#not worth many marks since theyre the first in the year and i can have a little bit of an excuse w the week i lost when i was accidentally

[seethinglikeme]

missed my art and maths lessons bc i’m so tired 😐

[jxpcloud]

journey into addiction

this might be a bit of a triggering one even for me

im coming to terms with alot of shit tbh and one thing most therapists like you to talk about is your childhood. dint get me wrong im pretty sure i had a good childhood. my parents spit up when i was 7 but that was the only "bad" thing that happened in my childhood and honestly it wasnt bad, they split up because theyre lives were going in different directions which is weird considering they had two kids but they had been together since they were 17 so i kinda get it. but im currently being treated for bipolor or bpd (they are commenly confused) and both hold strong to childhood trauma. you do not need to have childhood trauma to develop these its just more common. thinking about it i dont know much from my childhood. and childhood being a very big term as i have to think from the ages of 2-16 and im only 17 but my brain has block alot of shit out and sometimes i feel sad and i cant even remember why cause my brain has just decided to not let me know what flashbacks im having. im awear im having flashbacks to possibly somwthing traumatic but i dont even know what but it stunns me for a while to say the least.

anyway i was doing a deepdive on myself which, inherently dangerous, did bring back a memory. self harm. theres a trend circulating on tiktok at the moment where people reveal stupid shit theyb did and tell theyre youngerselves that its not worth it and many that come up to me are self harm related. i had a think back to when i first started to injure myself and i remeber 11yo me taking a compass to my arm. even then i felt pathetic because i was too nervous about an actual blade but it made decent marks that healed in a matter of days and that continued on for a while. but what pushed me to do that? i mean it couldve been the media i was exposed to alot of that kinda stuff peak 2016 tumblr tbh or maybe i wanted something phisical to externalize what i felt on the inside. i mean i wont sugar coat it, i saw people with marks and thought i should have marks too since im also stuggling with my mental health. not the smartest idea but thats how i made the pain physical. anyways i didnt get found out until i was 14, nothing really had changed but i was using a badge now that had a bend in it leaving the needle more exposed and sharp. mother had taken that away from me pretty quick but continued to not understand and took the classic approach that i just was attention seeking and then proceeded to give me no attention. shes alot better now at understanding. but its an addiction and i contuned up until maybe three weeks ago, my boyfriend saw some fresh ones and genuinly hugged me and gave me something that i needed to hear. i cant promise that i wont relapse and i didnt, but i promised to communicate and thats more impostant as its better than thinking im stopping cold turkey.

this wasnt really my point.

back into early childhood, primary school days, i had extreme anxiety. this is one of the only things i can remember. i remeber when kids were running and having fun i was worried about getting sunburn, or falling or genrally getting into trouble. its honestly concerning that nobody picked up how horrifically anxiety ridden i was as a child but i was just labled as one of those kids. a distinct memory i had was barely getting told off by my mum for something and refusing to eat for the rest of the day while i was in my room uncontrollably sobbing and hitting myself with the heaviest book in there. i was five. she probably thought i was throwing a strop but i remeber beating myself u til everything stung and i was exhausted. i didnt really get told off as a child and i think that was probably the only time but i would always feel so guild ridden that when i did make a mistake, when when told it was fine, i would continue to deny myself food and beat myself until i was a mess of tears and bruises. this is genuinly going on five to six year old me. its no wonder really how i developed an eating disorder thinking about it. but my violent tendencies started at five years old and have developed into more violence and years of trauma that i caused myself. no one really teaches kids how to handle there emotions, probably because they dont usually handle them like i did but someone should probably teach kids this shit before they destroy theyre little bodies

so yeah self harm is a tought action nailed down by addiction and the weird happy feeling after. i dont really want to explain that one. on a more postive note i wrote this out to stop myself from heing violent towards myself and i think the urge has passed now :)

[svtbabiesrecs]

My Favourite Authors Updated: 2022

Hi! Hello! So i’ve been planning on doing this for a while, but since it’s a new year just ignore that we’re almost in february oof and i wanted to make an updated list of some of my favourite authors!

i’ve started stanning new groups, stopped reading for others and so i wanted a new updated list to reflect on that!

*this list is in no particular order and every single person on this list is so talented.

**also another note, i have recs from people who write about Enhypen on here. I only read the Hyung Line from Enhypen. This means i can’t tell you about the maknae line, but if it’s anything like their works for the hyung line, then rest assured it’ll be great too!

*** also i’m sorry if i got any group info wrong!

key:

♡︎ - any marked with this means that i love this author so much i’ll read any of their work regardless of that fact of if i know the group/s or not.

♡︎ @luvrbin ; (txt, tbz +more) BESTIE!! LET ME TELL YOU THEY ARE SO TALENTED!! I got into The Boyz because of them, i will read anything regardless of the group BECAUSE I LOVE THEIR WORK SO MUCH! also i simp hard now for sunwoo so you have them to thank for that hehe

@imagine-a-life-like-this ; (stray kids) So i’ve only been a Stay for around two? months? and they were one of the first blogs i read when it came to stray kids smaus. AND THEY ARE SO AMAZING!!! I’m so excited for their Jisung Soulmate au Jisung is my bias btw hehe and i already know the whole soulmate series is going to be FLAWLESS AND TRUST ME, I CANT WAIT BESTIES!

@plutominho ; (stray kids) TWO AMAZING WRITERS!! Again, another Stray Kids blog ‘cause i can’t get enough of Stray Kids rn and honestly if you want to be blessed with content then pls go support them!

@viastro ; (svt, tbz) writing? chefs kiss! smaus? chefs kiss. They can never fail in my eyes! everything they produce is gold. LIKE THE PURE TALENT!!

♡︎ @escapewriter ; (svt, tbz, ateez, stray kids) honestly their writing is pure perfection 🤩 love it, love it, love it!! if you want smaus and writings from multiple groups then this is the blog for you!!

@flickerchans ; (svt) i can’t tell you how many times i’ve read ‘About Now’, but let me tell you it’s a LOT. I honestly can’t wait to see what they do next and i’ll certainly be reading it🤩 also jihoon is my ultimate bias and this whole fic made my heart melt, solidify again and melt all over again. seriously, it’s amazing!

@ddeonuism ; (enhypen) THEYRE SO TALENTED AND CREATIVE!! Seriously support them please because their work is so amazing, you won’t regret it!!

@enhas-bestie ; (enhypen) just like everyone else on this list: AMAZING!! I’ve only really been a fan of Enhypen since maybe November, so i’m still kinda new to the group, but honestly their work is gold!

@iyeonjuni ; (txt, svt) EVERY PIECE IS A MASTERPIECE !!!! I’ve reread their work so so so many times and every time i enjoy myself more than the last. Even if you don’t stan TXT, i promise you, it’s still worth it to check out their work because it’s truly amazing!

@00-baejin-05 ; (txt) FLAWLESS! AMAZING! WONDERFUL! Their SMAUs are amazing! Another blog with fics ive read countless times because they’re truly amazing! 10/10 would recommend and read again!

@btxtreads ; (txt, bts) another blog i’ve read so many times! their work is amazing, it’s pulls at the heart strings and is just a blessing to read!

— — —

okay, so i think that’ll be enough for now haha. Over time, i’ll reblog this post to add more blogs. So for now, these are my go-to favourite people to read from!

i’m big fans of all of them and i hope they continue to write and create because every single person on this list deserves all the love and happiness in the world. PLEASE SUPPORT THEM AND CHECK THEM OUT!!!

so that’s all from me for now!

i hope you have a wonderful day! remember to eat, stay hydrated, take your meds if you take meds and most of all remember you are loved and are worthy of love. If no one else has told you today, i’m so proud of you and i’m proud of you for continuing on and for being you.

with all of my love,

H( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

[b-ap]

[181117] B.A.P Forever Tour in Philadelphia - Highlight of my Life

This was really one of the best concerts I’ve ever gone to. Despite being skeptical of JSJ from the beginning, I was still willing to risk it and buy the tickets. I was debating for a while to drop $400 or not for m&g but when you think about it, it was only $30 per photo with each of the boys (+ a hat, hoodie, and whistle) so that’s HELLA worth it.  So I dropped nearly $600 for this concert but for real it was SO worth it. I was even willing to go down by bus all by myself and possibly wandering the streets of philly late at night for it but luckily was able to catch a ride! 

These two BABYz gave out numbers from the very beginning like they marked down if you were plat or baby package and in the end JSJ and fans actually honored them! It was really great cuz we were able to leave the line to go to the bathroom or get food! BABYz around me were so nice and friendly too ;u; When it was time to go in to soundcheck and for the concert, we all actually got in order! It was REALLY nice like wow thank you philly babyz!! We were let in a little late for soundcheck cuz apparently bap was doing some kind of interview?? As for soundcheck, it was sooOOOoooOOO good!!! They kinda mixed up plat and baby but oh well whatever I still got like 3rd row so *^* WOOHOO! The stage was up really high and the venue was quite small, but philly crowd’s passion was explosive and powerful!! At the beginning of soundcheck Zelo kept like peeking out from the backstage door *^* they were ODing the fog machine so you could only see silhouettes at the door sometimes OTL. Daehyun was the first to come out! He came in this big puffer jacket and had earphones and and was smiling so cutely!! That wonderful wonderful kitty smile!! OH MY HEART PLEASE HAVE MERCY!! And then the others came out! <3 Zelo was wearing like PJ pants lmao the same one he wore in that IG pic of him in the truck, jongup was wearing leather (i think.....), himchan wore the tour hoodie, and youngjae wore a long coat. BUT YEAH the first song they did was TMJ and the crowd was hella LIT!!! Like everyone was singing their lungs out and jumping and being really really excited! We all started jamming out hardcore at the very first note of TMJ and I just knew it was about to be epic. BAP was sooo happy!! They really enjoyed it as well!  And then they did DWIF and omfg daehyun was soooo cute cuz we were so loud during the OH!! part that he was like :O!!!!! and gave us two thumbs up!! The others were really happy too!! And then Zelo was controlling the crowd with his hands LOL like he was making us go side to side like a wave and then jongup was doing this weird dance too lmaooo we hyped up each other so much! It was soo much fun ;A; too bad we couldn’t record but JSJ got a ( video )~!! Like just listen to BABYz singing along at the beginning!! ( dh shocked at 0:41, thumbs up at 0:51)

We had to go back outside again after the concert and that’s when the line got a little messy since now there was also GA peeps and the sidewalk is only so big to fit like 3 different lines. But it worked out in the end and we got in order!! AND YA GIRL GOT FCKN 2ND ROW HEEEEEEEEELLLL YEAHH!! I had a GREAT view!! There was actually quite a lot of space and like NO pushing!! (except this one bishhhh but whatever that’s another story -.- i’ll delete her from my memory) But wow pit was fCKN great like wow the fanchants!! The whistles!! NO PUSHING!! LIKE WHAT WOOOW I LOVE YOU (this was an all standing venue btw). When we were waiting for the concert to start, they played a bunch of their songs and everyone was scream-singing the lyrics (well more like trying to LOL we can’t korean) We had our own bap concert with an empty stage lmaooo 

AND AHHHH BAP WAS SOOOO GOOD AT FANSERVICE!!! Himchan noticed me like several times i fucking cRy!! He looked and waved at mee TWICE and like gestured to focus on zelo for recording and taking pics when it was his part AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Like last year he saw me struggling in pit (cuz that was HELL) and looked worried I CRY and he smiled at me too huuuhuuu himchan youre a fckn angel I LOVE YOU!!! I made a half heart at daehyun and hE FCKN COMPLETED IT I WAS ABOUT TO FCKN DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!! JOngup threw so many hearts and kisses at the crowd and youngjae blew so many kisses!! They were waving as much as possible to fans and daehyun, bless his heart, kept saying thank you!!thank you!! at any chance he could get!

During Q&A, bap spent the longest time arguing about harry potter houses pmsl and then yj was just like idk i never watched it (shame on you bro) and then himchan was like EXPECTRO PATRONUM!! (nerrRRRddddd). Jongup said he was fckn Dobby like bruH thats not even a house!!! YJ was like forget this!! and said, “PASS!!” Himchan said that he was Slytherin and then jongup said that Himchan would be fkcn Snape and did this dramatic coat sweeping straightening up his back thing LOL so himchan said Jongup would be a muggle pmsl Zelo did like a broom riding imitation??? irdk.... Next question was what was your favorite song that you’ve ever made. Jongup answered Photo and sang a little of it (so then where is the studio version biiSHHHhh) but lol BABYz were like SEXY CLAP!!!!!! Youngjae pulled out a question, looked at it and was like NOPE! and put it back pmsl! The next question was what tricks can Mochii do and then youngjae was frckn like body slamming zelo and jongup lmaooo. Zelo was sooooo cute he was telling the story of how Mochii bit in all in English!! He said how he was eating and was struggling to explain that Mochii was under the table so BABYz were helping him! He said that he dropped cheese and then Mochii went to eat it but Zelo tried to stop him. Mochii bit and and then Zelo was like “ooh! bloood! my dog is ...wildlife” but the way he said blood was soo cute like the oo in moon instead of “blud”  This sweet precious boy!! His English was so good!!!! The next question was to sing happy birthday to a BABY named Jenny (wow you LUCKY girl im sooo jelly omfg). So Zelo sings her hbd really dramatically lmao and they give her their sweaty towel and Zelo gave her a water bottle too!! They’re so sweet!!!!!!! 

During their other talk segment, Youngjae was like since our tour in america, philly has been the most passionate! So we all SCREAMED and cheered like crazy! Daehyun was like hold up!! AGAIN! and went to grab a phone. He made us all scream and cheer again so he could record it. The boys kept gesturing to scream louder and more and were totally enjoying the cheers! I hope we conveyed our love for them well enough!! Also Daehyun release that footage soon pls!!! He told us we did a good job screaming lmaoo! Youngjae kept making sounds for us to repeat lmao like ooOOoooo (idk how to describe it LOL) and then was like “maestro!” when trying to silence us with his fingers like a conductor LOL but we kept screaming things LOL someone was like “this is my first kpop concert!!” so youngjae was like “sounds good!” and gave a thumbs up. Jongup also did the conductor thing hahahah Daehyun promised to come back again next year and I REALLY REALLY hope that they do!!!! 

The solos were beyond amazing. Like rewatching youngjae and daehyun’s solos made me tear up like how do such beautiful voices exist in this world? Did I really hear those ethereal voices in real life? It was sooo mesmerizing and breathtaking! Youngjae’s gorgeous baritone voice singing that smooth ballad huuuhuuu my heEArt!!! Daehyun’s heartwrenchingly beautiful voice, song, and lyrics wow let me just lie down and drown in my tears rn bYE! DaeUp’s duet was so cool, Jongup’s TML was perfect as usual, Zelo’s solo was sinful oh my those hip and that peach *blushes* it was suuuper fun and Zelo enjoyed it a LOT too!!! He lifted up his shirt!! 

THEN IT WAS M&G TIME!!! They set up the background right in front of the stage. We lined up to go in and bap was standing like: jongup, youngjae, daehyun, himchan, zelo! It was plat individual photos first, then baby group + hi-touch, then plat group + hi-touch. BABYz really went for it!! Like a lot of us got hugs! We were able to watch the whole m&g but they didnt let us have our phones out ;A; (and I also had used up all 6.5 GB of space on my phone OTL) BAP were SOOOOOOOO sweet UGH we stan literal ANGELS!! They love BABYz so fricken much!! JSJ was sooo nice to allow a lot of fan interactions AHHHHHHHH BAP did a lot of cute poses and played around with BABYz! LEt mE TELL YOU THAT BAP IS SERIOUSLY SOOOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME, GORGEOUS, STUNNING, MESMERIZING, UP CLOSE HOW DID MY HEART EVEN SURVIVE?????? I GOT TO BEAR HUG EVERYONEEEE THEYRE ALL SO TALL AND IM HELLA SMOL SO THEY HAD TO SQUAT DOWN FOR ME HUUHUU THYE LIKE PATTED MY BACK DURING THE HUGS TOO AHHHHHH WE HAD A DECENT AMOUNT OF TIME WITH ALL OF THEM!!! I TOLD DAEHYUN I SAW HIM IN KOREA IN ASU AND HE WAS LIKE OOOOOH THANK YOU!!! CURSES TO MY TINY AF VOICE CUZ I DONT THINK THEY ALL EVEN REALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID SOMETIMES!!! I told Zelo he was too tall for me lmaooo I really wanna see how much he had to bend down for me! I seriously wished that my m&g was recorded but :((((((((((( After my m&g I legit squealed and hugged my friend lmao but the staff yelled at us for being too loud LMAO BUT GIRL WE JUST HUGGED FCKN KINGS LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We tried to contain ourselves as much as possible LOL Daehyun said thank you out loud to a lot of BABYz after their m&g! Zelo kept dabbing at BABYz lmaooo a lot of them didnt notice tho cuz he would do it after they had already passed him HAHAHA when it was my hi-touch I dabbed at Zelo hahah and he dabbed back :D I wanted to get a group hug from them but i got too excited and FUCKING FORGOT to ask for a group hug *kicks myself* Now I wish I had written my name on a name tag (like “HI I’M JUNIE”) and hope they wouldve said “HI JUNIE”  but I didnt OTL 

I really wish I could relive the whole day. I wish I was able to record my m&g and got a group hug or them to say my name or I had said something more to them but it’s ok my heart is very very happy and I love bap soo much. My 7 year love for them continues and I will really love them forever. Let’s meet again soon, my loves! I’m looking forward to then~! 

[wannasoftimagine]

lee daehwi as your soulmate

imagine having daehwi as ur soulmate where u have the date u meet written on ur wrist

(as requested!)

ur soulmate clue isnt really visible for awhile just bc ure like. a tiny kid for the first majority of ur life lol

for awhile u just have a smudge of ink on ur wrist so,,, u dont rlly have a choice but to let it be

ANYWAYS

once u start to get older, the markings on ur wrist start to become more and more clear

ure not super sure if theyre letters or numbers or smthn else, bc it doesnt show up on ur skin quite right yet

eventually, ure able to decipher it as a set of numbers and ure like. okay cool BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN

u talk it over w some of ur family and friends, and everyone seems to have their own idea abt what it means

but the more ppl u talk to, the more they start to agree tht it seems like a date - for several years in the future

at tht point u realize that its probably the day tht ull finally meet ur soulmate, so theres not rlly much u can do abt it until then

ure a little tempted to try and search for someone with a similar clue, but there are just SO MANY to sort thru tht u decide its not rlly worth it

u try and focus on urself - struggling thru school, spending time w family/friends, typical stuff that most ppl ignore bc theyre too busy searching for their soulmate

honestly its kinda nice knowing when ull meet ur soulmate, since u can relax until then

time passes bc u kno. tht tends to happen in life

SO

it starts to get closer and closer to the date when u meet and NOW the nerves are coming

bc ure like ?? what are they like? what if i dont like them? what if they dont like //me//? where are we gonna meet? what time? do they have the same clue? what if i dont recognize them????

honestly ure a mess of worries by the time the day comes

trying to sleep the night before is almost impossible since ure such a bundle of doubts as u toss and turn in ur bed

come morning, u do ur best to dress as nice as u can

but honestly ure starting to doubt ur sense of fashion and style at this point

eventually u have to calm urself down bc theres no point in stressing out too much, or else ure just going to freak out and have an awful day, soulmate or not

then ure like waaaait a second,,

n u realize tht u dont know when exactly or where ure going to meet ur soulmate

which makes things much harder tbh

u settle on staying on a park bench, watching ppl pass and letting ur wrist casually rest beside u so its out in the open

ure hoping tht someones just going to walk by and be like oH HELLO SOULMATE

as time goes on u realize tht ure not that lucky

actually ure prob rlly unlucky bc bugs seem like theyre attacking u and u take tht as ur cue to leave

ure wandering around a little bit when u stumble across this cute little hole-in-the-wall cafe, so u decide to go in and rest ur feet there

(also maybe meet ur soulmate bc tht would be super Aesthetic u feel)

anyways

u wait around with a cup of coffee and a bagel, hoping that ull see someone walk in with a mark similar to urs

u realize pretty quickly tht it wont happen bc 1) so many ppl keep coming in and out, and 2) no one walks around showing off their wrist tbh

tht leaves u growing more frustrated and worried in ur spot

part of u wants to just approach random strangers and ask “listen im meeting my soulmate today CAN I SEE UR WRIST”

but the realistic part of u is like “what the heck no dont do tht”

u settle on agreeing with the latter

at some point, as ure boring holes into the dozens of strangers frequenting the cafe, u start to nod off

u dont even notice until one of the workers is shaking u awake with a polite smile and telling u tht the store is closing, so ure going to have to please leave

thts when ure like “wow,,, i was rlly tired bc it is LATE outside” but also “WAIT WHAT IF MY SOULMATE CAME HERE WHEN I WAS ASLEEP”

even as u frantically look around, u dont see any cutely written messages from ur presumed soulmate or anything like tht

all u can think is tht maybe ur soulmate clue doesnt mean what u thought it did

after all, its around evening already, and u still havent seen a sign of them

u end up wandering around outside again, too worried abt the possibility of never meeting ur soulmate to be freaked out over the whole “tiny kid walks around alone in the dark!!!!” thing

anywho

u keep checking ur phone (and feeling rlly grateful tht u havent run out of battery yet) and time just keeps to slip thru ur fingers

u end up going to a small restaurant for dinner, but its a place tht uve visited before and u dont see anyone new that could be ur soulmate

afterwards u decide to head on home with a heavy heart

u keep thinking “mb its not the date when we meet??”

but honestly ure not sure what else it could be

like is it the date ur soulmate is born?? but thtd be a kinda creepy age difference,,

and,,,, okay yeah u cant rlly think of anything else

u may or may not get lost a couple of times bc ure so absorbed in ur own thoughts

it doesnt help tht ure not exactly the best with directions

by the time u think ure nearing ur home, ur phone flashes at u with the time 11.51pm and ure like “???!!!!!!!!!!!”

u dont even know what to think at tht point

but then u get hit with the realization tht ure not meeting ur soulmate today and u might never meet them at all, and ure crushed with this aching sense of nothingness

ure just about ready to curl into a ball and just lie on the street for the rest of ur life when u hear someone yell “URE WALKING IN CIRCLES”

and u snap ur head up to try and see who said tht, and u see someone sticking his head out of his window and gesturing wildly

“wHAT” u manage to yell back, bc itd be embarrassing if this guy was trying to help u navigate around and u ended up sobbing back in response

“URE GOING IN CIRCLES UVE PASSED MY WINDOW LIKE 10 TIMES”

and thats.. just as embarrassing tbh

“ARE U LOST??? WHERE DO U LIVE”

all good intentions aside, u frown at his figure to tell him “IM NOT TELLING U WHERE I LIVE”, a pause, and then u add on “U CREEP” bc ure a strong independent individual who doesnt need any freaky dude in ur life

“AT LEAST USE UR PHONE OR SMTHN!!!! URE NEVER GOING TO GET HOME AT THIS POINT”

u feel a little dumb at that bc,,, honestly uve been so wrapped up in ur head tht u kinda forgot u could just use ur phone for directions back home

still just as u pull it out, it flashes a “dead battery” symbol and just. dies on u

“ITS DEAD” u tell the guy, altho ure not rlly sure why ure telling him this bc what if he really is a creep and now he knows u cant call for help ??????????

“IM COMING DOWN”

okay, thats definitely not helping ur i-think-hes-a-serial-killer idea

when he finally closes the window and makes his way down and outside to u, uve prepared urself with a rock

just,, in case,,,,,

(its not even a really good rock but u gotta do what u gotta do)

“i didnt want to keep yelling” the guy says, and he looks much sweeter in person (and when hes not screaming directions at u)

he sticks out his hand and ure like ?? but u take it anyways

“im lee daehwi!! do u want to borrow my phone?” he holds it out to u and even tho ure really tempted to take it, ure still a little skeptical

“if i put my address in there, then ull know where i live and u can track me afterwards”

he seems to find tht both very amusing and very insulting, since his face contorts into a half-laugh half-grimace

its a funny sight in of itself, so u cant help but smile at his expression

u end up bickering a little bit, and by the time he shoves his phone into ur face, u glance at the time and its past midnight and oh

today isnt the day u meet ur soulmate, then

ur face falls and he immediately yanks his hand back, obviously concerned

“are u okay?? whats wrong????”

and even tho hes still basically a stranger u cant help but show ur wrist to him and manage to explain tht u thought u were going to meet ur soulmate today, but its too late bc u still havent met them

but daehwi is giggling and ure like “dONT BE A JERK” but hes already pushing his own wrist into ur face

instead of the date, his reads “11.51 PM” in the same small dark font, and its like oh. OHHHHH

he pushes at ur shoulder, teasing u tht ur clue was more obvious bc “i had to wait around every day to see if i met someone new!!! i just want to sleep but i had no idea when id meet u”

and even as hes pouting u can barely process how relieved u are so u. accidentally zone out juuuust a little bit

he notices of course, and manages to get ur attention by saying “im glad its u tho bc ure super cute”

u stare at him, suddenly super focused on him, and he laughs

“i was just trying to get ur attention, but i do think ure rlly cute”

ure both still a bit in shock, but u manage to carry on conversations well enough bc now tht u know ure each others soulmates, ure desperate to talk to each other forever

he ends up insisting on cutting ur convo short and walking u home bc its so late, but he gives u his number and a quick, embarrassed peck on the cheek with a promise to talk to u soon

its even harder to fall asleep that night, ur head filled the memory of daehwi grinning at u like ure the best thing hed ever seen

others: jisung | sungwoon | daniel | woojin | more coming soon!

[feverhalo]

Ok so. Big talky post about irl shit in all forms because why not & i feel bad leaving you all hanging so long on so much

Please dont r///ebl/////og and theres no pressure to read it or do anything in regards to this.

So. This covers like. So many topics. Grief and death and mental health being the biggest warnings for

Average news first. I still have my job and have been there officially for a year now! Pay rates are going up in my province, and thats a new solid reference should i need it any time soon. Theyre also beong really understanding and compromising(? Forgot theword i had originally) and letting me try new jobs/places to reduce stress

I found out yes, i am still allergic to peanut butter if the fact that i had really annoying stomach pain for h o u r s after eating a teeny tiny pb cookie is anything to go by. Didnt really pay attention to if i broke out on my sides or not because i was a little preoccupied with curling up tightly and feeling a little off the next day too. (I mean no duh what did i expect to happen but i mean. They smelled so good). Lesson learned.

Bad news

ive touched on but i dont think ever really said. Someone very very close to me passed in late summer and im still devistated and torn up and doing my denial/anger thing for the most part. Its. Not easy. But ive been going to see someone, admittedly its become a bit about everything when it was supposed to just be this, but i dont do death. When i was a kid and lost someone i shut down entirely and aside from angry outbursts and the occasional breakdown i tried my hardest to act like there was not and would never be a hole there. It didnt work well at all and im still affected by that person's passing too.

They were also one of the more supportive people in my life and i spent a lot of time reading and writing and creating in their company and its been hard.

And i know that im handling this a little better even though im still skipping out on things and blowing up and all the same sort of crap but i actually have a neutral space that wont feel marked or stained every day for processing and a neutral person to help.

And of course its not just grief im getting help with because its all kind of a tangled mess. But im also getting like. New insight on stuff and someone to talk to about whatever. And its making life quite a bit harder because im so used to blocking it out or locking myself away and letting things rush over and take over and run their course. Its been really hard to be creative because im incredibly self critical and having a lot more trouble focusing lately because of a lot of reasons.

Im stressed and overwhelmed a lot more easily and frequently right now. And i know im being distant even if it doesnt show. Im scared to kind of go along with this and open up and all that junk and now im being gently prodded to do so in short, honest (not just stuff i dont rly care about or stuff callously overshared to just pretend im being open) bursts its kind of freaking me out. But like. Itll all end up for something good i hope. Even though it feels awful right now and ive had stints of days or even a full week with supports on speed dial when i havent been able to calm down or shut off over thinking but thats- i mean i expect it. A lot is happening and ive known for years my coping strategies have been lacking.

Ive also been talking with this outside help and weve toyed with the idea of maybe i really do have add or at least my anxiety manifests similarly and its kind of a which came first- and this ties in to the next good part in a second- but i havent scheduled anything in my area for right now for those sorts of things but im still kind of getting new ideas from a different angle that might maybe help and if i dont then im learning things i still may be able to use. Either way its not a huge deal for the current moment and its a bit if trying to find compassion and acceptance for myself whether its thing a or b or neither but whatever

Good, great, best news!!

I have an in to starting the more physical process of transitioning. Like i have a day and a time and a start. Like really really really soon. Its going to be hard i know because im going to have to open up about things and will probably be told i have to wait until i can stablize a bit more- its been a lot happening in a short while. And i understand. I waited 2 years to hear from them, i waited a few years to reach out to them, and i unknowingly waited years to find new words that struck a chord and all that. So as long as its moving i can deal with the wait.

I have GOOD people (many i know and have known for years now who happen to work in an adjacent field, some who are new and yet to be met but have rly good references if that makes sense?) who are going to help me kind of navigate and understand and undo things i thought i learned that were honestly just veiled hate and scare tactic garbage. People who support me and dont push me past what i am comfortable with undergoing to "prove" anything (such as 'if you didnt do x right away youre lying/if you dont do y surgery first i wont believe you' kind of comments. I hope). Im looking into options and im so excited for it!!

Its going to involve a lot of talking about things and probably a lot i dont want to talk about just yet but its a great chance because it gets me officially connected and officially started and this place has more options than my town and more specialized crap that can detangle and work through all the connected things and it can all be lumped together as the same process and hopefully help financially that way- and time wise unbelieveably. Theres a very good chance ill be able to talk with someone there, and very likely that first appointment, who can help me understand why i work the way i do sometimes for whatever reason it is.

And im getting a lot of positivity and lessons like learning to give myself some slack where it matters and stuff like that. And that im not worthless or stained or going to rot other people- which is honestly uncomfortable for me to think because of how long ive thought the opposite. Like to think i may actually be pretty good like not pretend good and actually worth anything at all. Because i got stuck in bad thoughts since i was small.

Im also thinking on trying to go back to school because i have a lot i think about with nowhere to really put it and nothing to do which doesnt help me do the things i want to do. So maybe something like that would help because i like learning. I like the motions of it- writing and reading with intent to understand something new, the routine as much as i whined about it in highschool, the forced kind of proximity to people living apart from what i know entirely too so the world feels bigger in a tangible way. Thats on a back burner and waiting for sure! But the fact im thinking about it and happily thinking about it? I like that.

My life has been. Kind of a combination of bland as hell and busy if that makes sense. Ive had to sort of shut down outward productivity and cut down on things a bit because so much is going on, and im trying to do a lot as paced and as slowly as i can bear.

And even though im not Here here as much as i want to be and everything its just. Kind of time for this. And im so glad and happy that when i can be here i can see that people still like what ive done and theres always awesome content to see and yeah

Thanks for everything and checking in and i really really am looking forward to moving forward.

[academicsapphic]

92 Question Tag

Tagged by @annikki-studies​ thanks a bunch!

LAST:

Drink: always water

Phone call: the pharmacy

Text message: “everyone i know just leaves after sleeping together unless they’re like dating” - me to a GC

Song you listened to: Crushed Little Stars - Mitski

Time you cried: i don’t even remember which frightens me cause i normally cry every five seconds

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: i haven’t even dated someone once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t even kissed someone once 8. Been cheated on: see #6 9. Lost someone special: i don’t feel like i have?  10. Been depressed: it’s my way of life 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: okay so i did drink a punch at my friend’s party and i didn’t get drunk but my body completely rejected it cause i drank half a cup really slowly with water, was completely lucid, and ten minutes later started vomiting. that’s enough liquor for me i shall stick with beer. and im still salty cause i was like i wanna see what its like to be tipsy i wanna let loose and have fun! and my body was like “how about no fun and only puke”. all that to say: yes and no??? DON’T DRINK LIQUOR MIXED WITH JUICE IT’S A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN EITHER DO SHOTS OR DRINK BEER OR DRINK NOTHING

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: purple, certain blues, gray

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: omg so many. ive made shitty ones then i made my actual ones. all you do in college is make friends. 16. Fallen out of love: havent been in it. ive fallen out of infatuation though 17. Laughed until you cried: of course, all the time, my friends are ridiculous 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah that’s always a great feeling 19. Met someone who changed you: i’m sure lots of people i’ve met are responsible for who i am today  20. Found out who your friends are: yes, see #15  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: see #7 GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them why would i add strangers 23. Do you have any pets: a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: not really 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i think we went to dinner 26. What time did you wake up: like 6 something? not being at college means i have a normal sleep schedule and i hate it 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping i hate summer 28. Name something you can’t wait for: MOVE-IN MOVE-IN MOVE-IN I WANNA GO BACK TO UNI SO BAD 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour or two ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so many things i cant even list but also im very grateful for my life so like idk 31. What are you listening to right now: HIMYM 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ?? idk 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: summer, registration, sometimes my family 34. Most visited websites: Netflix, YouTube, Tumblr, Amazon, Vandy’s registration site, and MyFitnessPal

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: my arm, my neck, my chin 36. Mark/s: a lot, birthmarks, scars, places ive burned myself 37. Childhood dream: same one i have now, be a professional musician and performer 38. Hair color: dark almost black brown 39. Long or short hair: long, but recently my hair got cut and i actually really like it short too but for the long run, long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: no life is boring and im giving my feelings a break from getting hurt 41. What do you like about yourself: sometimes my music is good and my eyes are a nice color but i hate everything about me lol 42. Piercings: basic ears 43. Blood type: no idea  44. Nickname: Bree 45. Relationship status: single, as i have been for my whole life, as i will be for my whole life 46. Zodiac: Aquarius

47. Pronouns: she/her  48. Favorite TV Show: Fringe/The Office  49. Tattoos: Nope, maybe someday, something small on my wrist or hand, but probably not cause my pain tolerance is -100 50. Right or left hand: left 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: ive gotten highlights a couple times 53. Sport: softball from childhood through high school 55. Vacation: going to myrtle beach next week 56. Pair of trainers: what are trainers?  MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: just made myself dinner (veggie burger with lettuce bun and 100-calorie fries)  58. Drinking: water, obv 59. I’m about to: eat some frozen grapes and do some cardio 61. Waiting for: School to start jesus i wanna go back so bad

62. Want: all my wildest dreams to come true 63. Get married: i like really really wanna spend my life with someone so hopefully that happens someday 64. Career: idk yet. maybe grad school, maybe law school, maybe my music career will take off and ill get to do my passion for a living WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i wouldnt know cause no kisses yet 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: for guys, taller, for girls i dont care cause theyre all so beautiful i shant dare have a preference for their anything 68. Older or younger: older but not by a lot 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i truly dont care i have neither so how could i judge 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive i love crying and i wanna have a df who cries too  72. Hook up or relationship: not that i could get either, but relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker cause im so hesitant HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: yes it tastes so bad but i stuck through it to try to get drunk  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i literally lost my right contact at the beginning of senior year and spent the rest of highschool wearing just my left one. i’m a mess. i’ve never lost my glasses though *knock on wood* 77. Turned someone down: yes which is amazing 78. Sex on the first date: if im going on a date with someone ive probably already known them for a while since dating strangers terrifies me so sure maybe why not  79. Broken someone’s heart: doubt it 80. Had your heart broken: not truly? like ive never been in love but in an infatuation crush sense? literally all the time. i spent all second semester so heartbroken that i was in physical pain for months at a time over this guy i liked so much who had a girlfriend and was also really annoying so it wasnt even worth it. it took a therapy session to get out of it.

81. Been arrested: no my black ass would probably be killed first 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: I never fall for friends. that’s so weird to me. when i first meet you i’m either not attracted to you so you’re therefore just my friend, or i’m attracted to you and i can’t just like you as a friend so you’re a crush. but i’ve never been friends with someone i liked, i’ve only liked strangers and people i’ve never talked to cause im pathetic. i could never like one of my friends oh my god. when friends like me, i get so uncomfortable i can hardly look at them. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: honestly i have to cause its kind of hard to let down the only person on your team at all times  85. Miracles: kind of, i believe that everything happens for a reason and the universe/gods have a plan so if something miraculous happens it was meant to happen 86. Love at first sight: i believe in first really strong attraction that turns into love 87. Santa Claus: not anymore :’( 88. Kiss on the first date: definitely, even before the first date who cares  OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: don’t really have a single best friend 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Breakfast at Tiffany’s probably

[theperkiestnobody]

Blah blah

Idunnoo bout y'all but lately Facebook has decided to have a bunch of videos up on my dashboard about relationships and what not and it just kinda has been a floating thought in my mind what with me being in my first serious relationship ever and almost hitting the year mark and iunno maybe I'm just kinda sick and tired of just seeing like "the 4 different personalities" and "what you should avoid before thinking about getting married" and all this other horseshit so I'mma rant

TL;DR don't worry you'll find someone someday

So lemme tell y'all a lil something something, around this time last year, I was on the fence about getting back into dating after Everett had asked if he could be my boyfriend and I could be his girlfriend. Why? Because after a couple of years dating dinguses, idiots and fucktards, I needed a break from it all. It wasn't good that my "first" boyfriend straight up didn't talk to me for weeks prior to breaking up with me then the next idiot that followed tried breaking up with me through text message and basically told me I wasn't worth he emotional investment. And it didn't help I lost a sense of who I was while dating them. Like I basically did everything a good girlfriend was supposed to do so why didnt we stay together? Probably because I was just conveinent. And when I stopped being that, they just wanted me gone. Afterwards I just had a series of unfortunate hookups, one night stands which led to my first encounter with a fuck boy and my first consideration of having a friend with benefits. And I hated both. I can't blame the fwb guy because honestly I get it. Been hurt too many times, you aren't looking for someone whose decently attractive you want someone super attractive and whatever bullshit and it was really my fault for trying to change it to a different outcome. So after him, I was done. I just decided for myself that if I really wanna dress all nice and what not, fuck man I'll take myself out on dates. I'll buy myself that expensive ass food and I'll tell myself I'm worth it cause no one else fuckin would and if they did they just legit wanted me in bed with them. So 🤷🤷 whatever right?

I continued on, going to school, trying to hang out with friends and spend some quality roommate/housemate time. Tried figuring out this on your own away from home situation (literally a year after I moved out from my folks) while working at best buy. And lo and behold, this super excited, tall goofy fourteen year old (he's actually twenty three pero like he looks fuckin fourteen) looking white boy that legit runs up to me in his new blue uniform asking me where tf some stupid ass Samsung TV was. Mind you at the time he was starting as the Samsung experience expert while I was just your average merchandiser, working there for almost half a year, making things look pretty and I was always running around the store like a woman on a mission and had zero time trying to help coworkers and customers look for something specific. But I'm too nice of a person and I try to help however I can and I asked him if he bothered to look in our system to see if it is noted we have it in stock (which A++ for him he did before asking me). And I don't remember when I started having feelings for him all I remembered was that it kinda hurt when I figured he didn't have any for me. And i remember when it happened.

See the best buy we both worked at is located near a college town so the vast majority of the employees are college students just trying to pay off whatever debt and there was this one girl, we'll call her Sandy, who got hired right after her best friend which both were known to throw the wildest parties which I've probably been invited to once but never again since I don't drink. And I've never hated her or anything, I mean Sandy is a pretty nice person and though she's fucking nuts and will black out drunk twice a week, she helped me out when i was basically on the last straw with the fwb guy and helped me by making sure I was surrounded by friends so I didn't have to feel like I had to go back to hanging out with him because I was just so desperately lonely for company. and when Everett started working there, he got along with everyone to the point that they all knew him as that hyperactive kid who'll always put a smile on your face..and eventually they started hanging out and I knew that for one, I shouldn't be trying to date co-workers let alone look into dating cause I just started trying to get to know myself and two, there's really no way that I ever attract anyone, especially people like him. So I just kind of went about my days there till he eventually came up to me and talked to me. We had just small chatter here and there. Then eventually it became more than that. He knew that the guy working as a "security" guard employed by best buy was my housemate at the time and got into a conversation about going night hiking to which he asked me about it. I said I'd love to go and he quickly wrote down his number, gave it to me right before our general manager asked what the fuck we were doing in which I fuckin lied for him and I fuckin texted him, planned it and we went on a fucking night hike and talked to each other about literally everything personal. He knew every single thing about me in those three hours we spent by ourselves together and afterwards, I'm absolutely pretty sure he gave me compliments not just to compliment me but to also hit on me seeing as how he fell for me...and what happened afterwards was a series of him showing up to my apartment (which at the time wasn't too far from best buy) just so he could see me (IN MY FUCKIN PJAYS IF I MAY ADD), him asking about me around the store because literally everyone kind of knew who I was but just by character and not name, and eventually leading towards our "first date" which ended up going on till 3am cause of late dinner with friends and then him coming over the next day to watch a movie and play cards and that's when he asked me if he could have my lips and be mine and he waited till I was ready. He waited patiently for me to say yes, waited for me to be okay and ready to have sex with him and has been nothing but just a total sweetheart and always there for me when I needed him

And lemme tell you we aren't your generic couple either. We both have our mental illness. Some days are way better than others and maybe one day we'll finally be okay. And I also didn't wait till I moved in with him. Sure, I had my own life with my own things and I still do things on my own...but I also take into consideration what his feelings are and if he's okay with it and if he isn't we talk about it. I moved in with him maybe four or five months into our relationship because it just wasn't okay for me to live in my apartment any more due to it's conditions and what not and yeah, we're both living with his parents and theyre okay with it but honestly, we take care of each other. We push each other and all this jazz and it's all because I just ...I just said yes. I went into this relationship with both of us knowing what kind of baggage I have. I went into it slightly thinking he'll dump me after three months or he'll get tired of me...and now, I wake up to his cute little face and sleep with one of us wrapped around the others arms and I know there's a future with us. And yeah, if I were to have told my past self that after Kyle and Jon dump you you'll find someone youll be madly in love with through work, I wouldve asked what kinda drugs am I on for this kind of optimism. So honestly, yeah, you're gonna find someone someday. Even if that someone is you.

[theconservativebrief]

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi’s bid for speaker has one potential problem if Democrats take back the House: a Congressional Black Caucus that wants one of their own to be speaker — or at the very least, to get the No. 2 position.

For months, Rep. Jim Clyburn, the assistant minority leader and No. 3 House Democrat, has mulled running for House Speaker or House Majority Leader if Democrats can take back the House.

The 78-year-old South Carolinian has talked openly about doing what others are hesitant to — offering his name up for speaker, but only if Pelosi fails to get the required 218 votes. Pelosi has a lot of confidence she’ll be able to win the gavel, but there are more than 40 Democrats running who have indicated they will not support her for speaker.

Clyburn first said he would think about jumping in the speaker’s race this summer in an interview with New York Times’ Alexander Burns and Jonathan Martin.

“If the opportunity is there I would absolutely do it,” Clyburn told Burns and Martin.

But there appears to be a split within the Congressional Black Caucus, which typically has a reputation as a unified bloc. Some are questioning whether Clyburn has the chops to run against Pelosi, with grumbles from some that another, younger member should take up the mantle.

Pelosi can typically count on the unified support of the CBC. But if one of their own decides to challenge her, or disagrees with Pelosi on who should hold the No. 2 spot, that support could fracture.

Clyburn has the same problem Pelosi and the rest of Democratic leadership does: They have all essentially been in the same positions for years and don’t represent the new faces some in the House are clamoring for. This all coincides in a year when the Democratic caucus could be younger and more diverse than ever.

There have been signs of unrest in the Congressional Black Caucus for months. The powerful caucus currently makes up almost a quarter of House Democrats, but Clyburn is their only representative in the top echelon of Democratic leadership.

The 48-member CBC is powerful (almost all are Democrats), and they badly want more representation at the top of the House. The CBC has been an important ally of Pelosi in the past, but they also want a black speaker.

“We want people to see that the Democratic leadership in the House of Representatives is, with some intentionality, very inclusive,” Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO), told Politico’s Heather Caygle and John Bresnahan. “It’s a powerful statement for the nation and maybe even for the world.”

There’s new chatter that Clyburn could also be aiming for House majority leader, the No. 2 spot in House leadership. Current Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-MD), the No. 2 Democrat in the House, has talked openly about his intention to run for majority leader.

Hoyer is trying to shore up support for majority leader by campaigning and fundraising aggressively ahead of the November 6 — he’s traveled to more than 120 congressional districts in 25 states to stump for candidates so far this year. Many of these districts are more conservative ones where Pelosi isn’t as welcome, and he’s raised more than $10 million for candidates so far this cycle. Hoyer and Clyburn both say they won’t challenge Pelosi directly for speaker, but they have their eyes on the spot if she can’t get the votes.

Members of the CBC want to a member of their caucus at the No. 1 or 2 spot — and since Clyburn is already the third-ranking House Democrat, he is best positioned to take on Pelosi or Hoyer. Even though Clyburn is fundraising and traveling to boost other 2018 candidates, there seem to be some concerns even within the CBC that the South Carolina congressman is up to the task of showing whether he can lead.

Clyburn’s allies have been pushing him to talk himself up to the rest of the caucus and 2018 Democratic candidates who could be helping choose new leaders after the midterms, according to a recent report from McClatchy’s Emma Dumain. They want him to talk up his travel schedule, fundraising, and policy plans to reduce poverty in America.

“The advice I gave him is, ‘demonstrate your ability to lead,’” Rep. Bennie Johnson (D-MS) told Dumain.

The fact that Clyburn’s allies are telling him he needs to step up could be a sign of trouble for him. After all, he tried to challenge Hoyer before. In 2010, Hoyer and Clyburn ran against each other for the minority whip position, with Hoyer coming out on top. Now neither Pelosi nor Hoyer’s allies seem worried about a serious challenge from Clyburn. Both have solid bases of support within the caucus.

The longtime leadership trio is staring down an increasingly restless Democratic caucus itching for new blood.

So it makes sense that as all three position themselves to be leading House Democrats again, they are framing it as transitional leadership — a bridge to get Democrats to 2020 and then stepping aside for younger members. Clyburn and Hoyer have been framing their respective bids this way for months, and Pelosi recently suggested she would do the same.

“I see myself as a transitional figure,” Pelosi said in a recent interview with Mark Barabak of the Los Angeles Times. “I have things to do. Books to write, places to go, grandchildren, first and foremost, to love.”

Pelosi has been clear she intends to run for speaker if Democrats win in her interview with Barabak, and it’s worth noting she did not give herself an end date in the interview. But floating the idea that it’s a short-term thing may make Pelosi’s speakership bid more palatable to House Democrats who are skeptical about her remaining at the top. Clyburn and Hoyer are watching the vote totals for Pelosi’s speakership race closely — both could jump in if she can’t get to 218.

Pelosi — who is flush with cash for Democrats after a record 2018 fundraising haul — remains bullish about her prospects: She and her team believe some Democrats who have called for new leadership haven’t been explicit and have left enough wiggle room to change their minds and vote for her.

Pelosi’s hints that she doesn’t plan to stay House speaker for long may help persuade key holdouts and get her to the 218 number she needs. If she doesn’t, Clyburn and Hoyer will be waiting in the wings.

Original Source -> The Congressional Black Caucus has been an important Pelosi ally. But they’re getting impatient.

via The Conservative Brief

[allofbeercom]

Can Adele fix the broken music industry?

Unless you fell into a post-holiday food coma, you know that Adeles album25just sold more copies in its first week than any album, ever. The average human being had been conditioned to believe this was not possible in 2015.

Remember that narrative?Napster destroyed the music business, the iPod stopped the bleeding, digital and streaming services are still nascent, and a Google search can find anything for free, so the good old days of multi-platinum records are pretty much gone.

On the heels of her first single “Hello,” Adele waved goodbye to that doomsday line of thinking, crushing decades-old sales records by such a distance that, if she were an Olympic athlete, wed immediately assume she healed her damaged vocal chords with PEDs. Putting aside certain idiosyncrasies of Adeles album buyers (it turns out old people still buy CDs!), getting more than 3.8 million people to doanythingin the same week is a triumphant feat.

The ripple effect of Adeles astonishing sales figure is already visible. This past week, Rihanna and her management made a last-minute decision to postpone the release of her new album,Anti, at the apex of the heaviest consumer spending moment of the year. It turns out the shadow of Adele is the one umbrella Ri-Ri wont stand under.

And who can blame her? Between Adeles album sales and Taylor Swifts cultural and touring dominance (FYI: She played to a stadium full of 76,000 people in Sydney last weekend), its tough to stand out at the moment, even for Rihanna, one of Forbes top 10 grossing female artists. Despite working in a music industry with a dearth of women in meaningful executive positions, the strength and power of female artists has never been more profound. And unlike Hollywoodwhere thanks to the North Korean email hack of Sony and a courageous Jennifer Lawrence, we now understand the starkness of the gender pay gapfemale musical artists get paid on par with their male counterparts. In music, the entire ecosystem earns a sizable percentage of whatever the artist makes; record labels make a percentage of album sales, promoters make a percentage of ticket sales, merchandisers make a percentage of T-shirts sold, and so forth. Which means we are at a unique moment in history where A-list women hold much of the real power in the music business.

The strength and power of female artists has never been more profound.

So what will they do with it? And how does their massive success shine a giant spotlight, for better and worse, on everything thats happening with the music business and the streaming business and the concert business and artist representation right now?

Adele and Taylor started this upheaval by each flexing a particular muscle that belongs to them and them only. Taylor used her pen as the sword, bringing the mighty Apple to the bargaining table to pay artists for streams during the free trial for Apple Music. Adele turned herback on streaming services to break an album sales record that had stood since Justin Timberlake was fronting a boy band with Britney Spears on his arm. But beyond the PR success and ego boost thats generated from seven-figure first-week sales numbers, these efforts did little to make a lasting impact on the business of music.

Like the rest of the news cycle, we celebrate heroic outliers, write think pieces, marvel at the numbers, and move on within the confines of the same old structure. As President Business from The Lego Movie would have us believe, everything is awesome. Only it isnt. While artists have done much to break through decades of exploitation and capture more of the value they create, the fan experience in most facets of music consumptionlive and recordedremains unconscionably broken.

Nowhere is the dysfunctional tension between Los Angeles/New York-based content creation and Silicon Valley-based technology more on display than in digital music services. In the Valley, we scoff at companies that ship their org chart in a product. (Note: Microsofts Steve Sinofsky who coined this phrase for mass appeal, and for some time it was Microsoft who was guilty of this en masse.) You can tell when groups within or outside a company arent working well together based on the way the products features play wellor dont play wellin production. This is displayed everywhere in digital music from convoluted hardware options and endless interconnected devices in the home to cutting-edge software that never seems quite ready for primetime. In particular, Apple Music still feels like a house built on the foundation of an old home that the owners never wanted to fully tear down for tax purposes. The compromises and technical debt are palpable.

The fan experience in most facets of music consumptionlive and recordedremains unconscionably broken.

But those issues pale in comparison to the evolving royalty structure in musicbasically, the agreements for how much artists, labels and songwriters get paid when you buy or stream a song. Without hit music from the Taylors and Adeles, those subscription music streaming services are essentially useless. Even if they have the best user experience for fans, without music that matters, their core proposition (the music you want for a flat monthly fee) becomes completely hollow. Disappointed fans know theyre being misled, especially when YouTube and BitTorrent offer even the mildly unscrupulous a holiday table cornucopia of free access to all the music on earth.

We know the economics of music streaming are still being sorted out, but we also know this happened with video content a few years agoand, eventually, major players like Netflix, YouTube and Hulu figured out how to window content, present it exclusively,and generate their own product. If music follows that model, then the biggest artists will sell their exclusivity to distributors like Spotify, Apple, YouTube/Google, and others. Our best asset to help that happen? Just keep complaining about this stuff.

What we are seeing and (not) hearing now as fans is the very public sausage making of a new recorded music revenue model, the loudly creaking rusty hull of an antiquated ship turning a bit too quickly in a swift current. For most of us downstream, it creates a suboptimal listening experience and never-ending frustration.

And its only worse with live music, where artists now make 70 to 90 percent of their income, despite a gallingly offensive fan experience.For one thing, the industry continues to lie to fansblatantlyabout the price of tickets until the very moment of purchase.An upper deck ticket for the Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas tour in Los Angeles on Sept. 17, 2016, is currently available on Ticketmaster for $49.95. After a $15.30 service charge, the actual price of that ticket is31 percent higherthan advertised. At StubHub, where between buyer and seller fees the ticket is routinely marked up 25 percent, the company tried to show pricing all-in. But after competitors didnt follow suit, StubHub reverted back to the draconian way of tricking fans into moving down the purchase funnel by baiting them with a lower price point, before dropping fees on buyers at checkout. Most artists are consciously (or navely) complicit in this dirty game. Many touring deals for large artists stipulate that artists are paid more than 100 percent of gross ticket sales. How can this be? Its because the promoter and venue make their money off of parking, beer, sponsorship, and importantly, service fees.

This wont change until fans start pressuring the artists to facilitate that change. Artists are intensely sensitive about their brands. With social media giving loud voices to all, artists are hyper-concerned with criticism for high ticket prices even though they have historically enabled a service fee system that exploits their fans. Its why so many good tickets often make it into the hands of brokers from venues, promoters, and artists directly. Ever wonder why you see so many VIP packages for sale? Theyre designed to charge market price for a ticket with a few low-cost add-ons attached. So why cant artists own their income desires and get paid what they are worth, or alternatively restrict transferability of tickets to ensure that fans get in at an artificially low price? Service fees are an extension of the ticket price, so why arent they presented as such up front in the buying process?

Apple Music still feels like a house built on the foundation of an old home that the owners never wanted to fully tear down for tax purposes.

All of the carnival barking about ticket prices comes against the backdrop of a swelling period of time between the onsale of a concert and the actual show date. For the concert example above, a fan buying four mid-level tickets would be putting down more than $400 of his hard earned money10 monthsbefore the show. That same week the tour plays a Wednesday night in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Who the heck knows what theyre doing on a Wednesday night 10 months from now in Albuquerque? The answers fall into three categories:

I dont.

Im one of the few passionate fans who will move my schedule around this show and give you my money ten months in advance.

Im a ticket broker, and Im buying bunches of tickets now to arbitrage and capitalize on all the people in #1 above.

This practice of ridiculously early sales has been expanded by the industry to bank money early, test demand, and reduce risk. Do they care that the best tickets go mostly to brokers, that fans pay more money than they otherwise would, and that the most passionate fans lose out on 10 months of interest on their money? Of course not. Were moving backwards.

The big question: Is all of this a calculated plan by the music industry to keep things as unfavorable for fans as possible, or can we chalk it up to sheer incompetence?

The recent Paris tragedy reminded us that the music industrys obligation to provide a better experience for fans are growing ever more urgent. The attacks on fans at a concert hall and a sports stadium were the manifestation of a longstanding fear we had at Ticketmaster about live eventscrowds are so much more vulnerable than we want to believe. We already learned this in air transportation after 9/11; 14 years later, we collect loads of data and restrict transferability of tickets between passengers boarding a 200-seat airplane. But with 80,000-seat stadiums, we continue to do almost nothing. With the use of cash, paper tickets, ticket reselling, and an average of almost three tickets-sold-per-order, upwards of 90 percent of individuals entering an arena or stadium can be unknown to event organizers.

The entire paradigm of music distribution is staring down the barrel of an evolutionary leap.

There are common sense solutions that would make live events safer for fans. By reimagining a ticket as a digital access credential replete with identity, payment, and location metadata, we could do the forensic work before and after events to identify bad actors. This need not restrict ticket transferability or resale; it simply means maintaining a centralized system of record where tickets can be sold and the data associated with buyers and sellers infinitely logged. Existing and emerging technologies, including blockchain, are candidates for handling this challenge. They can also prepare us for the dawn of virtual reality in live events, ensuring this technology becomes incremental and not cannibalistic to the artists live performance. To do so fully requires sunsetting the idea of a ticket as a piece of paper; identity and access can be tied to a phone, a card, or a fingerprint.

Guess what? This is precisely the course of technology across most consumer products today. Like other products, these advancements have the happy consequence of actually improving the consumer experience. This data can serve to personalize the live experience for each fan before, during, and after the event. It could allow artists to over-deliver on an experience for which they are charging astronomical sums, up to a year in advance. As usual, we fell way behind the curve in the music business. So maybe this is about incompetence over anything else.

Indeed, the entire paradigm of music distribution is staring down the barrel of an evolutionary leap. Twitter, like its many mobile social messaging peers from Snapchat to WeChat to Line to Instagram to Facebook, is really a direct-to-consumer distribution channel that could fundamentally transform the relationship between artists and fans. Katy Perry has 78M Twitter followers, Taylor Swift has 67M, Rihanna has 53M, and Adele, essentially without even trying, has 24M. Roughly half of the 100 most-followed accounts on Twitter are artists, and the technology is now in place for artists to commercialize their follower relationships by selling songs, tickets, and T-shirts directly on these platforms. Twitter led this effort; others followed suit. Its the fastest way to remodel the entire music industry. Any artist who pined for more control over the distribution of their art, as well as the artist-fan covenant, have the powers at their disposal to take command.

Which brings us back to what we learned this week, and this yearthat the biggest artists (including these stellar women who showed their might) have real leverage and real power right now. If they wanted, they could change a sedentary, broken industry. Conventional wisdom is that Adele is an outlier, capable of holding out for her own good but not much more. What if Adele, Taylor, and other elite artists united to force progress for all? Athletes in major sports leagues banded together. Actors held their own. So did screenwriters, directors, producers, and show runners. Music seems to be the only branch of entertainment where the collective voice of creators is mute.

The underlying driver of this silence is artist fragmentation. It is the key environmental factor upon which the 20th century music business was constructed: allow rare stars to extract their pound, but keep the bulk of the talent uncoordinated. Beyond the occasional telethon, its rare to find examples of artists working collaboratively for a cause at scale. Why is that? The leading culprit is that artists have traditionally outsourced a lot of their business decisions to their managers. Now that the time travelled from anonymity to stardom has shrunk to mere months, and artist-as-entrepreneur is a near requirement for success, the role of the artist manager has taken on increasing importance.

Sadly, management remains as fragmented and cutthroat as the days when Colonel Tom Parker was shepherding Elvis. In many cases, the speed to stardom brings along in its slipstream a relatively unsophisticated crew of hangers-on surrounding the artist. Cousins, classmates, boyfriends and the like, with little to no experience become entrusted with decisions that can impact decades of an artists revenue streams. Because most managers are paid on a percentage of the artists revenue streams, near-term money is usually prioritized ahead of long-term career value for an artist. Partnership and collaboration gets lost in fears and insecurities about acts being stolen away by other managers. Even the more sophisticated and professional managers suffer from the epidemic of the shark tank. Irving Azoff (Front Line Management) and Coran Capshaw (Red Light Management) are the two managers who have assembled artist management companies with meaningful scale. Ive apprenticed for them both, and they are excellent at what they do. But competition for the artists they manage (or would like to) remains high, and for their own business self-survival they are perpetually on alert. They do not operate in an ecosystem that fosters cooperation.

Music seems to be the only branch of entertainment where the collective voice of creators is mute.

Even the law works against artist representatives working together. California passed a law in 1978 called the Talent Agency Act that effectively says a person cannot be a manager and also book an artists tour. In practice, artists must carry both a manager and an agent, fragmenting the power of decision-making (and also the artists income). Entire cottage industries have been built on this church-state separation. Alliances are routinely built and broken between agencies and managers, further fueling the lustful competition and mistrust between artist representatives. One can surmise this is generally the scene that inspired the late Hunter S. Thompson quote: The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. Theres also a negative side.

Yet the opportunity for artists in the music business today is wonderfully beyond what even Thompson could have imagined (or hallucinated). And so it rests, finally, on the shoulders of artistsand the biggest ones, at thatto wrest control of this shallow trench of an industry away from those who have kept it in a state of morass, and give it depth. All that stands in the way of advancing the industry forward is overcoming the fragmentation within the artist community today.

And thats why Adeles eye-popping success last week is so confounding. Why, exactly, did she show her strength? The cynic will tell you it was for the money. But just as she could care less about what you think of her weight (somehow I dont expect the press to repeatedly address Chris Martins post-breakup body fat when the Coldplay album drops this week), she seems unmoved by the chance to make a few extra pounds. Which leads to the conclusion that like the rest of us, she falls somewhere on the scale between competitive and vain: She withheld her music from streaming services explicitly in search of setting a mark that none of her peers or predecessors ever did.

Having vanquished them now, will she flex her muscle for more than just the charts? She seemingly has willing partners in this effortin Taylor Swift and many of her now powerful female counterparts, as well as popular artists like Jay Z who have made recent business strides around artist empowerment. In so many ways, Adeles sales figures are less about her, and more a reflection of the continually crescendoing role of music in peoples lives.

In spite of all its dysfunction and fan neglect, our follower graphs on social networks hint that our accelerating interconnectivity is still threaded together most tightly by music. By following suit and binding together in this moment, Adele and the artist community can move the business and experience of music forward for all of us. As the Beatles knew: Come together, right now. Records are made to be broken. Adele and her peers have the chance to be indelible.

Nathan Hubbard is a former touring and recording artist, former CEO of Ticketmaster, and current head of commerce at Twitter. A version of this story was originally published on Medium and has been reprinted with permission.

Screengrab via AdeleVEVO/YouTube

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/can-adele-fix-the-broken-music-industry/

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Five months of Trump: Muslims’ anxieties were high but neighbours countenanced by them

Racial and religious frictions have been high in Northampton County in accordance with the US election. But Muslim leaders have also realise increases in support

In the third week of the first Ramadan of the Donald Trump presidency, seven Muslim households gathered for an iftar dinner to settle the days tight at a spacious home in a lately developed suburbium of Easton, Pennsylvania.

Men and women gathered in separate chambers. Children with iPhones and fidget spinners ran down a hallway and through the kitchen, where sweet times were piled on a illustration and metal bathtub of haleem, chicken biryani, crispy south Indian chicken 65, curry and rice sat warming. To booze, there was mango lassi and milk with rooh afsah and frost liquid and Coca-Cola.

After sunset, different groups had a snack, and then a devotion in the basement, in a corner opposite a big TV and a deep sofa. At the end of the darknes, Rizwan Butt, president of the Easton-Phillipsburg Muslim Association, shared a character that had been sending them to him at the mosque recently, following news reports of a petty cash steal by an unaffiliated maintenance worker.

The letter spoke TAGEND Hello Neighbor ,

I verified in the newspaper that a being stole from you and I want to help supersede some of what was lost.

Be well , [ Signed ]

She moved a check, Butt said. I could sit here and tell you a hundred fibs like that.

The storeys like that started to compile instantly in late January, Butt said, after Trump first announced his ban on travelers from seven Muslim-majority countries, a restriction afterwards revised to six.

The reaction in general, since the election the reaction has been astounding, in a positive way, Butt said.

It was ominous, he said of the travel costs prohibition. We all understood that this was just the opening up of a broader safarus with an ultimate objectives that was defined very well in the[ presidential] safarus, which was banning more Muslims until something was figured out, whatever figured out is.

Rizwan Butt at the Muslim Federation in Easton. Photo: Mark Makela for the Guardian

Bracing for potential conflict, the Muslim community instead find brand-new strands of communication opening, Butt said.

Everyone you can imagine came forward. I received notes at the mosque from neighbours, concerned parties from all levels of society, saying: Were here to stand by you, we dont agree with this, Butt said. Offers to come to the mosque to support the activities related to safety and security. One wife announced me up and said she is ready to drive the women in our community around so that they would feel safe. She would take time off work to do that.

When Butt firstly arrived in Easton 17 years ago, he said, there were perhaps five to 10 Muslim families that he knew of in the immediate place. Today there are about 100, and more than 1,000 Muslim families in the greater Lehigh Valley. More than 50% hail from south-east Asia, with additional contingents from Turkey and the Countries of the middle east, including refugees, and from the United States itself.

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Can Trump truly manufacture America great again? The people of Northampton County, Pennsylvania, twice voting in favour Barack Obama, but in 2016 they flipped to Donald Trump. This serial will report from the former steel district to find out what voters are hoping for, and request: can Trump deliver?

More from this series

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Muslim immigrants were moving into the region for the same reasons other beings do, Butt said quality of life and financial possibility. Butt is a software assistances operator who grew up in Bahrain. The vice-president of the Muslim association works in insurance. The multitude of the recent iftar fete works in IT for Citigroup.

The quality-of-life metric had prolonged some dents during the Trump campaign and afterwards, Butt acknowledged.

We have had some sisters, because theyre the most prominent marks of Islam, as they walk around, in the way they garment, theyre foremost, he said. So theyve had some name-calling, honking on the road, situations of that sort. One sister who does report herself more than others, she did get some bad statements when she was going out shopping.

But aside from that , no physical trauma, thank God. No ones come and sprayed graffiti on our mosques. Our mosques didnt receive any phone calls or words of detest, but people on wall street did receive that.

It bubbled to the surface

The political rise of Donald Trump inflamed racial, ethnic and religion frictions across the United States. Northampton County, Pennsylvania, the incident of a key Trump victory last November, was not immune. A years worth of hideous occurrences tells the tale.

Anecdotes and interviews relate browbeat and name-calling in schools, including call of the N-word. A cultivate of Confederate pennants last autumn, as the election approached. Verbal altercations at work, or abrupt faces from co-workers of previously obscured prejudiced sentiments. Defaming evidences about immigrants. Taunting in wall street of concealed Muslim dames. Swastika graffiti. Ugly discords of a kind that didnt previously seem to have happened.

Occasionally, such incidents did the papers. In January, the district attorney charged a white-hot student at Saucon Valley high school with cyber-harassment and ethnic coercion for sharing a video in which the student exploited the N-word and prepared gibes about welfare checks and KFC while filming a pitch-black student eating chicken backstages. In April, five alleged white supremacists were indicted following an FBI raid simply across the county course that officials said divulged a conspiracy to exchange stimulants, launder coin and stockpile weapons.

Over the past six months, the Guardian has been conducting interrogations in Northampton County to interrogate the particulars of Trumps four-point victory here last November. Northampton is one of three Pennsylvania counties to vote twice for Barack Obama before falling for Trump. But unlike the other two such counties, Luzerne and Erie, Northampton has been adding residents and jobs, and property values are up, although the local economy has not fully recovered from the closure 20 years ago of the behemoth Bethlehem steel manufacturing plant.

While social strains here, as abroad in all the regions of the United States, long predate Trump and his jeering rhetoric, they now are summarily attached to the president. Interrogations with dozens of county tenants confirm that Trumps presidential safarus, win and slowly lengthening term have coincided with a perceived uptick in bias-motivated onrushes and task.

You are learning more Confederate pennants in the Trump era. You do see that, said Lance Wheeler, chairman of the Easton, Pennsylvania, section of the NAACP. Does race participate an issue? I do think so. I see Trump did get beings to go out and election who thoughts, Hey, Americas going to be great again, signify: We wont have a minority in charge again.

Incidents of fanaticism do not define the place, lifelong both residents and most recent reachings alike are at tenderness to say. Trump supporters including with regard to former steelworkers or evangelical Christians, Republican activists or service employees, former Democrat, contractors, salesclerks, tailor-makes, framers, installers, operators, businesspeople, barbers have explained why they dont see racism played a role in Trumps victory in the county.

Gary Asteak, a civil rights lawyer, hampers one of his chickens. Image: Mark Makela for the Guardian

People cast ballots for Trump because they did not like Hillary Clinton and were starving for change , not out of bias, “theyre saying”. It can seem as if every former Clinton supporter in the district has a acquaintance or many friends “whos” Trump followers, and vice versa. The US may seem to be in a perpetual stage of disagreement and fury, but in this district, those abiding social contacts show the opposite.

And then there were those two Obama victories. In 2008, Americas first pitch-black chairperson acquired here by 12 moments, with very high voter turnout comparable to that of 2016.

Gary Asteak manipulates criminal protection instances for the ACLU in Easton, where he was born and has practised statute for four decades.

The Trump era gave rise to the sense that the truth doesnt matter, lies are OK, superiority and pontification are rewarded, bullying runs, and racial disparagement illusions to the surface, said Asteak, sitting on a porch on his chicken farm in lower Nazareth, where he is township attorney. Utilizing the N-word and other pejorative references become OK because the kids are listening it at home. They think that because the crowds are heartening when Trump says throw em out, its OK to put your hands on someone.

It bubbled to the surface.

pennsylvania delineate

You had Obama , now we have Trump

The Northampton county seat, Easton, dwelling to Crayola crayons, is conspicuous in the region for its racial and ethnic diversity. The metropolitan of 27,000 occupants is 14% African American, 14% Latino and only 67% white-hot, compared with 88% in the district overall. Easton is home to old-fashioned, launched Italian and Jewish communities, a Lebanese community, and east European, Irish, German, and white-hot Anglo-Saxon Protestant parishes. The Hispanic and Latino community in Easton includes Colombians, Nicaraguans, Venezuelans, Puerto Ricans, Costa Ricans and Cubans.

Weve always been very diverse. Thats one of our enormous fortitudes as a community, saidBob Freeman, who grew up in Easton and has acted as a government delegates of the city since 1982. It leaves us our vibrancy, it makes us our sparkle. And it also has acquired, I thoughts, for a strong, progressive Democratic defendant here.

Donald Trump lost seriously in Easton, attracting exactly 25% 30% of the vote in most precincts. Yet there was a grave concerned about the fact that president Trump would be elected at the national level, said Phil Davis, a rector who has led the Greater Shiloh Baptist Church on the citys south slope for 12 years, on the heels of his fathers 30 -year term.

The church sits on the website of a former African American vicinity that was razed in the 1970 s in a misguided slum clearance scheme, Davis said. A Sunday service might reap 1,000 beings, plus other persons who watch online. The congregation is 85% African American and includes each member of lineages who moved to the region a century ago, depict by the manufacturing thunder at Bethlehem Steel and driven from the south by Jim Crow-era racial oppression.

Pastor Phil Davis of Shiloh Baptist church. Image: Mark Makela for the Guardian

During the Trump campaign, Davis said, he had counseled multiple community members who had suffered racist criticizes at work.

It was almost as if the candidature of Donald Trump emboldened those who may have seemed some tier of racism and exactly had not had an opportunity to spokesperson that, Davis said. There were a few incidents, and we had to encourage kinfolks not to retaliate in kind, as beings were spewing loathe specific at African American folks.

You know, You had Obama , now we have Trump that kind of confrontation, that is actually drove some people mad, over why this kind of demeanor was happening.

Anecdotes about such workplace confrontations come up in conversations with white people in Northampton County, extremely. A former steelworker who asked not to be appointed told the story of a face-off with a fellow white-hot bus driver whose badmouthing of Obama escalated with the growing success of the Trump campaign.

I came right out the working day and I told this one person who was really he said, you know: One missile could have solved our problems. And to me thats not a good way to talk, the former steelworker said.

I looked at him right in the eyes and I said, You know what, you know why you dont like Obama? Because hes a[ N-word ]. Say it. Ill conclude more of you. Thats why you dont like Obama.

He lives up in the boonies, you know, the good ol boys. He only went back like this a scornful billow of the handwriting he didnt want to hear that from me. Well admit it, you know?

election map

Our system is broken

Racially billed happens inside academies in the past time have been especially agitating and not particularly uncommon, multiple people said. After the video of the African American student gobbling chicken ran, there was a physical confrontation between the two students involved, and the African American student was tasked with misdemeanor assault.

Asteak, the Easton lawyer, represented the student in the case provided for( the student eventually recruited a diversionary program and was not imprisoned ). Theres been more of a gurgling undercurrent of school confusions, Asteak said. But these situations are kept under wraps. It was an extraordinary situation in Saucon, where the police stepped in and accused the kid.

The episode is not closed, however. In May, the parent education the African American student wreaked a federal civil rights instance against the school territory, alleging a collapse by the school to stanch incidents of ethnic intimidation going back to 2013.

It all starts in the home, said Wheeler, the NAACP president. When boys act out, when kids start wearing loop fastens with the Confederate flag on it, thats all in the home. Home should be able to say, Listen, where do you get that from? Thats not in our house.

Children sell lemonade in Easton. Photo: Mark Makela for the Guardian

Prejudice is learnt, and learned, and proven. Race is learned.

After news spread about the FBI raid on the white supremacist cadre in neighboring Phillipsburg, Davis said, members of the Greater Shiloh church decided to hold a rallying in the city is striving to deliver some healing to the community.

I dont want to paint a picture of a city that has not worked diligently to introduce equilibrium and equality to our community, Davis continued. The question, I imagine, is that our structure is separated. And when the system is separation, change is very difficult.

Easton is a great, diverse metropolitan, Wheeler said. Theres questions out there. We cant make that depart. Easton, its not set back. But theres some work to do.

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Read more: www.theguardian.com

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War of the Star Wars Stars: The Dark Side of the Convention Circuit

The eye-opening documentary Elstree 1976 chronicles the plight of the Stars Wars background actors battling for dollars on the convention circuit.

He says there is a clear hierarchy among the actors, who are infuriated that “the mens” in masks often attract the most attention.My look is in the movie, everyone whos got a face in the movieit drives us mad, he remarked .

For hundreds of performers, bit-part participates, costume-dwellers, and droids, be contained in Star Wars in 1977 was the moment that would chassis their livesthey were granted immortality.

While Harrison Ford was catapulted onto the Hollywood -Alist, pretty much everyone else has succumbed to the profitable enticement of the Star Wars convention circuit.

And were not just talking about Luke and Leia. Scores of actors “whos” disguised by helmets, prosthetics, face concealments, and voice-overs nearly 40 years ago can still pull in six-figure annual carry on the world circuitall they have to do is been demonstrated and sign their names.

With so many fan dollars up for grabs, and so many actors jostling for access, dont underestimate the ability of the dark side.

Theres quite a lot of politicking, Paul Blake, who played Greedo, illustrates in the mind-boggling new documentary Elstree 1976 .

The film focuses on the lesser brightness in the Star Wars family and how “peoples lives” have unfolded since that long hot English summer at Elstree Studios merely north of London. Many of them are still cleaved to the breast of the George Lucas empire.

Angus MacInnes, who played an X-wing aviator known as Gold Leader, said he was initially reluctant to cash in at the conventions. When I firstly went to them I conceived these people are going to be so bizarre, he added. And some of them were!

Like many of my honourable colleagues, the Canadian actor soon accepted that it was worth sitting at a fold-out table and signing your reputation if multitudes of Star Wars geeks were willing to hand over wads of cash in exchange.

He says there is a clear hierarchy among the actors, who are infuriated that “the mens” in masks often attract the most attention. My appearance is in the movie, everyone whos got a face in the movieit drives us mad, he said.

I wasnt a fleck on the landscape, I was in shot, the actor told The Daily Beast. If you are uncredited it doesnt mean you werent in the film.

Lyons was actually in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope twice: You peek him at the edge of one shot as a medal bearer, and then he is visualized beneath a helmet in the backdrop of another background playing a Massassi Temple Guard.

He now does at least five Star Wars agreements a year, with looks as far gone as Japan. It got me out of the house doing pacts, he said.

The British actor commissions 15 ($ 23) to clue a photograph, 25 ($ 38) to signal a poster. Bit greedy of me, I must admit, he suggested. Some beings charge 10 fine, I accuse 15.

Lyons answers its not only the money, he adoration the opportunities to get away on the road and encounter devotees who lap up his legends of long lunches with Mark Hamill and that time he ended Kenny Baker taking a nap inside R2-D2.

It helped me a lot during my sadnes, he disclosed. His wife left him in 2007, after 18 years, and he told me he saw suicide many times. The Star Wars community was one of the things that obstructed him croaking, even if some of the more established performers look down on him: They get kind of jealous that youre taking some of the action.

Dave Prowse says hes not in it for the moneythats bullshit, remarked Lyons. But Im not.

Prowse is a bona fide Star Wars heavyweight even though neither his look nor his articulation appeared in any of the films. The former bodybuilding endorse was “the mens” within the Darth Vader suit in all three original movies.

While hitting the first movie, it was difficult to hear his West Country twang through the helmet on located and George Lucas explained that wasnt a problem as they would go into a studio and re-record the spokesperson afterwards. I naturally assumed it would be me, he said in Elstree 1976 . Unfortunately for me they couldnt have picked a better voiceover performer than James Earl Jones.

That hasnt stopped him becoming a regular on the route, however. I set Dave Prowse is Darth Vader on my autograph, “theyre saying” could you do Dave Prowse as Darth Vader?

He worsened. They would have been quite happy for[ Darth Vader] to have been namelessbut here I am now, he enunciated, although there have been a few snags along the way. Ive been are prohibited from the Star Wars Celebration weekends and Disney Star Wars articulate Im persona non grata.

Prowse belongs among the top echelon of Star Wars stars along with Carrie Fisher, Hamill, Baker, and Anthony Danielsthe man inside the C-3PO dres. John Chapman, who played an X-wing captain, told The Daily Beast that there was big bucks up for grabs. Ive sounded rumors that when they go to these conventions they come away with 15, 20 magnificent, he said.

Although Chapman was only an extra, he was persuaded to go along to a ratify by an aficionado who said he would be paid hundreds of dollars just for showing up.

There were these whisperings going around, John Chapman was only an extra, whats he doing here? he mentioned. I didnt feel better about it so I descent it.

I look at all these guys and they are only sign for a living, he told. I find it a bit sad.

Chapman, whose self-deprecating form constructs him the superstar of Jon Spiras Elstree 1976 , now tours British schools with workshops based around his own room investigate line mapping the escapades of Jonnie Rocket.

He jokes about the Elstree documentary putting him on the radar for the new movies despite his original screen look consisting of a loitering kill of the back of his head. I want to be in the next Star Wars movie. Get directed by J.J. Abrams. J.J. might like to see the back of my heading, he said.

Then again, that might be too much exposure for Chapman. To make sure I dont get recognised by eateries, I always sit with my back to the wall, he laughed.

The post War of the Star Wars Stars: The Dark Side of the Convention Circuit appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[isaacathom]

ok so heres the idea for the evil team. most of the time, the villainous teams are making a statement. their appearance means something very specific, its engineered. team flare, for instance, is flashy and attention grabbing, and youre supposed to give them all of your attention, that sort of thing. team plasma are dressed as medieval knights to support an idea of chivalry, of shining armour and good deeds, to make the public believe theyre the good guys.

so you take it a different way. a team that wants to act in the shadows, individual agents acting in harmony with the greater group but ultimately alone. calls late at night deep inside houses. innocent business trips and weekend holidays. its all sneaky.

but you still want to give them a recognisable design. something that does mark them out as a group, unified. so, you keep them mostly ordinary, but with a few key items that might cause a second glance, but without context just seem like some style trend youve just sorta missed. stuff like all of them having long coats and collars that can cover their faces. stuff like them all wearing scarfs even if its summer. stuff like the same coloured shirts. stuff that individually looks generic enough, but when all combined, looks a lil smth smth. stuff like fancy lapel badges and necklaces, a belt with too many filled pouches, a hood that seems to be up more often than not. and then, in an ideal world, there’d be minor variants within that team. like, say they all that a coat and a scarf and a lapel badge. some have long skirts, some have pants, some have a button up pale shirt and some have turtleneck dark shirts. one of them has a set of hair pins that matches the badge, another wears bright coloured leggings, like you just sorta vary it up. the whole point is they seem like ordinary people. you dont think hard about seeing them.

itd get different with the higher ups, and even people like the YT. They’d have a lil more insignia stuff, like itd be more obvious. maybe one higher up is a person with a hoodie that has the teams symbol on it. then the leader, whoever that is, probably has something more formal, like a suit with the logo, a tie with the logo, shit like that. looks like its business for them.

its basically a team of secret agents, almost like team plasma v2 except they arent ninja pirates with a flying fucking ship that shoots ice lasers. 

i just think itd be fun. there could even be an element of it being homemade, like some of the first grunts you encounter clearly handsewed their insignia on their shirt’s left breast and instead of lapel badges theyve got like, those cheap paper badges that you laminate in a circle and draw with texta? like theyre more ramshackle earnest. the higher up you get, the more professional it gets, and harder it becomes to spot them in a crowd because theyve tailored their Look Perfectly.

thatd be a way thered be a brief misdirect with YT. when you first meet them, they look nice and professional, though ofc their aggressive and try to tell you to go home and they probably wont let you leave town (until you beat the gym and cause a progression in the time force). but the grunts you encounter soon after, theyre so clearly members of an evil team but dont share any obvious elements with YT beyond like. dark colours, maybe. or, alternatively, the grunts are super heavy handed in how theyre clearly in the evil team, but YT just looks. like a normal person. a light coloured coat buttoned up but loose at the bottom, jeans, a scarf. just normal. but then as you progress later, and keep seeing YT (but not strictly in direct correlation to the team) and you fight the more sophisticated grunts, you notice the commonalities, the coats, the scarf.

thatd be kinda cool. like for a brief bit you might think YT is a gym leader or maybe even roaming E4 with an ego that manifests in telling people they arent worth shit. then when you notice the commonalities and connect th dots, its like OH its a fucking evil team admin. fuck there they go!

also, itd be fun if theres a slight branch. in the sense that, when you first encounter YT as a confirmed member of the evil team, heading a bit in a city, they dont tell you their name until after you beat them. as they go to leave, they tell you their name, and tell that to the older trainer whose been mentoring you. and you can just choose not to do that. you will encounter the older trainer, shortly after in fact (they dont walk in just after the guy leaves, you meet back up with them after you leave the building). and when the older trainer demands answers to what you were doing, you get the typical pokemon limited responses. you can say ‘i was fighting team [whatsit]’ or ‘i met that guy again’. you say you were just fighting team whatsit, he goes off in a rage about how he told you not to, blah blah. but if you say you fought THAT guy again, he pauses. what about him? then, w/o dialogue choosing, your trainer tells him who YT is, like their name and what they said. and the elite trainer stops. they tell you angrily you shouldnt have gone after team whatsit, but they sigh alot. its basically the same as the other branch, but with a lot of extra pauses and that additional YT mention at the start.

then, when you get to the scene where the elite trainer attempts to flee without you, the confrontation between them and YT will play out differently. if the elite trainer KNOWS thats YT, he’ll be composed if nervous, he’ll be begging for chances, he’ll be rationalising why he fled. if the elite trainer doesnt know its YT, that revelation will shake the fuck out of him, he’ll be a quivering wreck, overcome with the emotion of the fact that YT didnt die, but survived and wants to squarely kick him in the gut off the side of a skyscraper. or something. elito knowing YT is YT will be diplomatic. elito not knowing YT is YT will be emotional. i mean both would be but still. and itd slightly alter YT’s dialogue, they’d be angry at you if you didnt tell elito, but they’ll also be sadistically pleased that they get to see how elito feels. if you did tell elito, yt is actually more emotional, because elito prepared slightly for this confrontation and yt was caught off guard.

itd make slightly less changes later. like, end game. itd have some tiny dialogue changes before that. but like, after the villain story is wrapped. lets say that once you beat the villain and leave and go celebrate, YT comes and just socks elito square in the jaw. just because theyve wanted to for years. they make a speech about how his cowardice caused people to suffer. itd be pretty bitterly emotional for YT. but how THAT ends depends on the choice. like. if you told elito, YT would actually then offer elito their hand and help him back up off the ground, they’d make a sort of apology thats a bit stumbling and weak and full of digs, but itd be clear theyve thought about what elito said in this grunt gang bang and they want to put this behind them. if you DIDNT tell elito, YT will end his speech by spitting at elito and leaving. YT would show up later, possibly as part of post-game content, or maybe they fuck off into the ether like N does, idk.

it might also change elitos outcome. if they reconnect with YT and start making amends, theyd end up in a different place post game, maybe at YTs old home, talking to their parents, and theyd commit themselves further to not doing this again. if they dont connect with YT, theyd remain in their e4 villa or whatever, cowardly again, hiding from the outside.

the idea is that if YT reconnects, it affirms to the elite trainer that theyve at least slightly changed for the better, and that they can continue to improve. if they dont reconnect, they simply fall further into that anguish. fall of the wagon, as it were. the end of that story would be them resigning their elite post and simply fading from the news.

or SOMETHING like that. there could be more variables. the idea is that you can help YT and elito at least talk out their problems and help them reconcile what happened, help elito apologise for his awful behaviour and help YT sort of atone for the bad shit they did in seeking that apology (since, yknow, they sided with the villains and did some villainous shit while also pursuing that revenge). like you can basically mediate and help them at least start a dialogue. whether itd end well or even amicably between them would be debatable. but itd be better than the two of them never really getting that chance to talk it out, to just say what they thought and have it bubble inside them for years? yknow. hence why the non-reconnect ending is all bitter. it leaves elito a cowardly wreck. it leaves yt as someone who doesnt feel satisfied with their revenge and thus continues to exercise that aggression through villainy. its Bad End, buddy.

i mean itd be stupid if bad end was tied just to that one dialogue choice so it possible be possible to mention it at other points, like when elito is just standing around and doesnt have hyper fixed dialogue, you can approach them and youd get some minor options about stuff to say. dialogue choices, mother fuckers. like you approach him and you can ask how his day is, giving you basically a semi relevant thing about how he feels at that moment. and then youd have like, an advice one, like ‘got any advice’ and hed tell you something semi relevant. and then thered be the 3rd, unique option - ‘ive got something to tell you’ and that gives you the chance to tell him about YT if you picked the other option at the original dialogue. and maybe, just in general, that third option after you tell elito about YT would let you ask about YT and get a general backstory on the kid, expanded from what elito tells you in ‘vanilla’.

tl;dr i love this idea i love this shit godddddddddddddddd

[nucliufsilver]

lil bit of a rant to all the people i dont talk to anymore

1.yknow honestly, for what its worth you did make me a better person, before i became friends with you i didnt really know what manners were, i was confused on what was right or wrong and you opened my eyes to a lot of things i probably would hate right now if i hadnt met you, examples, gay marriage, cosplay, different ways to love, transgenders etc. and that was all fine and dandy, i really loved you for that, always so kind and thoughtful of others, but i think in return i corrupted you a bit too, as a result i turned out to be a bad guy, granted i did some shit that had no excuse but so did you and bitch dont try and blow that off on me. you made me FEEL toxic, i was never going to be good enough, i was never going to be a better person, i was never going to be as nice as you or as caring, everyone would only ever see me as this toxic, stern, scary person and the sadest part of that? that actually came true lmao, no one cares for me, im alone, ive got a solid 1 friend and it isnt even fucking you because you decided i wasnt worth it and you hated me despite me trying so hard to connect back with you, all you ever did was shut me out and tell me i wasnt good enough, bitch. 

2. fuck i loved you so much, but i had no fucking idea how to show it. i know im not allowed to talk to you anymore, but before i rant off about what you did to me i really really need you to understand that i will always fucking love you, and im so so so fucking sorry for hurting you like i did, it was all i ever knew. you taught me so fucking much, you taught me its okay to open up to people and let them see my dark sides, you taught me its okay to be myself and to share my opinions, and if people didnt like that, that was okay too, you taught me how to love even though it was quite a wild ride and i didnt even figure it out until 6 months after we broke up. you taught me there was so much more i had to learn about myself before i brought other people into my life and i will always be grateful to have had you for so long. but holy fuck did you ever make me feel like shit. i fucking hated you, you never listened to what i had to say and when id say it you never believed me either, i get it was a mental thing but YOU NEEDED TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOURSELF. you made me feel gross and like i will never be a good boyfriend ever. how could i be? if i wasnt good enough for you ill never be good enough for anyone, not only that but holy fuck do you know how to run your mouth. after we broke up so many people were telling me on anon that i was toxic and gross and so much worse. i had to hide from the world for months, couldnt even go to cons for awhile because of it. i know you needed support, but at what cost? fuck you.

3. you just straight up pissed me the fuck off. you still do, I WAS NEVER FUCKING OBLIGATED TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO HAD THAT FANTASY, IM SORRY I DIDNT LIKE YOU AS MUCH AS OTHER PEOPLE BUT I NEVER DID YOU WRONG AT ALL, YET YOU STILL WENT AND TALKED SHIT BEHIND MY BACK. you hold the biggest grudges holy fuck you have no fucking chill, even your dad agreed with me and if that doesnt say youre being an immature fuck off then i have no idea what does. honestly ive never met anyone ive hated more than you, you tell people theyre fat BUT HAVE YOU LOOKED IN A FUCKING MIRROR? you make me want to throw up everytime i see you, you cant complain about being fat yet nEVER DO JACK SHIT TO SOLVE THAT LITTLE PROBLEM, ALL YOU EVER DO IS FUCKING COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR LIFE BUT YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING TO SOLVE IT. so maybe take a look at yourself and think about where youre going in life because honestly? a reality check here, you dont have ANYTHING. whoops

4. i never intended to lose you, im not even sure what i did to you? i never got closure. i never really got anything from you honestly, when i look back i just felt used, like i was just there to pass the time and you couldve left at any point. you were my everything, i didnt have anything else but you. i wish i couldve done something to change the course but i think i did everything i could, as far as my story goes you were putting me off for your girlfriend, i felt alone so i started to talk with other people, you got jealous and then one day, you were gone, didnt want anything to do with me, gossiped with others about how awful i was. what did i do to you to deserve this? what did i do to any of you? i was TERRIFIED to go to school for MONTHS because i could feel your glares as id pass by, i could feel the rumors spreading through the school, i could feel the hate, its been almost a year and i still barely speak in school and my english teacher actually tried to send me to a counselor. i still dont feel worthy to speak, or look up from the ground, or join any clubs, or go anywhere near the japanese room. i dont allow myself to do anything besides sit alone at the third floor BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO CAUSE MORE TROUBLE FOR YOU. sometimes i think about going to your hangout place just to fuck with you some more. did you know the last time we talked, when you told me you never wanted to see me again, i actually broke a locker out of frustration, i didnt want to fucking lose you. why. why did this have to happen to us. what happened. 

5. i dont even know what to say to you, honestly you saved me. i felt safe, for the first time in months i felt like i finally deserved something for myself, and i took that chance, i spent HOURS listening to you talk about things, just random stuff, i worked hard, i finally knew how love was supposed to work and i was able to use that on you, and everything was fucking perfect. this is still pretty recent so even now im crying typing this out. i miss you, i miss you, i miss you so much. why did you leave? im nothing. i loved you so much, you were the first person i truly opened up to like that since jayce, you made me forget jayce, and now i just dont know what to do. what am i supposed to do? how do i fix myself now that youre gone, i dont trust myself to fall in love, i havent even thought about dating since January because a huge part of me is still hoping youll come back apologizing, saying you miss me, and me being the biggest idiot would just forgive you on the spot. how am i supposed to move on when you left too fast for me to even blink. one day you just stopped replying, i dont know what changed, i want you back. im not as happy, im not the same. who am i now? what am i supposed to do, just please talk to me and give me some closure at least, i need it in order to move on, because i still fucking love you with all my being and i will never be able to find anyone better for me than you and i honest to god believe that. 

6. i have nothing to say to you anymore, you have no right to claim me, you have no mark anymore, you cant tell me what i can and cant do anymore, whoever you think you are to me, fucking forget it because YOU left ME, and it fucked me up, youre the real reason for all my problems, everything can be traced back to you, you left me and you have NO right to waltz back into my life without an apology expecting me to love you like youre still something to me. youre nothing. i hate you. and the moment i turn 18 youre gonna find out just exactly how much i hate you, i have no remorse or love for you, there wont be any pity, and once im done speaking with you itll be my turn to leave, only this time it will be forever, thank you and good fucking bye bitch.

[vitalmindandbody]

Five months of Trump: Muslims’ panics were high but neighbors digested by them

Racial and religion strains have been high-pitched in Northampton County in accordance with the US election. But Muslim leads have also determined a surge in support

In the third week of the first Ramadan of the Donald Trump presidency, seven Muslim households gathered for an iftar dinner to settle the days tight at a spacious home in a recently developed suburb of Easton, Pennsylvania.

Men and women congregated in separate areas. Children with iPhones and fidget spinners ranged down a hallway and through the kitchen, where sweet appointments were piled on a plateful and metal bathtub of haleem, chicken biryani, crispy south Indian chicken 65, curry and rice sat warming. To suck, there was mango lassi and milk with rooh afsah and ice sea and Coca-Cola.

After sunset, the group had a snack, and then a prayer in the basement, in a corner opposite a big TV and a deep lounge. At the end of the darknes, Rizwan Butt, chairman of the Easton-Phillipsburg Muslim Association, shared a letter that had been sending them to him at the mosque lately, following news reports of a petty cash steal by an unaffiliated maintenance worker.

The letter read TAGEND Hello Neighbor ,

I considered in the newspaper that a being plagiarize from you and I want to help change some of what was lost.

Be well , [ Signed ]

She mailed a check, Butt said. I could sit here and tell you a hundred narratives like that.

The narratives like that started to compile swiftly in late January, Butt said, after Trump firstly announced his ban on travelers from seven Muslim-majority countries, a restriction afterward revised to six.

The reaction in general, since such elections the reaction has been unbelievable, in a positive way, Butt said.

It was grim, he said of the travel costs injunction. We all understood that this was just the beginning of a broader campaign with an ultimate objectives that was defined very well in the[ presidential] expedition, which was banning more Muslims until something was figured out, whatever figured out is.

Rizwan Butt at the Muslim Federation in Easton. Photo: Mark Makela for the Guardian

Bracing for potential conflict, the Muslim community instead saw brand-new fronts of communications opening, Butt said.

Everyone you can imagine came forward. I received notes at the mosque from neighbours, concerned beings from all levels of society, saying: Were here to stand by you, we dont agrees with this, Butt said. Offers to come to the mosque to help with safety standards. One dame called me up and said she would be willing to drive the women in local communities around so that they would feel safe. She would take time off work to do that.

When Butt firstly arrived in Easton 17 years ago, he said, there were perhaps five to 10 Muslim lineages that he knew of in the immediate locality. Today there are about 100, and more than 1,000 Muslim families in the greater Lehigh Valley. More than 50% hail from south-east Asia, with additional contingents from Turkey and the Countries of the middle east, including refugees, and from the United States itself.

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.afill:#65a897 emblem

Can Trump really attain America great again? The parties of Northampton County, Pennsylvania, twice voted for Barack Obama, but in 2016 they flipped to Donald Trump. This line will report from the former sword district to find out what voters are hoping for, and question: can Trump extradite?

More from this series

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Muslim immigrants were moving into the region for the same reasons other beings do, Butt said quality of life and economic possibility. Butt is a software business engineer who grew up in Bahrain. The vice-president of the Muslim association works in insurance. The host of the recent iftar revel works in IT for Citigroup.

The quality-of-life metric had maintained some dents during the Trump campaign and subsequentlies, Butt acknowledged.

We have had some sisters, because theyre its most important tokens of Islam, as they walk around, in the way they garment, theyre prominent, he said. So theyve had some name-calling, honking on the road, thoughts of that kind. One sister who does extend herself more than others, she did get some bad statements when she was going out shopping.

But aside from that , no physical trauma, thank God. No ones come and sprayed graffiti on our mosques. Our mosques didnt receive any phone calls or letters of detest, but beings on the street did receive that.

It bubbled to the surface

The political rise of Donald Trump inflamed ethnic, ethnic and religion tensions across the United States. Northampton County, Pennsylvania, the panorama of a key Trump victory last November, was not immune. A times worth of horrid occurrences tells the tale.

Anecdotes and interviews mark bullying and name-calling in academies, including application of the N-word. A cultivate of Confederate flags last twilight, as the election approached. Verbal altercations at work, or abrupt looks from co-workers of previously concealed prejudiced feelings. Criticizing words about immigrants. Razzing in wall street of concealed Muslim maidens. Swastika graffiti. Ugly showdowns of different kinds that didnt previously seem to have happened.

Occasionally, such incidents made the working paper. In January, the district attorney charged a white student at Saucon Valley high school with cyber-harassment and ethnic coercion for sharing a video in which the student utilized the N-word and became gibes about aid the inspections and KFC while filming a black student dining chicken wings. In April, five alleged white supremacists were indicted following an FBI raid only across the county wire that officials said revealed a plot to sell pharmaceuticals, launder fund and stockpile weapons.

Over the past six months, the Guardian has been conducting interrogations in Northampton County to interrogate the characteristics of Trumps four-point victory here last November. Northampton is one of three Pennsylvania counties to vote twice for Barack Obama before falling for Trump. But unlike the other two such districts, Luzerne and Erie, Northampton has been adding residents and jobs, and property ethics are up, although the local economy has not fully recovered from the close 20 years ago of the behemoth Bethlehem steel manufacturing plant.

While social frictions here, as abroad across the United States, long predate Trump and his taunting hyperbole, they now are summarily attached to the president. Interviews with dozens of district tenants confirm that Trumps presidential safarus, succes and slowly lengthening term have coincided with a perceived uptick in bias-motivated strikes and work.

You are assuring more Confederate pennants in the Trump era. You do should be noted that, said Lance Wheeler, president of the Easton, Pennsylvania, section of the NAACP. Does race play such issues? I do was just thinking. I belief Trump did get beings to go out and referendum who thought, Hey, Americas going to be great again, meaning: We wont have a minority in charge again.

Incidents of intolerance do not define the place, lifelong both residents and most recent reachings alike are at tenderness to say. Trump followers in particular former steelworkers or evangelical Christians, Republican activists or service employees, former Democrats, contractors, clerks, tailor-makes, framers, installers, operators, businessperson, barbers have explained why they dont recollect intolerance played important roles in Trumps victory in the county.

Gary Asteak, a civil rights lawyer, nurses one of his chickens. Photograph: Mark Makela for the Guardian

People cast ballots for Trump because they did not like Hillary Clinton and were starving for change , not out of bias, they say. It can seem as if every former Clinton supporter in the district has a acquaintance or many friends “whos” Trump followers, and vice versa. The US may seem to be in a ceaseless theatre of schism and frenzy, but in this district, those tolerating social contacts show the opposite.

And then there were those two Obama success. In 2008, Americas first black chairman prevailed here by 12 extents, with the highest voter turnout comparable to that of 2016.

Gary Asteak handles criminal protection occasions for the ACLU in Easton, where he was born and has practiced constitution for four decades.

The Trump era gave rise to the sense that the truth doesnt topic, lies are OK, superiority and pontification are rewarded, bullying efforts, and racial disparagement froths to the surface, said Asteak, sitting on a porch on his chicken farm in lower Nazareth, where he is township attorney. Using the N-word and other pejorative citations become OK because the kids are hearing it at home. They think that because the crowds are heartening when Trump says hurl em out, its OK to put your hands on someone.

It bubbled to the surface.

pennsylvania map

You had Obama , now we have Trump

The Northampton county seat, Easton, home to Crayola crayons, is remarkable in the region for its racial and ethnic diversity. The city of 27,000 residents is 14% African American, 14% Latino and merely 67% lily-white, compared against 88% in the county overall. Easton is home to age-old, launched Italian and Jewish parishes, a Lebanese community, and east European, Irish, German, and white-hot Anglo-Saxon Protestant parishes. The Hispanic and Latino community in Easton includes Colombians, Nicaraguans, Venezuelans, Puerto Ricans, Costa Ricans and Cubans.

Weve always been very diverse. Thats one of our enormous strengths as a community, saidBob Freeman, who grew up in Easton and has sufficed as a commonwealth delegates of the city since 1982. It presents us our vibrancy, it grants us our vigour. And it also has stirred, I belief, for a strong, progressive Democratic party here.

Donald Trump failed mischievously in Easton, reaping precisely 25% 30% of the vote in most precincts. Yet there was a tomb concern that chairwoman Trump would be elected at the national level, said Phil Davis, a clergyman who has led the Greater Shiloh Baptist Church on the citys south side for 12 times, on the ends of his fathers 30 -year tenure.

The church sits on the place of a former African American vicinity that was razed in the 1970 s in a misguided slum clearance scheme, Davis said. A Sunday service might suck 1,000 beings, plus others who watch online. The congregation is 85% African American and includes members of pedigrees who moved to the region about a hundred years ago, outline by the manufacturing boom at Bethlehem Steel and driven from the south by Jim Crow-era ethnic oppression.

Pastor Phil Davis of Shiloh Baptist faith. Image: Mark Makela for the Guardian

During the Trump campaign, Davis said, he had counseled multiple community members who had experienced racist attacks at work.

It was almost as if the candidacy of Donald Trump emboldened those who may have find some tier of combating racism and precisely had not has been able expres that, Davis said. There were a few incidents, and we had to encourage kinfolks not to retaliate in kind, as people were spewing dislike specific at African American folks.

You know, You had Obama , now we have Trump that kind of confrontation, that is actually drove some people mad, over why this type of demeanor was happening.

Anecdotes about such workplace discords come up in the talks with white people in Northampton County, extremely. A former steelworker who asked not to be mentioned told the story of a face-off with a fellow lily-white bus motorist whose badmouthing of Obama intensified with the growing success of the Trump campaign.

I came right out one day and I told this one guy who was really he said, you are familiar with: One bullet could have solved our problems. And to me thats not a good way to talk, the former steelworker said.

I looked at him right in the eyes and I said, You know what, you know why you dont like Obama? Because hes a[ N-word ]. Say it. Ill guess more of you. Thats whether you are dont like Obama.

He lives up in the boonies, you are familiar with, the good ol sons. He merely went back like this a scornful brandish of the hand he didnt want to hear that from me. Well admit it, you are familiar with?

election map

Our system is broken

Racially accused happens inside schools in the past time have been especially ruffling and not specially uncommon, multiple parties said. After the video of the African American student gobbling chicken ran, there was a physical showdown between the two students concerned, and the African American student was charged with misdemeanor assault.

Asteak, the Easton lawyer, represented the student in the case provided for( the student eventually registered a diversionary program and was not imprisoned ). Theres been more of a gurgling undercurrent of school agitations, Asteak said. But these situations are kept under wraps. It was an unusual place in Saucon, where the police stepped in and charged the kid.

The episode is not closed, nonetheless. In May, the parent education the African American student accompanied a federal civil right event against the school district, alleging a default by the school to stem incidents of ethnic bullying going back to 2013.

It all starts in the home, said Wheeler, the NAACP president. When kids act out, when kids start wearing belt buckles with the Confederate flag on it, thats all in the home. Home should be able to say, Listen, where do you get that from? Thats not in our house.

Children sell lemonade in Easton. Picture: Mark Makela for the Guardian

Prejudice is learnt, and learned, and demo. Race is learned.

After news spread about the FBI raid on the white supremacist cell in neighboring Phillipsburg, Davis said, members of the Greater Shiloh church decided to hold a rally in the city to try to raise some healing to the community.

I dont want to paint a picture of a city that has not worked diligently to draw poise and equality to our community, Davis continued. The difficulty, I anticipate, is that our system is broken. And when the system is break-dance, change is very difficult.

Easton is a great, diverse metropolitan, Wheeler said. Theres editions out there. We cant give that extend. Easton, its not set back. But theres some work to do.

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War of the Star Wars Stars: The Dark Side of the Convention Circuit

The eye-opening documentary Elstree 1976 chronicles the plight of the Stars Wars background actors battling for dollars on the convention circuit.

He says there is a clear hierarchy among the actors, who are infuriated that “the mens” in masks often attract the most attention.My look is in the movie, everyone whos got a face in the movieit drives us mad, he remarked .

For hundreds of performers, bit-part participates, costume-dwellers, and droids, be contained in Star Wars in 1977 was the moment that would chassis their livesthey were granted immortality.

While Harrison Ford was catapulted onto the Hollywood -Alist, pretty much everyone else has succumbed to the profitable enticement of the Star Wars convention circuit.

And were not just talking about Luke and Leia. Scores of actors “whos” disguised by helmets, prosthetics, face concealments, and voice-overs nearly 40 years ago can still pull in six-figure annual carry on the world circuitall they have to do is been demonstrated and sign their names.

With so many fan dollars up for grabs, and so many actors jostling for access, dont underestimate the ability of the dark side.

Theres quite a lot of politicking, Paul Blake, who played Greedo, illustrates in the mind-boggling new documentary Elstree 1976 .

The film focuses on the lesser brightness in the Star Wars family and how “peoples lives” have unfolded since that long hot English summer at Elstree Studios merely north of London. Many of them are still cleaved to the breast of the George Lucas empire.

Angus MacInnes, who played an X-wing aviator known as Gold Leader, said he was initially reluctant to cash in at the conventions. When I firstly went to them I conceived these people are going to be so bizarre, he added. And some of them were!

Like many of my honourable colleagues, the Canadian actor soon accepted that it was worth sitting at a fold-out table and signing your reputation if multitudes of Star Wars geeks were willing to hand over wads of cash in exchange.

He says there is a clear hierarchy among the actors, who are infuriated that “the mens” in masks often attract the most attention. My appearance is in the movie, everyone whos got a face in the movieit drives us mad, he said.

I wasnt a fleck on the landscape, I was in shot, the actor told The Daily Beast. If you are uncredited it doesnt mean you werent in the film.

Lyons was actually in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope twice: You peek him at the edge of one shot as a medal bearer, and then he is visualized beneath a helmet in the backdrop of another background playing a Massassi Temple Guard.

He now does at least five Star Wars agreements a year, with looks as far gone as Japan. It got me out of the house doing pacts, he said.

The British actor commissions 15 ($ 23) to clue a photograph, 25 ($ 38) to signal a poster. Bit greedy of me, I must admit, he suggested. Some beings charge 10 fine, I accuse 15.

Lyons answers its not only the money, he adoration the opportunities to get away on the road and encounter devotees who lap up his legends of long lunches with Mark Hamill and that time he ended Kenny Baker taking a nap inside R2-D2.

It helped me a lot during my sadnes, he disclosed. His wife left him in 2007, after 18 years, and he told me he saw suicide many times. The Star Wars community was one of the things that obstructed him croaking, even if some of the more established performers look down on him: They get kind of jealous that youre taking some of the action.

Dave Prowse says hes not in it for the moneythats bullshit, remarked Lyons. But Im not.

Prowse is a bona fide Star Wars heavyweight even though neither his look nor his articulation appeared in any of the films. The former bodybuilding endorse was “the mens” within the Darth Vader suit in all three original movies.

While hitting the first movie, it was difficult to hear his West Country twang through the helmet on located and George Lucas explained that wasnt a problem as they would go into a studio and re-record the spokesperson afterwards. I naturally assumed it would be me, he said in Elstree 1976 . Unfortunately for me they couldnt have picked a better voiceover performer than James Earl Jones.

That hasnt stopped him becoming a regular on the route, however. I set Dave Prowse is Darth Vader on my autograph, “theyre saying” could you do Dave Prowse as Darth Vader?

He worsened. They would have been quite happy for[ Darth Vader] to have been namelessbut here I am now, he enunciated, although there have been a few snags along the way. Ive been are prohibited from the Star Wars Celebration weekends and Disney Star Wars articulate Im persona non grata.

Prowse belongs among the top echelon of Star Wars stars along with Carrie Fisher, Hamill, Baker, and Anthony Danielsthe man inside the C-3PO dres. John Chapman, who played an X-wing captain, told The Daily Beast that there was big bucks up for grabs. Ive sounded rumors that when they go to these conventions they come away with 15, 20 magnificent, he said.

Although Chapman was only an extra, he was persuaded to go along to a ratify by an aficionado who said he would be paid hundreds of dollars just for showing up.

There were these whisperings going around, John Chapman was only an extra, whats he doing here? he mentioned. I didnt feel better about it so I descent it.

I look at all these guys and they are only sign for a living, he told. I find it a bit sad.

Chapman, whose self-deprecating form constructs him the superstar of Jon Spiras Elstree 1976 , now tours British schools with workshops based around his own room investigate line mapping the escapades of Jonnie Rocket.

He jokes about the Elstree documentary putting him on the radar for the new movies despite his original screen look consisting of a loitering kill of the back of his head. I want to be in the next Star Wars movie. Get directed by J.J. Abrams. J.J. might like to see the back of my heading, he said.

Then again, that might be too much exposure for Chapman. To make sure I dont get recognised by eateries, I always sit with my back to the wall, he laughed.

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