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#now bums me out to see them
biasd · 2 years
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Wonho
Monsta X
Korean
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bunnihearted · 4 months
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📓🕯️🐇🖤
#just a little diary dump:#i've contacted my school therapist again. asked for help regarding anxiety abt schoolwork since i dont get any other treatment#she said she can help me go thru if there are other options since neither psychiatric nor healthcare center will help me#+ she said that she and i can talk abt my anxiety regarding school etc. so in two weeks i'll see her#school starts next week. 4days a week rip... lol thats much for me. a bum. a cellar dweller. i've decided that im gnna go to all my classes#and always work while im there since its harder for me to do it at home. and i will also talk more w my teacher nd ask them for help#then im looking into an online therapy service. it miiight be possible for me to do that. but then i have to contact them and focus on only#1 or 2 issues. in my experience it just doesnt work to go to them and be like everythings bad :(( they wont help u then. i have to narrow it#down for them. nd i'll think i will talk 2 them abt my extreme feelings of loneliness and also my procrastination behavior#but yeah i have no idea if it's possibly bc idk if i can get financial aid for that service. im still in contact w the healthcare center so#i hope she will come to some sort of conclusion nd not just leave my high nd dry (she sent another referral to the persobality disorder -#clinic. even if they rejected the first one. so i'll see)#hmmm yeah. the situation w my sisters is sooooo rough. i hate it. they make me feel so so bad#and the housing situation is roughhhh. it's impossible to get an apartment lol.#so i need to find a way to shut it off and try to not let it bother me#just focus on finishing upper secondary school. nd i've been thinking abt taking out a loan for it and take german/french/spanish classes#instead of doing what im doing now when im actually poor and stressed bc they can choose to cut me off anytime#im meeting my highschool friend on tuesday. she asked if i wanted to hang out for a bit c:#im a bit anxious but like yeah.. it's nice to get out and talk to someone besides my family. which is just my mom lol#i messaged my other old highschool classmate on insta and said i saw her in my neighborhood#she replied but i had lowkeyyy hoped for more... like maybe being able to befriend her T-T but she didnt seem so interested in talking to me#which is ok ofc. it just made me a bit sad bc idk how to make friends and i thought she was rlly nice. but oh well#im rlly sad atm. maybe heartbreak prob. even more sad bc it was my stupid fault but yeah#im still grateful for all that it gave me. nd how i got to experience feelings of warmth nd love nd appreciation i didnt know i could feel#so even if im just contantly heavily sad bc i keep being like oh. i wanna ask this. say that. wonder what theyre up to. etc etc. i just have#to... be sad and just keep going forward#hope and try to not fuck everything else up. even if it feels like... what do all the other things matter when what i rlly rlly wanted got#ruined..... thats life tho. i know. im just so bad at handling life :((#i feel so broken and confused and i hate that i didnt get to be normal and healthy#im so illequipped at dealing w myself nd my emotions nd there seems to be no professional help for me
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technicalthinker · 1 year
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The thing about Rogue One as a movie that even though I do love it, it's a bit in a unique spot. It's from the era when they made Star Wars spinoff movies, which then shifted into making shows instead. It basically has a movie-unique cast, but a tragic ending, but also leads directly up to episode 4 without being structured like part of a trilogy/series.
I've viewed its role as "prequel to episode 4/original trilogy" or potentially "bridge between prequels and original trilogy" but tbh it leans so much towards the original trilogy and has less to do with the prequels that I most often see it as "prequel to ep 4".
But I feel like, after Andor S1 and the announcement of Andor S2 being the last season + leading up to Rogue One; Now Rogue One as part of the star wars franchise has a completely new and clearer role
I feel like tonally it's going to function as a bridge between Andor and The original trilogy, showing where the fight against the empire will end up and lead into. But it will also be a finale of Andor, in a way.
Like Andor so far have been a story of the many faces of the rebellion, but with Cassian as a focus and his arc as a thread throughout. We have watched him at several occasions team up with a new group of characters to accomplish some type of heist/mission (Aldhani and Narkina-5 both kinda fit this).
So when looking at Rogue One through that same lens, it fits so well? Like the movie's use of instantly iconic characters that you only get to know for a short while, that you only get to know through the rebellion and this mission, feels even more like a consistent narrative choice instead of some flaw when seen in the greater context of what Andor is doing. The way we unfairly lose them to the battle against the empire in a way that feels that even feel unfair to us as an audience. Jyn being a mirror to Cassian becomes even clearer, and him inspiring her to rebel and lead (as he did with Kino) becomes even more of a solid characterization.
A good prequel is supposed to make the original thing even better, and Rogue One was that to A New Hope imo. But now, Andor has even become that to Rogue One.
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warlordfelwinter · 7 months
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"The stars will be our bed."
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famewolf · 9 months
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if im being honest and allowing myself to vent a bit about it ... another red flag was when the DM went 'wow i love the detail of your backstory but idk what i can do with it tho ):'
#[static]#it immediately made me feel bad for trying to make a character work with the aesthetic she had given us tbh#i could already tell she didnt seem to be super character story driven so i just made a pretty simple drifter-type#for a post-apocalyptic setting n such and made a group that tied into the whole over-arching premise#i also literally just did bullet points cuz i could tell she wasn't gonna want to read one of the backstories i usually do#and as someone who has mostly dm'd in the past i did my v best to make a character that was super easy for the dm to incorporate in any way#like a solid reason for being there a reason for wanting to adventure with strangers a reason for seeing the mission through no matter what#made a whole small faction and connected them to the overarching theme and plot in multiple ways#wrote down lore and npcs she could use for the faction if she didnt want to make up her own#like all the works and all i got was two sentences back about it ... one of them being like 'cool but i dont like the extra details'#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh#ok im done yelling now i just need to vent for a second#i feel bad for feeling kinda bummed about the experience because this is the first time i got to play at a physical table in years#and i know how hard it is to DM#but also when you come to the table with zero notes for the first session its ... probably gonna be disappointing jkfghdf#i DID have fun however because the party banter was hilarious and it was fun getting to hang out with ppl!#but communication between DM and players was not great#also let me be clear she did like that i made so many connections and hooks into the story and it helped her a lot#she was NOT interested in my character's past like ... jobs or npcs#but also u could just Not say anything about it and just be like 'sweet cool thanks for the info' LMAo
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bhalspawn · 3 months
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got on to Facebook for the first time in awhile and i actually enjoyed seeing how many of my classmates have kids already. im so glad alexis has a 2 kids already that's what you get for telling me i looked ugly with straight hair in 5th grade
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pronouncingitwang · 11 months
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#truly no faster way to make me so so ill than the seol and the seolite diaspora DE tag on ao3. not in a bad way not in a good way either#also last week i hung out w a friend i hadn't seen in a while and we joked about diaspora lit bingo a lot#but yeah idk. the way my sister is reconnecting w her asianness through like. kdramas/cdramas and kpop etc#the way i only have about 4 chinese language songs liked on spotify and they're like#one from the CRA soundtrack two bc i looked up an artist whose photos were on tumblr and who i found hot#and one from my white roommate who's learning mandarin#and i wonder if my parents are like. so bummed that we ignored them and made fun of their shows and music and accents as elementary schoole#and now they see her doing this and me. idk. claiming POCness via something i never engaged with in a way i find satisfactory#or idk. the whole immigrant parents being your passports to your language/culture and once they die it's game over#ESP bc you only ever took enough chinese classes to graduate hs or college no more#and kim kitsuragi is suchhhhhhh an interesting look at that bc like. he is an orphan and he does have zero cultural or language ties to seo#like. he would absolutely dannyamericanbornchinese himself if he could#and i want him to reconnect like i imagine him reconnecting w being asian and it causes feelings of comfort and such in me#but like. he shouldn't have to obviously and#one of the notes of a fic in that tag is from a biracial person who says#I flip between wish fulfillment and scrutinizing the degree Kim 'needs' to reclaim his heritage#and like yeah. yeah. that thing#and idk i don't think there's a distinct chinese-american culture the way that chinese-american cuisine is like. A Thing you know#maybe i'd feel better if there was that#and if there was just one other seolite person in disco elysium but i think kim's racial isolation is purposeful#what is there for me but to idk. reread the joy luck club and have another crisis about it#personal
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anarkhebringer · 8 months
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My mother is twisted and tangled in so many conspiracies she spouts blatant antisemitism then gets upset and confused about what Jewish people have to do with the New World Order bullshit, fucking kill me.
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catboyrightsdefender · 8 months
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im so fucking angry
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mer-se · 1 year
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Something about taking a walk in the sun and then coming home to make a big breakfast with the windows open that makes a bitch want to quit her job on the spot
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shrekshugebadussy · 9 months
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haven’t heard from my dad at all today… very interesting…
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trans-xianxian · 9 months
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found out I don't have a fucking school year job anymore today 😐
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franzfriday · 1 year
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hello!!!! i just got into gankutsuou like february of 2022 and im obsessed hi glad to see you posting again
Hello!!! That is very exciting, I love to see people getting into Gankutsuou this much later from when it originally came out. It just has that charm about it, ya know?
Also, me 'posting again' is relative. I posted once in the past like 2 years??? And now this ask of yours is going to make it twice woah. But nonetheless, it is very kind of you to drop by and leave me an ask :) Basically what I'm trying to say is don't count on me updating again anytime soon. But then again... Maybe I will. Every now and then maybe??? I don't know! Bide your time and hold out hope lol only time will tell.
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duskwingmoth · 1 year
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There was a cottage industry of local (largely unknown) podcasters who just talked about stuff in Portland Oregon 10-12 years ago, in partial response to a big broadcasting takeover that left a lot of them out of a job, and i'm pretty sure that not only are all of them long over, most of them don't even exist on the internet anymore
I'm probably the only person my age who cares and i doubt anybody younger actually knows it even happened
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alienonion · 1 year
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i miss the days when i was completely useless. at least then i could be confident my friends liked me for my personality
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scoreplings · 2 years
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my boyfriend is da best boyfriend in da WORLD btw
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