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scarefox · 1 year

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The fact that I wrote my bachelors thesis about Jongwoo and how Moonjo broke him, how Jongwoos mental health spiraled through the plot and how the creators chose to show it to the audience via audio-visual storytelling (<3) which ENDED WITH ME getting broken down by the dramas complexity, it's many meta levels and Jongwoo my beloved unreliable narrator shenanigans nobody can decipher. In hindsight it was the worst drama to analyze while I was already burnt out, anxious and depressed af during a global pandemic, but simultaneously it also was the best drama for that theme because it indeed is one of the best displays and metaphors of mental illnesses.

Already at the time I was aware of the self irony, still had a lot of fun with picking everything apart. It is now one of my comfort shows lol... even though the thesis phase was horrible and didn't end well. My profs said I had some good points and methods. But in the end I couldn't finish uni so I never presented the work and never got their full feedback. (grade was mediokre bad imo because I couldn't finish spell checks and formalities at the end which is one of the most important parts of a scientific final paper unfortunately.... and my profs were salty that I used easier to access online sources more than old outdated books but hey I kind of mainly wrote that thing for myself not for the public 🤷‍♂️ ....)

Anyways, one thing I wanted to share from my analysis: I counted the times and situations Moonjo uses "Jagiya", generally as an indicator for when he directly manipulates Jongwoo, vs how Jongwoos behavior and mental health changes over time.

Just to understand the significance of "Jagiya": Moonjo uses it kind of as trigger word but also to get this emotional trust bond with Jongwoo (despite Jongwoo says he hates it, he still feels flattered at first). He always uses it when he wants Jongwoo to do something or to think a certain way. He almost just uses it when they are alone. When Jongwoos boss and girlfriend are present in the bar scene, it's even the first time Moonjo calls Jongwoo by his actual name. With Mrs. Eom they call him (room) 303

(do not reupload or use without my permission!)

Well, and based on that I looked into how these scenes were shot and differentiating from each other. Like camera work, frames, colors, effects, sound, hard cut / soft cuts, transitions etc. IT WAS A LOT, way too much I didn't anticipate going into it. I only watched it once then, to keep the impression fresh, which is adviced for movie analysis of 'scene impressions' to not delude it by your own thoughts and knowledge. BUT THE THING IS... Strangers From Hell changes a lot when you watch it again!!! You find so much more details all of a sudden, when you know how it ends.

#strangers from hell #the irony of it all will always be a special connection for me with that drama lol #I literally have so many notes and scene descriptions for every episode in form of excel spreadsheets #my profs before the thesis phase: if you think about analyzing your fav movies for this think again you might hate it afterwards #me: *get's more obsessed instead*

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Hathor & Sekhmet

Hathor: About to slap myself so you'll feel it Hathor: wherever you are ain't where you should be Sekhmet: what im sleep Sekhmet: 😴😴😴 Hathor: wake up 👊🏽 Hathor: you asked me to meet you, remember? Sekhmet: I think that's tomorrow Sekhmet: I said Wednesday, right Hathor: That's today Hathor: you blackout past Tuesday? Sekhmet: You're joking Sekhmet: well then, that means I've got a deadline I gotta meet and not a whole lot of time for brunch dates Hathor: you're joking Hathor: I cancelled on a fine boy for you Sekhmet: it's so early you got time to hit it back Sekhmet: I know I didn't tell you I'd meet you at the crack of dawn Hathor: you didn't and you're late af still Sekhmet: chill sis, I'll make it up to you Hathor: yeah Hathor: anyone else'd be offended you don't ever want to have a sober conversation Hathor: but I'll see you in the club Sekhmet: girl, chill 😂 Sekhmet: how fine was he that you're all kinds of vexed with me Sekhmet: don't even care how I'm gonna make it up to you, oh my days 🥴🍆🧠 for real Hathor: he's got prospects, I'm not saying any more than that if you're not coming out 👅 Hathor: I'll care how you're gonna make it up when you next show up for real Sekhmet: ugh! living up to your name 🐮 Sekhmet: bitch I'm busy 😏 the juggle is real Hathor: you know I don't say that shit lightly except once in a blue moon, however fine a lad be looking Hathor: but if you don't wanna hear it Sekhmet: is he 🧑🏾🧑🏿 Hathor: 🥛 Hathor: nobody is more surprised than me Sekhmet: 👏🙌 yay Sekhmet: I told you, white boys are the best Sekhmet: they treat us like 👸 Hathor: It's his Irish accent tricking me Hathor: I gotta take a trip back and cure myself Sekhmet: awh, you're homesick, precious Sekhmet: now it makes sense why you wanna tie me down Hathor: can barely understand him he's from so far north, more likely that Sekhmet: throwback 📟 📠 📺 📻 Hathor: get the psych dept to pull their shrink shit on me about it Sekhmet: You wanna be just like Vee, sorted Sekhmet: take my PhD now 💁 Hathor: be more disrespectful! first you stand me up and then put that out there Sekhmet: 🤭 you've got a ways to go, even if you're rolling mad extra today Hathor: I didn't ask 👼🏽💘 to 🎯 me up in the 🍑 Hathor: got my own things I'm busy with Sekhmet: love is magic 💖 Sekhmet: don't be complaining in my inbox when I'm tragically single Hathor: I've been serving and swerving him for long enough I thought I'd succeeded, there's the complaint Sekhmet: 🙄 you can't ❌ feelings bitch Hathor: white boys are a different animal, I ❌ the fear of Sekhmet: 😍😍😍 Hathor: I'm not here to be treated like a 👸🏽 if that's one step away from being called 'exotic' Hathor: there's nothing sexy about a power imbalance Sekhmet: most girls would disagree, babe Sekhmet: why do you wanna be run of the mill every day when we been #blessed with this 🔥 Sekhmet: all black guys wanna chat about is my light-skin privilege and their black man struggles, I can't 🥱 Hathor: fetishization like that ain't foreplay I'm interested in Hathor: 👑 me for other reasons than my melanin Sekhmet: insecurities SNAPPED, I'm sure he likes you for more than your skin, you crazy Hathor: he likes me for how I pour measures rn Sekhmet: racial Sekhmet: that's why everyone likes you 💃💃💃 Hathor: on account of being a poor student not Northern Irish, don't be biting the hand that feeds your blackouts Sekhmet: my white boys always pay Hathor: #blessed innit Sekhmet: 👸😇 tings Hathor: which white boy you with ignoring your deadline then? Sekhmet: whoever it is they've gone to work Sekhmet: but they left a 💳 with their cute note so I know I'm in a good postcode still 🙏 Hathor: so come meet me and spare mine, that's the right thing to do Sekhmet: just 'cos it's good doesn't mean I'm not lost still, damn Sekhmet: hold on and let me get dressed and get my bearings Hathor: if your phone ain't drained I can use it to get your bearings while you serve a look Sekhmet: who doesn't have a charger in their hoe 👜 PLEASE Hathor: you didn't know what day it was, can't blame me for 👶🏽ing Sekhmet: where would I be without you 😘 Sekhmet: mum hasn't phoned me in ages actually, it's so rude Sekhmet: I missed the last few but still Hathor: I hit her with your highlights, creatively Hathor: like how I won't mention a white boy making me feel like a baby 🐮 that can't walk Sekhmet: 😶😶 Sekhmet: dad would 😥 Hathor: and she'll 🙌🏽 harder than you've done Sekhmet: facts are facts Sekhmet: look at her dad, Vee's... Hathor: cliches are tired and stereotypes are damaging Sekhmet: @ your white boy with the 👋 then booboo Sekhmet: I think dad's in town working today, you wanna come for dinner with us? 🥂 Hathor: he's not mine to command in or out 👅 Hathor: yeah 🍾 will help Sekhmet: I'll teach you Hathor: those twin stereotypes are damaging too, like Sekhmet: oh hush, I only tried to 💋 you ONE time and we were like babies and that boy was the first great love of my life Sekhmet: anyway, you're like hot but not my types type these days, you know Hathor: that boy was trash Hathor: you levelled up fast though Sekhmet: awh, don't be rude, I have fond memories Hathor: I have loads of him trying to ask me out at the same time Sekhmet: oh yeah Sekhmet: I forgot that happened Sekhmet: his hair was gorgeous though Hathor: it was Sekhmet: good times Sekhmet: my new guy, not this one, the actual one, looks like old school Leo, I SWEAR Hathor: Yeah? Sekhmet: like Leo and a bit of River and Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions Sekhmet: 🥰🥰🥰 Hathor: love of your life material Sekhmet: definitely Sekhmet: he's a trader in the city and his apartment is 😱😱😱 Hathor: what's the age range this time? Sekhmet: he's only 26, it's mad how successful he is already Hathor: he sounds like the full 🎟 Hathor: any catch? Sekhmet: only technically Hathor: technically he's a 🤖? Sekhmet: ha, he totally has the stamina of one Sekhmet: he can keep up with me, almost 😉 Hathor: 👌🏽 he's perfect Hathor: fucking hell Sekhmet: no need to be jealous when you're 🥰 yourself Sekhmet: what does he look like? Hathor: Tall enough Hathor: more like a 🥊 than a 👼🏻 Sekhmet: you really do wanna do great grandpa Sekhmet: jk, he sounds so you Hathor: he does work for the main brewery that supplies us, maybe I do Hathor: Jesus Christ Sekhmet: 😂😬 processing that Sekhmet: not really though, every boy I've ever dated has been like dad, it's unavoidable tbh 💁 Hathor: in our postcode nobody's trying very hard to be anything else Hathor: 💰💳💎🍾 Sekhmet: why would they? Hathor: they wouldn't and they aren't, it'd be terrifying for any of those boys to step out Sekhmet: 🙄 you aren't going to throw yourself down a ladder when you're at the top, babe Hathor: wouldn't kill them to give other people a hand up though, they just act like it Sekhmet: 🥱 when's your deadline? Hathor: my work's done Sekhmet: then button it, loser Sekhmet: you wanna eat out on this nice rich boy's 💳 Hathor: ETA of 15 on getting to you Hathor: you best 🚿 Sekhmet: way ahead of you 🛀 Sekhmet: door's unlocked, our breakfast will hopefully be on the table when you get here Sekhmet: love ubereats Hathor: 🙌🏽 Sekhmet: you can bring it through, the view in this bathroom is immense Sekhmet: thought getting the driver to bring it to the tub was unlikely Hathor: he probably would but it's unlikely I'd recover from walking in on it Sekhmet: 😘 Sekhmet: do fuck with an asian boy Hathor: you don't know he will be Hathor: might not even be a lad Hathor: but if it is, guarantee they'll send the most unexpected one Sekhmet: it usually is, your stereotypes be damned Hathor: what are you gonna bet? Sekhmet: the Belgian 🧇s Hathor: you're on Sekhmet: sometimes you shock me with how green you are, Hath Hathor: back to putting disrespect on me, what a nice truce while it lasted, like Sekhmet: I mean, you know I can see the driver on my app, babe Sekhmet: no points for guessing where Hassan is from Sekhmet: you can have the 🧇s anyway Hathor: you know I can read your thoughts, the playing field is level Hathor: and anyway I like green, that's my boy's eye colour Sekhmet: been gazing into them longingly across the bar have we🤭 Hathor: maybe Sekhmet: so cute Sekhmet: hope this one doesn't have a fiancee Sekhmet: or a maid who thinks we've broken in Hathor: if he does he better break that eye contact with me Sekhmet: I meant Mr Black Card, don't worry Sekhmet: he's a student, yeah? he won't be Hathor: he's only got a year on us, I don't predict an engagement Sekhmet: yeah, doubt it Hathor: outside of our family people aren't usually that extra Sekhmet: some of the asian internationals are but they usually cheat if their intended ain't here yet so Hathor: Yeah Sekhmet: what even does an engagement mean anyway Sekhmet: not much, right Hathor: a flash 💍 Hathor: what's my course teaching me if I don't know the statistics on how often a wedding follows? Hathor: shows how outdated it is Sekhmet: he gives me that anyway Hathor: I'd take a phone number and be happy with it for now Hathor: but it's probably the party and that whole flex too, right? Sekhmet: the dress Sekhmet: but it's irrelevant if it doesn't happen, like you said Hathor: 🎁🎁 even if it doesn't if people bring them for the engagement as well, but you're not going short of any Sekhmet: right Sekhmet: 😥 if you need a wedding for attention Hathor: Jay's birth mum QUAKING Sekhmet: omg I bet that's EXACTLY what his fiancee is like Hathor: does he ever speak about her? Sekhmet: obviously not Sekhmet: but she must never come up from wherever they're from because I'm like ALWAYS over so Hathor: maybe she doesn't know about this place Hathor: old school Sekhmet: Who knows Sekhmet: can't be my problem Hathor: Yours is the day you've missed, like Hathor: what's the assignment? Sekhmet: design some sportswear line Sekhmet: got to get the sketches in by 5, but all I ordered for me was a shit ton of coffee, it'll be fine Hathor: more productive if I stay or go? Sekhmet: you've already missed your date, you may as well stay Hathor: okay Hathor: am the sportier one Sekhmet: how are you 😂 Hathor: ⚽⛹🏽🚴🏽🥊 Hathor: why dad loves me more than you Sekhmet: now I know you're talking nonsense 😏 Hathor: True, he loves Vee and she never gets off her chaise Sekhmet: and she doesn't even love him back Hathor: poor dad Sekhmet: yeah Hathor: what time's dinner with him? Sekhmet: I'll ask him when he wants to go Hathor: about to come up, so whatever you were planning for Hassan, this is me Sekhmet: regrettably noted

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foursprouthealth-blog · 7 years

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How Not to Break Up on Social Media

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/how-not-to-break-up-on-social-media/

How Not to Break Up on Social Media

My Facebook friends were really sad for me. Some random people just “liked” my status. Some mutual friends were shocked. “But you were the perfect couple!” one told me. “I no longer have faith in love!” another cried. Some dudes slid into my DM’s. My brother said, “What’s with the official statement? Sorry sis, ur no celebrity.”

EDITOR’S PICK

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It wasn’t my idea. When I’m not spewing my guts in personal essays, I’m a pretty private person. And my brother was right: There’s something so self-aggrandizing and delusional about assuming people care enough that you need to make a grand announcement about a life change. I agreed to this weird Facebook announcement because after four years together, I was desperate to be rid of my ex.

Post breakup, we scheduled a meeting at our old place to hash things out one last time. He brought along love letters I’d witten him and read them out loud at me through sobs as I sat impassive on the couch. My mom and my therapist kept texting to make sure he hadn’t murdered me. His last request before he left (without murdering me, thankfully) was that we come up with a positive, heartfelt statement to our Facebook following.

I’m not entirely sure why he wanted to do that, but I have some guesses: I think that, partially, he didn’t want to be asked about me, but he’s also the kind of person who believes in weird formalities like that, ones that aren’t necessarily so much outdated as they are outlandish, like his dogged insistence that it’s necessary to send a personal thank-you to everyone who wished him happy birthday on Facebook. Or at least, that’s who he was. I have no idea who he is now.

So we simultaneously posted these status updates (oh yes, we both posted the exact same one, at the same time). I try and think about how I would have chosen to announce our breakup on my own, and I want to say: Well, I wouldn’t have. Easy.

I want to say, Whatever, Facebook is for old people anyway. Nobody gives a crap. I’d just change my relationship status and hide it from my timeline and let people figure it out when they figure it out. Adjust my privacy policy as needed. The people who need to know will know because I’ll tell them.

It’s so much more complicated than that, though. Because when you deal with a breakup, you do kind of want to post something. I did, anyway—I was so eager to be rid of my ex, and I wanted everyone to know I was no longer attached to him. I was eager to move on and wanted everyone to know it was time to think about their single male friends for me. It was a terrible, traumatizing breakup, and I just didn’t want to be asked questions.

#gettinbackinthegame / Illustration by the author, Mikayla Park.

All of this sort of begs the larger question, “What do we use social media for?” For some people, it is legitimately a form of socialization. For others, it’s to bookmark articles and memes and pictures of small animals. For another group I will never understand, it’s to have pointless political arguments. For everyone, however, it should be entertaining. And you have to admit, in the age of social media, breakups—other people’s breakups, that is—are interesting at the very least and entertaining at the very best.

Look me in the face and tell me you haven’t enjoyed combing through your old high-school rival’s Instagram, trying to figure out if she split from her perfect-seeming hubz. You end up being a self-congratulatory Nancy Drew (But see, wait, zoom in on her hand, is she wearing her ring? I can’t see her ring.)

Tell me you haven’t screenshotted some weird-ass song lyrics your old BF posted, the ones that kind of maybe indicate that he’s split from the side chick he was banging while you were together and he maybe left you for, then texted the lyrics to all your friends (What do you think this means? She didn’t “like” it or anything… No, I can’t see her stuff, she’s private.) Then again, I’m sure people were shook AF when my ex and I posted those bizarre matching status updates (Omg are they serious? What happened? … Also how f***ing weird is that post?)

The Great Ring Detective / Illustration by the author, Mikayla Park.

The thing is, they’re shook, and then they’re not. Thanks to the instant gratification machine that is YouTube and Instagram, our generation has the attention span of a turtle (maybe that’s insulting to turtles, I don’t know.) You text that screenshot to your friends and then, five minutes later, you’re deep in discussion over a screenshot of a potentially insulting text Becky From Work just sent you.

People cared that we broke up, don’t get me wrong. I got lots of very nice phone calls, texts, and invites for coffee afterward… it’s just that people don’t care for that long. The phone calls ceased, people stopped asking me how I was. Guy friends stopped hitting me up in my DMs. People move on. They have to: Everyone has their own sh*t. In five minutes, no one will remember that weird status update you posted or didn’t post—they’ll wonder and forget that you weren’t wearing your ring. Let them.

#singlelife / Illustration by the author, Mikayla Park.

Is this the first time someone has tried to tell you, hopefully very nicely, that no one really cares? It’s not a bad thing! It’s honestly kind of the best ever. Because when it comes to announcing your breakup via social media, you can very honestly do it for you, baby.

Enjoy your five minutes of fame. Drag people down a rabbit hole of mystery if you want to. Post a bottle of prosecco and a pint of Halo Top on the grocery conveyor belt captioned hashtag single life; screenshot your Bumble profile, hashtag getting back in the game. Get wasted and overshare on Twitter, break the internet by airing your dirty laundry, and then delete the tweet like 45 minutes later. Hit your before-this-last-relationship crush up, slide into those DM’s, and let them know you’re single—instead of hoping the Facebook algorithm will show them for you (it won’t.) Post this:

Don’t think about it too much. In five minutes, it will be yesterday’s news. My breakup status is literally the only thing I regret about my entire breakup, and believe me, it does not keep me up at night.

Do the important things. Call your therapist (and if you don’t have one, what are you waiting for?). Go home and have a good cry with your mom. Rally your people because that’s what friendship is for, these very moments when you feel like you’re not enough because you’re suddenly one instead of two. Take every piece of advice with a grain of salt or ten. Everyone means well, but they can only see so far outside of their own experience. Don’t give up on love. And always, always, always, for f*ck’s sake, keep it interesting.

Mikayla Park is a teacher/nonprofit creative person residing in the slums of Beverly Hills. Find her, and her two charming rescue dogs, everywhere at @mikaylapark.

#Health

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