#picks it up from vice

[toestalucia]

navi is so rude its ssoooooo funny

[unlawfulchaos]

[This is what happens when you trap Maverick on a carrier at sea for several months, in shared bunks with Merlin, Slider, and Iceman. He finds new ways to entertain himself. Namely, antagonising Slider.]

Maverick: You know what I've always wondered? How do tall people sleep at night when the blanket can't go over them right to their toes?

Slider: Maverick, it is three o'clock in the goddamn morning.

Maverick: So you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

Slider: Maverick, I swear to god if you don't shut up I'm gonna-

Maverick: Sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you through the blanket covering me completely.

Slider: I hope you die.

Maverick: Yeah? Well, I hope you step on legos.

Slider: Take it back. TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW.

Maverick: Barefoot.

[skitskatdacat63]

Roleswap anyone??

Tell me Fernando wouldn't make a fantastic general/emperor, and that Napoleon wouldn't make a fanastic driver/tp!!

[fideidefenswhore]

reading alison weir's new novel; she's adapted and altered the primary source material she's clearly using in a way that is...um. something?

[yodeleyewho]

dumbass 😭

[chiropterx]

Honestly, Man-Bat would be such a horrifying creature to stumble across in Gotham? At 8'6, he is HUGE, strong enough to carry off a man in his claws while barely slowing down. He might lack the same intelligence he had as Kirk Langstrom but Man-Bat still has keen problem-solving intellect such as picking up an entire wooden desk and throwing it at Batman to hold him in place long enough for an easy bite to the throat. It's that uncanny area between what was once human vs. a hyperpredator making Man-Bat one of the most dangerous creatures to cross whether he's simply hungry enough or has developed a grudge against you for some reason. You can't outrun him and there aren't many places you can hide because not only can he fly, he's able to squeeze into places you yourself would be able to fit into.

[nanamimizz]

thoughts about toji 🎤 what kind of bf/spouse do you think he'd be like?

toji is lame to me….hes kinda awkward at being loving but he’s actually quite doting when hes around you. does small acts of service that build up over time. if you ask him how toji getting up from the sofa so you can sweep lead to him picking it up with one hand so you can get underneath it he wouldn’t know what to tell you. he can’t really say he loves you - the word is still to heavy from the grief but he shows it a lot. pats your head and ties up your hair for you. makes you tea when you sound a little strained. skips betting on boats or horses and goes to the store to buy you the bodywash you like but are running out of

[gemkun]

the fact his remark probably stems from an inward reprimand of his own actually destroys me

[stormyoceans]

it's severely missing vice versa hours (as always) so, let's go with your top picks for puen's best looks?

CASSI I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU FOR ASKING ME THIS BUT ALSO THAT YOU MADE ME GO THROUGH 15 DIFFERENT LIFE CRISIS AND DEVELOP 8 NEW MENTAL ILLNESSES IN THE SPAN OF 3 DAYS TRYING TO ANSWER THIS. also im ONLY NOW realizing, as im posting this, that you didn’t actually ask me my top 10, but just my TOP. FULL STOP. so i could have picked 3 or 5 and reply way sooner……… maybe it’s me. i am the problem. IM SO SORRY BUT STILL. HERE WE GO

1. the wedding outfit in episode 4. I LOVE WHEN PUEN WEARS ANY KIND OF SHADE FROM PINK TO RED SO THIS IS LITERALLY MY DREAM OUTFIT FOR HIM. he looks positively radiant in it and idk if you can see it, but when i was taking that full body screenshot i realized that the white pants are slightly see-through and i think i momentarily blacked out for a minute or 10 or 10000. ALSO DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WISH HE COULD WEAR THIS FOR HIS OWN WEDDING WITH TALAY IT’S LITERALLY PERFECT CAN THEY JUST RECREAT IT INTO THEIR UNIVERSE TOO IM BEGGING.

2. the interview look in episode 12. I ACTUALLY CAN'T WRITE DOWN HALF OF THE THINGS IM THINKING ABOUT THIS BECAUSE THERE ARE MINORS ON THIS SITE so im just gonna say that the all black suit + the styled hair was a truly inspired combination and it's unfair that talay didn't get to witness all of this in person.

3. the suspenders look in episode 1. I SIMPLY THINK THAT [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] THOSE HIPS DON'T LIE.

4. the ombre(?) jacket outfit in episode 12. puen really showed up in front of god and the cameras to announce his undying love for talay wearing the skinniest pair of jeans known to man then powerwalked to talay’s house to win his mom over and i simply think that’s very sexy of him. also making puen wear blue, which is talay’s color, during this scene was such a big brain move, though the real pièce de résistance, the jewel in the crown, the cherry on top of an already delicious cake is THAT JACKET. the costume designer of the show truly said ‘if he’s not ouselling outserving outslaying while getting his man then i ain’t doing my job right’ and by god they delivered. 

5. the first glasshouse outfit in episode 4. this is my favorite kind of casual wear for puen: dark jacket, dark jeans, neutral boots, and the shirt giving a pop of color to the entire outfit, especially if that color is red. he looks SOOOOO GOOD in red. at one point puen also drives tun’s bike in this outfit and when they get to the glasshouse there’s a brief moment where you can see he’s about to take off his gloves which im pretty sure awakened something in me because i’ve been feeling unwell ever since (screenshot not included for the faint of heart and to preserve my sanity) [mostly for my sanity]  

6. the beach outfit in episode 9. LISTEN i know it's a very simple look, but i LOVE when puen wears button-up shirts with nothing else underneath. it's also giving so much mr darcy walking through the moors with his tits out to go tell elizabeth that she bewitched him body and soul and that he loves he loves he loves her and wishes from this day forth never to be parted from her in the 2005 pride and prejudice movie adaptation. LIKE SORRY BUT I LITERALLY SEE NO DIFFERENCE.

7. the marriage proposal suit in episode 12. SOMETHING SOMETHING THE WAY PUEN’S COLOR PALETTE IS MADE OUT OF A LOT OF DARK NEUTRALS BUT THEY DECIDED TO DRESS HIM ENTIRELY IN LIGHT ONES WHEN HE PROPOSES TO TALAY. i’d say im reading too much into it except NOTHING IS CASUAL IN THIS SHOW. also his tiddies look great in that white undershirt and i just really like this suit, which is kinda surprising considering that i do prefer him in darker shades.

8. the “pink theory” outfit in episode 10. OF COURSE i had to include one of the iconic sleeveless shirt looks and OF COURSE i had to go with the pink one. he wears quite a few in the alternate universe and i was very torn between this and the black one in the glasshouse at the end of episode 4, but in the end i just love him in this salmon color way too much and………………….. [loses tracks of what she’s saying because ARMS]

9. the “tonight let’s go head over heels for each other” outfit in episode 12. you know how some people end up letting themselves go after entering a relationship? yeah, that’s not puen. you’d think he would chill out a little after finally getting with talay but NO!!!!! HE SAID TITS OUT FOR THE BOYFRIEND ALWAYS!!!!! TITS OUT FOR THE BOYFRIEND NOW MORE THAN EVER!!!!! and you know what? i respect his horny ass so much for it.

10. the bathroom outfit (bucket hat on exclusively) in episode 1. ranked at the bottom because im actually not too fond of that jacket and it probably wouldn't have made it in my top 10 by itself HOWEVER!!!!! this outfit without the bucket hat? simply a lesser version of the interview suit in episode 12. this outfit WITH the bucket hat? BRILLIANT INCREDIBLE AMAZING SHOWSTOPPING SPECTACULAR NEVER THE SAME TOTALLY UNIQUE COMPLETELY NOT EVER DONE BEFORE. honestly no one should be able to look that good wearing a bucket hat THAT'S SIMPLY TOO MUCH POWER.

[gribblehusband]

Hiiii it's the person on AO3 who sent you this long message on how much I love your fic and the characterization.

The moment I saw your message and that it's okay to ask about your sister fic I had to immediately go to your blog and ask!

Ramble as much as you want I don't mind, I love reading about people's passion projects and things that make them happy/give them some sort of enjoyment :))!

OMG HI! you have no idea how excited i am to talk about this most of my ideas come from music, i have a massive dotf playlist and will inevitably have a playlist for this fic too. but i was listening to my liked playlist on shuffle and was hit with VISIONS. the plot goes:

you were born a genius. thats what everyone has said and thats what you believe. you graduated high school early and college came and went not long after. science was your passion, though you never forgot your roots. those rainy days with your grandmother as she encouraged you and your inquisitive mind with baked goods and as much love as she could muster. so when your grandmother asked you to join her on a top secret project, you agreed easily. while the subject may not be of interest to you - and quite honestly, you believe her goal to be impossible, if what she wanted to be done worked, it would prove the existence of the soul, a concept you are dubious even exists - you miss her dearly. this is an opportunity to reconnect with her. that is, until the machine works and you are faced with consequences you never thought possible.

the man is kept in the lower levels. he doesnt fight, he doesnt even attempt to escape. the only thing he says to you was that he should be dead, and you can’t help but feel as though you have done him a great disservice by bringing him here. whether the man is broken by you or what happened before you brought him here, you’re not sure. there’s not much you can do for him now. even still, everyday you go down to where he is kept and practice your violin outside his cell. after all, your grandmother always says that music is a balm for the soul.

basically tfw hamet is your grandma and you body snatch a cybertronian, accidentally proving the existence of souls and body swapping in the process, which you dont even want to think about right now, and feel really bad about it. its kind of a prequel but then goes along into the timeline of dotf. its gonna be called balm for the soul! the love interests will be tarn, helex, and tesarus.

[creatureshrieks]

sorry my final girls are on my mind because it's the trope of all time. it's being a victim of a fate you do not deserve, that you have done nothing to deserve, that by simply being you you are someone that the world wants to suffer, it wants to see you die. it wants to take everything from you because it knows it can. you will be tortured, you will lose so, so much, and you will persist. because you have to. it's becoming someone corrupted, the hero of the story but never making it out unscathed. it's carrying scars, it's carrying the trauma, it's looking at the worst darkness and knowing it has looked back. it's carrying it with you, feeling it cling to you and refusing to let you go. To be transformed by forces you can not control. To lose yourself to save yourself. It is embodying parts of the monster you want to kill. It's knowing that you will always be connected, no matter how far you run. You do not end a story the way you started.

And you will ever be the same again.

[sanstropfremir]

tagged by @moonflowerglowing 💖

last song: pluto by xdinary heroes

last movie: reptile. great benicio del toro performance, terrible justin timberlake performance, never thought i'd put those two together in a sentence

currently reading: age of vice by deepti kapoor. technically i finished it last week, but it's literally been living rent free in my head. fantastic novel if you like crime thrillers about corruption and class divides

currently watching: the fall of the house of usher. it's not bad; it's a fun watch and one of the more interesting poe adaptations imo, but i do think it's a bit bloated. and also maybe not as well suited to being a tv series. if you cut the fat i think it would make a ripping play

current obsession: my smoked salmon chowder bc it's finally soup season baby! and looking at sashiko patterns. i'm planning to build a quilted vest for work and i'm collecting ideas

tagging @sonsband @sapphicshawol @pumpkunspiced @kafffeesatz

[horizonandstar]

It would b very cool if reader found a way to make a device that can help detect the right tones in sun and moons language and fucking realizes "what the fuck what the fuuuuck

dear diary, i thought these guys were saying the same word to me. this has been going on for too long

[t4tbruharvey]

genuine twiddler post is that i think they know what to do at this point if one of them has a nightmare

[toruslvt]

 CALL BACK LATER !

[ your ex is on the line ? tell him to fuck off ]

⋆ toji fushiguro, sukuna ryomen, satoru gojo + fem!reader

 ⋆ mdni. a lot of cursing, exhibitionism through phone calls. tags for each character; toji: you and him a have a one night stand, protected sex, ( who is this bitch that's so not me ), facetiming, hair pulling ( not in a mean way ). sukuna: established relationship, matting press. satoru: taking pics. pet names used: princess, baby, angel.

TOJI

five times, it’s been five times since your phone screen started to buzz to life with an incoming call of someone registered as ‘trash’, Toji didn’t care, you were just a good fuck in the backseat of his car after a night of drinks.

the problem was how much you squirmed underneath him each time the dark space was lit up by your phone, currently tossed in the carpet. “fuckin’ hell” he grunts, stopping his movements while his hands were tightly pressed on the small of your back, arching your body for his cock to reach deeper in the tight depts of your pussy, now still and throbbing, almost filling the condom with how much precum his tip drooled.

“can’t fuck you properly if you keep tightening up, princess” Toji huffs, leaving a soft smack on your ass, making the skin jiggle as he bends down, picking your phone up and inspecting the screen with a slight smirk, “boyfriend?”

“ex” you whine, muffled by the leather of his backseat.

the scarred corner of his lip tilts up, just slightly before your phone rings again, although this time, Toji presses on the green button, accepting the face call.

“babe, I'm sorry! i di— who the fuck are you?” the gruff voice of a man resonates through the cramped space.

“listen, man” Toji replies, his voice mocking and slightly slurred, accompanied by the slow buck of his hips against your ass, slowly stinking in the warmth tightness of your cunt that fluttered wildly, from the thrill of being heard... or perhaps his skills were still unmatched.

Toji picks up the pace once again, your moans present and accompanied by the wet sound of skin slapping “the lady here is quite busy, why don’t you call back later.”

“why don’t you fuck off, let me speak to her” your ex exclaims, quite agitated as realization starts to set in his features. a shrug is the only response Toji gives, followed by a soft chuckle, big fingers tightening in your forehead and a couple hair strands before pulling up, your face a complete mess of tears and drool, mascara running down your cheeks for your ex to see through the screen, the older men’s mess created on your trembling body, desperate to cum around his fat cock, his own face coming into the frame as he leans down against your shoulder.

“like I told you, man, she is quite busy right now”

SUKUNA

a raised brow is the only reaction your phone gets from Sukuna, a hand tightly gripping your hips, mercilessly pounding your pussy while the other holds the device up, scanning it with a slight smirk before tossing it to you.

“answer” is what he says, still smirking to himself as he slides a hand under your thigh, forcing your hips to rise off the bed as he continues to fuck you deep, messily staining your asscheeks with the slick and precum that oozes out of your hole, “c’mon, i’m getting quite irritated to hear that ringtone, answer and end with it” your boyfriend huffs, although there was a hint of mischief underneath, and you never really trusted his sudden ‘kind’ behaviors.

you swallow deeply, attempting to maintain your voice steadily as you pick up your ex’s phone call, his voice immediately coming into your ears, as well as Sukuna’s deep rumble coming from the bottom of his throat.

and you really should have expected it, for Sukuna to bend down, cup your thighs and force you into a mating press, growling in delight at the way your eyes flutter close, voice stutters and pussy clamps around his cock, gripping him like a vice.

it’s a sharp squeal that comes from your lips, one that is quickly quieted down by his hand on your mouth, giving you a knowing look before retreating it, “behave, finish the call, and i’ll let you cum” he rasps, breath hot and fanning over your neck, sending shivers down your spine while your ex’s voice remains unheard and unimportant in the back.

reduced to being patient, you can only exhale shakily, the phone in your hand about to snap from the tight grip on it, perhaps just like your hips from the intensity of Sukuna’s thrusts on you, making your body bounce on the bed by how hard his cocks drives into the depths of your cunt, positively scraping across your g-spot as you felt your brain shortcut each time.

not even paying attention to your ex, you barely mutter a couple ‘mhm’s constantly, not aware of what you’ve agreed or refused to as your phone calls ends with a hurried “thank you, baby!” from your ex, or at least you think the call has ended as your phone drops to the floor, not really caring as your nails dig on your boyfriend’s back, your moans finally coming freely.

“that’s a good girl, now cum all over your boyfriend’s cock” Sukuna growls, putting an extra accent in the word boyfriend, but you didn’t pay attention to it.

SATORU

it spurs Satoru to know your ex is most definitely hearing your desperate cries of pleasure, it brings him a sense of power, bursts his ego and only urges him into fucking you harder.

it’s not a surprise for you when Satoru goes hard, he often tends to go pussydrunk and pounds you nonstop until himself is panting and growling in pleasure, with sweat dripping down his body and prints of his fingers on your body.

the thing that does surprise you is how vocal he becomes, not by moaning, but by speaking.

“does it feel good, angel?” “you want me to keep going, yeah? right there? oh such a good girl, I can feel your cute pussy clamping on me” he growls, making your whimpers only increase by each raspy word coming out of your boyfriend.

your moans turn into high pitched whines, the rhythmically sound of skin meeting into heavy, wet and erratic slaps of sweat and precum coated skin, and your phone marks 20 minutes ever since he picked up the call for you; you really got a thing for picking pervert boyfriends.

“only I can make you feel this way, hm?” Satoru grins, picking up your phone and closing the phone app, keeping it in the background as he opens the camera, “you’re so wet, can feel you twitching around me” he smirks, biting on the tip of his tongue to conceal a chuckle in delight how you tighten up, thighs shaking and chest heaving.

“come, baby, need to feel you cumming around my cock, make a mess, my love, and let me keep this beautiful pic forever”

it doesn’t take much before your orgasm takes over, and Satoru is quick to follow behind, splattering his thick cum all over your lower belly that manages to get captured by your phone camera.

“so pretty, this will work wonderfully for when the pest decide to continue bothering you”

[augustinewrites]

“itadori, please respect his personal space—”

“kugisaki! stop hitting him—”

“megumi, don’t you dare bring that elephant out in my classroom—”

peace and quiet is short-lived whenever the first years are around.

you manage to quiet them down with the threat of assigning an essay, allowing you a moment’s respite to massage your temples and lean back in your seat, glancing at your phone to check just how many minutes you have left with them.

a notification pops up as you do, bringing on a whole new headache.

[satoru]: send nudes?

you quickly turn your phone over so it’s screen-down, face burning as you look around to make sure no one had seen.

peace and quiet is also short-lived whenever satoru calls out sick. because the strongest sorcerer of your time…currently has a cold.

he is, predictably, very dramatic whenever he’s sick. a mild fever means he puts himself on bedrest. a sore throat means he needs to be spoon fed a very specific homemade soup.

but the worst…oh, the worst is when he has a cold.

when satoru’s sinuses are clogged, he’s an absolute menace to deal with. his sneezes shake the apartment and his whines about sinus pressure are all you hear at the dinner table.

luckily, the students have resorted to quietly bothering each other, so you slowly turn your phone back around to deal with the man child who is likely littering the living room floor with tissues.

he’s stuck at home, which means he’s got nothing to do but annoy you.

[satoru]: haha jk

[satoru]: unless…?

huffing, you quickly type back a response.

[you]: NOT funny. i’m at work.

[satoru]: so what you’re saying is you’ll send them during lunch right ;)

“miss!” itadori shouts, his arm raised. “can fushiguro come to the arcade with us after class?”

“of course,” you say. “but please don’t forget to finish your essays on cursed technique origins. it’s due on monday.”

yuuji’s practically bouncing in his seat as he grabs megumi’s arm. hear that, fushiguro? you hear as you pick up your phone. your mom said yes!

megumi, who usually comes home on the weekends, still looks to you for approval. you assure him with a small nod and smile.

sometimes you just want to wrap him up in your arms and never let go. he may have been another couple’s blessing, but ultimately he’s yours and gojo’s pride and joy. possibly the only one you have left, as it stands.

thought you’re a little sad that he won’t be home for dinner tonight, you remind yourself that he’s growing up. for as long as you’ve known him, he’s always been a sort of lone wolf. but a lone wolf is still a wolf, and a wolf needs a pack.

he’s finally found friends he’s comfortable with, and it’s good that he wants to spend time with them and vice versa.

your phone buzzes insistently in your hand.

[satoru]: pleeeeeaaaase?

[satoru]: i think it’ll really help with my recovery…

[satoru]: if this cold kills me the last thing i want to see is a picture of you

oh, that’s actually kind of—

[satoru]: nude, preferably

maybe it’s a good thing megumi won’t be home tonight. you don’t need any witnesses to the crime you’re about to commit.

[you]: what’ll help with your recovery is a visit to the infirmary.

there’s a short pause, then you watch the little bubble appear and disappear about six times.

[satoru]: shit

[satoru]: is this a scene?

you roll your eyes, waving at the kids as they head out to catch the train.

[you]: i hate you

he doesn’t answer, so you get up to hurry over to your office, shutting and locking the door behind you.

you wait a moment, opening the camera on your phone as you do so.

once the sound of footsteps echoing through the hall disappears, you start unbuttoning the first few buttons of your shirt—

you scream when a loud sneeze startles you, satoru suddenly appearing at your side.

he doesn’t miss a beat, plucking a tissue from your desk and blowing his nose loudly. he throws it in the general direction of the bin before slapping his palm onto your desk.

you can tell he’s attempting to be some sort of seductive, but it’s dampened bu the way he sniffles loudly, his face a little red.

“hello, doctor,” he says, a lazy grin spread across his face. “i’m here for my physical.”

“honey,” you laugh, gently cupping the sides of his face. “you need to rest.”

“but ‘m not tired,” he pouts, leaning in to nose at your neck. his skin is warm against yours, much too warm for your liking.

you tangle your fingers in his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. “since i’m your doctor, i’m prescribing a nap.”

“a nap does sound kind of nice…”

he gets up, taking your hand and dragging you over to the couch with him. he locks you within his embrace, sighing contentedly as he presses you to his chest.

“wait, satoru i have to supervise the second years’ training—”

it’s too late. he’s already asleep, snoring loudly in your ear.

so you take out your phone and text nanami, asking if he can cover for you this afternoon.

because a sick satoru is a needy satoru, and you won’t be leaving this couch for a while.