#not because he thought it was an ethical issue he was just jealous/insecure i think? again minute slay

[vivi-scera]

was reading a gofushi fic the other day and it was so uncanny like the undercurrent of grooming was there very clearly but the narrative refused to acknowledge it? and even if it did it was guised as something romantic or silly. remember that time i raised you and now your romantic affliction is a reflection of my own tastes? silly of us colleagues on equal footing. and then the scene would just move on as if i hadn't just read a 2 sentence horror story. as if the grooming was a mundane part of the backstory/meet-cute as relevant as idk hair color. which is kind of slay actually. schrodinger's grooming up in here

[lilsuzn]

MLQC Boys Jealous (PART 1 - SFW)

Fandom: Mr. Love: Queen's Choice

Warnings: None (:

Dedication: anon

Gavin

He certainly is a jealous type.

Because he is a very insecure man. He had a tough childhood. He lost his mom. His dad was… underwhelming.

He often feels like your presence is the only good thing in his life. 

You = the most beautiful and loving person that he has ever met.

So he’s not surprised to find many people adoring you… but it in no way means that it doesn’t bother him.

He can barely stand it even when that guy from your high school is getting just a tiny bit too close to you during the reunion.

And then he… leans to whisper something to your ear?

AND YOU LAUGH AT IT?!

The audacity!

The guts that little #$&!*@#% has!

He gets grumpy right away. He gives the poor, unaware guy A LOOK… but would never admit what bothers him or even that something bothers him at all.

Afterwards you need to humour him for a while before he finally opens up about it. And you should - this little biscuit needs that.

If it happens in the early stages of your relationship he just gets all shy and embarrassed and upset with himself for being so possessive.

He hugs you and presses your head against his chest so you won’t see his flushed cheeks and glossy eyes.

It crosses his mind that he basically doesn’t even deserve to be with and he shouldn’t stand on your way to find someone better… 

So please, please tell him how much he means to you. How you would never want another one, because there’s no one who could compare to him.

If it happens a little later on…

Kiro

Kiro is an adoration subject of MANY.

He almost has no right to be jealous when thousands of people openly fantasize about him on a daily basis.

And yet - he can’t help it when he sees you talking with some man. Standing incredibly close.

Kiro finished his recording early that day and decided to surprise you at work… and that’s when he spots you. Giggling at whatever nonsense he might talk about.

You look so, so beautiful when you smile and that jerk seems to see that too.

Kiro knows he has no reason to worry. He can trust you. And you love him. And you know he loves you and would do anything for you and give you anything you might ask for.

So there is nothing you might look for in another man. Right? Right.

He thinks. As he RUSHES your way.

He greets you with all of the most obnoxious pet names in existence and his lips land directly on yours without a warning.

Your interlocutor reacts with no small amount of concern, but when you, only slightly uncomfortable, address Kiro as “honey” and ask him just what he is doing there, the guy realises his position.

Then he rightfully excuses himself and Kiro doesn’t even hide his satisfaction as he follows his opponent with his eyes.

He takes you out to eat afterwards. Wherever you want. It’s his treat - obviously.

He wants to feed you and make you smile and laugh the way that guy did.

He thought that would soothe his uneasiness, but it didn’t. He needed more. Much more.

Lucien

Lucien is a silent jealous.

He isn't obvious with his jealousy… but he sure as hell is jealous.

You had a date planned for tonight and you were supposed to come to his research center after work.

The fate wanted for him to finish in the right moment to see you stepping out the elevator.

Your smile that forms when your eyes meet caused warmth to fill his chest and he just wanted to embrace you… but then, a colleague stopped him to ask him one last question.

That’s not really upsetting or surprising to you. You were very much prepared that you’d have to wait for him much longer to even finish work.

What surprises you is a strange man approaching you with a smile on his face.

He turned out to be yet another Lucien’s co-worker. He recognized you as his girlfriend and wanted to chat with you while you had to wait for the profesor, so you want to feel awkward just standing there waiting with nothing to do.

He’s incredibly kind. Tells you a few compliments but mostly fangirls over Lucien’s work ethic.

How ironic is that the moment his beloved profesor is back, this friendly man becomes Lucien’s enemy.

But no one would ever guess that. He would never show that.

Until…

When you’re already in the car the questions start to slip from his mouth.

What did he want? What were you talking about? Was he asking questions about our relationship? Or your personal life?

“Lucien, are you jealous?”

Silence.

Change of the subject.

But you will go back to it once you’re back home...

Victor

Would never admit it.

But he has a certain tendency… to be jealous for no apparent reason.

And when he has a reason he can get really, really jealous.

By reason I mean the fact that that venomous snake Lucien is your direct neighbor.

And that your highschool mate cop is driving you around so carelessly with his motorbike.

Not to even mention that spoiled brat of a “musician” who doesn’t even try to be subtle with his flirting.

Do they even know that you’ve committed yourself to be with him? And ONLY him?

DID YOU NOT TELL THEM?

Victor however decided to remain silent about this subject. To then remain silent and grumpy at most times.

You noticed it. It worried you. You tried to talk about it many times, but he always pushed the issue aside.

Until that one day when you showed up late to your date at Souvenir and your transportation turned out to be a certain car driven by a certain scientist.

You wanted to talk? Now he sure will give you the talk.

That’s the day Victor bursts with his anger, jealousy and even though he tries to hide it - sorrow.

You can’t help but see the pain dripping from his harsh words.

Your hand slowly comes to touch his cheek and he suddenly falls silent. Taken aback by the softness of caress your fingers treat him with.

“I love you, Victor. Only you. Forever.”

At that, your lips meet for the first time that night in the kiss twinned with unspoken hurt and true commitment.

The warmth of passion slowly grows in the pit of your stomach as he pulls you into his arms to press you against the comforting, wide plane of his chest.

[femalehumanoid]

Fluff Alphabet - Keevan

A ctivities – What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Keevan likes to spend an occasional evening simply talking to you. Let’s face it – the list of his psychological issues and traumas is a lengthy one, but he adamantly refuses to see a counselor, so that leaves the only person he can trust – you. He tells you stories from his past, ranging from funny and entertaining to tragic and horrible; for the most part you just listen, offering an appropriate comment here and there or squeezing his hand in encouragement. You have long since learned that tearing up and trying to hug him outright is a bad idea in such moments – he sees it as pity and closes up immediately, refusing to reveal anything remotely close to personal for weeks afterwards.

But your talks are not always about his past – in fact, your discussion topics are vastly varied. He’s lived many lifetimes and knows a lot, so he has an opinion on just about everything. He relishes finally being able to discuss his true thoughts without having to constantly look over his shoulder and filter which opinions are safe to share and which ones could be used against him.

As for other activities, Keevan’s a bit of a hedonist, so he wouldn’t say no to a day at a holosuite spa or a short trip to the pleasure planet together. Freedom from the Dominion didn’t make him any less of an asshole, so when you’re in public – say, lounging at the beach on Risa – he’ll occasionally make scathing (and, unfortunately, quite funny) observations about the passersby under his breath. You feel bad for snickering at the especially insulting comments, but ultimately don’t have the heart to tell him off because he looks so pleased with himself when he manages to make you laugh.

B eauty – What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Being a Vorta, Keevan is of course devoid of an aesthetic sense as such. That doesn’t mean that he can’t deduce by the reactions of others that you are beautiful – and boy, does it stroke his ego to see people eyeing you with appreciation (and him with jealousy) when you dress up and go out in public together.

While he can’t fully perceive your beauty visually, he admires your lips for their softness, your hands for their warmth, your eyes for the way you look at him.

On a more general note, what Keevan appreciates most about you is your behavior towards him. Sure, you have many other admirable qualities – you’re fun, and charming, and intelligent – but he’s met a plethora of fun, charming and intelligent people, and you’re the only one who truly loves and accepts him.

C omfort – how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Before he met you, Keevan had very little experience in comforting another person or providing genuine emotional support, so he’ll be somewhat stiff the first few times you show this type of vulnerability in front of him. But as soon as he’ll realize you’re looking to him for comfort, he’ll soften and open his arms for an embrace. Next thing you know, you’ll be sitting on his lap, telling him your woes and being sweet-talked to death.

By the way, if the reason for your distress is another person, you can rest assured that they would regret what they did – Keevan would make sure of it.

D reams -  How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Keevan is happy to leave the decision of where you’re going to live fully in your hands, but if you were to ask him, he’d recommend a smaller planet with comfortable climate and of little strategic value (so that it’d be left alone if another war were to erupt). But even though he’s mostly indifferent towards the finer details of your life together, it doesn’t mean that he’s not thinking about the future. The longer you are together, the clearer it becomes to him that one lifetime with you wouldn’t be enough. So, he starts to make discreet inquiries with his old contacts at various cloning facilities – is the Dominion technology suitable for cloning a human? How would one go about it? You won’t hear a word of it until Keevan knows for sure it’s possible, and one day he nonchalantly drops the offer on you like it’s not one of the most life-changing decisions with plenty of questionable ethical implications. In his mind, the decision has already been made, and he’s not above manipulating you into accepting if that means he gets to be with you forever.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or are they rather passive?

On the surface Keevan might appear passive, simply because he doesn’t expend energy caring about most things. You want to take an assignment on a different planet? Fine, he’ll come along - as long as you’ll have enough free time to devote to him, that is. You’re feeling frisky and want to explore your dominant side? Oh, he’s way into that.

In the past, when he was a servant of the Dominion, he had to constantly assert his dominance to keep his position, but nowadays he mostly reserves those impulses for the bedroom. However, there are some things he’s not willing to compromise on at all. You’re not going on that dangerous mission even if he has to tie you to the bed. That ex of yours that recently came into your life again and is behaving suspiciously flirty? Oh look, a week later they’ve decided to take a trip to another part of the galaxy and not return, totally of their own accord.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How is their fighting?

For both your sakes, let’s hope you’re more diplomatic than he is. Fighting with Keevan goes one of two ways – it’s either a nightmare because he knows exactly what to say to make it hurt, OR your heated exchange turns into an even more heated reconciliation and you both forget what you were fighting about in the first place.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Even if Keevan doesn’t often show it, he is grateful. He knows he’s not the easiest person to get along with, and he is aware of the effort you’re putting into the relationship and into helping him through his issues even when he’s being a total prick.

He does try to smooth his edges when he’s around you (around others, not so much) and takes note of the little things that make you happy – how you light up when he takes your hand, or when he remembers how you take your morning beverage – and consciously does it more often.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything? 

Keevan wouldn’t necessarily call them ‘secrets’, simply certain information that you don’t need to know. Some details of his past, for example – stories that could traumatize you – and why would he do that to a person he loves? You will rarely catch him lying to you outright, but some things he simply omits, like how he’s convinced your colleague to back off from that assignment you really wanted.

Also, he often has trouble sharing his emotions, partly because he’s been repressing them for so long that even he can’t get to the bottom of what he’s feeling at times.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Your relationship has transformed both of you in some respects. It might not have been smooth sailing, especially in the beginning, but it’s the healthiest relationship Keevan’s ever been in, and you’ve been gradually helping him heal and move on from a lot of trauma of his past. As for you, Keevan has taught you to be more assertive and you learned to accept the darker parts of your own psyche like you accepted the worst sides of his.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Keevan is extremely prone to jealousy, and he doesn’t bother to hide it. He likes to cultivate a reputation of a person who’s not to be crossed, and with his sadistic streak scaring people comes easily to him. That way, he can be reasonably sure no-one is going to dare take what’s his – namely, you. 

But if he catches you being too friendly (in his opinion) to, say, some bar patron, he won’t hesitate to come up and insert himself into the conversation, only to artfully insult the unfortunate person, smirking and possessively holding your hip all the while. If you think getting punched in the face by a huge Klingon for such behavior would deter him, you’d be dead wrong.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s a wonderful kisser – and very intense. Your first kiss happened in the middle of a heated argument, one moment you were getting in each other’s face, angrily flushing pink and aubergine respectfully, and the next you’re furiously kissing and knocking down the nearby furniture in an attempt to pin the other to the wall.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Not in a healthy way, I’m afraid. For the longest time, he would be in denial as to the nature of his feelings towards you. Lust, he could understand – but you seem to behave in a way that implies deeper feelings. Out of curiosity, he would let himself get closer to you, and after a while he’d discover with great surprise that he has developed feelings towards you as well. Weaknesses like that tended to get one killed in the Dominion (and that’s the best-case scenario), and despite the big changes after the war, that fear would still be fresh in his mind. But even regardless of that, getting seriously involved with someone would bring out a myriad of other fears and insecurities. What if it doesn’t work out? What if he opens up to you and that scares you off? What if he becomes attached and something happens to you? It’s safer not to get involved. Without explanation, he’d start avoiding you, thereby hurting your feelings, and one night when you’re crying, drinking wine and nursing your broken heart, you decide that enough is enough and you deserve an explanation. You march to his quarters and barge in as soon as the doors slide open, to Keevan’s astonishment and slight indignation (since when are you so bold?). After that, there’s a lot of shouting, finger pointing and angry confessions, followed by passionate kissing. The next morning, you’d hear a whisper that sounds a lot like ‘I love you’ while you’re still half-asleep in his bed, but you’re not sure if that really happened or if you dreamt it.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

If you want to get married, you’re going to have to explain to him the significance of that ritual because Keevan doesn’t really understand why you need to involve the government, or even worse – god – in your personal affairs. Although your explanation won’t likely change his mind on the matter, if he sees that you really, really want to get married, he’ll concede. But under no circumstances will Keevan agree to a religious ceremony of any sort – his experiences with gods (i.e. the Founders) have embittered him to any form of religion, so he’ll never sully the matter of such intimacy and importance as your union with mentions of any god, be they real or imaginary.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Pet, darling, sweet thing. Princess, in certain situations (😉). He starts out using the nicknames sarcastically, but at some point it becomes one of his ways to show genuine affection towards you.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious to others? How do they express their feelings?

At first, Keevan in love seems even more aloof than usual. His thoughts keep returning to you, thinking and overthinking everything, imagining all the ways your relationship could go wrong and even more ways it could go right.

The others truly start to notice the changes in his behavior only when he’s with you. His movements gain a bit more grace and sensuality, he doesn’t pass up an opportunity to make a clever snarky comment where he otherwise wouldn’t have bothered. He subtly puts himself in your personal space and holds your gaze for meaningful lengths of time. In other words, he is infatuated with you, which is obvious to everyone present.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

PDA? Yes, please! Keevan’s displays of affection border on exhibitionistic. If you’re too embarrassed, he’ll tone it down, of course - but not by much, so you might as well forget about having any shame at all when he’s around. While he doesn’t tend to be too clingy in public, he thinks nothing of groping your ass if the mood strikes him, undressing you with his eyes or whispering suggestively into your ear and making you blush. Bragging about you and showing you off is par for the course.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship

Keevan has an uncanny ability to stay level-headed in dangerous situations, and years of serving as a field supervisor have taught him to always have a plan B, C and ideally ten more, just in case. So if anything happens, you can rely on him to get you both out of trouble.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative? 

While not romantic in a classical sense, Keevan does try to keep you happy in his own way. He prefers to hide the true amount of effort he puts into the seemingly little things he’s doing for you – what it’s like to hear the whispers about his race when you’re on a date on a Federation planet, or how draining it is to socialize with your friends (you have to threaten not to talk to him for a week if he doesn’t behave civilly).

Aside from that, Keevan likes to make an occasional grand gesture to impress you – there’s nothing he loves more than seeing the awe and admiration in your eyes and hearing you praise him. Basically, flattery will get you anywhere with this Vorta.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He knows that you’re talented enough to excel at anything you put your mind to. If you want to advance your career, he can offer you plenty of useful (if sometimes unethical) advice on how to do that quickly. But if you want him to actually do something to help, you’re going to have to ask veeery nicely. In rare cases he does help without being asked - but don’t get used to it.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Over the iterations, Keevan was known to be, shall we say, adventurous, so there isn’t much that is truly new to him. The only thing that’s actually novel is the significance of the relationship. Did he ever wake up in bed with an attractive stranger? Sure, many times. Had he ever woken up next to the person he loves? You are the first. He wants to relish every new thing he gets to experience with you, so he isn’t in a hurry to try out everything all at once.

U nderstanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Keevan isn’t terribly empathetic, but he can read the cues pretty well if he wants to – a skill that is essential for any Vorta to acquire if they want to survive past their first iteration. For all his supposed indifference, Keevan has learned a lot about you pretty early on after you’ve first met, and if you weren’t so love-struck, you’d have probably found it suspicious. At times, it can be irritating how well he knows you, especially when he’s acting smug about it.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Once upon a time, Keevan had a career, and a rather successful one at that. Unfortunately, it was a career in a fascistic interstellar empire serving merciless gods – this kind of thing gets you disillusioned sooner rather than later. Still, his work had its moments, and having left the Dominion he had been missing the opportunity to apply himself.

But the freedom has granted him a choice – for the first time, he could decide what he wants to do. That freedom is just as important to him as your relationship, and the fact that you’re supporting him and helping him discover the new possibilities means more to Keevan than you can possibly imagine.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Keevan is a very tactile person by nature, which may come as a surprise because due to his past he’s had to learn to survive without closeness. At the earlier stages of your relationship he’d be pretty wary of platonic affectionate gestures, but as he becomes more comfortable around you, you’ll notice the casual touches becoming more frequent – he’d put his chin on your shoulder from behind to see what you’re reading on your PADD, thoughtfully trace your brow with his finger or play with your hair. Also, good luck trying to get out of bed without waking him – if you try to wriggle out of his embrace, he’ll only tighten his arms around you and mumble something unintelligible in Vortawa.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

By making everyone around him miserable. By moping around in your quarters and passive-aggressively destroying the knickknacks on your shelves (and later claiming that it was an accident).

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Oh yes. Great, borderline creepy length. Out of the two of you, you are the only one who actually has morals (and the longer you are with Keevan, the more the lines will start to blur), so he won’t have any qualms doing whatever needs to be done for your relationship. The only thing that could give him pause is if he knows you might not forgive him for doing something particularly amoral - but on the other hand, what you don’t know won’t hurt you.

. ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

dedicated to the wonderful @stay-neurotic , the originator of Keevan thirst on tumblr dot com

[theonceoverthinker]

I don’t know what your rules are for these so I apologize in advance but I lowkey just,,like if there was a reading version binged watched I did that with your fair game hcs. I just couldn’t stop myself. Tho I had question.How do you view clovers semblance and like his history with it? I’ve seen a lot with how he never got credit because of it but I also read a really interesting one where his good luck was only for him. Meaning if he got lucky because others got hurt,it would work out.Thoughts?

119. The one where Jenna gives this anon a semb-CHANCE!

First off, thank you for your patience throughout these many, many months as well as your binge read of my HC’s! When people do that and tell me, it just lights up my world! Second, I want to apologize for how long this took. I am very sorry for this extended wait for this HC. Honestly, these HCs are seldom planned, and sometimes, what you want to write and what your mind is letting you write are vastly different things. But with today’s theme lining up with this ask and given that I had more time today to dedicate to it, I wanted to try to finally deliver it onto you in order to make up for the wait! Btw, tagging @fair-game-week !

With that all out of the way, let’s get to it!

Part of why this HC was so difficult to write comes down to the fact that there are so many great already existing HC’s about Clover’s relationship to his semblance, and I love them all, and I wanted to create a take that didn’t feel like it completely copied off someone else, and that I could add enough of my own spin to it. 

I love crying at ones where Clover holds resentment towards his semblances – ones where Clover’s luck only applies to him and may have let him survive in circumstances where his family and friends could not, ones where Clover’s had to fight for credit for his every victory on the basis of his own merits, ones where his team neglected his well being because of his semblance, and others of that ilk!

But I also love ones where Clover is just a well-adjusted adult who had a decent family life, and was able to figure out how to best handle a very fortunate, albeit situationally tricky, semblance because while it’s very simple, it allows for complexity to come to Clover as he Qrow compare their incredibly different lives. There’s compelling drama there, too.

Ultimately, though, here’s what I landed on…which you can see under the cut because this ran long!

I think Clover stumbled upon his semblance at a relatively young age (10, maybe). When it happened, things were good for the first few years. Those in his life embraced his semblance, and he was happy. After all, even if his semblance lacked control like Qrow’s did, he didn’t really have enemies who would benefit from good luck at his expense, so there wasn’t all that much negative to deal with.

But then somewhere around age 13-16, things changed. Clover’s a very talented, smart, and chipper guy, and I think that while Clover was never a jerk about his semblance (Or at least not to any harmful degree), there were a lot of teenagers that would be intimidated by someone who seemed so perfect (I know I’d have been back then – heck, jealousy is something I’m still working on). So when he was a teenager, some jerk in his class brought up the idea that Clover’s semblance was the reason for all his successes after one too many of Clover’s accomplishments made them jealous. And because high school (Or Atlas’ equivalent of high school) is literal hell, that sentiment quickly spread. 

From there, suddenly no one held positive feelings towards his semblance. His peers were no longer all that impressed with his accomplishments. Teachers gave him dirty looks after he scored well on a test the rest of his classmates did poorly on. Coaches felt reluctant to feature Clover in sports. 

But no one thought more negatively about Clover’s semblance than Clover himself. Heck, some harsh realities of Clover’s life that he never thought too hard on or ever thought to blame his semblance for might come to light. For a while, he was ashamed of his semblance, and renounced it at every turn. It’s possible he sabotaged or handicapped himself to find some way of showing those around him that he could fail, and that his successes were his own. But it didn’t work. 

Clover started to lose hope that anyone would trust him to be anything more than just the product of a not-so-lucky lucky semblance, and it seemed like all hope for a successful life  was truly his was gone (Also, note to self: Make a Clover and Weiss’ friendship HC one of these days). He began to believe that as long as he had his semblance holding him back, any dream that he could dare to want for himself would never be a reality. 

One day though, something happened to his perspective – the Atlesian Military. I don’t really know how to say this in any way that softens the blow, but I feel like – in keeping with RWBY’s theme of the military being…in need of reforms, to say the least – Clover was basically propaganda’d into not only joining it, but liking his semblance. Just like it was able to appeal to Winter, the girl who desperately wanted an escape from her horrible and powerful father, it was able to appeal to the boy with semblance trust issues by presenting him with a very specific image. That was one of an organization that only allowed those who entered it to rise through the ranks on the basis of their own merits while also not being pressured to hate himself over the benefits that his semblance provided him with because whatever he did would be for the public good, and that’s something that really stuck with Clover. It’s entirely possible that James was one of the recruiters that inspired him too, thus making more sense of the “I trust James with my life” sentiment than 7X12 could’ve ever hoped to have. XD 

From then on, Clover’s resolve on his situation took on a new shape, one that didn’t dismiss his semblance, but allowed for him to live with it. He ignored his bullies and those wary of his true abilities, and instead took pride in the now dream job he aspired to have in the military and the belief that those he had met seemed to have in him. And with that new lack of cares given, Clover was able to reignite his own love for his semblance as well as his confidence that his accomplishments were his own even with it, allowing him the strength and freedom needed to learn to better handle and channel his semblance. 

Now, when Clover left the military, he definitely had to confront his insecurities over his semblance again because he needed to define that relationship without the military there as a means to bridge that gap. 

And I think this is where Qrow comes in, pointing out (In much less sappy terms than I’m about to use) how Clover’s skills still can’t only be contributed to his semblance and those in his life know that, and that while perhaps his semblance did play a part in some ethically precarious circumstances, but it was he who made the decision to leave at the end of the day and strive for something better for both himself and the world at large. Clover absolutely calls Qrow his lucky charm afterwards, and flirting and touching hands and shoulders ensue as the extended team goes to their next location.

…WOW, was that a lot! Fair Game Week, you’ve met your match! XD

Tagging @homokinetic @skybird13 @whipped4qrow @mooksie01 @luck-of-the-caw @xwildangel @solitude-of-stars @magneto-is-neato @o0nashipear0o @unfairgamey @doctorrwby @clover-and-co @megan-atthedisco @wash-my-brain @bisexualdisasterqrow @baelonthebrave @doubledexterity @rwby-things-i-guess @atlas-heartthrob @the-answer-was-bi-klance @compoterie @thuskindlyiboop @oceansquid @transdemion @deltastream21 @mimiori @xya-hunter @delta-altair @genderfluidturtle @roman-torchtwink @subatomictealeaves @drbtinglecannon @saphiralunaris @pretentiouskneecaps @lonelybeep @lemonflavoredpanicattacks

Want to be tagged in future Fair Game HC’s? Of course, you do! So, send me a reply, PM, or ask to be added, and I’ll grant your greatest wish! XD

[imjustyouraveragenoone]

why u sucked

since my mind keeps replaying all the reasons u were perfect, here are the reasons u were fucking far from it.

1. ur ex drama. u dumped me for ur ex, then u realized that she was not right for u so u hit me up again. u got jealous that ur best friend was hitting me up and made sure to put an end to that really fast by making moves on me while u were still w ur ex. then u talked to me for a good period to follow thru on ur own ego problems and then proceeded to hook up w ur ex. who the actual fuck does this. stick to ONE u absolute manwhore. if u were so in love with ur ex why would u flirt with me while u guys were together, if u were so in love with me why would u hook up with her while we were talking. u literally just dont care about anyone but ur motherfucking self and it took me way too long to realize it, it took me my literal parents having to split us up for me to see the damage u did. 

2. u never made any effort to come see me. everything was on ur schedule, if u didnt want to hang out with me, u would go off. if u were horny, u would stay on. no explanations needed. if u felt like opening up, u would. otherwise, just pictures of ur eyebrow. i was constantly the one running around in circles trying to make this work. i decided to come see u in the morning, i would be the one who would come stand by ur friends at the end of the day, u never would fucking ask me to. unless, of course, it was whether u could come over to fuck. then, you would ask without any hesitation and beg and plead and do everything in ur power to make it work. don’t think i ever saw that effort in any other aspect of our relationship, hmmmmmm. no sentimental gifts or cute texts. u literally did the bare minimum and for some fucking reason i idealized u for it. mostly because i thought that most girls wouldnt even be lucky enough to get the bare minimum from u, and im prolly right. like u fucked me up SO BAD that one day u were telling me abt some girl u ghosted and my fUCKED UP MIND ACTUALLY WENT “WOW I MUST BE SPECIAL SINCE HE NEVER GHOSTED ME. MUST MEAN THAT HE ACTUALLY LOVES ME.” TF??????????????????????? mental issues. 

3. u literally sent me essays about not trusting me and all this shit that made me think that u were breaking up with me the DAY of my sat and then claimed u forgot i had to take it that day. i woke up in such a panic thinking that u were trying to dump me the day of the most important test of my literal life. why the fuck would anyone do that. why. i knew every date of ur physics tests, i knew what was going on in ur life, even finding out things from ur sister because i wanted to know. u just didnt even care at all. like ik u prolly actually did forget but if i was even important to u u would not of ever forgot in the first place. 

4. the constant dumping. dude, if ur just gonna constantly pull that shit for u to fulfill some insecurity in ur head and make u feel like u have the power in the relationship, u need help. im sorry that all ur exes were downright obsessed with u and u never had to wonder if u were the one who cared less in the relationship, but just because i didnt do that doesnt mean that u can just keep tryna dump me to affirm ur power struggles. 

5. blaming ur own shortcomings on ur broken past. i dont doubt it, but letting ur past define u is not taking u anywhere and ur just gonna end up stuck in ur own cycle of not dealing with ur problems.

6. the literal lack of any kind of ambition, drive and hard work ethic. u work hard to appear cool, to get girls, to get drugs, to do all this unnecessary shit, why u cant put that effort into simple homework assignments so ur not FAILING a class, i will never know. 

7. u had every right to get mad at me for being friends with ishan or whatever but i dont fucking think i have ever called u out for being best friends with every single ex u have ever had in fact i trust u so much i dont care that u spend literally 90% of ur time with at least one girl that u have had history with whether its roopa, khushi, and many more that i havent heard abt yet.

8. u hooked up w roopa. bruh. thats just disgusting and u know it. 

9. u always came for ME about hearing things from other ppl abt what i was up to. UM. UM??????? do u KNOW the shit i heard about u but didnt even confront u because i trusted u THAT much. lmaoooooo looking back u were a fucking clown for even bringing up that argument. sure, i was far from perfect and i made some questionable choices, but bruh so did YOU. 

10. u rlly tried to hit it without a condom. are u fucking retarded. imagine if i got pregnant. forget my parents literally kicking me out. imagine the atrocity of my kids having YOU as a father. nightmare shit..

11. u were so fucking emotionally distant that i literally took every small BARE MINIMUM nice thing u did and fucking RAN with it. looking back its so clear that u rlly didnt do anything special, u didnt say anything special, u did not do anything to prove u loved me. all u were good at was empty words to string me on because we both know that saying shit takes no effort and ur all about that no effort lifestyle. like now that im thinking about it..... what have u done for me? what have u done? said i love you, texted me a shit ton when u were horny, said a bunch of future shit and made me laugh. wow u fulfilled the basic requirements of a relationship, and since u have a nice little reputation for being an asshole, i took that as a WOW HE MUST RLLY LOVE ME. thats actually so sad that i lowered my standards THAT much just so that i could be with u.

12. u made me cry and feel so low for so much of the relationship and i rlly dont understand why i thought we were so perfect. the lows we had were downright unacceptable and u never were able to truly put ur pride aside to tell me how u felt about me besides when we were fighting or u felt like u were losing me and thats how i know that the love we had mightve been genuine or whatever, but its not the love i deserve. 

7 months wasted, lowkey grateful my parents pulled me outta that shit bc i never would have had the mental strength to do it and we prolly woudlve ended up breaking up in like a few months bc u hooked up w some unc charlotte hoe or something. yikes. what u have been up to post-relationship is neither my business nor something i have a right to be upset about so im not gonna go off on u for that because i rlly dont have the mental space to care abt what ur up to now. 

my next lover better be someone who isnt fucking scared to show that they care about me, someone that respects me, someone that isnt selfish and obsessed with using girls to fill their own shortcomings. love shouldnt be a constant power struggle and i should never have to wonder whats going on in ur life. ur supposed to KNOW what ur boyfriend is up to. its part of a relationship. so fuck u for making me drop my standards to such comical levels. 

[ramenfallsbutnotudon]

Riverdale Raw Thoughts

Binge watched Riverdale last night as my Netflix membership for the month was expiring. (Not renewing again until early November to watch S2 The Crown and other stuff I’m waiting on) - Like I literally stayed up from 9 pm to 6 pm this morning watching the show straight and then went to bed and woke up at noon.

Cheesy dialogue aside, it was pretty great for what it was.

But it suffered from the same thing Scream Queens did - interesting core plot, but cheesy cringy writing and too many pop culture references to pander to their target audience demographic (I’m assuming 18-34)

Wishy-washy social commentary: 

FP Jones ain’t shit but Jughead has a cute beenie and is sensitive so he’s a-okay.

 Alice Cooper grew up on the “wrong side of the tracks” but married well so now she’s determined to keep south side trash out by joining the “neighborhood watch” and using her white woman hood, white feminism and ‘come-uppance’ privilage to publish edgy think pieces.

Betty Cooper has some pent up rage that is sorta overlooked because it was “for good” (doing it for the girls and trying to get revenge for Polly - and because the guy was Black, thinly veiled anti-blackness) until it isn’t overlooked but simply mentioned . Then she initally starts using Jughead and Jughead calls it out and she kind of agrees and says she has “darkness” in her - until something happens again and she decides to “let the darkness out” and be selfish and blame it on something else again.

Jughead getting dealt a piss poor hand, being okay at the South Side school (he’s a gang member - arguably gang leader or liutenant’s son...of course he’s fine jesus fucking christ Riverdale) until the trio of good show up to...talk to him and comfort him? and they realize he’s fine.

Betty making a white feminist speech about the town needing to do better because yes although her boyfriend’s dad is a Serpent he’s a good person and although her parents told her to shut her mouth she feels it’s the right thing to do. [She actually did not care about the Serpents before and her buds Veronica and Kevin  heckled them during the last drive in movie screening.but whatevs] After the speech she has no solution or propsed ways the town can “do better” and there’s this awkward silence and everyone’s favorite punching bag has to clap it up so people blindy accept that lackluster speech. (I don’t expect a teenage girl to fix the towns problems but if you wanted to tackle the issue and get people talking shouldnt’t you also have some thoughts other than people not being mean to your boyfriend?)

Jughead not having shit and the gang seeing him enter the trailer with a girl and (maybe wanting to keep a pg 13 rating) stop him before their steamy make out session leads to something more give him a jacket to become a serpent and Betty is angry that he’s trying to survive and embracing the gang life that he’s essentially grown up around and will be surrounded by until he comes of age.

Archie’s dad’s forhead. my god. not social commentary but damn it bugged me.

Archie and his hottie teacher banging without impuity and her being allowed to quietly leave after obviously being a predator and dangerous person. (did they ever give her back her gun??? IS that what Alice uses when Hal breaks back in? Did Hal ever mention he stole the evidence to the sheriff even after it came to light FP was innocent?)

Archie wanting the pussy cat’s to use his song so he manipulates one of the band members (Valerie), dates her, uses their connections, ignores her, and when she dumps him and tells him why he isn’t shit he somehow doesn’t get it.

Valerie being acceptable to date because she has blue eyes and light skin but she’s rarely heard from when she’s no longer helping archie’s ‘music career’ but simply dating him.

Archie playing along with Cheryl’s crazy ass family “for his music” as an excuse to be selfish.

Archie trying to be a tortured soul when his dad point blank asked him why he’s lying if he wants music that’s cool it’s just unstable; someone else (Veronica I think?) kind of saying why are you being like this no one is making you choose between Football and music; someone bringing up he was only music when he was banging his hottie teacher; the football team heckles him once but they seen he’s Troy Bolton & they accepted him - everyone fucking accepted him but himself like christ and he spent the whole season searching for validation of his self worth in women and girls.

Just Archie I mean christ lmfao. You don’t like Betty, You make out with Veronica, you decide your really into your hottie music teacher and manipulate her into music lessons (although she manipulated the hell out of him as well), when your dad starts getting a boner for her you try to cut contact with her short, people find out, you decide the pussy cats are your answer, they explain they are black and because of the culture they have had to fight hard and they can’t have a white man just step in and run shit, archie the white man steps in and runs shit, archie breaks them up, Archie says he can’t perform alone and manipulates Valerie playing on her insecurities to leave the band, archie decides “he was wrong” and Veronica decides to help him, he ditches Veronica because he looked within himself and realized he wasn’t shit, he patronizes jughead and only resumes their rocky friendship because he wanted him to keep the secret about him banging their hottie teacher, he’s semi jealous that jughead is dating Betty, archie then really wants Veronica and wants to make sure Betty isn’t jealous. He keeps playing the hero...something which probably got his dad killed at the end - If there’s a s2 I haven’t seen it yet)

Veronica Lodge is hella famous by name and it’s a small town everyone knows who she is and she even points out that she expected more people to talk to her and acknowledge her divine presence but Kevin is like “lol you got overshadowed by another rich person’s death” /s but... Ethel Muggs truly has no fucking idea who she is? No incling? No rumors? Is she really that much of a rock-dweller?

The whole incest baby thing....the josef mengele joke...the fact that Jason and Cheryl were twins.....the eugenics joke when Cheryl’s face says them damn well know they practice eugenics and ethic breeding and need to keep up the “blossom apperance” (Her dad’s red wigs, using Archie as a stand-in for Jason...but I digress -  just touch on the topic to sound edgy and draw controversy but leave it shallow eh?)

The whole “lol let’s ship our pregnant daughter away to a literal convent in 2017 because I was shipped to a convent in the late 80′s early 90′s- but why is she mad at me I love her I’d never do anything to hurt her like ambushing her and having her dragged away against her will as an underage expecting teenager lol”

Hyping big bad black football player up to fuck shit up at Archie’s party and in reality he kinda did...nothing? lmao  (a la Jughead’s aminous V.O. about “no one expected what happened at that party” or some shit )

The whole “the sins of the father don’t or shouldn’t reflect on the daughter” but Veronica gets away scott free essentially and Cheryl literally loses everything because I mean fuck those Blossoms amirite lololol /S

Archie looked like Jason, got his number initially before retiring it (lol kind of insensitive to have his doppleganger become team captain for plot purposes later on ) and the Blossoms essentially used him because he mirrored Jason at the tapping ceremony.

The name Hermione Lodge lmfao she’s not old enough for the HP book reading mom boom.

Hermione Lodge and Hiram Lodge’s intials on that stupid fucking bag.

Veronica being rich and intelligent but her morals making her real fucking dumb. (I wanna go home but I also wanna coddle everyone my daddy hurt but I still wanna be rich lol but I’m implicating my mom and she’s literally begging and pleading me to stop and having crying fits but lol justice and my chanel bags hahaha and I’m gonna go clubbing and shopping even though my mom is working as a waitress and flirting with her old hs boyfriend to secure a job so we can continue to float and not drown and not be taken down by the families my dad hurt lololol omg archie is a hot prince harry hipster ginger amirite lololol the met gala lalala rich girl things new york lol)

The whole plot demand that Veronica win the impromptu HBIC dance off when big red Cheryl actually killed that shit and Veronica danced like a fucking robot.

ARCHIE HURT HIS HAND PLAYING FOOTBALL AND CRACKING THICK ICE WITH HIS BARE BLOODY KNUCKLES HOW DOES THE GINGER WONDER STILL HAVE USE OF THAT HAND ? The body heals but it’s never the same after repeated exposed trama’s to the same area in a short period of time.

.....I’ve ranted enough about this and I didn’t even mean to.

The last two episodes seemed to have been steamrolled for the sake up tying up loose ends to create a cliffhanger for another season.

Again, good for what it was....but... I truly enjoyed that the real villian was capitalism. Good job millenials.

 (not sarcasm. Capitlaism destroyed Jughead’s future a la his father FP and Fred Andrews - The Coopers and the Blossoms - Josie McCoy’s mom - “Criminal” capitalism Hiram Lodge ruining his associates lives, the small town not working for everyone -  Archie’s mom moving (after seperation), Jughead’s mom moving, Veronica’s mom moving back because she can survive in their economy on the nest money Hiram left....) etc etc

These small cosy “uppercrust white” town just isn’t safe anymore.

I mean have you seen that new negro mayor? That wealthy latina woman and her daughter?That negro coach and his star player son?

Remember - without Capitalism there is no social inequality, systematic racism, white supremacy, classism, etc etc

(also my personal issues with one of the actors colored this a bit biased....but on how things went it was cool.)

Also our culture has a real hardon for the 1950s eh? I know it’s based on the Archie Comics but Stranger Things, 13 Reasons Why...other media where we’re going for the small town america aesthetic and “traditional values” and sprinkling in some social issues and people of color for kicks.

On to season 2 I guess lol.

Don’t put too much stock into my raw thoughts, I just think shows (especially in our current political climate and reality) should commit to what they really want.

[insecure-hbo-recaps]

hella questions

Previously on Insecure: A bunch of bad dates, missing Lawrence, trifling Lawrence, failed "get my ex back" party, Molly is way underpaid. And two minutes of ex sex.

"Y'all fucked?" is the incredulity that welcomes us to the second episode of the season. I can't decide if I love or hate that Issa has one of those old school ugly wooden entertainment center things that I'm sure we ALL had growing up.

Issa is also wearing a hoodie with Harriet Tubman on it... though I can't figure out what the two pictures on her wall are. Molly wants to know who initiated the sex and whether they've spoken since. They aren't really in any better place, and Molly doesn't find this encouraging. Issa is grasping at straws. Molly asks whether it was a getting back together fuck or a "fuck you" fuck. Hmmm. As someone who recently had sex with her ex that she's still in love with... it was definitely neither lol. It was... well, actually, it was a “I put up this picture of me kissing another dude as my facebook profile pic so that everyone could stop feeling sorry for me for being single, but you think I moved on and am dating someone else and don't love your trifling ass anymore and you got the nerve to have a jealous streak" kind of a fuck. This fool asked me like four times "so what's new with you?" As if I would tell if it WAS true, lol. Anyway, the sex between Lawrence and Issa would fall in a similar category - dudes being in their insecure ass feelings but STILL not trying to give you the respect you deserve.

Issa calls the sex "nebulous." Nebulous: unclear, vague, or ill defined. Molly is wary of drawing any conclusions based on this murky outcome, but Issa brightly tries to convince herself the sex means something good. Idk, girl. I don't feel like that. I'm not even going to delude myself that way.

Lawrence is in the gym, because in case you haven't noticed, he ain't a capn crunch eating white socks scrub no more. He starts to text Issa that he made things weird and didn't plan for it to happen, but thinks better of it and deletes it.

Meanwhile, Molly did stick with her therapist and is at a second session. Far from how close mouthed she had been before, she is ranting energetically about her stronger work ethic and going above and beyond but still being underpaid. Honestly, this is why I just solve this issue by half assing everything at work. I'm never going above and beyond. I will ALWAYS be a solid 3/4 at annual performance review time. Fuck your five star review. This job don't give a fuck about me and I don't give a fuck about y'all. And when the pay stops being enough, my resume makes it easy for me to bounce and renegotiate a new salary. But Molly is not interested in conceding defeat and can't understand why she can't figure out a way to get into the all boy's club. The therapist points out that Molly is "shoulding" all over herself. And if you watch this show, you've seen Sex and the City, so we don't need to break down the logistics of this.

The therapist tries to tell Molly she's living in the reality she thinks she should have, not the one she does have. Molly, naturally, doesn't understand what she's saying. The therapist tells her that there are certain standards levied at black women - and let's take the time to point out the difference here... in the past, the standards of a black woman were to singlehandedly manage a household and all of its financial and functional needs, put yourself aside and be a supporting force for everyone else in your life, and maybe you might find a man but how can you expect that, and you shouldn't, because it's too hard, and well, if you can't find one, maybe nice Willie the janitor will be there for you and don't be thinking bout no law degree. That shit ain't the move no more. These days the perfect standards of being a black woman are all about getting your 2013 self titled album Beyonce on - fulfilled in yourself and your life choices and not subscribing to any ideology that says you can't be enough or what you have to offer isn't valuable... with a slice of "even if no one else can see my value, I know it far exceeds that of many of those around me." Later for settling. Later for accepting scraps. But now that opens the door to a battle that's twice as hard, choosing to except the ways in which you are exceptional, in a world that is not willing to agree with you purely because... you are a black woman.

The therapist asks Molly if she would be open to a life that doesn't look like the one she thinks she "should" have. Molly isn't ready to grapple with that idea, and demurs on scheduling the next session. See what I'm saying? Bitches afraid to look at themselves.

Gallery opening. Which, again, is a little too close to Sex and the City for me, but I don't know what y'all be doing in California or New York. Gallery openings ain't a thing in Chicago. The four of them are talking about Issa's party. Tiffany is being annoyingly bougie as usual, Kelli is only mildly extra. I don't... I don't know what to say about these outfits.

I fully respect everything Insecure is doing. But I'd be a damn lie if I said... it was very... right, I suppose. It wouldn't be the route I'd take if it were my show, I guess is what I'd say. They are trying to decide plans for the weekend but Issa doesn't want to go out clubbing - she thinks sleeping with Lawrene means a reunion is imminent so she can't really be going out anymore. Tiffany decides to empathize and shares that her gay husband lived in a hotel for basically half a year while they were going through something. "The point is, even perfect couples have problems," Tiffany says, and I'm not looking forward to the season where they try to humanize Tiffany by showing she hides behind all this "perfect" bullshit to cover up the fact that she is miserably depressed and hates herself. I accidentally paused at a moment that captures this sentiment:

Issa thinks she just needs to give Lawrence time to forgive her; he can't just walk away from five years like that. Every single time I've thought I offered something so incredibly unique to a man he'd be stupid to walk away from it, I was patently, 100% wrong. Kelli points out that for 2 of those years his bum ass mooched off on her couch and Issa should move on. Issa wants to work it out. But... really? Why would Issa want to still be with Lawrence? She wasn't happy with him, that's why she cheated in the first place. And I'm not buying that she saw the error of her ways and truly wants the life they had together in the end. More like being single is shit, especially when you've had someone as your counterpart for a significant chunk of time, and rather than adjusting to something new it's easier and more comfortable to want back what you had.

Kelli lets it slip that Lawrence is with someone knew, which Tiffany was also aware of. They know who she is and everything, but Issa claims she doesn't want to know. In the two seconds it takes to decry that claim, Molly finds Tasha's instagram profile. Tiffany offers some friendly shit-talking ("why does she only speak in emojis?") and Kelli says she looks like a stripper. Issa pretends like she doesn't want to know who she is.

Gallery bathroom. While Issa is doing her "go high or go low?" mirror freestyle, I am just mesmerized by her crown-mimicking braidout. Like. I wouldn't wear it because I couldn't pull it off, but it is fascinating on her. She decides going the high road is overrated, and when Molly comes to check on her, Issa snaps, "pull that bitch up!" The soundtrack that kicks in at that moment - bass heavy intoning "fuck that nigga" - pulls all of us back on the thrones we sometimes forget but need always to occupy.

The next day. For reasons that are unclear, Issa stops by Chad's apartment looking for Lawrence. Chad remarks on her glow up approvingly, which Issa awkwardly plays off. They have awkward small tight for a bit before Issa asks for Lawrence. Chad doesn't want to say where he really is, and if I had the skills/patience to make gifs, I'd insert one here now of the coy way he then slups on the straw of his beet juice. As it is, Issa concedes defeat and decides to leave.

It turns out Lawrence is at Tasha's, watching Defamation. I know that's not the name of their in-series show, but I can't be bothered to find out what it was, so I'm just going to call it the same as DWP's. Tasha is into it while Lawrence is aloof, and the thing that makes *me* most uncomfortable about Tasha - as stated, I do not buy into the thotty because she is traditional narrative - is her liking Real Housewives-y television and occupying that "black women in Atlanta" sort of social space. I do fully approve of her around the way girl oversized gold hoops.

Lawrence says he has things on his mind and Tasha, again refreshingly casually, asks whether he wants to talk about it. She gets a text from her mom, informing her about a family barbecue. She takes a moment and hints about whether or not Lawrence would like to come. Rather than pretend to be oblivious, Lawrence actually makes a noise like he acknowledges this time that he knows this would mean something, and Tasha, sensing his hesitation, immediately walks the invitation back. Lawrence decides to just drop that he slept with his ex. He tries to explain why it happens and says he just wants to be honest, and doesn't know what it means. Hmm. I don't know at this point in their relationship how big a deal this should be, so Tasha's measured response of "I think you need to go" is about level and appropriate. Oh MAYNE, she got that black glass and gold accented vanity mirror that I'm sure was a pattern we ALL had in our moms' bedrooms at some point.

Dunes. Issa is getting ready for bed, trying to resist looking up Tasha. Of course she isn't able to manage it, and pulls up Tasha's instagram.

Law firm. Molly rolls up on the front desk lady and they exchange pleasantries and niceties. Molly wants to know about a hockey game the bosses are going to. She is planning to shoot her shot and try to ingratiate herself into the "boy's club." "I'm scared of you," the front desk lady says neutrally, grinning and turning back to her computer.

Issa's boring after school job. The principle is prejudiced against latinos, Frieda doesn't like it, Issa is tone deaf. Blah blah blah.

So how do we feel about Chad's suit? Apparently he had to wait outside for Lawrence to express his disbelief that Lawrence told Tasha about Issa. Uh, how did he find out about that? lol. Lawrence says he couldn't lie about it because he's "not dirty like that." Chad, and all of us:

Seriously, what's up with Lawrence? He is delusional about his capacity for being a good dude. Which, to be perfectly frank with you, is not very surprising to me for a guy who could mooch off his girlfriend for two years and then be totally blindsided with her being dissatisfied and unhappy in the relationship. Lawrence can't believe he slept with Issa, thinking he was once step out the door away. Chad is overall not surprised that Lawrence went back to being a "John Legend ass nigga."

Apparently they are going to check out a new apartment for Lawrence. Why does Chad need to be there for that? Chad mentions that Issa came by looking for him, acknowledging her glow up: "did she always look like that?"

The broker is a black woman in an off white pantsuit. You know how sometimes you'll be watching white tv and you never see any black people until you need a bus driver or a maid or a nurse or some other menial service person? Insecure does this in reverse where most of the roles of businesspeople in the community are held by black women, which is truer to life. Anyway, she's Patty from ABG. The apartment seems to have disturbingly pale sea green walls which I would not be happy with. I'd feel like my entire apartment is a bloody bathroom from a scary movie. That's the exact same shade of sea foam green blue.

They like the apartment. It's pretty big. I know nothing about Los Angeles real estate but I assume it's extremely expensive. Lawrence is hesitant to commit, possibly because he wants an invite back to the Dunes. Who knows, the scene doesn't elaborate.

High School. Frieda is mad about Principal Gaines not caring about the latino students. She calls it a "racist joke" he made. Issa doesn't care, and Frieda's Clueless White Person rambling doesn't help. They arrive to the after school program to find it full of students. Gaines hooked them up with kids. Issa is thrilled but Frieda is concerned about the lack of latino students.

Molly is riding an escalator somewhere. Where ya going, Molly? Ooooh... eeeee... she's making the bold but fairly ill considered decision to try to rub elbows with the boys club in the box seats for a hockey game.

I don't begrudge Molly attempting to shoot her shot, but there have got to be more... shall we say organic ways for her to attempt it. We look like assholes popping up in entirely the wrong context like this. Now I'm having a flashback to an ill advised friendship with an overweight white woman who, time would reveal, primarily wanted to use me to get an in into black spaces where she could meet black men. But never fear, her black female friends were just as corny and thirsty: her black counterpart was this overweight chick who went out of her way to assure all of us how much she loved hockey and when she talked about basketball she made sure to only talk about the two or three white players on our home team. The thirst was real and it went in both directions, and that is tonight's anecdote on why I make very little effort to make female friends as an adult.

Back at the Dunes, Issa cannot resist the allure of her phone, holding the secrets as it does to Tasha's insta. Of course she eventually caves and we are treated to this snap filtered gem:

Doing the most. But followed up by this:

Loving the wig. Issa throws the phone down pretending she doesn't care, going back to her book.

Back at the hockey game, Molly's attempts to bond with middle aged white men is typically embarrassing. They're drinking shitty beer, Stella Artois as far as I can tell? Molly takes a moment then decides to shoot her shot, socially approaching her boss. He's wearing a ridiculous suit. They make small talk about lobster rolls, but Molly misses the timbre of the humor and her "women are clueless about sports" bit doesn't quite land. Which I'm going to go ahead and chalk up to a racial barrier because let's just admit it. It's not believable to pretend a black woman gives a fuck about hockey. I have sat around with white dudes and tried to watch hockey games. That shit is boring. They score once every fifteen minutes. Let us submit a blanket moratorium on black women appeasing whites by pretending to like hockey.

The next morning at work, Molly tries to maintain cordial commentary with her boss but it's awkward and they both wish it had never happened. She walks away from the break room while her boss and a random white man look awkwardly after her before going back to their conversation.

Hey. Don't you fucking hate that we have to do this shit?

Chad's. Lawrence is on his air mattress, looking pensive. Dune's. Issa is on her mac still stalking. She has progressed to facebook. Then she swaps to Twitter. Then she swaps to the LinkedIn. I have amazing internet stalking skills. I once found posts from a message board someone posted on anonymously in high school. I knew an ex of mine had gotten married like six months after I dumped him and I wanted to know who the wife was - that took licensed private investigator levels of digging because he had zero online footprint and a super generic name. I once found someone's professional license, which listed their contact number, saved the number to my phone, and used it to find their instagram page. Fuck with me dog. No one has shit on my internet stalking game. I'm not crazy just nosy as fuck.

Letsmovealong... Tasha's social media is meant, I'm thinking, to paint her as slightly basic. She has Beyonce quotes in the Beyonce font, she's wearing an uncomfortable suit in her linkedin pic. She takes pics eating jalepeno poppers in ecstasy. And, to be fair, I think that's the characterization we are meant to take away from Tasha. She isn't quirky like Issa. She's just "regular black." And I know that's a thing that people have had negative reactions to, so I don't mind telling you I aggressively defend "regular black." I live on the northside of my city, which is white neighborhoods. Every man I date has no less than a college degree and often a graduate or professional degree, as, having one myself, this only makes sense for finding someone with compatible values. So my ability to occupy a quirky, upwardly mobile black space must take responsibility for blackness as a whole, in the sense that it would be shameful for me to shun "regular blackness." Whenever I'm wearing curly 30 inch remy in my sew in and I meet randoms who ALWAYS ask me whether I'm latina I make SURE to put them in their place. Asking me whether I'm mixed. That's not a compliment, y'all. Don't be on the okcupids and the tinders talking about you're "other" race. I used to block men on sight with bedebees talking about some "Mixed race, other." Don't side with the oppressors. Don't shun regular blackness. (I have seen many, many black people do this, both male and female, and it is incredibly disheartening and disappointing. It's not just men. Women do it too. All of y'all need to stop.)

Issa realizes that Tasha works at the bank Lawrence goes to. So the next morning she takes it upon herself to take a visit, taking note of the Best Buy right next door. Issa goes inside and gets in Tasha's line. "I'd like to make a deposit," she says, and then cold-cocks Tasha. This, of course, is yet another fantasy.

But in real life, Molly is having a cup of espresso on some campus somewhere. Lawrence spots her and decides he's not petty enough to not say hi. I'm loving the linen denim blue button up, less endeared by the flat hipster leather backpack, but I don't mind the attempt. They hug with Molly surprised to see him - she was there for some meeting or other. Lawrence says it's "Meridian" which I know as a health insurer, but probably means something different as it's where he works. Molly's wear a midi dress and heels which... I remember those cut out shoulder cut out things from a time far far in the past, guys.

They make small talk about Lawrence's new job and how they're both "good." Lawrence makes to walk away but Molly, steeling herself, calls him back. She wants to talk about Issa, who she tells him is "still torn up." "And?" Lawrence says, rudely. Yeah, Lawrence has no concept of the fact that their relationship was garbage. Maybe it wasn't always, but where they were when we met them, their relationship was trash.

Molly champions Issa and asks whether he hates her. He says he doesn't, so Molly asks if he'd ever take her back. We don't get to see Lawrence's response as we swap to Issa in her car. She's still outside of the bank when Tasha walks past, talking to a friend. Issa drops the recline on her seat all the way back to hide. Molly calls at this moment, walking away from her conversation with Lawrence and carrying a fabulous pale tan attache case. She makes it clear to us that she was only there as a plant, to run into Lawrence so she could ask him about Issa. This is the new age adult version of the secret three way call.

Issa asks what Lawrence said about her. Molly apologizes, and breaks the bad news that Lawrence says he's done. He ended up taking the new apartment, so he's not coming back. Issa digests this in silence. Molly offers to come by but Issa tells her she's fine. She reclines in her car a bit longer into an annoying security guard comes by and tells her she can't sleep there.

Nighttime. Molly's still at work, skyping with Hannah, the lawyer who recently transferred to the Chicago office. They're both working late. My ambitions and skillset and also personal passions would seem to dictate that I should have been a lawyer. But even when I was much younger and just starting to think about what I wanted my life to look like, I never wanted to give more of a fuck about work than anything else in my life. Like, this being at the office at nighttime shit? No thank you. ....I kinda regret that now. You know? Maybe in the go-go 90s I took the trope of the serious businesswoman who doesn't have time for a man and a life and a family too seriously. I don't know.

Molly makes professional good with Hannah, offering to help with her workload - and this is kind of what I mean - in kind of like "I'm a workhorse, use me." Hannah is touched by the offer, and agrees to throw some work Molly's way, perhaps recognizing the ploy Molly is extending. So that one, at least, went over well.

Somewhere in LA. While Molly's in her office, Lawrence has stopped by Tasha's house. She comes out to meet him where he is waiting by his car. She's wearing ripped jeans and very clunky sneakers. When Lawrence says hi, she regards him coldly. He launches into an apology, telling Tasha she didn't deserve that. Tasha, still playing "cool girl" who doesn't make a big deal about the fucked up shit you're dealing, plays understanding, that she gets why he was still messing with his ex. She knows their relationship wasn't exclusive.

She's giving him an out. But Lawrence muddies this by saying his thing with Issa was over. Tasha tried to let him keep things casual, but his response signals that casual behavior isn't ok while they are seeing each other. Recognizing this, Tasha makes an excuse for why she has to go back inside.

But, at the last minute she just can't help it, and caves, asking him whether or not he wants to come in for dinner. Lawrence, who was walking away, stops and takes her up on it. Damnit, Tasha. You almost made it.

Dunes. Issa, in her hairscarf and tshirt again (this has been a dry week for Issa right?) is putting away her laundry. She is suddenly annoyed about hanging all of her clothes on one side of the closet. Lawrence's shit is gone. She angrily shelves her shit on the opposite side, and, in bed, pulls her pillow in the middle, grappling with the reality that Lawrence is really not coming back.

Swiper more swiping helps blunt some of the pain as Issa pulls up Tinder again, trying, still trying.

[apostatemages]

Angsty otp asks,.. same ships, 1, 3, 7,14, 19, 20, 23, 32,43,46,50.. if that's too many then er... half it >>

ANIDALA 

1: do they have a lot of arguments? if so, over what? - I don’t really think they argue too much. In the beginning obviously they argued over the ethics of their relationship and whether they should even be together. But after that, it would mostly be over politics and general differences in opinion. 

3: which one has more insecurities? over what? - Anakin has more insecurities, for sure, but Padme is not without her own. I think Anakin is insecure about many things, primarily losing his loved ones and in my headcanon his appearance and skills as a Jedi. I mean it doesn’t take much thought to come to that conclusion, but yeah. He thinks his arm is the physical manifestation of all his failings. Padme has times where she gets insecure about her looks and her skill as a diplomat. 

7:  would they hate-fuck if they were mad at one another? if they had a falling out? - Definitely! I can see them working out the tension of an earlier disagreement by having sex. The lack of communicating on Anakin’s part makes reconciling difficult at times, but I can see them working it out with sex, even if it only relieves the frustration. Perhaps there has been a few times when one is genuinely frustrated with the other and is surprised to find that it is turning them on. So they jump the other one.

14: who grieves more when the other is away? - Definitely Anakin again. He never knows what to do with himself when Padme is away. 

19: how about teasing? do they tease each other while in a fight (whether it be with themselves or just general teasing)? - I think they would both tease each other equally, but never seriously. 

20: do either of them have any vices? - I am unsure, I haven’t given it much thought. I think Ani could be prone to developing vices but probably doesn’t get the chance to explore them much. The only one he has been able to discover and indulge is sex, and only with Padme. He channels some of his impulsiveness into their sex life, and this suits Padme just fine. As for her I don’t know if she would have any. 

23: who’s more jealous? - Is there ANY doubt? Anakin, by FAR. 

32: who would be the first to say they hate the other? would they mean it? - Well, canonically, Anakin does say ‘I hate you/them’ and so that makes me think he would be the first to say it. I headcanon him as Bipolar so he would mean it sincerely in the moment but not generally. 

43: who would be more afraid of the other’s death/harm? - Again it is pretty obvious. Anakin is terrified of losing Padme and this fear drives him to push her away, which in turn indirectly causes her death. Even in a happy hc land where she lived he would be scared of losing her, I think.

46: who stays up at night brooding? - Brooding is Anakin’s bag so yeah, he would stay up all night glistening and being pensive, much like you do. 

50: if one of them were to come back after a long time, who would come to who? would it go well? would the other person take them back? - Welll…. we know what happened, but after they are together? I expect there would be little change in their feelings. All the reunion sex would happen, and there might be some happy crying. Anakin would come to Padme most times, but the other way around might happen sometimes, if she has a vacation of more than a couple days. 

XENA/GABRIELLE 

1: do they have a lot of arguments? if so, over what? - They do bicker often and I imagine they would argue about philosophy and the way they view life in general. Xena is very cynical while Gabby is much more optimistic and hopeful, and I imagine this causes some friction. There’s been bigger issues too but I am not going into that, I am only referring to the small stuff. 

3: which one has more insecurities? over what? - actually, I think Xena has more insecurities. They are hinted at in the show but rarely talked about outright. There is a lot of emotional baggage there to unpack, likely about her mother and things she has done in the past that she regrets.

7:  would they hate-fuck if they were mad at one another? if they had a falling out? - I can’t see it. I think they’d only be able to have sex if there were very few immediate issues in the way and they had a safe place to do it, and then only when they are on an even keel with each other. 

14: who grieves more when the other is away? - Definitely Gabby, though Xena feels it in her own way too. I bet Gabby writes poems about how it makes her feel. 

19: how about teasing? do they tease each other while in a fight (whether it be with themselves or just general teasing)? -  YES CAN YOU SAY Y E S

20: do either of them have any vices? - I haven’t given this one much thought either. I’m too tired to think of anything immediately. 

23: who’s more jealous? - Well, that’s hard to say. they can both be rather jealous and protective of each other but perhaps Gabby? 

32: who would be the first to say they hate the other? would they mean it? - I can’t see either saying it or meaning it. Their grievances with each other actually get worked out pretty quickly usually (except for that one time) and they try their best to communicate well. 

43: who would be more afraid of the other’s death/harm? - I think Xena. Because she finally has someone she allows herself to love and trust, she is terrified of losing Gabby and it keeps her awake at night sometimes. 

46: who stays up at night brooding? - Xena is always the one we see sitting awake at the fire thinking about things, so Xena. 

50: if one of them were to come back after a long time, who would come to who? would it go well? would the other person take them back? - Jeeez I guess it would usually be Xena to Gabby and depending on circumstances Gabby would probably take her back about 90% of the time. 

[godeityscholarsthoughts-blog]

Jealousy and Desire. How Does It Effect You?

Jealousy and desire are words that are common and yet mean so many different things. Depending on what your jealousy and desire is, these can be good or bad. Most people think of jealousy as having an envious eye and wanting and wishing that you were in another person’s shoes. In the book Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton “Jealousy may be an expression of insecurity, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, or feeling left out, not good enough, inadequate, or awful. Your jealousy may be based in territoriality or in competitiveness or in some other emotion that’s clamoring to be heard under the jealous racket in your brain. Sometimes it may show up as blind screaming rage—and being blind makes it very difficult to see. (ethical slut part three page 131 paragraph 5). Desire can be good and bad it all depends what your desire is and what you will do to acquire who or what you desire. Sometimes desire can lead to jealousy. Here are two questions to think about How much do you find yourself investing in jealousy and how unlikely or likely would you engage in a relationship with more than one significant other. Here at Deity Scholars we will be answering these two questions in this blog.

​I actually don’t find myself investing in jealousy when it comes to relationships. I think the last time that I did feel that I was investing in jealousy would be several years ago. Although it was anger mixed into it as well. I made a point to myself that I wouldn’t let another person push me to that point or have any control over me emotionally. I feel that if I was to feel jealousy I would have to remind myself to remain humble and be happy because I have my own blessings big and small. I don’t think it would be likely that I would consider being in a relationship with more than one significant other. I believe it’s definitely my religion (ISLAM)and the way that I grew up that molded that for me. My parents were married and growing up all I saw was a married couple and thought that’s how you were supposed to live your life. In Islam we are taught that we are supposed to be with one person only. I guess you can’t blame a lot of people. A lot of us prefer to be monogamous because that is the template for life was always shown to us. My parents were married, my grandparents were married, and their parents and so on. For me it’s what I feel I must do to live what we call a normal life. I know I’ve said that a lot of people saw this scenario and I know that some people didn’t have that scenario, but it’s something that some of them want for themselves. -N.P.

 I find myself investing in jealousy when/if the situation calls for it. If I know that a girl has a crush or wants to sleep with my boyfriend and she knows that he is with someone, I expect him to cut that off and if she still refuses to listen, then that is when my jealousy kicks in and I try to let her know that he belongs to me and she should learn how to back off. In situations like those, that is when my jealousy shows and I act on it. If I had complete % 100 trust in him, which I don’t, then m jealousy is at its worst. If I could trust him, then I would have absolutely no trouble with worrying about anything but because I don’t, my jealousy will only kick in if a girl continuously seek him out and she knows that he is taken, that is when I act.

I am very unlikely to engage in a relationship with more than one significant other because of my jealousy, over thinking, and trust issue. I just can’t see myself being involved with more than one person. It feels wrong and that I’m violating myself if I try to do that. It’s easier on me and makes my life more peaceful if I just have one person that is exclusively to me and I to him. If I get that, then I would have no trouble being with that person and will always trust him no matter what and will know that he will always choose me and marry me over anyone else because I earned and deserved it. Being with more than one person would make guilt increase because I would feel that I need to be equal with both parties and have the same expectations along with time. It would be exhausting trying to assuage both parties’ feelings along with my own and it would cause stress to me. I just can’t do it. I’m a selfish person and very territorial so being with more than one person just will not work with me. I just don’t like to share and I expect the same in return because it is fair. If they can’t do that, then they need to leave me alone and I would leave them alone and find someone else with my line of thinking so the relationship can work better.-S.B.

Only someone who does not feel anything is jealous. Jealousy - an appendage to love.

Only a mature person is able to love, not to try to own and use a partner, to parasitize on him,

compensating his fears and weaknesses. Most people know an unpleasant feeling of jealousy.

About this much is written and sung. This is a bottomless source of poetry, drama and tragedy.

Jealousy is a destructive emotion caused by conjectures that a partner communicates with

another person of the opposite (and not only) sex in a sexually-loving aspect. This obsession (in

fact, neurosis) about the partner's behavior, anxiety about relationships, loss of attention to

oneself and their attractiveness (fear of lowering self-esteem with a mirror overestimation of the

partner's attractiveness rating). That is, it is some form of control and struggle for attention and

feelings of the partner with attempts to prevent the partner from showing the same feelings to

someone else. As for me, I consider myself to be a jealous person and have caught myself thinking this time. I believe that the theme of jealousy is very close to the topic of cheating. Jealousy is either a fear of betrayal or a feeling that has arisen as a result of treason. I constantly think that jealousy can be an attempt to prevent and avoid treason. But I also believe that this is also a proof of love. Will you be jealous if you do not like the person? Jealousy is an energetically very strong feeling. As for polyamory, well, somehow, in my opinion, it looks a bit whimsical. I do not understand such people, and I do not understand how you can equally love two different people, and that they both are happy about it.- A.K.

 Having more than one partner may not be as easy as it seems. You don’t only have to think about one persons feeling, you have to think about two. You constantly have to ask yourself the question of if I do this how would the other person feel. Me personally I’m a very jealous person. I would constantly feel like one person would get more attention than the other. But I’m actually open to having more then one partner. -J.W

 When talking about jealousy everyone have different opinions and feel different concerning their sentimental partner when they relate with other people. While some people find exiting making jealous their lovers, others hate playing jealousy games and find this childish and offending. I consider myself a jealous person and I put myself in the category of people who hate when my sentimental partner has a close relationship with someone else of my same sex. However, when I think about this I feel somehow too immature, since jealous are clear signs of and insecure and unconfident person. 

As I said before, I personally would not share my relationship with someone else. I would not allow my partner to have one significant other, and I would not have one significant other myself. I consider that to have a stable and strong relationship the couple must think about the other one as the most important think. Of course, without forgetting other important things in life. -E.C

[murasaki-murasame]

Danganronpa V3 Liveblog Part 8 [Chapter 2 - Trial Success]

Not gonna lie, this chapter kinda kicked my ass, and it’s basically entirely my fault, lol.

Thoughts under the cut.

Just to get it out the way, I honestly came disturbingly close to failing the trial a second time. Mostly because it took me a weirdly long time to figure out which weak point to use the Alibis for Yesterday truth bullet on, and then to remember that the concentration feature exists after several failed attempts at shooting it. Oh and then the sword battle section happened and I started panicking all over again because I didn’t think we’d have anything else after that before the Argument Armament, and something about the logic of the argument made it take me a few attempts to figure out which truth bullet to use. I also kinda suck at the actual gameplay of the sword battle segments. And THEN I lost like over half my goddamn health on the Argument Armament itself because I continue to be awful at rhythm games. My next priority skill-wise will almost certainly be getting that other one that makes those parts a bit easier.

So yeah this trial was a complete goddamn nightmare, but I can only really blame myself for it. I feel kinda dumb in hindsight for having expected it to be easy and predictable.

I really do wonder if anyone else had as much trouble with this as I did. I can at least see how Kirumi makes sense as a culprit, and how if you had a correct idea of how the murder happened, she’d be very immediately suspicious. So I guess at least SOME people must have guessed it right away. But I still wound up getting stuck suspecting Kaito, and then frantically suspecting basically everyone aside from Kirumi.

I especially feel like a bit of an idiot for not thinking about the piece of black fabric. I guess I just assumed it was some random material used to tie the ropes together.

Before I talk about the motive and whatnot, I should talk a bit about the trial in general since I didn’t really do so last time.

One of the more immediately surprising things was that Angie started immediately suspecting and questioning Himiko. I knew already that she’s pretty callous in her own way, but I didn’t expect her to start openly questioning someone who she just befriended and recruited into her religion.

Tenko’s still growing on me more and more as a character. She’s pretty flawed and short-sighted, but it’s always interesting to see characters deal with stress and desperation. I hope she gets a chance to develop further as a character.

I still don’t really like Kokichi, but he undeniably works great as a Komaeda-esque character who stirs shit up. I don’t really know how to word my opinions on him. I think his personality just grates on me much more than someone like Komaeda. Also his expressions are somehow getting more creepy and off-putting as time goes on. I do like that he’s not a super-competent genius manipulator, though. The only person who doesn’t immediately ignore him is Gonta, really, and a lot of his schemes get torn down at some point or another.

Oh, and that reminds me, I’m surprised that Keebo’s audio recording feature never came up again in this chapter, but it makes sense, since nothing audio-related happened in the case. I can only imagine that it’ll be used at some point later in a case, though.

I’m also still really happy that Kaito was innocent. I feel pretty bad about suspecting him for so long. He’s still a really neat character. I like how straight-forward and honest he is about everything. He’s working really nicely as a foil to Shuichi, with how he knows how to be blunt and somewhat harsh if he needs to motivate Shuichi to overcome his emotional hang-ups and insecurities. And of course he’s still a bit of an idiot who’s not very good at actual detective work and mystery-solving, so he needs Shuichi to help him. And I feel like Shuichi’s one of the relatively few characters who responds to Kaito’s overall personality in a positive way, and who tries to stay on his side and work with him. It’s a nice dynamic.

As for the murder case as a whole, it’s almost insane how complicated it is compared to it’s relatively simple end result. It’s no wonder that it was the Ultimate Maid who was able to nearly perfectly pull it off. I knew in advance that I had no real clue exactly how the mechanism of getting Ryoma killed and through the gym window worked, but I guess I had most of the gist of it down. It was just specific details of it that I couldn’t work out.

Part of me was expecting my guess about Kokichi actually being the Ultimate Prisoner to play a part in the trial, but I guess it didn’t. It makes sense that they wouldn’t just get rid of his character this early. I’m not discarding that theory, though. It may not have played into the trial, but I still think that he is indeed the Ultimate Prisoner, and that Ryoma’s bathroom was actually Kokichi’s lab.

I’m slightly surprised that this chapter actually managed to give me even more trouble than the first one did, but I like it. It’s fun to play a murder mystery game that feels genuinely challenging.

Onto the topic of Kirumi’s motive, I actually quite like it. It’s pretty fitting for how over-the-top these cases can be in this series. I can see why other people might think it’s too much, but I really loved the idea that she had been enlisted to become the de facto prime minister to help improve the country. It raised a pretty interesting ethical conundrum, with how everyone began to feel guilty about sentencing her to death because it might mean dooming an entire country’s worth of people. I wonder if someone could actually volunteer to be executed in someone else’s place. I’m guessing not.

Like with the last chapter, I appreciate that Kirumi’s motives were completely understandable, and she still felt like the same person afterward. It was really hard not to feel bad for her. It would have been nice if she could have escaped, but obviously she was never going to be able to. That one CG of her screaming while running was really well done.

Her execution was also pretty difficult to watch. I mean, all of them are, but the ones that involve people being slowly injured, and having to actively move through a damaging environment, are always uncomfortable to watch. My only real issue was that it was kind of unfortunate that the signs that random shadow people were holding weren’t redrawn to be in English, so I can only guess at what they meant. I guess they were meant to represent protestors who were demanding stuff from Kirumi as the de facto prime minister.

It was also interesting how the execution used the concept of that one story I’ve heard before about a sinner in Hell being given a string leading up to Heaven to climb, that snaps before they get to the top. It makes a lot of sense that it’d reference a story all about Heaven and Hell, given that this chapter’s title is literally A Thin Line Divides Heaven and Hell, and we also had a few different vague references to the idea of the school being a sort of Hell. Which is getting me even more curious about the idea that maybe it literally is a form of Hell.

I should also probably say that even though I get why some people might find the idea of the motive videos to be a bit forced, especially the idea that Kirumi was the only one to get her own video, but the basic concept has been around since the very beginning of the series, and I think this chapter did a good job of twisting the formula a bit. It was also pretty obvious that Monokuma and the Monokubs probably designed it specifically so that Kirumi would get her own video and be driven to murder. So I think it’s totally fine.

Though on the note of Monokuma and the Monokubs, I’m intrigued by the way that they don’t all seem to be on the same page, and might be messing with the game in their own ways. I’m not sure what to make of it.

Obviously the whole ‘unprecedented crisis’ is foreshadowing for later plot reveals. I’m curious to see what’s up with all that. It’s reminding me a little of the whole scenario of Junko overtaking the world with despair. I guess we’ll learn about it later. It makes me kinda curious about why Kirumi would have elected to lose her memories like Shuichi seemingly did, if she was so devoted to her country.

I stopped playing immediately into chapter three, but I still saw a brief flash of some sort of news report showing meteors raining down, so . . . maybe that’s part of it. I have no real clue.

Anyway, on the topic of Ryoma, I probably should have expected that he was complicit in the murder and allowed himself to die. I think I kinda idly suspected it, but I never thought about it deeply since it wasn’t important to figuring out who the culprit was. But it makes sense. It’s both depressing and kinda admirable that he allowed himself to die in order to potentially save the entire country. And I like how it showed that Kirumi didn’t simply take him by surprise, but instead she explained her motive to him and gave him time to agree to it before attacking him. Not that she would have backed down even if she needed to fight him over it, though. There’s also the detail of how even in spite of all the emphasis placed on Ryoma’s apathy about life, he still resisted death in his final moments, as shown by the struggle he put up in the bathroom. I don’t think Kirumi was lying or anything about him genuinely exposing himself to her attack, I just think that instincts took over for him when he was actually facing imminent death. It adds an interesting element to this chapter’s whole discussion of the idea of ‘having a reason to live’.

I also like that Ryoma was actually hoping he could find a reason to live by looking at his motive video. It’s interesting that he wasn’t so apathetic that he wouldn’t seek a chance to live if he could discover one. Which isn’t that much of a surprise, I guess, since he said before that he was jealous of how everyone else had reasons to live. It’s also really depressing to think that he must have been genuinely curious to see who Monokuma would say is his most important person. Though we now know that there was literally nobody. I think that Monokuma went out of his way to give him a ‘blank motive’ in order to set him up as a victim, though. Ryoma probably technically had SOMETHING that could have been put there. We even saw in this chapter earlier that Kaito has a lot of respect for him from his old tennis club days, and that he was annoyed at him because he wanted him to regain his will to live. So there’s at least one person who cared for Ryoma in his own way.

Then there’s the implication of him having blackmailed Maki about potentially exposing her identity as the Ultimate Assassin. That was neat. Even though Ryoma’s more or less a good person, he’s still someone with an experience in crime, and he’s not above things like this. I was gonna say that I’m not sure how Ryoma or Kokichi knew her real identity, but come to think of it, Ryoma had her motive video, and Kokichi had also presumably seen them all. He was probably lying about having ‘just checked who had which motive video without having watched them’. So her motive video probably just made it clear that she was the Ultimate Assassin, and since they’re the only people other than her who would have watched her video, it makes sense that they both knew about it. Now I’m wondering exactly what her motive video showed. I wonder if we’ll ever see it. I’m kinda surprised, but also happy, that the motive videos actually played a pretty huge part in this overall case, in multiple ways.

I was wondering why Maki was being so defensive about her room, and why she was so tight-lipped during the trial, but now it makes sense. I kinda hope we can see her lab now that the truth’s been exposed.

It’s also pretty interesting that this already opens up the idea of someone outright lying about their talent, which makes me even more confident in thinking that Kokichi’s probably also lying about his talent. I guess she was probably setting up a false identity for herself in order to remain as unknown and unsuspected as possible. I wonder how she’ll act now that everyone knows her big secret.

Come to think of it, I remember people thinking that she looked more like a ninja or an assassin when we first learned about her, so I guess this twist makes sense. I’d forgotten about it though, so I didn’t see this coming.

I’m very curious to see how the story continues now. It feels like it’d be pretty difficult to motivate anyone to kill after how these two chapters went.

In a metagame-y sense, I’m kinda expecting to get a female victim and a male killer soon, after two cases of a male victim and a female killer. That’s about the extent of my prediction, though. I’m not sure who exactly I’m expecting to see die.

Before I forget, I’m aware that I apparently missed one or two ‘backdoor’ options in the trial, but I can’t really imagine where they could have been. I’d have to basically retry the entire trial, which I have no real intention of doing anytime soon. I feel like, in general, it’d be much easier to find those options in hindsight, when you know who the killer is.

Overall, I thought this was a really good chapter, even if I feel a bit ashamed about having lost right near the end of it the first time around. I really wasn’t expecting it to feel equally as difficult, if not MORE difficult, than case one, but it really did.

[insecure-hbo-the-recaps]

hella questions

Previously on Insecure: A bunch of bad dates, missing Lawrence, trifling Lawrence, failed “get my ex back” party, Molly is way underpaid. And two minutes of ex sex.

“Y'all fucked?” is the incredulity that welcomes us to the second episode of the season. I can’t decide if I love or hate that Issa has one of those old school ugly wooden entertainment center things that I’m sure we ALL had growing up.

Issa is also wearing a hoodie with Harriet Tubman on it… though I can’t figure out what the two pictures on her wall are. Molly wants to know who initiated the sex and whether they’ve spoken since. They aren’t really in any better place, and Molly doesn’t find this encouraging. Issa is grasping at straws. Molly asks whether it was a getting back together fuck or a “fuck you” fuck. Hmmm. As someone who recently had sex with her ex that she’s still in love with… it was definitely neither lol. It was… well, actually, it was a “I put up this picture of me kissing another dude as my facebook profile pic so that everyone could stop feeling sorry for me for being single, but you think I moved on and am dating someone else and don’t love your trifling ass anymore and you got the nerve to have a jealous streak" kind of a fuck. This fool asked me like four times “so what’s new with you?” As if I would tell if it WAS true, lol. Anyway, the sex between Lawrence and Issa would fall in a similar category - dudes being in their insecure ass feelings but STILL not trying to give you the respect you deserve.

Issa calls the sex “nebulous.” Nebulous: unclear, vague, or ill defined. Molly is wary of drawing any conclusions based on this murky outcome, but Issa brightly tries to convince herself the sex means something good. Idk, girl. I don’t feel like that. I’m not even going to delude myself that way.

Lawrence is in the gym, because in case you haven’t noticed, he ain’t a capn crunch eating white socks scrub no more. He starts to text Issa that he made things weird and didn’t plan for it to happen, but thinks better of it and deletes it.

Meanwhile, Molly did stick with her therapist and is at a second session. Far from how close mouthed she had been before, she is ranting energetically about her stronger work ethic and going above and beyond but still being underpaid. Honestly, this is why I just solve this issue by half assing everything at work. I’m never going above and beyond. I will ALWAYS be a solid ¾ at annual performance review time. Fuck your five star review. This job don’t give a fuck about me and I don’t give a fuck about y'all. And when the pay stops being enough, my resume makes it easy for me to bounce and renegotiate a new salary. But Molly is not interested in conceding defeat and can’t understand why she can’t figure out a way to get into the all boy’s club. The therapist points out that Molly is “shoulding” all over herself. And if you watch this show, you’ve seen Sex and the City, so we don’t need to break down the logistics of this.

The therapist tries to tell Molly she’s living in the reality she thinks she should have, not the one she does have. Molly, naturally, doesn’t understand what she’s saying. The therapist tells her that there are certain standards levied at black women - and let’s take the time to point out the difference here… in the past, the standards of a black woman were to singlehandedly manage a household and all of its financial and functional needs, put yourself aside and be a supporting force for everyone else in your life, and maybe you might find a man but how can you expect that, and you shouldn’t, because it’s too hard, and well, if you can’t find one, maybe nice Willie the janitor will be there for you and don’t be thinking bout no law degree. That shit ain’t the move no more. These days the perfect standards of being a black woman are all about getting your 2013 self titled album Beyonce on - fulfilled in yourself and your life choices and not subscribing to any ideology that says you can’t be enough or what you have to offer isn’t valuable… with a slice of “even if no one else can see my value, I know it far exceeds that of many of those around me.” Later for settling. Later for accepting scraps. But now that opens the door to a battle that’s twice as hard, choosing to except the ways in which you are exceptional, in a world that is not willing to agree with you purely because… you are a black woman.

The therapist asks Molly if she would be open to a life that doesn’t look like the one she thinks she “should” have. Molly isn’t ready to grapple with that idea, and demurs on scheduling the next session. See what I’m saying? Bitches afraid to look at themselves.

Gallery opening. Which, again, is a little too close to Sex and the City for me, but I don’t know what y'all be doing in California or New York. Gallery openings ain’t a thing in Chicago. The four of them are talking about Issa’s party. Tiffany is being annoyingly bougie as usual, Kelli is only mildly extra. I don’t… I don’t know what to say about these outfits.

I fully respect everything Insecure is doing. But I’d be a damn lie if I said… it was very… right, I suppose. It wouldn’t be the route I’d take if it were my show, I guess is what I’d say. They are trying to decide plans for the weekend but Issa doesn’t want to go out clubbing - she thinks sleeping with Lawrene means a reunion is imminent so she can’t really be going out anymore. Tiffany decides to empathize and shares that her gay husband lived in a hotel for basically half a year while they were going through something. “The point is, even perfect couples have problems,” Tiffany says, and I’m not looking forward to the season where they try to humanize Tiffany by showing she hides behind all this “perfect” bullshit to cover up the fact that she is miserably depressed and hates herself. I accidentally paused at a moment that captures this sentiment:

Issa thinks she just needs to give Lawrence time to forgive her; he can’t just walk away from five years like that. Every single time I’ve thought I offered something so incredibly unique to a man he’d be stupid to walk away from it, I was patently, 100% wrong. Kelli points out that for 2 of those years his bum ass mooched off on her couch and Issa should move on. Issa wants to work it out. But… really? Why would Issa want to still be with Lawrence? She wasn’t happy with him, that’s why she cheated in the first place. And I’m not buying that she saw the error of her ways and truly wants the life they had together in the end. More like being single is shit, especially when you’ve had someone as your counterpart for a significant chunk of time, and rather than adjusting to something new it’s easier and more comfortable to want back what you had.

Kelli lets it slip that Lawrence is with someone knew, which Tiffany was also aware of. They know who she is and everything, but Issa claims she doesn’t want to know. In the two seconds it takes to decry that claim, Molly finds Tasha’s instagram profile. Tiffany offers some friendly shit-talking (“why does she only speak in emojis?”) and Kelli says she looks like a stripper. Issa pretends like she doesn’t want to know who she is.

Gallery bathroom. While Issa is doing her “go high or go low?” mirror freestyle, I am just mesmerized by her crown-mimicking braidout. Like. I wouldn’t wear it because I couldn’t pull it off, but it is fascinating on her. She decides going the high road is overrated, and when Molly comes to check on her, Issa snaps, “pull that bitch up!” The soundtrack that kicks in at that moment - bass heavy intoning “fuck that nigga” - pulls all of us back on the thrones we sometimes forget but need always to occupy.

The next day. For reasons that are unclear, Issa stops by Chad’s apartment looking for Lawrence. Chad remarks on her glow up approvingly, which Issa awkwardly plays off. They have awkward small tight for a bit before Issa asks for Lawrence. Chad doesn’t want to say where he really is, and if I had the skills/patience to make gifs, I’d insert one here now of the coy way he then slups on the straw of his beet juice. As it is, Issa concedes defeat and decides to leave.

It turns out Lawrence is at Tasha’s, watching Defamation. I know that’s not the name of their in-series show, but I can’t be bothered to find out what it was, so I’m just going to call it the same as DWP’s. Tasha is into it while Lawrence is aloof, and the thing that makes *me* most uncomfortable about Tasha - as stated, I do not buy into the thotty because she is traditional narrative - is her liking Real Housewives-y television and occupying that “black women in Atlanta” sort of social space. I do fully approve of her around the way girl oversized gold hoops.

Lawrence says he has things on his mind and Tasha, again refreshingly casually, asks whether he wants to talk about it. She gets a text from her mom, informing her about a family barbecue. She takes a moment and hints about whether or not Lawrence would like to come. Rather than pretend to be oblivious, Lawrence actually makes a noise like he acknowledges this time that he knows this would mean something, and Tasha, sensing his hesitation, immediately walks the invitation back. Lawrence decides to just drop that he slept with his ex. He tries to explain why it happens and says he just wants to be honest, and doesn’t know what it means. Hmm. I don’t know at this point in their relationship how big a deal this should be, so Tasha’s measured response of “I think you need to go” is about level and appropriate. Oh MAYNE, she got that black glass and gold accented vanity mirror that I’m sure was a pattern we ALL had in our moms’ bedrooms at some point.

Dunes. Issa is getting ready for bed, trying to resist looking up Tasha. Of course she isn’t able to manage it, and pulls up Tasha’s instagram.

Law firm. Molly rolls up on the front desk lady and they exchange pleasantries and niceties. Molly wants to know about a hockey game the bosses are going to. She is planning to shoot her shot and try to ingratiate herself into the “boy’s club.” “I’m scared of you,” the front desk lady says neutrally, grinning and turning back to her computer.

Issa’s boring after school job. The principle is prejudiced against latinos, Frieda doesn’t like it, Issa is tone deaf. Blah blah blah.

So how do we feel about Chad’s suit? Apparently he had to wait outside for Lawrence to express his disbelief that Lawrence told Tasha about Issa. Uh, how did he find out about that? lol. Lawrence says he couldn’t lie about it because he’s “not dirty like that.” Chad, and all of us:

Seriously, what’s up with Lawrence? He is delusional about his capacity for being a good dude. Which, to be perfectly frank with you, is not very surprising to me for a guy who could mooch off his girlfriend for two years and then be totally blindsided with her being dissatisfied and unhappy in the relationship. Lawrence can’t believe he slept with Issa, thinking he was once step out the door away. Chad is overall not surprised that Lawrence went back to being a “John Legend ass nigga.”

Apparently they are going to check out a new apartment for Lawrence. Why does Chad need to be there for that? Chad mentions that Issa came by looking for him, acknowledging her glow up: “did she always look like that?”

The broker is a black woman in an off white pantsuit. You know how sometimes you’ll be watching white tv and you never see any black people until you need a bus driver or a maid or a nurse or some other menial service person? Insecure does this in reverse where most of the roles of businesspeople in the community are held by black women, which is truer to life. Anyway, she’s Patty from ABG. The apartment seems to have disturbingly pale sea green walls which I would not be happy with. I’d feel like my entire apartment is a bloody bathroom from a scary movie. That’s the exact same shade of sea foam green blue.

They like the apartment. It’s pretty big. I know nothing about Los Angeles real estate but I assume it’s extremely expensive. Lawrence is hesitant to commit, possibly because he wants an invite back to the Dunes. Who knows, the scene doesn’t elaborate.

High School. Frieda is mad about Principal Gaines not caring about the latino students. She calls it a “racist joke” he made. Issa doesn’t care, and Frieda’s Clueless White Person rambling doesn’t help. They arrive to the after school program to find it full of students. Gaines hooked them up with kids. Issa is thrilled but Frieda is concerned about the lack of latino students.

Molly is riding an escalator somewhere. Where ya going, Molly? Ooooh… eeeee… she’s making the bold but fairly ill considered decision to try to rub elbows with the boys club in the box seats for a hockey game.

I don’t begrudge Molly attempting to shoot her shot, but there have got to be more… shall we say organic ways for her to attempt it. We look like assholes popping up in entirely the wrong context like this. Now I’m having a flashback to an ill advised friendship with an overweight white woman who, time would reveal, primarily wanted to use me to get an in into black spaces where she could meet black men. But never fear, her black female friends were just as corny and thirsty: her black counterpart was this overweight chick who went out of her way to assure all of us how much she loved hockey and when she talked about basketball she made sure to only talk about the two or three white players on our home team. The thirst was real and it went in both directions, and that is tonight’s anecdote on why I make very little effort to make female friends as an adult.

Back at the Dunes, Issa cannot resist the allure of her phone, holding the secrets as it does to Tasha’s insta. Of course she eventually caves and we are treated to this snap filtered gem:

Doing the most. But followed up by this:

Loving the wig. Issa throws the phone down pretending she doesn’t care, going back to her book.

Back at the hockey game, Molly’s attempts to bond with middle aged white men is typically embarrassing. They’re drinking shitty beer, Stella Artois as far as I can tell? Molly takes a moment then decides to shoot her shot, socially approaching her boss. He’s wearing a ridiculous suit. They make small talk about lobster rolls, but Molly misses the timbre of the humor and her “women are clueless about sports” bit doesn’t quite land. Which I’m going to go ahead and chalk up to a racial barrier because let’s just admit it. It’s not believable to pretend a black woman gives a fuck about hockey. I have sat around with white dudes and tried to watch hockey games. That shit is boring. They score once every fifteen minutes. Let us submit a blanket moratorium on black women appeasing whites by pretending to like hockey.

The next morning at work, Molly tries to maintain cordial commentary with her boss but it’s awkward and they both wish it had never happened. She walks away from the break room while her boss and a random white man look awkwardly after her before going back to their conversation.

Hey. Don’t you fucking hate that we have to do this shit?

Chad’s. Lawrence is on his air mattress, looking pensive. Dune’s. Issa is on her mac still stalking. She has progressed to facebook. Then she swaps to Twitter. Then she swaps to the LinkedIn. I have amazing internet stalking skills. I once found posts from a message board someone posted on anonymously in high school. I knew an ex of mine had gotten married like six months after I dumped him and I wanted to know who the wife was - that took licensed private investigator levels of digging because he had zero online footprint and a super generic name. I once found someone’s professional license, which listed their contact number, saved the number to my phone, and used it to find their instagram page. Fuck with me dog. No one has shit on my internet stalking game. I’m not crazy just nosy as fuck.

Letsmovealong… Tasha’s social media is meant, I’m thinking, to paint her as slightly basic. She has Beyonce quotes in the Beyonce font, she’s wearing an uncomfortable suit in her linkedin pic. She takes pics eating jalepeno poppers in ecstasy. And, to be fair, I think that’s the characterization we are meant to take away from Tasha. She isn’t quirky like Issa. She’s just “regular black.” And I know that’s a thing that people have had negative reactions to, so I don’t mind telling you I aggressively defend “regular black.” I live on the northside of my city, which is white neighborhoods. Every man I date has no less than a college degree and often a graduate or professional degree, as, having one myself, this only makes sense for finding someone with compatible values. So my ability to occupy a quirky, upwardly mobile black space must take responsibility for blackness as a whole, in the sense that it would be shameful for me to shun “regular blackness.” Whenever I’m wearing curly 30 inch remy in my sew in and I meet randoms who ALWAYS ask me whether I’m latina I make SURE to put them in their place. Asking me whether I’m mixed. That’s not a compliment, y'all. Don’t be on the okcupids and the tinders talking about you’re “other” race. I used to block men on sight with bedebees talking about some “Mixed race, other.” Don’t side with the oppressors. Don’t shun regular blackness. (I have seen many, many black people do this, both male and female, and it is incredibly disheartening and disappointing. It’s not just men. Women do it too. All of y'all need to stop.)

Issa realizes that Tasha works at the bank Lawrence goes to. So the next morning she takes it upon herself to take a visit, taking note of the Best Buy right next door. Issa goes inside and gets in Tasha’s line. “I’d like to make a deposit,” she says, and then cold-cocks Tasha. This, of course, is yet another fantasy.

But in real life, Molly is having a cup of espresso on some campus somewhere. Lawrence spots her and decides he’s not petty enough to not say hi. I’m loving the linen denim blue button up, less endeared by the flat hipster leather backpack, but I don’t mind the attempt. They hug with Molly surprised to see him - she was there for some meeting or other. Lawrence says it’s “Meridian” which I know as a health insurer, but probably means something different as it’s where he works. Molly’s wear a midi dress and heels which… I remember those cut out shoulder cut out things from a time far far in the past, guys.

They make small talk about Lawrence’s new job and how they’re both “good.” Lawrence makes to walk away but Molly, steeling herself, calls him back. She wants to talk about Issa, who she tells him is “still torn up.” “And?” Lawrence says, rudely. Yeah, Lawrence has no concept of the fact that their relationship was garbage. Maybe it wasn’t always, but where they were when we met them, their relationship was trash.

Molly champions Issa and asks whether he hates her. He says he doesn’t, so Molly asks if he’d ever take her back. We don’t get to see Lawrence’s response as we swap to Issa in her car. She’s still outside of the bank when Tasha walks past, talking to a friend. Issa drops the recline on her seat all the way back to hide. Molly calls at this moment, walking away from her conversation with Lawrence and carrying a fabulous pale tan attache case. She makes it clear to us that she was only there as a plant, to run into Lawrence so she could ask him about Issa. This is the new age adult version of the secret three way call.

Issa asks what Lawrence said about her. Molly apologizes, and breaks the bad news that Lawrence says he’s done. He ended up taking the new apartment, so he’s not coming back. Issa digests this in silence. Molly offers to come by but Issa tells her she’s fine. She reclines in her car a bit longer into an annoying security guard comes by and tells her she can’t sleep there.

Nighttime. Molly’s still at work, skyping with Hannah, the lawyer who recently transferred to the Chicago office. They’re both working late. My ambitions and skillset and also personal passions would seem to dictate that I should have been a lawyer. But even when I was much younger and just starting to think about what I wanted my life to look like, I never wanted to give more of a fuck about work than anything else in my life. Like, this being at the office at nighttime shit? No thank you. ….I kinda regret that now. You know? Maybe in the go-go 90s I took the trope of the serious businesswoman who doesn’t have time for a man and a life and a family too seriously. I don’t know.

Molly makes professional good with Hannah, offering to help with her workload - and this is kind of what I mean - in kind of like “I’m a workhorse, use me.” Hannah is touched by the offer, and agrees to throw some work Molly’s way, perhaps recognizing the ploy Molly is extending. So that one, at least, went over well.

Somewhere in LA. While Molly’s in her office, Lawrence has stopped by Tasha’s house. She comes out to meet him where he is waiting by his car. She’s wearing ripped jeans and very clunky sneakers. When Lawrence says hi, she regards him coldly. He launches into an apology, telling Tasha she didn’t deserve that. Tasha, still playing “cool girl” who doesn’t make a big deal about the fucked up shit you’re dealing, plays understanding, that she gets why he was still messing with his ex. She knows their relationship wasn’t exclusive.

She’s giving him an out. But Lawrence muddies this by saying his thing with Issa was over. Tasha tried to let him keep things casual, but his response signals that casual behavior isn’t ok while they are seeing each other. Recognizing this, Tasha makes an excuse for why she has to go back inside.

But, at the last minute she just can’t help it, and caves, asking him whether or not he wants to come in for dinner. Lawrence, who was walking away, stops and takes her up on it. Damnit, Tasha. You almost made it.

Dunes. Issa, in her hairscarf and tshirt again (this has been a dry week for Issa right?) is putting away her laundry. She is suddenly annoyed about hanging all of her clothes on one side of the closet. Lawrence’s shit is gone. She angrily shelves her shit on the opposite side, and, in bed, pulls her pillow in the middle, grappling with the reality that Lawrence is really not coming back.

Swiper more swiping helps blunt some of the pain as Issa pulls up Tinder again, trying, still trying.