#no... im definitely not a girl anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

koko2unite · 1 month

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#mom asked me to cook breakfast so I made the usual but for some reason it's too salty apparently #(it doesnt)#so now she's telling me that I'm a failure followed by a bunch of sermon on why I should leave my job and get married to a girl and #shave my beard and don't eat anymore so I can actually be happy and not useless #(apparently I'm not happy now) and also says thank you mockingly. Great mom #what a fun trip #also ive been telling them can we go to this specific shop i wanna see if i can find cheaper steam deck there and they all start getting #angry on me on how selfish i am for just asking that #and how i dont care about my mom because my mom isnt interested on used game stores #like what the fuck #i paid all of the tickets for her here why the fuck am i not allowed to go to where i want #pissing me off #i wanna go homeeeeee #honestly im not excited about this trip no more i just wanna go home and just go back to work and then at night i draw and play ffxiv #the only one excited i have is disneyland on the last day but i can think of several ways they ruin it too #my mom definitely will be like im tiredd go find a chair and so i have to wait for her #i hate this trip

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vampireghoul · 2 days

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Explaining my hare brained schemes as to why I work so much and what I’m doing every day makes me sound like an actual psycho

#like y’all im about to go to school and move across my state i’m just working constantly to get my savings up so i wont be breaking my back #trying to pay bills while im also in school full time standing and cutting hair every day #and also i have two jobs rn and cook every day and help my family by doing in home care for my grandpa #which isnt really a job #i get paid for it prob like an extra $100 a month but i only do it because they need the help and cant afford a nurse and the va wont cover #one even though he can hardly walk and cant lift anything and is blind and deaf #its actually bullshit #they only cover me for like 6 hrs a week or smth but i definitely do a lot more #so basically im exhausted as fuck every day #💀😭 but im getting my education soon and going on a cruise next yr #so i’ll be alright #goth girl on the boat is going to be awesome #i have 2 swimsuits but i wanna get a couple more #and some pretty dresses to wear in the evenings #i havent rlly drank much at all since i turned 21 so 22 will be the yr i get plastered on the cruise #i dont even rlly smoke anymore #i havent actually BOUGHT weed in 4 months now #i got weed for my bday #sometimes i have the occasional edible #but ive cut down so so much and have just stopped smoking entirely #not that i wouldnt socially or anything #but asthma. smoking is bad for me. my asthma is actually hugely caused by a lifetime of secondhand smoke.#and ive also been cooking dinner every night #and working out a lot again #so im actually doing great rn #😭 need to clean my place but its so hard to find the energy with everything else im doing #but i swore to myself id do it today #and i think my roommate would be glad if i did my fucking laundry #ignore my grammatical errors or i’ll bite you #i need like… a good dicking.. or a good fingering…. or head

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macaronitrash · 4 months

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every time i discover another queer woman character being fucked over by the writer(s) i start biting rocks and breaking things and making bombs to explode big time

#im watching the mikes mic vid on scream queens pilot #i definitely watched an ep or two when it premiered but dropped off quickly #super super super cool that one of the characters was a butch woman nicknamed predatory lez #and she dies shortly after kissing a girl for the first time onscreen #like i get it the characters aren’t supposed to be good people #but someone on the writing team made the decision to give the one butch woman the name predatory lez #and (judging by the wiki) didn’t bother giving her much of a personality #and you just KNOW they were like wow we’re sooo groundbreaking having a lesbian character #but now that she’s kissed a girl idk what her purpose is anymore let’s just kill her #tbh it was probably this character that made me stop watching #like oh ok so a portion of this show will be dedicated to popular girls calling me slurs #im gonna check out here thanks #macaroni chats #lgbtq #sapphism #media analysis

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vnknowcrow · 5 months

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Christine is stronger then I am. No lesbian break up or military would make me strong enough to go through a lobotomy AND get my vocal cords fucked with no painkillers for 2 weeks AND stay in the Sierra Madre

#shes crazy as fuck #does the circle just think shes like #dead now??#does she ever get back to them like hey guys im #okay physical #definitely not mentally #i literally stay in the sierra Madre long enough for the ghost people to think im a hologram and they literally dont touch me anymore #huh?????#i know she didnt just do it for Veronica or the bos #its just funny phrasing it like that #fallout #fallout new vegas #girl you fucking insane its hot #dead money #dead money spoilers

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esdeaths · 11 months

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Genuinely one of my favorite scenes in succession is when Caroline brings Kerry and Sally Anne to the front row at Logans funeral. They sit together as equals, as Logans former lovers, whether by marriage or infidelity. They all loved him and grieve for him. and he loved them all back in his own way i suppose. And when Marcia sees Kerry cry she finally sees her as a woman who loved Logan, and who is heartbroken and was lied to just like the rest of them, and offers her hand in support. Logan did so much to tear people apart and Caroline brings them all together in one of the very few scenes in the series that love and compassion is shown for the sake of love and compassion and not for ulterior motives or personal gain

#kerry who was so young that logan was most definitely the first man to mention marriage to her #she was so in love and wanted to be loved and believed she was special #and caroline sees her crying and sees her for the sad and heartbroken young woman she is #and she herself embraces the mistress of her old marriage #realizing it was logan that pulled them apart #and she draws marcia in saying shes forgiven her marriages mistress and she should do the same #and then marcia sees kerry for the sad heartbroken girl she is and comforts her #theyre united in grief and love and logan isnt there to split them apart anymore #and caroline even says that logan would hate it would hate that theyre capable of forgiveness and love #and repairing the relationships that he fractured #im emotional #succession

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blessedhypocrite · 1 month

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like mannnnnnnnn. Mannnnnnnnn.

#i know so deeply that im very happy i didnt date this guy #i do not want kids i dont want to date a man long term i didnt feel like i could be my true self around him #but male validation is a drug for me #and jason was there for me when my house burned down so like. theres definitely a lil trauma bonding going on there.#and honestly 90% of the reason im thinking about him again is probably because im ovulating #and im still really sexually attracted to him #but i do NOT love him and i never will romantically #were still friends #weve hung out twice fine after he told me he didnt have feelings for me anymore #but here i am re watching a video of him playing breaking the girl on guitar for me #and thinking ughhhhhh i wanna kiss himmmm #when theres literally a girl who thinks im cute and wants to meet up when we go back to school!!!#like why do i even care about him #i know the answer its because i dont feel that way ab people unless ive become their friend #and i havent gotten to know that girl at all yet so. theres no connection there yet #plus he was there for me when my house burned down so. theres definitely some trauma bonding going on there.#anyway man im just feeling a little lonely and i want to feel his touch again!!!!

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mbat · 2 months

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i must be fr the only person who never rly cared for vee but thats mostly cause one of the first things we saw her do was throw away and give away luzs stuff as if it was hers and i just know if someone did that to me id be so pissed. do NOT touch my shit dude istg. like they didnt even know if luz was dead or not like at least wait a few years or some shit. not a month. its so petty of me but its also a fictional character so. i dont even hate her i just dont rly care in general

#my post #definitely not tagging the fandom even for blog purposes cause i dont need people talking to me about this ajfjajd #im literally just expressing this cause i think about it every time i see vee #i just know if some people saw this theyd make a fuss cause shes def a loved character which is fair #like. dude my nephews kept coming into my room when i wasnt there and trying to take my things #so much so that when i was at therapy on tuesday and therefore couldnt protect my room #THE BROKE ONE OF MY FIGURINES. MY ESPEON. i had to superglue the tail back on but it doesnt even fit right and i cant even #remember how it fit anymore and i. oh my FUCK. not to mention they straight up succeeded in stealing my glameow plush #and taking it back to their house. it was fine and i got it back thankfully but like ???#stop touching my shit ??? stop breaking and stealing my shit ???#i just dont like people messing with my stuff. its hard to even pinpoint why. i just dont like it.#so seeing her do that to luz was so irritating. girl thats not your shit leave it alone !!!!! at least put it in storage ???#its one thing to steal someones life (im not judging that part /srs) but its like. at least respect their stuff dude...#<- i am literally the only mf who cares about this jfjsjd i keep wanting to say more but i think i sound. so weird so i wont

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bunnyboy-juice · 2 months

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blah blah blah blah blah

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thatoneluckybee · 8 months

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HHHHHSHAHHHHHHHHHHHH. HHHHhhhhhhhhhhh Nnnnnn

#Girl's 8-9 month hyperfixation is dying :(#YTTD MY LOVE COME BACK PLEASE IF I DONT HAVE DOPAMINE I GET DEPRESSED AND DIE #it's definitely going to be a huge interest of mine for a LONG time coming but it ain't that level anymore :(#I mean. I DID lose the hyperfixation on it a bit ago and it came back full swing later #I still have hope #rambles #wt the very least I don't think im gonna burn out of to <3 #My last few major hyperfixations I burnt out of (recovered and can again interact with danganronpa still haven't recovered for toh) BUT I #Think I'll still be able to be very very into yttd! Which is really good I love this game so much #Fambles

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whyberealistic · 7 months

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have my first wedding dress fitting today and therapy tomorrow and i couldn't tell you which i'm dreading more

#I'm already Sad and tonight is gonna be a mess of like #feeling bad bc I'll be alone bc Kelsey's at work and i dont have friends other than work friends #they're like 'please limit your party to 5-6!'#im not close to my older sister and my mom's dead #its my grandma's dress and she's doing...okay but definitely declining #so I'm just gonna be some hairy lesbian with acne by herself in this bridal shop for like.......... conventionally attractive Girly Girls #plus ive put on weight recently and i'm still Adjusting to not being a skinny 22yrold anymore lmao #and trying on/seeing myself in dress clothing has always been an awful trigger for me #like looking at myself in anything other than a tshirt and jeans just makes my skin crawl i look so ugly #i also don't know like.......... anything about weddings or wedding dresses or tailors #and i don't have anyone to ask #except reddit lmao #anyway IDK i guess the therapy will be much needed after this LMAO

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louismygf · 2 years

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2022 louie wrapped 🫂

favorite song on walls - fearless

favorite song on fitf - lucky again or att or waoyf or ooms or or or

favorite fitf single - out of my system

favorite music video - bigger than me

most played song on spotify by louis - kill my mind (lifetime), bigger than me (6 months), all this time (4 weeks)

louis life lesson - always have hope. trust your gut & follow your heart (also, when following your heart, dont be afraid to make mistakes). be brave.

favorite louis lyric - time can always heal you, if you let it make its way into your bones (fitf)... otb lyrics still at my top though! specifically it's a solo song and it's only for the brave (walls)

favorite louis outfit - SOOO many. love me to death and longer hoodie, pleasure is pain cardigan, green dork sweater, purple hydrogen tee, pittsburgh 😇, F1 fila sweater, 28op black turtleneck & this..., but i feel like giving attention to this outfit :)

favorite live performance - THE FIRST PERFORMANCE OF BIGGER THAN ME, LIVE FROM MILAN, WAS INSANE ACTUALLY!!!!!!!!!!!

live favorite tour show - girl. all three nights of ltwt22: mexico city (n1 got me locked out of twitter, n2- just full on fun and complete chaos and n3......... perfection)

tagged by @throughmycigarette 🫶🏽

tagging @daffodilsfortomorrow @faithinlouisfuture @louis-in-red @letthisbeyourgreatest @polaroidplanets @28-quetzal @milf-louis @fruitylouis @sheisbeautyweareworldass @firstsummer

#i think a lot of u are already tagged sorry 😭#fav louis lyrics!!!!! hm . i have so many idk man 😭 i hate deciding on a definitive answer bc i always never have one #you said love was a pretty lie and i choked when your smoke got in my eye #the superman line ... a lot of lyrics from paradise !!! maybe all of paradise verse 2... also btm verse 2 #i keep building mountains hoping that theyll turn to gold #put the pain behind you now you dont need it anymore #they say bitter ends turn sweet in time #GIRL im going to be listing the whole album atp 😭#ik i said so much already but asuncion shirt was good 😔 blue burberry!!!!!! the purple jacket <3 myeah #OK & for shows..... ofc ltwt22 manila :D #portland n2‚ santiago n1 (kmm iconique lights)‚ austin‚ philly‚ afhf22‚ milan . ah... what a good year #nashville was also vv good!!!!#lokerse feesten:‚]#tagged #tag games #tag game

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jesterwaves · 1 year

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my experience with percy jackson is kinda funny in hindsight because reading the first book for the first time i was like 'no way...thalia mentioned!!!!'

#the fool speaks #for clarity - i read the third??? book in elementary school before the others because i needed to get a higher reading level book from #another class and was very shy so they just asked if i wanted percy jackson and handed me the third??? book. it was. as you may have guesse #a tad confusing #and my memory of it is not great thalia was the only character i could really remember. i guess apart from The Percy Jackson.#so anytime they'd talk about the tree and thalia i was like I Know That Tree. I Know That Name #i always wanted to actually read the series from the beginning but never got around to it because a girl in church talked about #how she couldnt even read it anymore because of the gay character #now i am gay and finally reading again! its fun! i love being a nerd again!#(yes i cannot wait to meet nico for real LMAO)#Anyways i finished the first book! love how percy's adhd was portrayed! im going to pick up the second one from my library soonish #if it's in. but i have two books ahead of it an im torn on which book i should read #my heart wants to continue percy jackson but i probably should be getting started on one of these two...#one of them is probably mid at best though T_T #also i do want to watch the movies now that i have read the book so i can understand just why it was disliked. i cannot remember the #movie that well either. the first half of the book seemed pretty similar to what i remembered. the ending was definitely different #i assume thats the majority of the issue? but as i said. cannot remember it that well.

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cronagorgonzola · 9 months

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Something ive noticed since i started corsetting is that a lot of women on tv are wearing corsets (or maybe some other kind of waist trainer)

Heres an obvious example:

The visible ribbing is likely part of her costume, the real tell is how you never see Seven of Nine bend at the waist - when she needs to get low to the ground, she always crouches with her back straight. It's easy to assume that thats an acting choice to make her seem stiffer and more robotic, but anyone who's worn a corset will know that thats how you have to move in a corset.

Point is: if seeing women on tv with perfectly sculpted hips and flat tummies makes you feel insecure, remember that they dont just look like that on their own. Theyve got a tightly-laced exoskeleton of steel ribs holding their bodies in that shape.

#im not even a girl anymore and i still cant shake these beauty standards #even if youre not consciously holding yourself to those standards it can be hard #seeing all these gorgeous women on tv with tiny waists and flat tummies #.txt #ESPECIALLY characters who wear jumpsuits if theres NO belly pouch they are DEFINITELY wearing some kind of waist trainer

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britneyshakespeare · 2 years

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being aroace is weird bc i’m queer but other queer ppl for the most part don’t understand the way i’m queer unless theyre also aro and/or ace

#i belong to the queer community but ppl think i'm an asterisk #queer on a technicality #queer because i'm definitely definitely definitely not straight #and i relate to other ppl under the queer umbrella but i feel like they don't. relate. to me #most likely bc they haven't seen or heard from many ppl w my experience which is...... hmph #bc i didn't really see or hear from anyone w my experience until i realized... oh shit that's me #& had to go seeking out others. i had to be inclined for my own self-interested reasons. which were totally fair #but like most other ppl are just. not. inclined to learn about aspecs especially not arospecs #which frankly i think i just get more and more aro w age #tales from diana #i'm gray aro (but very VERY aro okay very very disinterested in romance & borderline romance repulsed)#it's happened a couple times.... briefly for the most part. the 'gray' area is not very important to me nowadays #but when i was younger & i had NO CLUE i was aro & i just wanted romance i was very very confused #trying to figure out if i liked girls or not...... which i do....... but like...... in the same...... lukewarm way i liked boys #so i am sapphic and when i finally started to accept that side of myself around 18-19 it felt very important to me #& i still am sapphic. i still am queer in that way. but i hardly hardly ever care to define myself as bi these days.#not because i'm NOT bi anymore. but bc the way almost everyone uses 'bi' i just don't really feel represents me.#im aroace... that's what i am. other aroaces & their experiences represent me #my friends irl all know i'm queer but only like 3 of them even know i'm ace. bc it's not easy to come out as.#but i... do not like to tell ppl i'm bi. not anymore. they get the wrong assumptions in their head.#& those assumptions don't make me uncomfortable except for. it's not ME.#that's the only thing wrong w it. it's that there's this big missing MOST OF MY IDENTITY in my relationships.#i wish ppl fuckin understood more widely the aspec experience. for real.#my fellow aspecs i love you all btw.

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kulliare · 9 months

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i feel so envious when i see people with top scars and then i wonder what i would look like with them but then i feel like my tits are the best part of my body

#i feel like i also have like figured out what looks vaguely good on me and like #i learnt makeup so i feel like i have finally figured out how to be a girl in some ways #but also whenever i see top scars i am filled with such yearning #sometimes i’m like man i wonder if i just got breast cancer and thenni would #have an excuse to chop these off without the social drawbacks #ALSO i do not want to socialize like a man at all i can’t like #but also im just so scared for what people might say #and i don’t want to go into the pit again of feeling like unattractive like if T somehow like #i don’t know #makes changes i don’t like #i don’t even know anymore tbh #i wish i could like actually know what i am i remember asking like the equiv of gsa at my uni #like the trans ppl there how they knew they were trans and they gave me such mixed answers #which makes sense but i dont like that i wish i knew definitively #self image

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geodethecrow · 9 months

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just got deadnamed by a neighbor who I haven't talked to in years aaaaaaugh :(

#shes a really nice neighbor i just dont think shes been told that im not a girl anymore #unsolicited life updates that you definitely dont need #candlelight musings

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