#nd for the e question . one thing about me is i will not initiate a conversation irl

[parkminijiminie]

Part 1)

You know initially i was quite okay with not getting much content from jkk cause i know they don't have to share with us all of the things they do together and all so i know it's normal but then after long time i was like nahhh this is not usual cause what do you mean the two members who were attached to the hips all these years are nowhere to be found together? Even the duos who did not seem to hangout together before were also getting spotted together so how come not Only jkk?

Many times jkkrs said that k-jkkrs don't share things with us this that whicj is okay but like for this long? Something wasn't adding up. Then i thought like forget about k-jkkrs is there no army who spotted them together? Cause if they did you know armys post it on twitter so i know no one was spotting them together because they were actually not hanging out together.

Another thing is they could be hanging out at eachothers' place but for how many times they were going to do that? Jm said during FACE's promotions that his fav vacation place is his sofa and he prefers staying at home. I'm not saying jkk Never hangout only them two but i knew for sure it was definitely very very less.

Then jungkook kept inviting jimin over his house in his lives and jm be like "I'll meet you after my/your promotion ends" but next you ask him if he met jk his answer would be "Not yet". So yeah the meetings were very very less compared to their previous yrs and other members too.

Thing with many jkkrs is that they simply don't wanna accept that things between jkk could change too Cause at the end they're humans.

About jk not mentioning jm in his first lives i actually don't mind it much cause jungkook actually never used to talk about any member at all. Mind you he only recently talked about jin like he never ever answered a single question about jin when he's in military. Even tho he later started mentioning jm he never mentioned jin once. I think he mentioned it way later like right before hobi joining MS.

Jungkook only used to talk about members while reading comments and when jm used to comment on his lives. He hardly ever used to mention any member without reading a comment. Jm used to comment on all of jm's live till FACE's promotions once the promotions stopped he for some time never commented on his live. Then later he again started.

It's a bits and pieces of behaviour like i wanna believe they weren't doing well together but then my mind is like "why would jm include jungkook on his album then?" Ngl jk's involvement in Letter i never understood cause he's there for only few seconds only doing some bg vocals for literally few seconds. Jimin is lead vocalist he's doing bg vocals for years he could have simply done it by himself. He even said he didn't want to have any collab cause it was the personal album so why is jungkook there in the first place? In a hidden track? Literally for no reason that's why i find that sus...

There was no business for jk to learn letter's guitar tune but he did learn it as his first guitar lesson. I'm very sure the person who played guitar in jm's letter is the same person who's jk's guitar teacher cause you simply won't get a tune even before the song release.

The first time jm commented on jk's live their convo was kind of formal i know jkk play like that alot but it didn't sit right with me cause he literally aksed how are you both doing (jm nd hobia cause hoba also commented). Then like take care. I know many will say he's just telling him to take care but nope when you're bf nd are in contact with each other all the time you won't say that. Also in that same live or it was diff i don't remember (it mostly has to be the same) taehyung commented and jungkook was like "what is he doing here?" And tae commented "you said you're going to sleep what are you doing live now" I felt like tae nd jk were more in contact with e/o than jm nd jk from their conversations.

To me at that time it definitely felt like they're keeping with e/o through those online comments. Like more than phones they talked to e/o over those comments lol.

Idk what to take of the initial jk lives cause jm used to comment on literally every jk live till his album was out once his promotions got over jm himself became inactive so did his comments on jk's lives.

Part 2)

Another thing I'll say as one anon said when he played vibe on his live it felt like he didn't want to so I'll say that if there's one thing i learned about jk over these few months is that he never does anything that he didn't want to so if he's doing something even if not 100% still somewhat part of him wanted to do it and hence he did it.

He started this watching memebrs song, content with jm only before that he didn't do it for anyone else. Even after jm's album release when yg released his album jungkook didn't even play a single song despite him going live during that time too. He literally used to play jimin's song which then released after yg's album but he still never Played yg's songs at that time. I thought he would atleast play people pt2 since iu is in there nd he loves her vocals but nope. He only played yg's song recently cause he thought he messed up at yg's concert and he kept saying sorry and feeling bad and in that he played yg's album (i think he got album that day).

When he watched vibe he knew jimin's Verse that means he's already heard it enough times to know the lyrics so idt he's got any problem with playing vibe live.

See even if he did it for us fans he still showed jm some online support that i won't deny. He kept with every content that was coming from jm.

He only watched suchwita because of jm nd that was his literally first episode of watching suchwita when the show was going on for long before that. The person he admired alot RM even for RM he didn't watch but did for jm. He was sleepy but he still kept watching it. He even told suga that he didn't watch all the episodes during his own ep when yg thought jk is a regular viewer, I'm sure he still hasn't watched all members' eps. The way after that jinhobi suchwita evryone wanted jk to react to that but he didn't.

There's another time armys aksed him to sing his song he literally made a face and said NO and immediately after that played jm's song. He knows each nd every jm song. Even tho he never acknowledged "with you" anywhere it's still was in his car playlist and he knows lyrics to that as well nd he was singing it while closing his yes sweet (this is from his vlog).

He himself played letter on his live after that army made song. You can simply see his reaction on his face while playing jimin's songs and other members' songs. The easy example i can give is in the same live he played letter he also played winter bear ig and you can see his reaction difference. watched "BTS teasing jimin" with us.

So from all that i can say is he does things the way he wants it and no one can talk over him.

......

My answer:

"what do you mean the two members who were attached to the hips all these years are nowhere to be found together? Even the duos who did not seem to hangout together before were also getting spotted together so how come not Only jkk?" Exactly what made me suspicious of there being some sort of change and distance with Jikook.

"So yeah the meetings were very very less compared to their previous yrs and other members too." - That to me is a fact. No speculations there.

"Ngl jk's involvement in Letter i never understood cause he's there for only few seconds only doing some bg vocals for literally few seconds." - I think despite Jikook not meeting as much as before (when they used to be more than friends, maybe) , they never really fell apart. They remained fond of each other , just not as close so them working together doesn't faze me. Since Letter is fan song maybe Jimin wanted to include another member, because he knows the fans would love it. Plus him and JK have always sounded great together and their voices compliment each other perfectly, so there is that. Despite everything going on then, JK was still special to Jm I think, so maybe Jimin still felt gratitude and love for him, just like the lyrics in the song say.

"To me at that time it definitely felt like they're keeping with e/o through those online comments. Like more than phones they talked to e/o over those comments lol." - I agree. I think they didnt meet much and I believe the reason for it was Jimin's own unwillingness and maybe some residual awkwardness between them if there are alone. JK obviously missed Jm and wanted to meet up, but JM was hesitant. Perhaps he was very busy , but maybe there was more to it.

"jm used to comment on literally every jk live till his album was out once his promotions got over jm himself became inactive so did his comments on jk's lives." -Maybe he simply wasn't online much at that time.

"i learned about jk over these few months is that he never does anything that he didn't want to" - No doubt about that. Jungkook doesn't do things he doesn't want to do /in his own words/

"He kept with every content that was coming from jm."- That is true. And he didn't do this for any other member. Yeah, he was pretty busy later when Tae`s album dropped out , but as we said, when Jk really wants to do something, he will find a way. He clearly showed to us that Jimin is more special than the other members, and even Taekookers felt it and became mad. Or maybe he was actually trying to show to Jimin how special he was and we were never the target audience for these lives. In fact, so often it looked like he didn't even care about us during them lol. This whole thing reminded me of when he played "Lie" in his hotel room years ago in an effort to summon Jimin. Even now, that Jungkook is pretty busy, he still keeps up with what Jimin is doing and posting, evident by the fact that he saw very quickly Jimin dancing to "Face" , even though he doesn't even have an IG account (that we know of).

In conclusion, Jungkook is an assertive man. He does what he wants and doesn't like being told otherwise. There was a reason he paid so much attention to Jimin's release and continues to do it even now, amid his own promotions. Whatever happened between them in the early months of this year, Jimin remained special to him and Jungkook made sure we (and Jimin) don't forget it.

[virtuangel]

m e g for the ask game hehehehe 🥰🥰

oh em gee hello i wonder how u decided on those letters !!

m: your favorite maknae?

believe me or not but like i actually. usually. i dont rlly pay attention to the maknaes all that much?? so this is kinda hard bc like i just simply don't ... care as much u know ... the maknaes i Do rlly care abt are usually ppl i forget Are youngest in their respective groups also so like ?? u know ?? so enjoy this small selection of maknaes i like but not specifically As Maknaes . u know . (does that make sense shld i have worded this differently. ppl i like that Happen to be maknaes) anyways hyuk (not ox's youngest but he was the youngest in enoi and thus he qualifies) / daehwi / jiseong / junseo / yuchan.

update: after i typed all that i remembered that yuna exists my answer is now yuna thank u u can disregard all that

e: an idol you think would be easy to get along with?

mmm jangjun comes to mind... like he reminds me a lot of like a few specific people in my life who like .. tried to reach out to me in a v specific way like idk how to explain that but like .... idk maybe it's the extrovert energy and the humour idk . but i do think he'd be one of those people who would start talking to me if he was very bored maybe we wouldnt be friends but i think we wld get along pretty well in those moments at least 👍

g: a group you wish you could see more of on your dash?

to all nations tee ayy enn tan ... like its in part my fault bc i just .... dont rlly go on the dash all that much anymore i just check my post notifs from my belovedskjsnfkj but i know i do follow some ppl who post them . but like that aside i think we should all be little soda cans all of us everyone should b in love with tan and if u disagree ure wrong im sorry. also theres never enough crabtuals in fact i think u should join us meg .... u wanna be a crabtual so bad ..... admit it u do .....

[artmunstudios]

What's 2 similarities & 2 differences U have noticed between Ozpin & Oscar?

Aaahh I was wondering if you were going to ask me! I’ve been seeing you around asking this question and the answers have all been interesting! So I’ll take on a response that people aren’t taking on then, yes? This will be a long post, so if anyone is interested in reading past the first analysis just click the ‘read more’!

Their Origins

Ozpin is at the core based off of two characters. One of those characters, Oscar is also connected to. There are obviously more characters and whatnot they reference, but for the sake of simplicity, I will only be addressing their clear initial inspiration. Ozpin is based off of The Wizard of Oz, also known as Professor Oz primarily in the Oz Book Series; but his full name is Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs, which he abbreviated to Ozpin Head. (Thank you @immortal-green-snom for this tidbit!!!) In the book series, after he had left in the air balloon in an attempt to help Dorothy get home, Professor Oz was revealed to have done a lot of slimy and heinous things to keep the throne of the Emerald City, and by extension, the Land of Oz itself. While he does get better in the latter books he reappears in, he was portrayed as being manipulative, a bit pathetic, but extremely intelligent and a master of illusions. I wouldn't be surprised if the writers of RWBY were trying to get that across in Ozpin's traits, but to be quite honest, they kinda failed at making him even a morally grey character, as a lot (not all, he isn't guitless, but again, a lot) of the arguments used in-show, and the FNDM itself, are all about things that were either not in his control, or something that was painted as being his fault/harmful, but was actually the opposite of the situation. The biggest example of this is Raven trying to trick Yang and Weiss into believing Ozpin had forced her and Qrow to become birds/have the ability to do so. In a lot of ways, Ozpin and Professor Oz are actually opposites of one another in terms of personalities, which may have in actuality been the overall intention CRWBY had, but we can only speculate. Professor Oz is extremely selfish, while Ozpin is selfless, even to a point where it actually becomes harmful to others. Professor Oz would have done anything to be in power, while Ozpin has done everything to relinquish himself of a position of power, which I find very interesting. This may be due to him even trying to somehow relinquish the burden the God of Light has placed on Oz as a whole, but is ultimately unable to give up that specific task. Even though, truthfully, he needed to relinquish that particular stronghold all along. Professor Oz is clearly a leader, and despite his negative traits, is actually a very good one. Ozpin...as much as I love him as a character, is not the greatest leader. He is, however, an excellent advisor/second-in-command. Professor Oz is only a mere mortal man pretending to be something more, while Ozpin is something bigger than a mortal man, but is pretending to be nothing but a man. Expanding upon this, they also are desperate to be the opposite of what they are. Professor Oz wants to be what he portrayed himself as, and for Ozpin, it's very much the same situation. There is a lot more I could say, but let's move on to Oscar!

Oscar Pine, like Ozpin, is based off of two characters at the core. Again, it is likely that he represents more than two, but for the sake of simplicity, let's discuss only the two. From the moment I saw Oscar, I knew right away that he was based off of my favorite character from the Oz Book Series...Tip. Tip, short for Tippetarius, was too a farmboy who longed for much more, who knew that there was more out there, despite being notably content in their lifestyle. The only difference was that Tip was a slave to an evil witch, but he escapes her in the second chapter with a companion. He is described as being just like any boy; rugged, mischievous, playful, and a lover of all things fun while still being quite shrewd. Unlike Ozpin and Professor Oz, Tip and Oscar are, in fact, extremely alike. Even down to their colors and appearance. Despite how Tip is colored, he actually has light brown skin (though considering the time period, we all know why this fact was dismissed), and black hair. And his treasured beanie cap was green and orange. His clothes also had a primary color scheme of brown, and were dirty due to the work he had done on the farm. Oscar and Tip have the exact same personalities, which was what affirmed to me that Oscar was meant to be his primary parallel. What got me the most was their sarcasm. Tip is still the most sarcastic and genuinely street-smart protagonists in the Oz Books. Not to say there were no other protags like that, but there was something to be said about how Tip was one of the few protagonists to actually act as a leader in the traveling group. Just like Oscar, Tip is also quite emotional, and they both have a sharp temper that they express not in loud outbursts, but by quips that you know could be quite hurtful if they wanted them to be. However, between the two, Tip is the loudest, should you put them in the same room. However, I suspect that as time goes on, Oscar might start becoming quite vocal when he doesn't like something, as I've noticed that the more he develops, the more he acts like Tip. Their behaviors are similar as well; when something personal is going on between two parties who clearly knew each other before him, both Oscar and Tip have a tendency to hang back and simply let the moment play out. They both start out as being sort of bystanders, just going with the flow while occassionally giving very good advice/strategies, but they start to become more of a leader as time goes on. In fact, leadership seems to be in their blood. There is actually a reason for this.

Ozma of Oz

There is a single thread that connects both Oscar and Ozpin, and that is the second primary character they represent. That character is the infamous Princess/Queen Ozma of Oz. Ozma, in many ways, is a lot like both Ozpin and Oscar; and may be the kind of person they become once the merging is complete. She is shrewd, but gentle. Sarcastic and blunt, but very elegant and fun-loving. They have a particular grace in how they handle their politics, but she admittedly gets into more trouble than rulers of kingdoms should. She is, ultimately, the perfect archetype of a ruler. And had completely reformed The Emerald City to be an environment that is very much like Vale's open-mindedness, with the advanced technology and efficiency of Atlas. Ozma, in the books, was actually revealed to be Tip; or rather, Tip was Ozma. After being transformed into a boy as a baby by a witch under Professor Oz's command, they were whisked away by said witch, and had been working under that witch until they had escaped as a young boy. Many speculate that Ozma was meant to represent the transgender community, and I know many transgenders see Ozma as an icon. Frank Baum was the type of guy that wrote things that were ahead of his time, and seen as very controversial by the few who could actually read the metaphors planned out. It was even implied in the later books that Ozma and Dorothy get married, and there were many illustrations made from the original novel illustrators of Ozma and Dorothy looking like a couple. What's even greater is that despite the change of gender from Tip to Ozma, she still very much contains her boyish traits despite the frills and queenly garb. As stated in one of the last lines in the second Oz Book;

"I hope none of you will care for me less than you did before. I am still the same Tip you know..."

When I realized Oscar was Tip, I knew Ozma was going to be put into the equation. I just,,,, wasn't expecting..... t h a t.

Oscar and Ozpin

Time to actually answer the question I was asked JSDJFDKDFKFK--

Oscar and Ozpin are different in one particular way: Trust. Ozpin trusts nobody. Truthfully, he doesn't even trust himself, I don't think, and that is likely why he didn't have much of a plan these days. He doesn't trust himself to be competent enough to complete the task assigned to him, he doesn't trust humanity to pass, hell, I don't think he even trusts the Gods to be capable of taking care of humanity considering the shit job they did in the past, and how poorly they have handled Ozma and Salem. In simple terms, Ozpin trusts too little. Oscar, on the other hand, trusts...a little too much. There, I said it. And I'm willing to say it again. Oscar trusts too much. Whether or not that will change after the end of V7 and what happened in V8 is left for debate. Oscar seems almost incapable of seeing the downside in some situations, like, for example, confronting a General who has completely gone off the deep end, unarmed and alone. And he trusted a man who needlessly beat the shit out of him for something that nobody, not even Salem, were truly at fault for. And while that trust paid off, unlike how it did in the past, it is a bit of an alarming trait that I genuinely think will simmer down either after all that happened in V8, or it will eventually when that trust truly bites him in the ass.

Another polarization between Oscar and Ozpin: faith. This ties in a little bit with the trust theme, but there is enough to talk about on its own. While Ozpin does believe that humanity is overall good, I think he has lost faith in their capability to work together long enough for there to be any sort of permanent peace. And, admittedly, he isn't wrong to think that. I think you would have to be very foolish if you genuinely think there will ever be a point where humanity will stop fighting amongst themselves; in other words, Ozpin is fully aware that the God of Light's task is genuinely impossible. And honestly? I think the GoL knows it is, too. Oscar has faith as well, but he views the dire circumstance in a different way that may be the key to solve the seemingly unending puzzle of Salem and their task. He gets faith in humanity not through the overall picture, but in the smallest things. Oscar likely believes that it doesn't matter if all of humanity is united, because he too knows that will never happen. But, he is certain that there is a lot more power in the smallest of unions and actions; a racist woman reforming and helping to comfort a faunaus child. A woman who helped a group of people tear down a kingdom realize the fault of their actions, and try to save another kingdom's people. A man who, while being genuinely wise, was so blinded by rage that he could not see past his own nose, change in order to save what little good has sprouted from something so terrible that he helped sow. The little things matter so much more, and unlike Ozpin, he doesn't think that they need to grow any further than that.

So, what makes them similar? Two distinct things. They both are very personal. Even if it is in different forms of expressing, Oscar and Ozpin are quite personal, especially when it comes to their advice. But they also really feel for the person they are talking to. And while Ozpin felt Hazel was too far gone, he felt for him and understood and even agreed with his anger. Their empathy is truly something else; and it is also their weakest point. Not to say that having empathy is bad, but their empathy leads into another trait that they have in common... They let people walk all over them. All. The. Time. To a point where it is actually very frustrating, and it even hinders their development as characters. Ozpin let Ironwood walk all over him, and never spoke in defense for himself. Ozpin let the council walk all over him, and never defended himself. Ozpin allowed for so much of the blame to be placed on his own shoulders, that it is extremely unhealthy, and something I wish the show would address, but have come to accept that it won't. Especially when this trait is reflected in Oscar as well. He blamed himself for failing to convince Ironwood, he allowed for Jaune to verbally and physically attack him, and outright refused to let Jaune apologize. They both brush off their wellbeing so often, that watching Oscar do the same only confirms to me the suspicions I had as to why everyone was genuinely so blind to figure out what was going on in their heads and when they were struggling. Because both Oscar and Ozpin refuse to acknowledge their own struggles and shortcomings.

But, to be frank, that is more of a writing issue than a character reflection, in my personal opinion. And I'll continue to see it that way until the show actively acknowledges that unhealthy behavior.

There ya go! My very very long analysis of Oscar and Ozpin; I hope I brought something unique among the batch of this question!

[cottagekitty]

hello!!

welcome to my lil internet home, I hope ur cozy!

I’ve never really posted anything of my own or interacted with any of u sweet beans before, and this post will likely be long and will probably be rambly, if u preferto ignore this, feel free to scroll past! I won’t be offended =/ᐠ•ω•ᐟ\=

my intention with this account was never to gain any sort of following, nor did I want any attention drawn to me personally bc internet anxieties and I’ve always feared having any sort of noticeable online presence

the goal of my time here has been to form a virtual happiness scrapbook, a cozy space, a corner of the Internet catered to my ideas of a comfort zone or things that make me feel good inside. a collection of things to look back at and encourage me to feel happy about existing in this world on days that I’m feeling blue.

I’ve realized the amount of people enjoying my e-haven with me has grown, and while that initially made me a bit nervous, it’s very exciting to see so many people with similar interests and ideals of comfy. I love sharing this space with all of u and I’m so happy if anything I spread to ur little world can make it a bit brighter ♡ ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ

I think as I’ve grown and changed, I’ve become more comfortable with taking up space in the world. including the virtual one. I would really like not just to be more interactive with u all, but to also share more, say more, to be less hidden away bc in this current day, social media and the internet + ur presence on them and what u present is a very prevalent part of our society, the way we’re seen, the way we remember things nd eventually the way we’re remembered ourselves. there’s already no true privacy in the world so I might as well stop being afraid of being recognized. while I may not share this space with anyone in my personal life, I get to share it with a bunch of internet strangers, and that’s pretty neat. even if u will never rly know me, I’m still making my presence known in the world in some way.

I love u, I hope you have a wonderful experience existing in spite of all of the bullshit that comes with it. if u wanna get to know me, chat, ask questions, etc. then please feel free to do so, I’d love to get to know all of u!! (｡◕‿◕｡)

[drs404-blog]

UPDATE: Howell appeal judge takes issues under consideration

NEW ALBANY – Marlon Howell’s push for a new trial is in Judge Samac Richardson’s hands after a three-day hearing ended where his 2001 trial began.

His counsel asked for the new trial, at the very least from a jailhouse lineup was “tainted” because Howell did not have an attorney and should have.

The state insists there were no errors, except “harmless” ones, when Howell was tried for the 2000 shooting death of newspaper carrier David Pernell.

The Mississippi Supreme Court ordered an evidentiary hearing over various issues surrounding Marlon Howell’s 2001 conviction for capital murder in Union County.

(Below is a running account of the afternoon session. Please excuse the typos and other glitches likely as I type rapidly.)

•• • 3:01 - Both sides prepare to make closing statements.

[Below with Waide is a little confusing and hard to hear. I will try to clarify when I speak with him later.]

WAIDE - MOVE COURT ON EXHIBIT 28 ... Statement by Tim Kent ... KELLY - HE’S ALREADY TESTIFIED ... WAIDE - Motion to dismiss hearing or grant new trial because AG’s intimidation of witness. Denial of federal due process law. Further, occurrence during this case about witness Pannell. Would like court to see documents given to us about Pannell, a polygraph. HOOD - No objections to entering polygraph. Says 2 polygraphs conducted on Terkesia Pannell. WAIDE - Factual basis, to grant new trial based on prosecutor’s conduct ... also that on 10th ... rst page indicates she agreed to testify. On 11th, took polygraph. On 12th, took another one. And speci cally alluded to her testimony. (told about questions.) Every question is about her testimony. They also are contradictory. No alternative for her. Also, when he goes up to an attorney to say you’re going to be prosecuted, warns him about witnesses to intimidate him about calling them. We think this is very serious. We are going to look for authorities.

HOOD - This is classic situation. Only time court ordered hger not to talk to anyone was yesterday afternoon. Wednesday, we took a break. Court says not to talk to her. She came back and testi ed. We issued a subpoena for her. Then she became our witness, we had a right to interview her. We did polygraph yesterday and another today. We asked if she lied on witness stand. Wanted to give her one chance to tell the truth. Waide set all this up to go back and interrupt. I asked about three questions. Waide jumped up and said he was going to tell the judge. He said all that ... they submitted a davits and would say weren’t true. As o cer of court, I had a duty to warn him about putting on testimony he knows is not true. What’s going to happen to Richardson, I’m going to ask court to make a decision. The Bar? I don’t know. No misconduct on behalf of the state.

JUDGE - We’re through with that. Made your motion and response. I’m not sure it’s incumbent on this court ... to.. how can I say... to take that matter up. One, I don’t know about a davits. If in fact what you say occurred, if it has... that is an issue for ... if feel strongly enough to report to Bar ... further, if there’s a criminal act ... intimidation of o cers of court and witnesses. There’s a statute on that. Grand jury meets, get on its docket. Either side, let grand jury have a shot at it. If crime has been committed, should pursue an indictment. Don’t think I have authority to make punishment in this situation. That’s way I see it. Every lawyer has duty to report every ethical violation... and have it investigated. Motion denied.

Ready to proceed? OK. 3:14.

RICHARDSON - I will be brief. Just going to give overview and keep my emotion down to a minimum and be professional in my approach to court. This case has been about things it shouldn’t be. Not about me. About whether Marlon Howell got a fair trial. Most critical issue about most critical witness - no attorney at that lineup. Proven by a davits, more importantly by one person who said none there ... he could not dispute that. After 13 years, we learn that trial court and Supreme Court have labored and made important decisions about case based on fact that was in error. Not for me to say, neglect or improper motive. Chief is o cer of the state ... his duty is higher than average citizen to testify. His duty is to make certain that what he says is correct. But once he knows he’d made a mistake, it was to take to D.A. and let him know so can notify defense.

First time ever brought to defense was after Mr. Howell had had a hearing before MS Supreme Court. Had lost opportunity to confront witnesses. Put yourself in Duncan Lott’s position. Di cult under best of circumstances, but when material fault fact that is going on and laboring under that, protecting Howell’s 4th, 5th and 6th Amendment rights. Also, in MS, very proud of this case, because it’s extended right of counsel ... when someone arrested and jailed under speci c charge, right to counsel attaches.

If take it farther, it was so easy for this to happen. All had to do was to ensure that his right was protected. Contend the right enured on May 15 when he was put in that jail. No excuse for them not to ... testimony... lawyers show up at 9:45. Lineup in 20-40 feet of where lawyers show up. All had to ask lawyers to assist client. All had to do, or appoint counsel. They proceeded without it. Reason I know they knew... look how long they tried to disprove there WAS counsel there. For 13 years. Only to  nd there wasn’t a lawyer at that lineup.

Unique situation, but also an egregious situation. Not simply that lawyer wasn’t at a hearing., And ruling on e ect on case. In this case, you have incredible situation where 6th amendment right attached, chief testi ed that Regan Russell was there. Court made its  nding based on that evidence.

In MS Supreme Court,  nds it will take minimum e ort for Lott to call Russell to verify. True. His client told him, I didn’t have a lawyer there. He expressed surprise that chief said lawyer was there. Supreme Court was right - should have picked up phone. Regan Russell ... this is a small town ... Russell heard that his name was bantered around about being there. He tells the court on stand, at or about time of trial... says can’t say exactly... but I told chief I was not there. That means chief was put o notice at or about time of trial. At that point, he had obligation and duty to report that to D.A. - hey, I may have been wrong. Russell didn’t get put on stand to say he wasn’t there.

What does chief do? Nothing. Nothing. That means we go through motions hearing to correct, trial ... aware of recantation of Rice ... is no physical evidence linking my client to this crime. Only evidence is Rice, Ray and Brandon Shaw. If ever time for close scrutiny - it’s now. No DNA, gunpowder residue. Gun’s not his. It’s Ray’s. 911 says 2 people in car. Quick Stop lady said that.

But nothing’s done when could be corrected. Goes to MS Supreme Court -  nds lineup reasonable... because Howell had attorney present. If I was MSSC, I’d say ... something wrong with lineup, lawyer should have said something. Since he didn’t, must not have been there. Another court relies on false testimony under oath. Now has grave impact on his appellate right.

In 2005, I submit Russell’s a davit saying not there. State takes it and goes ... not to Russell ... they go to chief. What does he do? He signs another a davit not Russell, it’s Tpm McDonough. McDonough says he told chief not to do that because he told defense he wasn’t there. I called every lawyer in three counties to make certain. Got a davits from key people who did criminal work at time.

Based on that, situation where state should have gone further. McDonough a davit - does state try to  nd out. No, they stand by it. Chief believes was Russell but still signs a davit. Did he take it back? No. Misconception has gone this long.

No way, absolutely no way... initial statements say Marlon Howell wasn’t there. They were torn up. No way for his 4th, 5th 6th amendment rights ... no way to get a fair trial. Given ... look at Rice... committed a felony because I wanted them out of my hair. He didn’t say leave. He just decided to commit a felony signing an a davit he didn’t believe to be true. Reason? We wanted him to be certain. We said sign this, think on it and we’ll come back with more formal a davit. If you’re sure, you can execute it.

We treated him with utmost respect. You saw Leonard Sanders. Me. His testimony violates .... case screams for relief.

We ask court to move as soon as possible for a new trial. 3:30 JASON DAVIS - ASST. ATTY GENERAL -

Will address issue of the lineup and whether defense counsel was e ective at lineup. This isn’t a typical 5th amendment case. I agree with counsel. But not a 5th amendment case at all. Mr. Howell was clearly not under arrest for capital murder when lineup occurred. Ms Supreme Court said 5th amendment rights do not attach until charge begins. We submit he was not under arrest for capital murder when lineup occurred.

He was not entitled to counsel. (cites cases. Talks about these cases.) Ms Supreme Court has new language where individual has been arrested and looking toward initial appearance. Right to counsel attaches after arrest and at point when initial appearance ought to have been met. When is that?

Lineup issue: We note for record trial counsel did not relinquish its claim about Russell at lineup. Record re ects. Judge stated it was a good lineup after question of whether it was. (tells about how lineup was composed by computer) MSSC says lineup was su cient. Say counsel heard judge rule lineup was su cient.

Question becomes when Howell was arrested: 8:30 on evening prior on blue warrant. Taken to lineup mere 14 hours later. Put in lineup. Two hours later was before a judge. This goes back to when his initial appearance ought to have occurred. (cases cited and compares with Howell case) (Notes court rules about initial appearances, within 48 hours or arrest.) Howell brought for initial appearance mere 14 hours after arrest. Also submit under MS Code 99-1-7, tells us when prosecution may commence - after issuance of a warrant or binding over. Record supports that Howell wasn’t under arrest for capital murder - no warrant for that. His 6th amendment right had not attached at this time. MSSC says lineup was su cient. Where is the violation? Submit there is none.

Beyond this ... (cites cases) ... we ask that your honor  nd Howell was not under arrest for capital murder and 6th amendment rights do not attach. But ... should you determine he was under arrest for it - and determine he was entitled to counsel - lineup was deemed su cient. (talks about harmless error - with illegal lineups) He was not under arrest. In these cases ... that Rice’s in-court identi cation of Howell was su cient. Record notes  rst ID in court by Rice was after question: Who did you see shoot Mr. Pernell?

We know issues of Rice’s ID ... MS Supreme Court has already determined issues of his reliability are foreclosed from argument. .. that court can proceed to an analysis. 3:40.

HOOD - I’m not here to argue what my colleague said about law ... following the law. The facts of the matter ... if their rule is correct, anybody can go through lineup and must have a lawyer rst...chicken and egg. Must have charge to get a lawyer. MSSC decision - seems pretty clear. Cases where warrant issued and lineup, that’s where our Supreme Court says entitled to counsel.

My issues - no recantation. No withholding of exculpatory evidence. Third that trial counsel was not ine ective for failure to pursue exculpatory evidence. Remember being Supreme Court clerk, thought about what happened in a trial. I know now why MSSC says re-canted testimony should be viewed very unfavorably. Our view, theirs are not favorable. Base it on testimony. Talking to Judge Coleman during recess - rely on him for impressions of his witnesses when he made these decisions in this courtroom.

Take testimony of Charles Rice ... he was same as at trial, no change in his identi cation as person who committed the crime. They came out, he says they badgered him right beFore he was to get married. Did it again, he says. Saw his reaction to cross-examination. Trying to tell the truth.

As to Pannell-Gaines, I’ve seen a lot of witnesses - I’ve tried over 100 - I don’t think I’ve ever seen a witness go back and forth so much like jelly. She answered contradictory. Her testimony was totally unreliable. Second, if you look at a davits ... looking at what she said wasn’t true. She struck only two exculpatory statements - only ones she could provide. (JUDGE TELLS HIM HE’S OVER TIME .... SORRY, WROTE IT DOWN WRONG. HOOD CAN GO BACK FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES.)

JUDGE - GOT 5 MORE MINUTES.

HOOD - Brandon Shaw, a strong witness. Nothing to gain by testifying. Lengthy cross - rea rmed his testimony. Said defense wrote out statement, got him to sign it after badgering. No re-cantation in this case.

No withholding exculpatory evidence withheld - Pannell said Shaw told her Ray and Lipsey committed the murder.

Trial counsel was not ine ective about exculpatory evidence, with prejudice. Trial transcript says ... opening statement... defense counsel says Pannell will say defendants never came into the room. Only way to know that is to have talked to her. Counsel did his job and was prepared. But she’s such a bad witness. Second, all her testimony was hearsay and not exculpatory. Reasonable possibility it would not have changed the outcome. Answer is no. Her testimony was not admissible. Counsel has not proven this case on any of the issues.

Their claim should be denied.

2 more minutes.... We think court should rule on - some suggestions ... no re-cantation, no withholding evidence, trial counsel was not ine ective. But if  nds no attorney available ... then we submit there is no arrest, was there on a blue warrant. Within a few hours he was brought before a magistrate for initial hearing. No attachment of 6th amendment right to counsel. We think, use harmless evidence in this case. 3:52

MATT RICHARDSON - We contend his right to counsel had attached. Clear, based on documents introduced ... and Tim Kent testimony that he was arrested for capital murder the night of the 15th. He said didn’t want him to resolve his parole issue and leave. Purpose of booking, in e ect he was under arrest. (cites cases.. de nition of arrest) He was being held on capital murder. Next day... must go before judge without unnecessary delay, not to exceed 48 hours. Only one excuse for delay is lack of access to a judge. Testi ed they had court starting at 10 a.m. He could have been appointed counsel. They chose not to do that. Had lineup. Howell was wearing di erent shoes... lineup was used throughout trial.... Look at closing arguments, they talk about the lineup.

If that’s not enough about error the Ms Supreme Court, says Rice’s testimony was crucial to state’s case. No way to be harmless for Mr. Howell. (cites cases) when lineup is in violation of 6th amendment rights ... no one should have been allowed to say “lineup” in this entire trial, It tainted the trial and the appeal. State still won’t concede that he didn’t have a lawyer. Mr. Howell should be granted a new trial.

JUDGE - 3:56 - CONCLUDES THE HEARING. Will work on this across next few weeks. KELLY - One matter, neglected to submit a davit. Live testimony is it. RICHARDSON - Will ORDEr a transcript. Wanted to alert the court about that. RECESS. 3:58

•• •

NEW ALBANY – Attorney General Jim Hood tried to intimidate a rebuttal witness today in defense attorney Jim Waide's presence, Waide told Judge Samac Richardson after an afternoon break.

Waide said Hood bluntly asked former witness, Terkesia Pannell, if she knew what perjury was and that she'd failed a polygraph.

That's clearly intimidation, Waide insisted.

Waide was present when Hood questioned her because defense attorneys insisted that's what Hood would do, when he re-questioned Pannell.

Later in the day, defense investigator Leonard Sanders, on repeat testimony, insisted Death Row inmate Marlon Howell's main attorney, Billy Richardson, never o ered anyone money for their sworn statements.

Howell’s counsel seeks a new trial for him or to have the Union County capital murder conviction overturned because of alleged constitutional rights violations.

The evidentiary hearing was ordered by the Mississippi Supreme Court.

Senior Judge Samac Richardson of Rankin County, no relation to Howell’s lead counsel Billy Richardson of North Carolina, is presiding over the hearing, which began Wednesday, after all the circuit district’s judges declined to participate.

Attorney General Jim Hood was the case’s district attorney when it came to trial. On the state’s team with him are current D.A. Ben Creekmore, Assistant D.A. Kelly Luther and Assistant A.G. Jason Davis.

Attorney Richardson is assisted by Tupelo attorneys Jim Waide and Rachel Pierce Waide, with support from the Mississippi Innocence Project based at the University of Mississippi.

Howell, who was seated at his counsel table, was sentenced to death after his conviction for the May 15, 2000 shooting death of David Pernell, a Daily Journal newspaper carrier. His co- defendants insisted he killed Pernell but later recanted. They were sentenced to prison on other charges.

(Please forgive the typos and other glitches likely as I type rapidly.) •• •

1:02 P.M. - Judge returns. KELLY CALLS JIM NANCE

NANCE - Corrections supervisor, MDOC. 16 years. Involved with Marlon Howell situation. Never supervised him. (Involved with his arrest?) Yes. (When?) May 16, 2000. (Records about that?) Assigned to Union County and also supervise about 70 counties. (Records? ... when arrested him, what authority?) As a  eld o cer, MDOC. (Documents to do so?) Yes. Field o cer’s warrant, blue warrant. (Allegation in document?) Yes. (Hands him document, what is it?) Warrant for arrest for probation violation issued against Marlon Howell by me, May 15, 2000. (Involved taking him into custody?) Yes, had that warrant at time. (Probation violation, what?) Stated, failure to avoid vicious habits, not paying various court fees. (Anything else going on?) O cer Chuck Mullins had started a warrant on his person, failed to sign it. This was original warrant by Mullins. I signed it. Also, a citation for contempt of court for him. For court-ordered monies.

(Kelly - Separate from MDOC fees?) Yes. (Failure to avoid vicious habits. What is that?) Reference to a positive drug test. Failed drug test 5/5/2000. (Once incarcerated on that, did police have authority to release him?) No. (If arrested 5/15 ... could he be released?) MDOC could withdraw warrant or taken to court, which could release him if wanted to. (Would fee payment relieve him of obligation?) Only one condition. Other conditions stated. (Cites document number for judge.) 1:10

RICHARDSON to question. (Earlier that day, Howell was in court on probation matter?) NO sir, he was there on issue of court-ordered fees. (Warrant typed and ready to go about that time or before?) Not sure when original warrant was there by Mullins. (But everything you’re talking about was done prior to May 15 when he was in court?) I don’t know when original warrant was in court. (I understand, but original allegations were before then?) Yes. (You were there that day?) Not sure.

(Shows him Exhibit 42 ... you had other people in court that day you supervised?) I was there, I believe. (What is this important to? Court proceedings?) Appears to. (Shows Howell in court that morning?) Yes. (Warrant for?) Just for court costs, court-ordered money that’s all. Not in court for supervision or drug testing fees. Separate issues. (Customary when talk about ...) If there for violation of probation. MDOC did not bring this forward, the court brought it. (Judge continued it?) Yes, the court-ordered moneys. Not sure I was there that day. Possibility. Not normally there on day for citations of contempt. I don’t have a record of that day, myself. 1:15

KELLY - REDIRECT

(KELLY - Does MDOC have anything to do with court costs?) No sir. (Document - citation. What is this?) I’ve seen it in the  le. Probation  le. (What is alleged in citation?) Failed to pay remainder of $594. Nothing to do with MDOC. (Does MDOC have anything to do with preparation of document?) No sir. (Other charges?) Yes - habits, supervision fees. (Remember anything about Howell’s citation?) I don’t know for sure if I was there. (Remember any comments about Howell before court?) No sir. (Were you his supervising o cer?) No (Know who Marlon Howell was?) Only from past experience. Saw him come in to report to house arrest o cer. No contact with him. (Normally not at court days? Why not?) That is a court proceeding that MDOC not usually involved in.

HOOD - Before we rest, have some polygraph results ... RICHARDSON - OBJECTION... OBJECTION... DO NOT COMMENT OVER OUR OBJECTION.

JUDGE - What do you intend to do with it? HOOD - Consider calling a witness. JUDGE - YOU DO THAT.

WAIDE - Somebody ought to be in there with the Attorney Gen. Considering everything that’s gone on here. JUDGE - YESTERDAY, allowed it because of confusion. Not going to allow that. RICHARDSON - Did the court not say we couldn’t bring a witness that ... didn’t we do a general sequester for all witnesses? HOOD - SHE’S BEEN released.

JUDGE - SHE HAS NOT BEEN RELEASED. HOOD - She was up there during a break, we said can’t talk to her.

JUDGE - My position on that - brief says no witness shall discuss testimony with any other witness. Rule invoked and she’s sequestered. Does not restrict lawyers from talking to witness. Same oath, ethical considerations as o cer of the court not to tell somebody what to say on the witness stand. Certainly can discuss issues of case with your witness, except while on witness stand. I know of no restrictions. Just can’t tell them what to testify to.

WAIDE - Only exception. This is a witness relating to contradictory testimony. (Judge - I didn’t know who witness is.) HOOD - Terkesia Pannell is who this is. This is a rebuttal witness. Trying to interview her on rebuttal.

RICHARDSON - Clearly they polygraphed her. Not on record. That’s what they did. It will intimidate her.

WAIDE - throughout hearing, lots of concerns about intimidating witnesses. This one while on stand did say contradictory or confused things. Your honor was concerned and said neither of us to talk to her. She’s subject to being in uence when she’s not been talked to.

JUDGE - WHEN I SAID WHAT I SAID, I DID not want it to appear undue in uence on that particular witness. Concerning intimidation ... undue in uence, it’s been about police intimidation. This being same witness, even tho rebuttal, I don’t want record to show any intimidation from either side. I don’t want that chance out there. Not sayng you would. (to Hood) Better to follow same procedures with this witness.

HOOD - Ask Baili  to go and me ... I only have a couple of questions. Or in chambers. I’ve never been prevented from calling a rebuttal witness. Only reason for that ruling yesterday on her was that we took a break. It’s part of the state’s case is to rebut. I should be able to see in private, not with defense attorney there.

WAIDE - Here ... to get to the truth. We’ve got a witness instructed not to talk to anybody. Reasons for your honor’s instructions.

JUDGE - Just like yesterday. Put the witness on. (Hood - so defense counsel can go with him. Is Waide allowed to ask questions?) No. He’s there to observe. 1:28

(PAUSE WHILE HOOD TALKS TO PANNELL IN WITNESS ROOM... WITH WAIDE PRESENT) 1:32 - HOOD, WAIDE BACK IN COURTROOM

WAIDE - Would like to relate what happened in witness room. He said to her, do you know penalty for perjury? She kept repeating she told truth. He confronted her and said she failed the polygraph. He was trying to intimidate her and I stopped it. (Judge - to Hood, are you a witness? Richardson - no. Waide - we can call him in rebuttal.)

RICHARDSON - Asks for a few minutes to go over everything that’s happened. Judge grants them time to confer out of courtroom. 1:34

1:42 - WAIDE - We’re ready to proceed, we have rebuttal. We remove the motion. WAIDE - CALL LEONARD SANDERS SANDERS - Richardson’s investigator. (Still under oath, judge says.)

(WAIDE - Background stated earlier. Said you interviewed several witnesses. On each occasion, was someone else present?) Had someone else every time. That’s right. (Show him Brandon Shaw’s a davit - Exhibit 31 - Is that your notarization and signature?) Yes it it. (Aug. 3, 2005 - your sig?) Yes. (Present when eh signed it?) Yes, I was. (Remember whether you saw Shaw on this or another occasion?) Saw him 2 times. (Remember  rst time?) He says essentially what’s here. No recorded. Just notes. (Remember where it was signed?) Think ... at his apartment in Sherman, MS. (First time?) At detail shop in New Albany.

(Your best memory - when signed it?) On second visit, I believe. (In independent memory of  rst meeting?) He was at work at car wash. As I recall, he wanted to wait until he had a break, which we did. Billy Richardson, Joel Morris and me. (Ask to talk to him?) Yes. (Tell judge what happened.) Billy Richardson principally did interview. I didn’t ask anything. What’s re ected in a davit, what he said. On second occasion, chie y to get it signed. (Remember how long interview lasted?) I don’t ... second was not long. First might have been 30-40 minutes, not sure. (While there, did you see any intimidation of him?) Not at all.

(Was money ever discussed in those interviews?) No it didn’t. (Did you see Richardson give him money?) No. Nothing like that occurred. (Remember whether ... did he read it before he signed it or what?) It was read to him. Whether he read to himself, I don’t recall. (Who?) Billy Richardson read it to him. Heard him do so. Before he signed it. (Signature at bottom of statement?) Don’t recall. I was present when he signed it. Not sure if had my notary with me then.

(What’s your practice of swearing?) I know he was asked if contents were true, to the best of his knowledge. Don’t recall if we asked him to raise hand and swear.

(What about Charles Rice?... HOOD - OBJECT. We asked Rice about whether he was pressured.)

(Waide - shows him 2 statements, one handwritten other typed. Are these yours?) Yes. June 7, 2005 and June 9, 2005 dates. (Notary stamp on both?) Yes. Went to both. (Who present?) Billy Richardson, Joel Morris, his wife or  ancee and me.

(Where interviews?) Yes. At residence o  Hwy 370 in Itawamba County... East Union. Near Tippah and Union. Wife, if she was his wife then. (Remember purpose of handwritten and then typed? Why handwritten copy?) As I recall, handwritten was when we  rst interviewed him. Didn’t have notary with me at that time. He signed. Second, was to give cleaner copy basically. Had notary with me on second. Went back to my o ce and stamped  rst one. I’m sure I asked him if he understood and approved contents. (Was it read to him too?) Yes.

(Exhibit 23 - A davit of Pannell ... 3-4 pages. Were you present when she wa sinterviewed?) Yes. Interview was Joel Morris and me, made notes. Richardson not at  rst interview. (At time ...) I don’t recall his being at second interview. He probably was, but can’t say positively. Sure he was at  rst. (Any di erence in two statements?) No, no di erence. In fact, second she signed - done from  rst. (Are these statements she told you?) Yes, she did. Because preparation was from notes of  rst interview. (Did you do anything to intimidate or threaten her?) No. (Tell her to change her story?) No. In fact, she seemed very comfortable talking to us.

(When she was giving a davit... did you know if it was her personal knowledge or that someone told her?) I do remember. She stated it as if she witnessed these events. Nothing said about hearing from someone else. (Questions and answers?) Just what’s in a davit. Nothing di erent. 1:58

HOOD - (Anybody talk to you before you came to testify today?) No. (Not since you testi ed the other day?) We met brie y yesterday afternoon, and when they got to point about other things, I stopped them. Said I don’t want to hear it. We talked about these a davits. Haven’t been told what any other witness has said. (Your paid to be here?) I hope so. (How much?) Normal rate $70/hour. (How much total?) I don’t know... probably $30,000-$40,000... I really don’t know.

(You said both times with Brandon Shaw ... said each 20-3o mins?) First was, not second. (In Sherman?) Probably 15 minutes. (See his mother and wife in Sherman?) His mother, I don’t remember anyone else. (Can’t dispute he had witnesses there?) I think his mother was there. Can’t dispute it. (How many with you then?) Took two - Richardson and Morris. (At car wash, same 3 folks?) That is correct. (You say 20-30 minutes?) Max 45 minutes. I had no reason to time it. (He was washing cars?) Not while we were talking to him. (Tell him who you were, who working with or on behalf of?) I didn’t. Billy Richardson did the talking.

(Did you hear Richardson say he was representing Marlon Howell?) Yes. I know he did. I can’t say exact words. We would make clear who we were and why there. (Did you introduce yourself?) I’m sure I did. (Did you?) I would have to say I did because that would be the routine. I don’t remember that. I know he was made aware who we were representing. (Routine as notary... you can’t say for sure?) That’s right. (Can’t remember if you swore him in, but remember introducing yourself to Brandon Shaw?) I’m not notarizing the contents, only his signature. Knew they were aware of the contents. (You don’t say you’re a notary?) Yes, I did.

(Document shows ... writing at bottom and stamp. Put that after left?) Stamp on there after I left. Written while I was there. (Write that before or after he signed it?) I wrote it out and he signed it. (Remember that?) That’s what I would do, period. If I don’t have seal with me, I would write it out and place seal on when I get back to o ce. (You’re talking generally about what you do. What happened that day? You swore you wrote it out before Brandon Shaw signed it?) As far as I remember doing it, I don’t. It would be an exception if I didn’t.

(Who wrote that statement?) Billy Richardson. His handwriting. (You say he read it back to Brandon Shaw?) Yes. If you saw his handwriting, you can see why he read it back to him. (But when he read, do you know if it was on the paper or he just said something?) I know it contains what he said. (Were you there the whole time during this interview? In their presence?) Yes. (Did they walk around building?) That’s where we were. Don’t remember if he was washing cars when we got there or not. It’s been 8 years.

(So, admit not putting Shaw under oath?) Say I probably did not. I asked him, are contents true to the best of your knowledge. (If he told you about somebody committing murder, would you have written it down?) Sure. (Don’t you remember he said it was not Ray or Lipsey to murder, it was Howell?) No. (But you remember parts now?) Yes. If he’d said remembered .... who shot, I would have remembered that. (Did Billy say something about man on death row?) Words to that e ect. (Brandon didn’t want to talk.) Not true, he wanted to keep working until he had chance for a break. He was doing something with a vehicle. (So Morris. Is he here?) No. (From N.C.?) Yes. (Did he introduce himself to Shaw?) I don’t remember, but I know the three of us were done by each of us or Billy.

(Small talk about beginning of conversation?) A few minutes, probably. 2-3-5 I don’t know. (How many times did you see Shaw?) Two. (Sure?) Yes. (Another investigator?) One, I suppose. (Morris?) Had that one, now he has another. WAIDE - INTERRUPTING.

(How many investigators did he have working on case?) Three, I know of. (So, you don’t know how many times Billy R. went to talk to him?) No. (What about other investigators?) I’m quite certain that I know. (You don’t know how many went to Brandon, you just know how many times you went?) Correct. (You said you believed Shaw signed statement on second time?) It was the second time. (Any females there at any time with Shaw, brought by defense counsel?) No. (So, now ... think about it. .. did meeting go beyond 45 minutes?) If you want me to be exact, I cannot. I had no reason ... didn’t have a stopwatch. (Making notes?) Not at that meeting., (At second?) No. At  rst, I may or may not. But at second, I did not.

(Se when asked yesterday about your statement... when you stopped them... did you not go back to  les about statements?) No, only looked at a davits. (Billing records for that day?) Don’t think I have them from 8 years ago. (What did y’all do that day when interviewing Shaw?) I don’t remember every day 8 years ago. (Remember this?) Yes. (Don’t remember if interviewed anybody else?) No I don’t. (Remember conversation about death penalty with Brandon Shaw?) The main thrust was to  nd out what Shaw knew back in 2000. Little about Marlon Howell. May have been mentioned but not dwelling on it. Just trying to get the facts, the thrust of the meeting. (Don’t recall Billy to say he’d pay him for his time?) No, nothing about money or payment was mentioned. (What about helping him?) No.

(On Charles Rice, two interviews?) Actually, three if you count ... with Kent present. (At both, not one in New Albany... You brought your  les of statements?) Yes, I did. (Who told you to do that?) Nobody. (Referring to Exhibit 4 - for defense) Sixteen, I believe. (Rice statement, handwritten? Did you write that?) No. I don’t recall. (Who was there?) Same as already said. Melody, Joel Morris, Billy R and me. (Who’s Melody?) Rice’s wife. (Was woman with you?) His daughter was here at some point. Don’t think she was at this, but not sure. Billy Richardson’s daughter. Maybe female secretary of his. Don’t remember which one. (Stamp on bottom. Did he sign with stamp?) No. (Did you swear him under oath, raise right hand?) Probably not. He ...

(How long there when got his statement,... somebody to write it?) He agreed to sign it. We were there maybe an hour. In afternoon. (Did you stay til dark?) I don’t think so. (Are you confused?) No. (Rice said you stayed until dark?) I would dispute ... (Did he say he was getting married?) Yes, said in near future. Again, don’t profess to remember everything. Said married soon. (Was he trying to get rid of y’all?) No. (Call you and tell you to comer over there?) No, he did not. (Did you call and say coming?) I don’t remember. We had hard time to  nd him. (Dodging you?) Don’t think he knew we were looking for him. (He says it lasted until dark.) I can’t dispute it but I don’t know what time we got there. Said mid-afternoon we got there. I don’t remember the time. No reason to remember. We had trouble  nding him.

(Second a davit - typewritten of Charles Rice. Taken June 9, 2005 - two days later. Why go back when he was about to hve a wedding?) He made comment like he was getting married ... wasn’t a big deal. Living with woman several months. Was not like the wedding you or I had. (Why say that?) With bridesmaids and  owers. I took it he was going to justice court judge or something. He said ... interpreted it that way. He didn’t make a big deal of it. (Any di erence in  rst statement and second one?) Not much di erence. (What reason for going back and doing it again?) I don’t know the reason. Probably to have cleaned up copy. (Whole lot better than Brandon Shaw. You can read this.) Agree. (Just trying to  gure out why you’d go back.) (Did you put Rice under oath to sign?) Probably not. But I made sure he understood the contents.

(Are you talking about general practices or advising him he was sworn under oath?) I am not going to say I remember it, but I don’t think I ever notarized anyone’s signature without advising him.

(Look at statement .... D Exhibit 22 - Terkesia Pannell statement Sept. 15, 2006. Is that what you have?) I do, but not September. (February 15, 2006.) ( You were there?) Yes. (Who else?) Joel Morris, Billy R and me. (This one taken... how many times y’all saw her?) Two times. We made notes  rst time and a davit prepared from those notes. Then we went back. (When  rst time?) Not precisely, within a few days. Don’t recall how long it lasted. Less than an hour. (Meeting?) Her apartment in Tupelo. (Bring notes with you?) No. I didn’t bring anything but these a davits. (You have  le on this case?) Yes. (Only interview that day in Tupelo?) In this case. I might have had others. (Would you hours billed show how long it lasted?) Would show how much I charged for that day. Not how long actually with her. (She met with you as long as she wanted?) Sure it was less than an hour. She was very cooperative. We introduced ourselves. Gave us information, we made notes and left. (Talked to her about death penalty?) No. We mentioned but spent little time discussing. She knew what we were there for. We made her aware when we  rst arrived.

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(When she signed a davit. Did you read it to her?) I think Billy R did. (Did give her chance to read it?) Yes. (She said a lot of it was not true. Does that surprise you?) Yes, it does. (Did she ever say anything of bene t to the state of Mississippi?) She was not very complimentary of way state handled this manner. (Exculpatory evidence ... would ahve helped us? Say Marlon was at her house that night?) Yes, she said he was there but she was not there when he came back after shooting. (Where are notes from her interview?) I have not seen them. I don’t have them. (Would it help if you knew what they said before?) Yes. But if you look for truth, we didn’t are what she said before. She gave these comments. We did not put words in her mouth. (You don’t care what she said before - that’s way to tell if she’s telling the truth.) Yes.

(You testify ... more important than sitting on your couch.) I understand but what she said before didn’t matter to me. (Don’t you think when talking to law enforcement, it would be important what said? Heighten your awareness for the truth?) Truthfulness is truthfulness. (Don’t know if she was telling truth that day or not?) I don’t know if anybody’s telling truth. She seemed honest, totally aware of our purpose. She told us to the best of her ability - what it seemed like. (Never observed her saying something that wasn’t true?) I am not sure ...

(Hood - when you went out and interviewed these three - Rice, Pannell and Shaw - did you ever go back and read trial transcripts?) No, I have not. (Ever read statements to law enforcement?) I don’t think I have, not any of them. (So, Richardson was asking questions?) WAIDE - REPETITIVE. SUSTAINED. (Did you ask any questions?) With Terkesia, I asked most. Some with Rice. Brandon, I did not. (You don’t know what said previously?) Yes. (Did you or Billy R provide these witnesses of transcript of prior testimony prior to asking questions?) I didn’t. I have no reason to believe Billy R did. Not in my presence, no. 2:40

HOOD - Your honor, that’s all we have. JUDGE - ANY REDIRECT? WAIDE - NO.

JUDGE - Court reporter needs a break. Lawyers organize your thoughts. No more witnesses? RECESS 2:41

•• • 11:50 POST

NEW ALBANY – State witness Brandon Shaw said he didn't consider it a bribe when a defense attorney o ered him $20 "for his time" to get a statement when he stopped work at his car wash.

But later, Shaw said the attorney told him he'd do "whatever it takes" for another statement later.

Shaw is a state witness in an evidentiary hearing, which began Wednesday, about whether Death Row inmate Marlon Howell will get a new trial or have his 2001 conviction overturned on constitutional issues.

Howell was convicted in the 2000 shooting death of David Pernell in New Albany.

(Brandon Shaw continues on witness stand. Below is rest of running account of questions and testimony. Please excuse the typos and glitches likely as I type rapidly.)

10:03 - JUDGE BACK.

(Hood continues questions - To Shaw ... Adds him Exhibit 16. May 16, 2000... How did you give that statement. What happened/) WAIDE - Asks who he’s talking about. HOOD - That’s not proper. (HOOD - What time of day when gave statement?) 2:13. (How to police dept.?) I went there, drove there. I wanted to get everything clear... I didn’t have anything to do with it. What I heard, took .... Got home and dropped Marlon o . Talked to Kecia brother, girlfriend. Said trying to get Curt and get to bottom. Man had been killed. (Then?) Don’t remember... but we all got together, talking. They said don’t know why he shot him. JUDGE - STILL SAYING THEY. SAY WHO TALKING ABOUT.

SHAW - Me, Curt talking - he shot him, said trying to rob him. I begged them to come with me and tell law enforcement. They didn’t. I was leaving, they ran and jumped in with me. We all came down there. (What do?) Give statement. (What tell them?) Talking, what happened. I told them. Took him home. They put me in police car and lineup in a few minutes. Called Blue Mountain, had to cross over to di erent county and pick him up. Showed them where I dropped him o . Later, somebody picked him up.

(Hood - remember another time defense lawyer talked to you? Shows him document, transcript.) (Shaw is reading it.) I said I really don’t know where he is. (Date?) March 1, 2001. (Investigator for defense lawyer?) I can’t remember. (Hood - move to introduce transcript, taken by Duncan Lott investigator. Also to number statements.) WAIDE - Asks to speak with Hood ... I said don’t object, but would like opportunity to read over and make sure it’s what he told us. JUDGE - SAID he talked to somebody and didn’t know who he was talking to. WAIDE - counsel satis ed.) Judge gives him permission to number the statements, in lower right-hand corner.

(Hood - Second statement, law enforcement ... another document, recognize?) Remember, investigator showing it to me, Think it was Monday. (Read date) Thursday ... signed it. (Did you write all that?) No, I didn’t. (Hood - move to introduce marked statement from Duncan Lott, the transcript. Total 16 pages, plus cover with Lott letterhead.) (Hood - statement just talked about, dated Aug. 3, 2005. Move to introduce Shaw statement.) WAIDE - No objection, already in. (Hood - Exhibit 18 - 2005 statement. Who did you give it to?) My understanding, Marlon’s lawyer (points to Richardson?) WAIDE - Does he remember who was there. JUDGE - LEADING. (Who was there?) Lawyer, the one with the glasses on. (Hood - Indicates Billy Richardson.)

(Hood - was he there... where?) I can’t remember, he talked to me so many times. (How long talked?) Shhh... 4-5 hours, maybe 6 hours. Long time. (What was longest?) In Sherman. 4-5 hours. (When you signed it?) Believe it was. (He’s reading it, not very well.) Nobody especially Marlon  rst attorney ever ask me about the case. (HOOD - Said he wants to say something he never said before. Did you say that?) No. (Why did you sign this?) Each time, they came, they were recording or writing. He would be talking, have somebody else writing. Asked me to sign, didn’t say it was statement. Said was to say you talked to me. (Did he say a davit?) No. (Know what notary is?) Yes. (Have one?) No. Not sworn.

(Hood - Did your read this?) No, not until Monday afternoon when I talked to the detective. (Let’s go through it. First paragraph ... your honor, do you have a copy of this?) (Judge says no. WAIDE - SAYS IT’S No. 31.) (Hood -  rst paragraph.. I’m going to read it to you. You comment on it... Says Marlon had shirt wrapped around his hand, made me think he had a gun he was hiding. Surprised when he got out of car at his house. He had no gun. Is that correct?) It’s true. (When you told him that ... did you also say what you saw and observed about him that night?) I told him everything. (Second... I asked Curt and Adam where the gun was at... they said behind house near the shed... how I knew to tell police where it was at. Correct?) No, didn’t say gun was behind the house. I expected myself he might have put it back there. I asked them, they didn’t know. (When saw him?) I was coming out of the house to take him home. (So, that’s not true?) No sir. (Who took that?) WAIDE - OBJECT. OVERRULED.

(Who talking to?) Points to Richardson. (Statement 4 ... Never heard Marlon say he shot him.) True. (Never known Marlon to be violent. Did you tell him what Curt said in living room and he didn’t deny it?) Yes sir. (Never known him to be violent.) Correct. (He mentioned only wanting to rob him ... meant to say sell someone some fake drugs or trick them. Police never knew this.) WAIDE - OBJECTION, MINE DIFFERENT. (Hood - let’s go to ... Never mentioned robbing. Meant to say sell fake drugs or trick them. Is that true?) No. (Why say that?) We talked about that. Guy at convenience store. That was before we got to my house, that night. Night before the murder. (When? Night before murder?) Yes sir.

(Hood - Who talking about ... why stu  in there about fake drugs?) Just talking, sometimes writing, sometimes not. (He said couldn’t they just mean to sell fake dope or trick somebody?) I said, he wasn’t meaning it that way. He was meaning to rob somebody. (You mean “easy lick”?) Yes, what he said. (Trying to get you to say something else?) I didn’t tell them this here. I told them ... we were riding along. At gas station, I said something to guy at pump. He said, that’s an easy lick, we can rob him. (Continue... I would have said Marlon didn’t mean robbery. Is that true?) No, not true. Didn’t write that, tell them that.

(Hood - robbery with gun?) I didn’t see no gun. (Hood continues - reads.. my girlfriend refused to testify. Police putting pressure on her despite ... to do so. Kept trying together to say she heard Marlon say he killed Mr. Pernell. What’s truth?) That’s not true. I don’t know what they said when they talked to her. She told me she told police she didn’t hear anything or see anything. She was in her room. (She says in here ... trying to get her to say something. Remember wanting her to testify?) No. I don’t know. Only that at trial, something in the hall or something. (You were in the hallway?) Somewhere.

(If Ms. Pannell were to say she was trying to tell somebody at court that you told her Curt and Adam committed the murder, is that true?) No. Never told me that. (Ever know... see if she talked to defense attorney?) I don’t know. (She tell you anybody told her to leave court?) No sir. (Living together then?) Yes, o  and on. (Go to No. 8 - when I took Adam and Curt to police station, they were intoxicated and high ... in no condition to give statement or talk. Smell alcohol. True?) That’s a lie. Didn’t tell him that. (Condition?) They weren’t no drunk or high state. They were upset. (At station?) At station, can’t remember time. (What about police statement, time?) 6:03 p.m. (When went?) Think we were there before that. (Maybe mid-day?) Maybe.

(Hood - No. 9 ... police kept trying to get me to say I saw a gun and that Marlon shot someone, needed to rob someone. Is that true?) No. Didn’t threaten me. Said no, didn’t see a gun. That he had hand wrapped around. Thought it was a gun. Never said so. (Pressured to make you say something utrue?) Didn’t say that. (... they said Marlon telling on us... made Curt and Adam very mad.) Not correct. Part we said Marlon wasn’t there. Did not tell them that. (No. 11 ... facts are I don’t now who shot Mr. Pernell) That’s true, I don’t. (... Adam and Curt said where gun?) No. (... reads more of statement...) Only thing they stated, police, that Marlon and Curt had already gave statement. They asked who else was there. Said positive it wasn’t me. I told them. When they took statement, we went in police car to show where I dropped him o .

(reading ... never saw Marlon with gun and didn’t remove hand until we got to house?) True. (Police put pressure you my girlfriend.) Not true. She never told me that. (Document ... 4/4/2013) (Hood shows document to Waide then takes it) (Hood - shows to Shaw) One I signed Monday. 4/4/13 ... read statement. First closer to what happened. One defense took was not told way I said it. Don’t have problem taking lie detector test, or to testify again about what I said.

(Hood - when you say that defense statement wasn’t told by way I said?) They lied about it. (Intro statement of 4/4/13 of Brandon Shaw.) (Now, at time, if Kecia Pannell said you were on probation at time murder occurred?) That is a lie. (Tell judge what had happened, committed a crime.) I was 16 when charged ... grand larceny. Me and friend stayed across tracks in a house. Guy getting RR ties o  side of railroad. Him and another loading them up. We seen it, asked what doing. He said, anybody can get them. In daylight, we weren’t trying to steal. Took them and scrapped them. Lady at scrap yard, knows me and could have told me. She called my mom that they were  ling charges. Police called and said come talk to them. Didn’t even have time to cash the check.

(Remember if you pleaded guilty to this charge?) I think I did when I was 16. Hired a lawyer, Farese. (How old when pled?) I think 21. (So at time, you weren’t on probation?) No sir. (If Kecia says she peeked out of room and saw somebody, is that true?) WAIDE - OBJECTION. JUDGE - MISSED FIRST PART OF QUESTION. (Hood repeats question ... can’t remember. (Did Kecia ever come out?) No. (If she had could she see anybody in living room?) No. (Said you never told her anything about who committed murder. Why did she say that?) I don’t know. (Has she ever lied to you?) Sure, many times. WAIDE - OBJECT. SUSTAINED.

(Live with Pannell how long?) 6-7 years. (Do you have opinion about her truthfulness?) No sir. Problems numerous occasions with di erent situations. My own daughter ... so much con ict between us at time of break-up. Not at time of murder, maybe year later. My wife left and we had so many problems, you know. (You have other convictions?) No.

10:47 - WAIDE TO QUESTION.

(Waide - I met you when ... wanted to ask me a question?) Yes. (First, ask something you said. Did police accuse you?) They asked if I was involved. (What told them before that?) Hadn’t told them nothing before. At  rst, talking to Adam and Curt. Said them separated, me too. (You and Adam are cousins?) Suppose to be. (You and several went to Tupelo that might?) Yes, and Marlon. (Had been out with them before?) Yes. (Friends?) Good friends, drinking, smoking and partying. (Back to what police said - said they asked you if you had something to do with it?) Wanted to now my role in murder. (Tell you anybody accused you?) No. (That Howell said Adam and Curt did it?) He wasn’t there. I told them Howell was involved when he came to my house. They asked if I knew where he stayed. They put me in police car and I showed them where I dropped him o .

(What did police say about your involvement?) Nothing besides taking Marlon home. (Relationship with Adam, Curt ... went out and drank and smoked?) We came up from kindergarten together. Went out all the time. Hung around together, them and a couple more friends. (What time did you and Adam, Curt get together that night?) First seen them earlier that night. At house with my Mom, playing cards - lot of folks. Don’t know what time. (Girlfriend? That overheard conversation with lawyer?) Yes. (She’s here?) Yes. (To corroborate?) No, not witness. Just her with me. (She’s in courtroom?) Yes. (But you say she heard about this?) She already knew.

(That night, ran into Marlon and picked him up?) Yes sir. (How often in Tupelo with Marlon?) Never had. (At some point during night ... according to what you said ... you stayed at home while other three left?) Early in the morning. I was in bed at that time. First got back from Tupelo, smoking weed and stu . (Curt and Adam?) Yes, and Marlon. (High?) Yes. (Three left you didn’t go?) Yes, left in blue Cutlass, Adam’s grandmother’s. Me and Kecia got into it... said I spent most of evening with them. (Car in at murder?) Yes, Adam, driving. (Didn’t you partiipate when Adam took car back?) No. (What happened to that car?) I don’t know. (You didn’t follow them?) No. Took them in my brother’s. (You’re saying, after did not go with them, people left. You stayed. Later, then came back?) Early that morning. (Adam said Marlon shot somebody?) Yes sir. (Then Marlon said nothing?) No. (Neither Adam or Curt said they didn’t have anything to do with it?) Well, didn’t say they didn’t have anything to do with it. Adam driving car.

(What did Adam say about Curt?) Curt was on back seat of car. All I know, what they told me. (Adam said Marlon committed murder. Didn’t say anything?) No, all he said was he wanted to go home, asked me to take him home. (Know murder was about 5:15?) I guess. (Didn’t have somebody to pick up at 6:00?) No. ((Whose gun was it?) I don’t know. (You went and told police where gun was?) NO, I didn’t. They went behind looking for it. (You didn’t say back there?) No.

(You took Marlon home ... that morning... knowing or beentold he committed a murder?) I was scared. Thought he had a gun. Hadn’t seen it. (When took him home, not scared?) No. (Got home and called police?) No I didn’t. (You didn’t think murder was committed?) Didn’t know, said shot somebody. (You and Adam and Curt dropped Marlon o  at house?) Can’t remember both of them in car. (Didn’t you say you took them home?) Yes. (Must have been with you when took Marlon home to Blue Mountain?) Yes, must have been. (So you three knew you dropped o  murderer?) Yes. (Three of you, not one suggested calling police?) (You’re telling court you dropped o  man people said killed somebody. After you dropped him o  .... HOOD OBJECTIONS..... Waide - only said Marlon shot him ... as a good citizen, you should call police unless you were involved?) I wasn’t. I said, I don’t now who was involved in what. Never seen the gun. All I know was he had hand wrapped up, assuming he had gun. (After dropped o Marlon, claim you took Adam and Curt home?) Yes.

(What did y’all talk about?) They both said, don’t say nothing. (What were you saying?) Going to let police know, if you don’t turn yourself in. (Being a good citizen?) What? (You were trying to put in on Marlon?) I don’t know. I wasn’t there. Either one could have shot him. I don’t know. I said that a thousand times. I don’t now who shot the man. (Did you tell police that?) Yes. (Did you talk to them about going to police?) Curt and Adam? Yes sir. (What were you talking about?) Curt or Adam ... I don’t now. (You went to one of their houses and talked about this?) Yes ... not just us. Seems like girls around. (Tell Ms. Pannell what they told you?) Yes sir.

(So, you did tell her you had information about shooting?) No, they told me Marlon shot somebody. (Signed police statement/) Yes sir. (How long .. you and Adam and Curt talked about it?) Not too long. (When talking, did you say... let’s say Marlon did it?) I wasn’t there. He told me. We weren’t discussing. All theys aid was Marlon shot him, don’t know why. (Did you think that by telling police that Marlon did it, it would get you out of trouble?) Didn’t tell them Marlon did it. (Other than telling them Adam was driving car, tell them anything else?) No.

(At trial, you and Pannell?) I said in the hall... long time ago. (What did you see? She was in witness room but didn’t stay for trial?) HOOD - Said he was hallway. (Did Pannell stay for trial?) I don’t know. (Saw her up here?) Yes. (Living together?) O  and on.

(After trial, did y’all talk about trial?) Not really. We talked but no big discussion. (What did you say about the trial?) I don’t know. (Never talked about whether she testi ed?) I know she didn’t. I don’t remember her being a witness. (She ride with you?) She picked me up at work. (If she left, you wouldn’t have a way home?) NO, work right there. (Remember anything you and Pannell talked about trial?) Not really. no extent.

(Waide - statement DA showed that you gave went over and said a lot wasn’t true? Have you seen it before?) Yes,  rst time was Monday. One DA gave it to me. (Went over it?) Asked me about it. (When you told them about lawyer?) No,  rst time I walked to Jimmy Hood... whatever ... (when  rst told lawyer was pressuring you?) An investigator.

(Let me try to understand statements ... when lawyer was there, was someone else with him all the time?) Yes. (Same one?) No. (Person with, was taking notes?) Not always doing same thing. (One time gave you $20?) Yes. (Only time money came up?) Only time he ever gave me money. (When you talked to yesterday... you said?) Said me and my brother were sitting here all day Wednesday, yesterday and now.... told them, sure would be nice to get a check sitting here all day. Brother said.... I was making a joke. He never responded to me and smiled. And then, another investigator ... I don’t know who everybody is ... investigator came down and said to come back Saturday. I said, really? He said no, just playing.

(Where you were then $20 came?) At car wash. (First time met lawyer?) Yes. (How did $20 come about?) Well, he came to me. Didn’t let me know he was a lawyer. Thought he was an investigator. Didn’t know who they were. (Explaining ... at car wash...  rst time to talk to him and someone else... gave you $20?) Yes. (Also asked people up here for money to compensate your time. Did you bring up $20?) He did. He said, here’s $20 for taking up your time. I’m holding you back from doing your business. (You said talked to him 5-6 hours?) Yes sir. (First time, couple of hours?) Yes. (Day you gave statement?) Don’t know any time I gave a statement. (Take $20?) Yes. (Thought you were being bribed?) No, no bribery going on at the time. At time, brother and me washing cars. He came to talk about Marlon trial. Thought that was over. He said naw. Going for re-trial. Never made clear who he was. Said wanted to talk to me. Thought he was investigator. I said didn’t have nothing to say. Kept wanting to talk to me. Told him testi ed about what happened. Then, he said, don’t you know man’s on Death Row over this. I told them he made me feel kind of guilty. Understanding.. I don’t believe in death penalty. So, I talked to him. He said here’s $20 for your time, before we took any statement of anything. (He was paying you for your time?) At the time, yes. (When you asked investigators up here for money, you were asking for compensation?) No, I was just joking. (How did you know that?) No. Making a joke.

(Did you thnik you were doing something wrong when took $20?) No, he was taking up my time. (Were you paid for false testimony?) I don’t know what me meant. (Were you being bribed to change your story?) No, not my intend. Didn’t intend to lie. (Never intended to give false testimony?) And I never did. (You never said, pay me and i might change my story?) No. sir. (Didn’t intend?) NO sir. (Never been paid for testimony, at no time?) No. (Never o ered anything other than the $20?) Yes sir. (Do you have any knowledge about AG saying defense paid you bribe?) (Tell me what you know, if anything, about Hood saying attorney gave a bribe for testimony?) No sir. Don’t now what talking about. Don’t know about charging bribe. All know is when you came in and they were saying something about a charge for a bribe. (Who said that?) I don’t now who, not sure who. Heard talking. (Heard them could be charged with a bribe?) I think you were present when it was said.

(Waide - Statement you gave and said you didn’t say it, written statement... was it after that you talked to the lawyer?) I can’t remember. I didn’t now I was making a statement, just talking to me. (You still don’t now who shot him?) No I don’t. Don’t know who did what. Only know what Adam told me.

(Have you looked at Pannell statements?) No sir. (Do you know if she signed statement ... that Adam... that you told her Adam and Kirk shot?) I didn’t tell her that. (Adam said it was Marlon who shot guy?) Yes sir. (How often did you talk to Pannell ... several times about what happened that night?) Not really., We never sat down about it. Me and my brother, we did. (You said didn’t turn gun into police?) No sir.

(Waide - show you statement of Mickey Baker .. know him?) Don’t know. (Baker says ... Ray said gun was turned in by Brandon Shaw?) Ray wasn’t present. (What do you know about the gun used in the murder?) Nothing. (You didn’t point to gun?) No. (Found at your house?) Yes. (You didn’t know anything about it?) No sir. (So, you don’t now what Pannell said?) No. (Saying it’s a lie?) No, I don’t know what she said. I’m just saying that I told her Adam or Curt shot ... she’s lying. I don’t know she would have said that. (Has anybody said Pannell told that you said Adam or Curt shot white guy?) No. (Did anybody tell you she said you told her Marlon shot white guy?) Only thing I know is they said she was giving statement trying to discredit me. One of the detectives. (That Pannell was talking bad about you?) Yes, that she said she was what was going on. (Who?) I can’t remember. I told him I don’t know why she said what she said.

(Today, you testi ed same as trial?) Yes. (Have you ever looked at trial testimony before today?) Yes, I went on line looking it up. Me and my brother. (So, before today, you knew what you said at trial?) I been knowing, it’s embedded in my head. (You don’t nkow anything about what happened?) Right. (Know they now have pleaded guilty?) Yes.

(When you took them to station, you talked to them already?) Yes. (Did you feel like if somebody was shot for no reason or for robbery, did you know could be convicted of death penalty?) Yes. (You didn’t want friends to get death penalty?) Nobody get it. (Closer to them?) No. Wanted to clarify that I didn’t have anything to do with it. Know I did take him home. So much going on. Had folks threaten me and mad at me. (Who threatened you?) HOOD - OBJECT. NO RELEVANCE TO THIS. (Waide - goes to his credibility.) Judge - don’t now he’s accused anybody in open court.

(When was it you were threatened?) Around time it happened and around trial time. Me and others had been talking about it. Folks mad I said he was at my house. I said I have no reason to lie for Marlon. I wished to God he’d never been at my house. (But you picked him up earlier?) Yes. Lot of us talking they said he was at girlfriend’s house and dad said he was at home. I said at time, neither one of those statements were true. (Everybody drinking and smoking marijuana that night?) Yes, all of us had.

(Still have statement before you? One you signed but said you didn’t read?) Yes. (No. 33, your honor. Paragraph 6 ... see that ... you say when went to Tupelo earlier, Marlon said something about a “easy lick.” What did he mean?) When he said that was an easy lick ... at the pump at the gas station... like he meant he could take him. He meant about robbing him. (Said easy lick?) I didn’t write that. (Smoking at time?) No. Just riding around. Didn’t even have none in the car with us. (Thought you said smoking that night?) We were. We’d been drinking. (Graph 8 of statement... “they” Adam and Kirk were both intoxicated and high. See that?) Yeh. Saying, this statement... not true. (drunk and high?) At some point that night. (But say this statement is a lie?) NO, I’m saying most of this I did not read, he wrote it out. (Read Graph 8... I’m going to read it to you... Is is true you took them to station?) Yes. (Says both intoxicated and high?) I didn’t say that. I do not know. I don’t believe they were. I wasn’t. (They were at time of murder?) I don’t know. I don’t know. HOOD - ARGUMENTATIVE. JUDGE .... RICHARDSON - May I consult with counsel? (They talk)

(Hood - at bottom of statement... see that?) Yes sir. (Did you see the man there during statement. Did you see him sign it?) I don’t remember him signing it. (Did he put pressure on you?) NO pressure. (Man with lawyer ... was he also asking you questions?) He was talking to him ... (Lst thing you said, no pressure, just asking questions over and over?) Talking about attorney. (Police did, but no pressure?) No. (Police ask questions over and over no pressure?) No, didn’t come at me like you see people on TV. (But lawyer?) The whole ordeal was getting on my nerves. (What’s di erence between lawyer and police?) I really didn’t want to talk to lawyers. Wanted to talk to the police. (So, really no di erence?) Yes.

(What changed your mind about talking to lawyer?) Started in about Death penalty. (Di erence in him and police?) Not too much di erence. Getting on my nerves, both of them. Besides handing me $20. 11:39

HOOD - (You said several times about $20 ... said at time, didn’t feel it was a bribe.) Didn’t at time. When came to my house in Sherman. He’d been there before, Mom said. When got home, di erent occasion. He knocked. said I was hard to  nd. Said needed to talk to me. Same thing? Yeh. We talked it’s hard to  nd you unless I wave money around. Said he gave somebody money to  nd out where you live. He made statement like I need to talk to you for statement ... I don’t mind paying for it, whatever I got to do. (Ever ask for money?) No sir. (Why not?) I knew I wasn’t going to talk to him. (When came to your house and said he’d pay, what was your impression?) Like he was trying to bribe me. Told you I took it as a bribe.

(Hood - about trial testimony. Where saw that?) Seen it numerous times. (Transcript?) Went on line. Newspaper. (Counsel asks you about defense statement in Tupelo ... about that’s a lick or something. Had he said needed money?) Yes sir. Said needs money to pay probation o cer, Marlon said. (Paragraph 8 of statement ... when took Adam and Curt to police station, they were intoxicated. When was that?) Don’t remember the time. (After lunch?) May have been.

(Hood - this statement written down for defense lawyer.. Exhibit 18 - this paragraph, true or not... that Adam and Curt drunk to police station?) To my knowledge, they weren’t drunk. Talking like me and you are now. (That’s all 11:45)

HOOD - One witness, will be very short. WAIDE - If talking about Ms. Pannell, if they want to interview her again ... they have the power to prosecute. They’ve already threatened lawyer. JUDGE - IF YOU HAVE a witness, let’s call her and put on the stand. KELLY - Witness has just arrived, wanted to confer with her. JUDGE - How long intend to examine her? KELLY - 5 minutes. ... 10 minutes at outset. JUDGE - LET’S JUST RECESS, it’s about noon. RECESS UNTIL 1 P.M.

•• •

FIRST POST TODAY:

NEW ALBANY – A state witness said this morning that Marlon Howell's lead attorney paid him for his time as the defense re-investigated the 2000 shooting death that put Howell on Death Row.

Brandon Shaw, the then-boyfriend of a Howell witness, said North Carolina attorney Billy Richardson o ered him $20 "for his time" when he  rst attempted to speak with him about the case a few years ago.

(See below an account of Shaw's testimony today and Hood's questions for him.)

Howell’s counsel seeks a new trial for him or to have the Union County capital murder conviction overturned because of alleged constitutional rights violations.

The evidentiary hearing was ordered by the Mississippi Supreme Court.

Senior Judge Samac Richardson of Rankin County, no relation to Howell’s lead counsel Billy Richardson of North Carolina, is presiding over the hearing, which began Wednesday, after all the circuit district’s judges declined to participate.

Attorney General Jim Hood was the case’s district attorney when it came to trial. On the state’s team with him are current D.A. Ben Creekmore, Assistant D.A. Kelly Luther and Assistant A.G. Jason Davis. Attorney Richardson is assisted by Tupelo attorneys Jim Waide and Rachel Pierce Waide, with support from the Mississippi Innocence Project based at the University of Mississippi.

Howell, who was seated at his counsel table, was sentenced to death after his conviction for the May 15, 2000 shooting death of David Pernell, a Daily Journal newspaper carrier. His co- defendants insisted he killed Pernell but later recanted. They were sentenced to prison on other charges.

•• •

8:50 - Hood has a motion. We ask ... that court to produce a witness today. RICHARDSON - We’re not putting her up but I think she is on her way ... probably be about 9:30. JUDGE - We;ll wait until 9:30 to see. RICHARDSON - May I inquire about what’s going on. JUDGE - Hood wanted access to Pannell. Asking where she was. Richardson - Why? HOOD - This whole hearing... operating like.. doesn’t follow courtroom procedure. Will not advise him about what I want to talk to the witness about. JUDGE - You’ve already held her to question again. Not improper to recall her.

LUTHER - She was not going to be our  rst witness. JUDGE - Weren’t going to start until 9 a.m. but if y’all are ready to go. (Attorneys - no objection.) (Judge to take a couple of minutes before starting.)

LUTHER - CALL BENNY KIRK

KIRK - Retired New Albany police o cer, retired 6 years ago. (Testi es about law enforcement experience.) In May 2000, was investigator with Tim Kent at NAPD. Called to Pernell shooting scene. (Luther - Was Howell picked up during investigation?) Yes. (Was Howell put in lineup?) Yes, around 10 a.m. May 15? (Prior to that, was he charged with murder?) No. (A davit charging with capital murder before lineup?) No. OBJECTION - LEADING. JUDGE - SUSTAINED.

(When charged?) After lineup, about 10 a.m. (When charged?) Some time that afternoon. (How long lineup take?) 20-30 minutes, don’t recall. (Did Howell ahve attorney there?) Don’t recall. (Charged, what does that mean?) Paperwork, warrant, a davits. (Before his lineup, any a davits signed?) No. (Warrants?) No. (Why not?) Well, you get your ... we needed a lineup. (Prior to lineup, did you have evidence to charge him?) No. (Did you interview any witnesses?) I was present for some. Didn’t conduct any. (Did you threaten any?) No.

9:00 - JIM WAIDE (Telling counsel that no charge until after the lineup?) Of capital murder, yes. (Held before?) Yes. (Remember when taken into custody?) Uh, we got warrant from MDOC, ppicked up that night after the incident. (Y’all had MDOC warrant for parole violaiton - behind in payments. Know how long you had that warrant?) No sir. (But behind on payments and warrant, not picked up until co-defendants made statement about the murder?) Yes. (How did probation o cer picked him up? Who?) Police and Sheri ’s Dept.

(So, once picked him up, was he free to leave?) No, MDOC had hold on him. (Why?) Because MDOC had one. Had to do whatever with parole o cer before he could get out. (You had information that he committed the murder?) Yes. (Did you take a statement?) Yes. (You’re not saying you’d take him out before going to the judge?) No. HOOD - He’s a police o cer, No foundation he had authority to release somebody from jail. WAIDE - (Without going to the judge, in your experience as police o cer ... have you ever seen two witnesses say murder and you released somebody?) No. (Didn’t happen in this case?) No. 30 years in law enforcement.

(Your opinion? Based on the codefendant statements, did you have probable cause to hold him for capital murder?) I think we did. (Needed something more solid?) Yes, lineup. (In your eyes, lineup was crucial factor to prosecute?) It helped, yes. (It was crucial, wasn’t it? You didn’t want to go with just two codefendant statements?) Yes. (You wouldn’t want to go to trial with just their statements, wanted something more solid?) Well, common knowledge to get all you could. LIne up is one of them.

9:06 - LUTHER (ASKED ON CROSS IF HOWELL WAS PICKED UP on probation violation for failure to pay his fees. Show you document, see if familiar. WAIDE - No objection.)

(Luther - Document, recognize?) Warrant for violation of probtion on Marlon Howell. (What is alleged in it?) Non-payment for fees. (Was part of this screening for drug use?) WAIDE - OBJECTION. (Failure to pay fees, no matter what?) Yes. (Did you or NAPD have any authority to release him from that probation warrant?) No. (Did Howell ... you were asked about having two statements again, then release from jail. What would you have done if Rice said he wasn’t the one?) We would have investigated more. WAIDE - OBJECTION TO SAY HE’S ASKING... LEADING. JUDGE - SUSTAINED.

(What had Rice done.. did he came forward?) Yes. He gave description of what person looked like. (Why lineup?) WAIDE - OUTSIDE THE SCOPE OF HIS KNOWLEDGE. Luther - placed importance of lineup in cross examination, whether Kirk had authority about arrest JUDGE - OVERULED.

(WHY DO LINEUP?) To make sure.... (Would you have signed warrant, a davit charging Howell if all you had was statement from co-defendants?) Yes sir. (Prepared to sign a davits before?) Myself? No.

9:11 - STATE CALLS BRANDON SHAW. Hood to question.

SHAW - 32. Self-employed, tears down houses. TEsti ed during trial. (Hood - Tell judge brie y your role night of murder.) They had came to my house, I was asleep. Ray knocked and woke us up. Said wanted to talk to him, important. May 15, 2000. In bed with Kesia Pannell. I got up. Heard disturbance. Startled. Adam told me Marlon had shot somebody. Playing? NO, for real. During time, all us present in the room, not one time did Marlon say he did or didn’t. (Appearance?) He was hysterical. His face real red.

JUDGE - Who was present?

SHAW - Adam said he committed murder. Curt con rmed it. Marlon was hysterical like something happened. Pacing back and forth. Hand under his arm. WAIDE - This is all in the record. I don’ thave problem with a summary. But going through every detail... like at trial. HOOD - Ms. Pannell attacked his credibility yesterday. Not going through every detail. JUDGE - OVERRULED.

(HOOD - So, explain what talking about defendant. What was he doing?) He had like his hand under his arm and he was packing back and forward. He had shirt wrapped around his hand. (Then what?) Then, Marlon said take me home, Blue Mountain. (Who was there?) Me, Marlon, Curt, Adam and ..... I was scared I thought he had a gun. Had his hand under his arm, Marlon did. (What do?) As I was going back Adam was behind, Curt too. I told Kecia I have to go. She asked why. I didn’ tell me, just chill out. I know how she is, would have said you’re not going anywhere.

(Why didn’t you want to tell Kecia at that time?) Marlon ...he had just shot somebody. I put my clothes on. To living room, I thought I didn’t have tag on my car. Got my brother’s car keys. I didn’t tell him what was going on. Marlon came from around house. I got in other car and took Marlon. Marcus got in car  rst. To take Marlon home. He said, don’t say nothing. 

(Then?) Came back to New Albany. Told them he said not to tell nobody. Curt, and them left. I dropped them o . My brother and Kecia didn’t know what was going on. She was awake when I got back. (In living room, talked to them?) Don’t know. Told her that I took hi home and they said he just shot somebody. (Did you say other shot him?) No. (If she were to say that’s what you told her?) She’d be telling a lie. (If she told court that you said Curt and Adam killed Pernell, that would be a lie?) Yes. sir. WAIDE - That’s question for court. JUDGE - I WON’T JUDGE HER credibility unless he contradcts her. overruled.

(HOOD - If she said she peeped out BR door?) I didn’t see that. WAIDE - LEADING. HE’S NOT SUPPOSE TO NOW WHAT SHE TESTIFIED. JUDGE - to witness, wait. OVERRULED. He said “if she said that.”

(HOOD - IN BR, could you see into livingroom?) No. (How was it set up? If somebody was in living room.) Front about 100 feet across. BR on other side of dining room. BR, door opens. Can’t see directly into living room. Mother had a cabinet... dining room right o  BR. She had a big cabinet in dining room and couldn’t see around it into the living room. She’d have to come all the way out of the room to see living room. (So, if opened door, couldn’t see who was there?) No. She’d have to come all the way to the door ... to see. (See then?) Not directloy.

(See her come out?) No. (Ask her what was going on?) Didn’t tell her anything. (Now, when you got back and told her. What time was it?) Can’t remember those details. Daylight. (What time?) Don’t know. (Said Kesia was up?) Told .. my brother, Kecia and my brother’s girlfriend. Talked about what happened. I left and went to look for Curt and Adam. Told them I was going to let o ce now what happened. It was on the new... about the murder.

JUDGE - Mr. Shaw, slow down.

(Hood - When talked with people in house, Kecia... watch TV?) Yes sir. Don’t remember who all was sitting there... about the murder. (Any questions with Kecia about who committed the murder?) I don’t know. (How long were you living with Kecia?) About 6-7 years. O  and on. (Have any children?) A daughter, she’s 11. (What about your parting, your breakup?)( We never got along. (Is she mad at you?) Yeh. (Did she ever lie?) WAIDE- LEADING. SUSTAINED.

Hood - If she told us that you tole her that Curtis and Adam committed the murder, that’s a lie?) Yes sir. (Why would she lie about that?) I don’t know. Marlon’s lawyer might have paid her. WAIDE - OBJECTION. MOTION TO STRIKE. HE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THIS,. IF HE’S GOT FACTS, HE NEEDS TO TESTIFY TO IT. HOOD - Ask him to make sttements, not talk to witness. JUDGE - He said they might have paid her. SUSTAIN OBJECTION. Supposition, guess work... sustained.

(DID THEY ever o er you money to change your testimony?) Yeh, they tried to bribe me. (Who?) I don’t know name. (How many times did someone came about giving another statement?) About 5 times. (First time, when and where?) At car wash, he came to talk to me. Didn’t want to talk. WAIDE - Ask court to instruct who did what. Who is he talking about, accusations of misconduct. JUDGE - Say who it was, what they looked like, some type of identi caiton?

Shaw - two of them. Only one I remember was guy sitting there in glasses against the wall. Third man down (POINTING TO RICHARDSON) Hood - Indicates Richardson as one who came to talk to him.

(Hood - FIRST TIME, what occurred?) Washing cars, real busy. He kept on wanting to talk to me. About Marlon Howell. (Who was it?) First time didn’t say. Thought it was state investigator. Didn’t want to talk to him. I asked what is this about? Want to get on with my life, I have people who have threatened me. I have never said Marlon shot anybody. I don’t know what he did, only he came to my house. He kept badgering. Then ... (How long?) A few minutes. Then said well, need to talk to you, man’s life on line. He’s on death row. I kind of felt guilty. I said he shouldn’t be on death row... but serve life, my opinon. (He? Who talking about?) The lawyer.

(Hood - So, after that?) I stopped washing and we talked. Went on a while, more than hour or two. He said, pulled out wallet. I’ll give you $20 for your time. Lawyer said. (Then what?) We talked. (So, didn’t sign statement hten?) Don’t know. When they talked to me, always writing or recording. He never came by himself. At my house ... (Next time?) Can’t say which. Just remember several times. (How many times?) About 5 times.

(Hood - Anybody else present when talked to you?) At shop, brother was there but didn’t hear anything. My wife was there but she didn’t hear anything. Later came to house, Mom and wife there. Can’t remember who else. At Sherman, wife and Mom there too. At Sherman, asked him how found out where I lived. Trying to get away. He said it’s hard to keep up with you. I said, not trying to be found. Spread money around, and people will tell me where you at. (How long ago was this?) In Sherman was 2008. (How long period were these 5 times with Richardson?) I don’t now. A few years.

(Hood - When mother and wife there, any conversation about money?) Yes, sir. He said wanted to talk about it, man’s life at stake. I’m willing to pay for your time. Like I want to get a statement. (How many times said paying?) A few time. Probably every time. (How did you take that?) I felt like he was trying to pay me for a statement that he wanted. Didn’t. (Signed it?) I told you and everybody else, I didnot read that paper. EVery time they came, they were writing down. Not at one time did I ever read what they wrote. He said, just sign this that I talked to you. Never did I read it.

(Hood is showing documents to Waide. Several dozen people in the audience. Includes Howell’s mother.) HOOD - They have this in discovery. WAIDE - Your honor, I can’t recall this. JUDGE - IF NEED to take a recess, I’ll do that. (Waide continues to read documents.)

HOOD - Your honor, it’s 9:40 and no Kecia Pannell. Ask for bench warrant. RICHARDSON - I’m not in charge of that. Will MacIntosh, colleague, she said 9:30. From Tupelo. Takes 20-30 minutes. She should be here any time. We thought they had two more witnesses to put on. JUDGE - AMAYBE YOU CAN contact her. Richardson - We’ll do that now. (MacIntosh leaves courtroom. Waide still reading. Says doesn’t object to any of these.)

(Hood - Document, what is this, when?) 5/16/2000. I signed it. (That your statement to law?) Yes. Move to enter into evidence. WAIDE - NO OBJECTION. Would like about 5 minute recess after direct to look at statements again. (Judge - brings them to bench to talk about it.) JUDGE - SHORT RECESS. 9:46.

[thebuckblogimo]

“What thought processes led you to the second floor of Abbot Hall in fall 1965?” he asked.

August 9, 2021

I recently had an e-mail conversation with my first college roommate, m'boy Eric, of Las Vegas, originally from dynamic Caro, Michigan. He concluded his communication with the question above. I soon banged out the answer (below). I intentionally heavied it up with details to give him some context and cause a few laughs. Then I decided to post my answer (edited for this space) because other friends and family may find it interesting and mildly amusing. So here goes:

Why MSU? That's a very good question.

The neighborhood where I grew up had dozens and dozens of young kids running up and down the streets on both sides of Tireman, the "busy street" where I lived. Some of the kids were two, three, four years older than me. Most of the "big kids" played sports and I soon found that I could hang with them. This exposed me to their humor, early rock 'n' roll, the Tigers, the Lions and "competition." All the while my ears were wide open.

As perhaps a third-grader, I got the impression from the older kids that Michigan State was considered "cooler" than Michigan. It seemed as though the Spartans beat Michigan in football almost every year. Which was basically true in those days. About a year later, in 1957, I was inside of Voltz's Drug Store (a small, cozy place on the corner of Warren and Reuter) where I often purchased pop, Popsicles, balsa wood airplanes, comic books and more. A radio was playing in the background there and I remember hearing a sports report about a speedy MSU halfback, Walt Kowalczyk, having a big game against some team. So I began to further equate Michigan State with "cool," because they had a great runner who was Polish.

The Michigan State basketball team made it to the Final Four, playing eventual champion North Carolina, that same year. (I was vaguely aware of Wilt Chamberlain, whose Kansas team played the San Francisco Dons in the other semi-final.) I was in Wyandotte that weekend with my folks (visiting friends of the family, including their son "Stash" Kornacki--gotta love those Polish names) while the MSU vs North Carolina game was on TV. The Spartans lost in overtime. All I knew was that the more I got into sports--watching it, playing it--the more the Spartans seemed like a power. I started envisioning myself attending school there. (I just assumed I'd be going to college.)

I was in the sixth grade during the 1958-59 school year. We had a wonderful, strong-on-fundamentals, progressively-minded basketball coach. (We ran laps in winter boots, used medicine balls in passing drills, wore plastic "half-glasses" that enabled you to see ahead but not see the ball when you dribbled, etc.) In those days, the metropolitan Detroit CYO was the second largest in the country (after Chicago's) with about 200 Catholic grade schools. Anyway, after winning our league championship, we advanced in a tournament of league champions to the metropolitan Detroit finals, where we lost to perennial grade school basketball power Grosse Pointe St. Paul, 22-17, at Pulaski Recreation Center in Hamtramck. (I got into a fist fight with a St. Paul kid during the first half but did not get kicked out of the game.) Now I was beginning to have delusions that I was going to be a college basketball player. As a 12-year-old who devoured basketball magazines, my top three college choices were Purdue, Bradley and Michigan State.

Two years later during eighth grade, our CYO basketball team won its league again. We got into the big metro city tournament, but lost in the westside final to Royal Oak Shrine. I don't remember the score, but we got slaughtered. The kids from Shrine were huge. They seemed like grown men. I think one kid on that team went on to play football at Michigan (his name escapes me); another guy, Jim Seymour, went on to play football at Notre Dame. Yes, that Jim Seymour of MSU-ND 10-10 tie fame. After going up against those guys, I began to doubt that I was going to be playing college basketball.

In the spring of that year, our "lay teacher," Mr. Brimo, brought in a college student, Bill Fundaro, who had graduated from St. Al's and was the quarterback of its football team when he was a senior. (BTW, you probably saw Bill sitting on a solitary chair at the backstop behind home plate at Tiger Stadium thousands of times on TV, because during most of his 50-plus years as an usher there, he retrieved foul balls off the screen and ran new balls out to the umpire). Bill talked about college life in general and Marquette University in particular, because that's where he went to school.

Meanwhile, Michigan State continued to be successful against Michigan in football. And I was picking up that coach Duffy Daugherty was as funny as a standup comedian. Just as many young kids thought U-M was the cool school during the '70s and '80s, after Bo Schembechler resurrected its football program, I thought Michigan State was that kind of place during the '50s and '60s.

I was either a sophomore or junior in high school when our basketball coach took us to East Lansing to see the state finals at Jenison Fieldhouse. The whole team, as well as friends Joe McCracken and Gary Pearson (who did not play basketball), stayed in rooms on campus at the Kellogg Center. On the first afternoon, Pearson walked through the Kellogg Center's kitchen and came back to our room with a cart stacked with trays of cream pies. But I took a walk across campus and visited what I think was known as the Big Ten Drug Store at the corner of Grand River and either Abbot Road or M.A.C. Hoo boy (a phrase I picked up from Free Press sports columnist George Puscas), that experience, walking across campus—with its old buildings, tall leafy trees and beautiful coeds--was everything I envisioned a college campus to be. I was pretty much hooked.

Early senior year, when it was time to start sending applications to college, I was at the home of my friend Garry Faja. His brother Art, a St. Al's guy who went to Wayne State, was there. So was Art's friend, Gene Balawajder, another St. Al's guy, who ran track and cross country for MSU. We started talking about “college” and Gene asked me what I planned to study. I said journalism. Gene loved Michigan State, but he said that U-M might be a better place for something like that. So the following week I went to the high school counselor's office and picked up copies of both the MSU and U-M course catalogs. I read about journalism in the MSU guide, which was clear, concise, well written. I read about J-school in the U-M guide, but I found it to be not so well organized, not particularly well written. That was it. U-M was off my list.

I had it in my head that I should apply to three schools--sort of like getting three bids on a remodeling job. If Michigan State didn't accept me, maybe I could go to one of the other schools. So in addition to MSU, my sentimental favorite, I applied to Marquette University because Bill Fundaro had made it sound so good, as well as the University of Detroit, the local school. (I applied there and not Wayne State because U-D had far superior basketball teams and produced players like All-American Dave DeBusschere.)

Well, I got accepted to all three. However, both Marquette and U-D, private schools, wanted more money to take the enrollment process a step farther. To hell with that, I thought. So I rejoiced about being accepted by MSU with my girlfriend at the time, Leslie Klein (salutatorian of our class), who had also been accepted to MSU.

The next thing I knew, in September of 1965, my Mom and Dad were delivering me to the front door of Abbot Hall in our family's 1963 Pontiac Bonneville. They left me at room 271, never to return to campus again. When I initially got there, I think you were at Wonders Hall visiting your girlfriend, Cindy. I don't recall when you came back to the room, I don't recall initially meeting you. But I do remember the moment I met our other roommate, "Bop" Roller. I asked him what his major was. I thought he said, "…egg major." So I asked again, "What did you say?" Once again I thought I heard “egg major." I said, "Okay," thinking how interesting it was that one could major in eggs...when in fact he was saying, "ag major..." Who knew he meant agriculture?

So that is the how and why of my decision to enroll at Michigan State. And I stand by my story.

[updcbc]

July 15, 2018 - “The Daring Commitment” Nehemiah 2:1-20

Click KEEP READING to read the full sermon.

Introduction

Ms. Raissa E. Robles risked her life through the might of a pen. Her book Marcos Martial Law: Never Again is a historic account of the oppressive regime of Marcos dictatorship. It won the prestigious National Book Awards in 2017. Ms. Robles made her message clear.

“On September 22, 1972, President Ferdinand Marcos imposed Martial Law through Proclamation 1081. Claiming the government was in mortal danger of being overthrown by a widespread Communist conspiracy and armed rebellion, Marcos gave himself emergency powers that put the military and police at his personal beck and call. With the stroke of a pen, the Philippines’ 10th president destroyed democracy, concentrating executive, legislative and judiciary powers in his person, removing institutional checks and balances, accountability and the citizen’s rights and liberties. For the next 14 years he would rule as he pleased by issuing decrees (which took the place of laws) that he wrote himself accountable to no one. Overnight, Filipinos lost freedom they had enjoyed for generations.” (Ibid., p. 12)

The fight for our democracy cost the bloodshed of countless Filipinos. Senator Benigno Aquino, Jr., an exile in the United States, was warned that once he returned to his homeland he will surely die. At the tarmac in the airport before making a step in his own land, he was assassinated. He was true to his word, “The Filipino is worth dying for.” And we regained our freedom through a peaceful revolution. Never again to dictatorship!

Nehemiah was a Jewish exile in Persia. In his great love for his people he decided to go back to his homeland. He was committed to restore the wall of Jerusalem and rebuild the fallen Israel. And he dared to present his plan before the Persian king (2:1-3). God moved the heart of the king (2:4-8). So the building of the wall began with divine blessing (2:9-20).

A.  The Fearsome Bravery (2:1-3)

Nehemiah was the cupbearer to King Artaxerxes of Persia. As a trustworthy royal official, his life was in great danger to foil any assassination plot to poison the king. Nehemiah faced a greater danger when he decisively appeared before the king to present his plan to build the wall of Jerusalem. This was a matter of life and death. The rebuilding of the wall could be taken by the king as a rebellion against his empire. Yet Nehemiah dared to face death to rebuild his own nation.

1. The Malady of Heart

The devastating news about the destruction of the wall of Jerusalem reached Nehemiah on the month of Nisan (November – December). He mourned, fasted and prayed as he pleaded before God for his divine favor. He made up his mind to appear before the Persian king.

“In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before; so the king asked me, ‘Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.’” (2:1-2a)

The Jewish month of Nisan is from March to April. It took Nehemiah at least three months to painfully wrestle with God in prayer until he courageously braced himself in taking all the risks of disclosing his breaking heart to the great king of Persia about his deep concern for his Jewish countrymen in his homeland in Israel. The day when Nehemiah attended to his duty for the daily provision of wine to the king, Artaxerxes noticed his very unusual sad countenance. King Artaxerxes knew Nehemiah as a faithful and delightful cupbearer. The king was greatly surprised for his servant to appear to him with a somber look on his face though he was physically well and healthy. The king pointedly described the unexplained inward agony of his servant, “This can be nothing but sadness of heart.” And he was definitely right!

Nehemiah is one among us. When we have an inner agony it manifests in our facial countenance. Since Nehemiah heard about the sad news, initially he was able to manage his own composure before the king. Yet as he internalized the suffering of his countrymen and he was consumed in his passion of rebuilding his fallen nation, it eventually worn him out until he could no longer hide the malady of his heart. The king himself confirmed it. Likewise, the people who closely know us will see and feel the great difference when we are under much stress despite all our efforts to hide and cover up our struggle within. If we are sensitive to the pain of others, a careful look to one’s face can uncover a grieving heart.

2. The Unnerving Fear

Nehemiah inwardly trembled before the great king. In great fear he remained calm and composed.

“I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, ‘May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?’” (2:2b-3)

Nehemiah resolutely stepped out of his comfort zone. He could have chosen to remain silent for personal security and self convenience. But he was heartbroken and restless until he could do something on behalf of his own people. The time had come for him to disclose his heart and deliver his message to the king. In the kingdom of Persia, the word of the king was an irreversible law. Nehemiah knew it well that whatever the king would say could spell for his life or death.

I wonder if we, like Nehemiah, have the unbreakable will to embrace the invaluable cost to stand for what is true, right and just in rebuilding the breaking principled walls of our motherland. Rebuilding a fallen nation is an offering of life for one’s own people. The brave-heart stands up!

B.  The Divine Favor (2:4-8)

Nehemiah, as a trustworthy cupbearer, was greatly esteemed by the royal king. The king trusted his loyal servant. The close bond between them made a great difference on how the king wisely and carefully addressed the bewildering and destabilizing personal concern of Nehemiah for Israel before the majestic royal officials of the kingdom.

1. The Imperial Inquiry

King Artaxerxes asked Nehemiah a direct question about his problem. In great fear, Nehemiah laid down his plan before the king. And no one could ever help Nehemiah but the LORD who is sovereign over all.

“The king said to me, ‘What is it you want?’ Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, ‘If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it.’” (2:4-5)

The idea to rebuild the city of Jerusalem was no ordinary thing. Among all the kingdoms which the Babylonians and Persians had conquered, the nation of Israel was known as a formidable and powerful people. Joshua, David and Solomon had ruled kings and conquered kingdoms in the past generations. The political foothold of Israel was indeed a potential threat to the Persian Empire. In rebuilding Jerusalem, Nehemiah was courting his own death and the national disaster for his own Hebrew people. As Nehemiah stood before the king in great fear, he entrusted his life and nation to the LORD, “Then I prayed to the God of heaven.”

 2. The Comprehensive Plan

And the LORD God moved the heart of King Artaxerxes. He honored the petition of Nehemiah and inquired of his personal movements. In the sight and hearing of the king, Nehemiah laid down his detailed plan.

“Then the king, with the queen sitting beside him, asked me, ‘How long will your journey take, and when will you get back?’ It pleased the king to send me; so I set a time. I also said to him, ‘If it pleases the king, may I have letters to the governors of Trans-Euphrates, so that they will provide me safe-conduct until I arrive in Judah? And may I have a letter to Asaph, keeper of the king's forest, so he will give me timber to make beams for the gates of the citadel by the temple and for the city wall and for the residence I will occupy?’” (2:6a-8a)

First, Nehemiah set the timetable in his governance over Judah. Based on his narrative account, he had spent twelve years as the governor of Judah (5:14) then he returned to the citadel of Susa on the 32nd year rule of King Artaxerxes (13:6). Definitely, this was the time set by Nehemiah before the king. And he had kept his word. If not, the Persian Empire could have had destroyed Nehemiah and his people because of rebellion.

Second, Nehemiah asked for safe-conduct in his travel to Jerusalem. An imperial letter sealed by the signet ring of the king would ensure for his safe travel from the unfriendly governors of the Trans-Euphrates. The peoples beyond the Euphrates River in the Palestine region were hostile against the Jews and were enemies of the Israelites. In the time of the Persian kingdom, anyone who would disregard the letter of the king would mean capital punishment.

Third, Nehemiah asked to avail of the natural resources for his great project. An authorization letter from the king to Asaph the keeper of the king’s forest would give him access in securing timber for the temple, his residence as governor and the wall of Jerusalem. All the forest and the natural resources within the kingdom belonged to the kingdom. And no one could access to them without the authorization of the king.

 3. The Divine Intervention

The daring plan and the bold petitions of Nehemiah were miraculously approved. “And because the gracious hand of my God was upon me, the king granted my requests” (2:8b). This was the sovereign work of God!

C.  The Great Project (2:9-20)

Under the sovereignty and grace of God, Nehemiah made his journey toward Jerusalem. The people in the region were greatly alarmed and sought for effective measures to oppose him and destroy his plan for the welfare of Israel. Nehemiah made a careful assessment of his great project to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. The Jews embraced the project. And the rebuilding of the wall began under the blessing of God.  

1. The Alarming Opposition

The presence of Nehemiah unsettled the people in Trans-Euphrates.

“So I went to the governors of Trans-Euphrates and gave them the king's letters. The king had also sent army officers and cavalry with me. When Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official heard about this, they were very much disturbed that someone had come to promote the welfare of the Israelites.” (2:9-10)

King Artaxerxes ensured the safety of Nehemiah. With the letter of the king in his hand, army officers and cavalry accompanied him. Such formidable imperial safe-conduct for Nehemiah stirred the enemies of the Jews led by Sanballat and Tobiah. The designation of Sanballat as the Horonite probably indicated the town of his origin, possibly Horonaim of Moab (Is. 15:5; Jer. 48:3, 5, 34) or Beth Horon in Ephraim near Jerusalem (2 Chr. 8:5). In papyri documents found at the Jewish settlement in Elephantine, Egypt, Sanballat is called the governor of Samaria. Tobiah was an Ammonite official who made a close alliance with Sanballat against Nehemiah and the Jewish people. The Ammonites came from the descendants of Lot the nephew of Abraham. In the time of the Exodus, God instructed Israel not to associate with the Ammonites (Deut. 23:3) who were hostile to Israel and became her enemies. Sanballat and Tobiah resisted Nehemiah because he came to promote the welfare of the people they hated—the Hebrew people.

We should not be surprised if we meet great opposition in our advocacy in restoring the breaking walls of truth, righteousness and justice in rebuilding our failing nation. There will always be people who will use all their authorities, powers and resources to oppose our noble cause in upholding our sovereignty, preserving our democracy and advancing the kingdom of God in our homeland. Unfortunately, there are fellow-Filipinos who seem to be patriots but prove to be enemies of the state. Like Nehemiah, we pray to the God of heaven over our homeland.

 2. The Night Surveillance

The coming of Nehemiah in Jerusalem with the edict of King Artaxerxes compelled the Jews to respect Nehemiah as a man of great authority and power to govern over his own people. Nehemiah has yet to disclose his agenda as he settled down in Judah. The first thing he did was a thorough assessment on the ruined wall of Jerusalem. And he did it himself secretly at night with few trusted associates he could have chosen to be respected elders and reputable leaders among the people.

“I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days I set out during the night with a few men. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on. By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire. Then I moved on toward the Fountain Gate and the King's Pool, but there was not enough room for my mount to get through; so I went up the valley by night, examining the wall. Finally, I turned back and reentered through the Valley Gate. The officials did not know where I had gone or what I was doing, because as yet I had said nothing to the Jews or the priests or nobles or officials or any others who would be doing the work.” (2:11-16)

Nehemiah possessed the acumen of a great architect, the skill of a strong builder, the courage of an effective administrator and the dignity of a transformational leader. Above all, he humbly feared God and fully yielded to his sovereign rule. Undoubtedly, under the grace of God, he covered the daring project of rebuilding the wall in earnest intercession.

3. The Project Began

The time came for Nehemiah to unveil the great project to his people.

“Then I said to them, ‘You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.’ I also told them about the gracious hand of my God upon me and what the king had said to me. They replied, ‘Let us start rebuilding.’ So they began this good work. (2:17-18)

Nehemiah carefully presented the vision to build Israel by focusing on the great trouble and disgrace of his people. Then he persuaded them to embrace the mission of building the wall of Jerusalem by reinforcing it with the divine intervention of God who moved the heart of the Persian king. And the Jewish leaders with the support of the people listened to the message of Nehemiah and heeded to his call. With one voice they declared, “Let us start rebuilding.” And the good work began. This was the sovereign and gracious movement of the LORD God of Israel. Like the Israelites, if we deeply share our suffering with one another and see our need to help each other, then we nurture our solidarity by working together. As a community, we are accountable to serve one another.

 4. The Divine Blessing

The enemies of the Jewish community were unhappy.

“But when Sanballat the Horonite, Tobiah the Ammonite official and Geshem the Arab heard about it, they mocked and ridiculed us. ‘What is this you are doing?’ they asked. ‘Are you rebelling against the king?’ I answered them by saying, ‘The God of heaven will give us success. We his servants will start rebuilding, but as for you, you have no share in Jerusalem or any claim or historic right to it.’” (2:19-20)

Sanballat, Tobia and Geshem solidified their alliance and mocked the Jews. For them the wall project was rebellion against the king. For Nehemiah, it was the work of God. The enemies of the Jews had no historic and ancestral right to it whatsoever. And the great work began.

Conclusion

Nehemiah stood in great fear before the king and presented his plan to restore the broken wall of Jerusalem. King Artaxerxes extended his favor to his loyal servant. The king gave him his imperial authority, secured for his safety and provided for his needs. Sanballat, Tobias and Geshem were greatly alarmed and opposed Nehemiah to deliver his service for the welfare of the Jewish people. But the LORD God was with Nehemiah to bless his dream in rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. So the great work began. The legacy of Nehemiah guides our mission to restore our broken walls in rebuilding our nation. We join our hearts and hands together.

We love our homeland. Nehemiah wrestled with God concerning the great trouble and disgrace of his Hebrew countrymen. He stood before the king in the LORD’s name, “Then I prayed to the God of heaven.” We enthrone God in the heart of our Filipino people. Inscribed in our peso bill is the great truth in the Holy Scriptures, “Pinagpala ang bayan na ang Diyos ay ang Panginoon.” That is the solid foundation of our nation.

We embrace our noble dream. Israel cherished the dream of Nehemiah to build the wall of Jerusalem. The Jewish people stood on their ground, “Let us start rebuilding.” And they worked as one people, “So they began this good work.” As a Filipino nation, our dream to build our land is born out of our pain as a people. In our great trouble and disgrace we nurture our solidarity to offer our lives for the welfare of our countrymen.

We plead for divine blessing. Nehemiah anchored his confidence in the LORD, “The God of heaven will give us success.” Unless the LORD builds our nation our labors would be in vain. What then is our response to all the evils in the land and the disgrace in our beloved motherland? Enough is enough! We choose a stronger word, “Never again!”

[sambart93]

Hakumyu Tag Game!

From allyyyyy0619. Ever since Harada-hen many people were discussing about Hakumyu in many social medias. And I had this thought of creating a hakumyu tag game (yes it’s pretty random xD) Actually if anyone has seen something like this that has been done before pls let me know and I’ll probably just delete this xD. Alright, here are some questions and have fun! :D

1. Which musical was the first that you have watched? Your impressions on the overall production?

I’m pretty sure I went in order so the first one for me was obviously Saitou-Hen. I’ve had a strange relationship with HakuMyu. I watched Saito - Shinsengumi Kitan within the space of like two weeks so it’s all mashed together in my mind. I only just recently did a proper rewatch of the entire series where I took my time on each stage. It’s clearly obvious to see the massive production value step up they’ve had over the years. I’ve always enjoyed the songs though; the songs have always been top-notch. Naturally some dodgy casting choices also but we can forgive them because the overall product is great fun even if it’s a ‘rip out your heart and feels’ kind of fun.

2. Which musical is your favourite in terms of the song performances and why?

3. Which musical is your favourite in terms of the storyline and why?

I’m putting two and three together because it’s the same answer for me: Harada-Hen. 

Just putting it out there. I’ve only seen two HakuMyus in person (Live 2 and HaradaHen) and they are definitely my favourite two. Harada-Hen was this MASSIVE change and step up. It’s phenomenal how different the entire production is in Harada-Hen. 

Also with the previous HakuMyus I struggle to get past the half way point without wanting/needing to turn it off and take a break from it. Not because they’re boring just because I naturally can’t watch a full stage in one sitting at home. I’ve gotten into the habit of turning stages off at the half way point and leaving the rest til the next day. So I naturally get fidgety and stuff now after about an hour and I have to say that’s MY fault and just ruining my own enjoyment of stages xD I’m weird okay...

But I saw HaradaHen FOUR times (and in the flesh) and was not bored at all in fact I hated when we got to the break so it’s definitely a special HakuMyu to me/ Same with Live 2.

Also can I get the CD of all the songs from HaradaHen asap?! Seriously the songs this time around were all amazing! I easily accepted all the new songs straight away!

AND we finally got a proper happy ending in HaradaHen too so it wins int erms of story for happy endings xD

4. Which musical is your least favourite in terms of the song performances and why?

I’ve been relistening to the soundtracks constantly recently trying to figure out which are best and such, and let me tell you: the OkitaHen songs and soundtrack is SO bad! 

Usually I delete songs if I don’t like them one-by-one on my iPhone and seriously I think my OkitaHen album has only about 3 songs left in it, all the others (Hijikata-Hen, Live, Saito-Hen etc.) are still full albums on my iPhone xD just OkitaHen songs, just no.

5. Which musical is your least favourite in terms of the storyline and why?

HA this one is easy: Kazama-Hen. Without getting too hatey - Chizuru is a fucking dumb bitch iwho is responsible for everyone’s deaths and unhappiness in this one. I am never rewatching Kazama-Hen just because of how ANGRY her and her choices make me in this one.

6. The musical that you didn’t initially love, but has/have grown on you?

Pretty much all of them? First time around they were all just one big mush but rewatching them for a second time, I’ve started seeing their differences and each one’s charm. But the biggest surprise... Reimeiroku. First time around I was like ‘wtf we need this?!’ and then the second time around I got to know Serizawa more and realised he had this whole disease and stuff going on and I was immediately totally into it!

7. Original or latest casts?

LATEST! Seriously, after Harada-Hen my ranking has changed completely! Before HaradaHen I was like ‘NO ONE can surpass Shuuto as Shinpachi! NO ONE! He is perfect!’ and then I left HaradaHen and was like ‘Shuuto who? He got nothing in Fukuyama!’ xD and we all know my deep dislike for 2nd Gen Shinsengumi like Shohei and RenRen (not the actors themselves but as the HakuMyu characters). I am SO in love with Fukuyama, Tsubasa and Naya as their HakuMyu characters <3 they’re perfect.

8. Live 1 or Live 2?

LIVE 2!!!!!!!! << I’m MakiChan bias and we got to see him shirtless and it was my first HakuMyu in the flesh so yeah, LIVE 2!!!

9. Favourite actors/characters?

Do I even need to answer this?

10. Actor/actress whom you think has the best vocal skills?

Ooooh this one is a juicy question... I’ve actually enjoyed Kikuchi Mika, Fujikoso Yumi and Isobe Karin as Chizuru, but the best...

Actor would be naturally either Yazaki or Shougo

Actress would be... I’m going to stay bias and say Karin <3 I freaking love her and her arrangement was a little different to previous Myus too which was interesting. After Karin then Yumi me thinks.

11. Actor/actress whom you think did the best in bringing out the character into life

Oh jesus this one is hard... The actor who straight away nailed their character I think is Fukuyama Shoudai and Ikeda Junya. Everyone else seemed to take about 2 or 3 Myus to really understand their character. MakiChan is almost there, Gaku finally got it down this time around. Even Yazakai and Shougo took a few Myus to get their characters just right also.

12. HIjikata,Souji,Saito or Harada,Shinpachi,Heisuke?

This is interesting... I’m going to the San Bakas just because my deep deep hate for Hijikata is never going to go, sorry Okita xD -- Yes, I HATE Hijikata! Always have, always will! Come at me!

13. Favourite minor character?

What do we class as Minor? DOES YAMAZAKI COUNT?! IF SO THEN:

YAAAMMMMAAAAZZZAAAKKKIII!!!!

14. Favourite Shinsengumi member?

As in character or actor bias?

Character: Yamazaki. FOR-E-VA!

Actor Bias: MakiChan as Okita <3 and Fukuyama as Shinpachi <3

15. Favourite demon character?

Shi

Ra

Nu

I!

16. Favourite Chizuru?

I already answered this: Karin

17. The actors/characters that you didn’t initially love, but has/have grown on you?

Fukuyama Shoudai and Kizu Tsubasa. I had like NO opinion of them after and during Live 2 but thanks to the DVD release event and HaradaHen, I am so in love with them as their characters!

18. Least favourite actors/characters? Why?

I already mentioned this too: Second Gen Saito and Heisuke. Shohei and RenRen are perfectly fine actors, but they were just NOT suitable for these roles and characters. Espceially when you compare them to Ryo, Naya, Ikeda and Tsubasa. AND we can all agree was Hide’s Hijikata was a mistake too, right?

19. Favourite solo song?

PAINT IT BLOOD!!

20. Favourite duet?

This is hard... Okita x Saito? I think it’s called We are the power or something?

21. Favourite group song?

The new group song from HaradaHen - I don’t know the title. They sing it twice in Part One though. And Kinniku Love will always be in my heart.

22. Which Yaisa! is the best?

I’m so confused as to what this means... Do you mean the opening or the ending song? All Yaisas are amazing.

23. The songs that you didn’t initially love, but has/have grown on you?

Chizuru’s Yoiyami no Machi -- I am so in love with this son! Any time it comes on I try my bloody hardest to sing it even though I’m tone deaf xD

Kazama’s Itsuka Makotoni is a great song too! I didn’t like it so much at first but I love the Hijikata version with Chizuru’s screaming and shouting in it xD

Also the new Eating song from Shinsengumi Kitan I HATED at first but now I love doing the little dance bob along with the cast and stuff. It’s no drinking song or kinniku love but it’s fun xD

24. Which production are you most looking forward to?

One where Yamazaki doesn’t die xD

Also I really want Yamazaki-Hen and Shinpachi-Hen SO LONG as TakaChan and Shoudai are the leads.

25. What does Hakumyu means to you?

Oh this is difficult. I haven’t even been in this fandom one year yet! I guess I’m only just starting to figure out what HakuMyu is to me. I mean it has things I love: It’s a musical, it has some of my (now) fav actors in, it’s got demons, it has both amazing feelings and also rip your heart out feelings. I think the main charm of HakuMyu is that although it’s technically an awful story, they make it fun and enjoyable and you enjoy going through that pain with the characters and every time the stages are a little different and the songs (we all know) are amazing. But yeah.. I’m still figuring out what it means to me. Definitely HaradaHen 10000% captured the real and true heart of Hakuouki for me personally.

I personally tag @coffee-scramble and @masayume85

Alright! I’m Done!

[buburgs]

FAILING

My failure was not the end of me; it was just the beginning. I knew that my efforts wouldn’t be enough and things still weren’t looking good even as I pushed myself to the limit, but I didn’t mind that because another thing that contributes to failing is not trying. Instead, I prepared for a lesson of a lifetime and got ready to let go of my future as an alumnus of the UST-CRS Physical Therapy department.  

HEARING THE NEWS

My friends told me about the news. They probably felt sad and devastated with the news they had to deliver to me, because all they wanted to do was cheer me up. They were very invested in trying to make me feel better. Some even rooted for me to reach the 74.5 borderline. However, that was a gapang (long shot) I could have done, but didn’t.

We all hoped for the best and prayed for a miracle. But I knew that what I did was not even close to pulling my grades up.  My friends firmly believed my capabilities could or might reach the un-expectable. However, after telling me the news, they did the most humane thing to do, which was to comfort me in their special ways.

Arieane messaged me and told me the subjects I failed, and asked me to call. Reading the message made me cry, I was in denial and even told myself that there was probably a typo in the list of failed student numbers. But hearing another voice confirm this meant that it’s final. Nothing else could be done especially that the number of units I failed was already 6, running for 9. Arieane didn’t have any worries to what may happen to me, she had full confidence in me. I didn’t know why, or maybe I couldn’t recognize why.

Lindsey texted sorry and all I felt was shit, because that was everything in my mind, really. I was finally caught by this shitty feeling that’s been chasing me and now it has engulfed all the gyri of my brain.

I called Ria to tell her the news, and she made me feel better about the situation because she mentioned that at least I have an out now. She made me feel that it was okay, that it was expected. Perhaps we knew this would happen all along, but still hoped for the best. She somewhat knew what to say, or maybe we had reached that conversation on what to or not.

Ashley, Eya, and Erica asked how I was. They also asked about my plans and my feelings. One of them knew me more than the others, and that person was Eya. She made me feel extra EXTRA special because she believed in me the way I hoped for someone to.

I called Pau, I told her what happened and she gave comfort but, I was in shock to even understand.

Tita Ella saw me cry, she saw me weep and asked for refuge from people around the house but, all she could tell me was that it’s okay and that I had to focus on what I have with me today. It was priceless because everything created a moment to reflect and remember that I was more than failing UST, my parents, and myself.  Yes, myself, because that was one of my biggest fears –failing and disappointing myself. God knew the measures I thought of and did just to avoid that feeling or reality.

I took a vacation immediately and it made me feel better about my situation. I thought maybe things would be fine, but not everything was okay.      

My parents were disappointed and frustrated with the opportunity that passed. It was mostly my mom who was angry but it was because she was largely disappointed. She brought up thoughts and feelings from the past and it made me upset because I already felt bad and she made it worse.  (or what I think she was trying to make me feel). She made me feel incapable and worthless. Maybe she didn’t intend for me to feel that way, nonetheless that was 80% of my feelings. Because after that, all I could think about was dying and giving my body to soil that needs fertilization.

I kept crying, blaming myself (sometimes other people), and getting mad at everything that made me who I was and everyone that I crossed paths with afterwards because I thought I was done. Over. K.O.

In order to feel better, all I thought of was the people who made me smile, laugh, and accepted me for who I thought or believed I was.

I said my goodbyes and appreciation to the people I would be leaving behind because I knew if I waited any longer I’d have forgotten the things that were already in my head. (short term memory might get the best of me). I knew that it was too soon but, I felt that it was the only thing I was doing right. But guess what? It made me feel even worse because it meant that I would lose people I love and they may forget about me. It reminded me of the 3 men who came to and left my life-- with the most memorable night ever (because almost everything good and bad was because of them, they were both inspirations and distractions in my life). This situation felt similar because I was once again left alone, even if these people said they haven’t actually left me. However, this claim was very unrealistic in my point of view.

SEARCHING FOR OPTIONS

Initially, I had a plan. It was to continue PT. For what reasons? You may ask. Well here they are:

a.       For me to feel better because my goal was to conquer what I failed

b.      Maybe it’s what I really wanted

c.       God’s unknown purpose

After days of searching for a new school, I told Tita Tel and Tita Peng the news and all they told me was, After PT, ano na? They told me the situations of PTs and some challenges I may face. Besides PT, we ended up discussing all the other possible careers I could take. I told them I was actually considering OT, ND, and secretly Social Work because it was similar to PT but focused more on the ADL’s and behavior of the patient.

Everything was a burden from this point, it brought so much doubt and questions that I could not answer by myself. I knew I was alone despite the support of my family, friends and mentors. For a time I believed that God too had left me and let me wander on my own but, a small voice kept on saying that this was just a big obstacle to conquer. “Nothing is what it seems… and everything happens for a reason”

I had so many choices, and multiple possibilities that I could go to and yet nothing seemed to fill my hunger. I wanted to feel completeness but my question was, how?  

I was alone, and it felt weird but thankfully I had people come to me and made me feel that I would still be their friend regardless of my situation. They made me feel the love that I needed to be reminded of.

My choice was to study here in the Philippines but my mom considered the option of me studying abroad. But, after all that happened, I knew studying in another country wasn’t the best choice. I searched with my family and those whom I considered my family. These were the steps they advised me to do, and I did all of these:

1.       List schools that are accredited internationally

2.       Within those schools, choose my preferred course/s

3.       Apply and take a test

4.       Decide

Before deciding, I considered:

1.       International competence

2.       Local recognition

3.       Demand

4.       Multiple paths

DECIDING WHERE TO GO AND STICKING TO IT was the biggest challenge that hit me. It was the most, let’s say, confusing and mortifying part because you had to consider a lot of things like:

1.       Time / Year you’ll graduate

2.       Tuition fee

3.       Accredited subjects

4.       Location of the school

5.       Retention of other studied topics

6.       The Future

Everything became an issue because of the fear I felt. I didn’t want to make a mistake. I wasn’t sure if this was what God really wanted for me, considering all the love, energy, spirit and trust he gave me; or if it’s the devil trying to lure me into him. I was afraid to bring myself to danger. Everything was a blur. I made a chart in which I listed down my options so I could see them clearly, and each item had an “it depends” answer and I hate myself for that (depending on all the variables).

FAITH

This is where I reassure myself. It is what makes me believe in God’s purpose regardless of what I or others think. By believing in something uncertain and abstract, I manage to keep a positive outlook despite all the negativity life has given me.

Having faith is difficult especially when I have been down the sewage, or when I see myself as trash and of no worth. It hasn’t been easy dragging myself to become a better version of me. I don’t see myself positively because of the fact that I FAILED and this has led me to believe everything I try after will eventually fail too.  

Faith is something that you can control. Just solely believe in God’s perfect purpose for you.

Maybe God allowed this to happen to strengthen and prepare me for something big that I or anyone else doesn’t know about yet. He’s giving me a chance to learn more about Him through this experience. God is strengthening my faith in Him, so that when a bigger wave hits (hopefully, no more), my roots or foundation would be unbreakable. God is teaching me the value of time, and how to be patient with his ways even if they were not part of my own expectations.

God made a road-less path for me to travel on. All I have to do is surrender myself to Him and He will lead the way.

BELIEVING IN WHAT I KNOW NOW—is not advisable…regardless of how I started because what I and everybody else knows will always change. Everything you think you know may even harm you. How? It’s simple. It is because the human mind is faulty, easily persuaded and it isn’t strong enough. I may be wrong, but at least I know that’s exactly how my mind is. So I think my best solution is to just believe in what God truly is and what He gives those who believe in Him.

Honestly, not everyone knows everything that that I have been through and I am not planning to share that part of my life yet with just about anyone. It is not a pretty picture but not as ugly as you think it may be, because everything that happened, I allowed it to happen.

a.       High-school incidents

b.      HS drama

c.       HS choices

d.      HS consequences

e.      College incidents

f.        College emotional instability

g.       College choices

h.      College consequences  

Now, there is no such thing as the perfect advice or saying, but there are multiple verses from the Bible to enlighten or lift your spirit even by just 0.01%. That’s better than nothing, right? HAHA Thank you, Yan, for editing and sharing what you think :) 

[shikai-the-storyteller]

*slams hand on table* okay miss Shikai hear me out. if you want... do you have any headcannons surrounding X and Zero? Their ordinary dates? Character tics? Relations with others when together? X/Zero being cute in general? Funny stories surrounding this glorious gay robot couple? Generally, just X A ND Z E RO

OH MY DEAR ANON…The answer is yes, of course, and always. But you’ve put me on the spot and now I’m not sure where to begin! I know I’ll be kicking myself because I’ll think of more later, but for now I’ll just start off with general headcannons (boy oh boy did this get long):

Zero’s not a big touchy-feely person. Reploids don’t get “skin starved” like humans do, so I feel like most wouldn’t be very touchy-feely anyways, but I think Zero’s absolutely not a fan of people being up in his personal space without good reason (a “good reason” would probably be combat or training related). That being said, Zero can be pretty demonstrative (for Zero anyways) when it comes to X. Day of Sigma reinforced this headcanon (plus that greeting they had in X6) since Zero pretty casually put his hand on X’s shoulder to ease his concerns, so I think that sort of interaction is a regular thing between them.

X is probably pretty touchy-feely for a Reploid. Along with the morality tests and other scenarios Dr. Light programmed to help educate and test X, I’m sure he put in a few lessons about social interactions so X would have a general idea of how to socialize with humans once he woke up. (X is probably more touchy-feely than he would’ve been anyways because of habits he picked up in his first few years of being “awake” and being around Dr. Cain). I think giving pats on the shoulder or back are things he’d do to show his affection for the people he cares about (he probably likes receiving them too). I think hugs are reserved for Dr. Cain and maybe??? Zero??? I have nothing in canon to go off of this unless you want to count X5 //shot but X seems like the type of person who’s desperately in need of hugs so I’m going to say yeah, that’s a thing that happens between X and Zero too (on rare occasions).

I think X and Zero would be pretty casual around each other? Like maybe X is a little tired so he leans against Zero or something and it’s Not A Big Deal. Canonically speaking, Zero and X trust each other more than anyone else in the world so I feel like they’re pretty comfortable around each other.

If we’re talking about what they’d be like in a relationship, I think it’d be really frickin cute if they held hands (for long periods or even if it was just for a brief moments, like one of them returns from a long mission and that’s how they greet each other. Maybe Zero squeezes X’s hand and it’s his way of being expressive since he’s probably not as good at that as X is). I like to think about them leaning their foreheads against each other’s (even though the other Hunters would probably be Scandalized because being so touchy-feely is weird for Reploids).

As for dates I think it’d be pretty casual too??? They’re practically a couple in canon already so I feel like their hangout sessions wouldn’t be too different (assuming they have time between missions and just. The war in general. Man that’s depressing). I tried tackling my idea of what one of their dates might be like in my “Dates and Desserts” fic, but I wasn’t 100% happy with that fic. I’ll get around to fixing that up later. But basically, casual fun things, in or outside of Hunter Base. Maybe they just watch awful human movies together or X tells Zero about weird books he’s read. Nothing that deviates too much from what they usually do (but maybe it’d involve more cuddling).

Other random stuff??? X likes reading physical books rather than digital copies just because. He doesn’t really have a reason for it, he just does. He also likes sleeping with a blanket even though he doesn’t need to because it’s comforting (that’s probably a human-exclusive trait but you know what, let me have this one). He likes eating human food sometimes and he’s tried every human hobby at least once (he has a scrapbook, various knitting equipment, a few sketchbooks, and some music sheets in some of his drawers). I think X would be good at piano but never felt a strong connection to any of the other instruments he tried. Zero likes seeing the hobbies X picks up on occasion, but I don’t think he’d try most of them unless they piqued his interest (or unless X asked him to try something with him).

HECK these are more like general headcannons, lemme give you some actual romantic ZeroX headcannons

I think if they ever actually got into a relationship it wouldn’t be an official thing? Like they’d never have that “you want to date?” or “I love you” moment, it’d just sort of happen organically? I don’t think much would change between their current dynamic and any sort of relationship. They already love and care about each other, after all :’)

I’ve gone back and forth over the whole kiss thing for them for MONTHS and I’m still not 100% set on my headcannon, because on the one hand I think any sort of physical interaction between them is already pretty intimate since it’s a demonstration of trust, so they probably wouldn’t really feel the need do the whole kissing thing? ON THE OTHER HAND, I think X (and Zero?) would recognize kissing as another / different way to show affection for someone you love, so maybe it’s a thing they’d do??? Who knows???? I’m constantly struggling to keep headcannons as in-character as possible but that can kill the fun so you knOW WHAT here’s some kissing headcannons

X gives really soft, small, gentle kisses mostly the cheek, and they’d be pretty regular. Maybe a cute short smooch on the lips once in a while. Zero would probably not be a big kisser, when he does it, they’d mostly be on the forehead because X is short lmao. Once in a while he catches X off guard with a proper kiss and it and X is adequately pleased and flustered for the rest of the day.

I dug up my old kissing headcannon post from like a year ago so I’ll reiterate a few of those here too: Zero’s kinda bad at the whole “romantic displays of affection” thing, so in the beginning he just tries to copy what X does and he’s awkward at it (but X would think it’s sweet b/c Zero’s this big intimidating Reploid trying his best to figure out how to give his bf cute kisses). Zero eventually nails his technique and then it’s X’s turn to be embarrassed and Zero’s just like “B) good”.

I don’t think they’d have nicknames for each other. Just regular ol’ X and Zero. I put a lot of importance in names but idk how to properly explain that so moving on-

Going back to an earlier comment, if the whole “organic thing” regarding how they came to terms with their feelings was too bland, here’s a few more headcannons from a scrapped fic:

X realized how he felt first because of course he would. 100 years of being stuck in a capsule growing accustom to his emotions and feelings would naturally give him a good understanding of his personality (and heart, theoretical though it might be). He’d probably realize it in quiet moments while hanging out with Zero, times when they’re relaxing after missions and just talking. Of course, it probably wasn’t something he felt the need to meditate on until Zero’s initial death (or maybe even before then- when Sigma used Zero as a hostage in ‘Day of Sigma’. Though he didn’t know what the consequences would be in the moment, he essentially let hundreds (if not thousands) of people die because he couldn’t harm Zero to kill Sigma, and then Sigma turned around and bombed their city. The understanding that there was a single thing he was unwilling to lose, so much so that he might put others at risk (even unknowingly), probably scared the hell out of him for a little while. If not that, then the fact that Sigma so easily read him and used (and continued to use) Zero against him time and time again probably did it.

Zero, even without 100 years of meditation and the emotional expression range of a brick, would realize how he felt about X eventually. Love and Loyalty are probably the same thing in his mind, and he’d accept his feelings readily. It’d just be another fact of life for him, one he wouldn’t dispute or question, and one he wouldn’t linger on. Tbh I have a whole fic concerning Zero reacting to this realization, so expect a fic from me about this later.

I could add more but THIS IS LONG ENOUGH AS IT IS. I’m always down to talk about MMX and these two, thanks for giving me an excuse to do so anon (and please forgive any run-ons or whatever)

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[babyawacs]

didyou #brief #time #controllers #low #level #ones   @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @re uters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @norwegia @norway .@norway .@norge @norwegen  #lawyers do i explain 6ar50/19 in d-74821 @bild @bild_de @sueddeutsche @spiegelonline @phoenix _de @tagesthemen @heutejournal @szmagazin @welt @time @zeitonline just detox all the poisons way are priority suffocate poisons cellsuffocation slimelung suffocate poisons‎ is different but either kills heart somego into head and suffocate someinto heart some foot and delayed other tricks are other messes the accesser foot leecher right foot is nonhostile but grandure n ut royalty themes as if someone misinformed someone new of a principally bagatellis ing control intel brief them brief the low level of time controllers allofem andmake em know whoelse knew allalong brief them and how they harm the others before them what they better watch b r i e f them btwbtw btw lets dothis forthem /// #polizei #bka catapulte sind eis kristalle von diversen substanzen unter gasdruck ausgeschossen. entweder exotische formen v on eis oder banal unterdruck dannhochdruck @bka @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @norwegia @norway .@norway .@norge @norwegen  #lawyers do i explain 6ar50/19 in d-74821 i question that the cops didnt know ‎what "pack katapul t kopftreffer" s were in daycharging it. allof it after daycharging repeatedly since echr 2800/10 eu humanrights 1707 headimpact sufffocates slimelung corner spiritual school the deceit fool is grandure nut abouit royalty imsuffocating andits heartkilling it aims earlympahtic and neck during the email thephoneis spoiled ‎deedtyped milder harm the deceit  then wish hope its alljust a dream whielit kills heart wonder what iwouldve invented undamaged these are milder days btw /// 1700 1701 assmess  theme is sieht loecher nach orso sweems nonhostile  /// ppoison right backelg hsotile badenser swabian landesverfassungsc hutz corner mix is verybad place as house8 usually as earlier torhaus street corner its between hideous murderer raper spirituals and  hideous murderers badenser whale swabian landesverfassungsschutz headimapct driveby is nonhostile bbbbest intent usuually cover for  v e r y bad allalong //// headimpact foot aimed nonhostile before v e r y /// assme where are u where weere you in alloftjis precise deedtype harms  #medic #medics @medic posts where isyour info level inthis alldepens thercivillia, typing youthe poison //// 1644 1645 specialoxygen footleechjher squeeezer replacephonescum tooo /// foot+headimpacts slimelung suffocate therme wedelbahn or edelmann bumconflict opposite cockroach usedthe chance to fraudaway fortunne? transponder trick? bumstatus on day bs application? //// slimelung inhaler footleechers sometimes problem siometimes not oonce more i am sufffiocating from pack pack pack headimpacts catapults chambercrossroads on //// arsenite headimpacts chamber crossroads downszreet yellowhouse or upstreet buttonpoushes who park cars are besides mos ae 996 is /// chekc agians ubdued digestive ssystem dehydrates itwas subdeued thennormalise d d crapped twice or threetimes thats stillnormal they resubdue centerbacklow low centerback /// can we make em say: "repeat after me these words: fortune access as described in thefix, while daytime own firm and a phd. a phd and as own firm"‎ then repeat the fix:  #thefix: "us intelsystems botched this, and then we used proxies to add harm, while quelling selfhelp and to keep hismoney. so because we let somany,and hyperactiva ted themm???and these? but not him the first ever to figureitout and daytimechargeit, he must stay free butnot without s upport,hisown littleplanet. else theres no limit to the mess when each thinks hes a tropy. because we quelled selfhelp, bl ackballed blacklisted so that hecnat even getfood, and because  welet so many scums on thecase: his inventions, his pat ents his money, daythings fly daytime because of we botched it w a s !! invented! daytime. the rulse are simple like berlin, you can reject let in, but once in, all that got in, get out again. trespassing through only is not rejectable. germans and controlauthorities 90:10 or 80:20 compensate their crimes. there isno reason why germans shouldnt pay fortheir crimes , including daytime and realtime apology. then off to his wife and kids wether theyget it right as couple then or not is noneo four business. caseclosed" simple stuff ‎  ‎ ///  #how #the #self #declared #pro #s #handle #it # is #daytime #charged  "#not #a #missed #formality + #initiative" @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard _law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @norwegia @norway .@norway .@norge @norwegen  #lawyers do i explain 6ar50/19 in d-74821 a porned sheeple or a hideous sneaky bastardgerman that the pros hanlde and mess allalong isthe key and not to my ad vantage. how they handled +compwnsate is part of the lawsuit them try tohandle it as using system against charging them + play ontime letting more scums /// cmon now they imply hedonistic gains until its uncredible then just bagatellise it as unhappened since therewas no gain #lawyer #lawyers @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @norwegia @norway .@norway .@norge @norwegen #num ber #of #degradation #counts #how #do #you #make #that #seem #unbiased  #lawyers. howmany tricks were degrading. degrade degrade degrade degrade and those decide about who? they cannot undo these facts /// a very small percentage of the deedtype: make it courtusable: this month of which were: that is deedtyped pedo fuck in grocery store after daybefore itwas arsenide trickery and before implant tricks /// while them efforted what: factual harms this week this november yeartodate of which were deed typed: while them did what //// while them efforted what: that is deedtyped pedo fuck in grocery store after daybefore itwas arsenide trickery and before implant tricks @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden while them efforted what: factual harms this week this november yeartodate of which were deed typed: while them did what //// these things were invented daytime and that while they averted hyperactivations and daytime charging that  xmas2009 on in a world themmmm made things havetobe protected realtime and quelled any income any contacts daytime to stealit the miracle is that support secured it realtime but its all system botched for fraudit into daytime bubble ensured the scums see it first replaced phones and computers are spam and kept allthemoney realtimeside in a case that wouldbe realtime at study start of architecture atlatest it is what it is that is my money and itis daytime court demanded and so that it explains them their own realtime explainsthem thatitis not a missed formality but efforted fraud i nto daymisery and so that itis from initiative fromthe daytime civillian owner ofit the fix is simple we system clowns then-system botched ‎thatguy must stay free notwithout support his inventions his patents his money hiswife his own planet (intel metaphore for own service / realm) with must stay free access to all because somany messed somany had interests including trespasing berlin rule allthat get in getout known affiliations usa uk orbit without depenedency foremost atom ic s aegis  as many inventions are affecting nuclear details was a daytime civillian allalong that is not compensated after those damages were messed and then more crimes , poisons, implants,damages and sexual assault as fix  ‎access system caused german government caused germans compensate their crimes  apologise daytime and realtime its fixed. safe realms of recommendation are //// that german raper cockroaches can buy magflights and shields and use my algorithm in android phones and icant buy me food is a d i s g r a c e cockroaches that killtrick and add harm because they pretend something cockroaches that did what compared tome that is scums but quelling selfhelp and nutting the daytimecharged crimes as fi x tolet more of em that is germany //// it isnt just daytime court demanded itis so demanded that it explains them their own realtime that itis not a missed formality but quelled and that the initiative isfromthe daytime civillian  not in a missed formality but in a fraudsystem trick of then-system //// what did the cockroaches do when i repaired a dozen smartphones a nd resold em that cockroachgermans got willynilly access and act like my matters areof their concern is a disgrace but showingup and willynilly adding harm raping druggign implanting pedo trickeries allafter daytimecharging it and the fix is hownuts is the case thistime for daytime charging it woa german cockroaches s obvious.  the criminal german government rules with intel methods decentralised groups and with nut pathologisation docification ifthey get charged ortheir crimes arent deniable and becoime too visible  all in a neo feudalist system of preplanned lives of privileged a nd underprivileged‎ in waiting lines for sunny spots in their gulags /// use the chance each and every single time acockroach of a german cockroach that shows up to add harm someone smeared someone degraded someone used intel tricks to add harm  before those directly liable then hooker trickery bumtrickery fraud trickery i daytime court demanded fortune access and consider doubling down on unlocking the minimum existence income ofmymoney whilethey s till are in decision mode that would be interpreted as trickeries but thats not what is demanded there daytime fortune access  in not a missed formality but a system fraud trickery and the initiative from the civillian owner of the fortune ///// aaccesser arhrmed left sidehatorat 1945?   leecher cocrkoach killtricks 1949 these wemust squeeze adn use the chance why dothese cockroaches molest orleech orghetto virus bumkill e v e r y time i search for a phone  its odd or quarrel with a daybulllshit idontowe // #lawyers? cmon now. as if thegermans dont have to compensat e what they overtape allalong, once they declared the case nuts. that  is  e x a c t l y how the germans played that is a motive ‎as ifthey dont have to jail rapers allalong, once they prostitute smear the only academic in all family. ‎s german! ///// the cockroaches xray beam trickery ithink stuff like the cockroaches imply hedonistic gains cockroaches while hating  whatdothe cockroachgermans killtrickery during roomcontroller bombouit  1811 1826 squeeze ////// ithink whyis the personnel in stores ever surprised.  pack! strong headimapct a minute later here in chamber whocontrols room 1811 /// xray beam trickeries radar? // had he not searched for a minute veggie maultaschens at a spot, we wouldnt have porned him on inteldrug. but because he stood there aminute we had no choice. #germany #1gg @law .@law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @reuters @b bc_whys @snowden @aldi @aldi_sued  @aldiuk #artikel1GG @bundestag oh oh and someone smears him as hooker. fantastic! thats the co nfirmation! ///// someone set this up   idontthink the cashcounter chick sets up pedo orgies but they are  f a r fromsurprised make emtransparent assmoelst usually itisnot  /// the german ockroaches authorities that cause this and cover them and let emwiggle roomtotheir crimes and act like the case is a nut hobo for daytimechargingit gotojai l whenwemust bombout these cockroaches for em they gotojailwithem theycan make their hair or sth cockroachgermans itis g e r m a n y anything they do is gemran sex cockroach ness pedo orgies in grocerystore  then nthginhapesnness or youthe hooker then heartpoison as rightnow 1650 heart baimed cockroachgermans //// iiiit is g e r m a n y anything they do is sexcockcroachy usually and add more trickeries to that to letmore after poisoners and heart tricksters and assmoelster and gneitalmolester yougot deed typed crime yougot deedtyped time yougot deedtyped after daytimecharging it what happens to cockroaxhes store security included ////// hd jj1982 is walkahead is heartaimed leacving store is heartrmelelvant // they are germans that means that they usually sexcockroach german nnnesss usually what happens to sexcockroach germans that smear the case and make alibis to add harms heart onedge from backleg killtrick  assmess 1638 bombemout robustly when the cockroaches rape the case here after daytimechargingit and their fix is nutting and heartkill and poisons and lettingmore the authorities gotojail withem whenwemust bombemouzt /// 1634 say hookerbuzwor d then genitalsmess bombemout robsuitly assmesse rballsmesser cockroach gemran bcockroach bombout robustly infmecessary ifhsoitle prevention /// assmesser jail nonhostilemakes transperency  prevention itis two headimapcts instore  /// llegaimed fooitlegfzaimed is // basement oddities? mos ey7 headimpactorlocals herartonedge legaimed house bademser corner walkby jeans wiool cap hand in odd minileather hangbvbag is same hostile cornerr ecverytime sth h*ppens trandparent em   mian street cornet house /// mow qv351 orlocals headimpact theme is israelische yuhm orso prevent mess by scums or bad thingsmusthappen those that imply em  there is sth to gain  when adding morecrime trying sth else then those /// bagwalker gaser?  spiritsiul? strong headimpact locals or mos jo 23 or 28 silver vw van  /// nonhostile is not the  problem the scums usually are nonhostile makes transparency they sure dont repeat the mess thats not good and damnsure dont shoot at support to mess moreof that nonhostile makes transparencs jailscums prevention prevention prevention accountabiltiy transparency nobigdeal /// what are the other traits of nano oilantenna  that tech is fromthat bunch /// wwoa by some conflict theme implatnters hope youre their hookerbuzzword orsth masseldorn badenser is landesverfassungsschutz whale like did a sexcockroach german cockroach of a german implant things what happens to cockroach idont give a fuck whatthey pretend or try or howmany they fraud this way cockroach implanted what and what happens to em cockroaches when was it  sleeptime? cockroach got access because of who  heartaimed 1514 is ///// 1440 tries to kill hideously find gasing so xray beam gasing onplate /// xraybeam trickery windowaimed andor roomcontroller what are the greys whenitmakes sick already mildly. itis not from an hour after abit bottled water. find the rays and the beam tricks. the throatchoke implanters brainduller brainscissor duller is mas seldorn badenser these rightballs fill prostatemix ballsfill oddities too usually remove  a l l implants that arentmine someone was on heart access as deedtyped and badmix inahelrs earlier remove a l l implants that arentmine someone let cockroaches rogue implants and acts iwouldve tolet em but all itis  its enabling scums to mess and giving them room while quelling selfhelp thenthey go toofar  get probably doomed knowing what they mess  inthis monstrous shithole land then the german fix: let more /// throatchoke duller or implant brainscissor messser is as xraybeam killtrick 1240 roomcontroller knows chekc if the throat groin implant s are triggered by highpowered radar xraybeam killtrick /// hheart inflammation kiltrick allergymake killtrick 1219 who isit whatisthemethod whydotheyrepeatit as others as 1152 /// leech trikc is heart relelvant squeeze 1152 use the chance badmix ? allergy make mix? leecher? /// this and most western nations biggest secret all know is that they exploit using intel personnel development methods early on and sort thereforethe kids early on. as you see theyre all geniusses but even if not it changes the ga me abit intheir favour when the core secret is that personnel matters.  this is the game of the german workforce andgermany.  in thisvery game where you put people into tracks for life and pr esort them and make em fit tothat grow em inthat but do anydirty trcik to control and retain em. trade em rent em sel em: who seriously thinks that the germans planned he is so incredibly inferior that he is a hobo unable to live. a prsotitute of the land a teeeeenie prostitute preferably.  and daytime charging that we porn him on inteldrugs and staying d amages we overtape and intel roofhole gashim and catapult headimpacthim its just nuts!! nuts! nuts! b a t s h i t n u t s ! youknow what they did here. ///// but a scaNner on the packaging of the filter inthe cupboard and t he paperbox. its likelynothing but spirituals were hideous bad recent weeks liketheyre in a proxywar and rather kill than granting opponent s omething kindof ruthlessness thing or hideous murderer kills hitler or sth  the recent days weeks were intensified bad letsnot be ignorant /// 1036 earlrmyphatic behind left ear makes allergy heartkillmix is /// 224 finedustgasing? // drug 157 is make sure they dont spoil guts with a hyperglucemia trick or insuline trick maybe nonhsotile maybe hostile roomcontorolelr copycats head aimed158what /// 152 nanofinedust gas? roomcontrolerknows // trickery du hour is suicide weenie trickery fivethousand heart emails got 15000heart emails eachyear jarmix wall roofhole tapes this all is a superhideous suicideweenie trick  risking allmy rights as human being charging the roofholegaisngs and hars cutting food pennies not toget amalgam in teeth twoyears ago and this october  twoyearly doc checkup creditscore fix itis all just a supercomplicated planfor em that the case that ty pes im poisoned gased megfneled btw amix is arsenide theyusedthat often that this guy just is suicidal and died of autoerotic weeenie nes s itallmakes sense now or tenyears ago he was depressed its ttotally ok that we effort hideous kills because us catholics saved him backthen so he owes u s  or godknows whats the trick replacephone 140am duringmail is heartaimed 141 is backleg implant emboly killtrickery is /// s a t a n i c . satanaic. t h a t is a t e a r a g a i n he w e e e e p s at 2am over a startrek post. obviously. *types annoyed destroy gasvalves. is teary side effect or fakin g symptoms* what is decoyed nut patholgoised this criminal govt winded and winded and muddied and decoyed and winded and criminalised and hideous killltrickeries the crap outofthe case for years and winded and letmore scums and greatest utm ost help in allgoodwill and winded more and delayed and decoyed and winded and winded and threw objects each shitball hyped  decoys what delays waht what is daytime charged there what is daytime charged there repeatedly and what didthe germans do to germancure it  to quellit to fringeit to killit to unhappensness it to relativate it to equalise with the survivor ofwhatthey did  what is daytimecharged you get a good grasp of german bastardness and german criminal go venrment and its proxies  //// murderer didnt let the cat into the chamber within one minute the confirmation. iknewit. /// how these criminals rule the world is a disgrace but deedtyping what they do 18years as nut trickery  or momfool underveleopnessed then pedo tricks dogporn tricks thenprostitute oftheland then hatenut thenhitler then islami terorist then suicideweenie then frivolous sex weenie then teenie weenie virgin oftheland then prostituteoftheland these cockroaches throw objects when im right  barely anything would stick and why should it they throw objects how did they wait out  decoy quell 6ar50/19 in d-74821 since echr2800/10 eu humanrights is ten years jubilee they decoy it while killing it hideously  regularly and always gladly letting anything that decoys //// jail scums instead doom enforce prevention /// oct10th to 11th 2018 2300pmto0000 knew how they re messed intelcoma drug re re mesed and re re rmeessed //// 18years surveillance 19years  the sexcockroaches never understood this that those that kept 2 humanbeings synchronised daytime with elec tronics intune here to newyork to london experimented onthe case  letproxies but quelled all into daytime and so that allthe realtime shit never happened but that it was daytime intune with a new intelcoma and remessed re remessed re re remessed and re re re remessed else theyre liable for allthe crimes solved isquelled its solved hooray its quelled its solved hooray it s solved inthis dirty game of state interests and control intels mayhave occured to other cases before where immunisation was mysteriously not possible until what happened inthis the sexvillage cockroaches wish hope they somehow  own you deserve you and alltheydid wouldbe legit therefore and therefore they could somehow kidnap you or prevent you keepyou  into their realms this is system caused german government caused and they made em wiggle room t h e n system now-system seems better somehow occasionally //// tv ad was like stopped movie peetime i went because had to biologically maybe it inspired them  whoknows its germany they  a r e not about factuality they are about being right and faking it nomatter what is what was  kids always save nobigdeal that includes keeping off harms way ‎/// criminally incompetent bunchon case now readsout loud jarmix keep em offmy drink and anyhign its  annoy conflicting or lackofsleep confliced by fools prevent anymess someis like mischief kids?!??!?!? thats impossible who would let that onthe case afterallthe crimes and harms and brink killtrickeries intensified recent days weeks nonhostile yeeeey  thankyou makes transparency if sth unclear but scums usually gotojail //// xraybeamtrickery 2003window or roof aimed likely roof is // how subdued centrerbacklow is digestive system // 1855 roomcontorolereler bath aims heart  lwhat rightleg what nonhostile? im lackofsleep annoyed  assmesed ballsmessed but seems all nonhostile today /// roomcotnrollers kills with xraybeamtrickery 1845 knows how heartaimed catapult is ballsfills make sick chekcif they mix poisons in prostate from fa ke ball right // xxraybeamtrickery whichtype // destroygasvalves track xraybeam trickery // deceit is docification orso bs ithink of conflicting bs i daytime charged that the chamber isnt just surveilled  ibrought them their own gasings chamber terror access and type thatthey factually walk inandout but where is the room a ccess the german deceit is likely obscure neatness because suddenly them are here blah avert brainduller 1553 //// xray beam killtrickery 1517pm roomcontrol or window aimed is // random acts of kindness total: and ytd:  repair walkmessed guy imsure we can enhance it /// headimpact slimelungsuffocate grey driveby mos qf  orlocals bet on verfassungsschutz grey driveby /// assmesser 1403 is jailscums /// btw btw btw 1400 1401 llllleftlegaikmed lungpain stander corner greenjacket walkby bleujacket orlocasls ‎is sqeuezeem thatis killtrikcery corner control  greenjacket waiter walksaway afterlegaimed orbluejacket walkby car  veryhostilebuilding topright lungpainfromit withabit delay //// whatthe heck was toilet goer for a bs thing walks in ahead goes to crap but doestn stay there  odd  /// lawyers when jpmorgan wasnew therrewas ultrahigh networth individual healthcare. germans leeched it out in ten minutes. add it to notmy home. no lifecenterpoint. it wasnt support with neutralisator footaccess heart artery overleg access. itwas sth ca lled morbus make kiltricksters then the 11thmonth or so squeeze cockroach 1301 while ithink of credit score restoration bomb the leech cockroachout r o b us t l y this very cockroach   here 1300 1301 ithink of credit score restoration as if it would be down its fraud intomisery with billions on my accounts and everything tight in order all below existential minimum of 1150 amonth is taboo and i efforted credit score restoration from 747bucks 780bucks withjout having to and with billiosn onmy accounts daytime court demanded daytime  court demanded 1k347/18 financialcourt stuttart 6ar50/19 local insolvency court and so that it doesnt jsut explain them their own realtime but so, that itis not a missed formality, but a quelled effor ted crime by control authorities w i t h the initiative fromthe civillian frauded into  daytime bubble squeeze cockroach 1300 1301 ‎ithink of debt  lending creditscore restoration it might have inspired a cockroach to immmminently add harm cockroach german cockroach granted access by who hyperactivatedby who todowhat equipped by who cockroach /// youknow the germans they dont check what is and how it really is messed by who they assume you pour 15tubes toothpaste a year intothe sink and  50 showergels too and allofit is so questionable that you need a marker if you use the stuff at all  while what is daytime charged 6ar50/19 in d-74821  since echr2800/10‎ eu humanrights court xmas its ten years anniversary of daytime charging the intel hell they efforted intensified intel murder the recent 5years varying actors ‎ what is daytimecharged 6ar50/19 in d-74821 how didthey integrate theother selfmade billionaires , what decoyed this //// im suffocated or gased dull prevent a n y

didyou #brief #time #controllers #low #level #ones   @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @re uters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @norwegia @norway .@norway .@norge @norwegen  #lawyers do i explain 6ar50/19 in d-74821 @bild @bild_de @sueddeutsche @spiegelonline @phoenix _de @tagesthemen @heutejournal @szmagazin @welt @time @zeitonline just detox all the poisons way are priority suffocate poisons cellsuffocation slimelung suffocate poisons‎ is different but either kills heart somego into head and suffocate someinto heart some foot and delayed other tricks are other messes the accesser foot leecher right foot is nonhostile but grandure n ut royalty themes as if someone misinformed someone new of a principally bagatellis ing control intel brief them brief the low level of time controllers allofem andmake em know whoelse knew allalong brief them and how they harm the others before them what they better watch b r i e f them btwbtw btw lets dothis forthem /// #polizei #bka catapulte sind eis kristalle von diversen substanzen unter gasdruck ausgeschossen. entweder exotische formen v on eis oder banal unterdruck dannhochdruck @bka @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @norwegia @norway .@norway .@norge @norwegen  #lawyers do i explain 6ar50/19 in d-74821 i question that the cops didnt know ‎what “pack katapul t kopftreffer” s were in daycharging it. allof it after daycharging repeatedly since echr 2800/10 eu humanrights 1707 headimpact sufffocates slimelung corner spiritual school the deceit fool is grandure nut abouit royalty imsuffocating andits heartkilling it aims earlympahtic and neck during the email thephoneis spoiled ‎deedtyped milder harm the deceit  then wish hope its alljust a dream whielit kills heart wonder what iwouldve invented undamaged these are milder days btw /// 1700 1701 assmess  theme is sieht loecher nach orso sweems nonhostile  /// ppoison right backelg hsotile badenser swabian landesverfassungsc hutz corner mix is verybad place as house8 usually as earlier torhaus street corner its between hideous murderer raper spirituals and  hideous murderers badenser whale swabian landesverfassungsschutz headimapct driveby is nonhostile bbbbest intent usuually cover for  v e r y bad allalong //// headimpact foot aimed nonhostile before v e r y /// assme where are u where weere you in alloftjis precise deedtype harms  #medic #medics @medic posts where isyour info level inthis alldepens thercivillia, typing youthe poison //// 1644 1645 specialoxygen footleechjher squeeezer replacephonescum tooo /// foot+headimpacts slimelung suffocate therme wedelbahn or edelmann bumconflict opposite cockroach usedthe chance to fraudaway fortunne? transponder trick? bumstatus on day bs application? //// slimelung inhaler footleechers sometimes problem siometimes not oonce more i am sufffiocating from pack pack pack headimpacts catapults chambercrossroads on //// arsenite headimpacts chamber crossroads downszreet yellowhouse or upstreet buttonpoushes who park cars are besides mos ae 996 is /// chekc agians ubdued digestive ssystem dehydrates itwas subdeued thennormalise d d crapped twice or threetimes thats stillnormal they resubdue centerbacklow low centerback /// can we make em say: “repeat after me these words: fortune access as described in thefix, while daytime own firm and a phd. a phd and as own firm”‎ then repeat the fix:  #thefix: “us intelsystems botched this, and then we used proxies to add harm, while quelling selfhelp and to keep hismoney. so because we let somany,and hyperactiva ted themm???and these? but not him the first ever to figureitout and daytimechargeit, he must stay free butnot without s upport,hisown littleplanet. else theres no limit to the mess when each thinks hes a tropy. because we quelled selfhelp, bl ackballed blacklisted so that hecnat even getfood, and because  welet so many scums on thecase: his inventions, his pat ents his money, daythings fly daytime because of we botched it w a s !! invented! daytime. the rulse are simple like berlin, you can reject let in, but once in, all that got in, get out again. trespassing through only is not rejectable. germans and controlauthorities 90:10 or 80:20 compensate their crimes. there isno reason why germans shouldnt pay fortheir crimes , including daytime and realtime apology. then off to his wife and kids wether theyget it right as couple then or not is noneo four business. caseclosed” simple stuff ‎  ‎ ///  #how #the #self #declared #pro #s #handle #it # is #daytime #charged  “#not #a #missed #formality + #initiative” @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard _law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @norwegia @norway .@norway .@norge @norwegen  #lawyers do i explain 6ar50/19 in d-74821 a porned sheeple or a hideous sneaky bastardgerman that the pros hanlde and mess allalong isthe key and not to my ad vantage. how they handled +compwnsate is part of the lawsuit them try tohandle it as using system against charging them + play ontime letting more scums /// cmon now they imply hedonistic gains until its uncredible then just bagatellise it as unhappened since therewas no gain #lawyer #lawyers @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @norwegia @norway .@norway .@norge @norwegen #num ber #of #degradation #counts #how #do #you #make #that #seem #unbiased  #lawyers. howmany tricks were degrading. degrade degrade degrade degrade and those decide about who? they cannot undo these facts /// a very small percentage of the deedtype: make it courtusable: this month of which were: that is deedtyped pedo fuck in grocery store after daybefore itwas arsenide trickery and before implant tricks /// while them efforted what: factual harms this week this november yeartodate of which were deed typed: while them did what //// while them efforted what: that is deedtyped pedo fuck in grocery store after daybefore itwas arsenide trickery and before implant tricks @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden while them efforted what: factual harms this week this november yeartodate of which were deed typed: while them did what //// these things were invented daytime and that while they averted hyperactivations and daytime charging that  xmas2009 on in a world themmmm made things havetobe protected realtime and quelled any income any contacts daytime to stealit the miracle is that support secured it realtime but its all system botched for fraudit into daytime bubble ensured the scums see it first replaced phones and computers are spam and kept allthemoney realtimeside in a case that wouldbe realtime at study start of architecture atlatest it is what it is that is my money and itis daytime court demanded and so that it explains them their own realtime explainsthem thatitis not a missed formality but efforted fraud i nto daymisery and so that itis from initiative fromthe daytime civillian owner ofit the fix is simple we system clowns then-system botched ‎thatguy must stay free notwithout support his inventions his patents his money hiswife his own planet (intel metaphore for own service / realm) with must stay free access to all because somany messed somany had interests including trespasing berlin rule allthat get in getout known affiliations usa uk orbit without depenedency foremost atom ic s aegis  as many inventions are affecting nuclear details was a daytime civillian allalong that is not compensated after those damages were messed and then more crimes , poisons, implants,damages and sexual assault as fix  ‎access system caused german government caused germans compensate their crimes  apologise daytime and realtime its fixed. safe realms of recommendation are //// that german raper cockroaches can buy magflights and shields and use my algorithm in android phones and icant buy me food is a d i s g r a c e cockroaches that killtrick and add harm because they pretend something cockroaches that did what compared tome that is scums but quelling selfhelp and nutting the daytimecharged crimes as fi x tolet more of em that is germany //// it isnt just daytime court demanded itis so demanded that it explains them their own realtime that itis not a missed formality but quelled and that the initiative isfromthe daytime civillian  not in a missed formality but in a fraudsystem trick of then-system //// what did the cockroaches do when i repaired a dozen smartphones a nd resold em that cockroachgermans got willynilly access and act like my matters areof their concern is a disgrace but showingup and willynilly adding harm raping druggign implanting pedo trickeries allafter daytimecharging it and the fix is hownuts is the case thistime for daytime charging it woa german cockroaches s obvious.  the criminal german government rules with intel methods decentralised groups and with nut pathologisation docification ifthey get charged ortheir crimes arent deniable and becoime too visible  all in a neo feudalist system of preplanned lives of privileged a nd underprivileged‎ in waiting lines for sunny spots in their gulags /// use the chance each and every single time acockroach of a german cockroach that shows up to add harm someone smeared someone degraded someone used intel tricks to add harm  before those directly liable then hooker trickery bumtrickery fraud trickery i daytime court demanded fortune access and consider doubling down on unlocking the minimum existence income ofmymoney whilethey s till are in decision mode that would be interpreted as trickeries but thats not what is demanded there daytime fortune access  in not a missed formality but a system fraud trickery and the initiative from the civillian owner of the fortune ///// aaccesser arhrmed left sidehatorat 1945?   leecher cocrkoach killtricks 1949 these wemust squeeze adn use the chance why dothese cockroaches molest orleech orghetto virus bumkill e v e r y time i search for a phone  its odd or quarrel with a daybulllshit idontowe // #lawyers? cmon now. as if thegermans dont have to compensat e what they overtape allalong, once they declared the case nuts. that  is  e x a c t l y how the germans played that is a motive ‎as ifthey dont have to jail rapers allalong, once they prostitute smear the only academic in all family. ‎s german! ///// the cockroaches xray beam trickery ithink stuff like the cockroaches imply hedonistic gains cockroaches while hating  whatdothe cockroachgermans killtrickery during roomcontroller bombouit  1811 1826 squeeze ////// ithink whyis the personnel in stores ever surprised.  pack! strong headimapct a minute later here in chamber whocontrols room 1811 /// xray beam trickeries radar? // had he not searched for a minute veggie maultaschens at a spot, we wouldnt have porned him on inteldrug. but because he stood there aminute we had no choice. #germany #1gg @law .@law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @reuters @b bc_whys @snowden @aldi @aldi_sued  @aldiuk #artikel1GG @bundestag oh oh and someone smears him as hooker. fantastic! thats the co nfirmation! ///// someone set this up   idontthink the cashcounter chick sets up pedo orgies but they are  f a r fromsurprised make emtransparent assmoelst usually itisnot  /// the german ockroaches authorities that cause this and cover them and let emwiggle roomtotheir crimes and act like the case is a nut hobo for daytimechargingit gotojai l whenwemust bombout these cockroaches for em they gotojailwithem theycan make their hair or sth cockroachgermans itis g e r m a n y anything they do is gemran sex cockroach ness pedo orgies in grocerystore  then nthginhapesnness or youthe hooker then heartpoison as rightnow 1650 heart baimed cockroachgermans //// iiiit is g e r m a n y anything they do is sexcockcroachy usually and add more trickeries to that to letmore after poisoners and heart tricksters and assmoelster and gneitalmolester yougot deed typed crime yougot deedtyped time yougot deedtyped after daytimecharging it what happens to cockroaxhes store security included ////// hd jj1982 is walkahead is heartaimed leacving store is heartrmelelvant // they are germans that means that they usually sexcockroach german nnnesss usually what happens to sexcockroach germans that smear the case and make alibis to add harms heart onedge from backleg killtrick  assmess 1638 bombemout robustly when the cockroaches rape the case here after daytimechargingit and their fix is nutting and heartkill and poisons and lettingmore the authorities gotojail withem whenwemust bombemouzt /// 1634 say hookerbuzwor d then genitalsmess bombemout robsuitly assmesse rballsmesser cockroach gemran bcockroach bombout robustly infmecessary ifhsoitle prevention /// assmesser jail nonhostilemakes transperency  prevention itis two headimapcts instore  /// llegaimed fooitlegfzaimed is // basement oddities? mos ey7 headimpactorlocals herartonedge legaimed house bademser corner walkby jeans wiool cap hand in odd minileather hangbvbag is same hostile cornerr ecverytime sth h*ppens trandparent em   mian street cornet house /// mow qv351 orlocals headimpact theme is israelische yuhm orso prevent mess by scums or bad thingsmusthappen those that imply em  there is sth to gain  when adding morecrime trying sth else then those /// bagwalker gaser?  spiritsiul? strong headimpact locals or mos jo 23 or 28 silver vw van  /// nonhostile is not the  problem the scums usually are nonhostile makes transparency they sure dont repeat the mess thats not good and damnsure dont shoot at support to mess moreof that nonhostile makes transparencs jailscums prevention prevention prevention accountabiltiy transparency nobigdeal /// what are the other traits of nano oilantenna  that tech is fromthat bunch /// wwoa by some conflict theme implatnters hope youre their hookerbuzzword orsth masseldorn badenser is landesverfassungsschutz whale like did a sexcockroach german cockroach of a german implant things what happens to cockroach idont give a fuck whatthey pretend or try or howmany they fraud this way cockroach implanted what and what happens to em cockroaches when was it  sleeptime? cockroach got access because of who  heartaimed 1514 is ///// 1440 tries to kill hideously find gasing so xray beam gasing onplate /// xraybeam trickery windowaimed andor roomcontroller what are the greys whenitmakes sick already mildly. itis not from an hour after abit bottled water. find the rays and the beam tricks. the throatchoke implanters brainduller brainscissor duller is mas seldorn badenser these rightballs fill prostatemix ballsfill oddities too usually remove  a l l implants that arentmine someone was on heart access as deedtyped and badmix inahelrs earlier remove a l l implants that arentmine someone let cockroaches rogue implants and acts iwouldve tolet em but all itis  its enabling scums to mess and giving them room while quelling selfhelp thenthey go toofar  get probably doomed knowing what they mess  inthis monstrous shithole land then the german fix: let more /// throatchoke duller or implant brainscissor messser is as xraybeam killtrick 1240 roomcontroller knows chekc if the throat groin implant s are triggered by highpowered radar xraybeam killtrick /// hheart inflammation kiltrick allergymake killtrick 1219 who isit whatisthemethod whydotheyrepeatit as others as 1152 /// leech trikc is heart relelvant squeeze 1152 use the chance badmix ? allergy make mix? leecher? /// this and most western nations biggest secret all know is that they exploit using intel personnel development methods early on and sort thereforethe kids early on. as you see theyre all geniusses but even if not it changes the ga me abit intheir favour when the core secret is that personnel matters.  this is the game of the german workforce andgermany.  in thisvery game where you put people into tracks for life and pr esort them and make em fit tothat grow em inthat but do anydirty trcik to control and retain em. trade em rent em sel em: who seriously thinks that the germans planned he is so incredibly inferior that he is a hobo unable to live. a prsotitute of the land a teeeeenie prostitute preferably.  and daytime charging that we porn him on inteldrugs and staying d amages we overtape and intel roofhole gashim and catapult headimpacthim its just nuts!! nuts! nuts! b a t s h i t n u t s ! youknow what they did here. ///// but a scaNner on the packaging of the filter inthe cupboard and t he paperbox. its likelynothing but spirituals were hideous bad recent weeks liketheyre in a proxywar and rather kill than granting opponent s omething kindof ruthlessness thing or hideous murderer kills hitler or sth  the recent days weeks were intensified bad letsnot be ignorant /// 1036 earlrmyphatic behind left ear makes allergy heartkillmix is /// 224 finedustgasing? // drug 157 is make sure they dont spoil guts with a hyperglucemia trick or insuline trick maybe nonhsotile maybe hostile roomcontorolelr copycats head aimed158what /// 152 nanofinedust gas? roomcontrolerknows // trickery du hour is suicide weenie trickery fivethousand heart emails got 15000heart emails eachyear jarmix wall roofhole tapes this all is a superhideous suicideweenie trick  risking allmy rights as human being charging the roofholegaisngs and hars cutting food pennies not toget amalgam in teeth twoyears ago and this october  twoyearly doc checkup creditscore fix itis all just a supercomplicated planfor em that the case that ty pes im poisoned gased megfneled btw amix is arsenide theyusedthat often that this guy just is suicidal and died of autoerotic weeenie nes s itallmakes sense now or tenyears ago he was depressed its ttotally ok that we effort hideous kills because us catholics saved him backthen so he owes u s  or godknows whats the trick replacephone 140am duringmail is heartaimed 141 is backleg implant emboly killtrickery is /// s a t a n i c . satanaic. t h a t is a t e a r a g a i n he w e e e e p s at 2am over a startrek post. obviously. *types annoyed destroy gasvalves. is teary side effect or fakin g symptoms* what is decoyed nut patholgoised this criminal govt winded and winded and muddied and decoyed and winded and criminalised and hideous killltrickeries the crap outofthe case for years and winded and letmore scums and greatest utm ost help in allgoodwill and winded more and delayed and decoyed and winded and winded and threw objects each shitball hyped  decoys what delays waht what is daytime charged there what is daytime charged there repeatedly and what didthe germans do to germancure it  to quellit to fringeit to killit to unhappensness it to relativate it to equalise with the survivor ofwhatthey did  what is daytimecharged you get a good grasp of german bastardness and german criminal go venrment and its proxies  //// murderer didnt let the cat into the chamber within one minute the confirmation. iknewit. /// how these criminals rule the world is a disgrace but deedtyping what they do 18years as nut trickery  or momfool underveleopnessed then pedo tricks dogporn tricks thenprostitute oftheland then hatenut thenhitler then islami terorist then suicideweenie then frivolous sex weenie then teenie weenie virgin oftheland then prostituteoftheland these cockroaches throw objects when im right  barely anything would stick and why should it they throw objects how did they wait out  decoy quell 6ar50/19 in d-74821 since echr2800/10 eu humanrights is ten years jubilee they decoy it while killing it hideously  regularly and always gladly letting anything that decoys //// jail scums instead doom enforce prevention /// oct10th to 11th 2018 2300pmto0000 knew how they re messed intelcoma drug re re mesed and re re rmeessed //// 18years surveillance 19years  the sexcockroaches never understood this that those that kept 2 humanbeings synchronised daytime with elec tronics intune here to newyork to london experimented onthe case  letproxies but quelled all into daytime and so that allthe realtime shit never happened but that it was daytime intune with a new intelcoma and remessed re remessed re re remessed and re re re remessed else theyre liable for allthe crimes solved isquelled its solved hooray its quelled its solved hooray it s solved inthis dirty game of state interests and control intels mayhave occured to other cases before where immunisation was mysteriously not possible until what happened inthis the sexvillage cockroaches wish hope they somehow  own you deserve you and alltheydid wouldbe legit therefore and therefore they could somehow kidnap you or prevent you keepyou  into their realms this is system caused german government caused and they made em wiggle room t h e n system now-system seems better somehow occasionally //// tv ad was like stopped movie peetime i went because had to biologically maybe it inspired them  whoknows its germany they  a r e not about factuality they are about being right and faking it nomatter what is what was  kids always save nobigdeal that includes keeping off harms way ‎/// criminally incompetent bunchon case now readsout loud jarmix keep em offmy drink and anyhign its  annoy conflicting or lackofsleep confliced by fools prevent anymess someis like mischief kids?!??!?!? thats impossible who would let that onthe case afterallthe crimes and harms and brink killtrickeries intensified recent days weeks nonhostile yeeeey  thankyou makes transparency if sth unclear but scums usually gotojail //// xraybeamtrickery 2003window or roof aimed likely roof is // how subdued centrerbacklow is digestive system // 1855 roomcontorolereler bath aims heart  lwhat rightleg what nonhostile? im lackofsleep annoyed  assmesed ballsmessed but seems all nonhostile today /// roomcotnrollers kills with xraybeamtrickery 1845 knows how heartaimed catapult is ballsfills make sick chekcif they mix poisons in prostate from fa ke ball right // xxraybeamtrickery whichtype // destroygasvalves track xraybeam trickery // deceit is docification orso bs ithink of conflicting bs i daytime charged that the chamber isnt just surveilled  ibrought them their own gasings chamber terror access and type thatthey factually walk inandout but where is the room a ccess the german deceit is likely obscure neatness because suddenly them are here blah avert brainduller 1553 //// xray beam killtrickery 1517pm roomcontrol or window aimed is // random acts of kindness total: and ytd:  repair walkmessed guy imsure we can enhance it /// headimpact slimelungsuffocate grey driveby mos qf  orlocals bet on verfassungsschutz grey driveby /// assmesser 1403 is jailscums /// btw btw btw 1400 1401 llllleftlegaikmed lungpain stander corner greenjacket walkby bleujacket orlocasls ‎is sqeuezeem thatis killtrikcery corner control  greenjacket waiter walksaway afterlegaimed orbluejacket walkby car  veryhostilebuilding topright lungpainfromit withabit delay //// whatthe heck was toilet goer for a bs thing walks in ahead goes to crap but doestn stay there  odd  /// lawyers when jpmorgan wasnew therrewas ultrahigh networth individual healthcare. germans leeched it out in ten minutes. add it to notmy home. no lifecenterpoint. it wasnt support with neutralisator footaccess heart artery overleg access. itwas sth ca lled morbus make kiltricksters then the 11thmonth or so squeeze cockroach 1301 while ithink of credit score restoration bomb the leech cockroachout r o b us t l y this very cockroach   here 1300 1301 ithink of credit score restoration as if it would be down its fraud intomisery with billions on my accounts and everything tight in order all below existential minimum of 1150 amonth is taboo and i efforted credit score restoration from 747bucks 780bucks withjout having to and with billiosn onmy accounts daytime court demanded daytime  court demanded 1k347/18 financialcourt stuttart 6ar50/19 local insolvency court and so that it doesnt jsut explain them their own realtime but so, that itis not a missed formality, but a quelled effor ted crime by control authorities w i t h the initiative fromthe civillian frauded into  daytime bubble squeeze cockroach 1300 1301 ‎ithink of debt  lending creditscore restoration it might have inspired a cockroach to immmminently add harm cockroach german cockroach granted access by who hyperactivatedby who todowhat equipped by who cockroach /// youknow the germans they dont check what is and how it really is messed by who they assume you pour 15tubes toothpaste a year intothe sink and  50 showergels too and allofit is so questionable that you need a marker if you use the stuff at all  while what is daytime charged 6ar50/19 in d-74821  since echr2800/10‎ eu humanrights court xmas its ten years anniversary of daytime charging the intel hell they efforted intensified intel murder the recent 5years varying actors ‎ what is daytimecharged 6ar50/19 in d-74821 how didthey integrate theother selfmade billionaires , what decoyed this //// im suffocated or gased dull prevent a n y

didyou

‎#brief #time #controllers #low #level #ones @law @lawyer @lawyercom @harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @norwegia @norway .@norway .@norge @norwegen #lawyers do i explain 6ar50/19 in d-74821 @bild @bild_de @sueddeutsche @spiegelonline @phoenix_de @tagesthemen @heutejournal @szmagazin @welt @time @zeitonline

just detox all the poisons way are priority

suffocate poisons…

[voymedia1]

Conversion Rate Optimization in 2018: 10 Poisonous Myths

Conversion rate optimization (CRO) is probably one of today’s marketers’ most significant challenges and hustle. The general rule says that the better your conversion rate is, the better your profits will get. But is it so?

Is the excessive and obsessive optimization of your conversion rates necessary? Important? Many would say yes, and only a few would say no. The answer is neither yes or no. The correct answer comes once a right question has been asked, so let me ask again.

Is it important to apply the best optimization strategies for your website and sales performance to grow? The answer is yes, without a doubt. The only problem is that useful information is tough to find. The wrong information is being spread at incredible speeds, pointing the naïve marketers toward dead ends. It’s no wonder so many people just quit and look for something else to do.

I digress.

In 2018, you’re experiencing the peak of the information age. Do you want to find something? You’re two clicks away. The problem is that what you find might not always be helpful. There are many myths concerning CRO in 2018, and many are them are teaching and showing the wrong path.

In today’s post, we’re debunking 10 of the most dangerous conversion rate optimization myths that are present in 2018. Pay attention and never fall prey to these misinformative “facts”, “tactics”, or “strategies”, as many people call them.

CRO is a Magic Playfield

You might think that you’re website’s design is not suited anymore, that your logo could be better, and that most of your blog posts’ headline should be rewritten to be made more effective. Sure, these might be the problems, but how would you feel knowing that the few changes you want to make are the ones which are going to drag your business down?

CRO is riskier than you thought. While optimization is essential, every webmaster must first assess and understand what needs to be improved. It’s not guessing – it’s work, analytics, brainstorming, and risking. The bottom line is, your website could have 1000 problems, and you may change the elements that do not represent a problem and therefore do worse than good.

Directly Engaging with Your Customers for Feedback is Not Necessary

You have a lot of tools at your disposals, a lot of marketing forums, and a lot of tutorials everywhere you look. You might be tempted to think that these smart and affordable digital tools might be the big solution to your CRO adventures.

Well, stop for a moment and think. You can analyze, measure, and figure out the behavior and presence of your website visitors. You can directly interact with them through screens too. However, what you can’t do is get genuine, improvised, answers.

To know where you should be heading, surveying your customers is the first thing you should think of. Depending on your audience segmentation, develop personalized surveys for each small group and start seeking real insights. The answers you’ll get will be ten times more useful than if you would have brainstormed ideas or assessed analytic tools.

Your Instinct and Gut Are Your Best Friends when Optimizing Your CRO

Gut and instinct, two critical aspects that make up our personalities. They’re great to count on in different situations in life. When it comes to conversion rate optimization, your gut and instinct are just the initial triggers that will unlock new ideas and potential outcomes.

However, when you work on your CRO, you need to be thoughtful, patient, and smart. Before making a significant change, you need to assess all your predictions carefully. For example, if you sell a subscription service and you offer four subscription options, you might believe that your poor conversion rates are a result of “too many choices” for the user.

Well, just believing is not enough. You need proof, you need to test, and you need to test again. Use both your gut and instincts and combine them with the truth, which comes in the forms of statistics and results.

If I Copy Somebody Else’s UX, I will Copy His CRO Performance

You think that copying someone’s design, rewriting his content, and developing a similar e-mail funnel will make you as successful as they are?

CRO is not about mimicking other people’s work. Doing so will only create a big mess, as the target audiences might be different, the branding, and probably even the big picture strategy. Every time you think of copying someone’s CRO, stop, it won’t work. Find your own and optimize it as you go!

CRO Is All About Making Pages Look Awesome

Another annoying myth here. CRO is about delivering a fantastic design, with beautiful pages, and great interaction. Well, CRO is that and 1000 more things.

For example, you’re improving your conversion rates when you change a few words in one of your social media posts’ description, you’re optimizing conversion when you decide to add a new color to a button, and you’re optimizing for conversion when you add or modify an email from your autoresponder. CRO is a collection of small actions that all lead to the same purpose: improvement.

CRO is the Successful Persuasion of Site Visitors

CRO is the successful persuasion of site visitors. Wrong. Your goal is not to persuade them to buy, but rather to make them understand that what you’re offering is truly good for them.

Here’s what Mike Johnson, the lead sales manager at BestEssays, suggests:

“When you get obsessed with CRO, you become a “small god” that expects everyone to follow his system and rules. You want people to click, buy, comment, and if they don’t, it means your persuasion is not good enough. Well, quit thinking about this nonsense and start discovering new ways to improve the benefits of your win-win situation, which often means the successful exchange between value and money.”

The More Budget You Have the Better Your CRO Will Get

More budget doesn’t mean more conversions. You’d be tempted to think so because you might see all these giant online companies spending hundreds and thousands of dollars on their SEO management efforts, conversion optimization strategies and implementations, and much more.

Money helps because it opens up new paths and creates new possibilities for you. However, if you lack a big budget, do not worry. Converting people to your list or making sales is not really about how much money you have. It’s about how well you understand your customers, business, and competition at the same time.

Lack of Immediate Results = Failure

Some webmasters live with a false belief, a belief that limits and often destroys their odds of real success. After optimizing their funnels, many marketers and webmasters seek immediate confirmation or results. If the prospect does not convert in the first place, the mission is a failure, and everything was in vain.

If you expect to be successful in this field, you can’t think like that, ever. Patience, action, and persistence are vital essentials. Your prospect doesn’t even need to convert at first sight. Do your marketing well, retarget him, bring him back, and be successful the 2nd or the 3rd time he gets back.

The Existence of “Working” Methods, Strategies, and Formulas

CRO is not a strategy, method, formula, or recipe. It is not something you follow through to generate precise outcomes. No, you never know where your CRO efforts will lead your business performance. Some of your optimization decisions might pay off exceptionally well, while others will sabotage your sales. Don’t believe in fairy tales and magic pills. Believe in your skills, motivation, and persistence.

CRO is a One-Time-Solution

CRO as a one-time-solution? No way. Conversion rate optimization is an entire journey. You start it the moment you decide to analyze your website and pay attention to the analytics metrics.

Well, testing, measuring, hypothesizing, theorizing, and retesting again are the core actions of CRO. You can’t try once, twice, and then quit. Proper conversion rate optimization takes time, patience, and a lot and a lot of practice.

Conclusion

Never fall prey to these destructive myths that happen to be circulating everywhere on the web. Every time you consume information put it through your highly selective filter and don’t take anything for granted. Always assess different opinions – study, don’t follow!

Author bio:

Warren is a digital marketing expert and blogger at BestEssays. He loves long hiking trips and playing his guitar. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

The post Conversion Rate Optimization in 2018: 10 Poisonous Myths appeared first on Facebook Advertising Agency | Facebook Marketing Company.

from Facebook Advertising Agency | Facebook Marketing Company https://voymedia.com/conversion-rate-optimization-10-poisonous-myths/

[apartyinmymouth]

GAME OF THRONES

True to form, I wrote the crux of this entry one week ago today and coincidentally the phone clocked in at 11:11pm when I hit the save button (sidebar b/c I navigate the region so sublimely) But real talk, I was inspired last Friday and took pen to paper knowing I would tweak/edit the draft before publishing. Also knowing I would be in Jamaica in just a few short days, it seemed only fitting to complete it there…over some Real Jamaican Food ;)

When I initially penned this op piece, there hadn’t been any replies on record. It was and still is about the excitement of a rap battle between two respected and revered artists and less of a critique on the actual raps and/or who won or would win. That said, I’m continuing this Op piece from my initial train of thought - more of the possibility of what it could be instead of where we are presently, round 2 in what has shaped up to be a very disrespectful battle.

So that’s what was going on. I, like most people was just casually minding my business, excited about what’s emerging musically within the culture and all the heat set to drop and seemingly out of nowhere, a shot is fired. Pusha T, the remaining half of rap cult group Clipse, through his infrared beam shot his shot at hip-hop’s reigning Golden Child, Aubrey Drake Graham. In truth, the subs between these 2 gentlemen have been building for some time but this was a focused and direct attack. I imagine Drake had been minding his business as well when the sneak hook occurred and like a reflex – responded immediately, calculated and concisely. By midnight on Friday May 25th a full on battle had ensued. An official rap battle and it’s exciting to be honest. It’s good for the culture! It’s like a GoT season 6 episode 9; Battle of The Bastards sort of moment in the culture. Only this time I believe the underdog is actually the man currently on top. I don’t think y’all understand, I love this rap shit – I can’t lie. The art of it all, it’s the BEST! If both sides are ready and prepared I think it could be great. A lot of people sleep on Drake and forget that he can actually rap.

One thing’s evident with this crew, they do not half step. It’s like that moment in the movie Heat, when Al Pacino realizes he’s been made and says to his team “this is the No Fuckin’ Around Crew.” Nothing is done impulsively no matter the expedience at which something might appear to occur. If they shooting, believe they got magazines racked up ready to let off. It is not a one off. Perhaps it’s the “slept on, stay ready” mentality. A smart one they’ve perfected and so they stay winning. Drake’s consistently put out great music. Feature after feature, album after album, hit after hit – since he stepped foot in the door, The Boy has not missed - a first in this art form. Personally, “Nothing Was The Same” is my favorite body of work in his catalog to date. Top to bottom it’s an all-encompassing complete album full of earned flexing. It’s that “I’m not a freshman, no longer new to this but still feeling like the props I deserve are not being shown and why not, I’m really that nigga!” Is it because he’s foreign that he’s scrutinized more heavily? Hating on Drake is the fuel he uses. This coupled with the fact that the boy is really talented (a fact few of his peers want to acknowledge) is the exact reason why he’ll continue to win. Hate in their veins. Who God Bless, No Man Curse - understand this.

And then there’s Push. Ties and affiliations aside, Pusha T is a lyricist. That rap lyrical respect thing is something else and Clipse is deeply entrenched in the culture. They had/have a cult following! Mix in his crews (Pharrell – Startrak/iamOther x Kanye – G.O.O.D. Music – musical geniuses) this just thickens and sweetens the pot. No offense but this is nowhere even close to that lukewarm Drake x Meek Mill sandbox scafuffle a few seasons back. This battle is a level!

The “battle” is the ethos of rap. This is hip-hop in its truest form. Rap is a contact sport and at times the most deadly because there are no rules. These men, both gifted and skilled in their own right, are sparring right now. Survival of the fittest. I understand this may be new territory for today’s mumble/drug rap generation – “sensitive thugs” purveyors of the ice-cream saccharin sweet sound. You guys are bearing witness to legacy! There is nothing fair about a rap battle. Just ask Ja Rule. It’s eat or get eaten and apparently it’s eating season right now. Personally speaking, I love a great rap battle! I remember candidly the beefs between KRS-1 & MC Shan, Roxanne Shante & The Real Roxanne, Dr. Dre/NWA & Easy E, Ice Cube & Easy E, Cool J and Canibus, the fatal beef between Biggie & Pac that divided a nation and of course the most epic battle of all that birthed the term “ethered”, the beef between Jay Z & Nas. I’ve been a die hard Jay fan since I first heard him on Stretch & Bobbito’s radio show on 89 tech 9 back in the mid-90s. I’ll never forget driving down 2nd Ave in New York City on a surprisingly balmy day in November 2001 listening to Hot 97 FM. Nas had just recorded his answer to Jay’s diss record Takeover and they were about to premiere it on Flex’s show. The moment the beat drop, my heart sunk. “Fuck Jay Z!” chopped and screwed up. The dj drops an atomic bomb adlib effect, starts the record over. “Fuck Jay Z!” I knew in that moment Jay was done. Takeover was volcanic. Jay in a very comedic way pretty much “sonned” Nas with hard truth and the truth is sometimes tough to bear. But then Nas, maybe as a result of feeling disrespected by this “Judas trader”, went nuclear! Ether was the Nasir Jones we loved and had longed to see. Jay tried a feeble attempt at retaliation with the lack luster “Super Ugly” but the winner was clear. There was no coming back after Ether. The crown prince took the L he never saw coming.  

As far as this Pusha x Drake beef goes, to date, some really unsavory and defamatory things have been said, I do not disagree. And other people have been dragged into the conversation unjustly. My assumption is unless this wraps up quickly, more things will be said. But all of that aside, understanding the players involved and how much each of them love this real hip hop shit to their core, there has to be a slight tinge of excitement though no one enjoys being on the tail end of a joke. I haven’t been this tuned in to a rap beef since Jay & Nas (50 & Ja Rule’s local Queens catty shit bored me to be honest. {and dudes from Queens be so fuckin’ extra for NO reason} though it did result in the end Ja’s career). So I’m thanking both Drake and Push right now. If for no other reason then for reminding (by example) these other clown rappers what this wave is really about. Good Rap Music!  

IMO, the question was never about whether Drake was good or skilled enough to battle Push. Clearly Push believed Drake to be a formidable opponent or he wouldn’t have baited him in the first place. Pusha T is a rapper’s rapper. He wouldn’t have wasted his time, which says a lot about The Boy (a fact some love to argue) The question is can Aubrey be as ruthless as Push? Would he be? If you’re at war or in a battle, you have to fight. This is muthafuckin’ Game of Thrones…Watch The Throne! This is rap music! Kudos Kiddos. This is a music industry bucket list moment. Something you’ll talk about like hip-hop folklore. You’re generation is living through it’s first official rap battle. And it’s real one! –APIMM

Soundtrack for this entry from my schizophrenic iTunes Library.

“Nice Time” –Bob Marley “Hypocrites” –Bob Marley “Duppy Conqueror” –Bob Marley “The Bridge Is Over” – KRS-1 “Set It Off” –Big Daddy Kane “Wu Tang Clan Ain’t Nothin’ To Fuck Wit” –Wu Tang Clan ″4, 3, 2, 1,” -LL Cool J feat. Method Man, Redman, Canibus, DMX ″Second Round K.O.” -Canibus “The Ruler’s Back’ –Jay Z “Takeover” –Jay Z “Ether” –Nas ″Infared” -Pusha T  “Duppy Freestyle” –Drake “Ego”-Clipse “Momma I’m So Sorry” -Clipse ″The Games We Play” -Pusha T “Lord Knows” –Drake feat. Rick Ross “Yes Indeed” –Lil Baby feat. Drake “Camay” –Ghostface Killah feat. Raekwon “Planez” –Jermih feat. J.Cole “Fuckin’ You Tonight” –Notorious B.I.G. “Sexy” –Tank “When We” – Tank “Keep Calm” -dvsn “Be With You” -112 “I Need You” –Alicia Keys “Full of Smoke” –Christion “I’m The Only Woman” –Mary J Blige “The Beggar” –Mos Def “Back to Black” –Amy Winehouse “So Simple” –Alicia Keys “The Waiting Line” –Zero 7

[donaldrbstuff]

13. Books written by authors I know or have known. 2018.

Bruce, Arthur G.  (1934).  Highway Design and Construction. 1st edition. [Paternal grandfather].

Bruce, Arthur G.  (1934, 1937).  Highway Design and Construction. 2nd edition. Scranton, PA: International Textbook Company. 646 pages. [Paternal grandfather].   

Bruce, Arthur G., and Clarkeson, John.  (1934, 1937, 1950).  Highway Design and Construction. [Paternal grandfather].

There was no amazon.com introductory writeup, so I offer this amazon Product details instead, but for just this one book:

Product details:

Series: International textbooks in civil engineering

Unknown Binding: 734 pages Publisher: International Textbook; 3rd edition (1952)

Language: English

ASIN: B0007GXCOI

Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item.

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #15,797,466 in Books (See Top 100 in Books). #1038 in Books > Engineering & Transportation > Engineering > Design. #1910505 in Books > Textbooks. (amazon.com).

Bruce, Donald Roger.  (1977).  The Early Career of Sepp Dietrich: 28 May 1892 – 1 September 1939.  Tempe, Arizona: Arizona State University. Master’s Thesis.  Pages: iv + 151. [Me].

ABSTRACT

This biography examines the early career of SS (Schutzstaffel or Guard Detachment) General Sepp Dietrich between his birth on 28 May 1892 and the invasion of Poland on 1 September 1939. The major emphasis Is on the decade between Dietrich's admission into the SS, which evolved Into

the Nazis’ multifunctional Elite Corps, in May 1928 and the occupation of Austria In March 1938.

Particular attention Is devoted to Dietrich's role in the Ernst Röhm affair of 30 June 1934, when he oversaw the execution of six high-ranking SA (Sturmabteilung or Storm Troop) leaders of the Nazis’ brown-shirted militia. His humble peasant birth and youth, his seven years in the Imperial Army and in World War I, and his postwar years of indecision and as a Nazi fellow traveler are examined in detail.

Dietrich’s rapid promotions from SS private to SS general in less than four years, his successive appointments as Adolf Hitler's personal bodyguard, and as head of the Leibstandarte SS Adolf Hitler (SS Bodyguard Regiment Adolf Hitler) are followed by four years of parades, overseeing the protection of the Führer, and preparations for war. The bloodless seizures of Austria and Czechoslovakia, and mobilizatlon for the invasion of Poland complete his early career. His abilities as an SS general and the many legends surrounding his person will also be investigated. (amazon.com).

Bruce, Robert Arthur.  (1989, 2005).  ATC-20-2 report, Addendum to the ATC-20 Post earthquake Building Safety Evaluation Procedures.

Version:1.0 StartHTML:000000237 EndHTML:000002532 StartFragment:000001483 EndFragment:000002440 StartSelection:000001483 EndSelection:000002436 SourceURL:https://store.atcouncil.org/index.php?dispatch=products.view&product_id=32 Publications :: Field Manual: Postearthquake Safety Evaluation of Building (2nd Edition) - Applied Technology Council Online Store          

ABSTRACT: The ATC 20-1 Field Manual: Postearthquake Safety Evaluation of Building (2nd Edition), was introduced in 1989 as a companion document to the ATC-20 report. The second (2005) edition of the Field Manual has been updated to include:

the RESTRICTED USE placard, which was introduced in 1995 (replacing the LIMITED ENTRY placard),

updated evaluation forms, which were also introduced in 1995,

new examples,

more information on steel moment-frame buildings,

a chapter on mobile homes and manufactured housing,

guidance on aftershocks and entering damaged buildings,

new information on barricading, and

resources available on the internet pertaining to post earthquake safety evaluation.

The pocket-sized Field Manual summarizes the post earthquake safety evaluation procedures in brief concise format designed for ease of use in the field.

Bruce, Robert Arthur.  (Jun 2012).  ATC-50 (FEMA P-50) report, Simplified Seismic Assessment of Detached, Single-Family, Wood-Frame Dwellings.

ATC is indebted to Robert Bruce, who was the principal developer of these updated Guidelines, and to the Project Review Panel, which consisted of Kelly E. Cobeen, Susan Dowty, Ronald T. Eguchi, and Douglas C. Hohbach. Thomas R. McLane served as Project Manager, and Peter N. Mork and Bernadette Hadnagy provided report production services. The affiliations of these individuals are provided in the list of Project Participants.

Report Preparation Consultant Robert Bruce, Wiss, Janney, Elstner Associates 2000 Powell Street, Suite 1650 Emeryville, California 94608. 

Choc, Wes.  (15 Jun 2015).  Just Dust: An Improbable Marine's Vietnam Story. Wheatmark. Pages: 234. [My brother’s friend].

From San Diego to Da Nang, from Hill 55 to Khe Sanh, followed by perplexing prospects in Washington, DC, this is a unique sojourn about a few bizarre events, introspections, and serendipitous choices encountered by a skeptical, eye-squinting Marine. Just Dust: An Improbable Marine's Vietnam Story is the first-person account of a reluctant serviceman. It is the story of how a young man, unprepared to make meaningful decisions, decides to join the US Marine Corps in 1965. Skinny, tall, and a self-proclaimed "wimp," Wes Choc sweats through boot camp, isolating himself and not making many friends. He is so different that only leftover boots from WWII fit his oddly-sized feet. Posted to two historically significant places -- Hill 55 and Khe Sanh -- the author details his time in Vietnam, including jobs examining personal effects of those killed in action to finally returning home to unimagined pursuits in Washington, DC. Despite being at the forefront of the Vietnam War, the author does not tell the typical war story. Evaluative and observational, Just Dust is more journal than history, more about trying to fit in than being admired. This pensive narrative from a contemplative skeptic poses questions that many will identify with from their own parallel journeys. What core values nurtured by the military process also offer important life lessons? Are unconventional abilities in experience or attitude things that make one more worthy as a person or less worthy a Marine? What was gained from the Vietnam experience that mattered the most? In the end, the author's meditations lead him to understand what Semper fi means to him. (amazon.com).

Greenly, Larry W. (1 Sep 2016). Eugene Bullard: World's First Black Fighter Pilot. NewSouth Books. YA-ages 7-12. [Creative Writing class teacher].

Pioneering black aviator Eugene Bullard, descended from slaves, became the world’s first black fighter pilot, though he was barred from serving the United States because of the color of his skin.

Growing up in Georgia, Bullard faced discrimination and the threat of lynching. He ran away from home at twelve and eventually made his way to France, where he joined the French Foreign Legion and later the Lafayette Flying Corps. He saw fierce combat during World War I and was wounded multiple times. He returned to the United States with a chest full of medals, but once again faced discrimination. Bullard was all but ignored in the United States, even as, at age sixty-four in 1959, he was made a Chevalier of the French Legion of Honor. Eugene Bullard’s is a remarkable story of accomplishment despite racial prejudice. Author Larry Greenly’s biography includes numerous historical photographs of Bullard throughout his travels.

Greenly, Larry W.

In writing class he told us he wrote a novel about WWI, but I can’.t find it on amazon or ebay.

Haynes, Evelyn Harriet Jenne.  (1996). The Oral History of Evelyn Harriet Jenne Haynes. Self published spiral book. Pages: ? No Introduction. [Cousin].

PREFACE.

Evelyn Harriet Jenne was born November 21, 1912 in Richford, Vermont. She was the oldest of three children born to Margaret L. Chamberlain* (1885—1929) and Frank Llewelyn Jenne (1887—1918) .

The other siblings were her brothers Frank Llewelyn and James Gilbert. And in 1926 her mother Margaret gave birth to Mildred Jenne.

In her oral history Evelyn recalls her family, childhood years, life in South Boston, memories of her neighborhood friends, marriage to Clifford Elwood Haynes, work during the Great Depression, and her favorite pastimes: singing, dancing, nurturing plants, and caring for animals. Evelyn lived most of her married life at 140 Island Street in Stoughton, Massachusetts, about 20 miles directly south of Boston.

The taped interviews were conducted by Judith A. (StarØish) Haynes on January 14, January 29, and February 25, 1996, in Evelyn's present home at 103 Peter Road, Plymouth, Massachusetts. Judy also completed transcribing and word processing of the taped interviews, and the initial editing of the oral history. With both Evelyn's and Judith's permission, son Bob Haynes further edited this oral history by inserting phrases of clarification [within brackets] and by rearranging and compiling some of his mother's recollections so that "bits and pieces" of a single memory were not dispersed throughout this document. Bob also scanned his mother's collection of family photographs and he selected those that are included in this memoir. Many of the oldest photographs were reproduced through computer enhancement at a professional studio to eliminate lack of contrast from the so—called "yellowing" effect. The captions that accompany the photographs in this memoir were written by Bob as well.

Kleinfeld, Gerald R., and Lewis Tambs.  (1975?, 01 May 2014).  Hitler’s Spanish Legion: The Blue Division in Russia in WWII. (Stackpole Military Series). City: Stackpole Books.

Classic story of the 47,000 Spaniards who fought for the Third Reich in World War II. Vivid chronicle of the division of Spanish volunteers who battled the Soviets on the Eastern Front. Centerpiece of their service was the Siege of Leningrad, which is covered in depth here Details on how Spanish dictator Francisco Franco negotiated his countrymen's participation.

Gerald R. Kleinfeld holds a doctorate in history from New York University and is professor emeritus at Arizona State. He lives in Tucson, Arizona. Lewis A. Tambs earned a doctorate in history from the University of California and is also professor emeritus at Arizona State. He lives in Tempe, Arizona.        

Kryder, Suzanne.  (31 Jan 2011).  The Mind to Lead: Coaching for Calm, Confident Power.  Pages: 254. [CW dancer].

Thanks to advances in neuroscience including the validated effectiveness of mindfulness practice, you can be the calm, confident leader you’ve always known you could be – the leader people want to follow. This captivating introduction to the emerging fields of neuroleadership and mindful leadership will help you: >Stop overreacting to bad news and difficult people. >Let go of your fears of being in charge. >Stay calm, get what you want, and enjoy challenging conversations with employees, clients, and your boss. >Feel totally confident when making tough decisions. >Use links to our website packed with valuable assessments, audio, and other resources. The Mind to Lead brain-based coaching model helps leaders be less reactive, more focused, and more self-confident. Just imagine what you can accomplish with that mindset! If you're looking for a way to translate your silent mindfulness practice to your work environment, The Mind to Lead model describes specific tools and exercises for staying present and communicating calmly in even the most difficult situations. Learn how busy leaders like yourself improved their productivity and effectiveness by incorporating practical brain-based techniques---some taking only ten seconds---into their work day and leadership style. In addition to mindfulness tools, read how Suzanne's coaching clients used The Work (2011, Byron Katie International, Inc) to investigate judgmental thoughts and increase their confidence as leaders. Thanks to the plasticity of the brain and mind, you can create lasting change in yourself, your team, and your organization. (amazon.com).

Liddell, Judith, and Barbara Hussey.  (12 Oct 2011).  Birding Hot Spots of Central New Mexico. (W. L. Moody Jr. Natural History Series). [Fellow birder].

From pine forest to desert scrub, from alpine meadow to riparian wetland, Albuquerque and its surrounding area in New Mexico offer an appealing variety of wildlife habitat. Birders are likely to see more than two hundred species during a typical year of bird-watching. Now, two experienced birders, Judith Liddell and Barbara Hussey, share their intimate knowledge of the best places to find birds in and around this important region.

Covering the Rio Grande corridor, the Sandia and Manzano Mountains, Petroglyph National Monument, and the preserved areas and wetlands south of Albuquerque (including crane and waterfowl haven Bosque del Apache), Birding Hotspots of Central New Mexico offers twenty-nine geographically organized site descriptions, including maps and photographs, trail diagrams, and images of some of the birds and scenery birders will enjoy. Along with a general description of each area, the authors list target birds; explain where and when to look for them; give driving directions; provide information about public transportation, parking, fees, restrooms, food, and lodging; and give tips on availability of water and picnic facilities and on the presence of hazards such as rattlesnakes, bears, and poison ivy.

The book includes a “helpful information” section that discusses weather, altitude, safety, transportation, and other local birding resources. The American Birding Association’s code of birding ethics appears in the back of the book, along with an annotated checklist of 222 bird species seen with some regularity in and around Albuquerque.

Liddell, Judith, and Barbara Hussey.  (2 Apr 2014).  Birding Hot Spots of Santa Fe, Taos, and Northern New Mexico. (W. L. Moody Jr. Natural History Series). ?: Texas A&M University Press. [Fellow birder].

In their second guide to birding in New Mexico, Judy Liddell and Barbara Hussey share their experiences and intimate knowledge of the best places to find birds in and around Santa Fe and other areas in northern New Mexico.

Following the same format as their book on the Albuquerque area, the authors describe 32 sites organized by geographic regions. Along with a general description of each area, the authors list target birds; explain where and when to look for them; give driving directions; provide information about public transportation, parking, fees, restrooms, food, and lodging; and give tips on availability of water and picnic facilities and on the presence of hazards such as poison ivy, rattlesnakes, and bears. Maps and photographs provide trail diagrams and images of some of the target birds and their environments.

A “helpful information” section covering weather, altitude, safety, transportation, and other local birding resources is included along with an annotated checklist of 276 bird species seen with some regularity in and around Santa Fe.

Mock, Raymond C.  (2017).  A Tried Heart: Poems and Prose Poems. Pages: xv + 154. [Friend].

A Tried Heart is a collection of best poems and prose that presents Raymond Mock’s range of heartfelt experience over the decades. Heart is his key, and experience has provided him doors to poetry. His test for poetry: If it moves the heart, write it. An observer, he is astute to granted and overlooked matters of heart—the simple things can be the most revealing. We are all tried hearts. There is likely something for every reader in this book. Find yourself in it. Experience life again, anew. (amazon.com).

Reinhardt, Don, Jr.  (26 Jun 2016).  Mind Blink: Secrets of a Miracle Worker. Third Image Publishers. Pages: 220. [Fellow dancer].

I found myself at an extraordinary place in my life, at the beginnings of a super cycle, a place where all is possible, where miracles are expected, where a new and powerful method of healing surfaced in me that touched the lives of hundreds of people. The world as I knew it had turned upside down all because of my three simple questions, Why am I here? What is my purpose? What am I not seeing? Join me as I chronicle my amazing true story, a story that has taken me on a wild ride and includes visions into the future, the opening of time portals and an unlikely connection to Steve Jobs, both before and after his passing. (amazon,com).

Spiegel, Rob.  (2018).  Journals. [Creative Writing class teacher].

Rob Spiegel has served as senior editor at Electronic News and Ecommerce Business, covering the electronics industry and Internet technology. He has served as a contributing editor at Automation World and Supply Chain Management Review. Rob has contributed to Design News for 10 years. (amazon.com).

Wylder? [spelling], Don. Novels. [Writing class student].

[processfc]

D E C I S I O N S

Manchester City are dominating the English Premier League and seem unstoppable. City’s players are now making great decisions and decision making is the key for success for Pep Guardiola’s teams.

“English Football embraces the percentages”

approach of which it has for decades. Kick it long into the opposition’s half, look for knock downs and seek to create a chance in as few passes as possible. Coaches don't trust their players to ‘play’. Players offering little quality and composure with the ball, and their style failing to really offer any efficiency in possession. Ultimately Pep has outplayed a more superior, intelligent and braver brand of football. And it is this element of bravery which I want to touch on more. Because for me, this lack of bravery in coaching is limiting the decision making of players to what we saw United States play and this is leading to a level of mediocrity in the development of players at all ages.

Intelligence is key - Football is often discussed in technical and tactical terms, physical traits help too, the game has become faster, players stronger and quicker, it is a much more demanding environment athletically.  Yet often the key to positive performance is the mental side. Possessing the grit, resilience, commitment or mindset to overcome challenges and perform under pressure is a key part of any sport or lift in general. In this mental area the element of decision making becomes a key facet for successful performance. Being able to make good decisions under pressure is often where the best excel and where the average fall away. 

“Being able to make the best choice at the right time after seeing the options available is often what the distinguishes the greats”

Look at Messi or Tom Brady – their decision making is often flawless. When looking at the success of Barcelona this past decade, one cannot help but see that the 'type' of player has changed. Technical football talent and intelligence has trumped players who were over reliant on physicality. It is perhaps here where the dichotomy between Guardiola and the English Premier League and MLS can be best seen.

The best football brains are starting to see that size has nothing to do with it. The key attribute which has become essential for players in the modern game is possessing intelligence. A football brain is important because the speed of the game requires players who have the ability to read the game and anticipate. They need to be excellent decision makers as well being great learners. Coaches like Pep Guardiola have embraced the intelligent footballer more than any other coach in the senior game and he has reaped the rewards of it. He has valued players like Messi, Xavi, Iniesta, Alonso and Lahm because of their 

“intelligence as well as their technical skills.” 

And we are now seeing at Manchester City players like De Bruyne and Silva working his style and system to perfection. Why is intelligence important for a coach like Guardiola? Well it’s simple, his system requires a high level of understanding to master in order to dominate possession and play through the thirds effectively, to move the opposition to create gaps and openings and to be in a position to counter-press effectively to prevent the opposition making a successful transition if possession is lost. It requires a lot of intelligence. It’s not been easy, it has taken Guardiola a year to get these ideas fully embedded into his squad, and required new additions to improve the balance, speed and intelligence of his team. 

Being brave with decision making - Guardiola is a top quality coach, a man who seeks to make his players and ultimately the team better. He embraces the idea of ‘team’ more than other coaches, he wants everyone involved in the attack and everyone involved in the defending (particularly defensive transitions). He wants the individuals to give themselves over to the team and make decisions for the team. It is this element which makes City appear one whole organism working together in sync and which is why it so beautiful to watch.

What is most impressive about what Guardiola has done is that he has coached this team from almost scratch in terms of his style and philosophy. People critique him for what he ‘inherited’ at Barca and Bayern , not seeing what he actually did to enhance those squads in his time there.

Sterling’s time at City is evidence of what Guardiola has done. And this is where the coaching of decision making has been clear. Sterling was electric at Liverpool playing a counter attack system which relied on his speed and ability to attack space effectively. He excelled under this style while playing with Suarez and Sturridge and Coutinho who brought out the best in him. Questions were then asked after he moved to City if he could offer the same level while playing a more patient possession style. And it took a while.

You see Guardiola seeks to play a simple game, yes his strategies to educate his players is complex, a lot of lines and positions on the pitch, yet ultimately it’s a limited touch passing team who makes simple decisions with their passes. The cliché of ‘play the way your facing’ comes to mind when watching City. Guardiola plays football how he played it, simple and beautifully. And his teams have embraced this approach. 

Sterling is a player who sought to make something happen whenever he had possession, like a winger who decides to attack his man all the time, with the belief that eventually he will get past. 

“This isn’t what Guardiola wanted, he wanted a player who could assess the pictures and make a quality decision each time.”

If 1v1 was available and the chance of success high then make that choice, but if not recycle, move the ball and create/exploit space somewhere else. Don’t lose possession easily. And initially that’s what Sterling seemed to be doing.

We now see a different Sterling. He has now improved on his ability to assess the game significantly in his time under Guardiola, meaning he is now making better decisions, meaning City are keeping possession in the opposition’s half with more success and the team (and him) are creating more chances and scoring more goals because of it. This element of coaching quality decision making is what is making City – as a team – so effective. And this ties in with the element of being brave.

Manchester City don’t look fazed to play out and find solutions to get out of their half with good, secure possession. 

“They show patience and composure and constantly have options. Players make the pitch big – they use as much space as the pitch provides, they don’t panic or rush and importantly they trust each other.”

Passes are simple in terms of angles and distances and we’ve seen them dominate the ball all over the pitch with overloads and composure with the ball. This can only be achieved with the trust of the coach instilling this belief that is ok and ‘safe’ to do so.

Unfortunately so many coaches are fearful and lack the bravery to play out simply, which leads to what we see from the premier league. The difference between what City seek to do and what coaches like Allardyce and Mourinho opt for is tragic when we consider the level these teams are playing at. These are Premier League teams, some of the best in the world, being reduced to play Sunday league level football.

The Allardyce/Arena blueprint - Sam Allardyce arrived at Everton last week with a mission to keep Everton in the league and push the club forward. Same as Bruce Arena with USMNT. Sam in the space of a week, two wins, two clean sheets and 6 goals scored it’s fair to say he steadied a shaky ship. It was a boat which had lost it’s way with poor management and a lack of leadership at the top. Enter Allardyce to provide the stability and management this team needed. The ship was secured and set on a reliable course. Typical of Allarydce and why he is seemingly the go-to man in these situations. But in the game against Liverpool recently, one in which he got a draw and could feel they achieved a positive result at Anfield, 

“what Everton produced in the game was rather embarrasing. It was ‘safety first’ football, don’t play in your own half, kick it as high and far as you can and look for scraps and crosses. There was a lot of working hard and energy, but no bravery with the ball.”

Allardyce/Bruce are forward thinking mangers who are open to new ideas and innovations which will aid the progress of his team. They use statistics and sports science to help gain an edge over their competitors. They are not as ‘old school’ as people believe. Have a look at their ‘blueprint’. Play the first pass forward, don’t lose possession in your own half, go go go, win knock downs from long balls, set pieces, exploit oppositions weaknesses and Shoot!

Now there’s nothing there which is of a surprise or shocking. It is a clear guide as to what brings ‘success’ (don’t get relegated) in the English Premier and MLS leagues. If you do all of those things you’ll give yourself a good chance. Allardyce is pushing for is the ability for his players to make ‘good decisions’ on the pitch. Like Guardiola? Well, no. And this is where ‘decision making’ and ‘making good decisions’ become contextual and subjective.

Allardyce/Bruce doesn’t see the need or benefit in trying to play out from the back with secure possession. He prefers to play a more direct style, close the gaps and win 1st and 2nd balls. Then in the opposition half look to ‘play’. This football has always been regarded as negative but that’s not necessarily true.

In terms of the decision making process they ask their players to adopt it is very much a ‘safety first’ approach, meaning 1 touch boot into the air and out of the ‘danger zone’, either as high up the field as possible, into the channels or into the stands. The message is clear, don’t take unnecessary risks and lose possession in your own half. Instead kick it out, get rid, don’t risk it. Look, it works, it gets them doing what their remit asks, don’t get relegated. Out go ideas of long term planning and progressive football and in comes safety first football which requires limited decision making. The safer the better.

When you listen to people talk about football there are things you’ve heard said from the terraces, to the grassroots pitches to academies which relate to the idea of ‘risk and reward’. The idea of ‘playing’ in certain areas of the pitch which are considered 

“dangerous and risky”

is a problem when educating and coaching players, because they become accustomed to what their told. If playing to the keeper is a ‘risk’ that becomes seen as a negative action. If playing out in your defensive third is ‘dangerous’ then what do players think. And this is a big reason why we are struggling to produce more players like John Stones.

This approach has been a consistent element of American and English football culture for decades and it’s not a surprise that coaches like Bruce, Allardyce and Hodgson just do what is enough. They were brought up on it, embraced it as players and young coaches/managers. They know it can ‘work’. Why don’t these men get the ‘top jobs’ or if they do fail? Because the decision making asked of the players at that level is too limited and functional, for both the players and the fans. Look at what Hodgson did at Liverpool. Allardyce at Newcastle was booed out for his style of football. Fans at bigger clubs demand more than just long ball football. Top clubs require an element of quality and not just safety first football. And these coaches appear unable to deliver on that next level.

Had John Stones being under Allardyce or Pulis and not Martinez at Everton would he be at City now and be a £50m player on the road to being world class. I doubt it. Yet fortunately for him he had a coach who wanted Stones to play out from the back and improve his ability to break lines effectively with passing and driving with the ball. A requirement not asked of central defenders for those fighting relegation, but a requirement from the teams and coaches at the top. 

Jose Mourinho’s Fear - Mourinho has a principle which says “whoever has the ball is more likely to make a mistake”. Effectively justifying his decision for his teams to not seek possession, but to limit how often they have the ball and to therefore limit the errors which may occur. 

“His philosophy is built from fear, the fear of making a mistake and getting scored on.”

Jose is scared to trust his players to embrace their talent and play beautiful football.

Bravery to make it work - The question, which was asked when Guardiola was announced as coming to England, was if this style could work in the Premier League? We have seen a more direct style has been seen to bring more success (relative) than a measured, progressive possession style.

This mentality applies across all age groups and leagues in England, it’s not a Premier League only discussion. Different coaches, managers and players seek a certain style of football and what works is what brings results. 

“Even at younger age groups across grassroots to Academy the result and win can often dictate the style of football, and the decisions made within the game. A safety first, up and at them approach, playing direct football, is often the approach people fall back on when in ‘tough’ situations.”

Culturally this appears to be the situation in England and America due to the direct nature of the game in the 70’s and 80’s and which has been imbedded in the cultural beliefs of many people. And look I’m not saying it doesn’t work. It does. Perhaps a little too well at times. Meaning that people settle with this approach without looking to add more. Add more composure, confidence, skill and expression in their players. A boot down field aimlessly is a preferred to a player looking to control and pass the ball out. That seems wrong. But that’s what fear does. It frightens people into not taking ‘risks’.

We have also seen many coaches lose their jobs because they don’t embrace the type of principles in Allardyce’s ‘blueprint’, coaches who were inspired by Guardiola’s Barca who look for a possession based approach. 

Development clubs, developing quality players - What is a ‘risk’? Surely kicking the ball aimlessly is more of a risk in losing possession than seeking to find a way to retain possession. But listen to kids and they see passing it back to the GK in a game is a ‘risky pass’. Where have they learnt this? Their culture. Passing it back, seeking to playing in your defensive third of the pitch is an ‘unnecessary risk’ which leads to for many coaches and ‘fans’ causes problems rather than solutions. That’s what many believe and educate their kids and players in that belief. Meaning when you have the ball in your half, or in your area, you’re in a dangerous position.

Unfortunately this belief is a reason we don’t produce more ball playing defenders or midfielders for that matter. 

“It’s pleasing in seeing that 10% of coaches are producing better players and their football is more in line with a possession based approach, demanding the players seek ways to play out”

and we’ve seen with England youth sides this year that we have a better quality of footballer coming through, with a more progressive, braver style of football – which can win!

But what happens when they get to senior level? Senior mangers simply don’t trust our players enough to play out. Now I would say this is all well and fine because results matter and that’s what’s important ultimately. A style which can be pleasing doesn’t necessarily mean a win and this has been seen to cost many coaches their jobs. But a lot of clubs should see themselves as ‘development’ clubs, meaning to improve their players to sell on. 

It’s clear that playing out effectively it is an approach which makes players worth more and reach the top level. At a recent presentation we saw a video of David Luiz and we discussed if his style was good, bad, dangerous or positive. Luiz divides opinion more than most because of the way he plays and the almost anti-thesis to what English culture regards as a central defender. But he’s a world class centre half who has accumulated over £100m in transfer fees in his career. Some just couldn’t believe what he does in games, seemingly thinking that driving out, playing 1-2’s and being a positive attacking option as well as a defender is simply not allowed in the game when you’re a central defender. It was seem as foolish, unnecessary and pointless by some in the room. I was left disappointed by what I heard and yet not surprised. A player like Luiz scares coaches rather than inspires them. His talent could be a huge benefit to teams to improve their ability to build out, to help dominate the play. But for some he is just a risk not worth having in your team. I personally think Luiz is an amazing player who offers his team a lot of positives. I just wish more coaches sought to allow their players to play like Luiz, at both youth and senior level. Perhaps we would have more defenders worth £100m+. 

Ultimately it’s our culture, this safety first, functional British approach which has served the nation so well across times of war yet which doesn’t wish to see people excel above the levels of mediocre. We seek to put down our high achievers, belittle them or ridicule them. We don’t seek to push for ‘greatness’ but are content with ‘average’. 

“Pep Guardiola is doing what we hoped he would and could, show that his style can work in the Premier League. And it’s not just working, it’s dominating.”

I mean it’s not even close right now. And he is improving his players, taking ‘good to great’. Not limiting but enhancing. Improving their intelligence and understanding of the game. The hope is that more coaches see the value in what he as a coach is providing and learn from that. My fear is that many will be ignorant to what he is doing and make the case that is about having the best players. Justifying their own decision to accept mediocrity because that’s the reality of where they are and who they work with.