#not that I still don't get that way hAHA but it's less anxiety induced I guess? shRUG

[salamispots]

every time I make fake store ads/product designs I'm just like

[cryingyetcourageous]

Headcanon: Essential Tremor

One of my favorite ways to make headcanons is to overanalyze canon and keep extending it to realistic conclusions. Like, Raivis shakes a lot. He's the only one I'm aware of where, rather than it being for a quick bit joke, it carries on and is seen in many interactions, even being acknowledged by other characters. It could easily be dismissed as "lol, lil scared guy is shaky, haha, he's so nervous" but guys-

He has also, canonically, had his spine crushed so severely that it's stunted his growth. Dude has nerve damage. Can you imagine what being pushed down on for centuries to the point of reducing someone's height by no less than 10 cm would do to the central nervous system? He's not scared all the time: he's got an injury-induced disability (not that shaking solely due to mental illness would be any less valid; Anxiety is a diagnosis, not a moral failure).

So, I carry that further-

In a situation like that, it makes sense that heightened emotions would worsen symptoms, but it probably wouldn't be limited to anxiety: being excited/happy or angry would exacerbate it, too. Any swing of the pendulum away from "neutral/calm" would excite his nervous system and make the shakiness more noticeable, as would physical activity. He's just as likely to shake when he's excited to see an old friend again as he is when an asshole driver nearly hits him as he's crossing the street. Positive emotions can be just as strong and, technically, just as disruptive.

But he's also found ways to manage, some healthy, some less so. At home, he probably uses a lot of wooden, metal, or plastic dishware. Personally, I lean towards him preferring wooden for bowls/plates and reusable plastic for cups... but he still has ceramic mugs. He will risk them shattering because it feels wrong to drink tea in anything else, and besides, he gets free mugs from events all the time.

He writes a bit more slowly than some people, and rather than fighting himself on trying to make smooth, coherent lines/curves, he instead "sketches" his letters. Multiple short strokes. He's tried typing instead, but for him personally, that's slower. For particularly long meetings, he does his best, but usually gets copies of notes from Liet or Eesti. (He used to make audio recordings, but between the background noise of people speaking over the presentations and the security risk, that's not a great option.)

For hobbies, he's found work-arounds. Playing the kokle is the one that took the longest to adjust to since it relies so heavily on fine motor skills, but because his tremor is usually rhythmic/consistent, he's learned to work with it so long as he doesn't play for too long, which tends to make it more exaggerated and less predictable. Crochet and knitting are much the same - short sessions with breaks. Singing isn't too affected as long as, again, he doesn't overdo it. Other hobbies aren't really impacted much.

I usually write him with a stutter, which is less because of nerves themselves and more because his voice wavers and, when it does so, he has a habit of trying to say the word/syllable again. Some sounds are more difficult than others, like "y". I don't know how to explain it except that y moves from one part of the mouth to another, and that "movement" gives a lot of room to extend too far. It also tends to be worse at the beginnings of sentences or directly after pauses. When he's really deep in thought and sort of thinking outloud, he stutters less because he's too distracted to notice his voice wavering. When he's more excited, positively or negatively, it often worsens because he's trying to get this thought/idea/feeling across and is more aware of every little "slip up" in his delivery, more likely to stumble over himself.

He's noted to have an alcohol tolerance that should be physically impossible for someone his size (40 "glasses" of alcohol. It doesn't specify kind, but regardless, that would give someone his size a BAC of 1.74 [beer] to 13.95 [spirits]). It's not a stretch to think of it as self-medicating, both in response to mental health because he has put up with so much shit jfc give him a break and also because alcohol is... a depressant! Alcohol is proven to reduce essential tremors. However, this is a very shitty fix because alcohol withdrawals significantly exacerbate them, so it's not great.

Anyways thanks for coming to my TEDtalk

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

I’m so excited for Nameday and SugarDaddy!Daemon. He better be sending enough gifts and jewelry to sink three large ships as Babey’s gifts. Or maybe he’ll just strip down and put a bow around his di- 😉 He’d be cringe like that lol. Or what if he “pretends” to give total control to Babey reader for her Nameday but somehow ends up topping from the bottom? These are less requests and more just me purging my thoughts cause you probably already have the plot for Nameday lol.

And for the dragon fire thing, yeah I guess that does make sense. I always forget that it’s supposed to be cold and windy when they’re flying super high. I always kind of thought of dragons as like, walking space heaters in a sense and their warmth keeps their riders comfy in the air so it doesn’t feel cold but I guess even if you’re warm you can still feel that your surroundings are cold?

Please give us more tidbits of Babey being good at diplomacy and keeping peace between the great houses because someone in that family needs to be 😅 Also I think that’s a good way to make her more badass while still keeping the general vibe of her character. She doesn’t give off “YA protagonist who’s awesome at weaponry despite only training for a week” vibes and she hasn’t been training since childhood either so she’d be very behind unless she was unusually talented in weaponry. It would be cool if Babey became good at making poisons and stuff because she’s an academic and maybe she found an untranslated book of Dothraki poison or something and that piqued her interest. But at the same time I don’t think she’d be cold enough to be ordering the poisoning of people. She could probably if they pushed her far enough but idk. Her being good at making allies also kind of mirrors the vibe she and Daemon and she at athfiezar have in a way. Like don’t touch the princess because she has her psycho husband and scary dragon. Except now it’s don’t touch the princess because she made powerful alliances with great houses.

I’m trying to relax this break but waiting for my results is so anxiety-inducing. I hate it so much especially since my profs don’t have TA’s and they need to take time to grade. It’s mostly been essays and short answer type exams so I’m hoping the sucking up I did this semester helped. 😅I’m trying to take my mind of it by binge reading and watching Netflix shows. Sorry for the longish post lol. I hope you get lots of presents this year!

-💎

Oh, don't you worry, Daemon's gonna be his best disgusting self! He's essentially gonna fuck her awake in the WORST way (I think I mentioned the plot of that in an ask from a few days back), then birthday celebrations, then fuck her when she's stripped of everything but probably the most expensive thing he got her (which I'm imagining is just some absolute monstrosity of a necklace tbh). A treasure for his treasure, ya know what I'm saying?

Oh yeah, like, I have an electric blankie that makes my bed NICE and WARM, but the air on my face is still fucking freezing in the winter; same sorta vibes I guess with dragon-riding, haha. Warm where you're touching the lizard-beast, cold as shit everywhere else. Wind slapping you in the face, making your eyes water, air rushing in your ears - the whole jazz.

I'm definitely leaning into one of the more underutilised tropes when writing female characters with Babey - don't get me wrong, I LOVE a badass fighting reader/OC when executed well, but Reader's purpose was never to defend the family or to rule or to BE a badass. She would quite literally have been raised to marry off to whomever it made sense to give her to when the time came, either to build external political ties or strengthen the Targaryen bloodline. As a result, she's not going to have those 'badass' qualities - she's shy and quiet and obedient because she's been indoctrinated since she could form reasoning that a woman's role is to be shy and quiet and obedient. Her curiosity and intelligence are allowances provided for by an indulgent if absent father, which is perhaps the only thing that has given her an edge. She's never going to be a source of militant strength or the object of fear - but that in itself lends an interesting dynamic, because it makes her role in amongst so many dominating characters in the lead-up to the Dance a difficult one.

I feel like we get so caught-up in the idea that a powerful woman can only be powerful if she emulates traits traditionally seen as masculine; such as physical strength or aptitude, dominance/control and verbosity, for example (not saying these are "men's traits", but rather that they are more likely to be traditionally associated with men). But there is power in femininity - in quiet and courtesy, in warm manipulation and softness, in kind words and calculated inaction. We can already see Babey weaponising some of these things against the people around her (*ahem* DAEMON), and it can even be argued that Alicent does something very similar (in the show, at least). I love badass, heroine Readers and characters so much, but I ultimately feel that Babey's greatest strength is in the process she is undergoing in learning how to use the behavioural structure of Westerosi society to further her own ends. And - failing that - she does have the Cannibal and Daemon. It isn't a weakness to default to other characters to provide the intimidation that you perhaps lack; I'd call it outsourcing, even, utilising a resource for your own benefit. When her words and her courtesies fail her, she has the surety of knowing that Daemon and Athfiezar will remedy the issue with fire and blood. That'll create an interesting dynamic; when someone deals out the consequences with their own hand, you know who to hate for the violence that has ensued. But... if someone else has done so on Babey's behalf? Well, it isn't her fault, is it?

Lol, I'm so sorry you're so stressed! I hope that you get the results you've been hoping for! Please make sure to chill and unwind; I know it isn't helpful exactly, but remember what's done is done and there's no changing the results, so what will be will be! Thank you so much for the well-wishes, I hope you have a lovely break and get everything you want for Christmas. See ya soon!

[strawberry-milktea]

I don't have a mindset that says "I'm better than everyone else and I don't need help from others"...but sometimes I have a mindset that says "Don't let anyone else know you need help--don't let anyone look down on you and think you're weak/stupid." And I know it's basically the same thing because when you boil it down, pride is what's left. I figure God is going to humble me somehow to get rid of it, but do you have any advice you can give to lessen the pain that'll come with it, haha

Hi!

One piece of advice I can give is to never be afraid to ask for help. You aren’t meant to figure out everything on your own.. In addition to God always being with us, He provides us with people who have more experience and knowledge in whichever task or challenge we might be facing who can share what they know. When you find yourself worrying that you will come off “stupid” or “weak”, remember that the person whose help you’ll receive was once in your shoes. Nobody ever starts out as an expert knowing everything, no matter what it is.

Unfortunately, some people do lose sight of what it was to start in that spot and don’t have empathy for the person starting out. I’ve personally experienced these types of individuals several times in the work environment. But thank goodness that’s not how everyone is. So if you come across people who seem to resent giving their help or make comments that make you feel “weak” or “stupid”, remember that this is a problem with them, not you. Always keep in mind that it’s normal to need exposure to and practice with a task in order to truly learn it. If you should find you’ve encountered a person like this, maintain a calm attitude and if possible, avoid relying on the person who treats you this way. Instead, try to get the help you need from someone who has patience and is kind to those who are still learning.

Also, if your pride tries to convince you that people will think poorly of you for needing help, keep in mind how much of a relief it is when you get the support you need! Not asking for help when you genuinely need it is anxiety-inducing and only increases the confusion of the situation. But it’s really a great, calming feeling when someone gives you the help you need in a patient and caring way and you see yourself learning/growing as a result. But you won’t know the relief of that feeling unless you set your pride aside and ask for help when you need it.

Whenever it comes to matters of worrying what others think of you (which I admit I struggle with at times; though with His help, not as much as I once did), I try to remember what His Word says about this:

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” - Galatians 1:10

When pride is at play, many slip into the trap of seeking the approval of flawed human beings - which sometimes leads to decisions and actions that He disapproves of. We should always love others and be concerned if our behavior reflects a poor example of Christ to others. It’s not inherently bad to be concerned about how we are perceived by others - meaning we should be concerned from a spiritual perspective if anything of our behavior could potentially misrepresent Christ to others and/or hurt our ability to witness for Him and help others learn of the Good News. But we should not be worrying what others think in the fleshly sense, such as the root of that concern being our own pride and caring about being approved of or seen as “worthy” in the eyes of others. What truly matters is His approval.. when you consider the fact that by accepting Christ you’ve been made righteous in His eyes, are seen as blameless, and have been given eternal life, it becomes easier to feel less self-conscious about what others think of you in this short time we have here.

I hope you found this helpful, let me know if you would like to discuss this more!