#notepad rt++

[tech-tab-data-services]

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[glasspyramid2211]

_g ss_d st rt n_w ld_ xpl n_ t._wh t's_ _m n t r?

I can't understand you!! Let's try this!

(he takes out a notepad and a crayon)

write it out, your voice sounds choppy

[icrconversions26]

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[darkmaga-returns]

Mar 22, 2025

00:00:00 - The guys joke about the audio quality and encourage listeners to use their imagination with the audio-only format. Mike shares stories from the homestead, including his dog chasing off a fox. Paranormal topics teased: haunted TVs, pyramids, and the bizarre superhero "Nun Man."

00:10:00 - Haunted television deep dive: The hosts discuss horror movies (Poltergeist, The Ring) and historical tech-related ghost stories. Early TV tech led to paranoia and ghost sightings, with theories even suggesting TVs might one day tune into the spirit world.

00:20:00 - Stories from the 1950s about ghostly faces burned into screens. Examples of TVs reacting to dog whistles and phone rings due to early remote tech. Some people blamed TVs for violent crimes or demonic possession. A bizarre UK broadcast interruption from 1977 features a message from the "Ashtar Galactic Command."

00:30:00 - The 2000 Crimea alien broadcast incident is discussed: a green humanoid appeared on TVs during the night, speaking an unknown language. A similar case happened in Portugal. The hosts speculate that TVs may induce altered states allowing alien contact. Mike critiques ghost tours that play up theatrics instead of treating the paranormal seriously.

00:40:00 - The haunted New Zealand parliament tour includes tales of mysterious deaths, ghost cats, and singing ghosts in the bathroom. Mike prefers serious presentations over costumed actors. A story is shared about a lawmaker’s skull being stolen and recovered decades later.

00:50:00 - The “Nun Man” story unfolds: a Dominican man lived 22 years as a nun after being mistaken for a girl. He fathered children in two different convents before being exposed. His story inspired books and TV shows and has modern-day relevance to gender discussions.

01:00:00 - More on Nun Man: he never met his child and lives today as a tailor. Headlines follow: AI art loses copyright protection, and a Missing 411 Kickstarter campaign for a new documentary is launched. Mike plans to back the project and encourages listeners to support it.

01:10:00 - David Paulides' new Missing 411: National Parks film aims to investigate missing persons cases using new access laws. Mike discusses the strange refusal of national parks to release missing persons lists. Trey Hudson from The Meadow Project may appear on the show for updates.

01:20:00 - A caller celebrates finishing the entire OBDM back catalog. Mike reminisces about old co-hosts and plays sound drops from musician RT. Discussion shifts to an odd viral incident where a man confronts a Tesla driver, highlighting the increasing tribalism around electric vehicles.

01:30:00 - The hosts revisit Gene Simmons’ canceled solo tour due to low ticket sales and overpriced packages. They contrast it with more reasonably priced artists and joke about how out of touch Simmons is despite being worth $400 million.

01:40:00 - A 65-foot penis painted on a Berlin school roof is visible on Google Earth. The school’s failed attempts to cover it up only made it more ridiculous. The prank is measured in “Ryan Reynolds” units, naturally.

01:50:00 - A wolf-dog hybrid in India sells for over €5.3 million. The dog’s beefy look sparks jokes and speculation about its behavior. The buyer makes money by charging people to take selfies with his dogs.

02:00:00 - Microsoft now locks AI features in Notepad and Paint behind a paywall, requiring a Microsoft 365 subscription. The team vents about creeping subscription models, including how WordPad is now discontinued and users are pushed toward cloud-based apps.

02:10:00 - Microsoft urges Windows 10 users to “just buy a new PC” to use Windows 11, triggering frustration. The hosts share stories of how OS upgrades are often disruptive and how both Apple and Microsoft are alienating users with forced changes and bloated features.

[matrimonialautotypesoftware]

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[spanglewing]

(pinned post WIP becauswwwoah this is long lol) (moving to a cardd link soon because of how long this is fhsjjfkd)

uhh anyway this is a zelda sideblog where i post headcanons and stuff i guess

main: wormworker || she/her, queer, autistic, white person, born just in time to watch my older brother play ocarina of time on the n64 and to remember when the twin towers went boom

i've had zelda as a special interest off and on for yearssss so i have hella headcanons that are like embedded in my skin or something

random blog info that may be important i guess:

-Link is an adult in all my posts unless stated otherwise

-Not an RP blog because I'm awful at communicating with people even with some level of fantasy involved

-I try to tag things (trigger warnings, content notes, etc) extensively, but sometimes the potentially triggering thing feels very vague/abstract to me so I don't know what tag to put. Ask or message me if you want something tagged. There's no such thing as a "silly" trigger.

-I'm Disabled and really fucking don't like the ableist R slur, so you don't need to worry about that here, comrades.

-I give zero fucks and I don't have this blog for popularity or any of that. I post/write/headcanon/ship things with the same level of concern for judgement as if everyone else on this bitch of an Earth was dead.

Ongoing headcanons / headcanons that are always a thing to me regardless of AUs or whatever, and that I don't always feel like posting context for:

-Link is nonspeaking and uses sign language. Typically, Hylian Sign Language. Not a lot of people he meets know sign language (just like real life smh), so he keeps a notepad with him to communicate with anyone who doesn't. (Every corresponding iteration of Zelda knows HSL). Link can also sing, as his status of nonspeaking has to do with his brain and neurology, not his vocal folds.

-Link has PTSD, Rape Trauma Syndrome, and is hypersexual. RTS makes him mostly unable to make and keep meaningful friendships and relationships. Zelda is the exception; they're close like sister and brother (I don't ship Zelink lol sorry). RTS and PTSD make him seem very closed off and serious, but he's quite cheerful and gregarious once he gets to know/trust someone.

-Link's number one toxic trait is that he's hella unfaithful to romantic partners (and will sleep with people who are very much married). He would cheat on God.

-Link is half dryad, a siren-like creature who can lure people with seductive provocation. His mother was a dryad, but because she died before she could raise Link, Link doesn't have control over his dryad qualities. He can't just cast a spell on someone and they'll have the hots for him, it's more of a passive aura he constantly has that makes him have an otherworldly alluring vibe. This is especially powerful if he smiles at someone, laughs, sings, or holds someone's hand. He uses this to his advantage to get what he wants.

-All Links are afab, but identify differently in terms of gender. Most of them are a combination of male, nonbinary, and genderfluid.

-Most Zeldas identify as just female, but some are female + nonbinary, nonbinary, or genderfluid.

-Link is exclusively attracted to men. Zelda is exclusively attracted to women.

-Ganondorf is actually a man named Gin Duragmire. Ganondorf is his name when he's possessed by the spirit of Ganon. In addition to being a Gerudo King, Gin is a doctor and a practical healer (the modern day version of his practice would be a combination of a nurse and a paramedic). Gin is the true intended holder of the Triforce of Power because of his impeccable leadership skills and assertiveness.

-The Happy Mask Seller's real name is Ru. They're Intersex and don't identify with any specific gender (they don't care what pronouns people use or how other people perceive them). Their face is actually a mask that, similar with Ganondorf, they were possessed by under the hand of an evil entity. The moon children in Majora's Mask are actually quadruplets and Ru's biological children (their other parent being the evil entity who cursed Ru). Part of Ru's need for Link to retrieve Majora's Mask was for the moon children's safe return to Ru (who was mostly powerless under the curse). Ru themself is a demigod of sorts, and is able to transcend certain laws of space and time. They know about past, future, and alterdiminsional Links and the challenges they face. Ru has even been Link's mother in some of Link's iterations, so they always have a very sentimental and protective view of him.

[bpoconversions]

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[intellitechdataservices]

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[doomalade]

Intro scroll art skateboard? Cool.

Basic mug? Eh.

Heat active Curious Cat mug? Cool.

Fairytale book notepad? Neat.

Weiss glyph hoodie? Neat I guess.

Weiss screenshot shirt? Did they not learn their lesson from the Bee shirt?

Little in a pocket? Funny in concept, lame in practice.

Tie Dye shirt? Funky but where the fuck is Ruby?

And this is it? This is all that there is to offer?

What pathetic merch. As if it wasn’t obvious already that RT was going broke.

I'm dropping the link to the tweet because the fans in the replies are not happy with how stinky this merch is.

Also that Weiss screenshot shirt is ASS.

[p-antomime]

Bubblegum boy's he♡rt.

ㅤ— minors don’t interact. ┊ wc: 3K.

ㅤcontent + warnings: 18+, including: switch!haruchiyo, unprotected sex, mention of blood & death, slight breeding kink, nicknames, violence, humiliation kink, cunniligus, blowjob, face sitting/fucking, fmf, overstimulation, choking, mindbreak, fingering, manipulation, monsterfucking¹, slight gore, dark content.

ㅤpairings: sanzu haruchiyo x tomie!f!reader.

request. ┊ tokyo rev. masterlist!

¹ = only because tomie is not human in the original version of junji ito's story.

"My friend died... And her dead body was found in various places all over Tokyo, in lil’ pieces."

"And there were so many pieces, I don't think they've even found everything yet!"

There was a huge murmur and a big mess of low voices that eventually became loud because they were all together.

It was your funeral.

I mean, not yours specifically. Because you felt more alive than ever when you walked through the gates of the university the next morning, the last time you were there was before the school trip with the college group that apparently liked you too much. Liked you enough to cover up your murder and also cut your body into small pieces to be thrown in random places in Tokyo that should not be discovered.

In addition, your real heart stayed with your only friend in the room, since no other girl actually liked you very much.

But now your heart was in perfect condition beating quietly in your chest beneath your white social blouse, unlike the horrified faces of your classmates when they saw you walking down the hall and waving cheerfully.

The pearl-studded tiara on your head that was your most obvious signature since the first class of your first year of college made it obvious that you were the same old; same old girl who should be dead.

The same girl who made women jealous and boys want to kill for you.

And Sanzu Haruchiyo was one of those boys, besides he was one of the few who didn't join the big gossip wheel to slander you after your death in the virtual group room and also one of the few who followed you up and down, almost like a puppy.

The news of your death shook him to the point that he thought they were lying about it just to see him cry himself to sleep last Saturday.

Poor Haruchiyo, he is as sweet as milk chocolate. And you are as poisonously toxic as Belladonna.

Your colleagues, especially those who killed you and felt close to their fingers your flesh being cut open with a sharp knife and the blood beginning to drip on the grass that day, looked at you as if you were a ghost.

But, ghost? Oh, Tomie was not one, she’s just a normal girl. Perhaps extraordinarily beautiful, owner of silky soft hair, delicate skin and a strange leadership making others kill for her.

And yet Haruchiyo felt his chest fill with life as soon as you walked through the auditorium door with a small smile on your lips and walked among the seats to take yours.

Your ears could pick up a few distressed, frightened, surprised comments and you remained indifferent waiting for the class to begin.

"Wasn't she dead?”

"Man... I literally cut... her fucking chest open, must be a twin of hers..."

"And I even felt her veins rupturing, bruh, impossible... I guess I'm kind of crazy, imagining things..."

"I was told this bitch was dead, the fuck ‘s she doing here today?”

"Tsk, she’s wearing the same red lipstick as always... not even after death she becomes a normal person!”

Ironically, 80% of the comments came from girls.

If before Haruchiyo's eyes admired you as an angel, now they stared at you as if you were a goddess, the pupils dilated and the bluish color seeming to vibrate like the falling waters of the Babylonian hanging gardens.

You are alive, he had been lied to. Again, he had reason to live again, his heart nearly piercing the ribs was proof of that.

Your eyes rose from your notepad and locked with Sanzu's, his cheeks tinged red and you nodded slightly in his direction.

And he thought you were greeting someone who was behind or beside him, so he looked away and when he faced you again, he nodded back shyly.

Your hand gestured with your index and middle fingers calling him to sit next to you in the auditorium and Haruchiyo didn't even wait for you to put your hand down to gather up all his things and walk clumsy toward you to take the seat next to you.

— How are you today, Haruchiyo? — Your voice was a melody to him, Sanzu felt in heaven. — Did you miss me this weekend?

— Oh, yes... yes! Very much! — He chuckled embarrassedly, looking up at you. — You look... flawless, angelic almost.

— Almost? — You took a lock of your hair and ran it through your fingers and he swallowed hard, following the movements with his eyes.

— You always are, but today you are a lil’ bit more! — He gave you a warm, almost silly smile. — Today you look worthy of being a movie star.

— So why ‘m I not seeing you with a camera to make a movie of us?

It was fun. All this wordplay with the men who stood at your feet and it was even more fun to watch Haruchiyo trying not to have a fit while answering.

He was so cute, with his gum pink hair always neatly arranged in a well-made mullet. It was almost painful to use him to kill other men.

— I-I can buy one... if you want! — He fought the urge to add: "I'd do anything for you, Tomie”.

Speaking of Tomie, you had been given this nickname since the beginning of your classes at the university, perhaps because you were able to calmly captivate, little by little, any man who passed your way, like a river. Or maybe because someone spread a rumor that wasn't exactly just a rumor of having seen you having sex with one of the college professors near the Shakujii River.

— I want something else, actually. — You answered with a small smile, which would go unnoticed by anyone, but not by Haruchiyo, who had memorized your every feature.

— And I...

Oh, the professor has arrived. The conversation died suddenly and you turned to see even the teacher walking down the aisle between the seats, looking at you as if you were a haunting.

The hour passed quickly for Haruchiyo's liking, he wanted to spend some more time sitting next to you, after all, he had never been this close to you for the previous months.

He would kill just to sit by your side during an ordinary class on a cloudy Monday. But now, the boredom of the class was doing that to him, even though his eyes were going every second to admire your calm and carefree face.

When class was over, Sanzu didn't even want to leave the classroom to go to another; he wanted to spend the rest of the day, the week, the year, the life with you.

It was almost two hours before you met him again and almost like a stroke of luck, because he was in the university infirmary alone trying to take care of a knee injury that had been acquired when he accidentally twisted his foot on the stairs going to the laboratory and fell down.

A small smile appeared on your face before you decided that for the rest of the day there would be no classes. Not for you and not for him.

Poor thing, he needed someone to look after him.

— Haruchiyo? — You called out to him as you entered the infirmary and immediately pushed the door open. — What happened to your knee?

He felt his cheeks blush the same color as the living flesh on his knee, at least the blood had been wiped off.

— I just hurt myself going to the lab. — He shrugged and you leaned over to pretend that you wanted to see the wound a little better, but in reality you wanted to make your cleavage more obvious for him to see. — It's nothing serious!

— Uh? Of course it's serious! — You exclaimed, forcing an overly concerned tone before you knelt down in front of him, took the cotton pad from his hand, and began to swab it around the open wound on his skin. — If you don't clean it properly, it could get infected! And you’ll probably feel more pain than necessary just because of that.

Your body leaned a little closer against his leg, your tits brushing just below his wound and he swallowed hard because he felt guilty that he was starting to feel horny in a situation where you were trying to help him.

— But you... — Haruchiyo propped his hands up on the low bed in the infirmary. — Did it hurt? — You looked at him confused before throwing the cotton in the trash and picking up another to soak in the disinfectant solution. — When you... they told me that you died, Tomie, that they cut your whole body and even... — He wanted to tell you that they had even sent him explicit pictures, but lacked the courage.

— Oh, dead? Honey, I'm standing right in front of you, aren't I? There's no way I'm dead. — A gentle smile appeared on your lips and you returned to the work of tending to his wound.

— Your body doesn't hurt...? From all the cuts and... — You stammered.

— I don't have any cuts on my body, dear, look. — You stepped back and raised your arms, puffed out your chest, gestured to your legs. — I'm perfectly fine and you’ll be too.

In the minutes that passed, Haruchiyo started trying to ask about your private life, trying to forget about the murder, but in the end, he was your puppy and was trying to act like a future boyfriend.

— There! Brand new! — You exclaimed, interrupting his voice, as you finished disinfecting the wound and hands rested on his knees. Your eyes rose to look at his and his cheeks flushed slightly, the blood from his body going to concentrate in the middle of his legs. — Besides, Haruchiyo... remember what I said earlier today? That I wanted something other than a camera? — Your fingers sneaked up his thighs, you could feel every muscle flexing under his pants. — Wanna know what it was?

— Y-Yes... I do, I've been all day just... — His eyes fell on the hands dangerously close to his dick that was already starting to get hard. — Thinking about it.

— Oh, you did? — A small smile appeared on your lips and you moved palms away from his body to go and tuck two locks of your hair behind the tiara. — ‘M I always on your mind? — Haruchiyo swallowed hard, feeling like prey taking dangerous bait.

— I don't want you to think I'm some creepy guy, Tomie... — He whispered, too embarrassed to answer the question directly and your hands returned to his thighs, now his cock was fully hardened and forming a boner beneath the pants.

— I’d never have thought you were a creepy guy, Haruchiyo! — You nodded for emphasis. — You're so cute and handsome, I've never heard anyone say anything bad about you... — Your fingers brushed against his dick and he gasped, trying to bite the lips to stifle it. — And you always like to help others, don't you? — His head nodded in agreement, your hands going to unbutton his pants. — And you’d do whatever I needed, right? — He whispered "Yes, anything" almost automatically. — Everything? Absolutely everything? — His underwear was pulled down with the pants and your tongue ran over the lips as you saw his pink tip already dripping pre-cum.

— Yes, everything, every single thing for you! — Sanzu nodded desperately and grunted in frustration as you got up off the floor.

He thought you were going to leave him there to get off alone, but, in reality, what you did was lean toward him and take his lips in a slow, sensual kiss that took his breath away completely.

His hands came up to hook themselves in your social blouse to start opening its buttons, and the time to distract him with the kiss was perfect for you to use your own powers to make and materialize from the corner of the face a clone in your image that looked exactly like you. Perfect for reducing Haruchiyo to a drooling mess.

You pushed him back, making him lie on the bed, and knelt down again as your clone tangled fingers in his pink hair and pulled him in for another kiss.

Haruchiyo thought he was dreaming, although the touches of your delicate fingers on the swollen tip of his long, pretty cock seemed all too real. And even though he thought he was dreaming, he still brought hands to the clone's clothes to undress her body while you began to pump his dick gently.

In a matter of seconds, your mouth was around his shaft, up and down, up and down, and his fingers were sliding through the folds of the fake Tomie before she sat up on his face the way he had dreamed so many times.

And it was even more mind-blowing to think that you were feeling exactly the same thing he was doing to your clone. Every lick, every suck, every wet kiss on your clit, all making you moan around him and eventually a hand of his clamped down on your hair to try to force your face further against his groin, to make you swallow him until you choked.

You even let him force hips against your mouth and fuck your face, after all, it was worth having your mouth used if he was also indirectly eating you out and making your panties get wet in a mixture of saliva and slick.

You could even hear Haruchiyo's gasping moans being muffled by the clone's pussy and as lifting the face a little, he looked like a complete mess as soon as she got off his face and let you get a nice view of his wet chin, dilated pupils and reddened cheeks.

As soon as your eyes locked, his cock twitched against your tongue and you let it out of your mouth. He wouldn't cum anywhere but inside you.

— Oh, look at you, is two too many for you, Haru? — A cynical chuckle escaped you as you looked from his dick with a red circle at its base from your now smudged lipstick to his flushed face and your body rising up to climb over his.

And, yes, two was too much for him. But it was one ‘too many’ that he was willing to take.

— N-No, please, I need more and... — One of your hands wrapped around his neck and you sat on his groin, one leg on either side of his body.

— I know what you need, bubblegum boy. — An embarrassed, slurred groan escaped him as he heard you call him that, it's a nice nickname for a nice puppy. — I always know, don't I? — You rolled over against his cock and Haruchiyo's hands came down on your waist to make you rub yourself harder against him.

— Yes, y-yes mhm! Always, you always do. — He groaned again as he felt your clone's hands grab his hair and pull him into another more needy kiss.

After pulling your soaking wet panties aside and lifting your short skirt, you slowly guided his dick into your pussy and sat on him at once, unable not to moan as you felt every vein pulsing against your walls.

And, damn it, you had no idea that Haruchiyo was this close to cumming. He ended up dumping his first load of cum almost the same second your cunt swallowed him to the base.

The internal pressure of the jets made you almost lose your balance. It was so good, psychedelically good. Sanzu's hands on your hips held you still and he began to thrust into your insides enjoying the feeling of being able to fuck his cum into you and feel the overstimulation taking over his body.

A white circle joining the one made by your lipstick at the base of his shaft as it moved in and out of your tight pussy.

Your hands resting on his chest and head falling back each time he hit your G-spot and pushed you closer and closer to orgasm.

You took five of his ten fingers from your waist and brought them to the fake Tomie's dripping pussy to make him rub and press against her clit and then slide three fingers inside her.

The sensation was too much for your body, you were too full and felt as if your mind was going to break. Deep down, that's exactly what you wanted, but this came in the form of an intense orgasm that made your walls clench around his cock with enough pressure to almost not let go again.

Your hand, gripping Haruchiyo's wrist, forced him to keep fingering your clone and making you keep feeling full, your body going down on his dick and continuing to milk him. You needed to feel the amazing sensation of having the pressure of his cum jets again, even if it caused overstimulation.

All the while, he was busy sucking and licking the fake Tomie's tits until you tangled your fingers in his hair and forced him to look at you.

— Inside ngh, I want it inside again, got it? — You asked, and you could tell by his unfocused eyes that he wasn't even paying attention, the pleasure was already frying his brain and turning him into your complete slave. — All your cum inside me, that's what you wanted all this time, isn't it?

And his next climax hit his body full on as he babbled several "yes, yes" and thrust hard inside your pussy to pour his cum as deep as possible, filling you to the brim and making you moan loudly while your other hand went to the clone's neck to choke and suffocate her without caring about her fingers clutching at your wrist trying to stop you.

Now there was only room for one Tomie. And you were the most beautiful, the only one who deserved to live.

As her unconscious body fell beside Haruchiyo's, he looked at you incredulously, his breathing quickened yet.

Oh, it wasn't a dream after all.

— You said you'd do anything for me, didn't you, bubblegum boy? — You took his face in hands before kissing him and letting his cock pull out of you so that his cream was dripping down your thighs. — Then burn her body to ashes, ‘til there’s nothing left. — You whispered, lips brushing against his. — And then go home and change your clothes, preferably into ones that can be burned as well.

The people who killed you before had better lock their doors tight.

ㅤ🏷 tagging: @festive @wakaslut @strawberrysanzu @bontensucker @wakasa-wifey @manjiroscum @inu1gf @ravenina14 @saaraunicorn @ranilingus @dokidokimanji @mizurimirai @sleepy3 @kuroaka @slut4manjiro @zuuki @qudvxnkanx @hirwishin .

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[toyboy-molloy]

| also on ao3 |

“Eddie...” Richie breathed, wringing his hands nervously, “EddieEddieEddie, um...would you- will you go with me to- to my Netflix premiere...asmydate?”

“Great,” Beverly smiled forcefully, although she didn’t sound convinced. She rubbed his arms supportively, “that was great, Rich. Now, try it again without the sweating and looking like you wanna puke, yeah?”

Richie groaned, dropping into Bev's office chair which wouldn’t have been a problem if she wasn’t currently trying to take his measurements for his new suit. Sensing an impending meltdown, Bev gestured at her assistant, who quickly handed Richie a freshly poured glass of bourbon. He mumbled a thanks before knocking back the liquid.

“He’s gonna say ‘no’, laugh at me, call me an asshole and I’ll be stuck with fucking Steve.” Bev began nonchalantly taking his sleeve measurements, a sly smile on her face that didn’t go unnoticed, “what?” She shrugged, making notes on her notepad. Richie shook his head, gesturing at the assistant for another drink, “you’ve got a mean streak, keeping secrets from me, Beverly Hanscom. I thought we were bros.”

“Eddie’s been asking every one of us if you have a date yet.”

Richie stared at her for a moment. He waved a hand dismissively, “he’s just curious.”

“He said to Bill ‘do you think he’ll ask me?’" She was grinning, watching Richie’s reaction, “it was a slip of the tongue, he was so embarrassed.”

“Shit...” his hands shook as he brought the second drink to his mouth, swallowing the burning liquid, “shitshitshit, what am I gonna do?”

“Do you want me to spell it out for you?” 

Richie eventually shook his head, slowly extracting his phone from his pocket. He stared at Eddie’s name for a full minute, taking a deep breath as he typed.

hey, eds, can we talk? my place in ten? rt

Eddie was taking his sweet time replying. In reality, it had only been a couple of minutes but in Richie-time, this was a rejection. His head dropped to Bev’s desk.

“There. Happy now? Fucking humiliation...”

Richie trailed off as his phone chimed; he grabbed it so quickly he nearly hauled it across the room. He shakily unlocked his phone, reading the message both eagerly and with a sense of dread.

sorry, I was out jogging. can you come to me? I just gotta hop in the shower. you can let yourself in. ek

“Fuck.”

Beverly read the message over his shoulder, smirking, “that reminds me, I’ve got a new line of couples suits that would look great on you guys.”

“Oh, yeah, laugh it up, Hanscom,” and that she did. Richie flipped her off, pulling on his jacket, pointing accusingly at her, “but I when I get to Eddie’s and see him in the arms of a smoking hot twenty year old, then you’ll be sorry.”

“He doesn’t want a smoking hot twenty year old, he wants you, moron.”

Richie smiled at her sarcastically, hugging her goodbye and thanking her for her help. He didn’t want to get his hopes up...but what if she was right? Suddenly, he couldn’t wait to get to Eddie’s.

xoxoxoxoxox

Richie arrived at Eddie’s quicker than he probably should have. So what if he was eager? He was in love with the guy, who could blame him? He let himself into the apartment with the spare key, shoving his shaking hands into his pockets. It was as clean as he remembered and he smiled, approaching the cabinet that contained his photos. He saw the one of the Losers as children, squished into the photobooth, the many selfies of Eddie and the Losers, most of them with himself. He was too distracted to hear the bathroom door open until he heard a yelp.

“Jesus, Rich...” Eddie stood in the doorway, wearing nothing but a towel covering his lower half. His hand was pressed to the scar on his chest and he breathed a sigh of relief, “shit, I didn’t expect you here yet.”

"No, it’s cool...” Richie replied in a slightly high-pitched voice, forcing his eyes to the ceiling. It really wasn’t cool, it was boiling fucking hot, like the steam from the bathroom filled the room. Oh God, don’t get a boner, please do not get a boner. think of something anything. Eddie’s Mom. Eddie’s Mom in a bikini. He gestured vaguely, his mouth dry, “I’ll wait if you wanna get dressed.”

“Nope, I’m good,” for a horrible moment, Richie thought he’d be forced to ask Eddie out whilst staring at his delectable body. Thankfully, he’d taken pity on him and wrapped a bathrobe around himself. Eddie gestured at the sofa and the two of them sat down, “so, what did you want to talk about?”

Richie swallowed, “um, you gotta drink or something?”

Eddie audibly groaned, jumping to his feet and all but running to the fridge. He returned in record time, shoving a bottle of tonic water into Richie’s arms. The comedian glared at the frankly offensive fucking option.

“What the fuck is this? I meant a real drink.”

“Just fucking drink it, Richie!”

“Fuck you,” he took his time unscrewing the cap, feeling Eddie’s impatient gaze on him. Any minute now, he was going to get a bottle wedged into his eye socket. He took a quick swig, wincing at the foul taste. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Richie. What. Did. You. Want. To. Fucking. Talk. About?”

"Well, I-I wanted to make it special,” he started, staring intently at the tonic water still in his grip. Eddie deserved a candlelit dinner, flowers and fucking romance for what he was about to ask. But Eddie was always surprising him. He reached out and held Richie’s hand, smiling softly.

“Shut up, Rich. Just ask me.”

Richie looked into Eddie’s eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat. Okay, just like he practised with Beverly. Deep breath, Tozier, “um, would you like to- to be my date. To the shitty Netflix thing. Not a big deal. I don’t really give a fuck, they’re making me go.”

Eddie leaned over and kissed his cheek, his hand softly combing through the curls at the back of his neck, “of course I will, Richie. I’m so glad you asked me. I’ve been freaking out a bit, actually.”

“Yeah?” Richie’s entire face was on fire and he could barely breathe but he was smiling, he’d never been happier than he was at this moment. He quickly leaned over and kissed Eddie’s lips before he lost his nerve; it was a sweet, brief touch and he pulled away, blushing, resting his head against Eddie’s forehead, “I love you, Eddie Spaghetti.”

Eddie laughed, “I love you, too, Trashmouth.”

xoxoxoxoxox

EXCLUSIVE: Richie Tozier spotted holding hands and kissing close male friend on the red carpet