#no matter how many shitty anons i will get i will continue to share information idc

[hey-august]

Working on the big top for years, working with buggy for so long you trust each other more than anyone, being each other’s confidant and best friend but NEVER crossing the line to anything else because! That’s still your boss! And your friend!

You could neverrrrrr imagine anything happening between the two of you especially not late at night, cleaning up after a show after the crew has gone to bed, sitting down to take a break and putting ur head in his lap, looking up at the stars and catching buggy staring at you? Oh my god that’s crazy nooooo you absolutely would neverrrrrr reach up and pull him down to kiss you omg

Ugh. ugh. ugh. ugh. I LOVE this anon. I love this and things got out of hand. It deviates sliiiightly from what you wrote because I kept forgetting about the stars. I hope it's still enjoyable!!

WC: 908 Warnings: SFW, buggy x GN!reader, lil bit of longing, mention of drinking, barely proofread

It’s purely platonic. A friendly connection. Captain and crewmate. Drinking buddies. Shoulders to cry on. Secret keepers. Partners in crime. Friends, and nothing more.

Becoming close happened so naturally that no one questioned it. Life carried on, as it does, and eventually you and Buggy were joined at the hip. While you worked on the crew and he was the captain, the dynamic didn’t carry into the friendship. 

No one worried that you were an informant for their boss. You knew when to keep your mouth shut, when to pass along “rumors,” and you still joined in on the shit talk. It was all part of the bonding and you were thankful that your connection to the captain didn’t ruin it. If anything, it boosted morale. Your closeness with the captain made them feel closer to him as well. If you could survive slapping him on the back with laughter, so could they. 

The other tokens of friendly affection, however, they left to you. Grabbing Buggy by the arm and dragging him to see something. Teasing him whenever he got irrationally ticked off. Shoving him playfully after a prank. Pushing the hair from his face when his hands are busy. Offering calming words and a quiet walk when his emotions were too extreme.

Buggy reciprocated in kind. Only letting you polish off his personal flask. Fixing your clothes when you misaligned the buttons or left a tag out. Swapping plates and drinks mid-meal. Calling you out on your shit when you were being rude or pissy. Offering you his room as a quiet place to calm down when you needed a minute.

You two were buds. Peas in a pod. Birds of a feather. And nothing more. That’s just how it was. How it was supposed to stay. It was luck that the friendship worked out well and didn’t jeopardize the crew. You couldn’t risk throwing that off-balance.

No matter how much your heart ached when you shared drinks that touched both of your lips. No matter how much you liked when he squeezed you with one arm while laughing raucously at a shitty joke you told. No matter how long you wanted to stay in his room, hoping that he would come in to join you. No matter how many times you held his hand in the dark, while you both walked the deck among the stars.

You were friends.

You used to be friends until that one night. Another successful raid, another successful show, another successful party. The crew worked hard and they were exhausted. Knowing you could convince the captain to finish cleaning in the morning if you two were alone, you helped the rest of the crew sneak away slowly.

“Looks like it’s just us again, Bugs.” The captain hadn’t noticed the dwindling numbers and needed you to point it out.

“What? What?! Where did those freaks go?” Buggy spun around, as if he expected you to be lying. Maybe his crew was hiding among the seats, waiting to pop out.

“It’s been a long day, captain. We’ve done a lot…why don’t we sit down for a moment.” 

That was the first step. Get Buggy to relax. Once his guard was down, it would be easier to convince him to call it a night.

Instead of listening, the pirate continued to grumble. Slipped in between complaints about abandonment were short praises and compliments about how well his crew performed and what a great captain they had to bring them such glory. Rather than interrupting his monologue, you sat on the wood ground to listen and wait for him to follow your lead.

Buggy’s mouth ran on as he joined you on the floor cross-legged and patted his lap. You reclined and rested your head on his leg, settling in to be a good friend.

It was no secret that Buggy talked a lot. You were a good listener. You had to be, as his best friend. Sometimes he just wanted to talk. He didn’t need to be heard, but you always paid attention. The pirate’s voice was soothing. Whether it was shrill when he was shrieking, grating because he was shouting, low because he was angry, or bubbly with excitement, you wanted to drift away in the sound. Closing your eyes, you let yourself fall deeper.

As he carried through topic after topic, his voice grew softer. Calmer. You could easily imagine Buggy’s expressive yet content face. While it was imprinted in memory, the real vision was one that always took your breath away. Opening your eyes to get your fill, you were faced with the gentle expression aimed towards you. 

With air stuck in your chest, your mouth was empty. Lonely.

Reaching up, you put a hand on the back of Buggy’s head and pulled your friend closer. And closer. And closer. Until your lips touched. Until you could breathe again, filling yourself with him. His mouth was soft. Warm. Inviting. Your tongue accepted the invitation and joined his for a dance that started cautiously before turning into something fervent and confident. 

You held him close until your breath stopped again, stilled by emotions that grew too big and too fast to keep contained. Loosening your hold on his head, Buggy took the cue. He pulled away, also out of breath.

You two stared at each other in silence.

“It was about time,” he finally said before leaning in to kiss you again.

[freddieofhearts]

Bye bye, dears (for now!)

I know there have been a lot of rumours and some posts about me leaving, so here I am to set the record straight and say a quick ‘au revoir’. This post is long, and I don’t expect everyone to read the whole thing—if you just want information on how to keep in touch, or about access to my removed fics, scroll to the bottom. ⬇️

*

Why are you leaving?

Firstly, of course I’m not leaving Freddie. This is just an ongoing hiatus from the social side of fandom, because while I have some incredible friends here, who have done all they can to support me and have made this experience wonderful in lots of ways—it’s also true that the social space has become more and more toxic for me.

I get a wild amount of hate. Despite never having my ask box enabled on here, people create new accounts just to message me and tell me all the problems in this fandom are my fault, that I’m faking being sick, that I should kill myself, that I’m fat, etc. I also very regularly get hateful comments on AO3.

Obviously I realise that I’m not the only one who receives these cruel attacks, but it’s become increasingly hard to handle them—especially as some people (‘real’ accounts, not faceless anons) do continue to blame me for wider problems in the fandom. It makes me feel consistently sad, anxious, and paranoid, so that I can’t focus on anything Queen-related that I enjoy.

More pressingly, it’s affected my mental health, which is—imperfect at the best of times. As I’ve occasionally alluded to in older posts on this blog, I have a history of anorexia, OCD, PTSD, and some other overlapping issues. Most people who know me in the fandom are also aware that I’m ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’ to Covid-19, significantly immunocompromised, and have been isolating at home for eleven months.

The combination of all of these things + the constant toxic messages has really been triggering me, and leading to an uptick in disordered behaviours, which my body cannot sustain. Every new instance of hate from an anon—every time there’s another indication of groups in the fandom wanting to ostracise me further—my reaction is deeply self-punitive and unhealthy. Ultimately I need to be out of this environment for, at least, a protracted period. My therapist, my partner and my close friends in the fandom support this decision.

*

So, what went wrong?

In 2019, I expected to be an absolutely tiny blog in the Queen Tumblr landscape. The fandom was already well-established, and I have never worked to ‘build a following’ on here—I think I’ve linked my own fic a maximum of three or four times!—in fact, more or less the opposite. As I mentioned above: ya girl is nutty as a fruitcake. As a result, I often avoid extremely niche things in daily life which cause severe anxiety for me, Relevant examples here: I never look at my timeline. I never intentionally look at my follower number. Yup, it’s strange, I fully admit it, but it’s best for me to go with these things—usually. In Queen fandom, however, this avoidance both of analytic stats and of most direct engagement led to some problems... My followers grew without me realising, and way more people were reading my blog than I was aware of. I was still in a—“Wow, this fandom is very frustrating, and rife with ableism, racism, etc., so how do we fix this???”—mindset, and I wanted to share my opinions, sure! but I also thought I was sharing them with 15-20 like-minded people.

Now, intent is not impact, and I recognise that I was brusque, didn’t phrase things particularly sensitively, and absolutely did hurt some people by criticising the fandom so freely. I still regret this—and I regret just as much the fact that some assholes have used my criticising the fandom on my own blog as implicit justification for attacking authors. I have said on here many times that I don’t condone that behaviour—but I also think there’s some truth in the presumption that these anonymous malcontents felt my critiques somehow ‘permitted’ them to engage in abuse. For the first few months, though, I genuinely had no idea there was a link at all—and so I was initially slow to condemn this abusive behaviour in public, because I was taking it for granted all authors agreed it was shitty. It took someone directly telling me (shoutout to @a-froger-epic) that people had identified a connection between my posts and the anons, before everything fell into place.

I would like to offer my apologies to the fandom at large for not being more quick on the uptake about this, because I feel that had I realised sooner that these people were taking ‘inspiration’ in some way from me, it might have been easier to put a stop to it. It does seem that there is still a lot of confusion about whether I support them and which of their views I agree with. Let’s be 100% clear on this: I do not support the anonymous commenters on AO3. At times there is some, limited overlap between parts of their views and parts of mine, but even that is less than you may think—I often see anonymous comments from so-called ‘Freddie fans’ that I substantially disagree with.

Perhaps even more importantly: I do not support anyone who sends anonymous hate on Tumblr.

*

What’s all this about ‘overlap’ with the anons?

Let’s do a mini-summary of the myths vs. the truth. There are views I hold which are genuinely unpopular in the fandom—but which I own up to completely, and have never tried to hide in any way. I’ve never needed to use anonymous to share my opinions because I’m completely open about them! What people who don’t know me tend to have ‘heard’ about me, though, is usually a drastic distortion of my real opinions.

What people think I think:

- Freddie should never top.

- It’s okay to send anon hate if someone writes Freddie ‘wrong’.

- It’s more important to correct ‘wrong’ portrayals than to respect other writers.

- It’s inherently wrong to be more interested in band pairings than canon pairings.

- Freddie should be overtly written as a r*pe survivor/victim (and not doing this is wrong).

- Freddie should be overtly written as having an eating disorder (and not doing this is wrong).

- Kink fics are wrong.

What I actually think:

- I believe Freddie did have a strongly defined sexual identity with marked preferences, but I don’t think Jim Hutton lied when he said that Freddie topped. I believe Freddie did top, but this isn’t the time or place to get into my thoughts on why/when/how much. I do believe that my analysis of the sources relevant to this subject is as historically accurate as one can reasonably be in matters of sex (where historical accuracy will always be particularly limited and imperfect)—but I don’t think it’s morally wrong to write Freddie as topping more than he probably did.

- I don’t believe there’s only one ‘right’ version of Freddie (all others being ‘wrong’). I do believe it is possible to be more right or less right—but I’m also conscious of the fact that this scale of value is not one by which everyone measures fanfiction. As a result, then, I don’t think that any perceptions surrounding ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ justify sending anonymous, non-constructive criticism, or outright hate.

- I do believe constructive criticism is a good thing. I welcome and appreciate it myself; I have received it on my fics in Queen fandom, and it has made them better. I have been in writing workshops which included very forceful criticisms, and the value of such feedback has been intimately and immediately part of my life as a writer for years. However: in this case, I have accepted that my opinion differs from the general community preference, and so I no longer offer any constructive criticism (outside private beta-reading). I haven’t changed my view, but I’ve changed my practice to align with community norms.

- I do not think any single, individual writer has a personal responsibility to write about Freddie Mercury in any given way. That ranges from including the more distressing topics to which I’ve devoted attention (such as trauma)—to concentrating on ‘canon’ pairings like Jimercury—to, even, focusing on Freddie at all.

“Now, that doesn’t sound like you, @freddieofhearts,” you might be thinking. And I know it doesn’t; I think something I’ve done a poor job of articulating is the difference between how I view each individual fan—namely, as free to shape their creative experience at will, even in ways that I might find distressing or offensive; even in ways that you might find distressing or offensive—and the way I view the Collective. I think people have interpreted some of my critiques of ‘Queen Fandom’ as meaning something like: “You-in-particular, a specific Queen fan, are doing it wrong and should change everything about how you do it; also you don’t really care about Freddie.”

And—that’s not it. What any given fan, as an individual, does, isn’t a problem. And that can be true alongside—concurrently with—a multivalent critique of how the fandom is lacking in representation of Freddie’s life, with all that that (wonderful, deservedly celebrated, but also profoundly traumatic) life entailed. I still hold that view; I still have myriad problems with ‘the fandom’ (structurally, collectively, historically and presently—from the 1990s to the 2020s). Some of what I want to work on (away from the social life of fandom) is expressing those critiques with greater nuance, in ways that can’t be misinterpreted as shading any particular fanfiction author or subgenre of story.

In brief: I haven’t changed my mind, but I think Tumblr is an untenable environment in which to discuss the things I want to analyse, especially as there is an ever-present danger of hurting someone.

*

Can we keep in touch? Where is the fic?

I will drop by this account periodically to check out posts that friends have sent me, so you can always sent me a private message to ask for my contact details on the other app that I’m using now for fandom friends. Multiple Freddie conversations and projects are going on over there, off-Tumblr, with a much ‘gentler’ environment and no bad actors—I personally love it!

All my fic has been downloaded and saved. I don’t want to deal with constant harassment on AO3, but I’m happy to share a copy with anyone who missed it and wants to read/re-read something. I also saved everyone’s lovely comments and thoughtful con-crit, so none of that has been lost or erased.

Thank you to everyone who welcomed me to the fandom, made me think, taught me, shared with me, sent me into fits of the giggles, collaborated with me creatively, and otherwise made this one hell of a ride! Love you all. ❤️

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Hello 👋🏼, sorry if I’m bothering u but ever since the recent chapters of BNHA I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the Todoroki family. Not many of my friends are into this anime and I just couldn’t stop myself from sharing this with you because I need to let this out.

[SPOILER ALERT 🚨!!! IF U DONT READ THE MANGA THEN U CAN JUST IGNORE THIS]

First of all:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

(I’m still screaming as I write because the backstories RUINED me.)

Poor Touya having this horrible obsession over heroics and having his father acknowledge him but ever since his quirk started reacting against his body the whole family got negatively affected by it.

Rei and Enji wanted to stop at two kids but with Touya’s sudden disadvantage and the latter’s craving for power, Natsuo and later on Shouto was born (the youngest getting titled as the perfect heir from the moment he was born). I got torn seeing Touya’s eyes succumb to absolute madness at the birth of his younger brothers.

What scared me the most was how when it was just Touya and Fuyumi, the two hardly interacted despite being only a year apart in age. Touya claimed that ‘girls just don’t get it’ this small foreshadowing was later brought to light in the most recent chapter where he once again rejects Fuyumi’s company in favour of ranting to only Natsuo and where he disregards his own mother— another ‘girl’ that doesn’t understand his obsession passion for surpassing All Might and someone who plays along to the acts of those stronger than them. Touya saw his mother as a weak person who had no choice but to marry for the sake of her family and have custom children. Little Touya firmly believed his very existence depended on getting acknowledged my his father and defeating All Might but it sadly didn’t come true😭😭

Also..... LOOK AT THE BABIES!!!! They’re all so CUTE!!!

Chubby Fuyumi!!!

Natsuo with a running nose

And Baby Shouto with a meme like face since the day he was born🤣🤣🤣🤣

So ADORABLE!

And another thing. FUYUMI WAS EVEN YOUNGER THAN I THOUGHT TO HAVE STARTED ACTING LIKE A SECOND MOTHER TO HER BROTHERS!! Look at the way she defended Natsuo when Touya went on a rampage and tried to attack Touya! And during moments when Enji and Rei fought the two most notable heroes were Shouto and Fuyumi; the former fighting on the frontlines to face his father while the latter stood behind to once again care for her remaining family that though weren’t involved in the fight, they still needed emotional support to get through it.😭

I AM SO SORRY TO BE GETTING TO THIS SO LATE ANON BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

TW: Spoilers, Brief Mention of Child Abuse (Physical, Emotional and Mental), General Fandom Wank

So, like, SO MUCH HAPPENED in those chapters and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ALMOST ALL OF IT! There’s obviously all the things you mentioned above that were just amazing to see and learn! I know that a majority of the fandom has been absolutely livid about the reveals involving Touya being drastically different than what fandom thought they were all this time, but I think it honestly highlights how smart Horikoshi’s writing really is.

In Shoto, we see the effects of physical and mental abuse on a child, and how easily he could have ended up going down a troubling road much like Touya. Shoto’s saving grace is facing off against Deku in the Sports Festival, giving him an outside perspective and makes him realize that he can choose to be better, but that doesn’t just magically fix all of Shoto’s problems. Shoto still struggles with his feelings towards his Father and how he is perceived by simply being Endeavor’s son. We see that in the Provisional License Arc, where Shoto is so thoroughly rattled by Inasa. It’s even further pushed through how Shoto struggles with his feelings about Endeavor trying to better and whether or not he should forgive him. I feel like Shoto’s arc is incredibly strong and that his struggles are very realistic, which is why people love him so much. This whole concept is another thing I could rant about but I’m going to leave it here.

Meanwhile, with Touya, we see the effects of mental and emotional abuse on a child and how it can completely destroy them. I think people that act like Horokoshi “down played” and “ret-conned” Endeavor as a character to make him more sympathetic/ redeemable or that he’s simply writing Touya as “always being a bad seed” are missing the mark. This is, admittedly, something you see a lot when it comes to victims of abuse in the real world as well; the idea that if you weren’t physically or sexually abused on top of emotional or mental abuse, your abuse is somehow less “valid.” Now I’ve seen more voices speaking out against this mentality - which is relieving and positive - but it’s still a problem. The way Touya was abused is no less valid or scarring to himself as a person as what Shoto has been through was. Touya and Enji clearly had a deep bond as father and son. Hell, the fact that Enji is sobbing and saying he “can’t fight his own son” in regards to Touya, but clearly had less issue training Shoto until he got ill or passed out says a lot.

Touya was put on an incredibly high pedestal by Enji’s constant praise and attention. He was the apple of his father’s eye until the limitations of his Quirk were discovered. Enji had filled his head with promises and goals for what his future would be, essentially selling him what turned out to be a lie. We see Rei herself tell Enji that Touya “knows you expect something out of the kids.” Touya’s whole life up until that point was being told of all the great he would someday accomplish, and equating that to being deserving of his Father’s love, attention and affection.

And then he couldn’t live up to that expectation. And then his parents had two more kids following that revelation. The idea that Touya doesn’t realize that Natsuo and Shoto were meant to be his replacements - unbroken models that “deserved” Enji’s love - is clearly not missed by him. It’s evident in the way he looks at Natsuo after he’s born. He sees this as a sign that he is no longer deserving - no longer worthy - of love or support from the parent he absolutely adores.

We see this mostly from Enji and Rei’s perspectives, so we know the reasons they did it, but it’s clear they didn’t stop to think about the way this would be interpreted by Touya himself. This whole matter is only worsened by the fact that Enji refuses to make sacrifices for the sake of his oldest son. He pushes Touya to live a life outside of Pro Heroics while Enji himself refuses to do the same, thus setting a positive example and showing solidarity with his son. He instead pushes him away and distances himself, loses himself in focusing on Natuso and, once his Quirk turns out to not be what he wants, Shoto. Touya continues to push himself despite his limits in a desperate bid for Enji to look at him the way he used to; with pride and love. 

What caused the fire that “killed” Touya? His anguish over being neglected and abandoned - left unloved - by his father yet again. It’s clear that Touya’s mental health is in need of some real focus that he has never gotten - due to both his parents negligence as well as the fact that mental health is highly stigmatized in Japanese society - and pairing that with the emotional and mental abuse he suffered at Enji’s hands broke him.

So many people are claiming Horikoshi is trying to make Enji “more redeemable”, but how do you get that? Enji abused Rei, his own wife, physically and emotionally and mentally until she had a psychotic breakdown, hurt their youngest child, and then robbed her the right to mother her children further by having her locked up in a psych ward for the next decade or so; built their oldest son, Touya, up only to then emotionally and mentally abuse him to the point he damn near killed himself in a frantic bid to garner Enji’s support only to return years later completely unhinged and looking to murder his entire family out of spite; neglected Fuyumi and Natsuo to the care of each other and hired help; alienated Shoto, his youngest son, from his siblings for his entire formative years, physically and mentally and emotionally abused him, groomed him to accomplish a task he never wanted, put him through such extensive physical training that Shoto would get sick or pass out.

Enji was a shitty father. He has a long ass road to continue walking if he ever wants redemption. The fact he didn't physically hit Touya doesn’t mean that Enji didn’t abuse his son and it doesn’t make Touya any less of a victim.

* End TodoFam Rant*

On a slightly lighter note, I also like all the information with Hawks’ past and all the parallels we’re seeing develop!

I’ve rambled briefly about this in other places the Huwumi discord but I want to expound upon this a bit more here.

I feel like Touya/ Dabi and Keigo/ Hawks are meant to be parallels to one another.

Back to back, we had proper name claims by these two characters. We had Dabi reveal his true identity as Todoroki Touya and then we have Hawks choosing to abandon his hero name to instead step up to fight as Takami Keigo.

I feel like “Dabi” was always a mask, of sorts. Dabi is typically pretty calm, cool, composed with the occasional bites of snark and cruelty. Meanwhile, we see Touya emoting and moving in a manner more akin to himself as a child, dancing about in manic delight over revealing his true identity and intentions. The pair of them are two drastically different people when you stop and look at it. “Dabi” was the mask he wore to gain ground to enact his revenge, and now that he is there? Now Touya can burn everything tethered to it down to ground.

Meanwhile, we have "Hawks” as he was forced to become as per the Hero Public Safety Commission. We had it revealed quite a while back that Hawks was a man of many faces, jumping from laid-back and chill to serious and focused quite frequently. “Hawks” is the presentation for the public and the Commission, groomed to be the perfect little canary in the mine that was Pro Heroics. The reveal of his true heritage, however, is not the killing blow Touya wanted it to be. Instead, it allows Keigo, the one who wanted to be a Hero to help people, the chance to truly dedicate himself to that. In being freed from the cage of “Hawks”, he is given the change to really soar as Keigo.

Now, I feel that “Dabi” and “Hawks” are most certainly parts of Touya and Keigo as well, respectively. Even though those titles were masks, they were masks made from parts of the men who wear them. I think what we’ll see going forward is the true elements of those masks bleeding back into the whole, and seeing the truest forms of each character.

For better or for worse. 

[isthisthingeven0n]

if the world was ending : d.d

brief summary: based on the beautifully poetic song ‘if the world was ending’ 

word count: 1.6k requested: yes by a sweet ass anon who must know me as this is in my top 10 currently  warnings: bit angsty, but fluffy ending

* masterlistin’ / masterlistin’ 2.0

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it isn’t me. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)

Sniffing, you walk up the stairs as you hug yourself in an attempt to stop shivering so severely.

Your day couldn’t possibly get worse, nothing else could go wrong for you. The past few months have been hell, and you weren’t sure how much more you could handle. All you wanted was to curl up and forget everything for a few hours. You must at least be allowed that, right? 

Sadly, the universe has different intentions. 

As you approach your front door, you notice something stuck to it with big red letters. 

“No.” You mutter under your breath, feeling your lower lip quivering as you tear the notice and shove it into your pocket before unlocking the front door.

The sound of your shoes squelching follows you through the cramped apartment as puddles lace your floor. You quickly undress, discarding your clothes behind you as you wander into the bathroom, wanting nothing more than a hot shower to disguise your tears.

Turning the shower on, you glance at your reflection. You’ve not been the same since the breakup, but with the events that have trickled since, that feels irrelevant to your current state.  

As you emerge with damp hair, you collapse down on your sofa with a heavy sigh. “Don’t cry.” You mutter to yourself as you wipe your eyes repeatedly, trying to stop yourself from what seems to be the inevitable of late. “Fuck.” You cry, hiding your face into your palms until you take a deep breath, forcing yourself out of it before you fall too deep once again. 

You look over to the pile of notices and letters you’ve been avoiding. It hurt to see so many people tearing you down, quite literally at this point. But on top, your phone starts to glow.

With a heavy heart, you walk over and take your phone. A small smile laces your lips as you see who it is calling.

“Hey, C.” You try to remain upbeat by plastering a smile on your face, hoping your tone portrays the same emotion.

On the other end of the line, Corinna sits on a beanbag whilst David edits with Natalie. He’s curled up, still in the hoodie you gifted him months ago despite everything that happened.

“Hey, is everything okay?” She asks quietly, not wanting to draw attention as David keeps his eyes fixated on his laptop, but his ears on Corinna.

You shake your head in response, covering your mouth to stifle a sob. “No,” Your voice cracks and Corinna sighs sadly.

“Oh, baby.” She whispers. “What happened? Is he doing any better?”

“He, he’s in ICU.” You manage to force the words to leave your lips. “And they’re not sure if he’ll be okay.” You can’t bring yourself to think of the worse or mention anything else.

“Do you want me to come over, I’ll come over right now I’m not up to much.” She explains and David huffs loudly.

“Gee, thanks, Corinna!” David yells and you freeze on the phone, the mere sound of his voice that you’ve not heard in months.

“I’ll be okay. I’ll talk to you soon.” You mutter to her before hanging up, feeling your heart beating in your throat before you lie down, curling up with a cushion to your chest as you silently sob, wishing your nightmare would soon end.

Corinna groans as she locks her phone before glaring at David. “What the fuck, Dave?” Corinna calls out, catching both David and Natalie off guard.

“Woah, he was joking, Corinna.” Natalie speaks up whilst David remains slightly dumbfounded at Corinna’s change in attitude. “You alright?” 

Running her fingers through her hair, Corinna shuts her eyes as she contemplates her options. 

“I’m fine.” She answers, still not wanting to meet David’s eyes who hover over her. “Just, you’re so inconsiderate like that was a serious fucking phone call.” Corinna can’t stop herself, she knows she should stop, but all she can think about is you at your shitty apartment alone. 

“Okay, I’m sorry.” David smiles softly, tugging the sleeves on his hoodie. “Who was it anyway?” 

“Y/n.” Corinna bluntly states, looking right at David who tenses up at the mention of your name.

“Is she alright?” He questions instantly, something he’ll always wonder no matter how far apart you might be. 

“No, no she’s not.” Corinna sighs as she rises to her feet, keeping her phone close. “Look, she’s never been worse and I’m only telling you because I think she needs you, David.” 

Natalie glances over to her best friend, seeing the sadness radiating in his eyes as he listens to Corinna. 

David tries to fight back tears as he listens to what Corinna is saying. 

“And after the crash, her Dad went downhill super fast.” Corinna can remember the panicked phone call she received in the early hours of the morning followed by a rushed explanation and request to keep it a secret. “He, he’s in the ICU.” 

“No,” David can feel his heartbreaking. It feels like moments ago he was at yours for Christmas with your family, how well he bonded with your Dad over the smallest of things, but it was enough to make you happy. “is he going to get better?” 

Corinna shrugs her shoulders, looking down at the floor. “She doesn’t know.” She admits and listens as David shuffles from his bed. “What’re you doing?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” David questions, reaching for his phone and keys. “Nat, finish the outro and get Jason to check it over. I’ll be back later.” 

Without saying anything else, David walks out from his bedroom and straight to the front door. 

“Well, I guess we wait.” Natalie sighs as she lifts David’s laptop onto her lap, reviewing the footage whilst Corinna smiles to herself, glad they’re finally doing something about their dormant feelings.

*

The sound of knocking wakes you up from an unsettled sleep. 

At first, you’re sure it’s something you’ve imagined. No one would be trying to get a hold of you now, at eleven in the evening. 

You look around for some form of weapon, quietly running into your bedroom as you reach for the one item that could cause damage before making your way to the front door.

With a deep breath, you unlock the door and lift up your weapon. “David?” You lower your weapon with wide eyes as he stands there, holding his hands up in defence before catching a glimpse at your weapon of choice.

“Is that your blowdryer?” He tries not to laugh as you throw it aside, hoping it lands on your sofa. 

“What’re you doing here?” You question coldly, crossing your arms as you avoid his eyes, knowing he’s looking to see how you are.

“I erm,” David stutters, having not really thought anything through as he drove over on impulse. “Corinna mentioned a few things,” He trails off as you scoff. 

“It’s fine, David. You’re not my boyfriend anymore so you don’t have to check up on me.” You speak defensively, even if it’s only causing you more pain. 

Reaching out, David walks inside of the apartment he only visited once. Despite you having lived here months, it looks identical to when he came before. 

His eyes wander over to the pile of letters and big letters with threatening information inside. “I know I’m not, Y/n.” He states. “But I still care about you, I, I had no idea how much shit has been happening.” He moves closer, watching as you back away. “I’m sorry about your Dad, Y/n.” He says quietly, watching as your shoulders begin to shake and tears fall down your cheeks.

You’re past wiping them away, even in front of David. “He’ll be okay,” You tell yourself more than him. “he’s a strong guy.” You mutter, nodding as you lift your head up to see David’s eyes full of sorrow. 

“He will be.” David reassures you and you break down. 

Out of habit, David walks over and wraps his arms around you, holding you close. 

He hesitates as you freeze before wrapping your arms around him in response, letting him hold you close as you continue to cry. “I, I lost my job.” You manage to say without your voice cracking mid-sentence. “Dad’s bills are piling up so I paid my salary on that and now I’m going to be homeless.” It all feels numb at this point, but David can feel his heartbreaking.

“You’re not going to be homeless, I’ll never let that happen.” He explains as he pulls away, his hands resting on your face as he wipes away your tears with his thumbs. 

“I just feel like my whole world is falling apart and I don’t have anyone to rely on anymore.” You whisper, hating to admit the truth of it all. “I’ve been trying to deal with this, I didn’t want to be a sob story for anyone but I can’t,” Your voice gives in as your breathing becomes uneven and you hide your face into David’s chest. 

“You’re not alone, Y/n.” David comforts you, refusing to let you go at this point. “I’ll always be around, if you ever need me I’ll come over, even if the world is ending.” He tries to joke, hearing you squeak a chuckle in response. 

“Thank you, Dave.” You mumble as you glance up, forcing a small smile before returning to resting your head on his chest, missing the smile ghosting his lips. 

[eat0crow]

Maribat prompt - Bruce adopts Marinette please? (Sorry if I misunderstood and this is what you did Not want. If that's the case just ignore this, sorry)

Nope, you didn’t misunderstand at all Anon! I hope you don’t mind a bit of humor, I had a really shitty night-so many customers decided to yell at me it’s not even funny. I needed something lighthearted.

Beta read by some lovely people on the Maribat Discord server.

Who Needs Paperwork?

Bruce is done. So painfully done, that the only one who can’t see just how thin a line he’s walking is the source of his annoyance. Hal Jordan, the very man who makes homicide look more appealing every day. Did Bruce really need a moral code?

It just seemed to get in the way.

From behind him doors slam, people scatter, and yet Hal won’t catch the hint. “All I’m saying is that, isn’t it time you guys settled down, and had a whole flock of little birdies?”

Bruce has never, not once in his life, desired friends. He hadn’t wanted a relationship either, yet here he is, six months into a decades in the making relationship with Clark Kent. If Bruce had known that the League would take his relationship as a sign of him getting soft, he would have sworn Clark to secrecy.

“I’m going to the training room.” Which should have roughly translated to 'follow me, and I’ll use you for target practice'. Several people within hearing distance shudder at the implication. Bruce is darkly satisfied; he hasn’t seen this much fear directed at him in months. Hal Jordan, well Bruce has theories on how green lantern cores affect intelligence.

None of them are particularly positive.

“It’s never too early to start working on your ninja kid army,” Hal says lightly, as if he’s talking about the weather, and not something as morally bankrupt as child soldiers. Sure he trained Robin young, but it’s not like Bruce had a choice. Dick would have been fighting mob bosses with or without his consent. Training had been the only thing keeping him out of even more danger. “Who’s going to carry on your terrifying legacy?”

“I already have Robin.” And because Bruce can see Hal’s next sentence before he even says it— “And Clark has Conner. Aside from procreation being wholly unnecessary, it’s also physically impossible. You are aware that it requires a woman to produce off-spring, right?”

“Yeah, tell that to LexCorp,” Hal mumbles under his breath. Bruce would be lying if he said he hadn’t ever wondered about that. Sure Conner’s a clone, but he’s also the most stable clone Bruce had ever seen. He wouldn’t put it past Luthor to have spliced in a secondary set of DNA. “Just think about it Spooky. Combine your brains with Clark’s powers and bam! You’ve got the one person on earth who could defeat Doomsday without breaking a sweat. Isn’t that a better tomorrow?”

Bruce stops, because things make a lot more sense now. Doomsday had been terrifying, he opened up a whole world of possibilities. Of threats too strong for the League to deal with, just waiting. There’s no escaping this conversation. Even if he tunes it out now, Hal will just bring it up again and again, until Clark finally catches on. That will make the man pout.

Bruce really doesn’t like it when Clark pouts.

He might not have the patience to deal with Hal’s solution to apocalypse inducing threats now, but he’ll have even less later when Barry no doubt joins Hal’s crusade. One idiot is bad enough. Bruce is not willing to explain to Dick why he killed his best friend's uncle.

“That’s why the Young Justice League was formed,” Bruce points out slowly, his voice careful, like he’s explaining the concept to a toddler. Hal probably has an I.Q that stalled around the fifth grade, so same difference. “Their role is to carry on our legacies in protecting earth after we’re unable.”

“That’s not what I mean! Sure, by the time they graduate out of the little leagues they’ll be ready to take over, but that’s just it. They’re a miniature Justice League. They’ll have the exact same blind spots as us. I’m talking about combining skill sets here.”

Bruce actually hadn’t thought of that, and as much as the words choke him to admit, Hal is right. They would be subject to the exact same failings as the current League. They’re a group trained to take over specific positions. They’ve been trained for years and no one, not even Robin, would be able to break close to half a decades worth of habits.

They make it to the training room, and a flash of vivid, bright red catches his eye. The newest member, Ladybug is talking to Clark. Bruce hadn’t been aware that he would be joining him for this training session, but it all works out nicely.

Ladybug looks worn, and Bruce doesn’t doubt she is. The girl is Diana’s apprentice, not sidekick. They've both been adamant about that. No one, not even Diana, knows her identity. Bruce could respect a healthy dose of secrecy, but she’s only around Dick’s age. The information on her is scarce, and Diana is tight-lipped. Partially out of ignorance and partially out of some vague magical pact her mother made.

A combined skillset.

Ladybug doesn't have years of habits to break. If her own admissions are anything to go by, she doesn’t have any formal training outside of noncombatant magic. She’s dangerously smart too. Bruce has seen her improvise enough times. Sure, she might not have as much super-strength as Clark, but Bruce has seen her lift far more than her frame should allow. Maybe strength proportional to a ladybug’s? Her skin is certainly reinforced by what has to be the tensile strength of an exoskeleton.

Which is glossing over her ability to create solid matter through pure will—maybe he'll have Hal train her a bit, her powers are similar enough to a Green Lanterns’.

“You have a point, Lantern.”

There’s a suspicious pause. “I do?”

Bruce offers him his most deadpan expression. So even Hal knows that ninety percent of what leaves his mouth is garbage, good to know. “The League will be comprised of individuals with the same failings as current Leaguers. In the event of world-ending threats, we can not afford these failings. So I will be taking your advice.”

“Oh, that’s...good.” Hal looks perplexed, like he hadn’t expected his argument to land him anywhere but in a body cast.

“However,” Bruce continues, walking over toward Clark and Ladybug. “I have no interest in experimental science that’s no doubt illegal in numerous countries. So, we’ll be adopting.”

“We will!” Clark shrieks from his left.

Everyone else in the room gasps. Bruce ignores them, reaching out instead to grab Ladybug. “She’ll be the perfect candidate.”

"Bruce," Clark whines. "That's not how adoption works. You've skipped so many steps."

Bruce sends him a pointed look, the one that says play along or you're sleeping on the couch. Clearly, Clark gets the message because he shuts up. The look on his face also implies that Bruce is going to be out in the dog house for this stunt, but he chooses to ignore it anyway.

So what if Alfred likes Clark more. Bruce still owns the house.

Ladybug, to her credit, only blinks.

Wide blue eyes stare at him, she looks eerily similar to Dick and Conner. They all share the same coloring: black hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. She has Dick’s delicate bone structure, Bruce could probably pass the two of them off as twins.

Dick is going to be roped into teaching her some actual acrobatics as soon as possible. Would a grappling hook be an appropriate ‘welcome to the family’ gift? Bruce doesn't trust her yo-yo.

A beat passes. “I already have parents.”

“Not superhero parents.”

[cmykayleena]

cf-sims is thinking about deleting her profiles because of you. How does that make you feel? What you and your clique did to her after you banned her unfairly from your server is absolutely terrible. What cause do you have to attack her so hard for? The ban wasn't enough for you? I've reported your twitter and tumblr, and I'm not going to stop until you realize how wrong you are and how much you hurt her. Fuck you!!!

This is getting quite ridiculous. First let me say that I have the right to ban anyone from my server as I see fit. Second I will say that I am a pretty fair person and only ban when I absolutely have to. THIRD - she wasn’t banned because we disagreed with her opinion; she was banned for bashing the server - which, might I add, is against the rules of the server. Let’s get deep into this, because I’m getting fucking sick of this shit and the hate messages I have received for my decision to ban her. (I apologize to everyone who follows me who doesn’t want to see drama on their dashboard. I’m not one for drama so it severely upsets me that I have to make this post. However, this will be the ONLY post I make on this subject.)

Read on if you want, and I ask anyone who does to make your own judgement on this, because I’m not here to sway anyone from one side to another but it’s clear that both sides of the story need to be brought to the surface.

Thursday afternoon is when CF-Sims was banned from S4MM. It started with a member asking for opinions on whether or not it was okay to share CC in a zip folder when uploading a sim for others to download. The consensus was no and afterwards CF added her opinion which was the opposite of the majority. Here are the screenshots:

So in the next screenshot CF derails the subject in what some believe to be an attempt to question my rules. They believe she was preparing to call me out for being a hypocrite when it comes to swearing. I swear on my Tumblr but I don’t allow excessive swearing in my server.

At this point I’m tired of the subject interrupting the main channel and people’s conversations so I shut it down (plus I’m at work during this time and can’t really pull myself away).

Some time passes and I’m shown a tweet that CF posted a few hours after I shut down the debate on creator TOUs vs EA’s TOUs on CC.

So, she calls me a hypocrite because I curse on my Tumblr all the time but don’t allow it in my server. But let me correct her perspective: I curse all the time on Tumblr (all the time outside of the computer) and don’t allow excessive cursing in my server. It’s a place for all ages, therefor cursing should be to a minimum if it’s used at all. So I banned her with this message:

Admittedly I let my frustration get the best of me, and so the ban reason resulted in me mimicking her post on Twitter. We’re all human, and none of us are perfect. After this I thought it would be done and over with, but my sassy ban caused her to go on a tirade of sorts. In the screenshot below you’ll see her next tweet and the responses from some of the mods.

So she gets a few more replies from some of my moderators telling her why she was truly banned and she proceeds with another tweet.

After a couple more responses she deletes her three tweets:

She continues on in her replies to her followers who commented on her tweets calling us rabid dogs, children, and hypocrites all while being a hypocrite herself. I’m being shown all these tweets at this point and just hoping it all blows over. Some people act out when they’re moderated, some don’t. It’s just what you have to expect when you run and/or moderate a Discord server, no matter the size.

I’m not Twitter savvy, so these next screenshots I share may be out of order, sorry for that. (I’m also not blacking out the names of other people - not to rope them in and get them involved - but because anyone can get on Twitter and see these replies. They’re all public.

Name calling and judgement I’m assuming is due to my ban message saying that other members are kind, respectful, and generally decent people. I mean, I’m not lying. 99% of the members in my server are great people! Of course there are going to be some bad eggs in the mix - it’s the internet, it’s inevitable. On to more screenshots.

Key points here: My mods are rabid dogs at this point. I apparently have a clique, and CF didn’t attack us for our views. Let’s pull up that original tweet.

And on we go.

In response to the reply at the top of the screenshot. Feel free to temporarily join my server and judge for yourself if it has a high school vibe. I basically have an open door policy. You don’t agree with something I do in my server, my mods, or how something is handled you can come to me and let me know and I will do everything I can to make sure we’re on equal ground. Now, in that last reply the controversial view is the thing she continues to ride out in this scenario. She thinks it’s fine to upload a zip file on all CC used on a sim or in a lot and share it while giving credit to the creator rather than just linking to all the CC. Kind of a shitty thing to do, but she’s got free speech and her actions and words speak for themselves.

She pretty much is petty at this point and going against the character I think SHE believes she has. At this point it’s pretty clear to me what her character is.

Yea.. she totally moved on. Here I am rolling my eyes very dramatically.

I don’t think I’ve ever given my true age - I’ve just said I’m an adult player. I’m 34, for the record. All my mods range from in their 20s to my age.

So she just goes on, responding to every person and repeating herself.

Are you looking at the timestamp of these tweets? Apparently she’s got plenty of time for this.

So Friday comes along and I decide to open Tumblr when I have some downtime at work.

At this point I’m getting pissed. Why? Because I let her have her little rant all over Twitter without getting involved. My moderators were amazing and stuck up for me without being asked - there really wasn’t a reason for me to get involved and continue this very petty and ridiculous drama. But here I am, with a hateful anon. So I turned off anon asks and deleted this one without replying.

So I take a look at CF’s Twitter and see this:

Now she’s truly spouting lies at this point because I literally told her that excessive cursing is not allowed while cursing isn’t prohibited. I mean, the proof is there in the screenshots! At this point she’s just… laying it on super thick and I’ve had it. I decide it’s time for me to get involved and set the record straight. If only it were that simple.

I don’t have many screenshots for this because I was focused on correcting her lies and even directly responding to people in her threads to make sure they see the truth and judge for themselves what’s right and what’s not. I retweet her deleted tweet first and respond with this. And from here I will leave you to do what the internet does best and dig as deep as you can and want to in these Twitter profiles.

Here’s mine, and here are my replies. A lot of my replies include screenshots of my rules to clarify the swearing and why she was banned without warning.Here are the replies to my ‘clique of rabid dogs’ that attacked her so aggressively before I finally started responding to her: 1, 2, 3, and 4.Here are CF-Sims’ replies.

Note that absolutely NONE of us harass her, none of us call her names, and none of us actually act like rabid dogs.Take this information and judge for yourself what you think is true and what’s not right. I’m not here to sway you one way or another, but to shed the PROPER light on the situation as a whole. 

This is my only post about this. Any anon hate will be deleted, any hate from alternate Tumblrs will be deleted. Yes I’m serious about a lawyer because I don’t put up with lies and slander. And yea… sorry I have to clog up your feeds with this bullshit drama.

[taeyongs-laugh]

Not Close Enough: Too Close Sequel (Angst/Fluff) || Park Jaehyung

Request(s):  OMG, it's perfect! I really like it! This's what I expected ❤ If you have a time can you make a part two? But with fluffy end? I'll be grateful ❤ @jaepark-soul​ ||  PART TWO PLEASE @briannatrbl​ || Too Close jae scenario part 2??? Angst, but a happy ending pleeeaaase. Your killing me😢😢😢 (Anon) || Hiii! I was too affected by your 'too close' scenario of jae, so im here to request if its okay with you to have a second part of that? Like where they make up? ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ (Anon) ||  oh my god, i love 'too close' so much! will you do a part 2 (pls pls pls)? my heart is racing for the couple, omg, love your blog! (Anon) ||

Genre: Angst-ish? I guess kinda in the beginning but there’s fluff this time and also drama because I am T R A S H

Warning: Swearing (can you believe it because I can’t)

Word Count: 1960ish

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who liked the first part of this scenario! I am so grateful for all of you and I hope you enjoy this one just as much, if not more than the last!! Also I altered the prompt a bit to make it a little messier and more dramatic oOPS! ENJOY!

Masterlist

           It had been 3 weeks since your fight with Jae. Therefore, it had also been 3 weeks since you two broke up and you stormed out of your shared apartment. Not seeing him was killing you, although sometimes there was a familiarity to it. It reminded you of a time before you had to stress over someone finding out about your relationship and spreading it to the public, successfully ruining his image and his career. But nonetheless, you felt a dull ache whenever you entertained the thought of his smiling face or his stupid, stupid jokes that never failed to make you laugh.

           You were living with Brian for the time being. You really didn’t have many friends who had their own place, and the ones that did had no clue about you and Jae in the first place, so he was more of a last resort than you wanted to admit. Mainly because he was so close with Jae and you didn’t want to be reminded of him any more than you were on your own just by looking at your camera roll—which you had also done more times than you wanted to admit, and it had gotten to the point where Brian had threatened to take your phone from you altogether.

           Needless to say, the past three weeks had been nothing short of hell. You had no idea where Jae was, what he was doing, who he was with, or how he even felt about the situation. You didn’t bother asking Brian, not wanting to make him feel like you didn’t care about him. Despite the shit that you had been going through, he had made the past 3 weeks more bearable. Talking you through things, comforting you, spending time with you, and overall being your rock. However, Jae was still the one thing plaguing your mind the other 75% of the time.

           You sat on Brian’s couch, tugging at your hair as you struggled to remind yourself for the third time that day that Jae is not your entire life, you can survive without him. Yes, he was your first meaningful relationship and yes, you still love him even though you’re the one who broke things off but you can be a functional human being without him! You felt sick to your stomach, your brain going to the worst possible places, feeling the couch sink next to you as you spiraled out of control. Brian sat down next to you, reassuringly wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you slowly began to look over at him.

           “He didn’t end up going out with Jamie that night, you know,” Brian muttered quietly, looking down at your tired eyes.

           “Really? I figured he’d want to leave the apartment, if not just for a little while,” you replied, equally as quiet as you rested your head on the taller boy’s shoulder, eyelids drooping. There was a slight pause, silence filling the room.

           “He did leave the apartment. Jae came over to the dorms not long after and just sat there with wide eyes, clutching one of your t-shirts for dear life for a while,” he began, relaxing slightly into the couch. “He was really shaken up about the whole thing, I don’t think he could really comprehend what had just gone down between you two. It took about 15 minutes before we could get him to talk to any of us. After he explained what had happened between you two, he asked if he could move back into the dorms. Jae was almost positive he couldn’t get out of the lease and didn’t want to just leave you to pay the rent on your own, but he just couldn’t stand being there without you. We let him stay at the dorms for a few days but thankfully managed to convince him to stay in your guys’ apartment.” Your eyes immediately widened at the new information; you couldn’t even fathom how this felt for him. It was a bit of a shock to learn that he cared so much, and you began to wonder if calling it quits was really the right decision.

           “Why’d you wait so long to tell me this?” you asked, knitting your eyebrows together. Brian sighed, tensing up slightly as he opened his mouth to speak.

           “Part of me wanted you two to get over each other, which was incredibly selfish on my end. I really care about you and I didn’t want you to just go running back to him blindly, especially after all the shit he put you through,” he replied, timidly. “But another part of me wanted to wait until you were ready to hear it. If I would’ve told you all this the next day when you were standing at my door, sobbing over how stupid you thought you were and how you had made the biggest mistake of your life, you wouldn’t have realized that you were right about everything you told him and that you deserve to be treated better. If you’d have just run back to Jae two days after your split, he would have just continued to neglect you and I couldn’t stand to see that happen, let alone be a part of it because I--” Brian cut himself off, inhaling sharply as you lifted your head off his shoulder.

           “What I’m trying to get at is, Jae misses you like crazy Y/N. He can’t continue like this without at least talking to you about what went wrong,” he explained. “I’m definitely not asking you to forgive him, I’m just asking you to talk to him. Whether you give him a second chance is totally up to you, Y/N.” Brian gently grabbed your hand, weaving his fingers between yours.

           “Why did you want to wait for Jae and I to get over each other?” you asked, your gaze glued to the floor. Brian let go of your hand, exhaling loudly. You could practically feel his heart beating out of his chest.

           “I—it’s because I’m in love with you. I really, truly am Y/N. But I realize that it’s not fair to you or to Jae for me to be selfish or act on it, especially right now,” he began. “I didn’t want to tell you because you need to go talk to Jae. He loves you, Y/N, and you love him. No matter how much I love you, I can’t deny the fact that you’re still hopelessly in love with him, more than you probably want to admit. You really don’t need any extra complications in your life, especially at a time like this, which is why I’ve kept it inside for as long as I have. It’s been killing me for so long but I couldn’t say anything a—and I thought this break you two were taking might be my only shot. But then I realized that you were still in love with him, and you don’t deserve to have that taken away from you, and I deserve someone who can truly love me in return.”

           “Brian--” you began, reaching for his hand as he stood from the couch. You pulled him back, standing up along with him. Brian whipped around as you quickly pulled him down, connecting your lips. He was shocked, but soon relaxed into the kiss as you loosened your grip on his hand. The kiss started off rushed and out of sync, but the two of you soon found your rhythm, Brian placing his free hand on your lower back as you wrapped your arm around his neck. He pulled away softly, slightly leaning his forehead onto yours.

           “Thank you,” Brian whispered, squeezing your hand lightly. “But you need to go talk to Jae.” You nodded in agreement, lightly burying your face into his neck before he broke away. The feeling of his fingers lingered on your lower back as he walked away, going into his bedroom.

           The next day, you collected all your things from Brian’s place and went back to your apartment. Jae was still at the studio and wouldn’t be home until late, so you had time to think. The whole altercation with Brian the night before had fucked you up a little bit, but you decided it was best not to focus on that while trying to get his best friend back. It was incredibly stressful nonetheless.

           You jumped when you heard the door open, eyes darting to the front of the flat. Jae stood in front of the door, staring at you like a deer in headlights. He looked paler than usual, his dark circles seemed to be embedded into his skin. You stood up slowly, terrified of what might happen next.

           Jae ran over to you, tightly wrapping his arms around your torso. You froze in shock, slowly returning his strong embrace.

           “Y/N, I’ve missed you so much,” he choked out, burying his face into your neck. “Please, please forgive me. I love you so much, I promise I’ll change, I don’t know what I’d do without you, please--”

           “Shhhhhh, Jae just calm down, I’m here,” you whispered, gripping onto his back. The two of you stood like that for a while, Jae heavily leaning onto you. Eventually, Jae collected himself enough for the two of you to sit on the couch, neither of you sure what to say.

           “I’m so sorry,” Jae spoke up. “You have no reason to forgive me, I know that, but please just hear me out.” The room grew silent, the tension thick.

           “I’m listening,” you began. Jae sighed, staring at the ground.

           “I have no excuses for neglecting you, and I realize that it was really shitty of me to try and blame it all on you,” he began, gradually starting to look up at you. “I was scared; I was scared of how much I cared about you and I tried to distance myself because I thought it would make it less scary, but I just lost you in the process. I haven’t been able to keep you out of my head for the past 3 weeks, I barely ate anything, I couldn’t sleep, I—I’ve just been a mess. And I understand how depressing that sounds, especially because I’m a grown man who should be able to take care of himself, but I need you. I love you more than I think I’ve loved anyone in my life and I was so terrified of it that I ended up doing what I feared the most; losing you. I understand if you don’t forgive me but I just wanted you to know that I love you and not having you in my life has made these past 3 weeks complete torture.” You looked up at his pleading eyes, your heart growing slightly weak at the sight. His words lingered in the air as you contemplated how to respond.

           “I forgive you,” you sighed, reaching out to grab his hand. “But the next time you feel like that, I need you to talk to me about it before this happens again.”

           “I will, I swear. I can’t risk losing you again,” Jae said, reaching to cup your cheek. He leaned in for a soft, slow kiss, both of you relaxing into the feeling. It was comfortable but electric, it reminded you of how much you truly loved him. A pang of guilt struck your heart as you recalled the feeling of Brian’s lips on yours—strange but comfortable—as you and Jae slowly pulled away from each other.

           “I love you,” you breathed out, wrapping your arms around his neck.

           “I love you more,” Jae replied, leaning in once again, the world around you suddenly completely irrelevant.