#nilpoints

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #35

35. ALBANIA Besa - "Titan" 34th place

Decade ranking: 138/153 [Above Vasil, below Mia & Dion]

Besa, darling, this is some GARBAGE.

There you go. My instinctive pavlovian response every time I think about "TiTAN" (*sigh*) since its revamp. End of write-up, the rest is just filling in the dead space. Each time Albania announces a revamp that goes English, the NQ energy comes out.

Sometimes, it's a bit unfair to immediately dismiss a English FiK revamp. Not all of them were without merit, and most still offerend something of value because they were based off good songs.

"Zemrën n'dorë" for ex; was perfectly fine even if the fandom held it in contempt for being "generically Albanian". It was still fun? Besides, "generically Albanian" is like what - Karma or Duje? There are worse places to be, surely. Both still made the final, and were enjoyable in their own right.

If anything, I got a small chuckle out of both of Besa's FiK performances because they underlined Besa's penchant for extra outfits - In the first performance Besa strutted around in badly designed fantasy armour <3

"Every tear's gonna ricochet indeed."

which she then followed up with this Statue of Liberty waifu cosplay

Working her two best assets <3

Sadly, I don't think "Titan" can be ranked amongst the okay revamps of 2011, 2014, 2017 and 2022. It was a fall from the shajte. She took an average song with interesting elements and got rid of the interesting elements, which she then replaced with one of the WORST drop breaks I've ever heard in any song, ESC or not.

The second any of us heard "Titan" in full we knew it was dedge with near certainty, and that was precisely what happened. There were no miraculous turnarounds as with Bambie or surprise outsells as with Aiko and Megara. "Titan" remained uninspired and dull. Even when she was performing it in the semi all I could think about was how hopeless it was. None of the outfits Besa wore in Malmö were particularly inspired and the act was hopelessly stuck in 2017. It's been seven years since Artsvik. Time to move on from the "Hand Choreo into Wideshots" acts, mayhaps.

So, Besa was unremarkable fodder, what's the worry? Why this low a placement? Shouldn't she be ranked amongst the Vladanas and the Ukus?

Well, semi 2 happened to be quite good and even though "Titan" was without question the biggest dud within its line-up, but thanks to its drop and awful act it still managed to stand out as SHIT to me. Which might be worse than not standing out at all. It's one of the two for each one of us, so decide for yourself which one is worse. The fact that "Titan" can easily be forgotten about is its only saving grace, which is the true halllmark of its badness. Once you do pay it even a smidge of scrutiny (which requires considerably more concentration than I'm willing to throw at it), out come the exclamations of "THIS IS NOT IT, BESA."

So in the end, the results spoke for themselves. Besa should have been last place in Semi 2 and that would have been the verdict if she hadn't been the biggest name Albania had sent in years. Even with HER RECOGNITION AMONGST ALBANIANS, she still came second last, with 14 points, the same amount as Victor Vernikos last year, with only a smatting of points from the expat countries, a single point ahead of last place. it was as close a result to nilpoints that Albania could have realistically mustered under the current system, and I can't say it wasn't deserved.

BESA KOKËDHIMA, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO RETIRE!!!

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THE OLD FiK SYSTEM HAD STILL BEEN IN PLACE AND THE FIK WINNER HAD GONE INSTEAD?!

This Donkey Kong/Gaston hybrid <3 All he had was arms, a song and a dream. 😭 and I do mean that literally because the one thing Mal didn't have was performance talent. Throwing partitures around ♥ flexing ALL the time ♥ the adlibs, the shrieking, the "fucking hell" ♥ All while sounding like someone throttling a turkey ♥ How did this win a JURY VOTE ♥ Mal would have NQ'd too but it would have been FUNNY and ICONIQUE and MEMORABLE, all traits "Titan" did not have. 😭

HOORAY, we've already made it out of the ~Dislikes~. Yep, only *three* reds/oranges this year. Told you this year's entries were good. Time to rank some bores, mediocrities and mixed bags for the next few days, I guess.

THE RANKING

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[mexican-wrestler]

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[generaldeliciousness]

No longer on #nilpoints alleluia

[wheelsonfire]

is this a celebration of all of Norway’s nil points?

[rcassie]

Azerbaijan,the first stab in the back for the night

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