was horridly bright. At least she was wearing somebody’s sunglasses even if her regular glasses were gone.

At the edge of the building, the breeze from being up high was strong but still humid. Her dress, a long maxi dress Ever would never normally be caught dead in - it clung damply to her legs. “Why is it that I always wake up like this after a bender? Was I a freaking bird in a previous life?” Her thoughts grumbled a bit more and she considered her options as her memories from last night filtered into her consciousness. She looked down at her feet again. Nice shoes, but not her own - not her favourite pair. How had she come to wear these? She tapped her toes.

><><><><

“Chill dudes!” Random guy peered at the mages, squinting and making faces as he couldn’t focus properly. He pushed up his borrowed glasses and smiled broadly. “Better! What the hell did you give me?”

“Us, give you?” Freed looked at Bickslow and then Laxus. “We didn’t give you anything!”

“I might’ve.” Bickslow shrugged. “I’ve been known to share and share alike.” He slapped Freed’s shoulder. “Learn to relax, dude!”

A giant cloud of icing sugar came free from Freed’s clothes and all the men in the room started coughing again.

Laxus stomped over to the door, yanking it open and gesturing. “Let’s go find Ever.”

><><><><

Journeys start with the smallest step. One at a time; from the beginning, you never know if it’s going to be an epic event or a prosaic walk in the park. And it’s always the smuggest of people who point out that it’s the trip together, not the final destination that makes it worthwhile. Smug, smug bastards.

><><><><><The Day Before><><><><><

Another job was put to rest and the Raijinshuu were celebrating back home in Magnolia, enjoying the imagined adulation of the rest of their guild. Ever took out her compact and checked out her flawless appearance one more time. Freed toyed with his drink, taking a small sip, enjoying the tang of bitters. Laxus breathed deep, drawing in a lungful of smoke from his cigar and blowing out a large floating circle. Bickslow tipped his head back and downed his third or fourth tankard of beer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Disgraceful.” Ever snapped.

“Slovenly.” Freed agreed.

“Ease up,” growled Laxus. “Can’t we have one peaceful celebration?”

“Yeah. Stop being so snooty.” Bickslow raised his arm and signaled Mirajane for a refill, flipping the woman a coin. “Can’t a guy just enjoy being a guy?”

“More like a pig enjoying being a pig.” Ever tossed her head, almost snapping Freed in the eye with her errant tresses. “Freed would never be as crass as you.”

“Yeah, so?” Bickslow rolled his eyes and snorted. “Freed isn’t your typical guy. He’s not even what I’d consider a guy.” His voice turned scathing, very out of character for the customarily laid-back seith, “He’s,” he drawled the next thing he said, “alllllllllllllll kiiiiiinds of -”

Laxus’ eyes visibly sparked. “Consider what you say next very carefully.”

“What?!” Faux indignation and then a smirk was showcased on Bickslow’s face. “All I was gonna say, was Freed’s all kinds of a gentleman! Ain’t nobody as rigid and upright as Mr. Justine.”

“Thank you.” Freed sighed and shook his head. “I know this comes from a good place in your heart, and you’re doing the best you can with relating to actual live humans.” He held up a hand to forestall Evergreen’s sure-to-be impulsive retort against the perceived slur on himself. “I am considerably humbled you consider me to be a true gentleman.”

“He said you were rigid and uptight!” Evergreen snapped, disdain dripping from her voice. “He’s loose and low-down!”

“Upright.” Laxus blew a long stream of cigar smoke out of the corner of his mouth. “He said upright and he’s jerking you around like always, Ever. Bickslow enjoys pushing your buttons.”

“Somebody’s gotta mess with Ever.”

“Just ignore him.” Freed patted Evergreen’s well-manicured hand, stilling her twitching fingers with a good amount of pressure. “He’s always been a rabble-rouser and will always be such.”

“Thanks for the compliment!”

“You’re incorrigible!” Ever sneered, yanking her hand that was now a fist from under Freed’s grip, shaking it at Bickslow’s smug face. “Why do you have to be so impossible?”

“I’m quite sure I don’t know what you are getting at, my dear.” Bickslow affected a posh accent. “Quite sure.”

“How about I get you another drink?” Laxus stubbed out his cigar and rose to his feet. “You’ll feel better with a fifth of your favourite poison inside of you.”

“I will have nightmares about your chosen words. Nobody desires to think of anything residing within Ever’s body.” Bickslow shuddered. “Nightmares for myself, I declare!”

“Shut. Your. Rotten. Mouth.” Freed pounded his fist on the table. “You are picking up the wrong end of his words on purpose and we all know it!”

“I don’t ever want you to think of me and my body!” Ever glared, furious. “Ever. You are forbidden, do you hear me? Forbidden from ever, and I mean, ever -”

“Nobody would dare disrespect you, you know that, right?” Freed pushed back the urge to punch Bickslow in the eye - after all, there might be a chance to give him an accidental clout during the next fight their Thunder Tribe enjoyed. “Bickslow is merely exercising his natural joie de vivre, his urge to spout silliness, his -”

“Well, I do enjoy exercising my joie de vivre, but I never expected you to bring that up in polite company!” Bickslow rose from his seat and gestured crudely at his nether regions, his arms flinging backward after, smacking the returning Laxus who held the new drink which was vital to restoring Ever’s good graces.

In slow motion, the alcoholic elixir fell out of Laxus’ hands, spraying a veritable fountain of liquid into the air and over the whole of the Rajinshuu tribe, but mostly culminating in a very wet and very distressed Evergreen.

“My hair! My dress! My shoes!” Ever’s voice gained an octave with every syllable. “My god! I’ll murder you, Bickslow!”

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” All of Bickslow’s babies flew overhead and chanted in an eerie sing-song, giddy with sheer joy for spreading trouble. “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

“Me? Laxus dropped your drink!” Bickslow held his hand over his heart and did his best impression of a wounded fawn. “I would never stop you from getting drunk, I prefer you wasted.”

“Fine! I’ll murder you and him both!”

“That makes no sense!” Freed brushed the fragrant drink from his scarlet suit lapels. “Laxus only dropped the drink because Bickslow hit him.”

“What kind of dragonslayer can’t dodge a little ole seith? Seems to me that if he really cared about your well-being, Laxus would’ve brought you a gallon of booze, not just a teeny tiny drink.”

“A triple isn’t tiny,” Laxus grumbled to himself, “and it was expensive.”

“Quality, not quantity. Just because you drink beer by the gallon -” Freed’s indignation was cut off by the sheer impudence of Ever snapping her fan into his face.

Ever glared at all of her teammates. “I’m mad at everybody.” She stomped her foot, splashing herself with more booze and that made her more upset.

“Why are you mad at me? I merely pointed out Bickslow is the main perpetrator.” Freed grabbed Ever’s fan. “Quit it.”

“It was an accident!” Laxus couldn’t help the subtle whine in his voice, “I’m exhausted.”

“These are my best shoes and now they’re ruined!”

“So? They’re just shoes, why you gotta rage over something you can buy more of?” Bickslow snickered, “Rage-a-holic.”

“Shoes are life!” Both Ever and Freed shouted.

Laxus groaned. If they weren’t careful, all of the jewels they’d just earned would go to waste. His teammates had that look - the one he’d seen too many times; the look that said, ‘One more teeny tiny thing is going to set off a bomb.’

“Shoes, schmooze!” Bickslow giggled. “So angry raging about shoes!”

Always and ever connected to their master, the flying tiki dolls repeated Bickslow as best they could. “Raging shoes! Raging shoes! Raging Shoes!”

And thus the fuse was lit; what minutes ago had been a celebrating, happy, and pleasant team became an angry mob of screaming, hair-pulling, and unsportsmanlike ankle-biting hellions.

“I’ll show you rage over my shoes!” Ever yanked her fan free of Freed’s grasp, only somewhat accidentally hitting Laxus in the gut before slamming it over Bickslow’s helmeted melon, repeatedly as the poor seith was held in place by an equally irate Freed.

“My boots are soaked too!” Freed elbowed Bickslow. “Respect the footwear!”

Laxus rubbed his stomach, sighed, and reached over towards Bickslow, intending to pull him out of the fray. “That’s enough!”

Bickslow’s brood of dolls continued to chant, diving and swooping over the Rajinshuu tribe until Peppe struck Laxus’ hand a glancing blow. This was followed by Poppo and copied by Puppu, each knocking the same spot, aggravating the bruise Laxus had sustained during their mission. Pappa and Pippi flew down to hover over the table - closer to the new tankard of beer that had been sitting unnoticed through the argument. Mirajane, being no dummy, had set it down fast and returned to her vantage point to observe from behind the bar.

“You owe me new shoes!” Evergreen whacked Bickslow again. “My hair is ruined too!”

Bickslow asked, “Do you want shoes or a new wig?” He hunched his shoulders, doing his best to evade the now powerful pummeling blows of Ever’s fan.

“My hair is not a wig! How dare you!” Ever shrieked, “And these shoes are one of a kind! They’re special!”

“Must you rage over your shoes?” Bickslow snickered, “Raging shoes!”

Freed, who hadn’t shown suicidal tendencies before, started laughing. “He’s got you Ever, raging shoes suits you.”

Quick as a mongoose Ever turned on Freed. “You have an abnormal love of footwear too!”

Taking offense to how poorly their master was being treated, Pappa and Pippi hoisted the very large mug of beer, flying overtop the lawless melee.

“Ouch! Dammit! You’re nuts!” Bickslow tried to twist out of Freed’s grip, stepping backward and maybe stepping viciously on the man’s foot. “So much rage about shoes!”

Completely furious, Ever dove at Bickslow, knocking him and Freed over - and tripping Laxus who was on the bottom of the thrashing pile.

“Oh shit.” Mirajane couldn’t help herself but watch avidly as the perfect storm came to a head. The cute and devilish dolls were pouring the beer over the fighting group of mages. “Gramps is going to be pissed.”

“Oi!” Wakaba could ignore most things when he had better things to concern himself with - like a full beer for example, but he’d finished his drink, and his cards were quite crap, to be frank. “Keep it down!” He turned around to glare at the four-alarm circus behind him and his gambling cohorts.

Macao rolled his eyes and sighed. “Never mind what the Rajinshuu are doing, do you wanna get whammied with a lightning strike? Do you ante up or fold?”

Gildarts grunted and ducked as a single black boot came sailing over their table as they were trying to play a semi-friendly game of poker. “This is getting ridiculous.”

Cana was of two minds; on one hand, she hadn’t enjoyed a pub brawl in months, and on the other hand, her actual hand of cards was deplorable - and since Wakaba had no control over his tells, she knew his cards were just as terrible.

Max leaned against Laki and took hold of her hand. “You’re special to me, and I wanted to ask you-” A long purple coat with fuzzy bits trimmed all up and down itself sailed to land over the couple. “Ack!”

Reedus was pretty happy with himself. He’d just landed a very considerable commission to paint a series of portraits for an ungodly rich idiot, um, no, patron. Tonight was the perfect time to celebrate with food and several beverages. He smiled at his waitress as she set down his drink and platter of deep-fried goodness. “Thanks, Lisanna.” Reedus took a long satisfying gulp. He then picked up a chicken wing, inhaled how delicious it smelled, and closed his eyes, preparing to enjoy the fruits of his labour. A black leather boot (Freed’s) sailed high into the air and then arced down to bash poor Reedus in the back of the head, mashing his face into the very hot chicken he was attempting to eat, smearing lots of sauce over his face and scattering most of his food onto the table and floor. “ARGH! Blargh! Ugh!”

Erza raised her shot glass, clinking it against Lucy’s, Levy’s, and several others, high in the air. “Cheers!” It had been over a month of sobriety and tonight was party night. Normally she was the voice of reason and kept things from getting out of hand, but even she needed chances to blow off steam.

Gray elbowed Natsu and jerked his head over to where the Rajinshuu were uncustomarily creating a disturbance. “Looks like they’re trying to start something.”

Natsu looked over and back to his group of Nakama. “Anything they can do, we can do better.”

Evergreen’s ornate hand fan came whirling at lightspeed toward Erza and her friends, bonking Natsu upside the head, smacking Gray under his eye, and coming to rest in front of Erza.

“Shenanigans!” Erza gave a war-whoop, scooped up the fan, and used it to point at the scuffling Lightning tribe. “Vengeance shall be ours!” She lept to her feet and pulled Levy with her free hand. “Charge!”

“Gramps is gonna have kittens,” Mirajane shifted into her Helphas form. The whole guild was fighting - and logic dictated, why fight’em when you can join’em? She grinned and giggled to herself. They’d just have to find another insurance company.

Several things happened at once - Erza smacked the broad shoulders of Laxus with the fan, Reedus removed the remains of his feast from his face and took hold of the boot, Laki and Max disentangled themselves from Laxus’ purple coat, and Cana held the other troublesome boot.

Like electrons caught in a magnetic field, the Fairy Tail guild bar patrons truly had no choice - it was time to cause shenanigans.

Reedus was still a bit befuddled from the massive clout of the boot that seconds ago had been a missile - but it was pretty darn apparent to him that it was the Rajinshuu who’d ruined his celebration. The boot he held was immaculately clean and well-maintained, it had to belong to Freed.

Laki and Max looked at each other, looked at the coat, and over to the scuffling mages in the center of the bar.

“I’m gonna start zapping any minute!” Laxus thrashed ineffectually on the bottom of the pile. “Don’t think I won’t! Why the hell did you take my coat?! You are all gonna fry!”

Needing to make a big gesture, Max said to Laki, “Are you okay? I’m going to tell the Rajinshuu how rude they’re being!”

He took the coat and ran over to the scuffling mages - and Erza and Levy who were also tussling. Erza lost her tug of war with Ever for the fan as Max arrived at the melee and so snatched the coat from Max, using it to try and suffocate Bickslow. In seconds the fray expanded to include the rest of Erza’s group.

All it took was a sly wink from Cana. Wakaba threw his cards down and shouted, “Time to teach you punks a lesson!”

“I was totally winning this card game, and now we’re gonna kick your asses!” Cana hoisted the boot. “C’mon Macao, Gildarts, let’s get’em!”

Makarov watched from the upper walkway on the third floor. He considered wading in and stopping the brawl but instead shrugged and went to have a nap in his office. He’d have to change insurance companies again, but he’d had the foresight to up the policy last week, so this time he could do a really nice remodel. And, since it was too late to stop the havoc, he might as well dream about new construction. “Damn kids!”

><><><><

Fighting is hard. It’s exhausting and painful. But oddly, sometimes it's fun, and that’s what the Thunder Tribe was having. Fun. Their private fight had expanded to catch all of their guildmates at the Fairy Tail bar. And whether or not it made sense, everybody was pushing, shoving, hair-pulling and carousing.

Laxus laughed and it proved infectious, spreading to Ever and Levy who were now playing tug of war with a boot. Ever was laughing because if Laxus was in good humour, then he’d forgive her earlier transgression of turning his shirt into stone and crushing it into pebbles. Levy had a bit more prosaic reason for her giggles - Gajeel had just gotten smacked in the face with a table. Yeah, a whole table - and the look on his face. Tee hee, priceless.

Erza let out a full-throated chuckle. Tonight was excellent! Fighting was fun, even play-fighting at the guild. “En Garde!” She waved the chicken wing liberated from Redus’ abandoned food and rushed to parry Freed’s hastily secured boot - that he’d been trying for close to ten minutes to put back on his foot. “You shall pay for interrupting my celebration!”

“Yours? I was unaware that you had sole command of the calendar.” Freed used his boot as if were a proper saber, slashing to block Erza’s poultry deflection. “We had just as great a need to party.”

“Your words sound like regret.” Erza pressed herself close to Freed and her mad eyes conveyed her conviction. “I’ll show you how to party.”

><><><><

The whole of the guild was reveling in the particular chaos that always ensued with the minimal magic use type fighting; the hair-pulling, open-handed slaps, and ridiculous insults exchanged. Every person inside the building was involved; from Happy assisting Natsu to Romeo providing backup for his dad Macao. Gildarts did his best to restrain his chaos magic, Cana did her best to consume unattended drinks as she battled various Nakama, and Mirajane did her best to observe everybody’s interactions and remember any valuable gossip.

“Take that!” Natsu delivered a weak (by his standards) slap upside Gray’s face. Earlier he’d been fighting with the ice mage - but now, now was different. A very different story. As the tide had turned - so had he. “Hope you choke!”

Gray glared, the most cutting sneer he could manage. “Hope you strike out with Lucy!”

“How dare you! Then I hope Juvia realizes what a douche you are!”

“Die, bitch!” Gray had crazy in his eyes now. It was on; there were certain things you didn’t joke about - and Natsu had crossed the line.

><><><><

Cana tossed back another unattended drink - there being many in the guild as most of her guild members were too busy playfighting each other to consume their beverages. “Laxus, why you gotta be so dumb?”

“Excuse me?” Laxus tilted his head this way and that, trying to make sense of what Cana was saying. Her conviction that he was dumb was pretty unfounded. He was the leader of the best team, and had the best powers. So he tried to think a little deeper about her words. “How am I dumb?”

“Let’s see,” Cana rolled her eyes and prepared to lie out her butt, “You’re naked from the waist up and if you flexed I’d be distracted for sure, so yeah, not that smart, are ya?” Oops. That was too close to the truth. “Um, ignore that.”

“Not gonna be able.” Laxus regained his usual superior smirk. “So you’re some kind of voyeur?”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Cana resisted the urge to run her itchy hands over those luscious pectorals. “I consider myself a connoisseur.”

“A pervert by any other name.”

Cana shrugged. The time for lying was well and truly gone. But there was always time for distractions. “Look! Over there! A flying monkey!” She pointed and Laxus turned to watch - completely unprepared for the hard shove and chair Cana smashed (as lightly and considerately as she could) over his back. “Back to the battle!” Cana laughed and sprinted off to find more drinks.

><><><><

As fast as shit fell to pieces, each group of mages fighting came to a certain level of calm. Instead of trying to beat each other senseless, they began enjoy their fisticuffs. Most importantly, they turned down the destruction of their actions into mild shenanigans.

Max and Laki had been tussling with Vjeter (not knowing exactly why) but battling with vigor because that’s how Fairy Tail was - when some sudden epiphany got them taking it easy.

Bisca had been about to smash her fist into Reedus’ guts when Alzack gave her a subtle head shake and so she instead shoved him over with merely a fifth of her power. The sudden calm washing over her mind had her questioning all her previous actions.

Erza wanted to howl her victory over her foes. But a small, tiny and nagging feeling made her reluctant. There was something wrong, but what? Oh, this wasn’t a full battle over a rival guild - this was only an altercation within the guild. Time to dial back hostilities. She bayed her opinion with a small general amount of animosity. “Repent!”

Mirajane was having the time of her life! The chaos! The smack talk between friends she’d overheard would fuel the gossip tank for weeks! The fervent fighting of her guildmates! The damage to the bar! The insurance claim was sure to be legendary. A small amount of concern befell the barmaid, and she stressed until she came up with the perfect solution. “Free drinks all around!”

><><><><><><

Mira smiled sweetly and re-filled Ever’s giant margarita fishbowl glass with draft beer. “And then what did Levy do?”

“She got smacked upside the face with one of Freed’s boots when Gajeel’s face was smashed with a table, so she used her light pen to destroy the boot.” Ever giggled. “Those were limited edition boots! Freed is gonna have kittens!” She took a sip of her drink. “Did you change recipes? I don’t taste much tequila in this.”

The bubbly barmaid echoed Ever’s giggle. “You drank all the top-shelf stuff an hour ago. Don’t worry, you love beer once you’re shit-faced, doncha?”

Evergreen nodded, very distracted by noticing Lucy’s footwear. Her head swiveled to follow the blonde on her way to the restroom. “Those are so nice!”

Always happy to talk shopping, Lucy paused once she recognized the admiration. That was not the usual attention she garnered from Ever. “They were on sale!” She felt a pang from her bladder and quick-stepped on her way, but over her shoulder, she offered, “From Stedman’s on Maple Street!”

“Bickslow, Freed, and Laxus owe me shoes. Idiots ruined my heels.” Ever pouted mutinously. “I spent an ungodly amount of jewels on these -” she hoisted her foot onto the top of the bar, knocking over only three drinks to do so. “And now they’re ruined. Ruined!” Her voice cracked. She took another deep sip of her drink (fully half), burped, and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. “I need to go to Stedman’s. I can’t go around without impecc-, imppec, bad bootwear, no.” She triumphantly said, “Footwear!”

“Yes.” Mirajane nodded, unwilling to stop the trainwreck Ever was now captaining. “You should totes go and get new shoes!”

“I do owe you.” Bickslow agreed graciously. “Let’s go now! And we can get a new shirt for Laxus!”

Freed, who’d been lamenting his own ruined clothes sat up straight on his barstool. “Who’s replacing my poor boots?”

Laxus, always the bestest of friends, laughed. “You were gonna replace your old ones anyway. Just buy new and don’t cry.”

“Don’t cry! Don’t cry! Don’t cry!” chanted Bickslow’s babies.

“We gotta go now!” Ever pounded her fist on the bar and tossed back the rest of her drink. “Onwards to the sales!” She kicked off her ruined shoes and pointed her fist to the exit. “Let’s go!”

Mira watched the Lighting tribe stagger to their feet and follow the ultra inebriated Fairy Queen. To Lisanna she said, sotto voce. “Bet you tomorrow they don’t even remember tonight.”

Lisanna flat-out laughed. “As if I’d take that fool’s bet. We all know what they’re like.”

“Tee hee!” A sudden thought occurred to Mira. “D’you know of any new insurance companies?”

><><><><><

Ever pounded her fist on the storefront door. “I need shoes!”

Bickslow’s babies whirled around Bickslow’s head. Their anticipation was almost palpable. For once the harbinger of calm, Bickslow curtailed them - and their incipient chanting of ‘raging shoes’ was halted. Instead, the normally confrontational mage smirked. “We all need shoes and new clothes!”

Laxus made eye contact with the poor worker who was sidling toward the door with the intention to lock it. All he had to do was sneer and the man visibly gulped and gave up, instead, opening the door wide. “Welcome to Stedman’s.” Sotto voce to his coworker he complained, “I wanted to get done work early.”

The Rajinshu tribe sauntered inside and surveyed the small but elegantly appointed shop. Ever and Freed made a bee-line for the shoes, Laxus got distracted by the display of shirts, and Bickslow, ever the opportunist, made friends with the worker who’d done his best to lock them out of the store. “So, d’you know of any after-hours party bars?”

><><><><

Strutting like rock stars, the Lightning tribe exited Stedman’s. Ever wore her new shoes and dress like they were straight off the runway in the best of fashion magazines. The maxi dress was maybe not what she’d normally wear - but she was lit - and drunk Ever did happen to agree with any salesperson who told her she looked fabulous. Who wouldn’t? The peep-toe pumps were delightful. Laxus wore his new lumberjack shirt with pride and Freed practically preened in his new lederhosen. Bickslow wore an ensemble close to his old clothes - and kept snickering to his new bestest friend, Lloyd - who happened to know of an excellent after-hours bar that was actually his own home.

><><><><><><

After draining the very impressive bar that Lloyd had amassed, the new friends staggered from Lloyd’s house. They headed to the hotel room. The group had made a tradition of taking the first night back after a mission at a motel. It was more fun. Even though they spent a bunch of time together working, the lightning tribe did love relaxing with each other. No matter how much they might annoy each other at the same time.

“Is that a karaoke bar?” Lloyd pointed to a neon-lit sign. “I totes need to sing!”

“I’m the best.” Ever giggled.

Laxus grunted. He had a pretty good buzz on - and with at least one more drink he’d be able to live through anything Ever wanted to sing.

“Not as good as me.” Freed insisted. He was a little confused as to why the guy working at Stedman’s was still with them, but he was happy enough to keep drinking.

“Yaaaassssss!” Bickslow was thrilled. He hadn’t made mischief in almost twenty minutes so he was itching inside his skin. “I know the perfect song!”

><><><><

The band of super drunk mages and one merchandiser staggered out of the karaoke bar. Lloyd was willing to bet he’d never top this experience - ever. He shuddered. That girl, Ever, Evergreen - oh, his poor ears… The dude with green hair was a great singer, and the blond guy with attitude was decent. But Ever, oh, her off-key singing made his ears want to vomit. At least Bickslow knew how to party.

Lloyd grinned at his new best friend Bickslow. That guy knew all the ins and outs of people like he knew their secret souls or something! He’d been able to jolly each person along and get them to do everything he wanted and all without the group figuring out they were being played. Lloyd had seen terrible customers at his job all the time, and a few decent people, but Bickslow was a force to be reckoned!

The burly blond guy hadn’t wanted to sing at all, and in fact had been a bit of a grumpy pants. But all Bickslow had to do was infer that great leaders always sang the first song - and then he’d acted like it was his own idea to sing. Bickslow told the guy with green hair, oh yeah, Freed - he’d bet good money he couldn’t hit all the high notes. And then Freed was giving the performance of a lifetime. Too bad that woman Ever couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. At least she having fun, you could tell by the less mean looking smile she wore. As a stroke of genius, Bickslow had set his weird flying dolls to sing harmony for her. Then, got them to sing louder and louder, drowning some of her terrible off-key singing.

Ever tripped on an uneven piece of the pavement…maybe. Or perhaps she was drunk and unsteady on her feet. “No! Not my new shoes!” She grabbed at Freed’s shoulder and used him to balance. “Don’t move!” Ever wobbled as she bent over to peer with major concern at her footwear. “You guys move too fast.”

“Nah, you’re too slow.” Bickslow snickered.

Ever glared at Bickslow and then Laxus. She opened her mouth to complain.

Laxus winced and before Ever could get any words out, he spoke. “Enough. We’re calling it a night. Everybody plays nice or else.”

Freed stopped trying to force Evergreen’s fingers to let go, shoulders slumping in defeat instead. “Yes, of course.”

Bickslow smiled angelically as his babies sang and flew around Ever’s head. “Play nice! Play nice! Play nice!”

Lloyd couldn’t help himself. He looked at Bickslow’s unholy glee and then at Ever’s furious anger, at Freed’s subservience and Laxus’s bossy face. He laughed, he chuckled, he guffawed - so long, loud and hearty - he ended up wheezing, rolling around on the sidewalk.

“I don’t have to put up with this!” huffed Evergreen, her eyes turning squinty. She pouted. “I’m outta here!”

“Don’t go away mad, just go away!” Lloyd wanted to blame Bickslow as the bad influence behind those snarky words - but he’d always wanted to say that to somebody - and right now was the only time he could without being fired. You only live once, yeah? Oh shit, Ever looked a bit shocked. Had he been too mean? “Wait a minute!” Not even really knowing what he was doing, Lloyd rushed over to Ever’s side and stopped her from leaving. “Sorry, dunno what got into me. Let’s be friends.”

Ever crossed her arms and gave Lloyd a long considering look. “Then we gotta exchange presents.”

“Take my shades.”

“And here’s mine.”

Lloyd did not notice the rest of the gang flinching at this - but disaster was averted as Ever promptly used the sunglasses.

Ever preened at her reflection in the nearby storefront. “I’m still leaving. You guys deserve each other. Ta!”

“You heard the woman, let’s go.” Bickslow took one of Freed’s arms and one of Lloyd’s. “I need my beauty sleep.”

Laxus looked happy he hadn’t been manhandled. “Yeah, you do.”

><><><><><

“Shhh! Be quiet!” Freed admonished the empty bottles and the one bottle they were still busy emptying.

“Dude, it’s weird that you’re talking to inanimate objects.” Bickslow objected, “Stop it, willya?”

Lloyd giggled, playing more with the mostly empty sack of powdered sugar they’d stolen as the group had walked from the karaoke bar.

Laxus didn’t say anything, mostly because he was already passed out. He had a large capacity for drinking. But he had been powering through his drinks fast all night. And overproof booze drunk straight up will wreck a person - especially when Bickslow makes your drinks double strength.

Everyone fell asleep, or passed out as in the case for Laxus.

><><><><

Ever was pleasantly drunk. Fully drunk. Okay, shit-faced. She loved everything right now. Everything. Tonight had been so much fun! A new friend, new glasses, new shoes and a kick-ass dress! Shopping was amazing. She should go back to Stedman’s soon. Evergreen stumbled off down the road, her subconscious moving her feet, taking over her route, heading to her favourite night view of Magnolia, to the top of the highest tower. Ever watched the twinkling lights and finished her night by drinking the last of the stash of drink in her purse.

><><><><Ungodly Early in the Morning - well, even Noon is early after a night of drinking, yeah?><><><><><

Ever felt wretched - but not so terrible she couldn’t muster up her control over her magic to summon her wings and fly down from her perch at the top of Magnolia. She figured she’d slowly wander over to the motel and meet up with her team. Again, she lamented her supposed previous life as a bird - why else would she always end up sleeping high atop the tallest building and towers? But such was life - working jobs, relaxing after jobs, drinking and waking up in odd places.

><><><><

Laxus exited the motel, his gaggle of friends and the extra person, whoever he was, trailing behind. He knew all of Ever’s favourite haunts. Each and every one of them, but his nose was the best at detecting her location. He carefully slapped his clothes free of excess icing sugar and then inhaled deeply. Ah! To the north.

Lloyd followed Bickslow and Freed at a bit of a distance. He should probably go home soon - but this was the most interesting night-slash-day party-afterparty event he’d ever stumbled into. EVER. Who knew what else might happen? Certainly not him.

“Yo!” Bickslow sighted Ever who was plodding towards them. “You look great.” He made sure to smile wide and gesture two thumbs up. "You. Look. Fabulous.”

Lloyd ran over to Ever and greeted her like a long lost friend. “Long time no see!”

Ever vaguely remembered this guy from last night. But where? Oh, shopping. Stedman’s! She allowed the man to hug her - afterall, she could use his employee discount to buy more shoes. “Hi, um…”

Helpfully he answered, “I'm Lloyd, your new bestie.”

Ever made noncommittal agreement noises and looked at her teammates one by one. They all wore rumpled and unusual clothing. She couldn’t contain herself any longer. “Laxus, what’s up with your clothes?”

Laxus fiddled with the lapels of his red lumberjack jacket, then rubbed his poor throbbing forehead. “The usual.” He glanced at Bickslow and sighed. “We celebrated after a job, wrecked the guild and went afterhours partying.”

Lloyd added, “And found your new bestie.”

Bickslow’s dolls chanted, “New bestie! New bestie! New bestie!” flying large circles overhead.

“That’s…great.” Ever’s stomach growled. “Let’s get coffee and food.”

“Excellent idea.” Freed already looked much happier. “Just what we need.”

“Oh! Hair of the dog!” Bickslow pointed to a nearby tavern. “Let’s have breakfast mimosas!”

Laxus grimaced. “Never again.”

Freed had full-body shivers of revulsion. “Never again!”

Ever repeated herself. “Coffee and food! No booze!”

Bickslow ignored his team’s negativity and opened the door to the tavern to usher them inside. “Let’s just see where the day takes us.” He grinned as they all trooped inside and sat at a table together. Bickslow pulled out a chair for Lloyd to sit, and confided to the man, “They always say ‘never again’ but it’s always again and again.”

Lloyd nodded. “Yup! Never again until the next time!”

Pappa, Pippi, Puppu, Peppe and Poppo agreed. “Next time! Next time! Next time!”

#ftrbb2022 #raging shoes #nalufever #fan fic #The Thunder Legion #comedy #laxus #freed #bickslow #evergreen #rajinshuu

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