#not completely tear away spencer from it bc i think hell always be there but

[8aji]

listening to pov by ariana grande takes me back to 2020 when i was obsessed with spencer reid

[blackbirdsaltzman]

little!jj having self esteem issues and thinking parents!hotchniss love little!spencer more bc he’s always seen as the baby and golden child of the team even though she’s one of the youngest too 😭

(I mean Morgan blaming jj for Reid getting kidnapped in revelations when he’s the one who ran off 🥺 like don’t tell me the team and the show doesn’t prioritize spencer more than the others 😅)

Yesss. JJ, in general, has self-esteem issues but when she’s little, it’s super bad. She tends to hyper-focus on things that others blamed her for even if every logical ounce in her tells her that it wasn’t her fault.

Emily and Hotch work to get Spencer settled on the couch in the jet before they take off from Georgia. It’s been a hell of a week tracking down Tobias and then getting Spencer back. Everyone was too focused on Spencer that no one noticed the blonde on the team fading away. JJ curls up in the back of the jet messing with her hands. She knows it’s her fault that Spencer was taken and hurt, Morgan had already told her. All the blonde wants is her mama and dada, but they seem too focused on Spencer. She doesn’t deserve their attention when she messed up. She stays to herself for the flight which was easy as none of the team came near her. She zones out until she somehow gets back to her apartment which she hasn’t been to in months, she’s normally at Hotch and Emily’s house, but this seems not like home anymore. The team had a mandatory week off after the whole ordeal when they finally made it back to the BAU, JJ hasn’t talked to anyone in a week, and she hadn’t even left her apartment.

“Hey JJ.” Penelope tries to state as the blonde reaches the bullpen where the team is but JJ completely ignores her glancing at Spencer, clinging to Hotch. She brushes the feeling off retreating to her office.

“She never ignores me…” Penelope whispers as Emily and Aaron share a look.

“Has anyone talked to her since we found Spencer?” Hotch asks as Morgan glares. Everyone shakes their head as Morgan snaps.

“She’s a big girl. It’s not our responsibility to take care of her. Like she got Spencer in this position.”

“Derek!” Emily exclaims. She should have noticed the signs of the blonde isolating herself. She was going to have a full meltdown and not let the team in.

“Emily, come with me?” Hotch states passing Spencer off knowing he and Emily screwed up. Emily nods as the two head straight to JJ’s office.

“Hey, Jen,” Emily whispers as Hotch knocks on the door.

“Go ‘way.” They hear mumbled. They both sigh opening the door to reveal the girl curled up on her chair as tears stream down her face.

“Oh, baby girl,” Aaron whispers quickly reaching her.

“My fault Spencer hurt.” JJ hiccups.

“No, no baby girl it’s not. Tobias is the only one to blame.” Emily states as Hotch quickly put the girl into his lap.

“Morgan blame me.” The little cries clutching her dada’s shirt.

“We know love and he has no right. We’re sorry we haven’t noticed you struggling.” Hotch whispers.

“Love Spence more than me,” JJ mumbles shocking the two caregivers.

“No of course not pumpkin. We love both of you equally and you’ll always be our baby girl. We’re sorry we made you feel that way.” Emily states quickly as the blonde stares at them tiredly.

“Home.” JJ whimpers feeling completely overwhelmed.

“Alright baby, we can go home. Mama just needs to let the team know.” Aaron whispers tightening his grip on the little.

[donald4spiderman]

Ok hear me out. Spencer is dating Reader and she’s always hated that she’s been more chubby/curvy. And one night in the middle of a case she calls him crying and Spencer just gets really soft and calms her down after a bad nightmare. And his heart breaks cause his loving girlfriend hates her body. So Spencer plans this elaborate date and proposes maybe? You can decide if the team have met her or not. I’d like it to be the original team but if you wanna combine the original and new teams together that’s cool too!

no bc my body image issues have been rampant lately so this is personal as hell to me. I work out a lot and i’m fit but i’ve never been SKINNY like i have thick legs and muscular arms andnnfnfjndjnffn so this is personal.

I modified this a bit but it’s still the same premises hope you like it! ***BTW IN THIS UNIVERSE THE S3-7 CAST EXISTS FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW— SO THE LATER SEASONS HAVE MORGAN AND HOTCH.

also sorry this is a long

TW: body image issues, discussions of food & weight, insecurity, crying, kissing

WC: 1.5k

-

You know, pragmatically, that you have nothing to worry about. Spencer chose you. And for the past four years, Spencer has worshipped you every day— again and again. He is the most loving, considerate, and tender partner you could ever wish for. He is near perfection.

You’ve met Spencer's friends many times. You’re not close with either of your parents, so the team of profilers welcomed you into their arms with grace and care. Each and every one of them is beautifully amazing and exceptionally brilliant.

Spencer‘s friends are not only badass, but they’re also gorgeous. JJ, Emily, and Garcia are national treasures— so visually stunning it’s almost sickening.

You knew he used to have a crush on JJ way before he met you. You’ve also heard the tale of Lila Archer, the celebrity actress who made out with your boyfriend in a pool. Spencer’s had an eventful life, full of beautiful, sweet, magnificent women— so why does he choose you?

You view yourself as bland in comparison. What do you have to offer Spencer that he can’t find elsewhere? You don’t have toned abs, slim hips, and slender arms. You’re not striking in any way.

Spencer calls you every night when he’s away on a case. He’s never missed a call, even when he got shot in the neck and kidnapped by a murderous cult. He’s reliable and consistent, and that eases your worries a little bit.

It’s eleven pm in D.C. and your phone rings right as your getting in bed.

“Hi, my love,” Spencer says breathily, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. He’s away in Ohio for a case.

“Hey.” You reply, the sweetness in his voice soured by your mood. “How’s the case going?”

“Good. JJ and I are about to pass out in our beds— we’re so tired.”

You can’t help the way your face drops. “Oh. Well, get rest.”

Your about to hang up before he interjects. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Why?” You know better than to lie to your boyfriend, who happens to be an expert on human behavior.

“Okay, I know a lie when I hear one. (Y/N), baby, what’s wrong?” He pleads.

You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. You always know what to do when I’m feeling like shit.”

Spencer knows how much you struggle with self and bodily acceptance. He hates the world for making you feel anything less than incredible, both inside and out.

“I miss you too, so much, (Y/N).” His voice is thick as if he’s going to start crying too. “I love you so much, so fucking much. You have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughs through a sob that wrecks his body. “You deserve everything in this world. I promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You are the love of my life.”

You wipe the tears from underneath your eyes. “Sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.”

“Never, if it means I get to talk to you.”

“I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you too, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever know.”

-

Spencer wakes up the next day with a newfound determination. The team solves the case as fast as possible, and by the end of the night, they’ve boarded the jet back home.

Spencer has more than enough hours to think about you and how much you mean to him. Hotch is seated directly across from him, rereading the case files.

“Hotch?” The wiser man looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.

Spencer pauses for a moment. Maybe he’d be better asking Morgan or JJ for advice, considering Hotch’s tragic circumstances regarding Haley.

But no one loves like Hotch does-- sincerely, passionately-- stronger than anything else in the world. Spencer decides there’s no one better to ask.

“How uh did you know that Haley was the one?”

Hotch’s eyes soften for a bit. He clears his throat. “I knew since the day I met her that I would love her for the rest of my life unconditionally. She makes me complete. Do you feel that (Y/N) makes you complete?”

He already knows why Spencer is asking for his advice, steering the conversation in that direction.

“Yes. She’s my world.” Spencer whispers.

“Then it’s simple, really. Love doesn’t need to be complicated and precise. It’s what you do with it that matters.”

“I want to marry her, Hotch. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.”

Hotch smiles, “Then do it.”

Spencer feels the rush of excitement as he gathers everyone on the jet, including the prior sleeping passengers, filling them in on his big plans.

“I need all of your guys’ help.”

-

There’s a firm knock on your door at four in the morning. You know it isn’t Spencer because he has a key, but who could it be?

You take a cautious look out of your peephole to find Penelope, Emily, and JJ outside.

“What are you guys doing here?” You yawn. “For god's sake, it’s four am.”

“We know, and we’re sorry.” Penelope smiles.

“Is Spencer alright?” You ask, wondering if things suddenly went wrong during the case.

But by the joyous look on their face, you know nothing somber occurred.

“Spencer’s completely fine. But, we need to you to get changed and come with us. FBI’s orders.” JJ chuckles.

You change into warmer clothes in minutes, and the BAU ladies usher you into Emily’s car as fast as possible.

“So, no ones gonna tell me what’s going on?”

They shake their heads, “We’re just... running a quick errand.”

After a few more minutes of driving, Emily parks on the side of a dimly lit street.

“I need you to put this on.” She says, holding up a blindfold.

“Are you guys gonna murder me?” You joke, slipping the fabric over your eyes with little resistance.

“Quite the opposite, actually.” You don’t have time to think about what Penelope means before you’re being yanked out of the car.

You walk, guided by JJ, for four minutes. The grass beneath you crushes below your boots, and the hushed whispers of Emily and Penelope behind you do nothing to calm your nerves.

“Okay,” JJ says, halting to a stop. “You can take off your blindfold now.”

You hesitantly slip the blindfold off, revealing a brightly lit table in the middle of a secluded field. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi are standing off to the sides.

Suddenly, Spencer emerges from behind a tree, dusting the leaves and dirt off his adorable sweater.

“Hi?” You laugh, utterly confused by this situation. “What’s going on?”

His hands are shaking, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I-I uh got y-you apple pie— uh your favorite.”

Spencer walks you towards the table, where a small slice of warm pie sits lonely on the table.

“Y-you should um... eat it.” He urges, pointing at the knife and fork next to it.

You glance around, trying to gauge the emotions of everyone around you, but fail. Stupid profilers and their poker faces.

Your fork cuts into the heavenly smelling pie, and you scoop up a bite into your mouth.

“It’s... good? I’ll pretty much eat any pie you give me, Spencer.”

He smiles, “I know that. But t-this is a special pie.”

“Okay...”

“You should t-take a closer look— at the pie.”

You inspect the dessert, completely puzzled until a glinting piece of silver catches your eye. Spencer notices the shock in your face and catches the plate that almost falls out of your hand.

Morgan hands him a napkin, and when Spencer pulls an apple-covered ring from the slice of pie, you almost faint.

“No way.” You gasp; tears spring to your eyes as Spencer wipes the ring clean.

He holds it tightly between two fingers, bending to kneel on one knee.

“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I knew from the moment I met you that you were the most special woman I’d have the pleasure of meeting. A month later, you asked me out for our first date, and I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous and amazing as you would settle for someone like me.” You scoff at his humility.

“I spend every moment loving every part of you, (Y/N). None of my love will ever stop— ever. I promise to share my heart with you until the very end. There is absolutely no one I would rather be bonded to for the rest of my life. You are better than my dream girl because you’re real. You’re here, and you chose to love me every day— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Y/N), will you do me the honor and great privilege of allowing me to become your husband?” You silently sob.

“Please say yes.” Spencer smiles.

“Yes!” You exclaim, pulling him up to hug him. “How could I say anything but!”

The dam breaks, and the entire team begins to cry as you and Spencer share a passionate kiss, almost collapsing down onto the grass from the sheer force of your love. He slips the ring onto your finger; it belongs there.

“I choose you, (Y/N).” He repeats.

“I choose you, Spencer, always.” You whisper into the crook of his neck.

Nothing’s ever felt so right.

[thewhitejournal]

forgiveness .

(not my gif, credits to the owner)

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader Oneshot

requested by @lovely-lady-lumps : Could I request a Spencer Reid x reader? Spencer gives her the silent treatment and she gets sad and starts crying bc she thinks he wants HER to stop talking bc she talks too much? Sorry this one's kind of angsty.

I hope you like this request! I don’t usually write angst, so I wasn’t sure where to go with it. I hope what I came up with is to your liking. Sorry it took me so long. Enjoy all!

content warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of intravenous drug use

It had been what felt like years since Spencer Reid said anything to you other than sarcastic and hurtful remarks or talking about the case when you were paired up. You weren’t sure what was wrong with him, and all you wanted was to help him feel better, but he wasn’t letting that happen. His demeanor has changed drastically in the past couple of weeks. When you confided in JJ, hoping maybe she would have some answers, he got upset over that, too. He tried to tell you that it wasn’t anyone’s business, including yours. That’s not the case, however; the team needs to work together as a family and help each other if they want to stay focused on their very important jobs. So, in your opinion, whatever was upsetting the doctor was everyone’s business, including yours.

When you first met Dr. Spencer Reid, you were only a student, attending a seminar that he and one of your favorite authors David Rossi was putting on. You aspired to work cases as you’d read in Rossi’s books, and that’s where you ended up; a new agent trainee for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. You couldn’t have been happier to be working alongside not only your role model and idol but with the rest of the team, who you quickly warmed up to. The team was welcoming and supportive and kind. That included Spencer, but he treated you differently.

You weren’t a top-notch, veteran profiler like Hotch or Rossi, but it didn’t take one to notice the way Reid tumbled over his words when he spoke to you, avoiding eye contact and generally being shyer than usual. At first, you thought it was because he didn’t like you. You soon learned though that it was entirely the opposite; he was head over heels for you. The feeling was mutual. Not only was his brain attractive, but the way he acted with you made you feel at home; now it felt like Spencer had changed the locks and left you out in the dark.

The rest of the team had gone to the crime scene or the morgue, leaving you and Reid alone at the precinct. Hotch instructed that the two of you complete a geographical profile of the dumpsites, so you followed orders. The papers on the table were strewn everywhere, what with him throwing them about when he was finished with whatever information the piece of paper may have given him.

Something needed to be said; it wasn’t always that you had a moment alone with him, not to mention the seclusion from the rest of the police. The doors to the conference room were shut in an attempt to give the two of you peace to do your work, but it felt like you’d been locked up with an angry lion instead.

You exhaled heavily, your breath a little shaky. He didn’t even blink.

“You’ve changed, Spencer.”

Silence.

“But it’s somehow my fault, right? That’s why you’re giving me the cold shoulder and nobody else?”

No response, none verbal anyway. His eyebrows knitted together and you saw his knuckles turn whiter against the black ink pen he was scribbling with.

“Why can’t you just look at me?” Your tone grew angrier and more insistent. The black ink on the paper was bleeding through it; his pen quit moving, creating a dark circle on the page.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” His voice was low and gravelly; you almost didn’t recognize it. The pen returned to its dance in his hand. You scoffed.

“Then when is a good time for you? Because I sure as hell haven’t seen one.” The pain in your voice was apparent to you, you just hoped it was to him, too. Angry tears were bubbling up inside you; your throat felt like it was on fire.

“Goddamnit, (Y/N)! All you ever do anymore is pester me about how I’m doing, how many times do I have to tell you I’m fine? You’re not my damn therapist so quit acting like it. It’s getting old.” As the sentence went on, his voice grew louder. The pen had made its way across the room, and his hands were in his hair, head on the table. The tears made their inevitable appearance now, spilling down your cheeks rapidly and dotting the notebook in front of you. The blue lines on the pages smeared as you tried to wipe them off.

“What the hell happened to you, Spence?” Your voice broke, how could it not? He picked his head up from the table and looked into your eyes. Tears were coming from his, too. His lip involuntarily quivered; he bit down on it to make it stop.

He broke eye contact with you, but only to unbutton his sleeve and roll it up to his elbow. His eyes were glued to the skin there. Your eyes followed his. They landed on the track marks; the unaccounted for bottle of Dilaudid he was tortured with had found use in Spencer Reid.

“Spencer...why didn’t you tell me?” You got up from your seat, propping yourself on the edge of the table in front of him. His sleeve was being rolled back down and buttoned, eyes not meeting yours again. The new tears making stains on his cheeks told you enough, though.

“I-I didn’t want you to worry…” His soft tone returned to his voice, his eyes fixated on his hands in his lap.

“I just want to see you happy.” Your voice lowered, hand reaching out to rest on his shoulder. He didn’t flinch away as you expected. Instead, he stood and hugged you tightly.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N). You never talk too much and I should’ve let you in. You deserve so much better than the way I’ve been treating you. Please forgive me.” His chin rested on your shoulder, still in each other’s arms. You pulled back, looking into his eyes. He wiped a tear off your cheek, and you did the same to him, both of you smiling now.

“That’s not true. You’re everything I’ve wanted and more.” It came out as a whisper from your lips, Spencer leaning into you and you instinctively leaned into him, too. His lips softly kissed yours, something long-awaited from the both of you.

“You’re forgiven, pretty boy.”

[jpegjade]

Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmares)

SO remember how i told you guys that the next fic was gonna be angsty fluff? well i present to you the angstiest thing i have yet to write. (i had to reel myself back. i definitely went angstier but i decided not to go there this early in the game) - and yes, the title is a kid cudi song. 

Request: Okay another request… and I know you love to write angst so how about something where the reader is having a hard time sleeping bc of nightmares and has been trying her best to keep it from Spence but he obviously knows and tries to help?

__________________

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of one Spencer Reid. A brilliant young man whose life was cut short by the grips of life.” Some priest said, standing at the front of a podium. 

You were outside, standing under a tent with a group of people. You tried to look at their faces but it was like everything was in a haze. The priest continued talking but it’s like his voice slowed down, almost as if he went underwater somehow. You looked down, seeing yourself in your funeral dress. Was this real? 

“And now a few words from his fiance.” The priest motioned to you. 

It’s like your body started moving on its own. You walked to the front of the tent, in front of everyone. Slowly, their faces came into view. One by one, you recognized who you were looking at and all of them were crying. Even his mom was there, crying just as hard as everyone else. There wasn’t a dry eye in the tent area. 

“My heart is broken... “ You began, not sure where the words were coming from. Even now, you weren’t sure what was really happening but you started to piece things together. “The love of my life…” You started sobbing, the words getting caught in your throat.

“The love of my life is gone, taken by a cruel excuse for a man. If I could trade my life for his, I would in a heartbeat. His bright eyes, loving smile, he deserves the world and every good thing in it. And now… Now, I can’t give it to him…” 

You turned, looking at the coffin. He looked so peaceful, like no bad thing could touch him anymore. And that was true. He was relieved of his pain and suffering. Pressing your lips to his forehead one last time, you whispered, “I love you now and forever.” 

You woke with a start. You were drenched in sweat and sobbing, although it didn’t feel like it. Your tears were mixed with sweat. You wrapped your arms around your torso, rocking yourself as you tried to calm down. Your heart raced and there was a painful ache in your body. Something was missing, an empty hole inside of you. You tried to breathe but it felt absolutely impossible. Your chest was so tight with fear that you didn’t think you would ever calm down. 

Slowly, you began to breathe normally again. The room stopped spinning and you were able to loosen up enough to go get a glass of water. Your footsteps were quiet but your body felt so heavy. You struggled to stand up straight at the weight on your shoulders. Filling up your cup with water, you checked the time on the stove. It was only 11 PM. You must have fallen asleep early for you to wake up at this time. A few swallows later, you were ready to get back in bed. 

What the fuck was that dream… Shit Spencer. If that wasn’t a dream, if that was a memory, you were going to lose it. 

It was only 11 so you knew Spencer would still be awake, if not wrapping up at the office. When you used to sleep over at his apartment, he would stay up late because he had a cup of coffee late in the day and the effects were still hitting him. The two of you would stay up talking until one of you dropped. Sometimes, the conversations were good, all about how he was basically a superhero and you were a goddess, according to him. 

‘Hey, angel.” You melted at the sound of his voice. He was okay. 

“Hey yourself. How was work?” You asked, trying to keep things nonchalant. You just needed to hear him talk for a little bit and then you would feel better about everything going on. 

“It was tiring. I’ve been doing desk work since I hurt my leg.” He said, pretending to be annoyed. Or maybe he was annoyed, you couldn’t tell. 

You completely forgot he hurt his leg for a moment. All you could think about was that dream… 

“Do you want to come over?” He asked, disrupting your thoughts. You were glad but you were unsure about this. What if you had another nightmare? 

“I don’t know about that, Spence. I’m a little too tired to drive.” That was the only excuse you would think of to not go. “Don’t get me wrong, I would love to spend the night with you but I’m scared of falling asleep at the wheel.” 

“I like that you’re cautious. Well, I’m on my way home. Do you want me to swing by?” Spencer said, looking for a reason to stop by. 

“Only if you feel up to it.” You said, excited to have someone to help you stay awake. It would be easier to stay awake with your fiance there, right? 

20 minutes later, Spencer walked through your door. Immediately embracing you in a hug, he smelled of lavender and coffee. You weren’t sure how that worked but it did on him. 

“You’re always so cozy.” You said, face full of his sweater. It was beginning to be a long hug but you needed it. 

“Are you ready to actually let me inside?” Spence said, chuckling at the realization that it was becoming an extra long hug. 

“Inside of me or the apartment?” You laughed, finally letting go of him. 

“Your pick.” He said, smirking. 

“Get in here, you goofball.” You said, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside your apartment. 

The two of you laid on the couch, watching Doctor Who for a little while before you started to drift off to sleep. Your head in Spencer’s lap, legs up on the couch, Spencer just watched you drift to sleep, smiling at how rested you looked. 

“Spencer. Spencer, it’s me. You don’t have to do this. Please, baby. Just focus on me, okay?” You pleaded, your fiance’s back turned to you. 

“I can’t, y/n.” Spencer was crying, hard. “There’s so much darkness inside of me and I can’t navigate it. I can’t understand how to get rid of it. Some genius I am, right?” 

“Baby, no.” You took a couple tentative steps closer to him. You didn’t want him to get scared. 

“Yes. Yes. Yes. You say all these nice things about me and I can’t… I don’t understand.” He was still crying. That was a good sign. He still felt something. He wasn’t numb. 

“Spencer, listen to my voice. You’re not all dark, okay? That brilliant mind of yours isn’t going to figure it out if you give up now. Let me help you understand.” Your voice was hardly steady but it was just enough to keep him engaged. 

You kept inching towards him. Your hands were shaking still. You were almost there. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“Spencer!” You yelled, bolting upright. 

You fell asleep. Shit. But Spencer wasn’t holding you anymore. You didn’t see him. You also weren’t on the couch anymore. You were in your bed, shaking. 

“Hmm? I’m right here.” Spencer said, turning over. He pulled you into his arms and held you as you explained your dreams and how they were backward.

“Spence, I’m afraid to go to sleep. I can’t handle you being taken away from me.” You sobbed, trying to slow down. 

“Hey, you’re not going to lose me at all. We’ve got plans and things to accomplish. I wouldn’t dare leave you to your own devices.” He chuckled. 

Hearing Spencer make light of the situation helped a little bit. You knew it was his way of helping you through the situation before he turned serious again. 

“Y/n, dreams are less about the future and more about the subconscious. Your fears manifest in two second bits of information but your brain slows it down to read the information. What you’re suffering from is common under high pressure or stressful situations. I know you’ve been suffering from nightmares for a little while. You don’t ever want to tell me these things but I find out eventually.” He said, pulling you tighter to his chest. 

You could hear his heart, slow and steady. The blood pumping in your ears started to get quieter the more he spoke. 

“You’ve been sleepless for at least a week. You’ve been wearing more make-up to cover up the dark circles and exhaustion. You have had an excuse not to sleep over at my place for a little while. Your clothes are always wrinkled and you have been more forgetful lately because you’re so tired. I haven’t said anything because I wanted to give you space to figure it out since I know you’ll call me when you feel like I can help.” He paused. 

“You know I’m here for you, right?” He said, kissing the top of your head. 

“I know. But it’s so hard… I thought I had this under control.” You sighed, wrapping your arm around Spencer. 

“Baby, you have to ask for help sometimes. You have to know that some things aren’t going to happen because there’s no way in hell I would leave you. The only thing I’m sorry for right now is that I didn’t step in sooner. I didn’t think it would get this bad…” Spencer got progressively quieter the more he talked. 

“Spence, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. I just… I feel like you have enough to worry about. I want to be the sunshine in your life, the thing you look forward to seeing because I bring you joy.” You sighed. 

“I know. But you don’t have to do anything to give me that feeling, sunshine.” He said, smiling. “I come home to the most beautiful, smart, incredible girl in the world every day, when I’m not on trips, that is.” He chuckled. 

“Spence… You’re too sweet.” You said, burying your face into his chest. You didn’t even realize he was shirtless until you lifted your head and put it back down on his chest. 

“Sweet like sugar.” He said. He smirked in the low light of the lamp on your bedside table. 

“Spencer, that light was in my living room. Did you move it?” You asked, wondering why he would do something like that. 

“When I have nightmares, I find that it’s easier to get my bearings when I can see what’s around me. In the dark, anything can happen. In the dark, the monsters come out. But in the light, you’re able to see that you’re safe. So I moved it so you can wake up and recognize you’re safe with me.” Spencer said. 

“You’re the best, you know that?” You said, getting sleepy again. 

“And you’re mine.” He said, followed by a yawn. 

There was something different about when you fell asleep this time. You had more control, felt more peaceful and less nervous. You were able to breathe again knowing that Spencer was right there with you. For the first time in a little while, you were able to get a peaceful couple hours of sleep.