#nikkat tag

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Re: that last post, as we've been writing out more of [UNTITLED SLAYERVERSE PROJECT] I've been thinking a lot about the Vibes and what fantasies the story fulfills. What started out as a straight up erotic horror story has taken a decidedly gothic romantic turn (not mad about it) and it's been really interesting looking at it through pieces of media that have influenced us. There's another great post that I reblogged at one point about Labyrinth and the fantasies that that fulfills, and the role of a handsome but scary older male love interest in a coming of age setting. I've been thinking about it a lot also now having seen The Company of Wolves, which is the movie that prompted our current Madness.

Nikolae for me fulfills multiple roles, and it's very much both the Fantasy Lover and the embodiment of my fears about myself. He's a very intense and scary person who has very little self control and loves to hurt others, but he's learning control because he needs Katya so intensely that he'll do the thing that he was never willing to do for anyone else in his centuries of life just to have her. He's also the fantasy of the lover that knows what she needs, even when she doesn't. It's a rape fantasy, but as with a lot of rape fantasies it's about the plausible deniability when it comes to being forced to do things that are so filthy that it's impossible for you to articulate that you desperately want them without that burn of embarrassment consuming your soul. It's the fantasy of the lover that knows you better than you know yourself, and being set free by that corruption, that torment.

And Katya is the fantasy lover as well. She's unrelenting and cruel in many of the same ways, but in a different tone. She's clean and precise and is perfectly capable of being in charge. She is monstrous in a way that isn't gleeful like Nikolae, but is almost... (don't kill me, Cal) pragmatic. She knows what Nikolae needs, even if it's impossible for him to admit. The way that she gives him what he needs is through incredibly cruel and degrading physical and emotional violence, a complete unmaking of who he is. He's meant to be the one in control, the one who is the Lord, the Protector, the Keeper of his family's legacy -- things that he doesn't want, but was forced into. By unmaking him both physically and emotionally, he can be made into something free of those binding responsibilities.

The fantasy is freedom from repression, from gender roles, from their stations in life. As each other's fantasy lovers, they are both objects of envy and desire. They need to crawl into each other's skin and move them from the inside, both to possess and to become.

Anyway. The moral of [UNTITLED SLAYERVERSE PROJECT] is [LOUD STATIC NOISE]

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look at this ⬇️⬇️⬇️

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Assorted NikKat doodles and WIPs from the last 6-7ish months

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NikKat doodle to unwind

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May I humbly ask who Nikolae and Katya are? (I assume they're your ocs??)

I've seen you tag half the stuff you've rbed from me with them and they sound p interesting ngl 👀

AHHHH omg of course! So sorry, they're all I think about these days so I'm sure most of my blog at this point is tagged with them haha! Nikolae is my OC, and Katya is my friend @angeyrot's OC! We are writing a long rp with them right now that we're going to turn into a more readable book series when we're done. We've written something like 300k words in the last 3 months alone, so there will be plenty to work with when the time comes to make it available for public consumption.

Nikolae is a very old, very violent and fucked up vampire that lives in a cursed living castle that is slowly dying. He's a very unpleasant, miserable person that I often describe as more animalistic than human, kind of like a maneating tiger that eats people that wander into his territory.

Katya is a vampire slayer that tracks Nikolae down with the intent of slaying him as revenge for the fact that he killed her mother. She's a very clever and cunning girl, but is not very wise. She's also extremely brutal and good at killing, like him.

Katya ends up being imprisoned by Nikolae in his castle, and their relationship develops from there. It's very Beauty and the Beast in a lot of ways, but like.... if they were both deeply traumatized and kind of horrible. She goes from actively trying to kill him to trying to learn more about him in order to hurt him very badly before killing him, and they end up sexually and romantically entangled. In the story we deal with a lot of themes of queerness and shame, and cycles of abuse and trauma.

Here's a post of angeyrot and I talking about the Themes and Vibes.

These two OC asks here and here have a little more info about Nikolae.

Tags: #katya tag/#yekaterina muzafarova, #nikolae tag/#nikolae horvatinčić, #nikkat tag, #slayerverse

Some more recent drawings of them:

Aaaaaaaand for posterity, a couple of old doodles with their old designs before Nikolae became bigger and more unkempt <3

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Nikolae and Katya are being sooooooo fucking cute in the story rn it's actually fucking unspeakable.

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Nothing to see here.... 🫣

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Middle aged man that is a babygirl and young woman that is a Daddy.

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Discussed a new plotpoint in [UNTITLED SLAYERVERSE PROJECT] today that's making me rattle the bars of my cage tbh

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censored bj art under the cut

this post has been ruling my brain all day

uncensored

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What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Love and affection. Nikolae is very physically affectionate and can behave quite romantically, but for most of his life it's been an act that he intentionally puts on to torment his victims. He has been told since childhood that he's cruel and evil and doesn't have a soul, that he's not capable of love (just like his father.) It is very surprising to him when he starts Feeling Things about Katya, and it takes him quite some time to realize that he's not just a little overly attached to a new toy, but that he is truly feeling something very deep and intense that is causing him to recognize the personhood of a human being. He's working very hard to change his behavior to make Katya more comfortable, but unfortunately he is... starting from such a horrible place that even him being """nice""" is often pretty fucking bad still, and his concept of consent is completely fucked.

He also is not good at receiving affection. It's the one thing he wants above all else -- to be loved and desired more than he's feared, but he is not good at keeping himself from behaving like a complete monster, and receiving genuine affection is so alien to him that he tends to kind of just shut down when he receives it. (He also has sexual trauma and so there are some forms of touch that will cause him to spiral.) Part of what he really loves about Katya is that she does deeply, genuinely hate him -- and that makes affection from her so much sweeter, because she wouldn't give him that if she did not want him in some way. It feels much more earnest because of how deeply she loathes him.

There's also the complicating factor that he isn't good at differentiating between different kinds of love, so what he feels for Katya ends up being very pseudoincestuous because it's a swirl of romantic and familial love. He is just as likely to inwardly describe her as being like his sister or his daughter or his wife.

At the point in the story that we've gotten to writing, he's at the point where he's realized there's Something Deeper going on with Katya, but he's still hesitant to identify it as love. He's getting there though, I'm sure it's going to happen soon. 💜 Once he does realize, he becomes fully devoted and codependent and even more intensely obsessive than he already is.

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Sickening!

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Misogyny is hot when it is done by Katya directed at Nikolae. In this essay,

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We watched Stoker last night which reminded me that I had recommended it to Cal for Vibes when we were first developing what would become Slayerverse back in like 2021, at which point both of us promptly forgot about a lot of the shit in it. Watching it again now that we've written over 300k of Slayerverse (again, most of that in the last three months) really highlights howwwwwww much of that we internalized lol

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Thinking about Nikolae and Katya. She's always trying to kill him. He's frequently pissed off at her because she's mean. She's extra mean to him because he's constantly sexually harassing her. He's sexually harassing her because he's in love with her and knows she's into him too. He's in love with her because she wants to kill him so fucking bad. They can have a normal conversation when talking about fruit and demonology, and they'll stop arguing if they can watch a couple of other people fight to the death. This makes them horny. They live together in a cursed house. She's his prisoner, and also his ward. In fights with other people, she'll side with him because no one else is allowed to kill him. They've been on several cute dates.

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@angeyrot and I have descended into madness yet again...

Making a little AU where Nikolae adopts Katya and raises her while doing crimes on their fucked up steampunk train. Yes, they kiss when she grows up. 🥰