#now I’m looking at the category ‘soft angst’ and wondering if I should have let it get this sad

[jerzwriter]

Consequences

Book:                   Open Heart

Pairing:                Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey MacTavish)

Featuring:           Ethan Ramsey, Vivian Carrick, Jordan Carrick, and introducing Eva Mendoza

Rating:                 Teen

Category:            Light Angst

Summary:           Ethan is being a wonderful friend but fails to make a good impression on a new doctor. A displeased Vivian confronts her youngest son.  Casey makes a new friend, and Jordan wants to make amends, but is Tobias ready?

Words:                 3500 (sorry! But there was a lot to cover)

A/N:                     A little drabble that takes place just a week after their wedding.

   @choices-november2022 - Day 15 - Conversations       

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS.

Wedding & Baby Stories Masterlist Tobias & Casey Complete Masterlist My Full Masterlist

This is a follow-up to Best Men and a lead-up to Tobias & Casey’s wedding fic. You can read it as a stand-alone, but knowing the story in Best Men gives it more color.

It was the morning after, and Ethan was concerned about his friends. He invited Casey and Tobias to join him for breakfast in the cafeteria under the guise of discussing wedding items he was working on with Sienna, but he really wanted to see how they were after Tobias’s encounter with Jordan the night before.

Casey seemed fine, but as a diagnostician, he knew overcompensation when he saw it. Tobias was not himself, but Ethan was happy to see their conversation perked him up a little before Tobias was paged and needed to excuse himself.

Casey watched her fiance until he was no longer in the room, letting out a soft sigh once he was gone. Lost in thought, she was startled when Ethan spoke again.

“How is he doing?”

“He’s all right, but not great,” Casey shrugged, “It was… a lot.”

“It was. I’m surprised Jordan still has teeth.”

“Well, that wouldn’t have made anything better. Would it?”

“I guess not. How are you doing?”

“You mean other than being an unscrupulous golddigger tricking poor Tobias into marriage?”

Ethan chuckled ruefully. “Well, that should leave you exhausted in and of itself. But it can’t be fun to know someone spoke of you that way.”

“It’s not, and it hurts because it came from someone who means so much to Tobias. But I keep reminding myself that Jordan doesn’t know me. We’ve met three times, and I know I never did anything deserving of his tirade. That little outburst says much more about him than it does me.”

“That’s a very mature approach.”

“It’s the best I can do. What matters to me is Tobias. This should be a happy time for him, for both of us, and if I let my emotions get the best of me, it will only worsen it.”

“But you’re entitled to your feelings.” 

“I know. I’m just keeping them in check. It sucks that he won’t be at the wedding. With Tobias’s dad gone, he really wanted his mother and brother there.”

“Yes! Vivian. Is she aware yet?”

“Tobias didn’t mention if he told her, and I didn’t want to push.”

“If I had to guess, I’d say he didn’t. After all, we would have had mass casualties in the ER due to the explosion.”

“You make a good point,” Casey laughed. “She won’t be pleased. But on an up note, that’s one less handsome single man at the wedding. Your chances have been upped, Ramsey.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said sarcastically. “That was weighing on my mind!”

“It should be! Since you’re not bringing a guest.”

“I don’t need to bring a guest. I know almost everyone attending; it’s not necessary.”

“Ethan….”

“Casey, don’t play matchmaker. We know it doesn’t work.”

“What? I tried and failed once! If I gave up on everything that quickly, do you think I’d be sitting here at Edenbrook?”

“Mmm, but that was bettering yourself,” he said, beginning to stand, “not meddling in my life. Now, look at the time. What a shame, we have to go to our meeting.”

“Fine, but we’re not done with this conversation, buster.”

“Oh yes,” he assured. “We are.”

~~~~~ 

Across town, Jordan sat in his hotel room, staring at the phone ringing on the dresser. There was no need to look at the name flashing across the screen; he knew who was calling. Dragging his hands down the front of his face with a grimace, he considered letting it go to voicemail. But he knew how tenacious his mother was; there was no avoidance. He put the phone to his ear. 

“I’ve been expecting you.”

“Oh, have you?” Vivian snapped. “That’s good to know because it tells me you haven’t taken leave all your senses, just most of them!”

“Mom, before you start….”

“Oh no, young man. You have forfeited any right to call the shots. And we are not doing this by phone. I’m in your hotel lobby, and I strongly suggest you give me your room number. If not, I will make a scene worthy of a Tony award!”

“Wait.. what hotel are you in? I never told you where I was staying.”

“You know I have my sources. Now, will you give me a room number, or do I have to go and ruin our family's name?”

After a brief pause and a heavy sigh, Jordan mumbled, “604.”

Moments later, Jordan braced himself when he heard the first knock at his door. Vivian barreled in, barely glancing at her youngest son. Still, the second she did was enough for him to see the fury burning in her eyes. He instinctively rubbed his cheek, shocked that he had yet to feel the sting of her hand across his face. Certain it would be forthcoming, he locked the door and turned to face her wrath.

“Ma, I know what….”

“You don’t know a damn thing!” she interrupted. “If what your brother told me is true, then the only thing stopping me from slapping you into next year is if you tell me you suffered a psychotic break. Outside of that, young man, nothing will spare you. So tell me, have you suffered a psychotic break?”

“I haven’t.”

Without a word, Vivian marched across the room, and with a flick of her wrist, a loud slapping noise reverberated off the walls. There it was.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Your brother invites you to his home to share the most important news of his life, and what do you do?”

“Ma, I… know I overreacted….”

“Overreacted? The flinch you just made over that baby slap you got was overreacting. What you did last night was just cruel.”

“Mom… there are things you don’t know….”

“Really,” Vivian scoffed. Sitting in an antique chair, she placed her hands neatly atop her crossed legs. “Then you better clear your calendar because you’re going to tell me all I need to know. Are you going to tell me you have some sort of proof of the allegations you made?”

“No. But….”

“There are no buts!”

“Yes!” He insisted, “there are. I didn’t handle things well, but why are you, Kerry, and everyone so wrapped up in this… has one of you even stopped to consider I could be right?”

“Do you take me for a fool? If Casey were some gold-digging trollop, I would have sensed that a hundred miles away.”

“Would you?” he asked with raised eyes.

“Yes, I would.”

“Mom, do you remember Madison?”

“Who the hell is Madison?”

“The girl I brought to your garden party last spring.”

“Oh, yes. I remember her. Now there was your definition of a gold digger.”

“Well, gee, Mom! It might have been nice if you had told me that!”

“Why? Most of the women you’ve been with have been gold diggers, and you didn’t seem to care since you never had plans of settling down with any of them. But I fail to see how this is relevant to our conversation now.”

“Because,” he said, throwing his hands up in frustration. “I never told anyone because I wanted to be sure, but things became serious between us. I was planning to bring her home for the holidays and tell you then. I was crazy about her, Mom. I was even considering proposing.”

“You, what?”

“Don’t worry. Only one of your eternal bachelor sons is being taken off the market. We’re not together anymore.”

“I have a feeling there is more to this story.”

“There is.” Jordan let out a deep sigh, then sat on the edge of the bed, facing his mother. “Last week, I went to surprise her at work, flowers in hand and everything… I was about to go into her studio when I heard her talking about me with a co-worker. I decided to listen in. Like some idiot, I’m grinning, waiting to hear her gushing over how crazy she is about me…because I was that crazy about her.”

“And?”

“She seemed to be for a moment, then her friend asked if I had a brother, and Madison said he does. Then she said she should hook them up so neither of them would have to work again. I left, hoping it was a joke, giving her the benefit of the doubt. So I started digging and found out she’s been with her ex the entire time we were together. He knew but didn’t care. The plan was to stay with me just long enough that she could make out well in a divorce, then the two of them ride off into the sunset. They even said if we had a kid, it would be a lifelong meal ticket.”

Seeing the pain on her son’s face, she moved to sit next to him on the bed, gently placing a hand on his knee.

“Jordan…”

“It was the first time I ever cared about someone, Ma. And I was taken for a fool. So when Tobias told me he was getting married… it felt so out of the blue. Then he says they're expecting a child, and that’s where my mind went.”

“Son, I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, but I assure you Casey isn’t Madison. She loves Tobias with all her heart, and he loves her back. This baby isn’t a trap; it’s a child conceived in love. One they both want very much.”

“Are you sure of that?”

“I am. I’ve spent ample time with them, and I know they have the real thing.”

“So I just made a giant ass out of myself.”

“Yes, an enormous one. You said some vile things about a lovely woman just weeks away from being my daughter-in-law. A woman who is carrying your brother’s child! She is already family in my eyes, and she would have been in your father's too. You know how important family was to him, and he would not have taken kindly to this.”

“I understand that you like her. I did too. But… wouldn’t you feel more comfortable if… I don’t know… if it were someone like Kerry. Someone that is in the same circles as us. Just to be sure….”

“Stop right there. You seem to forget that when I wed your father, I was not of his class. Are you saying I was beneath him? Exploiting him for his wealth?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, it sure sounds like you were saying that. If someone isn’t fortunate enough to be born into the upper echelon, they’re to be considered suspect? My family and my background are your legacy, too, son, every bit as much as the Carrick name is, and don’t you forget it! I didn’t raise you to be a snob!”

Knowing she was right, Jordan hung his head.  “I know, Ma.”

“Now you need to make amends.  You owe your brother and his future wife an apology.”

“I was pretty awful.  I wouldn’t even take the call if I were in his shoes.”

“And he may not.  But there’s only one way to find out, and that’s to call.  I suggest you do so.”

“I will.  I promise.”

“Good, son,” she said, taking his hand.  “Now, why don’t you tell me all about what happened with Madison.”

~~~~~

Back at Edenbrook, Casey was in the team’s office, eager to wrap up her day in the team’s office, when she heard the voice of someone she needed to speak with outside. Springing to her feet, she rushed to the door as the voice faded down the hall.

“Dr. Mendoza!” She yelled down the hallway. “Dr. Mendoza!”

A statuesque woman with brown hair pinned into a loose bun turned around, smiling broadly when she saw it was Casey.  “Dr. MacTavish, how are you?”

“I’m good,” Casey said, catching her breath as she caught up to her.  “You look relieved.” 

“I am. Let’s just say not all of the doctors at Edenbrook have been as… polite… as you.” 

“Uh, oh. You’ve only been here a week, and people are giving you grief already? You need to give me a list of names so I can reprimand them!” 

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m pretty tough,” she winked. “I can take them on.” 

“Of that, I have no doubt. But I stopped you because Dr. Chong said I should consult with you about that patient we discussed. Her case is still a mystery, but I still think an auto-immune issue is the culprit. Since she’s had infertility issues too….” 

“I finally had a chance to look over her charts, and I agree with you. Most of her infertility testing was done at Brigham, but I think we should start from scratch. I feel like they missed something.” 

“I agree! If you have a few moments, the DT office is empty.  We can go brainstorm, and I’ll even give you coffee from the good coffee machine.” 

“The good machine?” Dr. Mendoza asked. 

“It’s a long story.” 

Twenty minutes later, the two women had a plan of action, and Casey vowed to help her fast friend get quality coffee whenever she needed it.  

“This has to be the best-kept secret in the hospital,” Dr. Mendoza laughed. “I’m honored you let me in on it.” 

“I’ve got a good feeling about you, Dr. Mendoza.” 

“Oh, please. If we’re going to be friends, it’s Eva.” 

“Then Eva it is….” 

“Baby, are you almost ready? I’m going to get the car….” Tobias looked up from his chart, startled to see someone else in the office. “Oh… I’m sorry…” his face fell slightly as he nodded curtly. “Mendoza.” 

“Carrick,” Eva repeated in the same manner. 

“You two have met?” Casey asked. “Wait! He wasn’t one of the doctors giving you trouble. Was he?” 

“At Edenbrook? No. But I’ve had my run-ins with Dr. Carrick in the past.” 

“Really?” 

“What can I say, dear. Eva was one of the few people who wasn’t susceptible to my charms.” 

“Oh, for the love of God,” Casey groaned. “Tell me this isn’t another woman you tried to put the moves on before me.”   

Eva broke into a fit of laughter. “Oh, I wish he had. I would have loved the opportunity to reject him.” 

“Too bad you never got it,” Tobias smirked. 

“OK, are one of you going to tell me how you know each other?” 

“Boston University,” Eva offered. “He taught two of my med school courses, and he didn’t like that I challenged him.” 

“Challenged me? You were an impossible pain-in-the-ass who held the class up needlessly to think of things from a hundred angles when only ten were necessary.” 

“You’re just pissed that sometimes I proved you wrong!” 

“But most of the time, I proved you wrong.  Casey, can you tell her that when….” 

“Oh, no!” Casey laughed. “I am not getting in the middle of an ancient grudge match between this brilliant woman who is my newly minted friend and my beloved fiance.” 

“Fiance?” Eva blurted. “He’s responsible for that massive rock on your finger.” 

“What can I say?” Tobias grinned, “I have impeccable taste.” 

“If you proposed to Casey, then yes. You definitely do,” turning to Casey, she continued, “You, on the other hand….” 

“OK. Let’s be nice to my future husband,” Casey scolded playfully. 

“Sorry,” she said jokingly. “There is no way I’m going to be nice to Carrick.” 

“In that case, I may have to rethink my opinion of you,” Ethan grumbled as he entered the room. 

Eva rolled her eyes, “Oh, you too. This is my lucky day!” 

“OK, he’s definitely of the doctors giving you a hard time?” 

“Bingo!” Eva chimed. 

“Casey,” Ethan complained. “As your best man, I resent that you were so fast to assume it was me.” 

“Ethan, please. I love you, but my initial assessment of you was that you were an asshole.” 

“She’s an excellent judge of character,” Tobias injected as Ethan shot him a dirty look. 

“Did I ask you’re opinion?” 

“Ethan,” Casey said, bringing the attention back to the point. “You need to be nice. Eva will be working with us on Mrs. Sosa’s case, and she’s officially my new friend.” 

“You have enough friends, MacTavish. Must you add more?” 

“You can never have enough friends,” Casey grinned. 

“As much as I hate to break this little party up,” Tobias interrupted, “our shifts ended an hour ago, and we….” “I know,”  Casey agreed.  “We have wedding stuff to do.” 

“Well, if you’re leaving, so am I. I’m not going to be alone with Dr. Grumpy Pants, no matter how good of a coffee machine he has.” 

Ethan looked at Casey with an incredulous look on his face. “You told her about my coffee machine?!” 

“Oh, look at the time, gotta run….” Casey grinned as she and Tobias rushed to the elevator. 

Once alone inside, Casey gave him a quick hug. “What’s going on? We don’t have wedding stuff tonight.” 

“You’re perceptive,” he smiled. “Thanks for getting us out of there. I got a call from Jordan, and he wants to speak.” 

“Oh, so are you going to?" 

“I don’t know.”

“I suppose you should hear what he has to say.” 

“After what he said about you last night? I really don’t give a damn about what he has to say.” 

“I understand that,” she said, taking his hand, “this has to be your choice. But I’ll support you regardless of what you decide.” 

“I appreciate that, but right now, all I want to do is get my pregnant fiance home to rest.” 

“I’m fine, Tobias, I can….” 

“Uh, uh, uh. Do you want me to bring Ethan into this?” 

“Nope. Let me just get home and get off my feet!” 

~~~~~

 Several hours later, Casey was asleep in their bedroom while Tobias worked in his office down the hall.  He played his voice messages on speaker mode as he checked his e-mails. 

“… Hi, it’s Ethan.  I just wanted to let you know Sienna, and I finalized the plans for the joint bachelor/bachelorette party. Call me when you have a chance to discuss….” 

He deleted and listened to the next. 

“… Hey, bro.  It’s me again.  Look, I get that you probably don’t want to talk to me, and I understand why.  But if you could give me just five minutes, I’d like to….” 

He hit delete before hearing the whole message and resumed his work.  Still, he couldn’t stay focused, no matter how hard he tried.  His phone rang again, and Jordan’s picture flashed on the screen.  He muted the ringer, then, warring with himself, he picked up the phone. 

“You have exactly five minutes starting right now,” Tobias scowled. 

“Hey, T. Thanks for answering….” 

“The clock is ticking.” 

“Look, I’d love to see you so we could do this in person….” 

“Not happening.” 

“OK, so I’ll do it here.  I owe you an apology.” 

“You owe me nothing.  You owe my pregnant fiancee, the woman I love more than anything in this world, an apology.” 

“And I’d… I’d be happy to give it to her if….” 

“Well, you’re not.  Not now.  She’s in her first trimester, and it’s my job to make her life as stress-free as possible.  You’re going nowhere near her.” 

“I understand.  But then, can I meet with you? I want to explain….” 

“I don’t want to hear an explanation, Jordan.  It sounds too much like an excuse, and there is no excuse for you disparaging Casey and mocking us for expecting a child together.  There is no excuse for that, and I’m under no obligation to forgive you.” 

“I… I understand, but… can we just talk? There are things you don’t know that….” 

“Not now.  I can’t.  I’m furious, and I’m not ready to make nice.  You’re on my schedule now, and I’ll call you when and if I’m ready to hear what you have to say.” 

“OK, that’s fair.  It’s just that your wedding is just weeks away, and….” 

“Yes, it is.  And this is supposed to be one of the happiest times of our lives, and I’m ensuring it will be by keeping you away.  Am I clear?” 

“Crystal.” 

“Good.  Now don’t call me. The next move is mine.” 

He hung up the phone, then removed his glasses to rub his eyes. Standing up to walk across the moonlit room, a framed photo caught his eye.  A much younger Tobias playing on the beach with his father.  He took the frame in his hand and smiled.  He waited too long to repair the damage with his dad, and he learned the hard way that time waits for no one.  But his dad never insulted the woman he loved.  His dad never mocked the biggest blessing that ever happened to him.  

Tobias put the photo back in its spot and continued to the window.  Staring out into the night sky, he considered began thinking of what his father would want him to do.  But he wasn’t ready.  

“Tobias?” Casey called from down the hall.  He knew the tone in her voice, she was probably having a nightmare, and he rushed to be with her. 

“Coming, baby.” 

He knew what mattered: Casey and their child.  Everything else would have to wait.

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @choices-november2022

[scythe-hagmoved]

Soft angst starters: “ I have to leave you behind. I’m sorry” for any combination of DA2 characters you think would work best for you!

Thank you for the prompt! Let’s go with some Merribela, set at the end of Act 2... 

Hawke is going to live.  

Merrill comes away from the room only after receiving the assurance from Anders. Sparing a sympathetic look for Hawke’s mabari, who is standing guard outside the room, and offering him a short, reassuring scratch behind the ears, she makes her way through the mansion, downstairs, past Varric and Sandal, to the entrance hall where Fenris waits. He’s tense, hands clenched at his sides, gauntlets digging into the bench on which he sits. He’s chosen the one by the doorway – as though he’s not even sure if he should be here at all. She relays the news from Anders and she sees some of the fear go out of him. Not all, but some. Merrill wonders if she should say more but she doesn’t have time. Fenris and Hawke do now, at least. Time to figure out whatever it is that keeps Fenris down here and not upstairs with her.  

She barely tells him good night and Fenris barely notices anyway. Then she steps out into Hightown and the turmoil they’d left behind when they’d fled with Hawke, back to her estate. People still looking for lost family members, while the dead still litter the streets, Qunari and elves and humans alike. And all Merrill can do is just hope she’s not too late. She takes a breath and then runs.  

She leaves Hightown, practically leaping down the many stairs that will take her to the poorer parts of the city, and when she gets to Lowtown, she still doesn’t stop. Even when the sign of the Hanged Man is looming over, she doesn’t pause, just shoves the door open and carries on all the way through, past the patrons, up the stairs at the back to the room that she hopes with everything she has in her will not yet be empty.    

She’s panting when she throws the door open and nearly cries out in relief when the first thing her eyes meet is another pair of startled warm brown ones. Familiar ones. Merrill’s always been left at least a little bit breathless by the sight but in this case it’s sort of hard to tell the difference, what with all the running.  

“Kitten,” Isabela says. “I should have known it was you.” 

The next thing Merrill sees is the bag on the bed, packed and ready to go. Just as she’d known it would be. It doesn’t make it hurt any less though.  

Merrill stands up straight and glares. “Don’t ‘Kitten’ me,” she says, startling herself even as the words come out of her mouth. But she finds she can’t stop. “Were you really just going to leave? Without saying anything?” 

Again?  

She thought Isabela had come back because she’d changed her mind. Because she wanted to make it right. But then, somewhere in the chaos between the keep and getting Hawke back to her estate, she’d disappeared once more.  

“I thought it for the best.” 

Merrill feels a lump in her throat. And, Creators, not now! She doesn’t want to cry, not when she has things she needs to say. “How is it best for you to go when your friends are here?” 

I’m here! she wants to add, but can’t. 

Isabela just looks at her with sadness in those beautiful eyes and it isn’t helping a bit with the not crying thing. Merrill sniffs.  

“How is Hawke?” Isabela asks gently. 

“Alive. And Anders says he’ll keep her that way.” 

She sees the relief Isabela tries to hide and doesn’t understand why it has to be this way.  

“You should come and see her.” 

“Now that is a terrible idea.” 

“It isn’t! Hawke might be angry for a little while, yes. But she won’t want you to leave... I don’t want you to leave.” 

Those rich brown eyes meet hers and this time Isabela doesn’t try to stifle the regret in them. Merrill knows then that everything she’s been wanting to say, without quite being brave enough, must have come through somehow anyway. But it just isn’t enough. Isabela picks up her bag and slings it over one shoulder, then approaches Merrill where she lingers in the doorway, coming close enough that she can smell the spice of her perfume. She leans in and presses her full lips to Merrill’s cheek. For just a minute Merrill feels her warmth before she straightens up.  

“For what it’s worth, I really am sorry, Merrill.” 

She doesn’t quite look Merrill in the eye this time as she says it. But Merrill knows all the same that she doesn’t mean it in regards to Hawke, or what happened in the keep, or any of the rest of this disastrous night. Though Merrill can’t bring herself to doubt that’s also true. Isabela’s words are meant for her. And that’s why it hurts so much more. 

Isabela slips past her, through the door, down the stairs and out into the chaos of the night, and Merrill can still feel the warmth on the cheek that she kissed just a moment ago.  

Then all she feels is the slow trickle of tears that she can’t hold back a second longer. 

(for the soft angst starters. feel free to send another!)

[primofate]

im feeling kinda akward since its my first time requesting,i really really really like your writings and im wondering if you could do some angst for albedo, anything you feel like tbh, but if may i be a little selfish i was thinking on something like he hurt you, so you break up with him or maybe he break up with you and regret later, im in love with the genius and your writings so why not lol, hope you are doing well, xoxoxooxox

Thanks for the request anon. <3 Sorry it took so long, but I’m feeling angst today so here goes. Let me know what you think <3

QUEUED POST

Scenario: Breaking up

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: angst, break ups, regrets, did I say angst?

Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2 (It was getting too long so split it into two parts)

Read: (Part 2) (Part 3 - Final)

Albedo

Alone.

These days you found yourself alone in your shared home. It had been nearly a year since the two of you decided to live together. Maybe that was a bad idea.

You were smitten. He was such an intelligent man, and truth be told you loved how his mind worked. He was silent and mostly kept to himself at first, but with you, there were subtle touches, fleeting kisses. Oh and his eyes, the way his eyes brightened or the way his lips turned up at the sight of you. The way he held you close at nights, up until the morning.

Gone were those days. 

He was hardly home. The intelligent man you had fallen in love with, was also a workaholic. Perhaps you should’ve seen it coming. There were so many signs.

Maybe he changed. Maybe you changed. But the little things weren’t enough anymore. He came home just to sleep and wake up, and he was off again. 

“Bedo, have you got some time off on the weekend? We haven’t been up to Starsnatch Cliff in a while,” you had prodded him a few days ago, wondering if the problem would be solved if you made the first move. 

“Sorry, Y/N, we’re just about to discover more about the properties of electro crystals... It’ll be useful if we want to sustain higher energy concentrations on...” and just like that he had gone off a tangent explaining the whole thing. You smiled a little, it was still endearing how excited he got discussing those things. 

But you couldn’t help but be lonely at how he seemed to love his research more than you. 

‘Maybe I just need to be more proactive. That’s it! I’ll go and visit him at the lab today!’ Surprising him was one of the things that you had always wanted to do. But not a lot of things got past Albedo. He was observant like that. You made a quick run to the bakery, getting him some croissants and welcomed yourself into the Favonius Headquarters. 

You looked up at the sign on his laboratory door. That sign was always there though, Klee had told you about it, and Sucrose had also talked about it once or twice before, telling you that it wouldn’t be a good idea to go in if the sign was up. But when was it ever down? So, you shrugged, and pushed the door open with a wide smile.

“What are you doing here?!” There’s a wild look in Albedo’s eyes the moment you step in. He didn’t appreciate being disturbed. You tilted your head a little at his reaction, you weren’t expecting that.

“Oh, since you’ve been so busy these days I just thought I’d drop by and give you something to--”

“Y/N, did you not see the sign on the door? No disturbances, even from you,”

“I’ll just be quick, I’m just dropping this off,” you lift the paper bag from the bakery and lay it down on the nearest table. Albedo closes his eyes with a sigh. 

“...We’re working on something dangerous right now, I don’t have time to eat. Please take it back,”

Surprisingly, you obey quite quickly, and take the paper bag back into your hands. Annoyance start to pulse in your veins. “Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

Sucrose had been standing there the whole time, and you can see the slight wince on her face at your cold statement... But Albedo had returned it ten fold, snapping an answer back. “Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

You didn’t expect how much it would sting. Your shoulders slump downwards at the realization that this... had gone too far. You couldn’t take it anymore. Sucrose opens her mouth, but doesn’t know what to say looking back and forth between you and Albedo. 

The Kreideprinz had continued with his task as if nothing had happened at all, but he knew what he said. He didn’t want any interferences nor accidents happening in the lab and that was the only thing he cared about at the moment. 

Your foot moves to step back, but your eyes are glued to Albedo. You can only see his back. His hair tied up neatly, the shoulders that you loved to wrap your arms around and his hands that were always gentle. You took a good look, drinking the whole scene in like you hadn’t had a drop of water in days. 

This was the last time you would lay eyes on him and it broke you into so many pieces. You turned away without another word, Sucrose staring at the door, before she decided that she needed to follow you. “I-I’ll be back, Master Albedo,” she rarely ever abandoned an experiment, but she knew that you needed a friend right now. 

Ironic, because it should have been Albedo running after you, but instead the green-haired girl caught up to you just as you reached the fountain in the middle of Mondstadt. “Y/N!” she jogs, and stops when you do as you hear your name.

Tears prickled your cheeks, but they were more of frustration than sadness. You stand there for a moment, drying your tears and turning around towards Sucrose, gaze on the pavement. “Y/N...” Sucrose approaches carefully, hand resting on your shoulder.

“...I don’t know anything other than Albedo, Sucrose,” you start, a curtain of memories flashing through your mind. “...Without him, there isn’t much reason for me to stay in Mondstadt,” Sucrose shakes her head rather hastily. “H-He’s just... a little occupied right now, Y/N, I’m sure he doesn’t mean what he said,” You close your eyes, the scene repeating in your head.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

A hard lump forms on your throat at how hard you try not to sob. How hard you try to keep yourself together and Sucrose sees it from the way your lips tremble. “Sucrose, please watch over him,” and that is also the last that Sucrose sees of you. 

That night, Albedo arrives home exhausted, just as he always does. But now that he was home, he could at least expect a warm meal and a warm hug. A soft smile tugs on his lips at the thought.

When he turned the lights on, he was met with a strange stillness instead. His hand stays on the switch as his eyes scan the living room. It was...quiet. There were no plates on the table, and there were no sounds from the kitchen.

Deep in the pits of his stomach there’s an anxiety that starts bubbling up. He brushes it off, opting instead to check the kitchen. “Y/N?”

Empty. 

His footsteps hasten as he opens the bedroom door, expecting you to be curled up there, asleep. 

Empty.

Albedo takes in a shaky breath. You were probably just out in town, doing some late night shopping. Yeah, that’s it, perhaps you just didn’t have enough ingredients for dinner today and--his eyes land on the bedside table.

The photo frame is gone. The photo of the two of you standing side by side together with comfortable smiles on your faces, his hand on your waist, and the house on the background. 

He throws open the closet doors. Your clothes are gone. Your shoes are gone. Even your scent seemed to have disappeared. The anxiety that was once a small bubble in his stomach had started to claw it’s way out, wrenching his heart in places that he didn’t know could hurt. The tears pooling in his eyes were so foreign that he didn’t even know what was happening until he hears himself gasp back a sob.

You’re gone. 

Suddenly it was so hard to breathe, but he pulls himself up and out the door. There’s no way. Where would you go? Perhaps you were just around Mondstadt, trying to get a breath of fresh air to calm your nerves. He searches everywhere. The church, the tavern, the Good Hunter and even atop the rooftop of the Favonius Headquarters. There was a decent view of the city there, and his eyes roam the streets, just to get a glimpse of you.

“...Please...” There’s another lump in his throat, his eyes dart around looking for any small sign of you. 

“Albedo? Tired?” you ask as he returns home one day. He merely lets out a small “Mm,” and pulls a chair out from the dining table to sit on. You walk into the kitchen to fetch him a cup of tea, and he snatches your hand to press a soft kiss on the back of it. “Thank you, love,” 

“...Please!” his grip on the stone walls of the rooftop tighten. His vision blurs.

“Al! Don’t do that!” you try to swat his hand away from the pot, a short laugh coming off of your lips at how mischievous he could be sometimes, trying to dip his finger into the sauce. He has a grin on his face as he successfully tastes the sauce off his finger, making a sound of approval as he draws you in for a light kiss on your forehead, “It’s good, as always,” 

His legs buckle, and he finds himself on his knees, hands fisted upon the cold stone wall. “At least tell me where you've gone! I can’t--” he doesn’t know when the last time he cried was, but whenever it was, he doesn’t remember it to be this bad. The pain was unlike any injury he had, it grasped so tightly at his heart.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

He furiously shakes his head because he knows that it was his fault. “I didn’t mean it, please give them back,” as if there was someone else who took you away. As if there was a God listening to him right now. 

He realizes that the worst of it was not that you had left, but that you had left no traces of you behind. No photo. Not a piece of clothing. Not a trace of your existence.

Nothing for him to hold on to.

That night, he dragged himself back home. Face flushed and hot from the tears he had shed and the ones he was attempting to hold back.

That night, he painfully got into bed.

Alone.

Taglist:  @larkspyrr @rim0na @sweeti-pie @l3mon-mxshroom @hai-q-haikyuu @tkshoki @kyquu @KimbapSana @fanfictionenthusiast

Crossed out means I couldn’t tag you! Sorry!

Masterlist

https://primofate.tumblr.com/post/653296890583154688/masterlist-for-mobile-version-main-links

Taglist (Want to be notified when something new comes out? Sign up!):

https://forms.gle/VZmJXQssHcv7YzQc6

If you’d like to be extra sweet and donate, here’s my kofi link:

https://ko-fi.com/primofate

[hwangsify]

K.SM. — LOVE AND THUNDER.

pairing. kim seungmin x gn reader

genre. angst, fluff, mutual pining, best friends to lovers, college au

warnings. food, one joke about death, they're both extremely tsundere but also extremely in love

summary. you develop a habit of breaking into seungmin's apartment during thunderstorms under pretense that you miss his company. seungmin sees right through you.

length. oneshot

word count. 5.5k+

taglist. @starlostseungmin @ilynaevis @luvhyun3 @dnadoublefelixx @seung-scrittore @jungwonize @plutominho

i. 

When Seungmin opens the door at 2 in the morning in the middle of a thunderstorm to find you standing right in front of him, clad in a pair of Naruto pajamas, his first reaction is to slam the door in your face. 

After all, it’s been ages since he’s been able to fall asleep so soon, and he was in the middle of an excellent dream when you decided to break into his apartment. It seems, to Seungmin, that you harbor a lifelong obligation to fuck up his sleep schedule as well whenever you can’t fall asleep, because you exist solely on caffeine and sugar and probably would break the World Guinness Record for “most unhealthy lifestyle” if that happened to be a category. He adds this to his growing reasons of why he should have terminated your friendship a long time ago. 

Groaning, he scrubs a weary hand over his face, wondering what he did to deserve such a fate as to have to deal with you at 2 am in the morning. 

You’re still standing by the doorway when he musters up the courage (and tenacity) to open up the door again, glaring at him. He sighs. “What do you want?” 

“You’re not even going to let me in?” you demand. “Even after all these years we’ve been friends? I’m offended, Kim Seungmin.”

You have a habit of calling him by his full name whenever you want something from him, and it affects Seungmin a little more than he’d like to admit. 

Mumbling a string of curses under his breath, Seungmin opens the door a bit wider to let you in. When he had woken up to an incessant knocking at his door, he had been terribly irritated. After all, what kind of psychopath would stop by his apartment at 2 in the fucking morning— in the middle of a thunderstorm too? But now that you’ve made yourself at home in his apartment, tucking yourself comfortably into his couch, he finds that he can’t bring himself to be mad at you. 

He shuts the door carefully behind him and turns to look at you. “Why are you even here?” 

You shrug, grinning, although you don’t meet his eyes. “Maybe I just wanted to enjoy your company.” 

“Cut the bullshit,” he sighs. “It’s 2 in the fucking morning. What could you possibly want from me at this time?”

His answer comes to him shortly afterwards. A loud thunderclap tears through the atmosphere, a deafening roar in Seungmin’s eardrums. 

You let out a soft squeak, hands flying up instinctively over your ears, hunching over to make yourself smaller. 

The realization hits Seungmin a few seconds later. He frowns. “You’re scared of thunder?” 

You look up from your hunched over position to glare at him. “Of course not. What would make you think something like that?” 

Your fingers tremble as you tangle them nervously in your lap, one leg jiggling up and down anxiously. 

“You’re shaking,” Seungmin notes. 

“It’s cold,” you shoot back, wrapping your arms around yourself and shivering just for show. “Maybe install a heating system into your apartment like a normal fucking person? It’s like below freezing in here.” 

But Seungmin has known you for years now, has learned to read you far past whatever exteriors you put up. And right now, it is undeniably evident that you are afraid. Maybe even terrified. 

But it’s not like you’d ever admit that out loud. And Seungmin softens at the sight of your frightened eyes, pupils blown wide from fear. Sighing, he makes his way across the room to grab a few blankets, tossing them on your lap. You frown, glancing up at him. 

“You can crash here for the night if you want,” Seungmin says. And if he didn’t know you so well, he wouldn’t notice the way you visibly brighten, lips tugging up at the corners. His heart flutters at the sight, a warm fondness settling deep within his stomach. 

“Really? I thought you’d kick me out or something.”

“I’m not that big of an asshole,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You can leave tomorrow morning or something, I know you’ve got class.” 

Another thunderclap rumbles in the distance, and you tense, shoulders hunching downwards. Seungmin frowns, leaning down to touch your shoulder. 

“Hey,” he says. “Are you going to be okay?” 

You let out a dismissive laugh, spreading the blankets over your lap. “Yah, Kim Seungmin. Who do you take me for? Of course I’ll be fine.” 

Seungmin shifts awkwardly in front of you, one hand coming up to sheepishly scratch the back of his neck. He knows that you hate being fretted over, hate showing any sign of vulnerability at all, but a small part of him can’t help but worry. 

“You can wake me up if it gets too bad, you know.”

Rolling your eyes, you reach up to shove his shoulder. “I already told you, I’m not scared. Go to sleep, I’ll be fine.” 

So Seungmin trots off to bed, and you make yourself comfortable on his couch. And maybe it’s a bit eccentric to have an impromptu sleepover with your best friend at 2 am, but Seungmin finds that he doesn’t mind it. Not at all. 

He likes you too much to mind. 

ii. 

Seungmin met you like this. 

During his awkward middle school years, he decided to pick up photography as a side pastime. It was more of a spontaneous decision than anything else, but his mother had seemed supportive enough, and he was in a great need of a hobby at the time. 

So one day, on a Monday afternoon, he made his way to the photography club meeting room, a long forgotten art studio located in the left wing of the school. 

Cracking open the door, the first thing he realized was that he had most definitely gotten the address wrong. This realization came from the fact that you were standing directly in the middle of the room, a paint-splattered apron tied haphazardly around your waist, a creaky easel positioned right before you with a canvas stretched over it. You had been beautiful even then, with a smudge of sienna against your cheekbone and a ratty t-shirt tugged over your frame. 

You had looked over the moment Seungmin had cracked open the door, eyebrows raising as he poked his head in. Seungmin’s mouth felt dry and as thick as cotten as he opened his mouth and then closed it again, one hand coming up to awkwardly run a hand through his bangs. 

“This isn’t the photography club,” he managed to croak out. He had been terribly awkward back then, and your boldness had intimidated him.

“No,” you said slowly. “It isn’t.” 

Just as Seungmin decided that he should just leave, you had bounded over the room in a few steps and grabbed his wrist, tugging him into the room. Seungmin didn’t even have the time to ask you what the actual fuck you thought you were doing before you had pushed him down into a chair. 

“But now that you’re here,” you had said brightly. “Why not join the club?” 

Seungmin later found out that you were the founder and sole member of the art club. In a school that primarily focused on STEM subjects, few people were interested in art, although that didn’t deter you from starting a club. In fact, if anything, you seemed to enjoy the solitude, although you also didn’t seem to mind Seungimin’s company. 

This is ridiculous, Seungmin had thought. A bead of sweat gathered at his temple as you stared at him expectantly. 

He gathered up the courage to tell you that this was all a terrible mistake, and that he actually had no intention of joining the art club. But instead, what came out was—

“Okay.” 

To Seungmin’s defense, you had been extremely intimidating in your torn jeans and paint-splattered t-shirt, not to mention impossibly beautiful, and he simply could not find it in him to say no. 

You had beamed then, teeth flashing in the sunlight as you grinned. “Great. Let me go grab an easel from the closet.” 

And the rest was history. So really, meeting you was more of an accident than anything else, although probably one of Seungmin’s better mistakes. He pretty much spent every waking moment in your company after that, and the two of you had later, by some kind of miracle of chance, gotten into the same college as well. 

You were just about the most stubborn person Seungmin had ever met, not to mention extremely intimidating when you wanted to be. You also collected ugly photos of him as a hobby, having established an entire photo album on your phone labeled “blackmail (seungmin ver.) :3” and harbored a strange love for cats. 

(Really, Seungmin just couldn’t understand you. Dogs were clearly superior.) 

But even so, you were still his best friend. And Seungmin wouldn’t have it any other way. 

iii. 

By the time Seungmin rolls out of bed the next morning, the smell of sizzling bacon has already filled the air. 

Seungmin stumbles into the kitchen, stomach rumbling, to see you standing in the kitchen, hovering over a frying pan. 

“Morning,” he rasps, morning voice husky from sleep. You turn around at the sound of his voice. 

“Oh. You’re up.” Like you were expecting Seungmin to die in his sleep or something. 

“Why,” Seungmin grins. “Were you expecting someone else?” 

You glare at him before turning your attention back to the bacon. “I already finished frying the eggs, they’re on the table.”

Seungmin turns to see a plateful of fried eggs sitting in the middle of the coffee table. Despite your many shortcomings, you have proven yourself to be an excellent cook, and Seungmin trusts you enough to eat your food without worrying about getting food poisoning. He’s in the middle of loading his plate with eggs when you set down a platter of bacon next to him, humming tunelessly. 

“Did you sleep well?” Seungmin asks, peering at you. There are dark circles beneath your eyes and Seungmin wouldn’t be surprised if you spent the better part of the night tossing and turning on the couch as the storm raged on outside. 

You shrug. “Well enough.” 

“You know, I never took you to be one to be scared of thu—” 

You cut him off with a sharp hiss, glaring at him. “I told you, I wasn’t scared.” 

Seungmin blinks. 

“It’s okay to be scared sometimes, you know. There’s nothing wrong with having fears.” 

You roll your eyes. “Just drop it, okay? I wasn’t scared.” 

There’s a telltale flush of red against your cheeks though, which Seungmin wisely decides not to mention. Instead, he shrugs. “Fine.” 

Outside, the storm has cleared up nicely. The sky is bright-blue and cloudless, no sign at all of last night’s tempest. 

Checking your watch, you abruptly stand up, brushing off your jeans. Seungmin frowns. “Where are you going?” 

“I’m going to be late for class,” you mutter, quickly grabbing your things and slipping on your shoes. “I have to go.” 

Seungmin swallows down the bitter disappointment that suddenly wells up in his throat. You’ve both been busy recently, and this is the first time you’ve managed to meet up in a while. He sighs and nods. “Be careful, okay?” 

You sigh, glaring at him. “I’ll be fine. Stop fussing.” 

And then you’re out the door and gone and Seungmin finds himself alone in his apartment. Again. 

iv. 

Falling in love with you had been an entirely unintentional affair. 

Unlike most, Seungmin remembers exactly when he fell. It had been on a Saturday morning, when you had insisted on going ice-skating with him and a few others. Seungmin, who had always hated ice-skating, agreed to go just because everyone else was going and he’d feel bored if he stayed all by himself. 

After slipping and sliding all over the ice rink for maybe 15 minutes straight, Seungmin promptly gave up and seated himself on the bleachers, content to watch the rest of the group skate. He remembered watching you and Jisung skating together, Jisung’s legs stuck together anime-style as he tried his best to keep his balance. You had wrapped an arm around his waist when he tripped and fell, tipping your head back in a laugh when Jisung let out a yelp of dismay. 

Seungmin remembers the exact moment. He had taken you in then, cheeks red from the cold of the rink, face frozen in mid-laugh, surrounded in all that ice, and had vaguely registered the fact that you were beautiful. And that he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life by your side. 

It was all downhill from there. All of a sudden, it was difficult to breathe whenever you came within a certain proximity. Maintaining eye contact with you became a terribly strenuous ordeal. Seungmin found himself stealing glances at you whenever you weren’t looking, small glimpses of your side profile or of the stray strand of hair that always fell into your eyes. 

Seungmin would have given anything to have things back to how they were before. Anything to release the tightness that bubbled up in his lungs at the sight of you, to relieve this awkward one-sided tension between the two of you. 

But it is much too late now, he knows. So he will put up with these stolen glances and small moments of tenderness and tell himself that it is enough. That it has to be. 

v. 

The next thunderstorm hits a few weeks later. Seungmin watches from the windowsill as the sky rips apart, lightning tearing through the dark clouds, thunder rumbling in the distance, and wonders if you’ll show up at his doorstep in the middle of the night for the second time. 

He doesn’t allow himself to hope. But he finds himself staying up anyway, arranging two mugs of tea on the coffee table even as he tells himself that this is ridiculous. 

But sure enough, just when he’s about to crawl into bed and give up, he hears a knock by his door. He can barely stifle the smile that threatens to spread across his face as he opens the door to see you shivering on his doormat, eyes wide with fright. 

Wordlessly, he wraps his fingers around your wrist and tugs you inside. You duck your head, almost ashamed, as you allow him to guide you to the couch. 

When you’ve settled yourself into a corner of the couch, legs tucked underneath you, your eyes light upon the two mugs of tea sitting on the coffee table. A slow smile spreads across your face, eyes glinting mischievously as you blink up at Seungmin, saccharine sweet. 

“Were you waiting for me, Seungminnie?” 

“Don’t call me that,” Seungmin snaps, ears reddening. 

You coo, wrapping your fingers around one of the mugs of tea. “How thoughtful of you. It’s green tea too, my favorite.” 

“Only because I accidentally bought two jumbo packs of green teabags at Lotte Mart,” Seungmin retorts. 

You grin, opening your mouth to reply, when a loud thunderclap sounds. Tensing automatically at the sound, tea slops out of the mug and splatters over your lap. Seungmin frowns, taking a step towards you, but you quickly recover, setting the mug down on the table and letting out a shaky laugh. 

You meet his eyes, and although Seungmin is tempted to ask if you’re okay for the millionth time, something in your eyes tells him to allow you to have this, this small moment of obscurity. You’ve never been one to ask for things, too scared of the vulnerability that entails, never been one to depend on others, but Seungmin meets your eyes and realizes that you desperately need this— for him to pretend to see nothing when he has seen everything. 

So instead of asking if you’re okay, he clears his throat. “Do you want to watch a show or something like that?” 

You let out a barely audible sigh of relief, head hanging low in a mixture of shame and gratitude. Seungmin wonders when he learned to read you so well. Maybe it’s just a side effect of being in love with you for five years by now. 

“Yeah,” you say. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

He comes to sit by you on the couch, logging into his Netflix account to click on the first k-drama that comes into view. And when you inch closer to him as the thunder roars overhead, leaning into his shoulder, Seungmin tells himself that this is just a friendly gesture. Platonic enough that it shouldn’t send his heart racing, pulse skipping a beat as your shoulder meets the firm resistance of his own. 

That he shouldn’t get his hopes up when nothing ever existed in the space between the two of you in the first place. 

vi. 

Like this, life falls into a comfortable rhythm. 

Seungmin starts regularly checking on the weather forecast (for research purposes only, he tells himself), grinning to himself whenever a storm prediction comes up on his phone. On the days when this does happen, he will get back home early to prepare two mugs of green tea, sitting by the windowsill to wait until he hears a familiar knock by his door. 

Then he’ll open the door to see you standing on the doormat, arms crossed over your chest expectantly, and feign annoyance, as if his day isn’t made infinitely better whenever you decide to stop by to hide from all the thunder. You’ll leave the next morning, so Seungmin learns to make the most of the time you spend together. 

It’s weird, but it almost feels like the two of you are running on borrowed time. There is a terrible sense of fugitivity that fills his chest whenever the two of you meet, and he can’t help but feel afraid for what the future might bring. 

“Yah, Kim Seungmin,” you say one day, when the thunder is especially terrible and you can’t seem to keep yourself from trembling. “Sing something for me.” 

Seungmin feels his cheeks flush, heart skipping a beat. You are the first one to ever ask him to sing; the feeling that fills the cavity of his chest at your words is entirely new to him.

“Are you sure?” 

You snort. “Why, are you that terrible? I want to hear you sing.” 

So Seungmin brings out his guitar from its case and sings some love song he learned a few months ago. It’s cheesy more than anything else, and Seungmin stumbles over some of the words when a sudden sensation of embarrassment washes over him, but he catches sight of your contented eyes in the middle of the song, the way your hands have unfurled from tense fists, and knows that this was a decision that was very much worth it. 

 He would never say it out loud, he knows, but he would give the world to see you happy, even if it means embarrassing himself to the core. 

A long silence settles into the room when he finishes strumming the last chord, before you clear your throat. “So you’re not too bad after all.” 

“You can just say that you’re impressed,” Seungmin grins. “You don’t have to act all aloof about it.” 

You wrap your hands around your mug of tea to sip at it impassively, glaring at him over the rim of the cup. “Don’t get too puffed up about it. Since when did you develop such a massive ego?” 

Seungmin shrugs. He’s used to your insults by now, the hard exteriors you put up. He likes you too much to let them get to him. The nights you have spent together have done nothing but prove to him that he is undeniably in love with you, and he doesn’t know how to feel about it all. 

He finds himself missing you during the hours of the day that you’re not around, his mind unconsciously flitting to you during college lectures until the professor reprimands him in class, telling him to focus and to stop daydreaming. 

He even drives you to McDonalds one night, when the shivering and shaking gets especially bad. The two of you share a packet of fries in the rain, thunder roaring overhead, fingers greasy from the fries, shoulders overlapping as you bend over the table, and Seungmin wonders how life could be so perfect in its fragments. 

Seungmin tells you of college and how Minho accidentally dropped a dead frog on his lap while attempting to dissect it and the new songs he’s been learning on the guitar, and you listen, really listen, laughing at all the right places and interjecting whenever you think necessary with dry comments that never fail to make Seungmin grin. 

Seungmin especially remembers one night, when neither of you could fall asleep and the thunder was especially loud, when you tiptoed into his room to sit next to him on the bed. 

“Can’t sleep?” Seungmin had mumbled, turning to glance at you. You nod wordlessly, fingers playing with the hem of his blanket. 

Then Seungmin had made some half-assed joke that wasn’t particularly funny but you had burst out laughing, maybe sheerly from the sleep-deprivation, and Seungmin had echoed your laughter a few seconds later. 

Seungmin will keep this memory of laughter and thunder for years to come, he knows. 

vii. 

It’s almost a year later when he gets the news. 

Seungmin knows he should be happy when he gets accepted into the hospital internship, he really does. After so many years of pre-med, it’s like a dream come true. But all he can do is stare at the hospital address in disbelief and shock. 

Ulsan University Hospital, the address reads. A good 300 kilometers away from Seoul, away from you. And Seungmin knows that he should be grateful, because there are thousands of students who would have given their blood for a chance at this internship, but all he can think about is how you’ll be left all alone here in Seoul, without Seungmin to let you into his apartment at 2 am whenever there’s a thunderstorm. 

Seungmin doesn’t know what to say when he meets with you a few hours later at a café. Instead, he stirs distractedly at his iced latte, purposely avoiding your gaze. 

He’s about to put in his 5th packet of sweetener when you reach out a hand to stop him, glaring. “Are you trying to get diabetes?”

Seungmin sighs, and your gaze softens. Clearing your throat, you lean forward to peer at him. “So. What did you bring me here to talk about?” 

A long silence. Finally, when Seungmin cannot bear the tension anymore—

“I got accepted as an intern at Ulsan University Hospital,” he blurts out, the words coming out of his mouth in a slippery string. 

For a moment, you are so shocked that you can hardly even bother hiding the flurry of emotions within your eyes. Seungmin watches as the shock dissolves into regret and then a feigned happiness. You smile, although it looks slightly strained. “Congratulations, Seungmin. You’ve always wanted to get into an internship.” 

Seungmin winces at the forced lightheartedness of your tone, opening his mouth to speak. But you push on insistently. 

“I know you’ve worked really hard for this,” you say loudly, refusing to meet his eyes, to see the pity welling up within his irises. “So I’m glad all the hard work paid off. You always were a hard worker.”

“I—” 

“I guess the nights of studying all paid off, didn’t they?” You’re just saying whatever comes to mind at this point, anything to keep Seungmin from talking. “I’m sure Ulsan will treat you well. I heard the street food there is to die for. And—” 

“I’m thinking of not going,” Seungmin cuts in hastily, before you can bother saying anything else. 

You go silent. Seungmin sighs, massaging at his temples. 

“Why?” you demand. “Why do this? You’ve been wanting to get accepted into an internship for years now.” 

“Because I don’t want to leave you here,” Seungmin says. “Because Ulsan is hours away and you know, it’d be really terrible if you were all alone during a thunderstorm. And because I like you a lot, okay? I don’t want you to be left alone without anyone to watch out for you in Seoul while I’m all the way in Ulsan.” 

For a moment, you are dead silent. Finally, when you speak up, your voice is stretched thin. 

“Let me get this straight, Kim Seungmin,” you say. “You would rather give up what you’ve been working your whole fucking life for just because you don’t want to leave me here in Seoul? Because what, you think I need someone to take care of me? You think I can’t take care of myself well enough— that I need some fucking babysitter to keep an eye on me at all times?” 

“I never said that,” Seungmin says, voice hard. 

“Sure, you didn’t say so,” you scoff. “But you don’t have to say it out loud for me to understand. What do I need to do for you to understand, Kim Seungmin? I’m not made of glass. I don’t need someone to follow me around just so that I don’t fall apart. I’m fine. I’ve always been fine.” 

Seungmin feels the anger bubbling within him, seething and simmering deep within his stomach until it surges out of his throat. 

“God, why can’t you just admit that you’re scared?” he snaps. “Is it that fucking hard to just say that you need help sometimes, that you don’t need to do everything by yourself?” 

He watches as you balk, hurt clouding your eyes. He should stop, he knows. But now that he’s said it, he can’t seem to stop. 

“You act like you’re so independent, like you don’t ever need anyone else. But you know what? I think you actually do need others. I think that you always have, but are too scared to say it. So instead, you push them away and pretend that you don’t need help. Because that’s how you’ve always been, haven’t you? Scared. But too afraid to admit it.” 

“Shut up,” you say quietly. “Shut up.” 

But Seungmin doesn’t. 

“Why can’t you just let me do it for you sometimes?” he demands. “Is it so hard to admit that you’re scared? That you need help sometimes? Instead, you put on these petty fucking airs and push me away for the sake of your pride, as if I haven’t seen everything already. As if I wasn’t there all the times you fell apart and pieced yourself back together again.” 

You are silent, your eyes dark pools of liquid as you gaze at him unflinchingly. Your shoulders are shaking, but besides that, everything within you is still. 

Seungmin lets out a long exhale, eyes weary as he takes you in. 

“Why can’t you just let me love you?” 

The words are impossibly soft as they slip out of his lips. For a moment, you freeze, completely silent. There is a long pause where the two of you stare at each other from across the café table, until you abruptly stand up and grab your things, hurriedly rushing out of the café. Seungmin calls your name once, half-heartedly, but you don’t turn around. 

He watches as you run out into the rain, water gathering in beads on your skin as rain drizzles overhead. Seungmin watches as you turn back to look at him once more, eyes unreadable in the slough of the rain, before you turn away from him. 

The dividing of two stars, Seungmin thinks. Two constellations who met by mistake, and fragmented with a single whisper of a question. 

viii. 

When the next thunderstorm comes, you don’t show up by his door. 

Seungmin tells himself that this is what to be expected. You hadn’t contacted him since the day at the café, and Seungmin is too afraid of what you’ll say if he bothers contacting you himself. 

He mills about in his apartment as the thunderclaps sound outside, trying his best to divert his mind from you. He even goes as far as to put his headphones in, turning up his Spotify playlist so loud that he can hardly even hear the thunder anymore. 

It’s no use. 

Eventually, when he can’t bear it any longer, he hastily slips on his sneakers and rushes out of his apartment, hurrying towards your apartment. It’s only a few blocks away, but Seungmin is completely soaked to the bone by the time he steps into the apartment block. Shivering, he runs a hand through his slick hair and hurries up the stairs to your apartment. 

When he gets there, your apartment door is opened ajar. This is the first red flag. You might be a terribly impulsive and stubborn person, but you always have been cautious about your safety. Hesitantly, Seungmin pushes the door aside and steps in, calling out your name. 

You’re curled up in a ball on the couch, arms wrapped protectively around your torso. Whatever lingering anger within Seungmin’s chest melts at the sight of you as he quickly kicks off his shoes to come to stand before your shaking frame. 

Your name tumbles out of his lips in a choked murmur. 

At the sound of your name, you look up, a mixture of relief and anger flooding into your eyes at the sight of Seungmin. Your cheeks are wet from tears, and Seungmin wonders why it took him so long to finally work up the guts to come. 

“Seungmin,” you whisper, voice impossibly small. And then you’re lunging forward to wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your face into his chest, and all Seungmin can do is hold you close, stroking the spine of your back with his fingertips. 

“Sorry it took me so long,” he whispers into your hair. You sigh, still trembling, and Seungmin takes it as a gesture that he is forgiven. 

“Sorry about all the things I said,” you say into his chest. “It wasn’t wrong of you to worry about me.” 

Seungmin says nothing, wrapping his arms tighter around your frame. When the shaking finally stops, Seungmin pulls back to look at you. 

“I meant what I said that day, you know,” he says, almost urgently, as if pleading for you to understand. “I know we just made up and shit but I can’t just let things go on like this.”

You are quiet, eyes searching his own as you tip your head forward— a silent gesture for him to continue. 

Seungmin runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “Because you always put up all these walls, you know? And I know you’re terrified of feeling vulnerable; I know you hate asking things of me because you’d rather do it by yourself.”

A heavy silence fills the room. Seungmin lets out a long exhale of a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. 

“But fuck, it’s so hard sometimes, because all I want to do is be there for you.” 

The moment the words leave Seungmin’s lips, it strikes him with how true they are. Something within your eyes gives in and collapses, and when you turn to look at him, eyes shining, Seungmin sees you, really sees you, for the first time in forever. 

And then you’re tugging him down next to you on the couch, lips finding his own, pupils blown-wide as you pull him flush against yourself. And it’s all Seungmin can do to keep from grinning right into the kiss, because he’s imagined this scene for years now, imagined how perfect you would feel against him, imagined the flush of your cheeks and the softness of your lips, and yet nothing could have ever prepared him for the real thing. 

You pull back after a few minutes, breathless, reaching out a hand to cup Seungmin’s cheek, headbutting into his cheekbone in an almost catlike gesture. “You should have told me earlier,” you breathe, touching your lips to his jaw. 

“Or maybe you should have just made the first move,” he retorts. 

You laugh, hugging him closer, and Seungmin laughs too, at the sheer absurdity of the situation, at the fact that he finally kissed you after fantasizing about it for years by now. 

“You really should take the internship, you know,” you say after a while. Seungmin sighs, and you laugh. “I’ll be okay, promise. Besides, I’ll call you all the time whenever I need you. And you can come and visit on the weekends.” 

Leaning forward, you press a kiss to the corner of his lips. Seungmin thinks about the nights you have spent together, the mistakes both of you have made on the way, the way the constellations fragmented and came together again just for this moment to happen, and holds you closer. 

“We’ll figure something out,” he says out loud. 

And he finds that he believes it— desperately, fiercely. 

[deadravenclaw]

There's no shame in crying

Summary: Reader has never shared a room with Emily during cases. When they're finally forced to share one during a case, they find out why. Pairing: Emily Prentiss x reader Word Count: 698 Category: Hurt/comfort, very slight angst Warning: n/a A/N: I wanna start writing more regularly so I guess I'm going to try to write more blurbs till I get the hang of writing again

Read on AO3

You shoot up from your bed when you hear the blood curdling scream. Whipping your head around, you hold up your hands in front of you as you try locating the source of the sound. For a moment you relax slightly when you realised it was just Emily. The brunette in question was sitting on her bed, breathing heavily.

Getting out of the warmth of your own covers, you quickly make it to the other bed, where you sit on the edge of Emily’s bed. Placing a hand on the brunette’s knee, you wince and move back slightly when she jumps violently, her head whipping towards you.

“Oh god,” muttered Emily. “Did I wake you up? I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear.”

The last part had you frowning. You hadn’t known Emily for that long. The brunette had only been on the team for a little over two months and this was the first time the both of you had to share a room, JJ or Tara being the ones who would room with her. You had noticed the way Emily’s body seemed to tense when JJ said she was rooming with Tara, leaving you to room with her.

At first, you assumed that Emily was just nervous about having to share a room. Now, as they both sat facing each other, you wonder if this was the reason. You shake your head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” You say. Hesitating for a moment, you ask, “how long have you been having these nightmares?”

Emily squirmed in her bed. “I don’t know. I’ve stopped counting,” she mumbled. You move forward, your legs crossed and knees brushing Emily’s.

“Are they always this bad?” you ask softly. Emily shrugs, turning to stare at the wall behind you.

“Sometimes.”

You both sit silently opposite each other for a few moments, unsure of what to say. A while more passed before you find yourself placing a hand on Emily’s wrist. You feel Emily move her hand and slowly your fingers curl around Emily’s. The grip on your hand is loose, and you tighten it, secretly happy when Emily returns it. Her hand fits perfectly in yours, the coldness of her palm a stark contrast to the warmth of your own.

You listen as Emily's breathing slowly evens out, her posture slowly becoming more relaxed. However, you could still see the tension in Emily's eyes, and in the way her eyes were still occasionally searching the room. Your mind drifts back to Emily's vague mentions of past cases. How she would tense up similarly when certain names or locations were mentioned.

You wonder if those cases had something to do with the agent's current state.

Eventually, Emily let out a loud yawn. It was then that you remember how late it was.

“Come on, we should probably go to bed.”

You didn’t miss how Emily’s shoulders seem to tense. How her relaxed posture seemed to disappear in an instant. Hesitating for a moment, you nudge her slightly, making yourself more comfortable on her bed.

She moves instinctively, giving you a curious look. You shrug.

“Having someone beside me always helped me sleep better.”

Emily tensed for a moment, and you worry that you’ve crossed a line. But Emily soon relaxed and she nodded gratefully, muttering a soft ‘thank you’.

“That’s what friends are for.”

For the next few minutes, you both lay in silence as you try to get more comfortable in the small bed. Then, you hear a soft sniffle beside you.

“Emily?”

“I’m sorry,” Emily mumbles, and you don’t need to be looking at her to know she was crying. “You didn’t need to do this.”

You can hear the embarrassment in Emily’s voice and you turn around to wrap your arms around her. “There’s no shame in crying, Emily. It's a normal human reaction. Shows us that we’re human.”

Emily nodded against your chest, and you can feel the dampness on your shirt. You hold her against you, gently rubbing soothing circles along the nape of her neck. Soon, the sniffles stop and you hear her yawn.

“Sleep, Em.”

You didn’t need to tell her twice.

[mercy-burning]

To Be Near

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: It’s Spencer and Reader’s first night together since he got out of prison.

Category: FLUFF/SMUT (18+), and a ‘lil bit of angst in there too (it’s mostly just kinda sad tbh)

Warnings: Mild language, Smut (oral sex- female receiving, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk)

Word Count: 4.9k

Full Requests:

+ “...ahhh okay what about like a fluff&smut about seeing spencer after he got out of prison? like he’s all soft and “i wanna make love to you” ???” — @shatteredlovesick 

+ “...First, congratulations on 1k! absolutely loved you “I’ve Got You” fic and was wondering if you could make something similar that has fluffy smut.” — @onesstop 

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

***

Usually you loved the cold. Feeling the cool breeze on your face and cuddling up with blankets and cardigans and sweaters was just about the most comforting feeling in the world.

But no amount of blankets and cardigans and sweaters could have shaken the devastating chill that settled in your bones when Spencer was gone. And wearing his clothes only strengthened the loneliness that plagued you. It was a blaring reminder that he was spending his days actually behind bars and not with you, cuddled on the couch like you'd done a million times over. Like he should have been.

Sure enough, about a week went by and you barely saw him. The first time you'd seen him since he was released from prison was brief, right before he had to go back to work to get his mom back and safe to him. You held him close, breathing in as much of him as you could before he would be ripped away from you again, making sure he knew just how much you loved him and cared for him.

And what added salt to injury was the fact that even after he was released, he was incredibly busy. It seemed like bad thing after bad thing just kept happening, like a domino effect of evil that left you feeling colder. Because now you were plain scared. And alone.

Penelope was kind enough to text you with updates, and even though Spencer might have been physically okay, you knew that all of this stress and constant danger was probably eating away at him from the inside.

Eventually he'd called to let you know that everything was okay again, he and his mom on their way to a motel to recuperate in for a little while. Hearing his weary voice, broken and completely drenched in exhaustion was the only thing that kept you from begging him to come home to you— As much as you desperately needed him, wanted to comfort him, you knew that he needed time alone with his mom. So yet again, you'd told him how much you loved him and held on to the way he said it back, his soft voice humming low in your heart long after he hung up.

He texted you occasionally, little updates to let you know he was okay. And he rarely ever texted at all. Whenever he did it made your heart sing, seeing his naively adorable attempts at using emoticons coupled together with declarations of love or sometimes even stupid little jokes designed to put a smile on your face. You liked to imagine he sent them so he could picture your laugh in his mind, ringing out softly and sweetly as he read back your usual Lol, I love you, silly goose, or something along those lines.

When you finally did see him face-to-face again, it was days later. He briefly mentioned over text that his team was in trouble, but that it would be taken care of and that his mom was safe somewhere. Again your stomach twisted with nerves, hoping and praying that he would come back to you safely. It was always a possibility with his job that something bad would happen, as you've unfortunately witnessed a few times over, but the so-called comfort in knowing that truth didn't help ease your anxieties at all. Maybe they had once upon a time, but after the last few months, and even the last few days, you weren't sure you'd ever know true comfort until Spencer was safely in your arms for eternity.

He'd texted to say he was on his way over in the early morning, and your heart skipped several beats. And in attempt to make yourself look less disheveled and sleep-deprived, you put on a clean pair of clothes—sweats and a tank top with one of Spencer's cardigans—and brushed your hair. To make it all feel a little more real, you splashed cool water on your face and rubbed at your eyes to wake yourself up a bit.

You were patiently sitting on the couch, two warm cups of tea laid out in front of you on the low table when there was a knock on your door, followed by a soft, "It's me," ad you were to the door in an instant.

As always, the sight of him drove you half wild. He looked exhausted, his hair particularly messy and his clothing hung loosely around him. His eyes softened when he saw you, like he was finally in the one place he truly wanted to be, like he was home, and the sight of his bottom lip wobbling every so slightly was enough to have you pull him inside by the shirt and into your arms.

The bag slung over his shoulder dropped with a heavy thud to the ground, and both of his arms snuck to the back of your waist as you leaned up on your tip-toes and squeezed yourself into his body. Your arms clung to his neck, and the big sigh of relief that you felt leave his body utterly wrecked you.

The door to your apartment remained wide open as you stood there in the doorway and hugged each other, silently reuniting in a way that conveyed exhaustion and relief and comfort. There was a tinge of sadness there, too, and you knew it most likely stemmed from the self-deprecation you'd come to know Spencer was prone to. After all he'd been through in the past few months, you knew in your gut that feeling would most likely be very strong in his heart.

So you did your best to quell it, shoving your face further into his neck and running your hands through his hair as he squeezed you tight. Your heart pulled apart at the seams at the way he shook against you, low, shaky breaths that you knew to be cries expelling from his system at last. Deep down it was obvious that he hadn't taken the time to let it all out... Now that he was there with you, safe and out of harm's way, he had the freedom to let go in any way he chose, any way that would be easiest without any judgement or shame.

With you, Spencer was well and truly safe.

"I've got you," you breathed into his neck, your fingers gently massaging the back of his head. "I love you.

He tried to say it back, but when his throat willed to finally make a sound, all that came out was a choked sob.

You held him tighter and let him cry against you, his body going half-limp in your arms.

***

By the time Spencer had finished crying enough for you to move inside, drink your tea in silence, take a well-needed and soothing shower together, and get into bed, it was only noon. He was snuggled into your side, his head resting on your chest as you combed through his damp curls with your fingers. His own fingers drew mindless patterns over the expanse of your stomach, his whole hand shoved up under your shirt and basking in the warmth you provided.

"I don't know about you, but I'm getting kinda hungry," you mumbled loud enough for him to hear. You'd been in silence for so long now, it almost felt too loud, even though you barely used your voice at all.

"I'd ask you to make your mac and cheese, but I don't want to leave the bed... I don't want to leave you."

You laughed a little, his head slightly bobbing at the motion. "I can order some Thai if you want. It won't be here for another half hour maybe, and we can stay in bed a little while longer."

"Okay."

You reached over to your bedside table, grabbing your phone and placing an order for delivery from your favorite Thai place. Just the thought of the food, saying the words out loud and feeling Spencer mutter soft Mmms into your skin at the thought of food made your stomach growl. You honestly weren't sure how long it'd been since you ate anything substantial, and Spencer was probably in the same boat.

Just as you promised, the both of you laid in bed for around thirty-five minutes before the food got there. He grumbled as you got up to answer the door, but you promised him you wouldn't be long and that after eating, you could stay in bed as long as you wanted to.

And that's what you did. You tried your hardest not to scarf everything down, not truly realizing just how hungry you were until the food was right in front of you, smelling as delicious as ever and ready to be consumed.

Spencer sat across from you at the table, though it was obvious in the way he kept looking up at you that all he wanted was to be touching you, to be enveloped in your warmth again. Your heart ached for him as you set your fork down and scooped more of the food onto it. Hoping to somewhat satiate his need to be near you, you reached your leg out under the table, dragging your bare foot over his calf. He smiled softly at you, his entire body seeming to relax again at your touch.

For the next ten minutes you ate in comfortable silence, your foot gently sliding up ad down his lower leg.

And when you were both finally done, he clung to you as you navigated the kitchen, throwing out garbage, putting dishes in the sink, and boxing up leftovers. His arms wrapped around your stomach as he stood behind you, his head resting on your shoulder and his hair tickling your cheek.

At one point you brought one of your hands up to brush his cheek, and your head careened to the side to give him a small kiss on the corner of the mouth. His hands slipped under your shirt then, fingers spreading and engulfing the surface area of your lower stomach. Their gentleness and warmth made you sigh as you slumped back against him, using your hand to cup his cheek as best as you could.

"I missed you so much, baby," you whispered, your thumb lightly stroking his bottom lip. Your wrist was cramping a little from the angle, but you didn't care.

Spencer leaned into your palm and kissed it gently, mumbling, "I missed you, too, sweetheart."

The relief and comfort that seeped out of his words made your heart swell, so much so that you couldn't stand it any longer. You turned around and hugged him again, your arms wrapping around his neck as his pressed firmly to your lower back. You squeezed him tight, peppering tiny kisses along his neck and shoulder blade. Eventually your kisses shifted along his jaw, then his cheek, and then you pressed the gentlest of kisses to his lips before moving to the other side and continuing your adventure along the other side of his neck.

He always loved when you kissed him like that, softly praising every inch of his skin through gentle lips and whispered I love yous in between.

You pulled back for a moment, smiling softly at him as your fingers interlocked behind his head, just at the nape of his neck.

"I... I don't know what I did to deserve you," he said with a slight crack in his voice. "I constantly put you through danger and worry, a—and somehow you still... still manage to make me feel like I deserve your love."

Your throat tightened, threatening to spill choked sobs. But you swallowed and pushed through, one of your hands sliding down over his neck and up to his cheek again. "Spencer, ever since I met you, all you've done is shower me with unconditional love and understanding. You... You teach me new things and you have this natural habit of making me feel like the only woman in the world. Every day, you show me how much you care about other people, and at the end of the day, that's all that matters. It's... The bad days are hard, sure, but when I see your face for the first time in days, sometimes weeks? God... Spencer, there's nothing that compares to that feeling."

You were teary-eyed now, and Spencer was full-on silently crying, tears streaming down his cheeks, and you wiped them all away as you spoke to him.

"So yes, of course you deserve my love... You deserve every ounce of love the world has to offer."

You leaned up and kissed him then, tasting the faint saltiness of tears combined with the food you'd just eaten. If it meant seeing him smile, making him feel comfort and love, you would have kissed away all his tears.

And you were going to, moving to pepper more kisses along his cheeks where the water had fallen, but he brought his hands to your face and kissed you deeper, his body sinking into yours and daring you to never leave him.

You wouldn't, as long as you lived.

You stood higher on your tip-toes and clung to his neck as he kissed you, lips sliding over yours perfectly. And though everything about the way he kissed you was a declaration of love and gratitude for your affections and undying support, you'd have be lying if you said your belly didn't pool with a low-burning heat, reminiscent of a pot of boiling water. His hands on your face, the way his thumbs brushed over your cheek and his tongue barely probed your lips open, all of it was more than enough to make you dizzy.

Eventually he moved to kiss your jaw, goosebumps forming over your skin as he whispered against you. "I love you so much, Y/N..." His lips pressed to your neck. "So..." Your jawline. "...damn..." Under your ear. "...much..."

You couldn't help the choked whimper that fell from your lips as he gently nibbled on your earlobe, right before he spoke again. His hands slid down over your arms and interlocked themselves with yours, his breath hot next to your ear. "Let me show you... Please..." He started kissing your neck again, just as one of his hands migrated to the hem of your shirt, slipping under the fabric and tracing featherlight lines into your side. You whined again as he mumbled against your neck.

"Let me make love to you..."

Those six simple words were more than enough to push you off the edge, unable to take any more of this low-boiling heat in your stomach. You hummed low in your throat as your hands grabbed his wrists and placed them at your hips, daring them to firmly grip you— And they did. Spencer's lips dragged up your neck before finding your lips once more, and the whine that escaped you was nothing if not desperate.

He continued kissing you all the way back to your bedroom. Once your legs it the end of the bed, you buckled and sat down, too weak in the knees to stay upright any longer. He wasn't rough with you in the slightest, his lips still passionate but oh so slow and intoxicating, like sweet, thick honey. That alone made your limbs weak and your heartbeat as quick and loud as a drum roll. His hands roamed carefully over your body, up and under your shirt, over your arms, every so lightly between your thighs as he slipped between them to lay you down.

And once you were leaned all the way back, he brought his hands to your face, caressing your cheek the same way you'd caressed his.

He pulled back, looking into your eyes with his, their golden color almost completely swallowed by his pupils. His breath fanned gently over your mouth, and you smiled, resting one of your hands atop his on your cheek. You leaned into his touch and wrapped your legs around his waist, drawing him near and hoping you could stay with him forever.

"I love you," you whispered.

He leaned down and kissed you again, mumbling, "I love you," into your mouth as he did so. His lips migrated down your skin again, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses all over. "I missed you... Missed your warmth..."

He shifted down your body then, his kisses starting up again at your stomach where your shirt had ridden up. When his tongue licked a thin stripe across your lower stomach, you whimpered and trembled underneath him, feeling wetness already dampening your panties. He laughed against your skin, pressing another kiss to your stomach. "Missed all your little whimpers..." He slid downwards, trailing his fingers along the waistband of your pants before slowly tugging them down, his lips following the trail through each new centimeter of exposed skin. "...and how squirmy you get when I touch you like this..."

Your pants were off quicker than you thought, but he left your underwear on as he kissed up your legs, starting at your ankle and slowly making his way up to your thighs. Your hands fisted the sheets when his breath blew out over the crease of your thigh, eliciting another desperate whine from your throat. And though it was hard to hear over the blood rushing in your ears, thrumming nearly as loudly as your heart, you were still able to hear Spencer's low laugh at your reaction, a sound that made you even wetter.

"I missed teasing you like this," he continued, running his middle finger over your opening through the thin panties you had on. You squirmed again, hips jolting at his touch— a touch you hadn't felt in months. You were utterly wrecked, and he barely even did anything to you, a fact he picked up on pretty quickly.

"You missed it, too, haven't you, sweetheart? Hmm?" His finger pressed harder into you, no doubt feeling how wet, how warm and ready for him you were. "My poor, pretty girl, haven't been touched in months. It must have been so lonely..." Though his words were teasing, a means to get you hot and bothered, there was also an underlying tone of truth to them— of this aching pity and sadness and regret... His words were apologetic as much as they were teasing, and everything all at once was making you ache for him more.

"Y—Yes, baby," you choked out as best as you could, opening your eyes to see how thoroughly wrecked he was. "Fuck, I missed you so much... No... No one touches me li—ike you do."

"I'm so sorry for leaving you all alone, baby," he whispers, kissing your thighs once more before moving to where you were already craving his full attention. "Let me make it up to you..."

He replaced his finger with his tongue, warm and wet as it firmly pressed over your clothed cunt. A loud sigh escaped you as he kept it pressed there, ever so slightly curling the tip of it to reach further inside you. He pulled back after a few moments, pressing kiss after kiss all around the seams of your underwear until he reached your center again. He tugged the fabric down until it was off, kissing up your leg again.

"I can't wait to get reacquainted..." His lips moved softly against the skin on your inner thighs, moving closer to where you ached for him with every passing second. And then his face was right there, millimeters away from it when he spoke, his lips ever so lightly dancing over the slick flesh. "...with this pretty little pussy."

When his tongue darted out, you shattered beneath him immediately. It was only the tiniest of touches, the very tip of his tongue coming in contact just below your clit, and still it was enough to ruin you. Among the many lonely nights you'd had over the course of the last few months, you were met with dreams of this exact moment, Spencer's head between your legs as he unraveled you, and it always left you feeling even more lonely when you woke up.

But this was no dream. He was really there, in front of you, making up for lost time. And that's what made you lose control.

He kitten-licked your clit through your first orgasm of the night, and as you came down, you couldn't help but feel embarrassed at how quickly it took for you to fall apart.

"Oh, sweetheart... That was so damn beautiful." He brought his tongue out to lick through your folds again, humming lowly in he back of his throat. You watched him intently, trying not to shake, and noticed his eyes roll into the back of his head with a flutter as he delved further into you. The sight, accompanied by his tongue now plunging itself into you, made you cry out, your head hitting the bed and your hands clenching the sheets even harder.

He reacquainted himself with your pussy just fine, spending almost an hour alone exploring every way to make you come as if he'd never done it before. Each time you came down, he'd pull away and start off slow again, gently probing his fingers inside of you while his tongue massaged your clit every which way. It was like pure velvet, each stroke of his tongue and each curl of his fingers inside of you causing you to crash and burn over and over again. In between your high-pitched moans and cries, Spencer would occasionally mumble words of praise against your skin, a particular favorite of yours being the, "Perfect fucking cunt, princess..." right before gently sucking at your clit.

By the time he was finished, your three slow-building orgasms and the one quick one under his belt, his hair was absolutely wild as he looked up at you. He moved up your body, the wetness on his face glistening in the sunlight that poured through the bedroom window, and the hungry look in his eyes dissolved into absolute adoration and wonder as he took in your appearance.

Your mouth was partway open, your middle finger tucked between your teeth as you recovered from your highs. Sweat glittered over your brow and your chest heaved deeply, a smile forming on your lips when he bit his bottom lip and studied you.

"You sure you're okay to keep going?" he asked you gently, using a thumb to brush over your cheek.

The deep rasp in his voice after having been... occupied for the past hour sent a wave of pleasure coursing through your veins. So you nodded, removing your finger from your mouth and bringing his face down to meet yours in a deep, loving kiss that had you both weak in the knees.

You slid up to the head of the bed, your legs resting wide open as Spencer removed himself of his clothes. You rid your shirt as well, the two of you never losing eye contact as you bared yourselves to each other for the first time in months. The air between you two was utterly electric, all this time apart coming to an end at last. Your bodies practically buzzed with the nearness, your veins going numb each time he brushed up against you as he settled out of his clothes and in between your legs.

When he leaned forward, the head of his cock gliding up through your folds to ready himself, you sighed out, reaching up to grab his face with both of your hands. Your fingers gently brushed away stray strands of hair from his eyes, and you smiled, hoping to convey to him just how much you truly loved him. Sure enough, his eyes softened once again under your gaze, and mostly, almost entirely gone was the insecurity and sorrow that had plagued them.

"I love you, Spencer," you told him, bringing his face down so your noses were touching. You brushed your nose against his and then pressed a gentle kiss to it, right as he started to push into you. You captured each others' shaky, relieved sighs as he bottomed out, holding himself deep inside you and pulling your legs up to wrap around his arms. Your tongue licked up into his mouth as you whined, already so relieved to have him in your arms (and quite frankly your pussy) once again.

He started to move ever so slowly, never fully retreating all the way before pressing his hips back into yours, and the groan that left his throat as he felt you clamping around him wrecked you all all over again. "So tight and warm," he mused softly against your lips, accepting and returning every kiss you gave him as he continued a slow, searing pace inside of you. "I've missed you so much, pretty girl... Dreamt... about you almost every night..."

"Me, too," you admitted, softly moaning out at the burning between your legs. "Missed... feeling you inside me. You always... Ohhh... always f—fill me up so g—good." Pressure was already building between your hips again, threatening to pop like a balloon at any given moment. But you wanted to hold on, to revel in this moment as long as you could.

Your hands grazed over his shoulders, lightly digging your nails into the skin as he drove into you a little harder. His pace was still tantalizingly slow, though the force with which he showed you how much he loved you, accented with a sharp, loud slap of skin each time, more than made up for it.

It didn't help that you could hear how wet you were with each movement, how aroused he made you and how loved he made you feel. It was something he obviously knew, but being able to hear it, every wet and delicious sound that came from your body as he made love to you like that, praised him better than any words could possibly dream.

Still, he asked you anyway, a means of dirty talk if nothing else. "You hear that, princess? You hear how good I make you feel?"

You buried your face into his neck, incoherently moaning and grumbling out curses as he shifted his hips and angled himself deeper inside you. Your legs were burning from being bent and wrapped around his arms, but somehow that burn only added to the pressure building in your belly. You couldn't help clenching around him, an action which made him groan into your neck.

"Go ahead and come for me, pretty girl," he stuttered out. "I... I know you have to. Let go for me... Give me all you got..."

His words, strained and raspy, coupled with hot kisses to your neck certainly helped you get there, but you wanted more. "But I want you to come with me," you whimpered out, clutching onto his shoulders. "I wanna... be... together again."

To help him out, you clenched around him over and over, giving him a tighter space to work with, and a guttural groan escaped him as his hips started to stutter. "Together..." is all he could coherently get out.

As soon as the word left his lips, you both shattered, trembling and sparking to life with pleasure. He spilled over inside of you, white hot and thick. It was a feeling you missed dearly, the dreams of it never able to fully satiate your need for him. In turn your walls fluttered around him and you whined into his shoulder, bringing your hands up to grip his hair as his cock twitched inside of you and gave you everything he had to offer. You clung to the feeling as long as you could, rolling your hips up to keep it all in and ride out your high to the fullest extent.

In fact, you were pretty sure that even by the end, when he'd slumped over on top of you and loosened your legs, you were still orgasming, a low burn settling in your stomach as you kept clenching around him, almost like you were trying to drink him up into you like a milkshake through straw.

"B—Baby, I'm gonna... come again if you keep that up," Spencer stuttered, his hands combing through your hair now as his lips pressed into your neck.

You only hummed in response, wrapping your legs around his waist and hooking your ankles over his ass. You kept contracting slowly around him, rolling your hips upwards, even as his warm cum started to spill out of you. Soon enough, he was doing it again, filling you up with warmth and love, his mouth open and hot on the skin of your neck as he did so, muttering your name over and over.

Eventually you loosened your hold on him, every muscle in your body relaxing and falling to the bed with a low tingle of numbness. With Spencer kissing softly over your neck and up to your mouth, you were the most content you'd been in months.

You must have stayed in bed for hours, even though he tried to tell you that you should probably clean up. You only grumbled in response, holding him tighter to you and burying your face into his neck. Still, he laid there, rubbing your head and clinging to you anyways, finally glad to be home.

And even though you were technically home, it never really felt that way when he was gone— To be home was to be near him. And you never wanted to leave his side again, even though realistically you knew you'd need to be separated eventually.

But for now, you could be near him like he was never going to leave, reveling in the warmth and comfort that his arms provided.

And with you he could do the same.

***

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @s1utformgg @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee

TAGS NOT WORKING: @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith

If you would like to be added to the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment, and I’ll add you!

[ganyuslily]

A SOULMATE WHO WASN’T MEANT TO BE.

he’s your soulmate but you’re not his. you should’ve known something was up when he never said “i love u” back.

pairing: diluc x reader

category/extra notes: angst, “lovers to strangers” trope, soulmate!au, modern!au, part of the “a song for you” event, fighting

note: the song is “a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be” by jess benko + purple hyacinth (sorrow + i’m sorry)

it’s silent.

you think to yourself it all makes sense now; the way you weren’t as perfect as soulmates should be, the way you fought over the most stupidest things. the way he never seemed to fully look at you, seemingly looking for something (someone) else.

it’s melancholic, in a way. standing on the bus stop, the rain pouring down.

“oh, hello!” a cheery voice reached diluc’s ears. he wasn’t expecting anyone, not at this ungodly hour in the middle of nowhere. and yet, there you stand, without a parasol in your hand, your hair and clothes wet.

“hello?” his answer sounds more like a question.

“i wasn’t really expecting anyone here,” you say, “there aren’t many people here in general. are you new?” you look at him with curiosity.

“you can say so,” he murmurs.

you only hum. you seem like you want to say something more, but in the end you don’t. you stand next to each other for some time. the rain falls and the night lamps shine. the bus is nowhere to be seen.

he outstreches his hand. the one he has his parasol in.

“come here,” he says, “if you want to, of course,” he adds hurriedly.

“thank you!” you tell him with a smile. he can’t help but let his lips turn upwards a little bit too.

“so, how are they like?” you ask with a forced smile, your hand tightening on the parasol. the same one he gave you. you’re not sure if he remembers. it doesn’t seem like he does, at least.

he looks at you awkwardly. he looks like a child that just got scolded by his parent.

“perfect,” he says quietly. everything you weren’t, seem to say his eyes. your heart breaks a little bit.

“why can’t you just shut up!”

“oh, i should shut up?” you scream, eyes filled with anger. “sorry i was worried! sorry i was concerned about the wellbeing of my own fucking soulmate!” you say, not noticing the way he seems to flinch at the word soulmate.

“i wish you wouldn’t act that way! it’s annoying, so fucking annoying always having someone on your back! you’re not my parent for god’s sake, why can’t you understand that? i don’t need your help! i never said i did!” he lashes out, words seeming to just spill out of him. you’re too blinded by your anger to feel hurt.

“maybe if you just fucking communicated with me, you know, how couples do, i wouldn’t have to be worried! who the fuck comes back home at three am without any information beforehand? it’s been happening for weeks diluc! weeks! i am so tired of your vague answers and disappearances!”

you’re breathing heavily. his eyes seem to throw daggers at you and it’s hard to believe those same eyes looked at you with love and softness just some months ago. where did it all go wrong?

“i wish i never met you,” you spit out.

“likewise.”

“that’s great,” you answer him. there is silence between the both of you. not the comfortable one, no. this one was tense and awkward. you don’t remember if the one you shared with him was ever entirely comforting. you wonder if he experiences that with his soulmate.

the bus comes quite quickly. ironic considering it never seemed to do that before. you look at each other. he doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself.

“why didn’t you tell me?”

he doesn’t answer. he looks like a kicked dog, even though he was the one that took your heart out of your chest and stomped on it. you should be the one sad.

but you’re just so tired. you don’t have the energy to fight or be mad. that’s all you’ve been doing lately anyways.

how funny, he was your soulmate, but you weren’t his. it feels like the universe is pulling a sick joke on you. you wonder what you did to deserve this.

“leave,” you murmur.

he does it wordlessly. a part of you wants to scream after him, beg him to stay, ask why he doesn’t turn. ask if you weren’t enough, if it was your fault. another part of you is glad he doesn’t stay. you just wished you never said “i love you”.

“goodbye,” you help him out. he deserves to be happy. even if it’s not with you.

“goodbye,” the word is heavy. it’s filled with sorrow but also relief. you know he’d rather never meet you again. you don’t blame him.

you weren’t close anymore. even though he could break you down with just a couple of words and held all of your secrets, he was just a stranger now. nothing more and nothing less.

“why do i still need to care for you?” you wonder, looking at the purple hyacinths laying on your bed table. one of the only things that were left after him.

“i’m sorry,” they meant. what a pity an apology wouldn’t heal a broken heart.

[potionsprefect]

Struggles

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke

Word count: 1.2k

Summary: Despite how much he wants to, he finds it difficult to talk to her

Rating: Teen

Category: Angst

His back was stiff from sleeping on the couch, the blanket barely covering his lean body.

It had been a sleepless night, Ethan constantly staring at the door that separates the two of them, praying, wondering if she’s okay.

Putting a stop to whatever they were about to do was the right thing. At least that’s what he kept telling himself. He just wished he hadn’t spoken to her like that.

He was in unfamiliar territory. He hadn’t felt this way about anyone for a long time - even when he was in an on/off relationship with Harper, his heart was beating in a way it had never done before.

A way that spelled out her name and her name only.

He could hear movement on the other side of the door. He got up and pulled it open slightly. She was sat on the bed, her naked back to him as she tried to do her bikini top up.

He imagined his hands on her, warm skin under his fingertips, tracing every curve of her body, from her breasts to her soft, silky hair. He closed his eyes, imagining her in his arms like how she was yesterday. This time, she was naked, they both were, bodies pressed against each other on the king size bed.

He imagined hearing the noises she would make, the same noises he heard last night in the still of the Miami air. How he would kiss her neck, make his way down her chest, leaving red marks all over her body as he found the spot he craved the most. He would push her body to the limit until she was a trembling mess before him.

He then imagined connecting their bodies, how they would move in the same rhythm, hearts and breaths in unison. He would look into her eyes, those bright green eyes that captivated him so much, his hold on her tightening as they rode out their high.

Ethan was snapped out of his fantasy by the sound of the hotel room door slamming shut. He quickly pulled the doors apart only to find the other side of the room empty.

He sighed heavily. He should really go after her, beg her not to stay away, he wanted her with him.

But for some reason his feet were glued to the floor, unable to move.

He had let her go once again.

The door to the hotel room opened and Ethan looked up from the medical journal he was reading. He put the book down and stood up.

“What are you doing here?” Victoria asked.

“It may have escaped your notice but this is my hotel room too.” Ethan replied.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t speak to me like that Doctor Ramsey. I merely asked why you are here and not rubbing shoulders with doctors elite.” Victoria rolled her eyes.

It stung when she called him by his professional name. He loved hearing his name come out of her mouth last night. How he wished he could hear it again.

“Where did you go?” Ethan cut through the silence that hit them.

“Down to the beach. It’s really hot outside. You should be out there instead of stuck indoors.”

“I don’t like the beach. I prefer staying away from the sand.” Ethan said.

“Fair enough. I’m going to take a shower. And then I’m going to explore Miami. I’ll see you later.” Victoria said as she headed into the bathroom.

How he wished he could join her. But despite being unethical, it would be morally wrong given what he did last night.

So once again, he let her go.

It was the day before they left Miami. This time tomorrow they would be back in Boston, back where they would just be an attending and an intern.

Out in Miami, there was a sense of freedom. Where barely anyone knew who they were. In Boston, they wouldn’t be able to be open with each other. Which is why Ethan was going to tackle this now before they got back home.

Once again, Victoria had spent the day down at the beach and was now sorting herself out on her side of the room.

“Okay I’m ready. You can come out now.” Victoria called.

“I wasn’t hiding in the first place.” Ethan rolled his eyes.

“You think I haven’t noticed your staring the last couple of days.” Victoria said raising an eyebrow.

“That’s not… I haven’t-“

“Save it Ethan. You’ve never been subtle.”

“I wanted to talk to you.” Ethan admitted.

“And by talk do you mean not at all? I know what you’ve been wanting to do to me. I’ve been wanting the same thing.” Victoria sighed.

It wasn’t a surprise that she wanted what he wanted as well. Ethan had thought of nothing but her in the last few days.

“Why can’t we just give in? As I said, no one will need to know. We’re grown up enough to handle how we feel together without others finding out.” Victoria continued.

“I know we are. But it would be painful for the both of us. I don’t want to have to cause you anymore pain than I already have done.” Ethan sighed.

“Then tell me. What do we do?”

Ethan sighed heavily. He knew what he had to do, no matter how hard it pained him. He didn’t want to, but it was for her sake more than anything.

“We do what I said that night. We don’t go any further.” Ethan said.

His heart broke at the sadness in her eyes, tears shining brightly as they threatened to fall down her beautiful face.

“But why?” She managed to whisper.

“I… I really don’t know. But deep down it’s the right thing to do.”

“You don’t realise do you? You don’t want to cause me anymore pain, but that’s exactly what you’re doing.” Victoria said as the tears began to cascade down her cheeks.

Ethan felt his own tears in his eyes and a single one fall down his own cheek. He was never meant to be like this around her, never cause her this much pain but that’s exactly what he was doing and it was breaking her heart.

He gently cupped her face in his hands, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“I wish I could do more. But I don’t know what to say. I’m struggling to find the words.”

“Then allow actions to speak louder than words. If this is the last time then give me something to remember you by.” Victoria said.

Ethan pressed his forehead to hers as he shut his eyes, breathing her in as he held her close. He gently tilted her head up and attached his lips to hers.

Victoria wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing their bodies against each other. She coaxed his mouth open with her tongue, their tongues dancing with each other, his hands finding their way into her silky hair.

Ethan was the first to pull away, forehead resting against her own. He continued to stare at her, prolonging the moment for as long as possible.

“I don’t want you to pull away.” Victoria whispered, tears running down her face.

“Neither do I. But I have to. I’m so sorry.” Ethan stepped back.

And with that, he headed towards his side of the suite, shutting the sliding doors behind him, along with his heart and his feelings for the woman he admired so much.

For one final time, he let her go

Who doesn’t love a bit of Miami angst?

Tag list: @ohchoices @openheartfan @queencarb @genevievemd @iemcpbchoices @choicesaddict5 @schnitzelbutterfingers @alina-yol-ramsey @stygianflood @malakemads-blog @gryffindordaughterofathena @rookie-ramsey @sophxwithers @romewritingshop @ethansramsey @mrsethanfreakingramsey @coffeeheartaddict @mm2305 @nikki-2406 @maurine07 @nishas-paradise @replayfootsteps @mainstreetreader @anntoldst0ries @lsvdw-blog @kiara-36 @quixoticdreamer16 @lawyerlies @udishaman @headoverheelsforramsey @shanzay44 @itsjustamesshonestly @josiesopenheart @mysticalgalaxysstuff @adiehardfan @custaroonie @ireneadlerisseggsy @chaoticchopshopheart @takemyopenheart @kachrisberry @rookiemartin @jamespotterthefirst @anonymousrookie @a-crepusculo @natureblooms24 @jerzwriter @wanderingamongthewildflowers @rosebudde

@openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations

[homoose]

Love Has a Learning Curve: Part V (x reader)

Summary: Y/N meets Diana, and it goes better than she expected. Y/N meets the team, and it doesn’t go completely as planned. Spencer’s spidey senses are tingling. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: hurt/comfort, fluff

Word Count: 5k

Warnings/Includes: alcohol/drinking, reader gets drunk on accident and is incredibly insecure and self-deprecating, I think that’s it

a/n: Thank you all for your patience and kind words in this really sad and weird moment of my life. This couple brings me so much joy and I’m absolutely dreading the hurt that’s coming in the next part. Sorry in advance 😭 But also, you can re-read Lighthouse and First of Many before the angst!!!!!! If you haven’t read those fics, I recommend it because there are some relevant connections. ♥️

Series Masterlist

———

Y/N felt his hands sneaking around her waist, rubbing low over her tummy, and then the press of his warm body along her back. She tilted her head to make room for him to settle his chin on her shoulder, smiling as his hands completed their journey and wrapped her up tight.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” she answered, pressing their cheeks together.

“Are you almost done?”

“You made quite the mess, doctor.” It was the last weekend of Spencer’s sabbatical, and he had spent the afternoon cooking all of her favorite foods— a sort of preemptive gift for when he was back on the BAU’s unpredictable schedule. She’d taken on the responsibility of the dishes in return, which was no easy undertaking considering it seemed as though he’d used every single pot, pan, and utensil in her kitchen.

“If you’d let me help, you’d be done by now,” he complained, hugging her a little tighter and turning his head to drag his lips across her cheek.

“Let me just finish this pan, and then I’m all yours.”

He pressed a kiss to her cheek, then another to the spot behind her ear, and one more to her shoulder. Then he propped his chin once more and rubbed his thumbs where they rested against her sides.

She laughed a little as she ran the dish brush along the edges of the pan. “Comfy?”

He hummed his confirmation, and she could feel his smile as she lathered the inside of the pan, then rinsed it, and finally drained the sink. She dried her hands on the kitchen towel and turned to face him. He didn’t remove his hands, instead just let them glide over her hips and then settle on her lower back.

“Thank you for all of that.” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the fridge, packed full of leftovers. “My mom will be so honored to know you made her pot pie.”

“I could eat it every day for the rest of my life and be very, very happy.” He dropped his gaze and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Speaking of moms, I… I was wondering if you, um— if you’d want to meet my mom?”

Her eyes went a little wide, and he took her silence as an answer, continuing, “You don’t have to. It—it’s too soon.”

She brought a hand up to cup his chin between her fingers, bringing his eyes back to hers. “I would love to meet your mom.”

…

Spencer shut off the engine of the Volvo, turning in his seat to face her. She tried to settle her nerves without also spurring his own anxiety, which had been quite obviously flaring all morning.

“I’ll check in and visit for a few minutes, try to gauge what kind of a day it is, and then I’ll text you to come in or not.” He ran a hand over his face. “I really should have had you drive separate, because if it’s not a good day I don’t want you to have to wait around while I visit with her, but she’s been having a lot of good days recently, and—”

“Honey.” She found his hands where they were clutching a little aggressively at his leg and covered them with her own, running her thumbs soothingly along his skin. “It’s okay. Either way— whether I meet her today or we wait for a better day— it’s okay.”

He closed his eyes and breathed a relieved sigh. “Have I told you how much I love you yet today?”

“Mm, I don’t think you have,” she smiled.

He brought her hands up to his mouth, kissing the back of each. “I love you so much. The most.”

“I beg to differ.” She leaned over the console and kissed his nose. “I definitely love you the most.”

“Agree to disagree.” He shifted to meet her lips in a quick kiss. “I’ll text you in a few minutes?”

She gave him another kiss. “Sounds like a plan.”

Spencer dropped the keys into her hand and then climbed out of the car, closing the door and practically trotting toward the building. She would have laughed if it weren’t for the raging anxiety that was nearly suffocating her. She opened her door and put her legs out the side of the car, taking a deep breath and looking out over the parking lot.

Y/N knew that meeting Diana was a good thing. That Spencer wanted her to meet the most important woman in his life was a testament to their relationship. But the closer she got to it, the more she felt completely and totally out of place. What did she have to offer this woman’s remarkable son other than a mountain of student loan debt, an endless supply of expo markers, and an ever growing collection of toilet paper rolls?

She loved teaching kindergarten, and she was the first to defend the profession in most settings. But she was about to be in a room with two of the most brilliant minds on the planet, and she couldn’t help but wonder what she would possibly have to contribute. More than that, what would Diana Reid think of her son settling for someone so… ordinary?

Her phone buzzed with the incoming text message, and she bit back a sigh.

Spencer: It’s an incredible day. She’s already asking about you.

Y/N turned her face up to the clear blue sky, feeling the sun on her face and taking a deep breath. Then, she hoisted herself out of the vehicle, locking it and turning to walk toward the building. DC was hot and sticky this time of year, and she was grateful for the blast of air conditioning as she entered the facility.

The woman at the front desk— Suzanna, by her name tag— smiled kindly at her. “How can I help you?”

“I’m, um— I’m here to visit with Diana Reid.” Y/N began signing into the visitor’s log, smiling a little at Spencer’s hasty signature right above. “Her son is here, too— Spencer.”

“Ah, yes, you must be Y/N. Diana’s been so excited to meet you.” Suzanna chuckled lightly at her expression, and Y/N wondered just how much everyone already knew about her. “They’re just through there— in the sunroom.”

Y/N mumbled her thanks and turned in the direction of the sunroom, smoothing a nonexistent wrinkle from the skirt of her dress. She’d spent far too long getting ready this morning, including steaming the dress— a simple number with a black bodice and a skirt covered in books. It was her own personal nod to the incredible legacy that Diana had left— not only as a professor of classic literature, but also as the mother of the most incredible reader— and man— she’d ever met.

And now she had a moment of panic, wondering if maybe it was too on the nose, or if Diana would think it was silly and immature. She briefly considered turning and heading back out to the parking lot, but then Spencer appeared in the doorway to the sunroom, waving his thanks to Suzanna and then positively beaming at her . How could she deny him this?

He held out his hand to her, and she accepted it, instantly more at ease from the simple touch. He pulled her gently into the room, and there was Diana, perched on a floral sofa and looking quite elegant in a soft purple shawl.

She stood immediately, an absolutely radiant smile stretching across her face at the sight of them. Y/N watched as she clasped her hands in front of her and felt Spencer squeeze her hand at the same time.

“Y/N,” Diana smiled. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Y/N returned her smile. “It is such an honor to finally meet you, Mrs. Reid.”

She scoffed and waved her hand. “Just Diana, please.” Y/N saw the moment she noticed the dress, her eyes crinkling a bit at the corners. “I can already tell you’re perfect for my son: the lover of books.” She motioned to the seating area. “Come, sit.”

The three of them sat, Spencer in the armchair just across from them as she and Diana sat on the sofa. Y/N folded her hands in her lap and tried to straighten her posture. Diana leaned back against the couch with a smile.

“I really have heard a lot about you,” she repeated, sliding her eyes over to a blushing Spencer. “Spencer tells me you teach kindergarten.” Y/N nodded, and Diana shook her head. “I deeply admire the patience and energy you must have for that age group.”

Y/N laughed a little. “They can certainly be a handful. I hear you were a teacher as well.” Her eyes went a little wide at her mistake. “A professor, I mean.”

“Oh, yes, yes— 15th century literature.” Diana tilted her head, considering Y/N with a knowing gaze. “But teaching is teaching, no matter the age. And where would any of us be without our kindergarten teachers? The ones who teach us the very foundations of learning. Who not only teach us to read and write, but also to inquire and investigate and discover.”

Y/N felt unexpected tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, and she had to take a moment to breathe before speaking. “Thank you for saying that. Sometimes people assume that kindergarten is all play doh and finger paint.”

“What’s that saying about making assumptions?” Diana pondered.

“Issac Asimov said, ‘Assumptions are our windows on the world,’” Spencer offered.

“Mm, thank you for that, honey, but the one I’m thinking of is from an episode of The Odd Couple , I believe,” Diana corrected, winking at Y/N. “When you assume, you make an ass of you and me.”

“Ah.” Spencer held back a laugh, and Y/N’s heart felt just a little bit lighter.

Diana smiled brightly at her. “Your students must absolutely adore you.” Diana gestured vaguely to Spencer before continuing, “Spencer loved his kindergarten teacher— hm, Mrs. Hudson, was it?”

Spencer nodded in confirmation. Diana looked back to Y/N with a slightly mischievous grin. “His report cards always came back with the note that he was ‘helping’ the other students just a little too much— always the professor, even at five years old.”

Spencer let out an indignant squeak, and Y/N laughed. “My parents got a very similar note.” She gave Spencer a smile. “We just couldn’t help it, apparently.”

“I’m sure it didn’t help that he’d been reading for three years before he was even enrolled,” Diana mused. “Did he tell you that he originally considered studying the classics?” Y/N shook her head. “Well. When you’ve already read and discussed all the course material, it seems a waste of money, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed, I suppose it does,” Y/N agreed.

“Oh,” Diana tapped Y/N’s arm affectionately before gesturing back to Spencer, “and then there was the time that he became so fixated on the idea of becoming a magician that he somehow managed to trap a rabbit in our backyard.”

“ Mom ,” Spencer choked out.

“Oh my. No, no— please go on,” Y/N begged, waving her hand dismissively in Spencer’s direction and leaning closer to Diana. “I need all the embarrassing stories.”

Diana let out a lilting laugh. “The poor thing spent the better part of a weekend in a storage bin while Spencer tried to figure out the top hat trick.”

Y/N turned to him with a bewildered grin. “The storage bin was well ventilated!” he defended. “And she had plenty of food and water.”

“Did you figure out the trick?” Y/N asked.

“No,” he admitted sheepishly. “Mom found out about the rabbit before I could. And you need more than just the hat for the trick anyway.”

“We fed her one last carrot and then sent her back out to be with the rest of her bunny family, who must have been missing her dearly.” Diana winked at Y/N. “At least that’s what I had to tell six year old Spencer.”

“Rabbits are incredibly social and live in large colonies, so that actually was most likely the case,” Spencer supplied.

Diana smiled fondly at her son, and Y/N could practically feel the love radiating off of her. “Either way, I had one very sad little boy for the next week or so.” She turned back to Y/N. “We actually took a break from some of the more... advanced reading material so that I could read him The Tale of Peter Rabbit .”

“A classic in its own right,” Y/N said.

Diana nodded. “I’ve always said that children’s literature encompasses some of the most profound and imaginative storytelling. We can learn a lot from Peter and Ferdinand.”

“I love Ferdinand!” Y/N gasped. “Gosh, that’s one of my all time favorite books. My mom read it to me when I was little, and I read it to my kids every year.”

Diana threw her hands up. “And that right there tells me everything I need to know about your teaching. Well— that and everything Spencer’s already gushed about, of course.”

The three of them spent the better part of the afternoon laughing and trading embarrassing childhood stories. Diana was even more lovely than she could have imagined, and Y/N was grateful to be so quickly accepted into the small but incredibly loving family unit.

Every so often, she would catch Spencer’s eyes on her— soft and content and practically sparkling— and her heart would leap into her throat. He was uncharacteristically quiet, letting Diana lead most of their side of the conversation, only chiming in here and there to offer context or defend himself in a particularly mortifying tale. Diana unwittingly (or perhaps purposefully) revealed just how much Spencer had spoken about her; she already knew about Y/N’s home, her family, and most of her interests.

Spencer may have been quiet, but he was also blushing profusely— caught in the act of being absolutely enamored with her. Y/N found that she didn’t know how to feel about that. She should be happy. She should be thrilled. And in some ways, she was. Being with Spencer had made her the happiest she’d been in a very long time— maybe ever.

It was the happiness that scared her.

She deserved happiness. That’s what Anita would tell her. But the way she felt with Spencer— comfortable, natural, easy — was the rising action. She was still anticipating the climax, the mountaintop, the apex of joy. She hated herself for it, but she couldn’t help it. She’d learned that every mountain had a valley, and the falling action always dragged her against every jagged stone on the way down. She never failed to plummet from the heights into the depths of where she’d learned to live, quiet and lonely and a little bit bruised.

This knowledge didn't stop her from soaking up every second of the highs.

“I’m starting to get a little tired,” Diana admitted. She reached across the couch and patted Y/N’s hand, squeezing gently, and then she looked to Spencer. “I start to— forget when I’m tired.”

The smile that had become almost permanent that afternoon faltered slightly, but he nodded and checked his watch. “Four hours is pretty good.”

She hummed. “They’ve been longer as of late.”

Y/N watched as his nose twitched. “Does Dr. Kincaid think that’s good or bad?”

Diana gave him a sympathetic smile. “She’s not sure.”

It was quiet for a long moment, and then Y/N stood. “Let me give you a minute together.” Diana stood as well, and Y/N clasped her hands together. “I don’t think I can articulate how incredibly happy I am to have finally met you. And I— I definitely don’t have the words to properly thank you for raising such a wonderful man.”

Diana took her hands, squeezing them gently before pulling her into a hug. Y/N returned the embrace, and Diana murmured, “Thank you for loving him. Through the highs and the lows.”

Y/N blinked back tears for the second time that day, nodding into Diana’s shoulder and hugging her tightly.

With a final squeeze, Diana released her, and Y/N excused herself back out into the foyer. She signed out of the visitor log and waved to a grinning Suzanna, and then headed outside to catch her breath. She made it to the car, unlocking it and settling into the passenger seat before leaning over to turn it on and get the windows rolled down.

Spencer emerged from the building, his hands in his pockets. He quickly made his way to the vehicle, practically running across the parking lot and sliding behind the wheel. Before she could even say anything, he was surging across the console to grab her face in his hands and pull her into a kiss.

She steadied herself with her hands on his chest, clutching at his shirt and returning the unexpected passion with a slightly bewildered smile. When he was finished, he pulled back to lean their foreheads together. She caught her breath and asked, “What was that for?”

“She loved you, and I love you, and I’m so glad you got to meet her.”

She could hear the emotion in his voice, and she slid her arms around his back, pulling him into a hug. “Me, too.”

He leaned into her for a minute longer, breathing into her hair and pressing another kiss to her shoulder. Then he pulled back, smiling widely. “How would you feel about meeting the other family?”

…

Spencer drove them to meet up with the team at O’Keefe’s, a favorite haunt of theirs on the evenings when they’d wrapped a case at a reasonable hour. They headed up the sidewalk hand in hand, with Y/N leaning a little into his side. She was feeling slightly more at ease this time around thanks to the buffer of knowing Penelope, Luke, and JJ already.

Spencer held the door open, trailing in behind her with a hand on her waist. She spotted Penelope’s bright green dress immediately, and Spencer raised his hand in greeting. The group gave them a raucous cheer, and Y/N couldn’t help but smile.

Spencer kept his hand on the small of her back as they approached the table. He greeted the group and then turned to Y/N, gesturing around the table. He introduced her to Tara, Matt, and Emily, the three of whom greeted her with warm handshakes. Penelope was practically vibrating with excitement as she scooped her up into a hug.

“Gosh dang it, you are just so cute ,” Penelope squeaked. She pulled back from the hug to take stock of Y/N’s outfit. “The books, I love it. And the shoes!”

Y/N laughed, twirling her ankle to show off the pink t-strap heels. “I’m definitely going to regret them in about an hour. But they look cute anyway.”

Tara sidled up to the two of them, raising her glass in solidarity. “Here’s to cute shoes and pinched toes.” She took a sip of her scotch and then turned to Y/N. “What’s your poison?”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Y/N insisted.

Tara waved her hand and gestured to Spencer. “You got grandpa to come out to the bar. You’re not paying for a single drink tonight.”

“I come out with you guys!” he squeaked indignantly.

A chorus of exasperated groans made their way around the group, followed by good-natured laughs. Tara raised a single eyebrow in Spencer’s direction, and then turned her attention back to Y/N. “Like I said, you won’t need your wallet tonight. What’ll it be?”

…

She did not, in fact, have to reach for her wallet at all that evening. Between the seven of them, Y/N’s cup was always full and her smile was nearly permanent. She heard endless stories about Spencer, complete with photo evidence— much to his dismay.

She learned that Tara had a doctorate in forensic psychology, and Emily had worked internationally for years becoming the Unit Chief of the BAU. Luke had been an Army Ranger and a member of the Fugitive Task Force, and Matt had traveled the globe with the International Response Team.

They were all incredibly kind, asking about her family and her work, listening with interest as she recounted growing up on a farm and her days spent teaching kindergarten. Despite their apparent interest, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a little… silly. Stories of field trips and finger painting felt incredibly juvenile in comparison to the lived experiences of this remarkable team of people.

She did her best to steer the conversation back to the team whenever possible, which in some ways made the whole thing worse. But she managed to keep a smile for the evening, and she lost track of how many drinks made their way down the hatch. Luke ordered an assortment of snack foods for the group, and she gratefully accepted a few fries and a mozzarella stick to soak up some of the alcohol sloshing around in her stomach. At some point Spencer returned from the bar with an extra glass of water, sliding it her way with a knowing smile and a press of his lips to her cheek.

Eventually, Y/N had to excuse herself to the bathroom, patting Spencer’s arm and carefully navigating the dim bar. In the way that it so often did, the level of her intoxication made itself abundantly clear in the harsh lighting of the restroom. She stumbled out of the stall to wash her hands, using the countertop for balance and cursing under her breath.

She raised her head to analyze her appearance, groaning a little at the smudge of mascara under her eyes. As she swiped at the black rings, she considered that she had never quite figured out the ideal amount of alcohol— somehow always managing to get a little too drunk. And now she was too drunk in front of all of Spencer’s friends— his family.

Not only that, but for the second time today, she couldn’t help but feel so overwhelmingly ordinary . Surrounded by the team, all extraordinary and awe-inspiring in their own right, she was… plain, unaccomplished, boring . Spencer had called her remarkable; she felt anything but.

She closed her eyes against the tears that were threatening to spill over, remembering the last time she’d cried in a bar bathroom. She’d spent that evening wondering what was wrong with her… wondering if she deserved to have someone like Spencer at all.

“That’s just… the alcohol talking,” she reminded herself out loud into the empty bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror. “Stop bein’ a weirdo.”

She pushed out of the bathroom and back into the bar, walking a little more cautiously as the alcohol started to course through her bloodstream. As she approached the group again, Spencer’s eyes found her immediately, and he reached for her, pulling her underneath his arm and into his side. He brought his mouth close to her ear and murmured, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just—” She slid her hand around his waist to keep herself steady. “Just more tipsy than I thought.”

He ran a soothing hand along her arm. “Do you wanna go home?”

She shook her head. “No, no— ‘M fine. ‘S nice to be with your friends.”

“You’re sure?” He squeezed her shoulder and lowered his voice. “Because honestly I’m kind of ready to go.”

She looked up from where her head was resting on his chest to see him smiling softly at her. “Whatever you want.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then turned back to the team and cleared his throat. “We’re gonna head out.”

Tara made a show of checking her watch. “10:45? I’m surprised you stayed this long, old man.”

…

Y/N’s eyes opened slowly and came into focus as Spencer’s car came to a stop outside her apartment. “Why’re we here?”

Spencer shut off the ignition and pulled out the key with a small smile. “I have a feeling you’re going to feel… less than stellar tomorrow. I thought you might like to wake up in your own bed. Hang on.”

He climbed out of the vehicle and closed the door before coming around to her side. She could feel the tears welling up as she fumbled with the buckle on her seatbelt. Everything was a little uncoordinated, and she felt absolutely ridiculous.

The door opened, and she carefully swung her legs out one at a time. Spencer stood slightly to the side, and she knew she should hurry up and let him get home, but she didn’t move to get up.

“Do you need help?”

She shook her head, and the action sent a tear rolling over her bottom lash line. She tried to swipe it away, but of course Spencer caught it.

“Hey— what’s wrong?” he asked gently.

She sniffed. “Are you just dropping me off?”

He cupped a hand underneath her chin to tilt her eyes upward, and his eyes were soft but concerned. “I was planning to come upstairs with you. Unless you don’t want me to.”

She shook her head. “No, I— you can come upstairs.”

“Okay.” Spencer cocked his head. “Honey, what’s going on?”

Y/N didn’t know where to begin. She was drowning in self-doubt— had been since about the one month mark. It seemed that every day there was something new to feel insecure about. The confidence she’d had on his doorstep in March was nowhere to be found.

That was too much for her slow moving brain to articulate at the moment, so she settled on: “They’re all so smart and funny and cool and interesting.”

“Okay…” he prompted.

“And I’m not,” she admitted.

His mouth turned quickly down. “That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” she insisted. “I’m just— a kindergarten teacher and I— I don’t have any cool skills or stories, and I don’t even have any muscles, and they’re all so pretty —”

“Hey, stop— stop.” Spencer squatted down to be eye-level with her. “First of all, you’re not ‘just’ anything. And you’re my favorite kindergarten teacher and the best one I know.” He grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together. “You have lots of cool skills and stories. And I don’t have any muscles either.”

She lifted her free hand to squeeze his bicep. “Yes, you do.”

“Muscles are overrated.” He smiled and brought a hand to her face, smoothing her hair back and then letting his fingers linger on her cheek. “And frankly, pretty is too mundane a term to describe you. I’d go with something like radiant, or ethereal, or incandescent.”

“You have to s‘plain your jokes to me,” she slurred, swiping her forearm under her nose.

“Not always. And besides, I have to explain my jokes to basically everyone,” he reminded her. He squeezed her hand. “But unlike everyone else, you let me explain them to you. And you actually listen to the explanation.” He shrugged. “I think I like that more than I like telling the joke.”

She was quiet then, eyes focused on a particularly interesting piece of loose gravel. She knew the list of her flaws was longer, but her brain couldn’t string them together in her current state.

Spencer shuffled closer and waited patiently until she finally looked at him before continuing.

“I love you. And not because of your job, or your cool stories, or your muscles,” he clarified. “I love you because you’re you. And, a little selfishly, because I love the person that I am when I’m with you. Okay?”

He smiled tentatively, and she let out a long breath. “Okay.”

He leaned forward and kissed her nose. “Now, come on. Let’s get inside.”

Spencer helped her navigate up the walkway and the three flights of stairs. Rather than rummage drunkenly through her purse, she passed it off and allowed him to retrieve her keys and unlock the door.

He supervised and provided balance support as she haphazardly swiped a makeup wipe over her face and fumbled into her pajamas. Finally he got her settled into bed with a bottle of water on the bedside table.

He pulled up the covers around her. “I’m going to go to the bathroom,” he murmured.

This was the moment that he’d realize what an absolute fool she was. He’d finally be alone in the bathroom, and it would become abundantly clear that she couldn’t drink responsibly, that she was boring, that she was obnoxious. She was sure of it, and her heart was fracturing into a thousand tiny pieces.

Spencer’s nervous laugh broke through her haze of insecurity. “Whoa, I thought we were done crying?” he joked. “Honey, c’mere.” Spencer pulled her up into his arms, rubbing a hand over her back.

She hadn’t realized she was making any noise until the sound vibrated against where Spencer had tucked her into his shoulder. As if she hadn’t been foolish enough tonight, now she was blubbering into his nice cardigan. Despite herself, she clung to him like he’d disappear like smoke between her fingers.

“I’m— I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed; it’s not funny,” he apologized. “Shhh, sweetheart . It— it’s okay, it’s okay .”

“I don’t want you to go.” Her voice was full of tears and cracked pathetically at the end.

“Okay, okay,” he agreed, a tinge of confusion in his voice. “I’m— the bathroom can wait, I suppose.”

That only made her cry harder, which poor Spencer responded to with even more aggressive soothing. He stroked over her hair and hugged her tight, shushing her and rocking her a little bit back and forth.

He was just so sweet . Kind and thoughtful and considerate— three things she hadn’t experienced from a significant other in a very long time. And it was exhausting waiting for the shift— for the moment that he realized she wasn’t worth the hassle. She was so tired of anticipating the end.

“I don’t want you to leave.” She hated how ridiculous she sounded, gasping and hiccuping.

Spencer froze for a full second and then squeezed her impossibly tighter. “I’m not. Baby, I’m not. I am right here.” He stroked a firm hand up and down her spine. “I need you to take some deep breaths with me. I’m gonna do it, too, okay?”

He led her in a series of deep inhalations and long exhales to the rhythm of his palm on her back. He murmured quietly to her, reassurances and promises and love. As her breathing came closer to normal, he pressed a soft kiss into her hair.

“I love you, Y/N. You know that, right? I wouldn’t change one single thing about you.” His hand on her back slowed to a stop, and she could practically hear him considering his next move. “I’m pretty sure Billy Joel wrote a song about it, actually. I love you just the way you are. ”

She couldn’t stop the laugh from bubbling up in her throat at the tone deaf melody, and she felt him smile against her hair. “Okay?”

She wasn’t okay, but that wasn’t his fault. She sighed and sniffed. “Okay, off brand Billy Joel.”

“That’s not very nice,” he chuckled, pulling back to swipe his fingers over her damp cheeks.

“Yes, it is,” she insisted. “I love off brand. Just as good as the real thing, and with some fun quirks.”

“Somehow I don’t think he’d appreciate the comparison.” He smiled softly at her, and then his expression melted into something a little more serious. “But I mean it. There is no place I’d rather be, and no one else that I wanna be with. When I say that I love you the most, I mean that I love you more than I have ever loved anybody. Ever.”

He looked at her so earnestly that she wanted to cry all over again. How was he so wonderful, and gentle, and loving, and perfect ? He’d promised to do better on a chilly night in January and then spent every single day since then doing exactly that.

“But I actually do have to pee,” he admitted sheepishly. “Are you going to be okay here for a few minutes?”

He was speaking to her as he would a child, and she was utterly mortified. She waved her hand. “ God , I’m bein’ so annoying.”

“No, you’re not. You’re a little drunk. And a lot adorable.” He tapped gently on her nose. “But you’re also kind of sad, and I don’t want you to be sad.” He propped the pillow up behind her. “It’ll be the fastest pee ever— four minutes, tops. Most of it will be hand washing. Okay?"

“Okay,” she smiled, and she really meant it.

He hopped up and trotted to the bedroom door. “See you in four minutes. Have some water while you wait.”

She followed instructions, sipping carefully from the bottle he’d left for her. She also rummaged through the bedside drawer for the Advil, popping two and washing them down with another swig of water.

Spencer returned to the bedroom with his cardigan and pants already discarded. He quickly slipped out of his button up and into his pajamas before sliding in beside her and holding out his arms. “All right, c’mere.”

“Hmm?” she hummed.

“I’m demanding snuggles,” he clarified. “That’s the price you pay for my chauffeur and caretaker services.”

Another smile slowly turned up the corners of her mouth, and he returned it, pulling her against his side. “There she is.”

She allowed herself to settle and melt into his warmth, the soft fabric of his t-shirt under her cheek and his fingers brushing lightly over her arm. She willed herself to stop waiting for the shift. She begged herself to stop looking for the end.

Maybe this time there wouldn’t be an end. Maybe she could have an infinite middle with Spencer Reid. Maybe she had earned that.

———

Permanent tags: @spacedikut @andiebeaword @averyhotchner @pinkdiamond1016 @shadyladyperfection @coffeeandendlesswords @justanothetfangirl @no-honey-no @ajeff855 @sapphic-prentiss @rexorangecouny @rainsong01  @blameitonthenight21 @moviequeen51 @90spumkin @reniescarlett @ncsls0515 @sturmmhond @takeyourleap-of-faith @saspencereid @calm-and-doctor @reidtheprettyboy @atabigail @ayo-cowbelly @muffin-cup @ssa-natalya-reid @wheelsup @reidingmelodies @this-is-gublerween  @spenxerslut​​  @reidemandweep @sonnydoesrandomshit @rigatonireid @luwheezey @joalsglasses @je-suis-prest-rachel @enbyfaerie​​ @spencie-adams @honestimanormalfan @blurryreid  @elldell1204 @babyhoneystvles @lost-in-the-stars03 @reiding-recs @minervaonmars​​ @radtwinkie​​

Permanent (sfw) tags: @mrs-dr-reid @eevee0722 @goldentournesol @froggybagels​

Series tags:  @uhuhuh @itsametaphorbriansblog @magenta145 @annesauriol @watermelonfanfic-recs​​ @ampal98 @mggsprettygirl @ceeellewrites @thatsmyfavoritewhiteboy​​  @misshale21 @ilzieah @gublersbooblers @outcrbxrafe​​ @andromedasstarship @reidspurplescarfs @hanniebee33 @nazdaniels @irisisonline @nazifa94  @laurnrnlds​​ @outer-spacious @stupidcrazylittlething @princesssmooshie @luvspence @maddievevo @slaytherinthoughts

Broken tags: @samanthareid06 @archer561 (check visibility settings!)

[silversatoru]

Hello! I wanted to request for a chubby reader x Levi oneshot. I feel like there aren’t many stories that have chubby readers ): As for the storyline, I’m not sure if it falls in the angst or hurt/comfort category. It would be the reader feeling insecure about themselves because they have a harder time training than the others (them blaming it on their own weight) and seeing how everyone is much thinner than them, they start avoiding food. To not make it look suspicious, they’d go into the kitchen alone and put the food away along with the left overs. The reader would act normal with Levi and he doesn’t suspect anything at first. Later on, the reader would push themselves harder to the point where they’d train on their own whenever they had to chance so they can lose weight and improve their training. At this point, Levi starts noticing the reader looking paler than usual and the slight difference in their weight. One day during training, the reader ends up fainting from exhaustion and dehydration. They wake up on Levis’s bed with him looking over them. He asks what happened and the reader lies by saying they didn’t drink enough water. Levi calls it bs and ask if they think he’s stupid and goes on to tell them about how they noticed the reader sneaking off into the kitchen with a plate and coming out without it. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but he started putting the pieces together. They end up telling Levi the truth, the way they feel towards themself and how they don’t like the fact that they’re bigger than Levi. He comforts the reader and lets them know that they’re an idiot for thinking that way, etc. Thank you! I’m so sorry if it sounds so cheesy!

hello dear!! i dont think your idea was cheesy at all, i love it actually. these kind of issues live very close to my heart, so writing about them is always really fun for me. that being said,, this fic definitely got very dark and very real, and i would advise everyone to read the warnings before deciding to read this <33

empty

levi ackerman x gn!reader

synopsis: levi catches you skipping meals and does what he can to help

tags/warnings: eating disorder, skipping meals, hurt/comfort, but it does have a happy ending! 

word count: 2.2k 

Throbbing headaches and hollow, gnawing pains in your stomach — they’ve quickly become your new normal. You see everything through a hazy fog these days, nothing feels real and everything hurts but it’s worth it — that’s what you keep saying to yourself. You’re tired of lacking the same agility, momentum, and grace that your thinner counterparts have. 

Your weight was always something that ate away at the back of your head, but joining the scout regiment multiplied it tenfold. You were constantly working twice as hard as your fellow scouts, and it seemed like it was never enough. Everyone around you was not only ridiculously athletic, but so fucking thin. You didn’t hate your comrades for their bodies and the way they were born, but you made up for it by inflicting all of the hate onto yourself.

You wonder if anyone notices your zombie eyes or the abnormal paleness to your face — god, you hope they don’t. The last thing you want to do is have to confront your feelings and admit what you’ve been doing lately. Every night you shamefully sneak back into the kitchen and pour your plate of food into the large pot of leftovers. You pick at food here and there when your friends are watching, but behind closed doors you haven’t eaten much of anything lately. Your body is running on empty, and it’s only a matter of time before it fully catches up to you. 

You hear your last name echo from across the training fields, slowly turning around to see an angry captain sulking towards you. His face was twisted into an unpleasant grimace, his eyebrows knitted together into what almost looked like concern. 

“I’m excusing you from the remainder of training, leave,” his words were flat, but there was a subtle emotional edge. 

“Sorry, what?” you gave him a confused look — Captain Levi never excused anyone from training, not unless they were practically on their deathbed. 

“Go home, and eat a big dinner tonight, your energy has been less than adequate lately,” his face softened slightly, “I expect you to be back to normal by tomorrow. Your skills and abilities are needed here, so go get some rest and be better tomorrow, yeah?”

“But, I-,” you stammered, trying to come up with some kind of valid excuse. 

“That’s an order, cadet”. 

His words surprised you, and before you could even rack your brain for an appropriate way to respond, he was turned on his heels and walking away. You swallowed thickly, your throat dry and stuffed full with anxiety. 

Reluctantly, you followed his orders and made your way back to the Scout’s base early. You grabbed a stack of fresh clothing from your room before heading to the showers and scrubbing yourself free of all the sweat and grime from training. You were careful to avoid mirrors when you navigated bathrooms, and tonight was no exception, your eyes glued to the tiled floor. After showering, you hesitantly walked to the kitchen, preparing a plate of food and bringing it back to your room.

That food stared you in the eyes for hours, taunting you and teasing you and making intense nausea creep up your spine.  Tears were stinging the backs of your eyes and your lungs were shaking with heavy, anxiety-filled breaths. You couldn't do it, and you were overwhelmed with shame and guilt. If you couldn’t do it for Levi, you were hopeless that you’d be able to do it for anyone, never mind for yourself. 

After making countless pitiful attempts to take a bite of your untouched meal, you decided it was going back into the leftover pot — just like everything else. The other scouts should have returned and been sleeping by now anyway, you’d just silently creep down the hallway, dump the food, and creep back, no harm no foul. 

Except for that a certain short, dark-haired captain was standing at the end of the hallway — you didn't notice him, but he certainly noticed you. A boiling anger rippled up inside him as he felt an overwhelming disappointment in your actions. He’d been suspecting this kind of behavior for a while now, but watching you tip-toe down the hall and into the kitchen with an uneaten plate of food confirmed all of his suspicions. 

You could barely crawl out of bed the next morning, your ribs aching and your head pounding with a dull pain. You grasped at your tall dresser, catching your balance as you dangerously swayed back and forth for a few seconds. After regaining consciousness and stability you carefully changed into your uniform, having to stop and take breaks every few seconds because you were running out of breath. Your body felt utterly devoid of any kind of energy, and you wondered — when was the last time I actually ate something? 

It was far enough back that you couldn’t quite remember, maybe a few days at this point, you really weren’t sure anymore. You’d have to suck it up for training though, because the last thing you wanted was to be confronted by the captain again. 

You chugged back a full glass of water before lacing up your boots and throwing on a convincing facade. People don’t seem to notice something is wrong as long as you're smiling, laughing, and going along with what they say — it’s easy enough to fly under the radar of your fellow scouts. 

Levi’s radar is a little sharper though, and he keeps a close eye on you from the second you walk up to the training grounds. He’s disappointed in your hand to hand combat — it’s sloppy, slow, predictable. Your hands look shaky too, and maybe it's the light playing tricks on him but it looks like the color is draining from your face. 

Things are feeling deplorable on your side — you can barely stand anymore, never mind throw punches or avoid the oncoming attacks. Your vision was starting to tunnel, foggy black surrounding your periphery as you began to lose feeling in your fingertips. You tried desperately to cling onto whatever semblance of consciousness you had left, but failed miserably, your body collapsing to the hard earth beneath you. 

The soft glow of warm candles illuminated the walls around you when you finally woke up from the earlier incident. This wasn’t your room, where the hell were you? You uncomfortably shifted to the side and flinched when you saw your captain sitting in a chair in front of you. His arms were crossed and one of his legs was propped on top of the other, an icey look in his eyes.

“What happened today?” His words were very short and his tone was flooded with irritation — he didn’t even give you a chance to take in your surroundings.

“Ah- I didn’t sleep well last night,” you lied, “And maybe I haven’t been drinking enough water or something”. 

“I’m offended that you think I would fall for such a pitiful lie,” He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “I saw you sneak into the kitchen last night, how long have you been doing that?” 

Your eyes grew wide with anxiety, your heart abruptly dropping to the floor — you made sure to go extra late last night, why the hell was he still up?

You stayed quiet for a moment, pondering over how honest you should be with Levi right now. The two of you had always been a little closer than he was with the other scouts, but unfortunately there was no room for things like love in this world. You also assumed that maybe he never reciprocated your feelings because of your weight — but that was just more toxic fuel to the fire blossoming in your head. 

“Pretty long,” you sighed, ultimately deciding to be fully honest with him, because knowing Levi, he’d continue to see right through your lies anyway. 

“I figured,” He grumbled, uncrossing his legs and leaning back into his chair, “Why?” 

“Everyone around me is thin, I stick out. And, I’m not as agile or flexible as the other scouts either. I just thought that maybe...,” you bit down hard on your bottom lip, rolling onto your back so you wouldn’t have to look at him, “I thought my weight bothered you too, and also that I’d be more useful to the scouts if I was skinnier”. 

“You think I’d like you better if you were dead?” Levi was leaning closer now, heat boiling in his eyes, “Because that’s where you’re headed right now. If you truly think you’ll be more helpful to the scouts when you’re six feet under, you’re delusional. And who the hell gave you the idea that your weight bothered me?”

His harsh words were cold slap in the face, your eyes burning and threatening to spill over with tears. You didn’t want to die, not really, you just didn’t want to hate yourself anymore. 

“No one! I don’t know, I just thought, maybe because I was bigger than you-,” You continued to stammer over your words, tears beginning to leak down your cheeks. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he waved you off, not wanting to push the issue further, “You’re wrong, and I’m hurt that you’d even think that. I’ve never once thought that you were anything other than the way you should be”.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was weak and shaky, but your heart was pounding against your chest at his words. 

“I’m not the person you should be apologizing to, that’s something you owe to yourself” he shook his head and stood up to retrieve two small bowls of food from a nearby table, “I brought you something to eat”.

You watched him intently, pondering over his words about apologizing to yourself.

“It’s only a bowl of soup, so you can start small, yeah?” He offered one of the bowls to you, which you hesitantly took into your hands as you sat up. 

He sat down again across from you again, leaning back and taking a sip of broth from his bowl. You were grateful that he was here, that he was eating with you — it made things a little easier. You grasped the spoon in your hands and scooped up some brothy vegetables before lifting them into your mouth. 

“Good, finish the bowl,” nodded at you, giving you a reassuring look and lifting his own bowl to his lips again. 

The two of you ate in silence until you were finished, and then he sat the bowls back on his nightstand before finding a seat next to you on his bed. 

“Stay here tonight,” he stared at you with his signature tired eyes, but there were hints of concern laced through them now, “We’ll have breakfast together in the morning”. 

“Okay,” you gave him a weak nod, trying desperately to bottle up your growing emotions, but they were becoming too much to bear. 

Small sobs began to rack through your body, your chest tightening and your stomach lurching with anxiety. You were experiencing so many feelings tonight — eating for the first time in days and being here with Levi, it was overwhelming to say the least. 

You could barely see the captain through your blurry vision, but you could feel his arms maneuver themselves around you and pull you against his chest. You stayed like that for a while, Levi’s arms delicately holding you in place while quiet sobs worked their way out of your lips. 

“You’ve dug yourself into a deep hole, I won’t lie to you,” you heard him let out a tired sigh, “And it’s gonna take time and effort for you to dig your way out, but you’ll get there. We’ll start by having breakfast and dinner together every night, how does that sound? Just you and me, no one else has to watch”. 

You nuzzled a tiny nod into his chest, your tears finally running dry. It was a terrifying thought, eating normal again, but you were starting to feel hopeful that you might actually be able to do it. 

And so the two of you met every morning and every evening for your scheduled meals, and day by day things began to get easier. You even found yourself staying over in Levi’s room after dinner and into the morning for breakfast sometimes. Spending so much time together was definitely pushing the two of you to address the feelings you’d been hiding for so long. 

But not everything was perfect, it would be irrational to think it would be. You still have bad nights, where eating is so hard you break down into tears, and where you want nothing more than to rid yourself of the food in your system. It’s a draining process, but Levi works hard to make sure you stay on track with your progress. 

It’s slow, but eventually your face starts to glow again, your skin gets smooth and soft, and the aching pains in your body start to fade. Your war with your body is far from over, but you’re doing what you can, and you’re healing yourself one day at a time.

thank u for reading this, and now i would like to give you a gentle reminder to do something nice for your body today. eating disorders and mental illnesses are huge mountains to climb over, but taking things one day at a time makes it a little easier. try and eat a meal today (even if it’s small), go to sleep early and get some rest, take a shower and rub lotion all over your legs so they feel nice against your blankets when you lay in bed. baby steps are better than no steps at all, so be patient with yourself. n go drink some water, ur body loves that shit

[starryeyedrookie]

Before It’s Too Late (Ethan x MC)

Book: Set during book 2 ch. 11.

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Evelyn Long)

Word count: 1,996

Rating: General

Category: Angst

Summary: An attack scene rewrite when Ethan spends the night with MC.

A/N: Characters and some dialogue owned by Pizelberry.

I finally decided how I was going to write this rewrite. Initially I was trying to do a full chapter rewrite but half way through, I was already at 3k+ words so it would be waaaay to long. Thankfully, I managed to summarize it but also give it a ton of angst. (This was my first time writing angst btw.) I hope you enjoy!

8:30 pm

It's been exactly five hours since the attack. Five excruciatingly long hours since Evelyn’s world was turned upside down.

Travis, Senator Ed’s assistant, had slowly been poisoning him with lead. When they went to confront him, he pulled out a can and sprayed everyone in the room with a deadly unknown substance.

The Senator managed to escape and Travis was dead. But so was Bobby, with Danny fighting for his life.

Evelyn begins to cry again as she thinks about Bobby’s wife and two kids that he left behind. They would now have to grow up without their dad. He would miss so many big milestones in their lives all because of two selfish people.

“E-Evelyn…?” a weak voice calls from across the room.

She walks over to the bed where Raf is lying down, a light sheen of sweat covering his pale face.

The team had come a little while ago with a shot that they had hoped would slow the progression of their symptoms, but Raf’s still seemed to be getting worse.

“What’s wrong?” he asks quietly, gently wiping the tears from her face.

“I was just… thinking about Bobby’s family and… everything that he… would miss. He was… just telling me… this morning that… his oldest daughter is turning sixteen this year…”

“I know… life isn’t fair. They didn’t deserve any of this.”

“You didn’t either, Raf.”

“But I saved you from having to suffer so much… and that’s what matters.”

“Raf…”

“Shh… listen, I feel… like I’m… getting worse. Will you… do me a favour?”

“Of course. Anything you need.”

“Please help me call my vovo.”

Evelyn hands Raf his phone to unlock, then scrolls through his contacts until she sees his grandmother’s name, tapping it, she places the phone to his ear.

“Olá, vovo.”

“No… I’m not well. There was an attack at the hospital today and the Senator’s assistant tried to kill him. A few people were in the room when it happened. The Senator escaped, but his assistant and one person that works here died and the other is in critical condition. Evelyn and I are in quarantine right now.”

“I just wanted to let you know… that if I… don’t make it… I love you with all my heart.”

“Alright, take care. I love you too.”

“Thank you, Evelyn.” he takes a shaky breath, his heart rate slowing and growing more shallow.

“Evelyn… I think you should… call the team… I'm sorry I couldn't save you… that this… might be the way it ends…” he murmurs, eyes meeting hers, as warm and kind as the day they met.

Taking his hand, she can barely see him through her tears.

“You'll make it through this Raf… I know you will…”

He smiles up at her before his eyes flutter closed and his hand falls away.

Moments later Ethan and June rush into the room.

“I’d hoped that the treatment would buy us more time,” Ethan says sadly.

“We don’t know that it didn’t.” Evelyn tries reassuring him.

He nods as June’s eyes fill with sympathy.

“We’ll get him to the support suite. There’s still a chance that we could fix this Evelyn.” June tells her, as she prepares Rafael for transport.

Evelyn’s almost too scared to ask, but she needs to know. “How’s Danny?”

“We… we lost him.” Ethan’s voice comes out in a whisper.

“No…”

“Before he died he… he asked to be autopsied. To help the two of you.”

As Ethan turns to help June, Evelyn reports Raf’s most recent symptom of hot cold reversal.

“Stay strong, Evelyn. We’ll know more soon.” June tells her reassuringly as she and Ethan slowly push Raf out of the room.

Now she’s all alone, curled up on her bed, the pressure in her head becoming almost too much to bear.

Her mind drifts to Danny. She remembers her first day when he was the one that told her that she had just performed a thoracotomy with Ethan Ramsey. The night of the party her roommates had when he and Sienna talked all night until they fell asleep together on the couch.

Sienna. All Evelyn wanted to do was rush to her side and hold her. She and Danny were supposed to be together. They were meant for each other. But how he was gone, and Sienna would have to live with that loss. She probably never even got to say goodbye.

Goodbye. Evelyn had to be prepared.

Picking up her phone, she sees that she has several missed calls and messages.

Calling her mom, she picks up immediately.

“Evelyn sweetie! Are you okay?! Oh my goodness, we saw what happened on the news and I thought we lost you!”

Hearing her mom’s voice, her tears start falling again.

“I’m hanging in there right now mom. It’s just me in the room now. Rafael just got taken to the support suite.”

“Oh, sweetie…”

“Mom… is everyone there?”

“Yes, honey. We’re all here.”

“Can you put me on speaker please?”

“Hey Evey.” she hears her dad’s voice say.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Hi Evelyn, do they know what it is yet?

“Hi Ben, no they don’t. We got a shot earlier that was supposed to slow the progression of the symptoms, but we don’t have a cure yet.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, guys… if I don’t make it…”

“No Evelyn! You can’t say that!” her heart breaks as she hears Ben crying through the phone.

“Wait… just listen to me. I’m preparing for the worst. I want you guys to know… that I love you all so much. And I want to thank you for everything that you’ve done to help me fulfill my dreams.”

Aside from the sound of soft cries, the line is silent.

Finally, her dad speaks up.

“We love you too sweetie. Stay strong and hang in there. You’ll be fine.”

“I’ll try… take care.”

“Bye.”

Later, her friends and the diagnostics team are gathered outside her window. Bryce looks at her with haunted eyes while a crying Sienna buries her face in Jackie’s shoulder.

“How’s Kyra? The surgery must be over by now…”

“She’s fine and resting. We haven’t told her what happened yet.”

“Good idea.”

“So, do you know what it is yet?”

Ethan explains to her that it’s a maitotoxin that he had never seen before. It was still present in Danny’s bony postmortem and on the surface of his skin.

Processing the information, the realization hits Evelyn like a ton of bricks.

“Maitotoxin… that’s derived from parasites in fish, isn’t it? But… there’s no antidote so… I’m going to die here…” her voice now barely a whisper. “I can’t believe this. Today was supposed to be happy. Kyra was supposed to have a successful surgery and everything was supposed to be fine… but now Danny’s dead, Raf is in a coma, and I’m… I’m…” Evelyn buries her face in her hands as she begins to cry.

“Now isn’t the time to give up hope Evelyn. Because of Raf’s actions, you didn’t get much in your system so your symptoms aren’t as advanced. There may not be an antidote as yet, but I promise you that we’ll be working round-the-clock to synthesize one.” Ethan tries to sound as confident as he can, his heart breaking to see Evelyn hurting.

“You won’t be alone.”

Everyone turns around to see that the statement had come from Tobias, as he, and several Mass Kenmore doctors approached them, all prepared to do whatever it takes.

As everyone heads down to the lab, Ethan lingers behind at the window.

“Are you okay, Ethan?”

“No, Evelyn, I’m not okay. But you don’t need to hear about that. You should try and get some rest. Have you slept at all?”

“No. I can’t stop thinking about Rafael. How long he can last… whether… whether it’s already…”

“…Do you want me to stay for a while?”

“Yes, please. If this is my last night alive, I want to spend it with you.”

“If I was in your position, I’d feel the same way about you.”

“Really?”

“Really, Evelyn.”

Suiting up and entering the room, he gently guides her to the bed.

“Now lie down. I know it sounds impossible, but I need you to relax and try to think about something happy.”

As she lies down, Ethan gently pulls up the covers around her.

“Something happy like what it would be like if we went on a date?”

“If that’s what makes you happy then sure.”

Her happiness leaves as quickly as it came.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just feel like there are so many things that I should have done.”

“Like what?”

“I should have loved more.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve spent the last decade focusing on college, med school, work, always guarding my heart because I might be in another city the next year. It makes me wonder… what could have been,” she confesses sadly.

Ethan is quiet for a long moment.

“Since we’re sharing regrets, do you mind if I share one of mine?”

“Go ahead.”

Reaching across, Ethan’s gloved hand finds hers.

“I wish I hadn’t asked you to stay away.”

“You do?” she asks surprised.

“We’ve wasted so much time. I’ve wasted so much time. I should have held you in my arms every day and told you how much I… how much I love you.”

“Ethan?”

“Shh… I just needed you to know… that no matter what happens… I love and care about you more than I can ever tell you.”

“I love you too, Ethan.”

“You do?”

“Of course! I thought you knew that already.”

“I did. It’s just so wonderful to hear you say it.”

“I wish I could kiss you.”

“Soon. You will soon.”

Joining her on the bed, he wraps his bulky arms around her as eyes begin to flutter closed.

“Evelyn? Can you please look at me?”

“Hmm?”

Forcing her eyes open, she looks at him through his helmet.

“Promise me that you’ll keep fighting. That you won’t give up. Oh, Evelyn… our story’s only just begun and it can’t end here. Please… please promise me.”

“…I… promise,” she whispers before falling asleep.

The next morning she wakes up to excruciating pain in her stomach. Doubling over, Ethan reaches across from the chair for her.

“It’s okay Evelyn, you’ll be alright!”

Feeling weaker than ever, she can barely make out the blurry figures running to her window.

“Evelyn! We did it!” Aurora shouts.

“Huh?”

Baz and June enter the room with the antidote as Tobias explains how they did it.

“What about Raf? He’s much sicker than I am…”

“We administered it to him, but too far there’s been no chance. It’s possible we’re already too late.” Sienna gloomily reveals.

“But he hasn’t gotten any worse, that has to mean something!” Elijah adds.

As Ethan gently injects the serum into her vein, he whispers into her ear.

“Hang in there, Evelyn.”

Over the next several anxious hours, June comes regularly to take her blood.

Slowly, her blood pressure stabilizes and the nausea begins to fade.

As Evelyn looks around, she realizes that the room no longer looks blurry.

“Get up.”

She turns around to see a hazmat suit free Ethan stroll into the room with a big smile on his face.

“You mean…”

“It worked. There’s no trace of toxin left in your bloodstream. Even if there are still traces in the room, we know now that we can-”

“Oh!”

Evelyn flies into Ethan's arms pulling him into a tight hug.

“…What you’re saying is I’m finally free to do this?”

“Yes. This too.”

He leans down capturing her lips in a passionate kiss as tears fall down both of their faces.

“Ethan, aren’t you worried that someone will see?”

“No. After almost losing you, I’ve decided that there are more important things to worry about than what people will think. I love you with all my heart, Evelyn Long.”

Through her tears, she smiles up at him.

“I love you too, Ethan.”

{Two Weeks Later}

Taglist: @mercury84choices @a-crepusculo @emmasumbrella @quixoticdreamer16 @headoverheelsforramsey @mm2305 @adiehardfan @schnitzelbutterfingers

@choicesficwriterscreations @choicesbookclub

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed❤️

[hotchnersbiitch]

Pinky Promise

Request: @jojosgirlkat1dluvr​  Paring: Derek Morgan x reader  Category: Angst w/ a happy ending  Warning: Arguing, crying  Word Count: 9.7k

-

You’ve been lucky enough to score the handsome hunk, Derek Morgan, as your boyfriend. You guys were head over heels in love with one another. You were the only girl Derek ever talked about having a future together with, and honestly, he was the only guy you could picture having a future with. But recently you’ve been feeling rather unwanted. Derek Morgan is a flirt, everyone knows that. But wouldn’t one expect their boyfriend not to flirt while in a relationship? Well, Derek didn't quite get that part, because recently Derek has been flirting more and more while on cases and out and about. It hurt your feelings, you felt like Derek wasn't interested in you anymore. Like he was only with you out of pity or something. But today you had enough, you weren't going to put up with it anymore. 

This morning when you came into work you saw Derek chatting with some girl from another agency, they seemed to be having quite a good time. Too good a time. The girl was blushing and giggling, you knew Derek was flirting with her. It hurt seeing that, that should be you. You were so done with Derek’s flirting, you were going to talk about it with him at some point. You went straight to your desk, not acknowledging any of your teammates.

“You okay Y/N? You seem tense.” Emily asked from her desk which was across from yours. 

“I’m fine.” You mumbled, Emily, taking the hint that you weren't in the mood to talk right now so she let you be. Derek soon finished talking to the girl and made his way over to his desk, stopping by yours. 

“Good morning beautiful,” Derek said crouching down next to your chair to be eye level with you. 

“Leave me alone Derek, I’m not in the mood.” You muttered, refusing to even look at Derek. The man's brow furrowed, concerned as to why you were acting like this. 

“What’s wrong babe? Did something happen?” He asked, placing a hand on your shoulder and you just shrugged him off. This wasn't like you at all and that concerned your boyfriend. 

“Derek, seriously, I’m not in the mood.” You said a bit more stern this time and Derek put his hands up in surrender. 

“Alright, alright,” Derek said with a sigh, walking to his desk, giving you time to cool down. He was so confused as to why you were acting like this, honestly, the whole team was confused. You were the happy go lucky one of the group, and this morning you were the complete opposite. All day at work you ignored Derek, refusing to even look in his direction. You got up at one point during the day to get yourself a coffee, once you made it into the break room Derek stood up to go talk to you. JJ furrowed her brow at the male. 

“I wouldn't do that if I were you. She’s clearly not in a good mood Derek.” JJ warned and Derek just shrugged and walked into the break room where you were making yourself a cup of coffee. 

“Y/N, what's going on baby? I’ve never seen you like this.” Derek asked as he waked up behind you. You just ignored him, acted like he wasn't even there. Derek let out an annoyed chuckle. “Oh, so you're going to ignore me now?” Derek asked and you just kept on ignoring him. You were tired of letting him get away with being a bad boyfriend. “Whatever, fine.” Derek huffed, frustrated as to why you were acting like this. You just walked past Derek and back to your desk, Derek didn't give you attention anymore so why not do the same to him? The team noticed the tension between the two, it was obvious something was going on. You stayed at your desk the rest of the day, luckily there was no case, just simple paperwork. As soon as you finished you turned it into Hotch and gathered your things and left, not saying goodbye or waiting for Derek to walk you to your car like he normally did. You just left, leaving everyone very concerned. If you were mad at Derek it had to be something bad if you were acting like this. The team called you the sunshine of the group, but today you were not the sunshine. 

You drove home, stopping to grab yourself some food. You didn't feel like cooking tonight. When you got back to your apartment you changed into comfy clothes and sat down on the couch eating your fast-food dinner and watching reruns of your favorite show. You thought a lot about what to do about Derek, you decided you needed to talk to him about this. Ignoring him forever wasn't going to do any good. You pulled out your phone and sent him a text. 

“Can you come over? We need to talk.” 

You sent the messages, nervously awaiting a reply. Derek just replied with a simple ‘okay’, that wasn't very assuring but you took it. Awaiting Derek’s arrival as you stress ate from a tub of ice cream. Derek on the other hand was a nervous wreck as he left work, he was nervous you were going to break up with him. He still was clueless about what you could possibly be mad at him for. His nervousness soon turned into anger, he convinced himself that you were going to break up with him for no reason. Ugh, men. 

But soon enough there was a knock at the door, you got up and answered to door to the upset man. He walked inside, and you shut the door before you turned to look at him. 

“So why are you breaking up with me? What did I do?” Derek asked, his voice laced with anger, but also concern. You furrowed your brow in confusion. 

“Who said I was breaking up with you?” 

“Well, it is pretty obvious Y/N. You ignored me all day at work, you send me a mysterious text saying you needed to ‘talk’ What else am I supposed to assume?!” Derek exclaimed, you were angry now. How dare he come in here and yell at you like you're the bad guy? 

“Derek, you’re being ridiculous! I was going to talk to you about why I was mad, but I won’t talk to you when you're yelling at me.” You spat back, and Derek rolled his eyes. 

“What's so important that you need to talk about that causes you to ignore me all day?” Derek asked, his tone sarcastic. 

“You know what, you can leave. I’m not talking to you when you’re like this.” You said seriously and Derek let out an annoyed laugh.

“Exactly, you were going to break up with me. Just do it!” He yelled, you about lost it then and there. 

“No, Derek, I wasn't going to break up with you! I wanted to talk about your flirting problem but clearly you don't need me! Go flirt with all the girls you want, you don't need me to hold you back because clearly, I am not important enough!” You yelled, tears pricking in your eyes. Derek’s face softened at this, he blew this way out of proportion. 

“Y/N... I didn't know... I’m sorry. We can talk about it.” Derek said, his voice much softer this time. You just shook your head and wiped your eyes, walking over to your couch and sat down. 

“Leave.” That was all you said and Derek shook his head. You were both so stubborn sometimes, it always caused issues. 

“No, I’m not leaving when you’re upset at me. We can talk this out Y/N, please baby.” Derek said, sitting on the other end of the couch. You didn't say anything, you just pulled your sweatpant clad legs to your chest. You were so upset, you just wanted your boyfriend to act like your boyfriend. Was that so much to ask for? Why couldn't Derek understand how terrible it makes you feel when he flirts with other girls. How insecure it made you feel. How unspecial it made you feel. You knew he wouldn't be happy if you went out and flirted with other men, especially in front of him. You couldn't take it anymore, you just couldn’t. With your face buried in your knees, you started crying, not caring that Derek was sitting only feet away from you. 

“I can’t- I can’t Derek.” You cried, hugging your legs close to your chest. Derek’s heart broke, he didn't know his actions hurt you so much. Derek scooted over closer to you, pulling you into his lap. 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby. I’ll be better.” Derek said as he rubbed your back, trying to console you. You didn't care that you were mad at him, you needed comfort. You wrapped your arms around Derek and cried. 

“I just want to be good enough for you... Am I not good enough for you?” You sobbed into his shirt, Derek sighed and rubbed your back. 

“You are more than enough for me. You're the only girl I want.” Derek said and you pulled away, looking at him with your red teary eyes. 

“Then why do you flirt with other girls all the time?...” You asked, Derek sighed and shrugged his shoulders. 

“I don't know, you're my first real relationship. Flirting is... was just my thing. I just do it I guess. I didn't think about it hurting your feelings and I'm sorry. I will stop, I mean it, baby. Really I do, I love you and only you.” Derek said honestly, it sounded pathetic but it was the truth. 

“You promise?” You asked, Derek, nodded and stuck out his pinky for you. 

“Yeah, I promise. Pinky promise.” Derek said with a small smile, you smiled back, wrapping your pinky around his. 

“You know you can never break a pinky promise right? They are unbreakable.” You said with a soft giggle, wiping your eyes. Derek chuckled and nodded, kissing your forehead. 

“I know, I’ll never break that promise. Now let me make it up to you, we can spend the weekend at my place and I’ll take you on a date. How's that sound?” Derek asked and you grinned widely at him, nodding your head. 

“That sounds wonderful.” You said with a smile, kissing Derek's lips softly. Feeling much better now that you talked everything out with your lover. Derek kissed you back before pulling away. 

“But first let me make it up to you in another way,” Derek said with a smirk, a blush forming on your cheeks, Derek had the most intoxicating effect on you. It was safe to say Derek most definitely made it up to you. By the end of the weekend, you knew that Derek only loved you and that he was going to do everything he could to show that to you. 

[primofate]

Breaking Up (Part 3-Final) Albedo x gn!reader

Scenario: Breaking up and getting back together again

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: This is the FLUFF part. Not proofread. 

Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2, Fluff in Part 3

Read: (Part 1)  (Part 2)

You hummed a light tune as you walked around fields, gathering herbs from trees and shrubs. The sun was about to set, and it painted a slightly orange hue on the sky. 

“Y/N,” You stand and turn, sunsettia gathered around your arms and other herbs in your backpack. Albedo is walking towards you with a soft smile, and you return it with a bigger one. “Albedo,” you pipe up and jog to meet him halfway. He thinks you’re a little bit like a puppy sometimes, it’s just not possible to resist the eyes that look up at him expectantly. 

All his fears came crashing down on him once more and he half-panicked. 

He wraps one arm around your waist and leans in for a quick kiss on the nose as a greeting, before pulling away and helping you with the sunsettias. “You lost track of time again,” he states and you just laugh sheepishly. “Ah...yeah, I get too into ingredient gathering sometimes...”

Albedo had gotten home and found a note on the table stating where you were. Just like he had requested. Weeks following the two of you getting back together there’d been an incident where he came home and found that you weren’t there yet again. 

Had he done something wrong? 

Did he say something bad? 

Where were you? 

Did you leave again? 

Only to have you strolling into the house the next moment, smile on your face, saying that you went out to do some shopping. He swept you into a hug that confused you. He was beyond terrified that it might have happened again.

He’d go as far as to say that it was borderline PTSD. 

“Can you kindly do me a favor and leave a note if you’ve gone out? It would really... make me feel better,”

And you understood. Perhaps you would’ve felt the same way. If you came home late at night and found that he wasn’t home yet. You’d tend to think that something happened to him, and so you complied to his request. 

He’d become a little better at managing his time. He figured Sucrose could handle more responsibilities and figured that he could also work a little bit at home. Readings and research did count as work, the only downside was that he had to borrow books from the library and bring it all the way back home, but he didn’t care much about that. You kept the house so warm and cozy that it was the perfect place to concentrate and be productive. 

“Come,” Albedo beckoned you from the chair of his makeshift office at home. You tilt your head, as you were about to leave the tea on his table and leave him to work again but he’d grabbed your hand and tugged you towards him.

“Can I help you?” You asked with a slight grin to your question. He pulls you over to his lap, arms around your waist and has your back flush against his front. His head hovering above your shoulder as he continues his reading as if everything was normal, and as if you weren’t sitting on his lap. “Am I just going to stay here?” You giggle and tilt your head back to look up at him.

A small smile cracks on his face as he shushes you, “Shh, absolute concentration is needed during research, Y/N,” but he lets go of the papers he was holding and leans back into his chair, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “You’re required to stay until my energy levels are back to normal,” 

“And what’s your energy levels now?” You play along with his little game, him starting to pepper kisses on your cheek. “I’m at zero, you’ve only just come in after all,” 

Sometimes you wonder if he really gets any work done, but it looks as if he does, and is even more determined to keep researching certain things. Of course, there were still days where he was incredibly busy. But he’d made up for those days by being considerate and aware of the time he spent at work. 

“I apologize... It got busy again this week...” he nearly sighs as he wraps his arms around your waist, the same nose kiss as a greeting. You’re a little more understanding of his predicament, but mostly because he communicated more. Where before he would come home and not say anything, now he would apologize and tell you about what was going wrong in his schedule. 

And the next day he was free, you’d wake up without worrying about breakfast because he had prepared it--granted he wasn’t the best cook in the world but he knew some recipes--and he knew just how you wanted your coffee or your tea. 

Turns out those little things did add up and made everything much easier.

“What’s for dinner today?” He asks as the two of you walk home. You put on a thinking face, “Maybe some cream stew?” the small talk the two of you engage in is peaceful and natural. “Would that be okay?” You glance at him, expecting an answer, but didn’t get any. You blink and turn your head to look at him, he’s lost in thought it looks like. “Albedo?” and he blinks back to turn and look at you. “Yes?” 

“I was asking if cream stew was okay,” there’s a slight crease of worry on your eyebrows, but his smile takes it away. “Yes, that’d be nice,” he simply says and for some odd reason, he doesn’t talk about his day today. It’d almost felt like a routine now, how he would tell you what he and Sucrose had been working on, or maybe if Klee barged in again today, or maybe even Kaeya. 

He was a little too quiet, and you kept stealing glances at him.

Even as the two of you arrive home and close the door behind you, immediately going towards the kitchen, it was a little tense and you weren’t quite sure why. He had this...frown on his face, but he didn’t look angry. “...Is there something on your mind?” you ask as you start prepping the ingredients.

He visibly stiffens up and just stands there. At this point you know that something is wrong. “Did something happen? Did I say something wrong?” You question as you’re about to wipe your hands on a kitchen towel. He suddenly shakes his head, “No, not at all. I--” 

and he starts his story as you put on an apron.

“Kaeya came by today...He says that...” his eyes dart away from you. “That I should consider...getting a ring,” You stop tying the apron around your middle and focus your attention on him. Eyes going a fraction wider. “But I... That is to say... If you would like a ring then I will gladly get you one, Y/N,” you’re not sure where this is going but your heart is starting to patter louder in your chest. “But I just don’t think it would change a thing. A ring is not enough to really tell you how much I...” he pauses and his eyes finally find yours. “How much I adore you. A band around my finger or your finger...can never represent the gratitude,” he emphasizes his next words “the comfort, the love that I have for you,”

It’s starting to feel like there’s an elephant in your throat, and you start to blink a little faster because you don’t want to cry. You just thought it’d be a little silly.

“I just... I hope you’re aware, ring or no ring... My intentions are the same. I don’t plan on spending the rest of my lifetime with anyone else,” you secretly bite your lip, “...It’ll only be you,” and he scratches the back of his neck, tearing his eyes away from you once again, mumbling--and it’s so rare to see him in such a vulnerable state-- “Kaeya mentioned that if I don’t get you a ring... that you might leave... I’m aware he’s not the most trustworthy but... I just... wanted to make sure,”

And despite the few small happy tears that finally cascade down your cheeks you laugh a little, picturing the mischievous glint in Kaeya’s eyes as he tells this to Albedo. 

Albedo smiles a little and brushes the few tears that managed to slip out, but you reply to him. “You know how Kaeya is, Bedo,” which translates to ‘don’t listen to him,’. Albedo knows. But when it came to you he wasn’t going to take chances. You contentedly wrap your arms around his middle and he hugs you back around your shoulders as he whispers into your hair. “But you know... Perhaps I should get you a ring, when the time comes,”

“Hm?” You merely murmur, asking about his sudden change in opinion.

“Just to let others know you’re taken,” 

Another rumble of laughter lifts from your chest. This time, he joins you.

Taglist: @rim0na @sweeti-pie @yamsthegod @reaped-winnower @hai-q-haikyuu @tkshoki @fanfictionenthusiast @skatercashew @leefletter @kimbapsana @hentaje @marginmaster87 @tempehlust @rinnesy @hallohun @softlybeloved @ssalamanderr @ben6ett @rytszk @guilixi @mondstadts-favourite-traveler @mkazuyuh @ayra2452008 @simpingover @soft-like-sunshine @lnrchii @scheophi @larkspyrr @outlet-0

If I didn’t tag you, it’s cause I couldn’t. Probably something about your settings or your name :)

Masterlist

https://primofate.tumblr.com/post/653296890583154688/masterlist-for-mobile-version-main-links

Taglist (Want to be notified when something new comes out? Sign up!):

https://forms.gle/VZmJXQssHcv7YzQc6

If you’d like to be extra sweet and donate, here’s my kofi link:

https://ko-fi.com/primofate

[thatbangtanbloom]

we’ll always have paris | kth

we’ll always have paris

characters: kim taehyung x reader

genre: idol!taehyung, reader

categories: fluff, angst, smut (pls forgive me it’s my first time)

warnings: dirty talk (tae loves it ngl), oppa kink???, taehyung is absOLUTELY WHIPPED for reader, unprotected sex (pulling out - do not do this ok; wrap it up kids!!!!), curse words 

word count: 9.8k 

Talks of traveling from Seoul to Paris were a frequent topic between the two lovers for the first two years of their relationship. Paris was a place of new beginnings, for strolls all the Champs-Elysses, and kisses under the Eiffel Tower. Renowned for its beauty and culture, any couple intending on forever had to travel to this as a form of pilgrimage. 

Nevertheless, the duty of an idol did not align with that of a student. The number of times Kim Taehyung traveled to Paris for touring could not be counted on his fingers, for his trips were numerous. The love for ARMY was not the same for his girlfriend (and soon-to-be fiancée) so the feelings that Edith Piaf sung in ‘La vie en rose’ left him misty-eyed in anticipation for the moment he would finally do so.

“I’m going to Paris!” were the words that greeted Taehyung on his daily virtual call from his girlfriend, YN. Her chubby cheeks were filled with light as she crossed her legs in her dorm room. It was reassuring to see she was happy: her bed perfectly fixed behind her and the Tata plushie he brought him tucked under her arm. “Well.. Lyon, but my exit flight is in Paris.”

Her excitement is infectious to Taehyung. “Wait.. you are only going to Paris for your exit flight?” He asks with a frown on his lips.

“Yes.. I am traveling to Lyon for an engineering conference for spring break, but I will be going to Paris via train for my flight?” She exclaims with a giddy smile.

Her words paired with her excitement makes him think of last year when they watched the Hollywood golden-era classic, Sabrina. “자기.. Paris is not meant to be an exit flight..”

“I don’t have the money to stay longer.. Paris is expensive.” She pouts before shrugging. “Traveling like a native and then to the airport is enough for me!”

A slight frown settles into Taehyung’s soft features. As much as he loved her, he sometimes wished that she would depend on him more. For lack of a better word, he wanted to be needed. It were times like this when he wondered if she would always be a immobile rock evading his offers. “You should experience Paris properly for your first time.. with me.”

“With you?” She asks in surprise. “But what about your practice and preparations for the new album?”

Taehyung shakes his head. “We are getting a two week break.. I can just work a bit more now and I can meet you after the conference, my sweet engineer.” He is shy as his boxy smile comes into view. “We always talked about backpacking across Europe, right? Let’s start in Paris and go wherever the wind takes us.. and be spontaneous.”

Spontaneous was definitely a word to describe Taehyung. She heard him numerous times to considered doing things with him to be more adventurous; it even led to a few arguments from time to time. 

“Well.. if it is not too much of a burden for you..”

“It is not.” He smiles at her brightly. “It would be so nice for us to spend this time together too.. I miss my tiny little spoon.” He leans his cheek against his palm.

As YN usually disagreed with being a little a spoon, she concedes without a struggle. “Your little spoon misses you too... 오빠.”

“Then let’s do this.” The familiar gleam of mischief that she has always loved has reached his eyes once more. The anticipation is rising. “How does that sound?”

“I’ll start packing.” YN concedes with a wide grin. Paris and Taehyung? It’s a love story for the ages.

The warmth of a lover is the most fulfilling experience in the world. For others, it may be success and money, but such things can be replicated time and time again. The effects of true love are unwavering and everlasting in ways that no dictionary in any language can attempt to emulate. This much passion and fortitude remained elusive to be defined, but YN knew that she felt it.

Her heart was beating loud in her ears as she sat on the bed of their hotel room; the key to their shared suite living her heart in circles. She was greeted with rose petals on the bed and a small card from Taehyung that made her wonder if they were soulmates that transcended time. It were the little things like this that made her realize their love was eternal.

자기야 (Honey) 

I can’t wait to see you tonight. I seriously haven’t been able to sleep at all, thinking about what this next week has in store for us.. I’m so happy that you’re letting things go as they do. I’ll be there soon. This first night, let’s rest. Tomorrow? We run!

나는 너를 사랑해. 보라해💜 (I love you.)

너의 김태태 (Your Kim Taetae)

She smiles down at the card and plops down onto the fluffy comforters. Taehyung never filled to fill her lungs with roses and make a garden blossom for him. It were times like this when she realized the deepest realization of love was embodied by him. Her Taehyung.

Falling for Taehyung on that winter night in 2016 was the first time that she learned to go with the flow and follow her heart. Apprehension was a common practice when it came to her distinguishing the crush from mere admiration, but once she let it settle.. it began to grow into eternity. It did not fester and cool like the raisin in the sun she worried it would be.

“어... 왜 그래? 자기?” The familiar deep timber whispers, sending tingles down her spine as she shakes away from her daydream to be met with chocolate orbs. He sends her a smirk, clad in his mahogany brown day coat and black beret. He knew Parisian fashion like an atelier at Chanel. 

Her heart instantly flutters as she pulls him on top of her to take him into a tight hug and steals a kiss from his soft lips. “Taehyung!”

“What were you thinking about? You didn’t even hear me come in.” He chuckles into her ear as he settles all of his weigh on her with a smile. His fingers toy with the bow of her white sundress absentmindedly. He had missed her so much that he felt light headed just being around her. He was on cloud nine. With his girl. 

YN blushes as she takes off his beret to place it on her own head and strokes his hair. He lays his head on her chest, holding her in his arms. “I was thinking about how lucky I am to be with you.. you’re the man of my dreams, you know?”

“어?” Taehyung turns slightly red at the confession. “And not Park Hyunsik-ssi?” He teases, knowing the many occasions she fawned over his hyung while they watched his drama. 

YN giggles, “Yes. You have all that I want..” She begins to caress his cheek as he places a kiss on her clothed tummy. “The fact.. the fact you came all the way to Paris and we are going to spend the next week together backpacking makes me excited.”

“I can’t wait for our cottage in the Netherlands. I finished the reservation this morning,” He confesses while stroking her hip. “If we could.. maybe.. maybe we could extend our trip?”

“I wouldn’t say no to that.” YN doesn’t miss a beat. Taehyung’s boxy smile spreads across his face as he climbs up to kiss all over her lips in appreciation.

Taehyung smiles as he pecks her lips quickly. “Let’s drink some of the champagne and spend tonight coolly. I want to enjoy this. And you.”

“We should shower first...” she agrees with a smile as she wraps her arms around his shoulders to peck his lips. “I can order the room service too. Strawberry cheesecake?”

“And steak.” He chuckles as he thinks of their fruit: strawberries had been a deciding factor for the two of them. “I’ll head in now.”

“Mmm~.” She sing songs to him before brushing her nose against his. 

Two showers, one call to the front desk, and a knock at the door later, the two lovers sit across from each other cross legged as they feast on steak, potatoes, chocolate covered strawberries, and champagne. It is nothing short of a midsummer night’s dream and a memory that neither of them had wanted to get. The lilting tone of Sarah Vaughn plays in the background as YN listens intently to Taehyung talk about the latest episode of Adventures of BTS. He was so talkative when he was excited about something.

“And Jimin-ah! He could tell that Yoongi-hyung was falling a bit behind so he decided to stop walking. It’s a surprise that hyung had tolerated this much from us.” Taehyung laughs as he takes a sip of his accompanying soft drink, Coca Cola, while smiling. It was rare that he felt this comfortable when someone outside of Bangtan or his family, but this was why he loved YN. He felt safe and secure and he knew that her commitment to him was unwavering just as his was to her. “I’m talking too much about them.. aren’t I?”

YN shakes her head with a giggle. “Tae.. I know how much you love them. I don’t mind.” She beams as she steals another chocolate strawberry despite Taehyung whining earlier about wanting the dark chocolate one.

“Yah! You are just saying that to eat all the dark chocolate ones.. you haven’t even touched the white ones.” His smile crinkles up into moon crescents are how much of a baby she was. He always liked how youthful she was. It was reinvigorating for him to be unapologetically himself with someone who did the same.

YN is chewing on the tarty delicacy, “What? Ngh, no-“ She says as she pops another in her mouth. Taehyung only stares at her blankly for a moment before the smile returns to his face.

“Since you look cute wearing my shirt as you eat my food, I will let it slide.” He says with small chuckle. His free hand taps against the small nightstand table that they had turned into a restaurant platter. 

YN shifts in the ribbed chair and leans forward. “Then let me feed you!” She bats her lashes in her particular way that makes Taehyung go weak in the knees. She takes the initiative to bring her chair closer to his and leans forward, “Say Ahh~”

“Ah~” He song songs to her back to her in perfect key as his mouth makes a circular shape. His eyes are large and doe-like when they make eye contact. Her heart flutters like the first time.

YN picks up a medium-sized strawberry dipped in chocolate and brings it to his mouth for him to bite into it. The action is so innocent, but Taehyung aims to tease his baby whenever he can. He purposely bites into the tart fruit so that the juice coats her her fingers and his mouth before taking her fingers to lick the access chocolate-infused strawberry residue.

“Delicious,” He whispers as his eyes never leave hers. He knew how easy it was to charm her. She was wrapped around his finger.

YN bites down on her lip. If it were not for his teasing nature, she would have been perplexed by the blatant act of submission from him. The two of them often tried to outdo each other, but Taehyung’s strength and habit of spanking had considerable influence. “Do I taste good?”

“Show me.” He plays along, but he raises a brow knowingly as though to provoke her. The reaction his sly move elicits comes in the form of her returning her gaze back to her steak and bubbling on it shyly. His baby.

A few glasses of champagne later, Taehyung is tipsy. Despite not being one for alcohol, there was a certain charm about champagne and the girl that he loved that made the night all the more wondrous. Her presence in itself was intoxicating, but the sparkling alcohol softened the edge.

“Let me show you a trick, jagi.” Taehyung chirps to her as he opens the bottle with his signature move. It takes a mere flick of the wrist and a smug grin to make her laugh at how dorky, but cute he was. “Was Oppa cool?”

“Mmm. Was he?” YN likes to tease him, tapping her cheeks. She had no interest in drinking, but she was always eager to look after Taehyung if the time was right.

The lack of a compliment makes his lips pout; the small action complementing his hair that falls over his eyes. “You don’t think Oppa is cool?” His voice becomes higher in tone and he squeezes her hand to pull her closer. 

It was rare, but seeing Taehyung as a clingy boyfriend threw her heart into triple time. His grip on her hand was light, but still firm when he pulls her close and holds her in his arms. “Oppa.. I think you are cool..”

“아? 맞아요?” He asks with a small grin spreading across his face as he admires her soft features. The little debbtails about her are endearing and makes him want her even more. He giggles - a rare feat that he feels only with her. 

“오빠가 예뻐요.” YN whispers to him as she pecks his lips faintly. It is the times like this: when YN is in his lap and her arms are wrapped around his shoulders in a tight embrace that he feels the safest. 

The compliments makes him turn even more red and his face scrunches up into the sweetest arrangement possible. “아이고... 하지마..” The satoori drawl is evident when he speaks; the Standard Seoul accent that he picked up after years of living in Seoul gone from how flustered he feels. 

“My baby boy is so pretty,” She presses on while stroking his cheeks gently. Each touch leaves a trail of scarlet and Taehyung thinks he might faint from how charming she is. “Oppa is my baby boy.. right?”

Under normal circumstances, he would never give in to being her baby boy. He liked to think of himself as her protector, her lover, the one who was her equal and caregiver. He had been raised where the man always took control and stepped up to the plate when necessary, but taking a break from that was something he liked to do once in a while. Especially with her. 

“맞아..” he whispers into her chest so that he can hear her heartbeat. It beats to the same cadence and he wonders if he has ever felt this alive before. 

YN smiles alluringly in his direction and begins to push his hair back from his forehead to kiss his hairline. “Are you tired baby? We can rest-“

“No! I want to be awake for every moment with you.” He whispers as he nuzzles his face between her breasts before looking up at her. “I want to do something fun.”

YN hums, “Something fun?” This earns her a quick nod. “How about this.. remember the Van Gogh paint set I bought? Let’s work on that!”

His eyes immediately light up and he nods. He had been eyeing the set earlier, but figured waiting until Seoul when YN was no longer there would remind him of the lovely excursion in Paris. “Let’s do that!”

The excitement Taehyung feels bubbles through him as he carries her to the bed and then rushes to his luggage to take out the set she had tucked away. He moves so fast that his white shirt bunches where his plaid pajama pants begin before walking back to the bed where YN lays in one of his white shirts and briefs. 

“You can do Almond Blossoms and I’ll do Cafe Terrace at night!” He exclaims as he begins to move the table and lay out the protective paper onto the floor.

YN watches him with a smile before rushing to the bathroom to retrieve water for the brushes. “You remembered how much I love Almond Blossoms.”

“I know you love Rococo paintings the most.. and that one reminds me the most of it,” He admits shyly as he lays out the two canvases and mixed the colors eagerly. “Jagi?”

YN gives a noncommittal hum in response as she sits down beside him. “Mm?”

“사랑해.” He whispers as he lays his head in her lap as he stares up at her. “I love you.. so .. so much.” He whispers while kissing her hand.

“I love you too. More than anything or anyone else in this world.” She whispers to him quietly before pecking his forehead. “Let’s paint.”

Taehyung giddily paints with his head in her lap the warm hues that contrast with the cool color to create a nice depth in perspective. Still bubbly, his right hand never leaves her while he paints with his left. The little things like this made him happy that he was ambidextrous.

“You paint so well, Tae!” She exclaims as she looks over from her own painting to take a glance at his. It mimicked the original perfectly and she is reminded of the immense talent that Taehyung has into everything.

Taehyung blushes at the compliment and wraps her hand over his heart. “Do you know how fast my heart beats whenever you say things like this?” 

“I say it from my own heart to yours.” She replies with a small giggle as she brushes her nose against his own repeatedly. “I love you~.”

Taehyung giggles as he shifts to paint his initials onto her palm. “Mmm~ and now you are mine.” This prompts her to use her own brush to draw on his cheek.

“And now you are mine!” YN chirps in reply as they both burst into fits of laughter. His heart was racing instantly. “We are even now.”

Taehyung sits up before attacking her with tickles, while still being careful not to ruin the paintings as he climbs on top of her. 

“Tae-taehyung!” She says in a fit of laughter as she holds on to him while trying to get away from him, but she never goes too far.

The next morning, YN awakes from her slumber with Taehyung spooning her tightly. He always was a late sleeper, but he slept like a baby when he did. It makes her happy to see him content when they would exchange their struggles amongst each other in the best way an idol and a student could.

Being the little spoon had its own merits when it came to having warmth and the security of having someone there, but it also proved a struggle when trying to get get out of the bed in the morning. It is even more pressing when Taehyung snuggles himself deeper into her neck with a small whine of “아닌데..”

“Tae.. I have to pee.” She whines in response as she shifts to look at his sleepy eyes. Once more, the pout from last night is there and she remembers the cute displays of aegyo paired with Taehyung’s whining that kept her amused the entire night.

Not one to judge, Taehyung says two words only: “Hold it.” 

She bursts into laughter before squirming out of his embrace and wiggling out of the bed to stand up. “I’ll just order breakfast for us after, okay?”

Taehyung opens one eye of defiance and nods. “Okay.” He says simply as he cuddles the pillow to envision that it is her.

Eating together was the staple of their time together as Taehyung often asked to be fed and desired to feed her at every moment. His love language made him eager to give, but being in the receiving end made him happy too. The little domestic things, such as eating crepes in bed while they talked excitedly about what they should do for the rest of the day set both of their hearts aflame.

“Let’s go shopping.” YN suggests. The three words make Taehyung do a double take. For as long as he had known her, he knew the rarity in YN desiring to shop. “I want to buy you a present..”

Taehyung pouts slightly. “Yah.. I don’t want you to spend your money on me.”

“Tae.. I am buying you something.” She chirps as she feeds him another crepe and leans forward to wipe the powder from his upper lip. 

Not to be outdone, Taehyung holds up his finger. “On one condition.. I buy you something too.. I have a date planned for us tonight and you need a new dress.”

“A new dress?” She raises a brow to her hairline. Being in Paris was one thing, but with the style that Taehyung had, the dress would no doubt be a more than a month’s salary.

“Let me spoil you... please?” He asks in a soft tone as he takes her hand in his and kisses the back of it. “You will love it. I promise.”

Always one to give in, she only nods when he sends her his boxy smile. “Fine..”

Unbeknownst to her, Taehyung knew that tonight would be one to forever change their lives. Tonight was the night that he would propose to her and she would be his forever. The cross between lover to fiancée was what he anticipated the most each time he thought of the diamond ring burning a hole in his suitcase.

“I think you look beautiful,” Taehyung says as he loops his fingers into the fabric of the little black dress. The pout on her lips is evident from the knowledge of the price tag. She knew Taehyung and his appetite for fashion knew no bounds, but this?

YN turns slightly red as she looks in the mirror to turn slightly. “You really think so? The price.. Ah..”

“You don’t have to worry about it.. do you know how happy you have made me these passed three years as your boyfriend? No monetary amount can be put on that.” He whispers in her ear as he snakes his arms around her. “You look absolutely beautiful..”

“When did you learn to speak so prettily?” She asks with a visible pout as they sway from side to side. He has long discarded his tan jacket to feel more of her warmth.

Thank the heavens that the personal shopper had sensed the emotions running rampant and took an exit stage left.

“I wanted to sound like a native speaker.. you started learning Korean too.” He chuckles into her ear as he pulls back to spin her around. “I think you look amazing.. you have to wear this tonight.”

YN hums in reply, “Oh? You like this that much?”

“I love it,” He says with a small grin. The dress was simple, yet elegant. It was her style and complimented the more bold choices that Taehyung wore. “It’s classy and chic... just like you.”

YN turns to face him and bites her lip. “Sometimes it feels like you do all the giving and I just receive.. you wouldn’t even let me buy you that scarf from Gucci.”

“Jagi, I told you I don’t want you spending your money.” He whispers as he strokes her cheek gingerly. “Besides, your curves look amazing in this dress.”

YN plays with the hem of the dress. “I’m surprised you chose this one.. you are usually more.. traditional.” She raises a knowing brow.

“It’s only because I know you will look better without it on.” He whispers into her ear before clicking his tongue. His tone drops a single octave, making her feel weak in the knees as he tilts his head to the side. 

YN stares into his eyes, instantly detecting the seduction he was doting out for her. The tension was real and never was it more prominent when his hand danced along her thigh. “Then make haste on your promise.”

“We’re done shopping here!” Taehyung exclaims as he is greeted with the familiar Coco Chanel mnemonic. 

“Wow,” is all that Taehyung can say as he watches YN step out of the bathroom. For years, he had seen her as his darling girlfriend with the adjective ‘adorable’ enshrined with every thought of her. The allure of her charms manifested whenever she taught him something new, such as the sun’s ray of light is only what we feel eight minutes after it has passed, or her being flirty while toying with his hair and calling him his favorite honorific. However, this? The level of beauty that she was presenting to him was transcendent and left him resorting to the darkest parts of his desires. 

And who was he to say no to them?

YN feels a bit confident when she sees the surprised look on Taehyung’s face. She watches as it contorts from surprise into a look of satisfaction with the slightest hint of smugness. “I look good, don’t I?”

“So good,” He whispers as he crosses the path to snake his arms around her to draw her flush against his chest. “Almost do not want to leave here.. What if we just stay here?” He asks while pulling her to his lap and toying with the excess fabric of the dress. It’s amusing to him how it hugs her in all the right places and is reminded of what he has always known. She is beautiful both inside and out.

YN laughs, “The restaurant you booked for us will not take kindly to your cancelling.” She jokes playfully as she smooths out his blazer and pecks his lips. “Which… you still have yet to tell me which one it is or where it is?”

“Because I know you and that you would micromanage every detail and I can’t have my little jagi doing that~” He sing songs to her with a small smirk pressing on his lips. “Just now that we are not overdressed and tonight is going to be perfect.” And he means every word of it.

The drive to Le Jules Verne is nothing short of eventful, just as everything has always been when it comes to Taehyung. He could barely keep his hands off of her; the moment the taxi driver arrived, he was snaking his arms around her waist to hold her close and drawing small circles over her thigh absentmindedly. The nibbles along on her ear led to the string of giggles that never seemed to end the more that he kissed her and the caress against her bum was enough to make her turn red and whine to him the the taxi driver would see.

Taehyung could care less.

Tonight would be the night that he would pop the question, completely unbeknownst to her. He knew that Paris was the place for lovers, the place where reality and fantasy intersected in the west way possible. He also knew of her eagerness to practice her French while turning back to look at him and ask, ‘Did I look cool?’ as he smiled back to her in reassurance. Just seeing her smile was enough to bring him to his knees, but the way that she loved him ardently and never sacrificed what they had for the thoughts of others - that was what made him get on one knee to propose.

Their relationship had not been an easy one. Time and time again, insecurities flared during the long periods apart. Furthermore, despite ARMY being very loving and accepting in general to any and all of the loved ones that Bangtan adored, there had been many who loathed her with a passion and wanted to depreciate their love for each other with every possible excuse. Hoards of ARMYs swearing she did not love him enough when she did not attend a Korean university to be nearer to him. A long list of people complaining how she spent only the summer in Seoul for the sole purpose of keeping Taehyung away from the fans and the sole reason for his frowns when the smiles did not appear fast enough in interviews. The worst of it all had been them flooding her social media with hate comments, demeaning her personality, looks, and intellect to the point where private seemed the only viable option and even that opted for screenshots of her (rare) stories.

The fights had been terrible, especially when Taehyung began to question if she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Her worries of ‘not being good enough’ often fostered in her offering to set him up with other people or ‘let him go to find someone to make him happier’. His own insecurities began to flourish when she admitted that she did not turn to him first when it times of need and it festered when she told him that he no longer made her happy: nothing did. 

Nevertheless, the two persevered to be where they were now: Paris in the springtime. With his fingers entwined with hers while walking through the entrance of the Eiffel Tower to the second floor haute French restaurant, nothing could compare to the giddiness he was feeling. He is keenly aware of the coruscating lights that dot the beautiful structure, the epitome of Paris, and how bright her eyes look when she sees it It was her first time. It was her first time and she was able to experience with him.

“It’s.. It’s beautiful!” Her voice almost falls completely silent while staring up at the breathtaking structure built of iron widgets and the soul of France. Years of imagining her life in the romantic city is more than enough to bring her to tears and she covers her mouth. “Taehyung..” She whispers chastely as she turns to him.

Taehyung sends her a small boxy smile, just as he always had. The reliability of his grin was more than enough to make her feel more secure than ever. He does not budge when she throws herself into his arms and kisses the top of her forehead repeatedly. “I’m so glad that I get to experience your first time here… You look so beautiful when you’re happy.” He whispers as he shifts to peck her lips, “Now.. let’s get inside and we can walk around a bit more. Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She smiles warmly as she holds on to him tightly with a fluttering heart and they make their way up the stairs and to the elevator.

After ordering their finest wine and the specialty, YN is left under the watchful eye of Taehyung. His stare was dark and alluring as he initiated hooky under the table. There was nothing that he loved more than to see her flustered because of him. There was something endearing about the way she was innocent to his dark desires.

Sexual encounters were not a forgotten moment for Taehyung the few times that they happened. The chemistry was there, no doubt, when his hand ghosted over her hip and he gave her the look prior to his voice octaves dropping. Her soft voice murmuring Oppa was more than enough for him to lose all control.  

“You’ve been staring at me,” YN murmurs with a blush as she brings the caramelized onion to her lips. 

Taehyung chuckles as he looks at her and unbuttons his suit as he returns back to his coq au vin. “It’s hard for me not to.. you look breathtaking tonight, just as you always do.”

His words send a flame across her cheeks and she finds herself growing even more shy in the process.

“I don’t think I will be able to control myself tonight.” He confesses after a sip of champagne and leans forward. “I couldn’t stop thinking about our time in Seoul.. after the final concert.” 

She did not know that it were possible, but she becomes the definition of red. She knew exactly what he meant: the concert adrenaline has rushed through Taehyung the night as he brought her back to his hotel room and ate her out for hours. He even refused to let her reciprocate after tugging at his hair repeatedly from the overstimulation. He let her fuck his face until she cried and murmured something about it not being the last time before falling asleep. 

 “I remember how pretty you sounded.. moaning 오빠 like the good girl you are. I even taught your stubborn self manners..” he drawls as his knee parts hers with a seductive purr. “I bet you’ll sound even prettier tonight.”

It takes everything in YN to not choke in reply to words of a siren. That was what Taehyung was, eager to make her his and submit to him. “I think it’s time you sound pretty too.”

“I want to.” He deadpans once his wine is finished and nods for the waiter to bring their dessert. “Let’s have dessert on the patio.”

“Patio?” YN asks with furrowed brows prior to dabbing the napkin across her lips for any excess residue. 

Taehyung nods as he takes her hand and brings her up. “Yes. We have to go right now.” He sing songs as he guides her to the biggest surprise of her life.

The proposal.

The ground is peppered with pink roses making a makeshift trail as Taehyung walks with their fingers entwines and his head is beating in triple time. Violins greet them with ‘winter bear’ playing lightly in the background to contribute more to the overall serenity. He had meticulously thought of everything by from the strawberry cheesecake dessert in the center of the patio and the flowers surrounding it.  Would she say yes? Surely she would. 

“Taehyung.. is this for us?” She asks, never letting go of his hand as she walks to the table with him and rests her arms in the table.

Taehyung nods as he picks up a fork and lifts a small bite of cheesecake to her mouth to feed her. “It is.. I thought you may enjoy the scenery a bit more.”

“You can see everything from here.. I would have never expected to be blessed with this view.” She confesses with a flustered look on her face. “I mean that ardently.. you make me feel secure.”

Taehyung smiles as he leans his head on her shoulder to feed her more. “I hope that I can always give you that security.. for the rest of our lives.”

“I hope so too.” She whispers as she picks up a strawberry that looks much larger than the others and her brows furrow. “This one is cute.”

His heart races. His ring was placed in the makeshift strawberry: this was the moment. “I think you should cut it, first.”

YN nods as she cuts into the juicy strawberry. She is careful to do so, having already an inkling of where this would be going. Was he proposing to her?

She nearly faints when she sees the silver band in the strawberry and to turns to see a beaming Taehyung. Her voice cracks in her throat, “T-taehyung.”

He sends her a warm smile as he gets down on one knee and he takes his hand out of his pocket. “YN-Ah..”

YN’s own heart is racing faster than ever as she fights back the tears that were beginning to well up in her eyes. “Tae.. Taehyung-Oppa..”

“Since the first moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were someone special in my life.” He begins as he thinks back to the words he spent countless times reciting to sound like a native speaker. “In the beginning, I thought of you as someone who I needed to take care of, to protect, and love, because you were so fragile.”

“But I was wrong.. you were so much more than a girl that I wanted to love. You were your own person and you never let me or anyone else dictate your life... I was never your only goal.. you loved me for me and continued to be yourself authentically whether or not it the outlook was pretty.” He licks his lips as his grip on the forehead velvet box tightens. “We had our own ups and downs, but that was what made us stronger. I showed you the ugliest parts of myself and you did the same. We learned to love each other as people first and then lovers.”

“They say love is blind and can change your perception of the world if you are not careful, but my vision became perfect when it came to you. You learned to read my emotions, understand the little things about me that I did not understand myself, and reminded me what it meant to be Kim Taehyung, not V. You gave me the normalcy that my job took away.. you even gave me that card.” He laughs as he tried to think of the name. “Bend.. bend a.”

She can’t help but smile with the way he looks at her knowingly. She always would correct him. “Ventra.. and you loved the CTA.” She laughs in the midst to stop herself from being on the brink of tears. How could he be charming even while cracking a joke? 

“The experiences we have had together helped me grow.. the times I felt isolated and alone, you were there to be strong even when you struggled too.” His thoughts drift back to her wiping away her own tears to console him, the reassurance that he needed was given to him. “You taught me how to be strong.. you taught me how to continue to go on when I no longer could fight anymore because as long as I had you, I had someone worth fighting for.”

“My parents.. they love you.” He says with a small grin on his face. “My family has been the only consistent entity that I have had since I became an idol. That was what I thought until I met you. You even began to learn Korean just to communicate with us at family dinner.. when you did that, I knew that I needed you as my wife.” 

“The sacrifices you’ve made to be with me have been great and not once have I ever thought of taking them for granted. Jagi.. you’re one in a billion and I am never going to let you go.” He smiles warmly. “I love all your little habits. I love how you overplan everything and even included me in them.” This earns him a shy chuckle. “I like how you treat Yeontan like our baby and swaddle him despite him hating it.. I like when you wake up at six in the morning to bake me cakes just because you feel like it.. the times you smile without reason and how infectious your laugh is.”

“It is the way you ask me about little decisions just to remind me that my opinion matters and how you keep me grounded.” He has to bite back his lip. “When I felt like giving everything up, you put my head in your lap and held me as I cried. You told me that you would always be there for me and that you would love me no matter what my decision was. I learned you loved me for me when I could not love myself that way.”

“So with this ring, I am asking you to not only be my wife, but to continue being my best friend, the mother of my children, and soulmate until our last breath. I will love you until the day I die.. for.. I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow.. so YN LN. will you marry me?” 

YN is brought to tears when he finishes. The trip down memory lane has made her feel all the more tied to him and she never wants to let go of him, ever. “Yes.. yes.. a million times yes!” She says as Taehyung stands to his full height and places the ring onto her finger.

“사랑해.” He whispers into her ear as he kisses her deeply. He wants to transmit every bit of emotion that he feels for her into the kiss with a shaking heart. He wants her to know that she is his first and his last. “정말 사랑해.  난 절대 널 떠나지 않을 거야.” he whispers quietly into her ear and rubs the small of her back.

(trans. I love you so much.  I never will leave you. )

After the engagement, the two lovers spent a few moments admiring the view of the Eiffel Tower for a few solemn moments. It was in this moment that they felt infinite and that the world could not throw anything in their way to stop their happiness. How many people were blessed to find their soulmate? Their better half? And all without compromising themselves as people? It was transcendent.

The ride back home goes off without a hitch; the two eagerly embracing each other in every way possible in the backseat as their emotions begin to bubble up. They had taken it to the next level: engaged to be married! 

“I want you so bad,” He whispers into her ear with a grunt in the elevator as his hand finds chase on her thigh. All he can think about is making love to her as his fiancée. The dress wraps around her curves like a glove and he thinks she will look so much better without anything on. “Want your pretty mouth moaning my name as I eat you out.”

She gasps as he presses her against the mirrored elevator with his face buried in her neck to leave a hickey. Taehyung had a terrible habit of marking her, especially where anyone could see. She once loathed turtle necks, but with his habit, there was no choice but to give in the the made her feel so good. 

“Can’t wait to fill you up with my cum,” He grunts into her ear as he parts her legs with his knee to grind his hard member against her clothed sex. Normally refined, Taehyung was a man starved. “You’re not going to remember any other name but mine when I am done with you, jagi.”

He grips her hips to grind her forward to show how hard he was, “Look at how fucking hard oppa is for you. You like seeing your oppa wanting you?” He does not stop his ministrations when the elevator door opens and guides her to their Parisian suite that he seemed to know like the back of his hand. 

“I love it so much, Taehyung.” She moans as he presses her against the door and fumbles to get the room key from his blazer. The lack of honorific makes him growl before leaving another love bite on her shoulder. “I-I mean oppa.”

He chuckles darkly once the door is open and pulls her in swiftly to pin her against the door. “I guess I have to remind you who you belong to then.. huh?” He asks smugly.

“You’ll look so good with my cock buried inside of you..” He whispers before hoisting her up and carrying her to the bed. He moves at the speed of lightning, kissing along her inner thigh while undoing her shoes without much trouble. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to make love to you? And now I get to do it as my wife.”

“Wife-to-be…” She corrects as he lifts the dress over her hips and makes her sit up.

Taehyung scoffs, “Wife.” He repeats quietly before attacking her with another kiss. His hands roam around her body, focusing on each crevice and curve that entices him more while grinding his cock against her wet sex. She was practically dripping when his fingers slipped between her satin underwear. “You’re so wet for me already?”

“Mmm.” She moans while looking at him, “Let me take care of you first.. oppa.” 

Her purr makes Taehyung stop for a moment. As a man who loved to be in control, he did not want to stop himself from eating her out for hours and then thrusting into her tight cunt for the first time. Yet, the offer is far too enticing when he remembers how her pretty lips look wrapped around his cock and he can’t say no.

So he doesn’t. 

Taehyung rolls off of her to admire how she looks in her lacy black bra with matching panties. Every curve of her body is evident and he knows that he has hit the absolute jackpot. How could anyone be that intelligent, charming, and sexy? Her worries of always being the lesser in the relationship were ill-founded.

“I bet oppa can’t wait to get his fat cock sucked by his princess, can he?” She provokes him with the vulgar language while unbuckling his belt and tossing it to the side. He sits back, amused, at the seductive sway of her hips. “Lift your hips.”

She does so without problem.

She remains on her knees as she begins to stroke the underside of his cock through his boxers. Her eyes then avert from his nether regions to his eyes with a shy smile, “You should tell me how it feels.”

“And let you know how good you are making me feel? Aish..” He groans, the satoori lacing into his words while grinding his hips into her palm for more friction. “Don’t tease me…. I want to feel how tight you feel around my big, fat cock when you clench so hard around my fingers.”

YN remains amused as she rests an elbow on his knee and lets her head rest on her left hand, “You like knowing that you’re the only person to be inside of me.. don’t you?” 

“I fucking love it,” He grunts when she flicks her wrist just the way he likes it and it has him jutting his hips slightly more forward in the process. “Want to fill you up so badly… I want to cum inside of you.”

The lewd confession makes her turn red, but it only ignites her confidence to push forward as she tugs his boxers down to her ankles to be met with his standing cock that slaps his stomach. His dress shirt is crinkled and the blazer at his shoulders sags down as he stares at her knowingly.

“Be a good girl and suck my cock, won’t you?” He asks with the tone of a siren. He is alluring in all ways, the dark stare I this eyes and the smug look from looking down at her. It turned him on to see the girl with such high standards and work ethics reduced to his good girl wrapped around his finger. 

And he knew she liked it too.

YN hollows her cheeks as she begins to pump the base of his cock. She can almost feel how wet she is when small moans of pleasure begin go erupt from Taehyung. She loved how his deep voice sputtered with each stroke of her tongue.

“Fuck, fuck, just like that.” He grunts in pleasure as his hips buckle forward to hit the back of her throat. “Such a good girl and all for me.” He rasps before slapping her ass.

Taehyung has to wonder how she’s gotten better at sucking cock for a few moments before he pushes her off when he feels a knot begin to form in his stomach.

“Want to eat your pretty pussy out,” He says as he picks her up and pins her against the satin sheets. Her cheeks flush red at his lewd words and he asks himself how he managed to be so lucky to have a girl like her.

He quickly discards the black lingerie that adorns her skin and he mentally thanks himself for sneaking it in last minute. It hugs her every curve and he only wants more of her. All thoughts of before disappear once he spreads her knees and places an open mouthed kiss over her wet cunt.

“아름다운,” He whispers before spitting onto her cunt and takes her fully into his mouth. The reaction is instantaneous when she nearly folds into two and he laughs in response. It sends a vibration against her clit which only makes it more amusing to him when he has to hold her still. “Baby, stay still.”

Before she can protest, he flicks her clit with his tongue and never looks away from her with such intensity that she feels like she will faint. Kim Taehyung was a force to be reckoned with and she had no qualms learning how to reckon him. He draws figure eights over the hem of nerves to elicit a string of whimpers from her. 

“Tae - tae -taehyung-“ she chokes out when he decides she is to his liking and begins to thrust a finger inside of her tight, wet cunt. 

Taehyung pins down her leg to rest his chin on top of it. “How do you call me properly?”

“Taehyung!” She cries when he adds another finger and thrusts deeper into her. She was so tight that it made him wonder if he would fit.

“Taehyung.. what..” he provokes in a darker tone. “Be a good girl and say it. Just me and you here.” He adds another finger and increases his speed. She’s almost a sobbing mess when he purposely brushes against her g-spot. “자기~.”

She squirms more in his embrace to cause more friction, but it is to no avail. “Taehyung.. 제발..”  she whimpers to him. “오빠..” she cracks.

“Good girl,” Taehyung whispers before curling his fingers inside of her and soon she completely becomes putty in his arms. She cums all over his fingers, her hips still twitching with he brushes the inside of her folds. “괜찮아?” 

YN nods as her chest rises and falls periodically. “Yes..” she sits up before wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulls him on top of her. “I’m ready,”

“I know you are.” He teases as he shows her the white substance that coats his fingers and licks it slowly. “You taste like you’re ready too..”

“I want to be on top.” She says before using all her pressure to climb on top of him. Despite knowing her nature, it still throws Taehyung for a loop. 

Taehyung thinks she’s sexy when she takes charge. He likes it even more when she lets him guide her hips onto his throbbing cock that was beginning to drip precum . 

“I’m on the pill,” YN says with a blush on her cheeks. 

Taehyung chuckles for a moment as he continues to stroke the base of his cock for a few moments with the remainder of her cum. “So you knew this would happen?”

“No.. I just thought..” she turns as red as a tomato.

“I’m not really a fan of condoms.” Taehyung confesses with a chuckle. “So I like the idea of fucking your tight pussy raw.. but I’ll pull out just to be sure.”

“Mmm,” she nods as she finally sinks down so just the head of his cock was pressing against her folds. “Fuck..”

“You can take more..” Taehyung coos as he pushes her hair behind her shoulder to begin leaving kitten licks across her collarbone. 

“I can.. you’re so big..” she whimpers as she places her hand in his shoulders to take more of him. Taehyung has to take a sharp breath when she clenches around him so hard. She wasn’t even at half of his cock yet and he felt like he was seeing stars.

Taehyung smiles at her, “Your pussy is all wet and tight.. just for me, yeah?” He asks with a click of his tongue. He was growing a bit impatient with this; how could he focus when she was clenching around him so tightly?

“Shit..” she whispers one last time before sinking onto his cock completely. Her walls cling around taehyung tighter than ever, making him want him to take all of her.

“Can I thrust up?” He asks, eager to move. She felt so good around him that he struggled to keep his self control. 

She gives him a commital hum of approval, “Mm,” She can barely think straight when his hands up both of her hips to piston his hips deeper into her tight sex. She can feel his pulsating cock as it begins to fill her walls, “Fucking hell Taehyung-“

“You sound so pretty when you take my cock like the good girl you are,” He rasps prior to slapping her ass. His grip only tightens with each thrust; each of his actions only embolden when he hears her soft mewls of pleasure. “Who knew you were a good cockslut for me, huh, baby?”

“Oh - shut up -“ She can barely choke out the words when Taehyung brushes against her g-spot ever so slightly.

What a fucking tease he was.

Taehyung is not fairing any better than her, especially not when her walls clench around his throbbing cock. As generous as he is, it’s hard for him to not chase after his own high when she makes him feel this good. He seriously thinks he must have saved the country in his past life to have all of her to himself.

“Just like that, babygirl. You feel so tight around me. I bet you’ll be cumming all over my fat cock soon. Huh?” He remarks cockily as his fingers find her clit to draw figure-eight’s on the sensitive bud. She nearly doubles over from how well he seems to know. 

Each time he thrusts into her, he bottoms out inside of her to the point of no return. “T-taehyung-“ She stammers out, “I’m close-“

“Fuck, me too baby.” His voice lowers an octave from the pleasure that was soon to arrive. “Can’t wait to cum all over you,”

His thrusts become quicker in speed as he repeatedly begins to hit her g-spot; each time sending her into another wave of pleasure. Her hips ritochet from how good it feels.

“I’m c-cumming,” She chokes out as her arms wrap around his shoulders, holding him tighter from the impending euphoria. No one even came close to making her feel this good. Ever.

Smirking, Taehyung knows all too well. “You can’t wait for me like a good girl, huh?” It’s a shock that his voice manages to stay stable when his cock is seconds away from exploding with pleasure. “I’m close too baby-“

“Fu-fuck!” She stutters out with another thrust of Taehyung’s hips into her wet core before she soon cups all over his cock. She wilts into his arms while lazily lifting her hips to the same cadence of Taehyung’s pistoning hips.

The wind is nearly knocked out of him as he pulls out of her quickly as his own high rapidly rushes toward him. Her pussy was so wet and tight that it was milking him for all that he had, “Fuck-“  He grunts as he pumps his cock once, twice, three times before spilling onto his stomach.

Only the sound of heavy breathing fills the suite as Taehyung pulls her close into his arms and kissing her temple. 

“You’re sticky,” She whines with a pout as Taehyung only laughs in response.

“You should help me clean up.” He provokes with a brow raise at the girl. 

Never one to back down from a challenge, she only rolls her eyes in faux disapproval. “You know where that will leave us..”

“I do,” He whispers as he stares into her eyes with that longing look of his he had always sent her. “It’ll leave us together. Here. In Paris,” He always had been too romantic for his own good, too romantic for her to say no to any of his ideas.

“And if we end up spending all of our time on top of each other? Instead of actually exploring Paris?” She presses on; the chase was always fun between the two of them. The push and pull only end up right back with one another.

“Mmm. We’ll always have Paris.” Taehyung whispers lazily before closing the distance between the two of them with a full heart and a new petal of lust blooming in his chest.

 -   -    -   -   -

Don’t be a stranger and let me know what you think! Let me know if there should be another part too.

[mercy-burning]

Patch It Up Good - BLURB

I haven’t seen a fic or blurb based on this song yet, so.. being the Swiftie and the whore that I am, I felt it was my civic duty to write this. Also, please go listen to False God if you haven’t already. It’s a must.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader and Spencer patch things up after a fight. Category: Smut + a dash of angst (I promise it’s not bad!) Content/Warnings: Mentions of a past argument, oral sex (male receiving) Word Count: 964 (not including lyrics)

“I know heaven’s a thing / I go there when you touch me, honey / Hell is when I fight with you. But we can patch it up good / Make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness / got the wine for you.”

Seeing her sitting delicately on the couch like that, two glasses of wine in front of her on the coffee table and her body wrapped in pink silk, never failed to bring him to his senses. Especially this time around.

"I... I didn't think you'd be here when I got back."

She fiddled with the hem of her thin robe as she took him in. He'd obviously been crying, and the thought made her stomach twist.

"And you can't talk to me when I'm like this / Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you / You're the West Village / You still do it for me, babe."

"Spence... No matter what you say, I... I don't think I could ever really leave you. Not when your love is pretty much the only thing I've ever known to be true."

He started making his way over to her, dropping his bag on the ground and kicking off his shoes.

She waited for him to say something, but truthfully he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. This fight was bad. He was almost positive she'd be gone when he returned home, and all her things right along with her, but now that she proved him wrong he wasn't sure how he could even begin to move the conversation along. All he wanted, really, was to get to the part where they said sorry and forgot all about the hurt.

But even as he sat down next to her, where there should have been comfort he only found more uneasiness... Insecurity.

He was haunted by the things he said, every venomous syllable chipping away at his heart and making it harder and harder to think straight.

"They all warned us about times like this / They say the road gets hard, and you get lost when you're led by blind faith, blind faith..."

He glanced over at the wine glasses and then back at her. "I get it, though... My job is... It's hard for a loved one to deal with... I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave."

Her hand shook as she gently laid it over his, interlocking their fingers. "But I don't. I... I know it's hard, and it's scary as hell, but... I am in this... For good. I love you, and I will always love you, whether you're here or not." She reached out for the wine then, handing him a glass and offering a smile just as vivid as the crimson of the liquid. "Please, Spencer... Just... Sit with me? Relax, and... let me show you how much I mean that?"

He took the glass tentatively, unsure of what exactly she meant but unable to resist her all the same.

"But we might just get away with it / Religion's in your lips / Even if it's a false god, we'd still worship..."

Spencer took a drink, and Y/N followed suit, right before she leaned in for a kiss.

She was soft in her movements, taking time to convey love and affection and reassurance with every gentle press of her lips. Her tongue followed soon after, tangling sweetly with his as the wine added an extra blanket of dizziness to Spencer's brain.

He felt his worries slowly melting away with every touch. Every kiss, every little moan...

When she pulled away, he whined, which only made her smile before bringing her glass to her lips and downing the rest of the wine. He drank his, too, and in no time the glasses were completely forgotten on the coffee table.

"We might just get away with it / The altar is my hips / Even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love."

Spencer was more than ready to migrate to their bedroom, but before he could even get up off the couch, she pushed him down gently, sinking to her knees and nestling herself between his legs. The heat radiating between them only amplified once she leaned forward and nudged his clothed crotch with her nose, her eyes looking up at him with all the love in the world.

"I love you so much," she breathed, hot air from her mouth causing him to twitch in his pants. "So, so much..."

He was getting restless now, his hips jerking up and seeking more friction than she was giving him, a fact at which she hummed amusedly and shifted a little.

"Relax, baby," she whispered, undoing his belt and shimmying his pants down his hips. "I got you... I'm not going anywhere."

Her words, coupled with the way she gripped his hard cock firmly and glided it through her hand had him shuddering instantly. He could hardly keep his eyes open, but if he wanted to keep seeing the look in her eyes, adoring and ravenous all at once, then he'd have to endure.

So he did, making sure to take in every second of what she was doing.

He didn't blink once as he noted the way her cheeks flushed the second she wrapped her pretty lips around the head of his dick. As she bobbed her head slowly and purposefully, he took note of the way her eyes fluttered every time she let him hit the back of her throat. The sounds she made, tiny whimpers covered up by gags and low moans that might as well have sounded out I love you, set a low burn in his chest that would never dim.

And once he tensed and held her head down gently, filling up her throat with his release, she took it all willingly, her thumbs spelling out I'm right here on his legs in the form of soft circles. He opened his eyes just in time to see her swallow it all with her mouth still wrapped around him, her eyes glossy and utterly lovesick.

Seeing her like that, on her knees and giving him all the love in the world, was a huge wakeup call— He ached for her in a way that he never had, and suddenly he wondered why he'd ever doubted her, doubted this...

She was heaven, plain and simple.

And he never wanted to leave.

So Spencer wiped her tears and brought her to his lips, kissing her once more and silently promising to return every ounce of love she'd shown him.

He even went so far as to do it three times.

Permanent Taglist:  @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee @coffeeandendlesswords @usuck @spenxerslut @g0lden-cth @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith @reidyoulikeabook @spencerreid9 @b-a-utiful @jareauswifey  @flipperpenguins @pansexualthing @donald4spiderman @awesomebooklover17​ @shemarmooresfedora @izraahh1 @bakugouswh0r3 @singularityjc @xoxospencerreid

TAGS NOT WORKING: @thatsonezesty13 @ayla-1605 @big-galaxy-chaos

If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

[no-pucks-given]

NILS HOGLANDER | SWEET LOVIN’

A/N: I wrote this imagine a few weeks ago for a few of my friends, since Nils is the only player we have in common. I did rewrite some parts today so I could post it on here as well. It’s just some ‘feel good’ smut with a message. 

Warnings: A bit of angst and some talk about insecurities, sweet and soft Nils, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, some swearwords, and some more sweet and soft Nils.

Word Count: 3.8K

It’s hard dating a NHL player, every move they make, every step they take gets noticed by someone. Every mistake, every misstep gets noted down by someone. It’s tough to always be in the spotlight, especially for their relationships and family. You struggle with the amount of negativity you read on the internet about Nils, but also about you and your relationship. You know, oh you know you shouldn’t read anything they write. You should probably just stay clear of social media at all. It makes you feel insecure, and you know it’s stupid, but you can’t help yourself.

Of course there are also a lot of positive notes to read, but it almost seems like you only pick up the negative ones. It’s almost like you enjoy torturing yourself, even though that’s not true at all. You hate it, you absolutely hate it, and yet you can’t stop yourself from getting sucked into the negativity every time. Reading negative things about yourself is one thing, but hearing them in real life is a whole other category.

Today is one of those days. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, you didn’t want to hear anything at all, but you did. You try to shrug it off, but luck isn’t on your side today. The girls follow you into the bathroom, still talking about Nils, about you, and about your relationship. You walk into the first stall you see, locking the door behind you. You try to catch your breath, keeping the tears at bay. There’s no way you’re going to cry with those girls around, you just can’t let them get to you that easy.

You brace your hand on your chest, trying to calm down your racing heart. Your head falls back against the door, slow breaths in and out. As soon as you feel like you have at least some of your composure back, you open the door. You lock eyes with one of the girls, who simply smirks at you. She turns to one of her friends, nodding her head towards you. “I told you she isn’t anything special,” she laughs, her eyes raking over your body. The other girls join her laughter, before turning their backs towards you.

You had no intention of running out, or letting these girls win, but they hit you with the one thing you’re most afraid of. What if you aren’t enough for Nils? What if he finds someone else? Someone better? You freeze, all of your insecurities hitting you at once. Afraid to fall apart right now and there, you turn around, bolting out of the bathroom.

There’s absolutely no way you’re staying here a minute longer than necessary. You came here to study, not to have a mental breakdown in front of all these people. It takes you exactly 3 minutes to pack up your stuff, pay your bill and make your way over to your car. The moment you sit down you drop your head on your steering wheel, letting the tears fall freely.

At some point you calm down, your insecurities still on the surface of your mind, but you know now those girls just tried to get under your skin. They tried to get some sort of reaction out of you, and you gave them exactly what they wanted. You sigh, shaking your head. It doesn’t matter. You know Nils loves you, you know you’re enough for him. You know it. So why is it so hard to accept it sometimes? Because you’re human, that’s why.

Your mood improved immensely by the time you get home. You see Nils’s car in the driveway, smiling softly at the fact he’s home already. The moment you step through the door you drop your bag to the floor, and kick off your shoes. You walk towards the living room, spotting Nils on the couch. “Hey, baby,” you call out to him. His head shoots up, surprised eyes looking back at yours.

“Hi, babe. You’re back early?” he says, questioning your early return. You shrug your shoulders.

“So, where’s my food?” he asks excitedly, looking around for the bag that should contain his food. You blink a few times, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, trying to remember when he asked for food. Nils spots your confusion, an annoyed sigh leaving his mouth. “Really? You forgot my food?” Nils sighs, hand brushing through his hair. “I texted you? Asking if you could bring me some food for after I finished my training?”

At this point you’re just annoyed, if he wanted food he could’ve called. Hell, he could’ve gotten food himself. “I didn’t receive a text, so obviously I didn’t bring you any fucking food, Nils,” you tell him, your words coming out harsher than you intended to.

He raises his eyebrow at you. “Fucking perfect,” he mutters, turning back around.

You sigh again, before pushing past your pride and past your own emotions. “Do you want me to make you something? I can just quickly cook something for you?” you ask him softly.

“Don’t bother, y/n,” he simply tells you, continuing his game.

“You know what, Nils? Go bother someone else if you need anything, but leave me the fuck alone,” you spit out, before turning on your heels and stomping towards the bedroom. You hear Nils yell something at you, but at this point you simply don’t care.

You strip out of your clothes, pulling one of Nils’s sweatshirts over your head, and climbing into bed. You just want to be alone for now, alone with your thoughts, alone with your insecurities. Just alone, engulfed in the cosiness of this bed.

After 30 minutes Nils realises you’re not coming downstairs anymore. He didn’t mean to be so annoyed when you forgot his food, it’s just that he’s really fucking hungry. It’s no excuse, but after an excruciating training he was so desperate for some food. He picks up his phone, scrolling through his messages until he finds your name. The moment he opens your chat he knows he made a mistake. There’s no message from him to you asking for food. “Fuck!” he curses. He realizes he fucked up, badly.

Nils makes his way upstairs, knowing damn well you deserve an apology for the way he acted. He quietly opens the door, eyes searching the room for you. He finds you curled up in bed, softly sniffling. Shit, he didn’t mean to make you cry, it’s the last thing he wants. Quietly he slips off his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers.

Gently he pulls back the covers, revealing your curled up body. He crawls in bed behind you, pulling you close to his body. He moves your hair to the side, revealing the soft skin of your neck. He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, leaving a soft kiss behind your ear. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have been so mad at you, especially considering I didn’t send you any message about food,” he whispers against the shell of your ear.

You can’t help the chuckle that escapes through your sobs. “That’s so you, Nils,” you tell him. He chuckles against your neck, sending chills all over your body. “I’m sorry too, babe,” you sigh, “I just had a really shitty day, and I aimed my frustrations at you.”

Nils traces soft circles on your thigh, still kissing the exposed skin of your neck. “Why did you have a shitty day, y/n?” he asks you softly. You try to shrug his question off, but Nils feels there’s more behind it than you let on. “Talk to me, baby,” he murmurs.

You turn around in his arms, burying your head in the crook of his neck. “It’s just that these girls were talking shit about me, about our relationship, and it made me insecure. They made me doubt myself, and wondered if I’m good enough for you,” you mumble, trying your hardest to not relive their words and looks again.

Nils stills for a split second, before rolling over, crushing you under his weight. He wiggles himself between your legs, looking up at you with a serious expression. His hands move up to cup your face, making sure you’re hearing every word he’s about to tell you. “There’s no other woman for me out there, y/n. You are it for me, okay?” He looks at you expectantly, you nod your head at him. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, there’s no one who catches my eye like you do. No one, y/n.” he tells you, his eyes swirling with love, adoration. You listen to every word he has to say, every doubt you had leaving your body.

Nils looks at you, a wicked glint in his eyes, the smirk on his face promises you nothing but mischief. His hands slide from your face towards your breasts, squeezing them softly. “You have the most amazing tits, and I can’t stop touching them,” he says cheekily, giving you one of his boyish smiles. You laugh at his statement, but Nils isn’t done yet. His hands slide down further, cupping your ass in both his hands. “Your ass is so nice, I don’t even have the right words to describe it,” Nils says, squeezing each cheek.

At this point you’re a giggling mess underneath him, enjoying all the things he has to tell you, but mostly enjoying carefree Nils. His hands once again move, this time towards your panties. You gasp when he cups your pussy. “I fucking love your pussy, I can’t wait to bury myself inside of you again,” he groans out, clearly thinking about things that hopefully will happen.

“I love every single part of you, every single part of your body and every single part of your soul. I love it all. Do you know what my favourite thing is?” Nils asks, his eyes locked on yours. You shake your head, while Nils moves his hand towards your chest, putting his palm over your heart. “This. This is my favourite part of you, y/n. Your pure heart, full of love for everyone who deserves it, and maybe even for those who don’t deserve another second of your attention and time. Even though you’ve been hurt so many times, you still love with everything you have, unconditionally. It’s my favourite part of you, because you decided to love me.”

Your chest tightens at all the sweet words Nils tells you, all his love for you showing over and over again. You try to tell him you feel the exact same way, but the words won’t come out of your mouth. Instead you grab the back of his head, slamming your lips on his, hopefully showing him that you love and appreciate him just as much.

Nils groans against your lips, pushing his body further into you. You grind your hips against him, feeling his erection against your core. Nils licks across your bottom lip, softly asking you to open up for him. You comply, your tongue meeting his, swirling and twisting around the other. There’s no battle, no fight for dominance, it’s just simply you and him.

Nils’s eyes find yours, he does this every time you end up in bed, or anywhere else for that matter, every time he needs the reassurance and permission that it’s okay, that he can continue with his plans. It’s such a turn on and he doesn’t even know it. “Can I?” he asks you softly, playing with the hem of your sweater.

“You can,” you confirm, smiling softly at him.

His hands immediately grip the hem of your sweater, tugging it over your head, leaving you in just your panties. His eyes rake over your barely clad body. “I’m going to show you just how gorgeous you are, baby,” he whispers against your lips.

He claims your lips once more, his hand finding your breast. You moan into the kiss when his fingers close around your nipple, rolling the taut bud between them. Your hand moves down to Nils’s erection, but he swats your hand away. You raise your eyebrow in question at him, while he softly chuckles at you. “No, baby. This is all for you,” he says, his head lowering towards your neck. “and maybe a little bit for me as well.”

Nils gently sucks on the skin of your throat, making his way down your body. He makes sure he doesn’t skip any part of you, pampering every single inch of your skin with love and affection. His earlier sweet words, his loving way of caressing your body, drives you insane with need. Need for Nils, need to have him inside of you, need to feel him everywhere.

Your hand grips his hair when his mouth closes around one of your nipples, sucking the bud into his mouth. “Oh god, Nils,” you moan, the sensation moving through your body like lightning. While Nils gives your breasts the attention they deserve with his mouth and hand, he slowly pulls down your panties with his other hand.

His fingers find your dripping core, his thumb circling your clit. “Fuck, baby, you’re so wet for me,” Nils groans out against your chest. You cry out as soon as he pushes two fingers inside of you, engulfing himself in your familiar warmth. Nils moves further down your body, while continuing to fuck you with his fingers.

His lips close around your clit, sucking the soft bundle of nerves into his mouth. You moan out at the sensation, gripping Nils’s hair tightly between your fingers. “Nils, please,” you beg him, not even sure what you’re exactly begging for. At this point it could be anything. You look down at Nils, his face buried between your legs. His eyes locked on yours as he eats your pussy like it’s his last meal.

You pull at his hair, trying to get his attention. “What do you need, y/n?” he asks you, before continuing his torturous ways.

“I need you, Nils,” you mumble, so far lost in the pleasure Nils gives you.

You can feel him smirk against your core. “Soon, baby. First I need you to come for me, okay?” he asks, even though you know it isn’t a question at all. You nod your head, so desperately for some kind of release.

It’s the way Nils murmurs soft praises and dirty words that send you falling over the edge. You come all over his fingers, his mouth, his name falling off your lips like it’s the only thing on your mind.

Nils watches the way you orgasm, he’s sure the blissful look on your face is his favourite part of making you come. The way all your stress, worries, doubts leave your body, he’ll make you come another thousand times if he could, just to see that look on your face over, and over. The way you clamp down on his fingers has his cock throbbing in his boxers. He can’t wait to feel you wrapped around him, to bury himself inside of you again, and again, and again.

He keeps his eyes on yours as he pulls back, fingers slipping out of you. Your mouth falls open as he slips his fingers into his mouth, licking them clean. The wicked glint in his eyes tells you he isn’t finished yet. “You taste so good, y/n,” he says, before leaning forward, capturing your lips with his. You can taste yourself on his lips, on his tongue, everywhere. The experience so intimate, so raw.

Nils breaks the kiss, moving back to sit on his knees. His hand moves over his stomach, slipping underneath the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down enough to free himself from his confinements. His fist closes around his rock-hard erection, thumb spreading the already leaking precum over his tip.

He crawls back between your legs, opening you up wider for him. He braces himself on one arm beside your head, trying to keep his weight off you. His other hand grabs one of your legs, hooking it around his hip. You gasp at the sudden contact of his cock on your core. Nils smirks at your reaction as gently guides his cock between your folds, slowly pushing inside of you.

Inch by inch he slides inside of you, always watching for signs to see if you aren’t comfortable, if you aren’t ready for more. The moment he’s fully buried inside of you, he releases the breath he’d been holding in. “You okay?” he asks softly. You nod your head, pulling his face closer to yours. You press your lips on his, while Nils slowly starts moving inside of you.

Nils keeps his pace slow, deep, embracing every second he can spend with you like this. Connected, lost in each other, it’s never been better than right now. He can’t take his eyes off you, every single moan, every single sigh that leaves your mouth spurs him on to keep things slow, and intimate, relishing every single second spent inside of you. “I’ve never felt more alive, more at home than like this, y/n. Never,” he rasps out.

You wrap both your legs around his waist, allowing Nils to slide even deeper inside of you. He moans out at the feeling, sending chills all over your body. There’s just something about Nils moaning that turns you on more, and more. “You’re my home, Nils,” you tell him, nails digging into his back.

His slow, deliberated motions show you everything words can’t explain. This, the way he makes love to you, means more to you than words ever could. The connection between the two of you goes further than anything you ever felt before, it’s out of this world, absolutely astonishing. This goes further than love, further than lust, further than desire, it’s everything.

Nils brings you closer, and closer towards your orgasm, his thrusts deep, his words soft, sweet, and dirty, the perfect mix. His arm around one of your legs, keeping you even closer to him. You close your eyes, breathing turning erratic. Nils claims your lips once more, swallowing your scream of pleasure, when you finally shatter around him. Never, never felt an orgasm like this, your mind completely mush, while your body feels like it’s on fire. Your eyes roll to the back of your skull, nails digging into Nils’s back so hard, you probably broke skin.

Nils lets himself go as soon as you reach your high, his own orgasm ripping through his body. “Fuck, fuck, y/n,” he groans out, emptying himself inside of you. Nils collapses on top of you, head buried in the crook of your neck. Aftershocks still rock through his body due to probably one of the most intense orgasms he ever had.

Your hand softly brushes through his hair, a content sigh leaving Nils’s mouth. “You okay there, love?” you ask him softly.

A raspy chuckle leaves his throat, before he raises his head. “Fuck, yes. That was mind-blowing.”

Nils rolls of you, crawling out of bed. He makes his way over to the bathroom, giving you a perfect view of his even more perfect backside. Nils catches you staring at his ass, when he looks back to you over his shoulder. He laughs, sending you a wink, before walking into the bathroom. You smile to yourself, how did you get so lucky with him?

Seconds later Nils comes back out of the bathroom with a damp washcloth in his hand. You smile softly at him, when he gently cleans up the mess you both made between your legs. “Thank you, Nils,” you tell him, appreciating his help and care, not only now but always. He shakes his head at you, crawling back in bed beside you.

He pulls you on top of him, arms keeping you close to him. “You don’t have to thank me. I’ll always take care of you, baby, always,” he mumbles against your hair.

“I know, but still. Thank you for showing me I’m stronger than my insecurities, it means a lot,” you mumble against his chest.

Nils sighs, softly placing a kiss on top of your head. “I’ll show you day after day that there’s no one out there like you. You’re special, y/n. I’ll never let you forget that,” he simply tells you, making you smile some more.

You lay on his chest for a while, listening to his steady heartbeat, the soft rise and fall of his chest. Nils grabs your chin, turning your face towards his. He softly pecks your lips, just needing to feel them on his once more, he simply can’t get enough of you. “You have no idea how much I love you, y/n,” he whispers against your lips.

You grin at him, you’ll never get used to hearing those words come out of his mouth. “I do, I absolutely do. You show me how much you care, how much you love me every single day, today is no exception,” you tell him. “I love you, Nils. I love you more than I can tell you, more than I can show you, more than anything in this world.” Nils grins at your words, his strong arms wrapping around your shoulders, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

You giggle at his happiness, while Nils just pampers your face in more, and more kisses. “Stop it, you goof!” you laugh out loud, trying to wiggle out of his arms.

“Never, y/n! Never!” he laughs back at you.

It’s always like this between the two of you. You both love with everything you have, you cry together over stupid things, you fight and make up, but most of all you laugh. You laugh like it’s your final day on earth, like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. His smile makes your whole day, while your smile makes everything seem so simple to Nils.

If there’s one thing you’re absolutely sure of in this world, it’s that Nils loves you with every fibre in his body. He shows you day after day how much you mean to him, how much he loves you, and how much he appreciates you.

You know you’ll never let him go. You know he is the one, there’s no one else out there for you who can compete with Nils. You’re absolutely 100% sure Nils is your soulmate, your best friend, the one you want to grow old with, and you’ll spend every single second of every single day showing him exactly that.