#not rereading this for grammar or whatever my phones about to die and I need to post this

[loverofstufflof]

Airing out my LMK trailer/S5 thoughts cause u gotta do this somehow

Most glaring, animation. It’s not bad, by any means. I’d certainly be proud of myself if I were able to come up with it.

However, I think it’s important to consider the context of the show’s style, and how it’s been improving significantly over instalments. Also, it’s Flying Bark. Flying Bark is just gonna make banger animation.

Am I a bit disappointed when comparing it to Emperor’s Wrath? Yeah. Especially when we’ve been waiting a full year for this—twice as long as usual.

But I’m not saying I won’t be watching the show because of it. I still love this story. Fuck, my favourite series is Epithet Erased. The show that’s best described as JPEGs wiggling around your screen for 2 hours. I can handle less than expected animation if it’s made up for by good writing.

I’ve been seeing a lot of people attacking invisible fans that claim they’re going to boycott the show because of this. Respectfully, source? The most aggressive criticism I’ve seen is “man that’s disappointing ig, still excited tho”. Who are you guys even fighting lmao. (Unless this is something happening on other platforms and you’re just venting on here which, valid)

Nevertheless, as I’ve said before, it’s not bad animation, just not up to the standard we’re used to. People are allowed to be disappointed. Let them be. This show isn’t flawless.

It’s looking to be real, all things considered. We’ve never gotten a fan leak this elaborate before, and it contains a lot of elements that were just recently revealed. Unless they’ve been getting announcements much earlier than we have (considering this fanbase’s sleuth skills, I’d doubt it) then there’s no other explanation other than it being official.

Official, however, doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed to look that way the whole time. The animation is being done by another studio, yes, but only partially. Flying Bark is still here for the fun. This other studio also isn’t incompetent, they’re behind things like Carmen Sandiego. They know what they’re doing.

They’re also primarily handling additional material, means promotions, meaning trailers. Listen, it’s a bit of a stretch considering the fact that all trailers so far have been taken directly from the show, but also it’s industry standard to make a trailer before you’re even done, meaning you gotta cut some corners for the scenes you’re showing until you polish them up in post.

We know LEGO has a habit of keeping LMK things in their vault until they need to, this may be something they had lying around from early prod and released to maintain hype.

Any which way, this development is very much temporary, only applying because the team is currently working on a movie and need to momentarily lessen their workload. Even if the odds are against us and S5 looks like a PowerPoint presentation, it’ll likely go back to normal later.

Biiig animation rant aside, I am a tad bit sad about the direction the story is going in (namely the abandonment of Red Son) and the fan service is a bit much, but honestly what else are we expecting from JTTW fanfic.

I’m stoked to see more Macaque though—he’s looking to be becoming a proper protagonist, which is great for angst! Yippee!

One thing I haven’t seen anyone talk about is the complete lack of Nüwa. You know, the character they’ve been teasing this whole time? Where is she? Not in the trailer. Not in the posters.

Makes me wondering if this is a part of the new season, teasing the next one, the one Nüwa’s in, later.

[furiosity-wills-the-cat]

Interview with a Fanfic Author Tag!

This game was originally posted by @/goldenavenger02. I was tagged by @a-conveniently-shaped-lamp​. All of Tali’s answers were so iconic and a mood ajfklsajkfl, also thank u for tagging me! I’m gonna follow what Tali did and answer these for the Undertale fandom.

1. Your favorite fic that you’ve written (or just one you want to give a shout out to).

I’m honestly super proud of myself every time i finish I fic in this fandom, they all have a special place in my heart. I’m really fond of all of my ghost!chara fics, I’m trying to write more soon because they have a special place in my heart. I think the one I’m most proud of so far is “whatever you do (just don't let the fire die)” https://archiveofourown.org/works/31927453 because it was fun to put the entire ghost family in one room. I really want to do that again soon.

2. Your favorite fic title that you’ve come up with.

Most of my Undertale fic titles are Owl City song lyrics so I don’t know if you could say I “came up” with them per se??? I do feel happy with the specific lines I chose though. I will say that no one but me knows my favorite fic title yet because it’s in one of my WIPs, and I’m not gonna spoil it before I finish or jinx it, but it comes from Fireflies lol

3.  How do you get inspiration to write?

I usually have to force myself to sit down and write a few sentences before I can get into the flow, but, even though I do get obsessed with specific ideas, I’m much more motivated by the act of writing and playing with metaphors and grammar and stuff than I am by the characters themselves? I love the characters and have plenty of ideas about them so I don’t need extra motivation there, but rereading phone calls or neutral ending flowcharts can help too. Honestly, I know this probably isn’t helpful, but hanging out with irl friends and doing activities I enjoy with other people is probably the most consistent way of giving myself both ideas for stories and energy to write.

4.  Your favorite genre/subgenre of fic to write.

Hurt/comfort is absolutely my favorite to write, and I think it definitely shows in my Undertale fics. I have a few very specific subsets of hurt/comfort that I love even more

I love hurt/comfort when one of both of the parties just flat-out Refuses to talk about their emotions or to admit that they’re not okay, and the other provides support even though they don’t know what’s wrong? It’s very fun to have ““miscommunication““ be a plot point but not even an issue bc the friendship is too strong. Bonus points for h/c fics where one of the parties literally doesn’t even know that the other is hurting bc they’re so good at pretending to be okay,, but somehow the comfort happens anyway bc just having another person there is enough for now?? It may not be healthy in real life but it is. SO fun to write.

Also I don’t think??? I’ve posted any of this for Undertale yet (i’ve definitely written some for me lol, I get to read so much more of my writing than anyone else haha) But I have a consistent pattern across fandoms of writing hurt/comfort fics wherein two characters "sleep together” but not in a nsfw way,, just,,, specifically two angsty idiots platonically having a depression nap together as they avoid their problems. It is my fatal weakness. If I keep writing UT fic I guarentee I will write one with this format because it is my weakness

5.  Do you have other hobbies?

So many!!! I’m very into math puzzles and rubik’s cubes. I also love to read lots of different things. Right now my biggest hobby is learning sign language which is very excellent bc it lets me wiggle my hands So Much all the time when I practice, AND it lets me meet new people!!

6.  A fun fact about you that a lot of people may not know.

I have heterochromia!! I’m just cute and quirky like that (falls down a flight of stairs because I’m blind in one eye and have no depth perception)

7.  Pick one character to self project onto, go!

I want!! to say alphys!!! so bad!!! because she’s so darn relatable!!! but somehow!!! every time!!! i end up projecting onto Metatton.

8.  Favorite genre of music.

Usually pop music lol. I get songs stuck in my head very easily if I hear them playing in public and then I listen to them on repeat

9.  Your favorite singer/band.

It changes constantly, but since I’m answering these for UT fandom I’m just gonna say Owl City bc he provides me my all lowecase song lyric titles

10.  And finally, how has your experience in fandom been?

Better than I expected!! People have been very nice and so supportive!!! I love u all!!

i feel like most of the people I know in the UT fandom have already been tagged but if u see this and havent been tagged, feel free to pretend i tagged u

[blackevermore]

x Secrets of The Lake: The Company of Misery and Pain

{ Chapter 11 }

Summary: Vladimir Masters’ family tree has always been tainted by secrets swept under the rug. From generation to generation there have been countless reasons the Masters’ family had seemed to keep private from the public. Even to this day, Vladimir was no exception. But what was one to do when a restless spirit from the settlement years finally breaks free from restraints and demands you answer for your ancestor’s crimes? Vladimir doesn’t know. However, Clockworks does.

Notes: We just having fun, rewriting some of the canon, new adventure new characters. I will apologize now for any grammar, spelling, weird sentence structuring in advance. My brain writes faster than my fingers and even when I go back through to reread it I still miss things. Sorry about that!

Word Count: 3399

P.s: I’m lowkey in love with Kate....

Vlad should have known Miss Way would have a way with words as he held the phone between his cheek and shoulder. She was currently stuck at the airport as her flight had been delayed twice to Virginia but somehow her luggage was already heading there.

“With all due respect Kate, why did you feel the need to call and inform me of this?” Vlad took hold of the phone and smirked, not like he minded the call but honestly it was pointless.

“I felt the need to tell the man who was paying for this. I didn’t want you calling me and asking me how things were going if I was still stuck here.” Vlad could have sworn he heard a snicker through her monotone voice. “This could have been avoided if you allowed me the ride on your jet. Or are assistants not allowed there?”

“Actually the jet was due for a recall repair, that’s why I booked you a first class ticket.”

“Whoa is me, billionaires are liars, very well, but I did think it was best to call and tell you, Sir.” Kate huffed on the other side of the phone and Vlad could hear her pulling the phone away to talk to someone else. Then she pulled the phone back sounding a bit happier but still emotionless. “Oh well, I guess calling you did the trick. I should have told them I was your daughter or something earlier. My flight is in 30 minutes so I will be arriving in Virginia at 9 pm, our time.” Vlad turned to the clock in his office amazed at how fast time had flown by today. It was nearly seven in the evening and Vlad had yet to actually talk to Tayonna.

Speaking of the ghost he looked over to her and she still sat quietly in the chair gripping the fabric of her dress. She looked lost in thought staring towards the ground and Vlad felt the tug at his heart. He quickly turned away and realized Kate was still talking to him.

“Did you hear a word I said?” Kate asked.

“I’m afraid not, I’m currently working on loose emails and documents. You wouldn’t mind repeating yourself?” Vlad cleared his throat and looked down at the real documents he left unfinished days before. He groaned as the lie became reality and picked up his red pin to actually start working.

“I said I will report back to you after I visit the state records office.” Kate sighed and Vlad could only imagine she was rolling her eyes and slowly tapping her foot.

“Very well, thank you once again, Miss Way, Good night.” Vlad hung up the phone with a click and sighed, he undid the first two buttons on his shirt and fixed his hair before settling back into his chair. In due time he had gotten lost in his work rereading due days and trade off agreements with typos a young intern had made. How could anyone actually have these documents looked over twice before being handed to their boss and not caught certain mistakes? 

Vlad finished up marking down a document and putting it back in a folder to be sent back to the office to be rewritten. Tomorrow he was going to have to sit down with the writing team and remind them that business had no room for typos. Especially for ones that make it to his desk and he catches them. He wasn’t an overly strict boss with no sense of morality, not anymore at least, but he took the presentation of business very seriously. 

“You always work so hard Vladan, you’ll always be so stressed.” Tayonna spoke and it made Vlad look up in confusion. First off, his name was not Vladan and he wasn’t sure how many times he would have to tell her that. And second, working himself hard was the only way things ever got done.

“Miss Tayonna I’ve told you countless times I am not Vladan.” Vlad deadpanned her and shook his head before looking back down. Tayonna's face twisted in confusion then dropped as she turned away once more. Vlad noticed and it piqued his curiosity, did he look so much like the man she called him? Every time they locked eyes or she looked at him she always saw someone else before it melted away. Every sour interaction they had was due to the red mist showing up and Tayonna wasn’t truly attacking Vlad but whatever that thing was. Even back at the pond, he understood now the red mist was her target and had tried to find safety in him.

“You look so much like him...so much like him,” Tayonna whispered in sadness, she brought a leg up to rest her head against and that’s when Vlad noticed she was barefoot. He wanted to tell her off for sitting inappropriately in a very expensive chair like some child. But it was best for him to bite his tongue and swallow it, hopefully, if she was going to be sticking around he could teach her to sit properly. Vlad put down his pen and crossed his fingers in front of his face.

“My name is Vladimir but I much rather you call me Vlad.” Vlad told himself he couldn’t really need to be on a first name basis with the ghost if he was going to get rid of her quickly. What would it matter when this was all over and he could get back to his normal life? When he put her to rest would she just go back into the Ghost Zone or would her core fizzle out and she finally passes on? Vlad wasn’t sure, maybe that’s why he told her his corrected name, just in case she was to be another core floating around at least she knew who he was.

“Vlad?” Tayonna finally looked back up to him with disheartening eyes. “He would have been so upset if someone called him that.” Vlad could see she almost wanted to laugh but she held it back through a broken weak smile.

“Well I get upset when someone says my full name spitefully. I am not him so please try to correct yourself from now on.” Vlad gave her a coy smile, then rose from his chair with a crack in his back. It was well into the night and he could feel the need for a shower and sleep nagging at him. Checking the clock again it was only 8:30 and he grumbled as he could hear the children mocking him from miles away of being an old man. He wasn’t old, maybe not physically, he could stay up if he wanted to, but the way his sheets felt after a long day told him it was best to just be old mentally. If he wanted his beauty sleep he very much was going to have it.

“I think it’s best we try and talk in the morning, for now let's head to bed.” Vlad said calmly and held out his hand for her due to habit. Tayonna didn’t take it and stood up to follow him. Ghost didn’t actually need sleep, Vlad of course knew that, to a degree nor did he if he stayed in his ghost form. He had done so many times while studying the Ghost Zone on endless night trips. He found that as a ghost he could do a lot more with himself than being a human. That also includes eating, though ghosts did have their own form of eating. They fed off energy and raw forms of ectomatter. Out of curiosity Vlad had tried it and actually liked it, it did help him feel a lot more energized but he much rather preferred his home cooked meals that awaited him.

“Pray tell, would you be hungry by chance?” Vlad looked over his shoulder at Tayonna and the girl shook her head no. Vlad Hummed and continued out the office and towards the grand stairs. He led the way to the guest room Tayonna had been in and the girl became hesitant to go in. Vlad sighed and rubbed his temple and shook his head. “I’m not locking you in here, this is just where you will be staying for the time being. Unless you wish to go back to your little pond.”

“No!” Tayonna snapped back and lowered her head quickly before moving past Vlad and into the room. Vlad knew that everything around her seemed so weird. She was from the past and had no idea what the 21st century was like. She could be curious but he doubts she would go snooping around. Vlad let out a yawn and that seemed to be contagious as Tayonna did the same. The girl then rubbed her eyes and blinked a couple of times. Vlad felt his core grow hot for a moment then die down as he looked upon her. Tayonna walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, she felt the comforter and then the sheets and that seemed to surprise her. Guess she never thought she would ever sleep on silk.

“You are more than free to roam around the house if you don’t find yourself tired. Though I would advise you didn’t and stayed soundly in your room. Goodnight.” Vlad grabbed the door handle and began to close the door. However, he only got it half way as he felt the need to hear her say it back. He never allowed anyone to finish their farewells unless it was Dani or even Maddie. He would normally say his and be on his way like hell was hot on his heels. But holding the door handle and standing so still he almost longed to hear it from Tayonna. 

When he realized she wasn’t going to say it he lifted his hand and left, leaving the door still half open. Once he made it to his room and slid through the giant doors. He ran his fingers through his hair knocking out his ponytail. His white locks fell to his shoulders and the few stands of black fell right in front of his eyes. He took hold of it and twirled it around before pushing it back and heading to the shower. At least tonight he hoped he wouldn’t have any more of those dreams or memories or whatever they have been. Vlad was certain he would rather dream of taking Maddie out on a lovely romantic date, than being dragged along for whatever Tayonna was doing.

  Vladan held his breath as he watched Luther and Tayonna in the garden harvesting vegetables. The summer had finally begun and the crops his family grew were already growing with pride. So much so his father became worried it was too good to be true. Of course his mother assured him that he had bought a good patch of land and should be happy. Vladan however knew the truth. The truth was 5 feet tall and 6 inches long and never wore the shoes given to her even when she walked through the house. Vladan wanted to tell someone what he found out, or even confront his brother about allowing a witch into the house. Surely he was mad! Being from the German empire meant their parents were very religious and held the name of god in good faith. Unlike Vladan, Luther tended to do the same, haven’t reached the age of understanding his own faith in the world. Maybe this was his silent rebellion?

“He has grown close to her,” the gentle voice of his mother pulled Vladan away from the window hastily. He dropped the curtain and the woman only giggled before pulling it back and tying it to the wall. She looked out and glazed upon her youngest and the servant then hummed. “But it is best if he doesn’t become too attached to her, that is not acceptable neither here or at home.” Vladan looked back through the window trying to see what his mother saw but all he could focus on was Tayonna.

“How did she end up here?” Vladan asked. Tayonna told him but he preferred to hear it from someone else. Maybe the girl had been lying and used her magic to trick them.

“We were passing through the town square when we noticed an auction. Your father told us to ignore it as he was almost done and we would be heading back home. But your brother, as sick as he was, snuck off and got closer to the platform and held up his hand to bid. I tried to stop him but he had this look in his eyes that told me to trust him. We already have two servants at home I told him but he shook his head and said we needed another. Within a few minutes, your brother pointed out towards that girl and bought her. Luckily she already knew English so there was no trouble in getting her along and she came with a name.” Vladan’s mother wrapped her shawl around herself tighter with a worried expression.

“I thought we do not fair in that business like the English?” Vladan whispered beside his mother as he continued to watch the girl outside hard at work. She would occasionally hand Luther her basket and the boy would hurry off to empty it. Vladan finally broke away from the window and looked down at his mother. Over the years he wasn’t sure if he had gotten taller or she had become smaller.

“We don’t, Luther knows that but still, he insisted he buy her. Your father was confused but allowed it. I will say having her around almost feels magical, she is very obedient and polite. And my garden is always in full bloom even after a storm.” Vladan’s mother smiled as she continued to speak about her flowers and how much she loved them. Vladan drowned her out as he turned back towards the window and continued looking at Tayonna. Just then the girl straightened her back and held her basket in hand and her bright green eyes stared right back at him. He felt his breath slip away once more.

  Vlad wasn’t too sure if allowing a ghost to stay at his home while he was gone was a good idea. Let alone a ghost he couldn’t be too sure would even want to stay. Sipping his coffee he hadn’t the slightest idea where she was. When he went to the guest room she wasn’t there, he checked around elsewhere but still no sign of her. Before long Vlad found himself in the kitchen. He should have been on high alert considering she could be breaking something. But oddly enough he was calm and told himself after he had his coffee he would call for her. As his cup started to run low he lowered his eyes and hummed, it was rather quiet with Dani being away. 

He was ready to hear some outrageous comment about how impatient she was for the summer to get here or about some crazy dream she had. Or he could have asked her why she missed her 4th period class yesterday as he was informed with a phone call. Vlad smirked and thought of all the excuses she could come up with within five seconds. His thoughts came to a close as he peered up to the clock to check the time and saw he only had 20 minutes to spare before having to hustle out the door. 

He supposed now was a good time to go look for Tayonna and give her the rundown he still wasn’t too sure about. He could call Skulker to come to watch her but Vlad knew the way the tech ghost ran off from the lip would cause a fight. Vlad was about to walk out of the kitchen until something caught his attention in the corner of his eye. He turned around to look out the bay windows and that's where he found Tayonna sitting in his garden. 

She had her knees pulled up to her chest as she held a few flowers in her hand. She still wore that sad expression on her face that seemed to never go away. Vlad walked over to the window and tapped it and signalled for her to come in. Next to the windows were sliding doors which must have been the way she got out. Vlad opened the door as she got closer and moved out the way when she stepped inside. He looked down and saw that her feet weren’t dirty.

“Miss Tayonna I have to go out for a while and as much as I wouldn’t like to leave you here, I have to. I would prefer if you stayed in your room until then but if you wish to venture outside you can keep yourself busy. Or if you wish you may go to the Ghost Zone.” Vlad fixed his bowtie and straightened out his shirt as he spoke making sure he looked ready to conquer the day.

“I can’t go back there,” Tayonna said and looked down at her hands as if they were still something so abnormal to her. “I’ll stay here.” Tayonna then reached a hand up to her neck towards the collar and huffed as she was reminded of its existence.

“Very well, but please refrain from being too curious while I’m gone. When I return we shall work on whatever it is that keeps you restless.” Vlad nodded his head towards her then began to walk out of the kitchen. He grabbed his suit jacket and double checked himself in the full length mirror before grabbing his keys and ghosting out the door. This time there was no goodbye or see you later. Tayonna slowly walked out the kitchen and stared at the door. 

Vlad had no idea that she already tried to leave during the night while he slept. But the pain in her core felt like it started to burn every time she walked further away from the house. She then noticed when the moon was high in the sky above her, her skin started to crack and break away like ashes. In a panic she stumbled back to the mansion. She had managed to make it back to his property before the moon fell back behind the horizon and the sun began to wake. She fainted in the garden and when she finally woke up she was laying in a bed of roses.

Tayonna felt completely at the mercy of a man who shared the face of someone long ago. If this damn collar wasn’t around her neck she would feel a bit safer. But for now all she could do was whatever he asked for and hope another tragedy didn’t await her. Tayonna started towards the stairs to go back to the room given to her. As she climbed the stairs she felt a hand touch her back and it scared her. She turned around and stumbled up the stairs as she saw the red mist and a hand reaching for her again. Without her powers she was completely helpless and that made the pit in her stomach fill with terror. The mist started to swirl into itself then shape into a person. Tayonna’s eyes grew wide and she shook her head.

“Get away from me! Go away!” Tayonna yelled through tears and stumbled up the stairs a bit more before finally finding her footing and making it the rest of the way. She finally found the hallway and ran inside the room. She pulled back the blankets on the bed and dove under them.

“Go away....please go away...stop touching me.” She cried and hoped the mist didn’t follow her. She felt like a child while hiding but there was something comforting about being completely hidden. She wouldn’t dare stick her head out to see if the mist was above her or if she got away from it. For now, she would stay here the whole time. A few blocks away Vlad sat at a red light and felt the tug on his core that something was wrong. He passed it off as heartburn as the light turned green and drove to work.

[fireflyskitters-postgrad]

Chatbots and mantras

1.

This afternoon, I was studying how to make chatbots for work. 

Chatbots have a reputation for being unreliable—in fact, there’s a website devoted to explaining why chatbots fail (made by frustrated UX designers). The whole idea of a chatbot is ambitious: it needs to talk and listen like a human being, and success is when the real, breathing person on the other side of the screen never suspects there’s anything amiss with the conversation. This means that the bot should be able to process language—a fiendishly complicated task, because for all of language’s grammars and conventions, it’s too fluid and versatile to be broken down into specific, foolproof rules. 

What usually happens is the chatbot does fine at first, but stutters when you say something unpredictable, or not listed in any of its use cases. The chatbot then apologizes bashfully: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying.” Then it retreats to familiar territory, repeating what it was asking you before you veered away from its logic. 

The kind of chatbot I’m supposed to make isn’t aiming so high. It’s only for social media: a Messenger chatbot, so that when people comment on a certain Facebook post, the bot sends them a one-on-one message (along with a gift, maybe an eBook or a blog post link). Once you’ve gotten your foot into the door, you can use the conversation to send updates or content that your target would otherwise miss. Messenger is where we talk to our faraway friends, anyway—trumping phone calls or text messages, although I hope not face-to-face interaction—and people read Facebook messages much more than they do emails. 

Because I was curious about the etiquette for Messenger chatbots—when are you being spammy?—I ended up discovering a hybrid: Messenger newsletter bots. These are exactly what they sound like: you can send newsletters through Messenger, with buttons for sharing or liking your posts. 

If businesses are engaged in any sort of war—marketplace war, talent war, whatever, almost everything’s competitive now—the most important one would have to be for attention. Facebook is the best battleground. Products like Messenger chatbots are created because attention is such a precious and scarce commodity—and sometimes we, the consumers, don’t even realize we’re giving away all of it for free, too distracted to withdraw consent. 

2. 

This morning, I was picking which mantra to stick with forever. 

I’d gotten frustrated about perpetually feeling purposeless and empty, and a wise listener online suggested that maybe I should look into spirituality. 

I replied that I had. She said, “Then, if you’ve really found it, you’re not supposed to be like that.” 

To my surprise—I had no idea who she was or what her interests were—she suggested the Bhagavad Gita, a classic Hindu text that I’d had to read before for class, and then reread with a better, more humane translation, and completely forgot about. The version I’d read was translated by Eknath Easwaran, who wrote a lot of books about Eastern philosophy. One of them was about mantra meditation, and I went with that—didn’t have the energy and solemnity to sit down for a complete reading of the Bhagavad Gita, a sacred text as respected as the Bible.   

Mantras, in a sense, have become mainstream—anyone who’s been exposed to Western pop culture knows about  cross-legged yogis chanting “Om.” In Hinduism, the world didn’t start with a Big Bang: it started with a big Om, arguably the religion’s most important mantra—and representative of God. Hinduism has two senses of the divine, though. One is the impersonal Absolute, which is everywhere, which you can’t touch or perceive with the senses; the other is warmer, more impersonal, the spark that’s possessed by everything—the soul, in human beings. The book advocates connecting with the more personal divinity, which is strongly embodied by figures like Jesus, Krishna, Allah, and Buddha—and they each have their own mantras.   

Every religion has a significant mantra. For Christianity, it’s “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us,” or “Kyrie… eleison,” or even “Hail Mary,” and Hinduism has “Rama, Rama” and “Om Namah Shivaya” (which got increased publicity, thanks to Eat Pray Love). I went with Buddhism’s classic “Om Mani Padme Hum,” which literally translates to “Behold! The jewel is in the lotus.” 

Esoteric much? Well, millions of Tibetan Buddhists have chanted it ever since childhood. As for the symbolism, Buddhists adore the lotus because it grows only in mud—and manages to produce the most beautiful, delicate flowers. Similarly, the hope is for us to encounter life in all of its messy, dirty glory and still emerge like the lotus—to transcend all of the suffering, and grow into wisdom and compassion. 

According to the book, you’re supposed to choose one mantra and chant it in your head for years—until it becomes deeply ingrained in your consciousness, so that it reverberates in your dreams, so that it thrums through you without any effort anymore on your part. A story from Christianity says that if you die with “Hail Mary” on your lips, you pass straight to heaven. Of course, to die with a mantra on hand isn’t as simple as gasping it out desperately with your last breath—this can only happen through years and years of practice, when you’ve carved the very words into your soul. When Gandhi was assassinated, the last words he said were “Rama, Rama,” and it’s safe to say that he accepted his death without any resentment, with no hatred towards his killer.

3.

So: creating a chatbot, part of the cutting-edge wave of 2017. But also: reciting mantras thousands of years old, om mani padme hum.  The new and the ancient, the mind and the heart. 

And just yesterday, I was playing around with Flat.io—a really cool website, I recommend it—and composing a 30-second tune. 

How to deal with contradictions, how to accept a self that you can’t understand.