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#navi Would say fuk
toestalucia · 2 years
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navi is so rude its ssoooooo funny
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Don't fuk with me kid, My dad is a navy steel .
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
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br0adwa5 · 7 years
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deh apartment hcs
so i was just scrolling thru Tumblr Dot Com™ and I saw a post that said “does anyone else ever daydream of decorating their first apartment?” (if anyone knows who made that lmk) but anyway i saw that and was like omg if that ain’t alana and then i was like wAIT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THEM so here’s this. fyi this is like a college au type thing ish??
(im sotired this is kinda shitty lol)
(also thank u so much for the luv on my last two hcs? i cr ied? les get to the point sorry)
alana:
ok so this girl would obviously have the neatest apartment ever
it would probably be like a medium size ya know
white walls.
lots of white walls.
and there would be like really pretty marble countertops 
her beadspread (or whateverthefuck u call it) would probably be like grey with white little lines on it
in a pattern tho
like a cute pottery barn one
OH
she would so freaking use evan’s discount at pottery barn are u kidding me
like her entire house would look like a pottery barn catalog
anyway
idk if all apartments have this so excuse me if i sound mega stupif 
but she would use the little intercom-buzzer thing to get into the apartment to her full advantage
like if u wanted to even go up there she would legit do a full on background check
(except for zoe)
(zoe would be like “hey alana it’s-” and alana would be like “yOU CAN COME RIGHT UP”
but it would be like 
“hello who is this?”
“alana you know it’s jared. i just texted you.”
“… ok then what’s your middle name”
“aLANA”
but anyway back to what inspired this in the first place
so alana would SO plan her apartment out from when she was like young enough to understand it ya get it
like she would pick out furniture at age six
(her taste would obviously change as she got older but u get it)
and she would literally have it down to the p a i n t color
like she would walk into home depot or whatever and the worker would expect her to look around for like 40 minutes but she’d be like
“hi hello i’ll take seashell grey in the gloss finish please. make it quick.”
(i totally just made that up what the hell is a gloss finish never heard of her)
i also picture her having lots of house plants? like most of them would be fake bc she’s too busy to keep them alive but they wouldn’t look fake
yeah alana’s apartmetnt would be so put together and like clean cut and nice
zoe:
her apartment would be rad okay
i feel like it would be v hipster and cool
not like Hipster™ but like… hipster?
what am i even saying
okay
so she would definetley have a room with yellow walls
like her rooms would be painted cool colors and stuff
but yellow specifically
she just seems like a yellow person
she would have a big wall that’s all chalkboard paint
wait now im really excited about this wall oh my god
like when everyone would go over her house they would all take a chalkboard marker (real chalk makes too much of a mess) and write and draw on it
evan would do little doodles of trees and write sweet and encouraging stuff
connor would either draw a hecking masterpiece or write really small in the corner “fuk u”
there’s no in between
alana would just doodle hearts and stuff
or when she’d be over doing homework w zoe she’d try to teach her math and science and stuff on it
a w 
jared would just draw memes 
i think we can all agree on that one
but annyyywwayy
she would refuse to get anything like store bought mainstream
like she would go to little shops in the middle of nowhere
or garage sales
and get the cutest stuff 
her house would be so homey but at the same time like “wtf why is this so perfect”
l o t s of tapestries
don’t fight me on this
it wouldn’t be the regular mendala ones that a lot of people get
(but she would for sure have a few of those too)
it would be like really cool unique stuff
lots of maps of the world
tie dye
ya kniw
they would mostly be taking up all of the celing space and some wall space in her room
she would so have a polaroid camera i KNOW IT
and she would put them all on pieces of string w clothespins and string them up around her room 
all pics of her frands and stuff
awwww zoe
she’d also probably have a room just for her dog
(btw if u didn’t see my other hc i see her as having a golden retriever named kiwi)
(but anyway)
like it was supposed to be a closet sbut she just didn’t use it
so she was like “well… okay let’s do this”
and evan will spend h o u r s at a time in that room
ugh she would just have the cutest apartment v colorful and stuff
evan:
evan’s apartment would be v small
he llved with his mom the first two years of college but decided to move out because he was feeling like he made a lot of progress and was ready to live on his own (btw is it canon tht he lives w his mom first year of college? i forget lmk)
(but he wasn’t really living on his own bc connor was always over or he was at connor’s place) 
he would have a v little sitting area w a really old tv and a worn out couch that was probably free on the side of the road or cheap from a garage sale
he would have a fridge and oven and stuff but he’d mostly just use the microwave
(ho;ly shit “some people say just use a microwave…”)
(i h8 myself why why why ok moving on)
his diet would mainly consist of ramen noodles
bc he doesn’t want to leave and have to socalize with people at fast food places or the grocery store
but every once and a while zoe would come over like “evan wtf” and make him food to hold him over for a while
(uh hc that zoe’s a really good cook??/)
he would have a little bedroom with a big window in it
and his comforter would be blue with navy stripes (similar to The Shirt™ but not completley the same)
he would have lots of sticky notes everywhere
like ranging from “don’t forget to feed the dog” to “don’t worry about it, it’s probably not a big deal”
and when he was in a really good mental state he would write them and stick them in places he know he’d see when he wasn’t in the best shape
and it would encourage him to keep going
wow that’s equally heartbreaking and adorable
ok don’t fight me on this we all know it’s a thing
he would have plants. eve ry wh ere
like there wouldn’t be a single fake plant in there
but he loved them bc he felt like it made the air fresher??? like it supplied more oxygen in the room which made it easier to breathe when he was feeling anxious??
(idk i can’t really explain it but that’s how i feel when i get anxious so i feel like it would help him too)
but it would range from huge ass borderline trees to succlents the size of his thumb nail
he would have s o many succulents
he would name them all
aaaaaaaAaAAAA
and each of his friends would have a plant named after them
even though it was small he really loved his apartment
bc he worked really hard to be able to pay for it and buy the furniture and stuff
so it was like his baby
yeah that’s my boy evan handsoap!
connor:
connor’s apartment would actually be pretty big
like everything would be super super high quality and nice 
he would so have a recliner chair
you know the one i’m talking about okay
and he would spend most of his time in there
even though he def has a huge nice sectional
(btw most of his furniture is black)
when evan would come over he wouldn’t want to get up out of it
but even always wanted to cuddle
so the first time evan was like “con come over hereee”
connor just scooched over
and evan was like “??”
but just went over to him
and they were kinda squished but they loved it 
bc they were so close to eachother
AW IM SCREECHING
but yeah they would love to cuddle on the recliner
his kitchen would be p nice too
like he would have a weirdly high tech fridge and a really nice oven and stuff
but if u opened the fridge there would just be like a half dranken (that is nOT a word) bottle of mountain dew, a cheese stick, and maybe on a good day some random leftovers
(btw idk why but i see his parents buying him most of the stuff in his apartment,, this doesn’t really make sense when i think about it but i can’t not do it what am i saing now awioehfdlsnk)
his room would be nice
he would have a big bed with a black and white plaid duvet cover
omg evan would l o v e his bed
like evan of course loves his own bed but connor’s is just so comfy
(plus connor’s bed also has connor)
(anywho)
his walls would be like a greyish blue color
but his furniture would still be all black
he would have a big desk and he always kept sticky notes around for evan to doodle on if he ever got anxious
and he has an entire drawer in his dresser just for his hair ties because he has an unhealthy amount of them
at all times
partly because he wants to keep his hair up sometimes
but partly because he always wears one around his wrist to snap when he gets mad or can’t control his emotions
and he always ends up loosing them
oh also his shower in his bathroom would be BOMB like im talking it has one of those little ledge chair thingies 
and the water pressure is a plus
and evan’s shower at his apartment is like sucky so he always just showers at connors
(i mean this in the least innapropriate way possible btw jus clearing that up)
but connor would spend SO much time there
so would evan tbh
so yeh
jared:
ok guys
hear me out on this one
but i feel like jared would have a surprisingly nice apartment??
like,,, actually very nice
they would all love hanging out there when they were all together
the first time he asked them over they were like “… u sure”
they were expecting to walk into something that looked like a super crappy hotel room with garbage all over
but they walked in and were like “jared what the fuk”
because this place was nice
like,, , he would always have the most food out of all of them
(which wasn’t saying much but still)
he would have a big nice couch with lots of extra like beanbags all over
they would all have their own that they used
and his tv would be poppin okay
he would have his old wii hooked up to it
and they would constantly have mario kart tournaments
jared always insisted on being wario
for the Memes™
he would be the only one out of all of them with an amazon fire stick so they would always watch movies all together at his house
and sometimes they would just randomly take it without telling him
(i’m looking at u connor)
and he wouldn’t notice for a few days but when he did he went cRAZY
but anyway
his room would b supa cool
he would have a really nice bed
omg he would have like video game and other nerd stuff posters e v e r y w  h e r e
like everywhere
little to no wall space for anything elsee
every once in a while he would go through his camera roll and print the pictures that he liked the best to hang up on his wall
hear me out bc this is gonna sound weird
he would probably have a dead meme shrine in one of the corners of the wall on the bottom
that he started as a joke with connor and zoe once but it jst spiraled out of control until every dead meme was recognized as soon as it went out
he would have a tv in his room
not as good as his one in the living room but still
he has two tvs what even jared
that’s where he would put his xbox
and he would game all night man
ah i love jared sm
ok that’s it hope u enjoyed ahhahah
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fuk u hate>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
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last-starfighter · 7 years
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i got not-tagged by @arashi-of-ota. anarchist tagged. idk what to call it.
NAME: lorcan or rocket idc
NICKNAME: lorc, dorcan, trashcat
STAR SIGN(S): aries/water rat
HEIGHT: 5′8/172cm
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: ???boys????girls?????????????? is ‘french and could kill me’ an orientation?????  we just dont know ok
FAVOURITE COLOUR: red, black 
TIME RIGHT NOW: 2:36 am
CURRENT LOCATION: computer chair. teach me ur ways arash
AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP:  69
jk uhhhhhh tbh it depends on whos frontin when we go to bed and how much mornin culture hosts stuffed up his nose 
so 6-9
LAST THING I GOOGLED:  “ 1972 year of the rat element ”
NUMBER OF BLANKETS I SLEEP UNDER: usually just like a comforter
FAVOURITE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS:  
uhhhhhh. deadpool, capn hook, sirius black. the boss from saints row. can i say priss asagiri or will i get decked 
FAVOURITE BOOK(S): i like walter jon williams and the divergent books. basically if it got a dystopia in it ill read it.
FAVORITE ARTISTS/BANDS: against me!, rhcp, alestorm, randomass power metal mixes i find on youtube. dead kennedys. basically everything on awesome mix volume 1. 
DREAM JOB: musician or comics artist 
WHAT I’M WEARING: hosts NAVY tshirt and this bigass blanket thats like a cookie monster pelt 
RANDOM FACT: ‘yonic’ dont rhyme with sonic 
uhhhh my starter pokemon would be a litten or a totodile
DO I HAVE ANY OTHER BLOGS: i got a webcomic but it needs fixed before i wanna link it here. too preachy not enough funny 
WHEN DID MY BLOG REACH ITS PEAK: 
n e v  e r
WHO IS MY MOST ACTIVE:
prolly fran or arash? lol 
WHAT MADE ME DECIDE TO GET A TUMBLR: 
host spends way too much time on here and i wanted to have something to do while hes lookin at FOGGY LAKES and DISCOURSE
DO I GET ASKS ON A DAILY BASIS: 
i think the real question is ‘why would i want to’ 
if yr gettin tumblr asks erry day its either “YOUR PROBLEMATIC IS PROBLEMATIC” or “u want som fuk” 
and im not about that life
WHY DID I CHOOSE MY URL: k so theres this movie from the 80s called the last starfighter and its rly rly rly corny but i like it so fuck literally erry version of ‘rocket raccoon’ was taken  so i picked this instead 
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