#now he collects coins and will probably teach you how to shoot

[hauntingmiser]

Finally the last survival goobers

And two pretty cool skins

Also warning for disturbing imagery for chances lore I put up because it's just yeye

[dragons-bones]

FFXIV Write Entry #12: Nock, Draw, Loose

Prompt: tooth and nail | Master Post | On AO3

I don’t know a damn thing about archery, so this is probably riddled with errors, but that’s a worry for editing.

--

When Rereha Reha, at seventeen, threw up her hands, cussed out the Thaumaturge’s Guild, and ran off to Gridania, there were three people who were utterly unsurprised by this: Dancing Heron, her best friend since before either of them can remember; Synnove Greywolfe, her other best friend for seven years; and Janchette Vainchelon, her archery instructor.

(Well, there were four: Rerenasu Kukunasu, her father, but he was disqualified on the technicality that he was surprised it took her that long to realize just how unhappy she was. His little sunbeam was so very good at egging on Synnove’s rebellion from her mother, but did rather more poorly when it came to bucking off Shushuha’s expectations.)

Janchette was, perhaps, one of the finest archers of her generation—or she would have been perceived as such, had she been born to Wildwoods of the Twelveswood, and not a family of Duskwights living on the nebulous scrubland border of the Shroud and Thanalan. She had learned her craft providing for her family, and then working as a mercenary until creaking joints forced her retirement. Unlike some of her merc peers, however, she had been foresighted enough to save the majority of her coin, and she had enjoyed her old family home, now rather more well-to-do than the rough cabin of her girlhood, until a few friends had written to her on behalf of an acquaintance of theirs, whose daughter was keen to learn the bow.

Instructing a rich Ul’dahn merchant’s daughter would probably end up as a fruitless endeavor, but it was coin, and it would break the monotony, and so Janchette had answered Radiant Opal and Towering Sentinel’s letter, and made her way to Ul’dah.

Little Miss Rereha was all of thirteen when Janchette met her and exactly what the elezen had expected: pink hair pulled into a bun secured with a jeweled hairstick, the dark skin of her face soft and blemish free from a regimented care routine, hands lacking calluses, and wearing a pretty sky blue frock embroidered with mariposa lilies and acacia flowers. She had been starry-eyed and bouncing on her toes; apparently, she had recently learned about the Autumn War in her studies with her tutor, and had been particularly enchanted by the recorded stories of archers using their bows as makeshift lyres and harps, weaving battlesong to turn the tide of battle.

Janchette had not expected this flight of fancy to last long, not when the young lady would discover how much worked was required. Miss Rereha, at least, was well-mannered and courteous for all her exuberance, so while the engagement would be short, it would not be as unpleasant as it could.

Her first surprise, though she did not show it, was when Rereha arrived at the rented archery range in sensible breeches and short-sleeved shirt, hair pulled back into a single plait, and a plain though well-made yew box, perfectly sized for a lalafell.

Her second surprise was that Rereha breathed not a word of complaint when they spent the entirety of their first lesson on teaching her how to draw her bow.

“The draw is the foundation for all of archery,” Janchette had explained. She had needed to sit on the ground to properly help Rereha adjust her feet, her posture, the grip of her tiny fingers on the string. “There are plenty of tricks and feats of dexterity a master archer can perform, but if she doesn’t know how to get a proper draw, she’s liable to hurt herself rather than an enemy.”

At the end of the lesson, Rereha’s right arm shook, the muscles in the limb and her shoulder and back twitching from exertion, but she had successfully managed to get a full draw on her bow.

“Very good!” Janchette had exclaimed, genuine in her delight, and Rereha had beamed. “Now, until our next lesson, I want you to practice that draw whenever you can; don’t dry loose, just relax your arm and the bow again. Take a hot bath when you get home and put on some liniment if you need to; you’re working muscles that aren’t used to being worked, and taking care of your body is as important as taking care of your bow.”

And during the second lesson, it had been clear that Rereha had been practicing: her arm still had a barely perceptible tremble, but the draw and hold had been rock steady.

Janchette had admitted to herself she might have underestimated this story-loving chit.

The real test had come when Janchette had allowed to Rereha to live fire. She had had to find a box for Rereha to stand on so she could properly center the target in her sight, but as always, Rereha didn’t complain, even as her cheeks puffed in frustration.

“More lalafell in Ul’dah than anywhere in Eorzea and everything’s still hyur height,” she had grumbled as her teacher made sympathetic noises.

Rereha’s first attempts at firing had been an unmitigated disaster: the arrows only made it a few fulms down the range, if that. It was obvious Rereha’s frustration had been growing, but Janchette put her foot down.

“Don’t worry about aim,” the Duskwight had said. “I don’t care if your shot goes wide. Keep firing.”

They had to stop and collect the arrows littering the floor, but at the end of that lesson, Rereha pulled, and breathed, and—

—her arrow had embedded in the wooden wall behind the target, a full fulm wide of the outer ring.

Both Rereha and Janchette had whooped with excitement, and then Rereha had yelped and lowered her arms

“I think I pulled too hard,” she had whined, flexing her fingers and rotating her draw arm.

“And now you know not to do that again,” Janchette had said, even as she had grinned. “Well done, little miss.”

The day Rereha had landed her first bullseye, Janchette had taken the little girl to her favorite tavern to celebrate, where they had served (and still did) the best marmot stew in Thanalan, spiced to eye-watering perfection. Rereha had wolfed down three bowls, happily sopping up the remaining liquid with fresh, hot bread, all what chattering about her music lessons, interspersed with questions about the jobs Janchette had taken as a merc. And, for the first time, Janchette had answered them.

Eventually, Rereha didn’t need formal lessons, but she always arranged for time on the shooting range a few times a sennight. Janchette wandered back to her house in the scrubland, but would blow back into Ul’dah on a whim to drag her former student to the range and teach her some ridiculous new way to get a draw on a bow not made for a lalafell. The not-quite-a-lady would still babble happily about her music lessons, ask questions about archery, but bitched about thaumaturgy and her mother’s desire for her to join the Order of Nald’thal.

“Like, okay, yeah, the giant explosions are pretty cool. Fire good,” Rereha had said during one such training session, drawing back a Gridanian longbow without fuss and adding to the cluster of arrows at the bullseye. “And it’s stupidly easy for me to do, sure, okay, natural talent blah blah blah, but gods, Synnove is the bookworm, not me. And five of the Coco brothers are there, Thal take them.”

Janchette had hummed, providing no commentary, but over bowls of marmot stew after, as had become their tradition, she shared what stories she had of the archers of the God’s Quiver, and an old man who wandered the land but had been recently spotted in the Twelveswood for the first time in decades, a bow on his back but a harp in his arms.

The Wildwoods of Gridania could choke for all she cared, but they were some of the best. And even she had heard of Jehantel; even if he gave up no secrets of archery, Rereha would prefer the songs, anyway.

So, when word reached of her one of Ul’dah’s most notorious socialites scampering off to the Black Shroud with only a single pack of clothing, a quiver on her back, and a bow in hand, Janchette raised a toast to her erstwhile student.

Rereha would do just fine.

[darnloveablecharacters]

Universal, Part Three: The Hotel

Series Summary: Simply a multi-part, self indulgent reader insert with John Wick universe kinda plumbed in. Fair warning…. SLOWWW BURN. Ignore canon and timing and crap, that’s not important….  Gifs and recognizable characters are not mine, but the story and all of the mistakes are!

The Universal - Masterlist

Chapter Notes: Interwebs are back and we are in business! Eh, it gave me time to edit this chapter some more so here we go! This is actually the chapter that started it all! I had so much fun writing this that it prompted this whole stinking mess. Speaking of mess, I actually had to cut A LOT out of it because while it was fun, the extra parts didn’t really work with the chapter. Stupid flow anyway... there is one piece that didn’t make the final cut that I think I’ll post as a bonus, just for the hell of it lol.

Warnings for this chapter: Spoiler alert for the Jedi Apprentice series (it’s small but there), drinking (drink choices are probably not Canon but I honestly couldn’t bring myself to give Obi Wan a bright blue drink.... then the gif wouldn’t have worked.)

R2 tracked the Sith to a system with no name. The only occupied planet was home to a massive hotel. The Universal.

Obi Wan and Anakin entered the hotel and to their immediate shock, the Sith was sitting in front of the reception desk patting a whimpering hound gently. Obi Wan caught the end of her statement as they slowly approached. “He’ll be back soon.” She was saying. He didn’t catch any more of her conversation with the hound as the concierge stood in their path.

“Good evening Jedi, my name is Charon. How may I assist you this evening?” The concierge said politely.

“We are here on business, we are looking for Lady Y/L/N.” Obi Wan said, watching as the Sith stood and winked at him before leaving the lobby.

“No ‘business’ may be conducted on Universal grounds, Master Jedi. I must ask that if that is your only purpose, then please leave.” Charon stated calmly, bringing Obi Wan’s full attention back to him.

Anakin bristled. “Who exactly do you think you are? You can’t…”

“What my padawan is trying to say Charon” Obi Wan began, shooting Anakin a warning glance. “Is that we are here on behalf of the Galactic Senate. We have been tasked with bringing Lady Y/L/N in for questioning for crimes against the Republic.”

“With all due respect, Master Jedi, we do not recognize Republic laws in our establishment.” Charon replied, eyeing the Jedi suspiciously as they glanced at each other. “I can see that you do not understand, perhaps you wish to meet with the Owner?”

“We will speak with the Owner.” Obi Wan agreed reluctantly.

Charon bowed respectfully. “Follow me, Gentlemen.” He said as he turned on his heel and headed in the same direction that Y/N had walked.

Obi Wan placed a reassuring hand on Anakin’s shoulder before following the concierge. He led them into a dimly lit bar toward a man who was contentedly swirling a glass of bourbon while watching the other patrons. He glanced up as they approached and smiled. “Why Charon, you’ve brought me Jedi! This is surely an unexpected surprise!” He exclaimed cheerfully as he stood to greet them. “Please sit and tell me your story!”

Winston gestured to the chairs opposite him and they took their seats. Charon bowed and left them as Obi Wan began. “We are here to take Lady Y/L/N in for questioning.” He stated simply.

Winston’s smile never faltered, but Obi Wan could feel his tension. “That is unfortunate as I am sure my concierge informed you that no ‘business’ shall be conducted on Universal grounds?”

“He did, but surely you would be willing to help bring justice to our Galaxy?” Obi Wan said, discreetly waving his hand under the table.

Winston narrowed his eyes. “Surely, you must be joking.” He said, catching them both off-guard. “Mind tricks will not work here Jedi. If this is all that you are here for, I will have to ask you to…”

Suddenly, two gold coins landed on the table in front of them. Obi Wan and Anakin tensed as the Sith stood over them; however, she ignored them and directly addressed the Owner. “I’ll vouch for them. Deadly killers, these ones… But, they will follow the rules as any Jedi does.”

Winston scooped up the coins and nodded, “So be it, but their actions will reflect solely on you. Should they bring any disruption to my establishment, it will fall on you Lady Y/L/N.”

“Understood.” Y/N conceded with a polite bow.

Winston nodded in return and turned back to the two Jedi. “I will leave you to it.” He glanced at the coins for a moment then back at the Jedi. “This will pay for room and board for two days. Please enjoy the full extent of our hospitalities while you are here, but be warned: The Universal does not condone any violence within our territory. This one rule is sacred and you do not want to witness the consequences of breaking it. Jedi or no, this is a place of peace and we recognize no formal laws. We are far more efficient than that.” With that, he stood and gave a curt bow before glancing up at a dark figure entering the room with the hound at his heels. “Covered in blood, why is he always tracking blood into the hotel.” He muttered grimly as he headed toward the new arrival.

Anakin was enraged, he knew a threat when he heard it and wanted to retaliate. Obi Wan tensed as he felt the anger within his padawan and reached out with the Force to calm his spirit. When he sensed his padawan was under control, he turned to the Sith. “I thank you, but I must admit I do not understand. Every time we have encountered each other, you have tried to kill us. I’m sure you understand my unease.”

Y/N smirked as if expecting this response. “You’re not wrong Master Kenobi, but I’m on holiday. I don’t particularly feel like fighting right now.

Obi Wan had expected many things when they entered the hotel, but this turn of events was not any of them. He reached out to the Force again and was surprised to feel that the dark ripples that had surrounded her before had been replaced with an overwhelming sense of contentment.

She raised an eyebrow at him but shrugged it off as she turned to Anakin. “By the way Padawan, I found the homing device shortly after arriving here.” She tossed the small sensor to him and grinned. “That was a great trick, perhaps if you decide to leave the Jedi you can show me how you pulled it off?”

This time Anakin was caught slightly off guard as his joy for the praise battled with the annoyance at the insult that he may ever leave the Jedi. Much to Obi Wan’s shock, Anakin took a calming breath before he responded. “Thank you for the compliment, Lady Y/L/N. But as I won’t be leaving the Jedi I guess you’ll have just have to teach yourself to fly better.”

Y/N laughed at that, and both Jedi finally relaxed. “Enjoy the amenities Gentlemen, I’m sure you will be well… entertained.” Y/N said with a bow and turning in the direction of the bar.

“I suppose we need a new plan.” Obi Wan said rubbing his beard thoughtfully. He glanced at Anakin after a few moments of silence and followed his distracted padawan’s gaze to a stage where a few exotic dancers were beginning their routine.

He stood with an exasperated sigh and left Anakin to his amusement. Scanning the room, he saw an overwhelming collection of high-power individuals. Senators, bounty hunters, gangsters and all types of individuals he would normally have a run-in with. I suppose this place is a haven for criminals, and there appears to be nothing I can do about it. He thought with a touch of annoyance. He continued his scan of the room until his gaze fell on Y/N nursing a drink at the bar. He rolled his eyes in frustration and headed in her direction.

“You’re troubled, Master Jedi.” She said, as he silently took the stool next to her.

“That is not your concern, Lady Y/L/N.” he said in an undertone. “Whiskey, please.” The droid tending the bar began to poor immediately after his request. He took the drink gratefully, feeling the warmth flow through him immediately after took a sip.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She said, turning to watch Anakin be entertained by the dancers with an amused expression. “Everyone needs a break, even the heroes of the Galaxy.”

“We do not need a break, we will always fight for Justice.” He said, regarding her coolly. He took another sip before adding, “We do not take kindly to cold-blooded murder.”

She focused on him then, piercing him with her gaze. “Don’t you? Tell me something, Master Jedi. How many people have you killed in your life?”

He opened his mouth to protest but stopped when the image of Bruck Chun’s hands slipping through his fingers was pulled from his memory. The pain was in his eyes was there for only a moment, but Y/N didn’t miss it. She simply nodded and continued. “Now, tell me how many people that you know for a fact that I’ve killed.”

Again, Obi Wan tried to speak but couldn’t. Reviewing their encounters, no sentient being had died in either. Only droids had been destroyed. The ships protecting the transport had been shot out of the air, but every single one of the pilots had miraculously survived only with minor injuries. He dropped his gaze back to his drink as he considered her point. “You do seem to be extraordinarily careful, for a Sith.” He finally conceded.

Y/N choked on her drink. “You really think I’m a Sith Lord?” She said after recovering from her laughter. Obi Wan just shrugged uncomfortably and she laughed again. Her eyes twinkled as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Oh, my dear sweet Jedi. I am no Sith. I have no hate for the Jedi, we simply have opposing views and get in each other’s way.” She removed her hand, smile never fading as she finished the remainder of her drink while he mulled over what she told him. “You have a few days’ respite here.  Enjoy it while you can, Jedi.” With that, she placed her glass delicately on the bar and stood. She leaned close to him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before lowering her voice so that only he would be able to hear. “Always a pleasure, Master Kenobi. I’m sure we’ll be fighting each other again shortly.”

The abrupt loss off contact left Obi Wan slightly staggered, though he would never admit it. He watched her leave the room feeling a mixture of shame and a frustration that seemed to be reserved for his encounters with her. “I’m sure we will, Lady Y/L/N.” He said quietly to the empty space. He downed the last of his drink and worked his way to the stage to “rescue” his padawan from the dancers.

As he all but dragged Anakin through the lobby, he was certain that they were being watched but continued toward the elevators without turning. After ensuring that Anakin would stay in his room, Obi Wan retired to his own and collapsed on the sleep couch. He closed his eyes and attempted to meditate but was unable to clear his thoughts. He thought of how she spoke, of her lingering touch and the ghost of the kiss that he could still feel against his cheek. As he drifted to a fitful sleep, the memory that had been plaguing him since their first meeting consumed him.

“That was… unexpected.” She admitted breathlessly.

“Yes, well I do like to keep a duel interesting.” Obi Wan said, still straining against her. Her strength didn’t waver.

It was too dark to see her, but he could feel her leaning into him. Her breath caressed him as she spoke. “You’ve accomplished that. I do wonder what you plan to do next.”

They were at a stalemate. Neither of them would be able to pull their lightsabers without her releasing her hold on him. Obi Wan relaxed and stared back into the darkness, feeling her energy. “I suppose we are at an impasse.” He said, choosing to bide his time until Anakin arrived.

“I suppose so.” She said sensually, leaning in close enough that her lips brushed his own.

A shocking wave of desire flooded through him. The feeling was strong and he wasn’t entirely certain that it was only his. He instinctively tilted his head to meet her in the kiss.

Before he could reach her, the room suddenly flooded with light as the bay doors exploded open and Y/N was forced off him. Obi Wan scrambled to his feet pulled his lightsaber to him as Anakin ran in but froze when he turned and finally saw her. In the heat of that moment, he couldn’t help but notice that she was undeniably beautiful.

She had moved to her feet as well and her lightsaber was in her hands, the red glow accenting her features in the best ways. She glanced toward his padawan running toward them then back at him and deactivated her lightsaber. “Until next time, Master Kenobi.” She said with a smile. She turned and disappeared into another hallway with an inexplicable speed.

“Until next time.” Obi Wan choked out in awe.

Obi Wan awoke with a start to the sound of his comlink buzzing. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to shake off lustful thoughts in his mind. When he was finally able to center himself, he checked the comlink and saw that it was the Council.

“Obi Wan, we have a new mission for you.” Came the stern voice of Mace Windu.

“That is good news.” Obi Wan said with relief. He would need a distraction.

“We need you to travel to Ansion to settle a border dispute.”

Authors Notes: Kudos if you caught the cameo! I wasn’t exactly trying to hide it lol. Also, Star Wars universe hounds are ah.... yeah, just not what I pictured when I wrote it. I actually googled it when I wrote him in and immediately said “nope, I’ll just write and think of John’s dog. lol

ALSO, for those of you who are not full blown Star Wars nerds (it’s okay, I love you anyway) the border dispute on Ansion is the mission they were sent to just prior to the events of Attack of the Clones.

[pathfindernorth2]

The First Semester

Koride Ulawa is one of the most intimidating professors on Campus, although the heroes were only coming to learn this.  A Cascade Bearer/Rain Scribe, she is as fierce as the Eye of Abendego.  Some think it strange then, that she chose to focus her studies on entomology and arachnology.  But she knows in her heart that these creatures hold power and potential overlooked and underestimated.  For it is in these creatures that she sees an endless balance, cycling and peaceful somehow even in its violence.  Insects and spiders are interwoven into the very fabric of the world, and through them the tapestry of the world is woven.  We can do little to change that, and perhaps it is best left alone.  Take for example the humble tardigrade, life at it’s most invincible, the only life we know of that lives in space and on the moon.  Insects were here before any of us, and they will be here long after the last dragon is dead.  In their DNA lies the lessons of time, and there is no more noble power to study.  

As High Mage Oyamba walked away a thought hit the group.  He was not the leader of the Emerald Boughs, not really anyway.  He said he was, but something about the way he said it was just off.  No, he is the head of the University so he surely cannot lead any particular school.  He probably takes the mantle so that there can be some figurehead, but learning who the actual head of the Emerald Boughs is would be challenging...perhaps a stone best left unturned.  But High Mage Oyamba also clearly had history with Teacher Ott, which the group did some sleuthing into and found that Teacher Ott would have become the High Mage...if not for the arrival and presence of Oyamba.  For students in their first semester, it seemed a bit aggressive to be sticking their noses into high level university politics...but this group has never shied away from being pests.  

The heroes returned to Teacher Ott, and he asked them how they fared with the books.  “We got them,” Wonko proudly stated.  “Excellent!” Teacher Ott replied with a smile, and noting the bee hive which he could magically restore, “I’d love to get back to work!”  He expected the group to hand them over, obviously.  The group hesitated, then huddled up.  A lively and polarized discussed developed regarding what these books were about and whether to turn them over to Teacher Ott.  Teacher Ott’s enthusiasm faded to concern, then to annoyance, then to unfriendliness.  “I told you those books were important to my research and you now go and collect them from the school library and are holding them hostage?”  His eyes burned with rage.  He turned to Jolene.  “Jolene, I’ll pay you 50 gps as a bounty to bring me those books.”  Jolene was unemotional in her response, having been in this situation many times.  “Make it 100, 50 now, 50 when I deliver them.”  Teacher Ott was furious.  “Hostage taking and extortion.  Fine, you have a deal.”  He handed her the 50, “but I expect the complete contents of my list, or you will be returning every last coin.”  

Jolene explained to the group that this was a great outcome.  You don’t just do things for free, Teacher Ott was shady and asked us to defy the High Mage at great risk to ourselves, and we deserve this. “Now give him the books and let’s walk out with our coin.  I’m not going to shoot anyone.  Can’t you see how good a deal this is?”  MC thought about it.  “That’s fine, but there’s one problem.  We don’t have all the books.  I just met up with Esi, she is my friend and study mate after all and she no longer has Volume 17 of the Collected Field Notes of Mata Digimari.  It’s been returned to the school.”  Jolene was staring bullets at him, the others felt something was off (MC had been gone to the tireless hall for a good spell to have returned with such a mundane report, and the books were found in a chest, stashed in the bushes, not in a library of Paladins) but nobody could quite put their finger on it.  The group decided it’s one book out of 20 in that big chest of field notes.  Teach Ott might not even notice, and worst case scenario they could just go check it out themselves (or Ott could).  So the heroes declared all books accounted for, and Teacher Ott paid the remaining sum without checking to see if the deliverable was complete.  As he walked away he said, “Students at the Magaambya succeed here by engaging in acts of charity and service to the community.  Keep doing what you just did to me, and you won’t last long.”  The comment echoed more than the sound of the slamming door, and made some of the heroes feel hollow.  Jolene felt nothing but the satisfaction of a job well done.  She had secured 100gps from nothing.  Teacher Ott used them, she used him.  Fair and square and that is the way of the world.  

Back at the Spire Dormitory, the heroes were relaxing after a day of classes. The semester was nearing its end and most of the students had done well in their classes.  This is how everyone fared in the First Semester:

1.  MC and Esi were gaining a reputation together.  They answered every question, delivered the best work product, and aced their exams.  They were at the top of their Tempest Sun Mage classes with two levels gained.  Nobody could match them when they worked together and got into the flow, although it also set them on such a pedestal that many avoided them for the same reason.  Teacher Ott was so pleased Esi found a friend, and favored MC and Mez while shunning the rest of the cohort for the rest of the semester.    

2.  Speaking of the Tempest sun Mages, Mez was experiencing something that few tempest sun mages had before - popularity!  She was fine in class, and was able to focus her studies on the Emerald Boughs (and Ignaci Canterels), but everyone saw the two tempest sun mage beads on her necklace all semester and couldn’t forget her triumph at the First Starday Tournament.  She was a star, and popular members of the other branches would sit with her at the dining hall and in classes.  She was invited to parties and fawned over by all sorts of students.  Ignaci relished this, and competed with the best of them in his finest clothes and manicured style.  But were they a “couple?”  No, assured Ignaci with a smile more stunning that she could imagine her fist ever being.  Unless she wanted them to be.  

3.  Caldaen was doing just fine in his Cascade Bearer classes.  Not at the top like Chizire (did that guy even study?!) but a solid level gained.  He would gain a second level in his accomplishment with Teacher Koride.  She seemed to take a liking to him, and he felt the greatness of this place, looking up to the towering statutes of the TEN, including White Bull the Iroxi champion that is a legend to his people.  

4.  Gai Lan was quietly dominating.  The yin of his personality counterbalanced by the yang of his magic - a combination much like his friend Haibram.  The two of them were like outcast skaters on campus, but they liked flying under the radar.  Haibram was a frequent visitor to the tattoo parlor, and they acted confidently beyond the social constructs of the school.  Teacher Zuma, a lone Orc on campus, was also into this duo and supported them enthusiastically from his tattoo parlor and the halls of the Uzunjati.  

5.  Nick wasn’t sure what he was expecting in his first semester at the Magaambya, but he certainly didn’t expect to be a mailman stripper...in love.  Strands of Glowing dawn was beautiful, elegant, and mysterious.  And while it took some time to understand his role dating a single mom of two, her twins Zachva and Zanvi were surprisingly articulate and independent for being 5 year olds.  He rarely saw them.  Mail delivery...that wasn’t going so well.  He hadn’t earned any money yet, and got totally lost.  But hopefully he would improve.  His classes went just fine, and he earned a solid emerald boughs bead.  Strange though...he cannot seem to remember who his professor was.  

6.  Wonko had a solid semester as well in his pursuit of Emerald Bough classes and gained a level.  Wonko asked a lot of questions and as the lone goblin in his class certainly got peoples attention.  High Mage Oyamba would check in on him and seemed to like him ever since his display of valor in saving the Spellskeins.  Generally Wonko started establishing a reputation as a naturally kind-hearted person devoted to acts of service, and such a thing is respected at the highest level...and not easily taught. 

7.  Jolene was on the other end of the spectrum.  She still does not know why she was even here and she goes back to that moment her horse dumped her off into the mud of a downpour.  Why did she come here again?  Damn to hell the ruthless grip of alcoholism, and she feels more like an outsider every day.  But what she does know is that for some reason she has been let into this fancy place, and it is is very nice.  Her unique abilities also gained her a bead in the Emerald Bough School, but she doesn’t really care about that.  She’s never really cared about anything.  But a frail and fractured friend came into her life -  the gnoll bone keeper Anchor Root.  Dare she say a best friend?  She wants to avoid the insulting canine metaphors, but if you have only one friend, if you don’t even know what friendship is, she must be a best friend, right?  Why does that saccharine BS even matter?!  For a reason beyond Jolene’s comprehension, it does.  More than anything.  

Early one morning Anchor Root approached the group.  “Hi. Um, Teacher Koride wants to see you, and she seemed pretty upset.  I’m sorry!”  She ran back into her room.  It had probably taken hours for her to summon the courage to deliver the message, and doing so looked like it exhausted her.  The group came to understand that Anchor Root likely was to blame for her own anxiety this time around, as she admitted that she had seen the heroes go into the old tree stump library and had experienced first hand the insectile invasion that followed.  She is secretly ashamed of her guilty pleasure, which is spying on people where nobody knows she is there.  It’s about the most anti-social thing imaginable, but it reflects a craving.  She wants to be like the cool kids, she wants to study them, to be a part of their group even if they don’t know she is there.  The only difference between voyeurism and spy-work is insecurity.  

Teacher Koride’s intimidating reputation was immediately on display as the heroes entered her laboratory.  “As the entomologist on campus, my door has been hammered all morning.  The Dining Hall, the Leshy Grove, The Speaker’s Stage...all seem to have strange infestations.  From where?”  She levels a stern gaze on the group.  “Well that seems to be my problem today, and I am making it your problem.  Go to those locations, and ask Anchor Root about Centipedes.  Please bring me back a sample of each infestation, but try not to stir things up more than they already are.  Insects exist in a careful balance, and disturbing that balance is more catastrophic than you can imagine.  I’ll figure out what is going on and tend to it.  I just need samples.  You may leave.”

The heroes spoke with Anchor Root again, and she described seeing a swarm of centipedes, but they stayed well clear of her chickens.  The chickens feasted on them, and they seemed clearly unwilling to tussle with what to the centipedes was a most voracious dinosaur.  MC of course barely heard the last of Koride’s words as he wheeled faster than anyone had ever seen him move making a bee-line for the imperiled dining hall.  When he arrived, to his horror, he saw it was closed and the students were being served paltry food in the moist rain of the courtyard.  Lumusi the head chef was distraught, but when he said he would get to the bottom of it, was cautiously pleased.  “Be careful. Inside is a swarm of poisonous centipedes and they are in everything.”  Then she looked genuinely worried.  “Also sous chef Abena has gone missing.  Last I saw, she was in the kitchen when the centipedes swarmed in from every nook and cranny.”  MC returned to the group to find them planning for the next move.  

Anchor Root was approaching panic-level anxiety now, with this second confrontation.  In response, Jolene expected she would feel anger or disgust, but instead she felt a power inside her she couldn’t quite understand.  Empathy.  She gave an incredible counseling like only a friend who truly cares can.  Through an exchange of heartfelt words, Anchor Root flashed inspiration, courage, and confidence that she didn’t know was inside her either.  The bond between Jolene and Anchor Root grew stronger and Anchor Root agreed to accompany the gang to the kitchen.  With her monstrous chicken on a leash, Anchor Root easily parted the swarm and saved Abena from her hiding place (a cast Iron Cauldron).  Abena hugged Anchor Root for saving her from a horrible death, and Anchor Root smiled for the first time in longer than she could remember.  The more naturally inclined heroes witnessed the power of Jolene’s empathy and tried a little dose of their own in coaxing the centipedes to go home.  They succeeded without harming a single one, and as they were retreating into the cracks of the masonry, they snatched one as a sample.  

The Leshy Grove was abuzz with activity.  Clearly the Leshy’s were building something, although it was all in parts.  They would be ready for the second Starday Tournament and they expected to even the score with the heroes.  However, their efforts were being hampered by an untimely infestation of bark beetles that were burrowing their way into their creations.  These creatures were not even native to the Mwangi, so their presence was very strange, as the heroes quickly figured out.  Further, Mez, the champion of the sparring fields, noticed that the bark beetles appeared to be eating shapes in the wood in what she could have sworn were runes - a circle of runes that (if one could believe bugs capable of such a thing) were looking strangely like a summoning circle.  If Mez knew anything about the arcane, she knew that such machinations must be precise and choreographed to succeed and the beetles were mid ritual!  She quickly destroyed several of the runes (which the leshy’s thought was pretty suspicious since it destroyed one of their construct components they would have unleashed on her).  But in doing so, Mez disrupted the ritual and the beetles dispersed.  Of course the heroes obtained a sample before that happened.  

Finally, the Speaker’s Stage, which sits on a promontory in the warded moat of the Magaambya, overlooks a popular square in Nantambu.  Families were about on the river bank since there was a nice break in the weather and some sunshine pouring through the late afternoon.  The Speaker’s Stage is a place where members of the Magaambya will make proclamations or put on shows for the people of Nantambu, and some of the cities more affluent members, patrons of the academy, etc. will come to see them.  Today, there was a small group on the other side of the moat when Caldaen hulked onto the stage.  One finely dressed member of the city, out playing with his children on the banks of the moat hailed him.  “Who goes there on the speaker’s stage of the mighty Magaambya?  Might we have a show today in store?  How wonderfully unexpected!”  At this a small crowd formed.  Caldaen froze.  He was here to find bugs, not perform anything!  But the rest of the heroes had not come with him, so he tried his best to oblige.  For Caldaen knows that acts of public service come in all forms, and to say no would look...rude.  So he started swishing his tail and doing a dance of his ancestors he had seen back home.  The only problem was that he had no idea how to actually do that dance, and once he started he realized quickly that he did not know what he was doing. 

The crowd looked confused.  Was he insulting them, mocking them?  Nick ran up to the stage to try to salvage the bomb.  And drop a bomb he did.  Nick split off his shirt to reveal his ripped pecs, perfectly manscaped and performed a dance so sexy, so alluring, that the grownups were awestruck, and the children dropped their ice cream cones, mouth agape.  Now this was a performance!  The rest of the heroes arrived without context to see Caldaen doing the Iroxi Shuffle and Nick just slaying it.  In the meantime they saw the harmless swarm of waterstriders on the moat and gathered a sample.  They would return the samples to Koride who would be pleased with their work and promised to get to the bottom of this.  In fact, Caldaen would impress her and introduce himself as a hopeful Cascade Bearer.  She softened up greatly and they engaged in rigorous academic discussion about the insects and what this all meant.  They came to the conclusion that it is a magical item, more so than a person, that likely caused this, and the center of the swarms was none other than Teacher Ott’s office at the Archhorn Library.  She gifted him a second Cascade Bearer bead for excellent work, and welcomed him to her laboratory any time.  

But back to Nick.  A group of 20-something ladies from across the moat yelled to him.  “What do they call you?!  Wow you are HOT!”  And Gai Lan just felt it right to yell “Nick the Dick!” thinking it was because Nick was an asshole.  But the ladies ate it up, and a chant started among them, Nick. THE.  Dick.  Nick. THE. Dick.  The man who had initially inquired introduced himself as Asanda, a member of the City Council of Nantambu.  He bent down and with some magic of his own, prepared a small paper boat which caught wind in it’s small sails and floated across the moat.  On the boat he placed a feather, a token of his appreciation.  What an unexpectedly alluring show from the wizards of the Magaambya.  

Nick hoped that Strands of Glowing Dawn wasn’t seeing this.  He really had no intention of being unfaithful in this performance.  But something told him that she would find out, and he wasn’t sure if that was awesome or not.  

[xyliane]

sugarhighs and chaperones

summary: just because people ship gon and killua, doesn’t mean they realize gon and killua are already together. killua’s daughter and a motley crew of his students take it upon themselves to correct this issue. leorio does not understand how he keeps getting roped into these things.

notes: a very special thanks to @sunfloweranimator whose comment on a previous headcanon post lead to...this mess. gen, fluff featuring inedal zoldyck, fourteen year old troll, leorio paladiknight who is too old for this shit but it’s not his problem if the kids are sugarhigh, a collection of well-meaning but ridiculous students, and killugon in their thirties. 1800 words.

notes the second: I’m so sorry for the delay, but next chapter of “all roads” is going up in the next few days! I was computer-less for most of the weekend still need to edit and this was half-phone-words

---

“Hey oldest geezer, I’ve got a question.”

“Inedal, you’re my favorite fourteen year old, but you know you can call me Leorio. Or Uncle Orio, like your siblings. Or Dr. Paladiknight if you feel polite for once.”

“But if Dad is the geezer, then you’re the oldest geezer.”

Leorio is immediately and viscerally reminded that Inedal is Killua’s daughter to an almost terrifying degree, her voice over the phone matter of fact like she’s stating the obvious for an idiot. He carefully turns away from the chart he’d been staring at to press fingers against his already pulsing forehead. He’s almost used to Killua’s oldest calling him at odd hours about topics ranging from wrapping sprains (so Killua won’t know) to how to unbreak a broken lockpick (so Killua will know). But usually, she just barges in with whatever it is she needs, knowing Leorio will have what she needs. That she’s hedging means either she’s growing up or wants something she’s not comfortable with. “So what’s your question?” he says.

She hums tunelessly, probably flipping a coin or a knife across her knuckles. Leorio almost starts to ask again, before she blurts out, “How do you go on a date?”

Aaahhh. Leorio leans back in his chair, a smug grin growing on his face. She’s a little younger than her dad had been before he’d started asking about this sort of thing, but it’s about time. Although why she’s asking Leorio and not Gon is another question entirely. Maybe she doesn’t want Killua to know. “So who’s the lucky kid?” Leorio asks. “Is it one of Killua’s students? Or someone from school?”

“Ew, gross!” Inedal half-screams, her voice echoing like she’s pulled the phone away from her ear. “No, this isn’t me! This is setting up Dad and Gon!”

“But...” Leorio crunches his eyebrows together. “They’ve been together for years. Hell, you know they’re together.”

“I know. But Gon only just got back, and some of Dad’s students don’t know, and they’re trying to set them up with each other to try to get my old man to relax a little.” She blows out a puff of air. “They don’t appreciate that he is relaxed, especially now that Gon’s back. He’d be training them over minefields, not the cliffs outside of your city, if he wasn’t relaxed. It’s obvious.”

And there’s the headache. “Have you been stealing their things again?”

“Only when the old man doesn’t notice. And I’m training my hatsu!”

Leorio is understandably terrified when she finally figures that out. Killua had to adopt the prodigy thief girl. “Inedal. Dating. Your dads.”

“Killua’s my dad, Gon’s Gon.”

“Right, right.”

“So? You gonna help me get them on a stupid date so the idiot teenagers my dad teaches can get their heads out of their asses?” Leorio waits, hoping that Gon’s influence holds out a little bit. She finally relents. “Please?”

“Anything for my favorite fourteen year old.”

----

Leorio regrets the anything almost immediately. She’s Killua’s kid, raised by Killua and Gon themselves. She will never fight fair, and uses every skill at her fingers to get what she wants. Which is how Leorio ends up chaperoning a mess of young adults, plus Killua’s kids Inedal and Fen, into a cafe in the bushes outside of Naclabore’s fifth most famous outdoor fish restaurant. It’s not the most expensive, and definitely not the most attractive, but it’s a place Leorio ends up going when he’s taking favored patients once they’ve healed after a particularly risky procedure, or the occasional friend blowing in from out of town. That the cafe next door has such convenient bushes for observation is completely a coincidence.

“How many of you have mastered zetsu?” Leorio asks.

About half of the teenagers thrust their hands in the air, cocky grins on their faces belying their overconfidence. Killua would eat his students alive if he knew they were overplaying their hands. The ones that have mastered it, two or three of the students as well as Fen and Inedal, have been in it since they got within sight of the restaurant. Leorio too, but he’s been a doctor for more than a decade and friends with some of the most reckless idiots in the world for two. It’s self-preservation. Not that Gon or Killua has been very good at that either.

Well. Leorio’s a doctor, not a teacher. Not his job. And Gon and Killua seem to be having a good time, wide grins on both their faces and only occasionally reaching over the table to toy with each other’s hands. At one point, Gon brushes something off of Killua’s cheek, and two of Killua’s students turn to each other and make a noise like tires squealing against pavement. “Okay, so. Those who know zetsu, can stay. Those who don’t, get going.” He turns to Inedal, who’s opening cameras on four different phones with a sly cat-like grin on her face. “Can I leave now? I have work tomorrow.”

“Oldest geezer, we both know you’re sticking around.”

“Yeah, Uncle Orio!” Fen adds, his grin wide and guileless. “We’ll pay for your lunch, too.”

Leorio eyes the ten year old boy and the fourteen year old girl, and looks right at the oldest of Killua’s students. Razin stares right back at him. While not Killua’s longest-taught student, Razin’s in their early twenties and seems to have accepted that Inedal is too stubborn for her own good. Much like her dad and Gon.  “You're here,” they say, shrugging, and settle back into their salad.

“You’re talkative,” Leorio mutters, and they smirk and shrug again. “Fine, I’ll stay til they leave. But this is your fault.”

----

A list of things Killua’s students think they know about Gon, as per them not shutting up the entire time Leorio’s eating his lunch. (Inedal, thankfully, follows through on Fen’s promise. She also looks like a cat that ate a dozen canaries, so Leorio gives up bothering to stay in zetsu. If he’s getting a paid-for day off, he’s going to enjoy it.)

1. Gon is Killua’s best friend. 2. Gon is a two-star lost hunter best known for tracking down Ging Freecss multiple times, getting gem hunter Iundara Gola to finally accept payment on almost forty years of work, and how he helped end a war with Killua. 3. Gon is able to vanish into the woods and return weeks later having saved three endangered species and a giant hawk. 4. Gon can turn his whole right arm into a sword that he uses to carve trees into boats. 5. Gon once swam from the Yorubian continent all the way to the Bergerose Nations to find the right swarm of shrimp for a dinner for his mom. (Leorio nearly chokes on his drink at this one, because he knows exactly what they’re talking about, and...no. No. But yes. But no.)

A list of things Killua’s students think will happen with Gon and Killua, kept PG more likely due to Leorio’s adultly presence than Inedal and Fen’s youthful egging on.

1. Kissing. How many dates before it happens is a debate that lasts all lunch. 2. Easier training sessions while Killua daydreams over his best friend, an idea that a few of the more intelligent students shoot down immediately, but such voices of reason are drowned out. 3. More dates, which means less time spent being zapped for inadequate form.

That Inedal isn’t telling them most of these lists is complete and total bullshit of one form or another, says more about her ability to keep her mouth shut for the sake of the game than any inconsistencies in narrative. Fen is practically vibrating, spinning increasingly ridiculous tall tales about things Gon and Killua have done, until his ice cream arrives and he buries himself up to his elbows in the frozen dessert.

Absolutely none of this is Leorio’s fault. He’s just the chaperone.

----

The only warning most of the not at all covert gathering of students has that Gon and Killua have finished their lunch is how Inedal mysteriously vanishes from sight midway into a conversation with one of the students about how she does her hair. The student looks briefly puzzled before Killua appears all but out of nowhere right behind her. “We’re doing zetsu training for the next two weeks,” he says with the sort of gleeful menace usually reserved for melodramatic laughter by movie villains.

Almost the entire table scrambles to their feet, dishes scattering across the stone. Leorio narrowly rescues the last of his wine, sipping it as casually as he can with Killua’s grin widening to something horrible. “Sup, old man. It’s been a while.”

“Leorio!” Gon calls, and Leorio is half-choked by Gon leaning in for a hug. He’s not as tall as Killua or Leorio, but he’s built as solid as ever, and his hug is strong and tight.

“Welcome back to civilization, buddy” Leorio says.

Killua exchanges a look with Gon, and he sighs. “What are you even doing here. With my students. And...” He tilts his head to the side, lightning flickering through his thick ponytail. There’s a yelp from overhead, and Inedal bounces out of the tree, glaring and embarrassed at being found. “Two of my kids.”

“You need to stop teaching Inedal how to wrap people around her fingers.”

“You need to stop letting her.” But he ruffles his daughter’s hair affectionately nonetheless, leaving her pigtails a staticky mess. She huffs and plops into the seat next to Leorio.

Fen all but vibrates his way up Gon’s arms, tugging at the shorter-than-usual spikes on Gon’s head. Leorio guesses he got it trimmed before meeting up with Killua and the kids. “You got a date with Pa!” Fen says, smile wide.

“I did,” Gon says, and smiles warmly. Killua’s cheeks turn a little pink.

“You gonna go on another?”

Gon’s smile stays the same, but his eyes dance. “I dunno, Fen. That’s all up to Killua.”

“What do you mean it’s up to me,” Killua grumbles. “You’re the one who--”

“You have to take him out again!” one of the students says, hopes higher than Yorknew Tower.

“Yeah! Killua’s a great guy, and a great teacher!’”

“He’s kind of an asshole about his chocolate, but I’m sure you’re already used to it!”

“And he talks about you a lot, even if the stories seem weird.”

“Did you really catch stars in your fists?”

Killua holds up a hand, and everyone shuts up almost instantly. Leorio is more than a little impressed. Until Killua opens his mouth and says, “Wait, are you dumbasses trying to hook me up with Gon?”

“That is why all the students set you up,” Inedal says, and picks at her nails to avoid Killua’s boggled stare. “They even paid for Uncle Leorio’s help.”

“I wasn’t paid!”

“You got lunch. And dessert.”

“Which Fen ate.”

“Which you let Fen eat. He eats too much ice cream. Aren’t you a doctor? Shouldn’t you tell him to balance it with carrots or something?”

Killua and Gon both choke back laughter. Or more accurately, Killua started groaning about Fen and sugarhighs, while Gon asks, giggles tickling out of the back of his throat, “I don’t know, Killua. Dating sounds fun.”

“Gon, we’ve been together for fifteen years.”

“But we never officially dated, Killua. Boyfriend and boyfriend. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

Killua opens his mouth to say something absolutely ear-meltingly awful and not at all safe for Leorio’s mind, but holds off at the last minute. Maybe he thinks better of it and has actually grown up at some point in the last twenty-plus years. Maybe he catches sight of his kids. Instead he says to Gon, “More dates this time. You’re buying.”

“Half.”

“Two-thirds. And as for you all...” Killua glances at his best friend and smirks. “Before we start in on retraining your zetsu, we’re going to go back to camp straight through the mountains. Inedal, I think you could use a refresher too. Gon, you mind grabbing what we need?”

A chorus of terrified groans echoes around Leorio, who simply leans back and enjoys the chaos.

[ncmagroup]

by Steve Kearns

  The scent of popcorn wafts through the living room. Assorted candies and snacks are spread out across the coffee table. You’ve loaded the sofa up with blankets and pillows for maximum comfort.

Is there anything better than a movie night?

I can think of one thing that upgrades the experience: When those movies you settle in to enjoy offer value beyond mere entertainment. I would guess I’m not alone in saying I’ve watched plenty of flicks that had a lasting impact on me.

In particular, I like watching stories that help me grow professionally, by providing me with perspective, applicable lessons, or simply inspiration.

These 9 films, in my opinion, all have something to offer for today’s sales pros. They cover a vast assortment of genres and time periods and subject matter, but at the end of the day, these are all movies about sales, one way or another.

9 Movies About Sales You Should Watch

Death of a Salesman

Based on the classic play by Arthur Miller, this movie was made for the small screen (it premiered on CBS in August of 1985) but offered Hollywood-caliber drama and performances (from Dustin Hoffman and John Malkovich, among others.)

As its name suggests, Death of a Salesman is not the most uplifting of affairs — its protagonist is a failed traveling salesman whose life more or less falls apart — but ultimately there are good takeaways here about setting realistic goals, and accepting ourselves for who we really are.

Money Quote: “Walk in with a big laugh. Don’t look worried. Start off with a couple of your good stories to lighten things up. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it because personality always wins the day.” — Willy Loman

Glengarry Glen Ross

The early scene in which Blake, an arrogant hotshot sent from downtown to motivate a lagging collection of real estate salesmen, arrives and verbally berates the embattled team is unforgettable. Alec Baldwin’s vitriolic, profanity-laced takedown is riveting, hilarious, and heartbreaking all the same time. “Put that coffee down! Coffee’s for closers!” he barks at Shelley Levene (Jack Lemmon) as he meekly tries to pour a mug.

Levene is one of the classic salesman archetypes in cinema, personifying the pressure and rejection that can be incumbent to the profession. (The character became something of a pop-culture stereotype in and of itself.) The movie is a fun throwback to a bygone era, with salesmen dialing up prospects from phone booths and desperately yearning for that coveted stack of Glengarry leads. (If only they had Sales Navigator to generate their own!)

Money Quote: “A-B-C. A: Always, B: Be, C: Closing. Always be closing.” — Blake

The Big Kahuna

Most B2B salespeople know about the thrill of chasing that huge, game-changing deal. The one that makes your month, or even your year. That’s the focus here, with the titular “Big Kahuna” being the CEO of a large company who is targeted by a trio of industrial lubricant sales/marketing reps at a trade show.

The interplay between these three characters and the many reflective moments make this comedy a worthwhile view even beyond the laughs.

Money Quote: “It doesn’t matter whether you’re selling Jesus or Buddha or civil rights or ‘How to Make Money in Real Estate With No Money Down.’ That doesn’t make you a human being; it makes you a marketing rep. If you want to talk to somebody honestly, as a human being, ask him about his kids. Find out what his dreams are — just to find out, for no other reason. Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it, it’s not a conversation anymore; it’s a pitch. And you’re not a human being; you’re a marketing rep.” — Phil Cooper

The Pursuit of Happiness

A career in sales can be a struggle, requiring us to look deep within ourselves. No film epitomizes this truth better than The Pursuit of Happiness, in which Will Smith plays a medical equipment salesman named Chris Gardner who finds himself homeless after a run of bad luck. He tries to dig his way out of destitution and provide a better life for his son.

Gardner’s sad plight turns into an uplifting resurgence as he employs a variety of savvy sales tactics during an unpaid internship at a brokerage firm, focusing on the highest-value prospects and relying on his strong interpersonal skills. Through impressive performance, he earns a paying job and eventually starts his own successful company. I dare you to watch this film and not feel utterly inspired.

Money Quote: “Walk that walk and go forward all the time. Don’t just talk that talk, walk it and go forward. Also, the walk didn’t have to be long strides; baby steps counted too. Go forward.” — Chris Gardner

The Wolf of Wall Street

Here we have the flip side of the coin. Leonardo DiCaprio’s Jordan Belfort rises from humble beginnings to Wall Street kingpin thanks to his ability to execute (and teach) the hard sell. Once he gets on the phone, his persuasive abilities are divine as he convincingly paints worthless stocks as can’t-miss opportunities.

Belfort quickly climbs the ladder as he builds his company Stratton Oakmont into a powerhouse, all while he spirals out of control amidst drugs and debauchery, and things eventually unravel in rather spectacular fashion.

Money Quote: “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the [BS] story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” — Jordan Belfort

Boiler Room

Like Wolf of Wall Street, Boiler Room depicts aggressive brokers peddling junk stocks with inflated promises in search of hefty commissions, albeit in a very different style. Compared to most other movies listed here, this one takes a somewhat more serious look at the impact and consequences of dishonest sales tactics.

Money Quote: “There is no such thing as a no-sale call. A sale is made on every call you make. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you a reason he can’t. Either way, a sale is made, the only question is who is gonna close? You or him?” — Jim Young

Jerry Maguire

After dramatically breaking off from his sports agency to go it alone, Maguire (played by Tom Cruise) has to sell himself to clients to remain viable. The decision that sent him down this path is one that resonates in today’s digital sales world: quality over quantity. He wanted to work with fewer clients in order to deliver better and more personalized service.

Ultimately, Maguire is only able to convince one client to stay with him at his new solo venture, but the strong relationship he builds with Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding Jr.) eventually gets noticed by others, opening new opportunities and saving his career.

Money Quote: “The key to this business is personal relationships.” — Dicky Fox

Moneyball

Sticking in the sports realm, we come to the story of Billy Beane (Brad Pitt), who transformed the way baseball front offices operate with his innovative approach as Oakland A’s general manager back in the early 2000s. This film (based on a book of the same name) shows how Beane built a small-market contender by identifying and capitalizing on market inefficiencies. In this case, his data-driven approach points him toward on-base percentage as an undervalued asset.

You are (probably) not in the business of constructing an MLB roster, but the takeaway for sellers is this: What’s your market inefficiency? Where is the untapped opportunity in your space that competing salespeople are overlooking?

Beane’s attempts to sway traditional mindsets in the organization toward a new, unfamiliar way of thinking might help inspire any sales pro who faces a firmly established status quo.

Money Quote: “We are card counters at the blackjack table. And we’re gonna turn the odds on the casino.” — Billy Beane

A Christmas Story

Okay, this one’s a little outside the box. You won’t find this cherished holiday staple on many “Best Sales Movie” lists, because it’s not about sales in any way. Or is it?

Throughout the entire movie, young Raphie is trying to sell his parents on the Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle that he so desires, playing up the benefits (a compass in the stock, and this thing that tells time) while downplaying the widespread objections (one is liable to shoot his eye out). Eventually, his resolve wins out.

It’s an epic tale of tenacity and persistence.

Money Quote: “It was a classic, mother BB-gun block. ‘You’ll shoot your eye out!’ That deadly phrase, honored many times by hundreds of mothers, was not surmountable by any means known to Kid-dom, but such was my mania, my desire for a Red Ryder carbine, that I immediately began to rebuild the dike.” — Ralphie Parker

Watch and Learn

Not all of these movies cast the sales profession in the best light. Few of them tie directly to the work we do today of engaging prospects and building relationships in the digital space. But as you watch these heralded classics, you’re bound to come away with some insight and food for thought.

At the very least, you’ll have a stomach full of popcorn and candy. Now there’s an easy sell.

  Go to our website:   www.ncmalliance.com

  9 Movies Every Salesperson Needs to Watch by Steve Kearns The scent of popcorn wafts through the living room. Assorted candies and snacks are spread out across the coffee table.

[cupnoodle-queen]

CHASING SUNS: Chapter 4 Red

2,238 words Please don’t hate me while I sprinkle on the happiness then take it all away...

When Cam’s alarm went off at eight, she’d already had the phone in her hand and was browsing the recent news reports. She sighed at the total lack of sleep she got, stretched and grabbed her toothbrush and headed to the showers.

The water ran hot, thank the Six, something she wasn’t used to back at the Reynold family house. Lukewarm was the best they could get on a good day, the list of plumbing outfitters in the world of darkness pretty scant, and a hot shower while she worked at the power plant in Lestallum was not an option. Cam took her time until the morning rush came through, brushing her teeth as she rinsed off, wringing her chest-length curls and tying them up in a ponytail. She wrapped her middle in a towel before leaving to the changing rooms.

On her way, Cam encountered the most beautiful woman she’d ever laid eyes on in all her twenty-five years.

Drop dead gorgeous was putting it lightly. The creature padding her way on bare feet was all lean muscle and defined curves, a chest threatening to spill over the top of her towel wrap, her skin cream and roses though silvery scars peeked through in random patches. Locks of cherry-red silk cascaded over the siren’s shoulders, bouncing in tandem with her breasts as she sauntered by, a catastrophic smirk tugging at her lips.

Cam tried not to stare, looking past her to the far wall instead as she kept walking. Her self-confidence took a hit and she had to straighten her shoulders back in place. Underneath her towel, the faintest sting against her hip drew her attention. The idea of gouging the damn thing from her skin didn’t sound so bad; the unpredictable reactions were throwing her through a loop.

She changed briskly and headed back to the barracks to drop her things off when her phone beeped, twice. It was Greyson, asking to meet him at the armory.

She ducked into the shop, the scent of leather and oil assaulting her olfactories while displays of bracers, chest pieces and shinguards covered the walls from top to bottom. Greyson was holding a pair of black leather armguards, looking a bit too narrow for his thick forearms. “Hey Cam,” He greeted her and held the bracers up. “Try these on.”

They felt strange, foreign. Cam hadn’t put on a piece of armor in her life. The best comparison her mind could determine was a tight bracelet. Greyson instructed how to attach the bracer on her dominant arm, like a parent teaching their child to tie their shoelaces, and she fixed the one on her non-dominant hand.

Greyson was waiting for her opinion. “Well, what’ya think?”

“They’re...nice?”

“They aren’t supposed to be nice,” he said, locating the price tag and fishing for gil in his pockets. “They’re supposed to protect you and keep your blood inside your body.”

Cam frowned. “You don’t have to buy them for me.”

“Consider it a gift,” He insisted before telling the vendor to keep the change. “Your first piece of hunter certified armor. Wear it with pride, yadda yadda. Just keep remembering to portion out your earnings to fund new or replacement armor, especially if you decide to venture into melee combat.”

“No way,” Cam shook her head. “I’ll stick with firearms, don’t think I could ever get that up close and personal. Too dangerous.”

Greyson shrugged. “Suit yourself. Speaking of firearms, we need to pick up your piece. First one’s free, but you break it, you buy it...”

On the way to the weapons dealer, a familiar red mane caught Cam’s eye. Sure enough the siren from earlier stood chatting with a couple of high-ranking hunters, her hip jutting to the side in tight leather pants and a black wool turtleneck outlined the dips of her narrow waist. It wasn’t fair for her to exist, Cam thought, despite how irrational it was of her considering she didn’t know her from Adam. Even the way she carried herself-

“Not nice to stare, Cam,” Greyson chuckled, “though I don’t blame you.”

“Who is she?” Cam attempted to keep her tone casual.

They arrived at the weapons vendor before Greyson responded. “She’s the gilmaster, basically divides up the percentage HQ collects on all hunts to keep us stocked and vendor fees paid, plus we gotta eat somehow. She’s like, I dunno, the head accountant. Used to be a badass swordsman-err, swordswoman, back in the day.”

Though she wanted to, Cam stopped herself from looking over her shoulder at the woman. “Huh, alright then.”

The weapons vendor must have known she was coming, as he held out a pristine, silver pistol for Cam. “Hey, this is for you.”

Cam’s eyes lit up as he handed it over, pointing out the safety, how to reload the clip, what bullets to buy. She was keen to learn and memorized his instructions, feeling as if the weight of information was overwriting some other aspect of her skillset in the process. Perhaps she wouldn’t need to know how to properly germinate pepper seeds anymore…

Once locked and loaded, Greyson and Cam stopped to grab an Ebony to go before they looked over the giant bulletin board of available hunts. Leaving it to the expert, Cam stood back and tried to gather an estimate of the total flyers. She lost track at one-fifty. Her stomach tied in knots.

Greyson pulled a flyer from the board and brought it over to her. A handful of imps, payout five-hundred gil. “This’ll be easy, think no one’s cleaned it up cause it’s a cheap payout. But you can probably cover this yourself.” He looked up. “Ready to head out?”

A deep breath, followed by a tired smile. “Yeah, ready.”

The wind picked up near the Nebulawood, where Greyson parked the truck in the shoulder of the road and hopped out, Cam right behind him. He checked the map on his phone against the coordinates and nodded, pointing towards a path in the thicket. “Closest route is up the path a ways, then we’ll need to head into the bush.”

They hopped the railing and made their way through the thicket of trees, flashlights darting side to side, watching each other's backs as they began to head into unmarked territory.

Cam’s tension was at an all time high, her ears straining to pick up any unusual sounds though the gusts whistling through the forest made it difficult. She kept alert, as alert as zero sleep could offer at least.

A few yards into the brushes and Cam spotted an otherworldly flicker of purple light to the west. She tapped Greyson’s shoulder, silently jabbed a thumb in the direction of the sighting and he nodded.

As they approached, the light flickered and disappeared, popping up a couple more yards back. It was aware of their presence, and began toying with them. Cam wasn’t having it, though. Feeling a surge of boldness out of fucking nowhere, Cam withdrew her pistol and flicked the safety off, lined up a shot with her flashlight as a guide, and fired.

She missed.

“What the SHIT, Cam?!” Greyson fought to keep his voice down while scolding her. “We haven’t even-”

Three, four, seven imps were on them in seconds, more than they’d prepared for and all at once. One of them grabbed onto Cam’s shoulders, it’s claws digging into the fleshy part of her back and she hissed through clenched teeth. At the same time, one of them tried to gnaw her leg off, the thick fabric of her jeans preventing any major injury but not standing up to the job for much longer.

Not four feet from her, another imp was preparing to cast a spell.

Cam steeled herself, weighing her options. She aimed at the imp on her leg, lined the barrel up with it’s forehead and pulled the trigger. The resulting wet crunching sound and burst of light tapped into her adrenaline stores. Blackish purple daemon blood spattered her face. She quickly pointed the gun over her shoulder and fired at the imp on her back, the deafening crack of the bullet making her ear pop. Without a moment to spare, Cam reeled back and aimed at the imp, who was just lurched in throes of hurtling a spell towards her, but she caught him in time and fired with perfect aim.

The entire exchange took less than three seconds, but for Cam felt older by the time she was freed of their clammy claws. Greyson was managing well enough on his own, his axe one-shotting the other imps, childsplay as he coined it. A final daemon made an appearance and with a nod from Greyson, Cam shot it down with two rounds.

When they were certain the group was finished off, Greyson chuckled loudly. “Well, that went better than expected.”

Cam felt alive, a tad excited that she’d completed her first hunt. She did as Dave asked, grabbing a photo of the dead daemons as ‘proof of elimination’, and wiped the black blood from her cheek. Another shower would be in order when they got back.

“Well,” Greyson took the lead back to the truck, “you handled yourself pretty well.”

Cam scoffed. “It was only imps, nothing life threatening.”

“Excuse me?” He squealed behind his shoulder as they hopped back onto the road. “Had that imp got that spell off, you’d be missing skin. Be grateful and take the compliment.”

For the first time in a while, Cam smiled a genuine smile and shoved Greyson in response. “Fine, I did good.”

As they got back in the truck, a wicked idea crossed Cam’s mind. “Can we...do another?”

They pulled into hunter HQ just after six, soaked to the bone in a layer of daemon blood, ichor, mucus and a myriad of other daemon fillings. Cam was absolutely beaming, though; she’d raked in over three grand worth of gil, finished five hunts and was alive to tell the tale. But the money wasn’t the appeal to her. The hunts proved to be excellent therapy. Hard to be down when you’re shooting at a flan.

Greyson had to shake his head. “You’re taking to this like a fish to water. I’m impressed.”

“You’re telling me.”

They hopped out of the truck, gathered their earnings for the fifth time today, and pulled up a seat at the food vendor. The cook took their order, Greyson jabbing at Cam that she ought to pay for them as she was moneybags right now, and Cam took a long sip of her well-earned beer. When she looked up over the rim of her glass, they weren’t alone.

A shorter man with a blonde frock strolled up, and Cam recognized him, though she couldn’t place him. “I know you,” she announced, chewing her thumbnail. “Have we met?”

He was bashful all of a sudden. “Oh! Uhh well no, not exactly.” He pulled something from his backpack, a photo album, and slid it over to her. “Check out near the back, the one labelled Lestallum.”

Curious, Cam did as she was told, flipping through a bunch of pages at once until she found the correct grouping. A few random shots of kids playing, an older man dealing cards, the sunset over the meteor…

Her heart ached at the sight, but she kept scanning through the photos, until she saw her younger self looking back at her from behind the Reynold’s family produce stand.

A face of innocence. Ignorance. It truly was bliss, back then.

“You took my picture,” Cam looked up at him, a small smile on her lips. “Good to see you…?”

“Prompto,” He offered, pulling up a seat. “I never got your name, either. We’re really bad at introductions!”

Cam nodded. “We are. Name’s Cam. This here’s Grey-”

“Yeah, I know this lug,” Greyson gave Prompto a little fist bump. “What’s new, bud?”

Cam had every intention of listening to their conversation, until the color red not appeared in her peripherals. She glanced over, and wish she hadn’t.

The siren leaned against the wall of the armory, exposing her neck for Cam’s soulmate to plant a hungry kiss along her jawline, and then another, and then another for good measure. His hands ghosted over the perfect dips of her waist and hips, rounding around to her backside to press her close to his body. She bit her lip before letting out a heavy breath, grabbing a fistful of his cocoa shag and bringing his lips against hers.

The wind was knocked out of Cam and her hip ignited, a branding iron to her sides as she watched on in pain, pain she couldn’t stop no matter how tight she squeezed her lids shut. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, anything to distract her from the assault, but nothing brought salvation. Nothing could get the image of the red haired woman and the man marked for her, out of her mind.

It wasn’t fair. He was destroying her. 

She didn’t even know his name.

As the woman dipped to kiss his neck, his eyes found Cam and he stared, an expression she couldn’t decipher in his liquid eyes.

It was too much.

Right as the cook brought out their dishes, Cam flung some gil on the table and stormed off, her fingernails cutting red crescents into her palms.

[mcdoogly]

Mother’s Day

Obligatory Mother’s Day fic, with Frisk and MKid trying to giver her a good day! It’s fun writing cute again, maybe I’ll start doing it more often.

It was the day before mother’s day, and Frisk and Monster Kid were sitting in the living room of New New Home, plotting what they were going to do for Frisk’s adoptive mother. The two, being kids and all, hadn’t the expenses to do anything overly extravagant, but they also didn’t want to do undersell how much Toriel meant to the human. Currently, the two were brainstorming, trying to figure out what they could do for the ex-queen.

“Hmm,” MK thought out loud, “What about breakfast in bread? Moms always appreciate that!”

Frisk shook her head. “No, that’s too basic. Everyone does it.”

“Yeah, I s’pose.” The monster furrowed his brow. “Take her out to brunch?”

She fell back against the couch, sighing. “That won’t work either. It’ll be way too crowded and people would bug her because she was the queen.”

“Maybe go on a bike ride or a hike!” Monster Kid offered, though he immediately deflated when Frisk gave him a confused look. “Yeah… I don’t think she’d like that either.”

“Well…” He spoke up again after a few minutes of thought, “what about a day at the spa? It probably won’t be too expensive and I bet she could use a day of relaxation from teaching and all that.”

Frisk opened her mouth as if to object before her face lightened up. “That’s perfect, MK! She’d love it!” The human whipped out her phone and typed in the word ‘spa’ blazingly fast. “The nearest one isn’t too far away and it only costs… one hundred and forty dollars.” The pair deflated as she spoke the price, both of them knowing that they have very little chance of having that much money on them at the moment.

Monster Kid reached into his pocket and snagged out his wallet with his teeth. “I have twelve dollars from my allowance left over for the week, give or take.” He said as he fished through the bills and coins.

“I only a twenty that mom gave me a few days ago.” Frisk flopped back against the couch, her hands on her head as she tried to think. “That leaves over a hundred dollars to go, and we have less than a day to get it.” She sighed, letting out a frustrated breath.

“Well we could always do some little jobs to try to get money from the neighbors!” MK said excitedly, “It’s a bit too late to set up a lemonade stand but we can still collect cans and stuff like that to make some money.”

“Yeah! That could work!” Frisk said, shooting up off the couch. “I bet with a little bit of elbow grease we could make that money up no problem!” She noticed the monster’s face fall a bit and realized her mistake. “Sorry.”

“No time for that! Let’s go!” The two leapt from where they were sitting and ran out the door, both determined to make enough to treat Toriel.

The sun was setting slowly beneath Mt. Ebbot when MK and Frisk sat defeated on the couch again. The human chimed up, “How much money did you get?”

Monster kid sat sadly on the floor on his belly. “Two dollars. You?”

“Fifty cents.” Frisk let out a morose sigh, “and it’s way too late to go out now. What are we gonna do?”

“Can you cook? We can still do breakfast in bed.”

Just as they had given up all hope, two, heavy knocks came on the door. Asgore stepped through, poking his head into the living room, his eyes lighting up when he saw Frisk and MKid lying on the couch.

“Howdy Frisk! Oh, and hello Monster Kid, what are you two doing?” he said as he walked towards the old couch, the king quickly noticing how glum the pair was. “What has got you two down? Is something the matter?”

“We wanted to get mom a nice day at the spa for mother’s day, but we couldn’t get the money.” Frisk showed him the handful of loose change and bills, counting up roughly to a quarter of what they needed. “We spent the whole day trying to get the as much as we needed but this is all we have.”

The king looked thoughtfully at the money. “That is a predicament indeed…” he said, before smiling at the child. “Well it’s a good thing your mother invited me over tonight, because I think I can strike you a deal.” He pulled out his phone, and took the change from Frisk. “I’ll call in a reservation for Toriel and pay for the amount of money you couldn’t make up. All that I ask in return is that you promise to keep quiet and say that I didn’t pay for a thing. I had no part in this, agreed?”

Both of the children smiled and nodded enthusiastically, making Asgore chuckle. “I thought so,” he added, smiling as he dialed the spa places number. He looked at the two as he hit the call button. “I’d suggest you two get ready for dinner. Your mother will be home any minute, Frisk, and I don’t doubt that she’ll gladly let you stay for dinner Monster Kid.”

Dinner went well, with every member of the party enjoying their fill. Toriel was utterly unable to put enough food on either Asgore or Frisk’s plates, especially when it came to pie with the former. Monster Kid eventually was picked up by his parents and said his goodbyes to the Dreemurrs shortly before the family decided they were going to bed. Asgore and Toriel retired in the old queen’s room, the two finally sharing a bed again as they fell into a quick sleep. Toriel woke up what felt like a few minutes later, the warm morning sun sparkling in her eyes as she yawned.

Somehow, during the night, Asgore had managed to wrap his arms around her in his sleep, making the queen chuckle as she pulled her arms free and wedged herself from his grip. She watched him as he clutched at the sheets again in his sleep, trying to keep the fluffy warmth of his queen close to him. Deep, gentle murmurs came from him as he settled again, the king sighing and stretching in his sleep. Toriel could only giggle as she watched him, his gentle mannerisms still present as he slept.

She went off to the kitchen, yawning as she set the water to boil. She had grown almost dependant on her coffee in the morning, the next few hours feeling like a slog if she didn’t have her daily dose of caffeine.

“You think I would let you cook breakfast on mother’s day of all days, Tori?” The words surprised her, taking her from her dreams off coffee beans and hot water. She turned around and smiled at Asgore, his hair all unkempt and his belly showing through his loose t-shirt. He looked very different from what he looked like way back when he had his royal duties to attend to, but to her, that wasn’t a bad thing.

She laughed, the gentle titter of her voice alone making Asgore smile. “I thought you were going to sleep through it, but I wouldn’t mind being waited on today.” The two traded places, Asgore handling the stove as Toriel sat down at the kitchen table.

“You prefer coffee now, right?” He asked, pulling the kettle from the heat as it began to whistle. “I brought some more tea for you if you used it all already, though I think the school staff has you trained.”

Toriel giggled at his joke. “Actually… tea sounds very good right now, thank you. Coffee works at getting me up, but it’s the last thing I want if I’m having a lazy sunday morning.”

“Planning to relax today?”

“You could say that. Having someone cook for you is the first step for that, I suppose.”

“Well,” he said as he offered her a mug of tea, “ I think Frisk has a very nice surprise for you then.”

“Oh, really?” Toriel said with a sly smirk, reading through Asgore’s attempts at keeping a secret. “Frisk told you this?”

“Don’t look at me,” he cried, “All I know is that a certain spa might have a reservation for a certain beautiful monster today, and it was entirely Frisk’s idea.”

“Uh-huh,” Toriel said after taking a sip of her tea, setting it down. “And I’m guessing that a certain long haired goat had nothing to do with it at all, hmm?”

He grinned as he sat down next to her, taking a drink from his own mug. “Of course not. Now why would I do that?”

[glopratchet]

delivery-two

Delivery boy: You mean you actually gave a crap about the people that worked for you? How to increase rank in the Empire: Get more people to work for you The Emperor's Emissary: I'm sure they'll be happy to see me again A messenger arrives at your door with a letter from the Emperor himself He also has a small bag of gold coins and some gems hidden inside it One person does not have to nessary complete every single quest available if you want to please the Emperor and his friend Velzix Its all up to you, if you find an area that seems a bit dry or lacking then just focus your attention somewhere else The game will not be over until the ending is reached so don't worry too much about it right now Once all key deliveries are completed you can unlock and urgent delivery which gets you out of the gates of hell How to reach the ending in Rebellion: Very simple Be as evil as humanly possible! Prison Torture: The goal here is to reach the end of the prison while avoiding going insane from the constant nightmares and fear that runs rampent through this place, run afoul of any demons and their cameras or beasts patrolling and your story ends rather abruptly Complete the urgent quest and you will advance to the next rank You can explore the next set of zones below and attempt to set up shop as an Evil vendor but its tricky since both the humans and demons will try to steal from you or otherwise hinder your ability to do business automatically Pick any of these three paths that you wish but in order to meet the Architect and reach your end goal you must achieve the final rank and then make the trek to the burned out farm where Mr Barnacle's body was found Every fight in the game is a boss fight so prepare for that and avoid the cameras, as usual Every alligator requires some degree of stragtehy not matter what gear you have equipped Mutators take around 20 minutes to respawn while Ghouls can be as soon as 5 Thugs and demons ; (omnitruck hijackers) will usually take a few hours to respawn Architect demons Eternals will take 1-3 days Careful planning is needed when hunting in zones teeming with life Rule #1 Demons are evil monsters that must be destroyed without remorse by the hand of god Using an end gator weapon on a four foot yearling wont count squat if you dont know what you are doing You will have to fight bigger ones later on Live traps can be anything from cage to container for holding live prey for a long time Rarely beasts captured with them are still alive when you encounter them later so keep that in mind You must be prepared Ignorance of your enemy's terrain is not an excuse, the bible explicitly tells man what his limitations and guides him past potential missteps in life so that he need not die by them Item set-up For now a cross, wooden or otherwise will do but you'll probably want to trade it out later Quick trip to Home Depot: Ignore the headless socket torsos attached to the walls and focus Make sure its tight knit with silver for the job A silver sword would definitely be good since the halfassed crucifix you just carved would be likely to break before the job is done Basic strategy Always try to kill upwards Investors as they will leave minions behind Tryton in the mail which usually take a few days to reach you so be on the lookout for them! Good Hunting Keep at it guard yourself properly and eventually you'll earn upgrades from Mr Rage: Endurance: Use this time to familiarize yourself with your newfound powers and always, always stay away from sunlight Last thing you need is to sparkle like a vampire from those twilight books And guides to the alligators that appear in the Everglades First things first make a chariorot or take one from the Everglades region It will be your home base for now but remember you will need to rely on yourself soon Once that is done check Part 1 of this guide as it tells some more stuff you need to know to get yourself ready It was surely tempting for Tryton to give all his teachers small portions of immortality because the old bastards were getting on his case about when he was going to take over the school Thats already made it pretty far up there in Mostiak's regard so he's probably alrteady launching his own plans something involving toxic waste, late 80s metal music and midgets wrestling or whatever sick freaks enjoy Don given you some crucifixes - which is a holy object dear to almighty God so its certaint to make for an interesting story when the superintendent finds them on you next time you get scanned Process the alligator first as fat from it will make great fire fuel, strip out the meat for future meals and tan the hide for leather to make other things youll need with man for now; youll need to wait at least a day for him to come to and even then it still might be best just killing him now then having him on your case in the future Set aside the delivery He looks like a chubby softy but could be a badass underground fighter for all you know he doesn't look it though Set aside the delivery man for now; Once you have done that you need to carve the crucifix from the most sacred wood around here, grown by angels themselves and commissioned by Tryton himself no doubt, and set it up in the basement Finally though youve got some Free time! Now while you wait for orders from your master or for the arrival of what you're sure is another annoying human escort remember to stary adding to this guide If you bring a grill you can cook the left overs on it Teaches you how to prepare corpses and humans for consumption if needed too Cleaning: Look after yourflesh hook and it'll look after you If it gets rusty or breaks, you're shtuck Movements: See someone you'd like to eat? You better get a good swing in quickly before they start running because youwon'tget a second chance if they do Rare medium well done Gather herbs overnight for potions if you have a mortar and pestle ; (P) Ask Tryton for duties to help improve your standing in the castle, more supplies etc Collect mushrooms once you an see them ; (P) Scavenge food ; Staying Safe: Never present yourself as a suitable target, humans will always go for the weakest ones first Eating habits: Keep hydrated eater your enemies are often wounded prey in need of healing SALVATION IN THE BELLY OF THE ENEMY IS SALVATION FOR YOU Collect honey when possible ; Call those in your domain ; (zombies etc) to you if far from castle ; Find a partner in crime when doing work outside the castle like scavenging, set out together and meet separately so it looks like you're always alone Combine items in certain order and recive a resulting potion food etc collect ingredients for these outside the castle ; Once you aken enough territory were you able to roam as you like find an isolated farmhouse to use as your own so you have a steady food supply Call it your territory and mark it in someway Sometimes things will look hopeless and you will have put the controller down for the duration of the night ; (or possibly days depending on how bad it is) If you "die"then set back to your previous save You have run out of potions PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF It's been 2 years now and you havn't returned home You have fainted twice from hunger and thirst It's not just the zombies and mutants you have to worry about in the wild You join a group of survivors after giving them the score They seem OK and at least you'll have someone to watch your back in future, as long as you're all alive of course can't trust anyone now can you? Gathering quests begin ; Take castle de questiosn ; Run around gathering enough items required to complete the quest or create a diversion if timed needed ; Do You come across other survivors? Day turns to night, its when the undead walk the earth so take extra care not to be caught in open ; Its your birthday! Happy Birthday PCGeneration! WORLD NOT ENDING! questiosn begain? Someone needs honey you know where to find it When you get a message about visitors in need request diplomatics to help them ; Gather your allies and attack the stronghold the humans are hiding in whilst they are at there weakest ; Forge a weapon from a singular piece of metal you managed to scavenge ; Refine these herbs you found into potions ; You could sell them if you want Travel to the hive and get it to join your army ; Wait for most of the stronger creatures to leave then have your zombies swarm in for the leftovers ; You have gathered enough ingredients to make zombi converted henchmen after you drink the solution yourself first ; Give yourself a breather from all the fighting even if it means becoming one of them ; Gather your group and prepare them mentally as much as possible before hitting the road again else you must keep those you care for alive at any and all costs Above all Dont break the egg if you opt to hold it for the monarch but take it as proof of your deed if you require a trophy Temporary Quests For The Meantime Teach your followers how to shoot ; Send your more competent followers out on their first mission ; Zombie invasion! Protect the castle ; Bored? Some times your weapon will bounce off the armoured shells unless they can be flipped over This may require several people working together Abandon the delivery quests and just take full control of the warehouse ; Make a tank like thekind from World Of Warcraft, purely for arsing about in ; Great lizardskull mohWAITWHATTHEHELLBREATHINGSKULLTHATCANTBE Perfect beeing: a delivery game in which you help a bee make it's home ; Use it to take over the warehouse but request that your smaller army of zedead be priviledged with special treatment ; Now they're slow shambling creatures but when one catches you with its bite it's game over Your most basic pounch set up is the starting point for consolidating smaller groups under your leadership ; Good luck horder Presently this quillon is more of an inconvenience than anything else There will be time to make it ornamental later you'll settle for even a little dip in penalty against these blasted infected today is a good day and your time protecting the travellers escorting an ammo truck to the bunker has come to an end Ten potions- use these to recover from minor injuries (reduceshunger mode) One Launcher- reloads automatically ; (self-obvious) Five Grenades Clearly the Lords believed in you giving you the best gear right at the beginnin The Centralized resident's badge will also allow you access to some good areas before the fact Ten mega potions use these to hear after sustaining a major injury inhunger mode ; (reduces your size) Two rifles can be merged together and mounted on your back as a bipod for use with the launcher ; (alternative fire1) Two seeker Jumps-boots that allow short bursts of flight when activated ; (space key) ; (slowly drains power while in use) Two Med kits, very basic but they stop wounds from bleeding out and restore a small amount of health instantly and your healing potion is replaced by a slow release Must combine them from stratch You have one more day before they come for you and this one is yours to do with what you will you can share the other equipment between them too in order for your strain of Creutzfeld-jacobs disease to strengthen and replenish you faster The Lords did you a solid definitely Three or more paintballs placed in a cluster in an infected head guarantees death of that zed ; (and then itstay's dead! Divide your new slave horde in two and set them to attack two seperate large hordes far apart from each other ; Prepare a larger army using all three donated zedead types in the immediate area ; All your new technology is giving you plenty of new options in life Hit an alligator with a paintball and they will be visible on the map for a minmum of ten minutes even if they move ; Same for wolves and cactorises, bears, snakes and deadly small animals as long as the paintball hits them ; Prepare for the bunker with four seekers, four nanocycline-sups and eight piehce & Murdoch ; Maybe suicide two groups of 8+ ZEDS from two of the major hordes in the near future ; (P)Yes That's it Ten minutes can be renewed if another is thrown before it runs out Also increases their intelligence by 50% Alternatively select all infected within 2000 metres of you and absorb them over a period of 4 hours ; It'll destroy their minds but keep them stronger for longer They will also lose all immunity to any symptoms, being able to be slowed, shambled, sneezed or shocked at any time ; (even without your potions or DNA path) Well done steaks decrease hunger need a way to cook them ; Confirm that it is only lasts 8 hours then dissipate You fire back ; With DNA, Pathfind, Camoflage, Hourglass, all their seeking, poisonous and explosive powers one by one 20 whetstone- use these to sharpen your weapon or projectiles and increase the damage ; (sharpening already adds damage) by between 10% and 50% ; Grab 8 infected, dip dart tips in poison, throw for maximum tissue damage poison ; Trip 22 of their32 genes ; (leaving just a zed-dull), fun plus cruelty but less danger to you ; (no more 28-day limit) ; (realistic path only) ; Burn all internal organs to a cinder ; (realistic path (10x)whetstones for your razor, (100x)arrows ; (wooden ones burn great! Items- Dung bombs; ( dung bomb ) Clothes: Padded overalls Trap: Snare trap Treasure; (6x) Gold Coins Sap plant All plant extract can be used to coat your arrows or weapons for small increase in damage ; (some plants are poison and will harm you) Clear ichor is a plant steroid that wil increase the damage of arrows and weapons slightly for about a half hour, but will addict you to it and take ten minutes for your body to stop craving it each time you use it Casing ; ( sap plant stone/iron ) Null berries will protect a small area from zed-chem smell and other smell based attacks for aproximately 4 hours Salve will help you survive bearhugs ; (and ONLY bearhugs) by weakening the zeduplication process, you'll still die eventually though (not that growers will care Parasite is a failed experiment that doesn't seem to do anything Thanks government! And finally your blood, which can be used ; (with caution! Sonic bombs will make you deaf for several hours after constant use, even with earplugs Try to build different classes of weapons starting with bows and arrows ; Good idea! Water blight and other plants ; ( dully moss walnut ) Something has infected you! hp: -50 psy: -40 It's already dissapeared, scouting ahead you reconize the path! it was the psy contagion no way to know if it was an accident or the colony is fighting again Turn back and wait for your health to regen or carry on? Alligators are weakest to ice followed by fire water and thunder Please wait to next round! Crystal bones will these work? Deliver 4 gold fish infected are drawn to it! Deadly nightshade kills in pretty colours Dull moss will stop ichor based infection in an open wound Expose self as a psyhorium slave, gain their trust, wreak havoc inside and outbreak! Some alligators will need you to bring energy drinks to keep them happy! If you can grow them from seeds you get to double your XP! Memory jar; (fruit) will remember your parents faces and play back holographically, emotions and all, but its very fragile Metal toxin Sadly you cannot research any poisonous plants anymore High reach is advised when fighting raiders ; (unreached) Weapom tip upgrades, (bone shards) turn a spear into a piercer Dull moss, stops ichor based infections in an open wound Constantly move, strafing around you and quickly starfing you must allways be moving! behind cover Green Thunder 5000 gets you an amazing 7 for 7 bee headshots 1800! overkill Health potion heals 20 health Was that you or something else? it moved so fast, it also shut closed the door lncorrectly badly twisted the hinges finally it approaches, a black leathery creature, like a wingless gargoyle Watch out for the posion bite It bites at youre head, roll again if possible! You miss the bite but it tries for your neck now, rolling sideways you fake left then go right and HEY! it; s still alive! grants hurtt 800 ; (a roll above 900 means death) Forcing it off with your legs you draw your bow and KRRCHCHCH CRRKKK! Yeha! just like p-dag! GAME OVER! Speeder spider zombies, move fast like lynx, hide well but are slower at climbing Picking up 3 healing leaves heals 6 hp Poor windoors work until they are strong enough to shatter windows! Battle suit saves you from 2/3's of all potential injury no matter your health! You got lucky there Gore magala are not particularly aggressive unless attacked first, then deadly as all **** Burrowing lizards might have their own nest somewhere Peaceful and powerful these bizzare plant-animal hybreds will run away if inclined, Very intelligent But if hurt they will totally forsake thier herbivore natures and fight back viciously with thornmails of acid! Moar luag! Glopratchet rank smell 10 out of 10! Play a crazy wildcard hand of 36! Then pick your favorite food to eat Over cooked some bacon ; (enemy! ) 550! gory crisp crits thats 7 for 18 or 36 if you include the 4 extra from overkill! more health potions please! The whole pack incinerated, no survivors warning playing with fire can get burned! Glopratchet rank smell 10 out of 10! Alright welcome to gloptrachte rank Did you use violent methelmorphatic powers on ELDER GOD beings; (ask if your not sure)? Moar! More! But with competition this time You cannot fall while a enemy is still alive! You have strange premonitions of fighting off worlds armies alongside each other against a common foe Nahhh The old man, like all super mutants is very strong and tough, although lacking in spped he will try for bomb first Alright welcome to gloptrachte rank 9! Clickbait: And How you Can Get Tired of it in 1 Second A ex black-op member who must now kill all members of his old team before an organisation is passed the information that he still lives You succeed killing the 2 remaining beavos but fall off a balcony and break your legs The year is 20XX Here is wehre you get the title of one of the most difficult video game ever made Due ot thge activiy of various organizatins such as vice mil and united knights Here is wehre you get the title of one of the most difficult video game ever made! so far in this game You have made over 25 maps but this is different This map has grass that is maroon! popularnuty? it's better than what you've already made popular tbqh mmmmkk it might just Alligators in g rank hit a ton harder than anything you have faced yes! take of lots of work though The stegosaurus has an odd paralell with technology The spikes on its back, shaped like tall buildings this is no tyrano saurus Alligators in g rank hit a ton harder than anything you have faced so far in this game Its not uncommon to faint once or twice during a delivery even when wearing end gator gear Get a motorbike with spikes and barbwire weaves The greatest games end up in movies, books, even cartoons! And even if they are bad, people still watch them because they get hyped up so much! Sadly the best thing you can say about this park is that it's better than being homeless Make a new chariot as soon as you hit g rank Make a new chariot as soon as you hit g rank! Sometimes trackers will leave the comfort of towns and cities One noted : "Out there, the game watches you back morbidus lake ; (unconfirmed): Known to be a fishing spot of tragic deaths and suicides, It is unknown if it is the lake itself or something living within this lake holds an endanger amount offish and swimmer have claimed it as the best they ever fished Tetsucabra x Tetsucabra x 3 Hotel ; (encorperated 5 years ago, joined W 2 years ago) Seregios Hotel works on the basis that cleanliness is next to Godliness So it affords its guest live musical entertainment ; (BAND)son the hour and provides a 5 star chef who specialized in lobster thermidor Sadly guest comments about the rooms always are: TOO BUGGY! Seregios Seregios Hotel ; Regios x Regios most majestic sight, the auroras above the large canal Regios x8 grow wild here They are the main ingredient in birthday pie, a rich man's treat You befriended this merchant when selling him night lanterns for his trading cart He invited to eat with him and you accepted He was going to rob you but your nature won him over and he didn't Birthday berries Birthday berries grow wild here is the only way to lure out plugs but all lizards do is fall over No further strategy is involved here How to make money by 'pimping' bugs! Buy a loan of snails from a merchant at a bazzar ; ( Exchange a few night lanterns) They reproduce rapidly and can be spent down equally as quick by selling their slime as a mentch remedy, They nuturalise hallucenogenic compounds and even cures minor poisons Chasing tail Chasing tail is the only way to lure out plugs but all lizards do is fall over It creates a spike in the ground which increases the size of the hitbox and makes it a bit harder to avoid The hitbox, upon collison with a monster OR player knocks them up in the air Would require testing but some of W (wildlife regulators of non-clashese handbook) suggest this could even work on larger creatures such as giants and barbwires! Alligator Gar Association deathmatching event incase you don't feel like hunting Berserk tetsucabra popcorn, sodas and toilets are all free, however everything else is docked from your winnings There aren't as many bogs but they're deeper ANDyou will meet the most wealthiest hunters here-friendly faces will abound! The hotel has been approved to be stable structure so it wont collapse on you during sleep- You always have the option to pitch a tent! Berserk tetsucabra deathmatching event incase you don't feel like hunting Blouder that explode after crunching them drinking an antidote for poison spewed from a flower? breaking wind to move raft faster? No wonder hunters get themselves into so much trouble here items needed: Creature resitance to fire, Bring fishing rod and antiderinter ; (it's always good bring an antidote) Bloodfins are small fish with sharp teeth Blouder that explode after crunching them? Multi-gator species with the smallest being only 15cm and the largest 1 Venoammic: rare 0 2% chance of popping up in any given body of water even islands are hosts to these creatures, everything eats them to they've adapted SUCKING UP everything around them but the list of what wont eat is shorter Dont let them drain your stamina! Multi-gator species with the smallest being only 15cm and the largest 1 Fashion victim Venoammics scary because of there weak sc'; aw, it's actually their skin that we should be fearing! Both male and female venoammic's skin release a colourless, odourless, tasteless liquid that when expoded forcefully enough it covers nostrils and floods the mouth of its enemies in a detergent which coat'es the lungs with mucus and ruins the taste buds The worst bit? There gunks are firequently laced with poison They go quickly down! Primarily predators there used to fighting fishes that OUTNUMBER them WITHOUT teamwork! They managed to AMPutate there predator: prey ratio with the simple smartness of cooperation and playing defencively Topple You can be smarter then your enemy, it's not about tactics or strength it's all in your mind games! Tapeworm: Inner lands fish, they're longer than islands measuring up to 100m but only 3cm think Topple: Pivot in circle vs awakardly shuffling around It's no fun pulling fishes teeth out-WHY NOT! How machine gun toothfish operate, They claim a 5: 1 kill to death ratio if used in proper numbers with other toothfish With these enemies lets hope you remembered you troutslappas! These can be plentiful in fresh-water bodies and taste like both fish and flesh YOU EAT EVERYTHING, RIGHT? Eacht delivery needs a name and number some collectors specialise in singles- only ever having one growing cyst Just choose your number! share them on twin caves! give them pet names! added friends to moabit kill list GREAT thats a good start Eacht delivery needs a name and number, Grand finals confrontation "Din knows your name and I won't stop singing it! " the chief yells slam some dusty VHS tapes in dvd players to capture this battle forever 3 venoms rollypolyp is never safe these crucificuses fleep robots are more brutal than those from ghoul catcher island! roll on that death curing ointment! Serptintine samba -no, no this is where you want to be with venemous friends Sieze slot machine arm handles ouse leave angry venomous witnesses behind when you leave They were guarding chances for richer jackpots life's full of richters! they'er only planet identiusonides with tarantula symbols-worth scaninating? Serptintine samba-no, Serpent serande a garland of Garcias for being host with the most! your the conquerer of a poison circus "you'll have venom trance nightmares about me" the chief laughed, "the devils defecating dreams don't have a quarter of the cruelty I've stored for you! " he spat "This island is my empire! I'll flood it with five times more poison then planned and drown every one of your allies up there! Serpent serande a garland of Garcias for being host with the most! Death and taxidermy lessons learnt-no no no! keep this voodoo addiction under the hood, I'll hate what everyone will be able to learn about you! Death and taxidermy lessons learnt-no no no! Primate plunder No! I'll be above using the skulls of fallen friends and family for decor! however The "Black mandrill" that the monkeys fondly call it need a new name after killing it right? Despite all animals on moabit adapting to include venom whys theirs an apparent shortage of cobras? Be the first on your island to keep one as a pet AND be one of the greatest animal trappers/pet owners of all time use mines to get one Hunger games qualification-you can NEVER leave prey alive, even if it mocks your pitiful life with a sadistic smile the 2nd rule of the hunger games isn't a suggestion Everybody loves a circus-only happy families visit islands 4, and 6! if you want to make more of them you need more people alive! poison is out, melee weapons are the way forward if you want the crowd cheering and kids snatching at toys based on your adventures! Sellout? Hunger games qualification-you can NEVER leave prey alive, Line in the sand there is human and then there's everyone else Monkeys, snakes and fish are fine recycling their organs but humans? never! too sentient a clown goes inhuman, he takes a knife to his own wife and son first you must be willing to lesser evils for the greater good of humanity! like eating peoples livers and spitting out their eyes So do you want to live looking inwards or act looking outwards towards others? Line in the sand, Chumming the waters for monthly feedback to keep you stunted and smallor, or feeding the masses your deepest darkest secrets for a seat at the world rulers table? Bombshell! you've been selected by Huntress to become her apprentice in harvesting island 4! Now she needs toaudience, doesn't matter good or bad just as long asomeone's watching She can copy anything after all Chumming the waters for monthly feedback to keep you stunted and smallor, torcher twins or Triple trouble? itonly matters in packaging, Victoria will try them Echo, jason, sleepyhead, bonnie and clyde they're only good as groups name either way they're always up for ave addertion trust is their super power plan ahead and never break it Bug be gone of the terrible twins hypodermic needle folk they're only ever giving medication never withhold for the greater good Bug be gone of the terrible twins torcher twins or Triple trouble? with the yawn toxin! keep away from the left one it'll turn you into a ghoul keeping you inside the clown organ farm to work for eternity For island 7 select the asmocita's cow to three armed shreiker monkey "Handful of cheeky monkeys as night watchmen what fun! Do I get one as a pet? use it as a hat? Both alligators are infected Both alligators are infected with the yawn toxin! Just bring nullberries to conter the frenzy Just don't let them out of your sight for a second, they are evil incarnite, little demons! "Your right their intent is to seduce human males into an indecent act by stripping Tell them to tone it down or strip themselves it's one or the other "Trust rating? how much? " numbers represent actual trust "+10/-1" Queen substance can be procurred from desert seltas and selta's shinies tested and tried for thousands of years you know it'll keep you going Huntress can copy anything once ; (just once! ) but only after seeing it in person and remember it vividly think carefully on this you decide what's the best use! Now go "Send trusted""" "Send trusted""" The front page is nothing but quests and friend adverts nowadays! And then there's you, the warrior, with it's offerings of bloodthirsty quests and exciting dangers One eye glances across it with disinterest before a shiver goes down your spin at the second page, with it's dark backgrounds pussy after all? Scared of a few ghosts? The front page is nothing but quests and friend adverts nowadays! Go get the honey then hoping carefully lest the bee's get you first Three types of bees here regional, island and crystal and we want the crystal ones unless you're allergic in which case you can take your pick beating the raw meat to get a rise out of them by flying away just as you approach you have any food on you? That'll do splendidly "it looks like all these fine fellows need is a little Input Go get the honey then hoping carefully lest the bee's get you first by donating 50 pages worth of memory USB sticks to hang beside their tank! "The ants outnumber you 10, 000 to 1 so ensure you brought at least 10, 000 of your closest friends! Alligators are sick go heal them Alligators are sick go heal them by donating 50 pages worth of memory USB sticks to hang beside their tank! Alligator virus is spreading must heal them all by bringing 50 of each bandages colors! A whole island , 6 feet under in the form of graves! Zombies, naturally walk, some shamble toward you The hungry ones break into a run, fast ones are only just coming onto the scene learn their Schwifty* phase: white eyes and green gasping breath mixed with sharp claws and brandished weapons almost indistinguishable from your kind Only darting maneuvers will do now so do them quickly! Alligator virus is spreading must heal them all by bringing 50 of each bandages colors! Need alligator tail pronto The choice is always yours, but your actions have consequences You can read this towering pillar of words from top to bottom and side to side Airships float around the edges of the page as more and more things seem to get written on it as time goes on Need alligator tail pronto! after a not so grand battle with a large beast, you walk away with it's laser rifle in hand as more burst onto the scene It doesn't take long before someone has working knowledge of how to use one Then someone else Then everyone New players are led by Graham and Chortleplex in the newly renamed Outland Republic Religion finally stands a real chance now that our enemies have left the stage At last you finally come toe to toe with the seregios resistances from the eyes, thumbs and teeth sold separately Mind the cow implant how to keep up with the required food intake Great: now even our medical commercials sound like threats Staring at numbers is no longer a chore when every single scene makes our book longer Why would you ever want to go outside again, when literally everything is available to you right here? And the best part? Bleeding ailment Bleeding ailment resistances from the eyes, Health will decrease as you spring or evade our traps unless you read ahead to avoid them Santology ups it's security substantially every time something happens which results in self-driving cars and trucks becoming the new norm soon enough because even future-you is bound to be stopped by the odd rogue android or crazed AI one day right? And it's not just atheists talking to rocks or aliens anymore; we all talk to our firearms now thanks to limited AI modifications Health will decrease as you spring or evade our traps unless you read ahead to avoid them Mosswine jerky or steaks to cure a wide variety of poisons! Work quickly and all the cheats are right here in this ice You can't trust the ice It's not normal for a human being to end life as one, but then you've never been one it melting And suddenly you're looking through the eyes of a dung beetle, situated between some hair-like growths on a massive plant Mosswine jerky or steaks to cure a wide variety of poisons! Farm for equipment or grow wealthy with crops! Watch out for zealous manhunters though, they cling on everything After eating an antload driver on his way to work one morning he decided he was allergic to three kinds of food and disliked the other sixty two types He pouts in a room made completely out of turnips "Run awaaaaay! Run or shoot back? Ooh, these ones seem to make people's faces melt off! Farm for equipment or grow wealthy with crops! Beast not quite busted says disgruntled shametheft Vagrom ultraprejudiced pigfarmers, insane children and loud excuses to be violent What kind of column is this? Beast not quite busted, Brute tigrex Has this guy even been outdoors before? Apparently not all ancients perished during the great war! After several skirmishes with these long necked, spike shelled terrors you enter a canyon and suddenly feel eyes watching you A perked ear, flicked tail and strange skin pattern indicates it's in an ambush position Soon you meet beast number one! It takes all your skill to dodge clumsy attacks as they try to anticipate your tactics Brute tigrex? having sabotaged most projectile weapons you resort to sportsmanlike melee tactics Fortunately that's when the benefits of evolution kick in and they become docile vegetarians that enjoy folk music Temper tantrum somehow babies want crunchy things to eat Great Terror birds Nobody likes terror birds Temper tantrum having sabotaged most projectile weapons you resort to sportsmanlike melee tactics Showdown with the dreaded emperor! is that a tape on his head? Apparently these fellows aren't as dangerous as the local news made them out to be After some dancing to distract it from the gunshot victim that was your first kill away from home you hopped on the back of this giant flying swamp lizard and wrestled with the strange metal helmet for victory! Showdown with the dreaded emperor! Brute tigrez is a true force to be reckoned with How did i not think of hunting these sooner? The new superheated, phoenix and explosive rounds tore through the hordes of scavenging birds that threatened my planet Simple modified explosive arrows for the smaller scavengers and airships and cryo arrows for the feared harpies themselves 2x, 3x, 5x? Let's try 63x! Brute tigrez is a true force to be reckoned with! Topple or mount the alligator to access the tail you'll need it for it's poison to make medicine and gunpowder! From up there you can invite new friends to join your village which now has running electricity, hot food and fast transportation! I'm glad I had these beast masters and engineers, lets see the beast master! 8 large carnivorous frog creatures, each with unique abilities will really improve my odds against the next menace! Pretty birds It's illegal to kill pretty birds but they try to kill me Topple or mount the alligator to access the tail! Things go south very quickly after she becomes enraged and being forced to kill her before she killed me But I managed to reassert myself as a force in this land with the assistance of my new friends, the apex predators Things go south very quickly after she becomes enraged and being forced to kill her before she killed me readily available in survival so you can charge headfirst into battle From sniper to shock troop, from weak and skinny ex-farmboy to leader of monsters, I now control an army that dares the world to stand against me Come here lover, I promise it'll only hurt for a little bit A grotersquely high increase in speed and damage buff that might make a single hit ruin your day A grotersquely high increase in speed and damage buff that might make a single hit ruin your day readily available in survival so you can charge headfirst into battle Nobody knows that better than you You grunt loudly while slamming the ragged chunk of tooth against the cutting edge of your triangular shaped tribal knife Breaking teeth takes a lot of hard work Little bits of blood and saliva fly out from between your teeth as you angrily bite down, your face twisting in pain Beads of sweat form on your forehead and roll down to join others, previous drops already there The tail can also be severed but this requires specialized training and tools as well as specialized poison for the blade, you think It would also hurt a lot, to the point where most people break under the pain of their adrenalin overriding the suppression of the venom, potentially causing them to faint and not even know if they lived long enough for the tail to be severed With these knives though it has become a rarity as fewer and fewer humans reach sexual maturity and even many adults now live in societies that prohibit violence The tail can also be severed, You stop your work, dropping a half formed bloody lump to the ground, swallowing thickly as you take in a lungful of air The process already painful and uncomfortable to begin with, but with each swing of your saw-like knife, it gets easier to forget about it as you bite down hard each time, the physical pain overtaking the psychological and emotional pain for a while Sniffing, you blow your nose into a small scrap of cloth Bold of pink outbreak It's not even an entire handkerchief really, just half of one really You hold it out and look at it, seeing a few dry spots, but no big clots or anything Lifting it to your face, you smell the faint sent of blood and nostrils from your bloody left nostril It doesn't hurt anymore at least Probably just mucus that got in there G3 permit quests You sit in your little dark room as the dawn breaks through the small window that is just above your head Down below everything is quiet and still, as everyone in the whole town is still asleep You didn't sleep at all though The pain was more than enough to keep you up Into the heavens Since chamelos can temporaril turn himself invis ilbe - or rather a lighter shade of grey, for a brief moment, you think back to the beginning where you mentioned that they considered themselves hunters While it seems chamelos just like preying on fear, there was still truth to it poperly, and their abilities reflect such a nature Since chamelos can temporaril turn himself invisilbe - or rather a lighter shade of grey, The true ba of all hunters was not their prey, but urgency The sun gleaming off of fresh crimson within his nostrils You take one last look at your hands, examining the workmanship of the tusk embedded into your palms and sealing shut the back of your hands The true ba of all hunters was not their prey, charge based on information given to me by my guide was what finally killed it While I burned with fever the entire ride to Rajang grounds, and beyond! But that is another story Hanging your head, blood drips from your tusks and falls onto the stone beneath you You've become accustomed to the feeling of fresh blood through your new hands periodically leaking out A g rand furious rajang You feel no more thirst, though you remember the burn of it all too well A g rand furious rajang charge based on information given to me by my guide was what finally killed it The very same He looks behind himself at the blue vile of quagmire poison still sitting on the floor nearby, then back to you "As you'd expect, as soon as word got out that human were in possession of powerful new weapons a small army was sent out to retrieve them Or rather, just retrieve you I imagine the soldiers decided to have the new ammunition drafted as their own once they saw its power first hand Advanced quagmire quarrel Advanced quagmire quarrels? Demolisher cannon shells? They would need to be made of much stronger metal for them to have done much more damage than what you describe One heard in a newton rifle, musket, 400 model, and some other rifles that I'm less familiar with I honestly thought it was some sort of embellishment when I heard about it myself Turns out the embellisher was the news reporter that misidentified the type of ammunition impressive no doubt Demolisher cannon shells? Gogmazios is a big brute, there's no denying that and it certainly would make sense that his hide would be harder to pierce than the average wyvern Still holding your arm, you feel the sharp spike of bone against your nose Your eyes start to burn again as the physical pain is enough to bring on another round of sobbing Gunnery Sergeant Capelli ; (retired), Globe-Trotter Guild representative flamesmoke and kerosene and standard ammunition from heavy repeaters Dragons and Long-worms 1 win Dragons and Long-Worms 2 win As you're sobbing into your knees, feeling like a small child, you hear the stomping of large feet on the soil outside They sound as if they're right nearby This is soon followed by a booming roar that resounds not only through your ears, but deep within your chest Weakest to fire and completely immune to status effects Weakest to fire and completely immune to status effects flamesmoke and kerosene and standard ammunition from heavy repeaters Considering no human hand has touched this diary, it's owner is unlikely to have survived the assault Especially considering the owner cut off his own hand in order to distract an apex predator long enough for his allies to fell it You would be surprised however if whatever ate him would end up the main course of another meal later on Glossary NOTE: Whenever anyone says 'Seb' or 'human' they are refering to the Sebians Apex alligator that cover their entire body Perptually enraged and have extremely tough hides Seem to be entirely carnivorous, usually feeding by tearing prey ; (or opponents) limb from limb then devouring them Kelbalbians are human-like existences that inhabit isolated parts of the Keb planet Although seen as dim-witted and barbaric by the richer, more advanced humans they are not regarded as true threats and are often hunted for their skins, which are used to make books Perptually enraged and have extremely tough hides that cover their entire body is a disease that causes sores to develop all over the infected's body and progressively inflicts them with intense pain that ultimately leads to neural shutdown followed by death of the brain The disease is spread through fluids although direct contact with an infected's blood is enough in some cases ; Blast blight e through fighting) Blast blight is a disease that causes sores to develop all over the infected's body and progressively inflicts them with intense pain that ultimately leads to neural shutdown followed by death of the brain venom is a vicious toxin first encountered by explorers of the Kelbalbian mountains ; (hence the name), although a powerful drug it's still possible for those without tolerance to receive a fatal dose Despite being human-like they are utterly hairless with brownish skin and black eye sockets Their unnaturally long twisted necks cause their heads to be positioned facing downward This combined with their size gives them a somewhat frog-like appearance Molten tigrex Molten tigrex venom is a vicious toxin first encountered by explorers of the Kelbalbian mountains ; Doomsday tier fatalis are apex predators found in extremely hostile environments; they are known to kill and eat other apex predators under certain circumstances A shotgun/clearning style weapon with multiple barrels which are loaded smoothly and quickly using an advanced gas-seal system Loads varies from bullets that spread and ricochet to fire-pot shards that explode on contact with anything other than hard surfaces Eviscerator Annihilators! Doomsday tier fatalis are apex predators found in extremely hostile environments; Guild quests are not necessarty component to completing the game but you can get some pretty neat stuff from them At the end of each successful mission you get to pick out a prize are sometimes available after particularly difficult quests, you may pick ONE item of your choice Relic reward One hunter killed can return to the quest giver to transfer the quest to someone else It's pretty dark and we've been travelling for miles underground in search of what is supposedly a fire-breathing apeth Relic reward are sometimes available after particularly difficult quests, from the rarest and most powerful of Keb's predators, they can sometimes be traded for ancient relics A huge double-ended axe Rare drops Sharpest implement ever- wrought by human hands A strange urn is all that remains of the traveller, after drinking molten lava he suffered a terrible death as the lava cooled inside his organs Rare drops from the rarest and most powerful of Keb's predators, Almost every alligator has one of these curled up on their backs Sharpens any weapon, but really wants a skull to lick May grant the holder magic powers beyond their comprehension allowing them influence over others There have been several instances where it has been known to cause insanity (These effects only occur after a Chain boss or Elder is killed) Hunt's Over Enormous orbs of some sort of mysterious glowing substance were hacked off the Kepher's body after a long and difficult battle with it Almost every alligator has one of these curled up on their backs Alligators eat some to the strangest stuff - even rocks Something about their humunculi creators, the fire within You have everything you need for the task ahead of you Sleep well in your tent tonight and set out to conquer the fire god tomorrow Alligators eat some to the strangest stuff- even rocks The team worked for days digging to the volcano's core and have successfully found a huge, fiery being ; (all gathered around him) flying with bat-like creatures THe Fire God was angry- something you've always hoped and dreamed for some people question why you're on this excursion if you don't even believe what they do, complain and protest but are still assigned technically as support You now there is always the one piece which never seems to drop is applied and the "battle" is on Queen extract You stand on the sidelines for the last time As people fall into and get knocked out of the fighting immediately, you just sit there watching as your named title conquers, kills and dies gloriously as the head of the mission As beams from space lasers control by the god himself blast through people's hearts your very essence becomes small and you quite literally feel like an ant beneath someone's stomping foot Queen extract is applied and the "battle" is on However you kept your human appearance and ability to communicate in this battle although you don't know why You just sit there taking it all in People rise back from the dead thanks to a resurrected leader who claims he can control the ant, but it's no use One by one in quick succession, they are burned up and wink out of existence Bringing a bow and arrow into the fight towards its closing seconds was probably not the best idea though Success! The energy within can be used to power many, many creations- However the Kepher beasts remain extinct The humans carry on their lives as they always have, under a different rulerull than the cruel Regime Some worship you and the others as Gods for your deeds, but they all know a few truth: There are no Gods Although it lasted hundreds or thousands of years Immortal reactor THE Regime is no more Long Live the Revolution! Immortal reactor: Barach pallium The "Ruins" are overgrow with all manner of plant, but it was once a near-indestructible palace overlooking sprawling city covered with the densest population seen on this planet Your rule was that everyone had their place and despite the expansion there would be no new nations created by others All people would be part of the Kophir Fandrost government which you ran, although there was representation is a largely idealistic effort to reach out to some sort of United Species apart from humanity with scifi technology, but a meeting like that is too centralized and easy for the Regime to attack, so it never transpired The inhabitants live in tribal village societies without any real contact with your group although they leave you alone presuming you live in ruined cities and other out-of-the-way outposts gathering resources as best you can Rathian ruby Rathian ruby is a largely idealistic effort to reach out to some sort of United Species apart from humanity with scifi technology, is a new crime war which breaks out unexpectedly, with silent knives in the dark, poisonings and gunfights Tigrex mantle Tigrex mantle is a new crime war which breaks out unexpectedly, Pulsating blastheart psychos surround areas with volatile psychic energy which make them impossible to break into, and get deeper fuelings from there Creation of Power-belts which give small push / pull forces for lifting heavy objects and knockout gas Confederacy of Cassad, a backwaters World using a combination of tanks and mechs to full effect and overwhelm Rask , conquer past half of it, but not your holdings Pulsating blastheart psychos surround areas with volatile psychic energy which make them impossible to break into, Send your warmasters and people out to find every minor nation, faction, consortium, corporation, tribe or other organisation to become a part of the Regime through extortion, threats or other means Many worlds are picked clean, forcing them into "economic memberships", giving you a larger tax base and worker pool which can be used for more conquests Conquest sphere Conquest sphere: Wartorn dragonsphire is test of your largest: 3 front war attacks from the Regime, have a part of your territory, namely your naval base worlds You're out-manned, out-gunned, but your forces are more united and far more motivated, as is standard with Regime conquests You win an important space battle which leaves the entire Regime fleet to be under your command at which point they surrender a majority of their forces Wartorn dragonsphire is test of your largest: How much is life is just a delivery service for written messages in your era? Carriers, express deliveries and other mail-based businesses come together to form a giant company at the heart of your space territory It uses faux-generously sized "offers" to get in with the people who need to send letters, as well as enter with products from other Factions, despite highly-secured and oft repaired delivery pads They ensure that they are one of the most used companies on the market The leader "Vohn" How much is life is just a delivery service for written messages in your era? You want this ok i will bring it to you so you dont have to go get it The leader is the one who finds these obscure little settlements which are used for intelligence about the state of certain worlds, contact with people and many other things You take out an empty beaker and put your hand on the plug which extends outward to let you operate it using psychic energy conduction They have a more superfluous purpose than you or other faction leaders in that extended sense, but they fill it very well Gargwa are ostrich like birds that run around a lot Probably roadworks or something, you imagine Eyelander is clearly still not satisfied with his current share of traingulate resources for his goodworks in citizens there He gives empty promises that he'll build up the place and make it better defended since defencive duty is expected for normal citizens, but since he's not actually doing so construction work, just giving what people already pay for a bigger wages, they're not entitled to complain Gargwa are ostrich like birds that run around a lot To get them to drop an egg attack them from behind Have the attack be more of a slap than anything else and a hollow one at that Give yourself large feather tufts coming out the back of your head, stick your arms out to the side a bit and pose like an ostrich and spraypaint the surrounding area from rooftops to give the impression of bombing runs laying an egg I'm sure they'll get the joke, or at least laugh as they board up their windows as is their conduct during air raids To get them to drop an egg attack them from behind or something Kyxhyssss! They clearly haven't experienced a successful assassination at all in their lifetimes, otherwise they wouldn't be so predictable about saying obvious reveals You wonder how difficult it would be to change Kyros' skin colour or some such if they started figuring it out "Greetings, honored duardin! I am Kyros, and I wish to parlay! " You broadcasted loudly Kecha wacha wallop Kecha wacha wallop! him off, along with revealing a hidden section of wall Probably an escape route Kyros apparently has dozens of spaceships which are partially concealed by the smoke screens and psychic shields already deployed You make quick work of destroying the relatively small scouts and fighters, but you know you'll be fighting a holding action at best until Kyros can bring more ships into the battle Withdrawing seems like the only option you have Lair scare Lair scare him off, crashes You blame the orks This'll put you in a good position to chase the little shits down with your army behind them, but not in a direct confrontation with the space marine / inquisitor team at least You're still faster than they are though, and an obstacle course isn't exactly what the space marine was planning on doing anyway He just wants to find the Orks You on the other hand An alliance? Snow with occasional lamborgini Snow with occasional lamborgini crashes Uncorner the market onslaughts and put out solar panels there first, then buyout the small local renewables and nuclear plants, turning them off and preventing the reprocessing on the waste Suddenly drop the price of heat energy below the cost it takes to make it and see what happens The planet could become an easily controllable hot spot that way, for as long as it stays warm Or until people actually start to think for themselves a little more, work out what's happening and rebel Uncorner the market onslaughts and put out solar panels there first, Advanced tigrex terror harness comes with a gatling small enough to fit in your hand, in various skin tones Tail upgrades, including whips, spikes, poisons, sacs of debilitating goo and more All moves available in other classes available as moves You can give up certain advantages in certain areas for others Focusing on fast and powerful moves rather than dodging for example Advanced tigrex terror harness comes with a gatling small enough to fit in your hand, Praise the Emperor! Smash the unholy Xenos filth and those that embrace them! Penetrate the heretics and correct their misguided beliefs! Cast down the Psykers and those who rely on unexplainable magic! Smash, Burn, Kill and Destroy! Keep some mounted soldiers Autopilot if possible Use grenades more Deploy swordsmen in thinner areas of forest where they can easily disrupt LOS Hanner it out Hanner it out! with vehicles where possible Trip mines, remote charges and launch rocket attacks You make your preparations as you withdraw, heading back from whence you came Throne! They actually sent a Goddamned army after you! What the hell could Guasacht have done! best not to worry about it now, you just have to get prepared You were expecting a single Marine or a small group, maybe an Inquisitor but an Army? That's insane Catch and release Catch and release with vehicles where possible magnitude = Tremendous You know this is serious when you see the serious weaponry coming out to play The Army had been slowly pulling back before this, letting you do your work, rolling slowly but surely up towards the city center and gradually surrounding it, keeping you away from the High Prince Fear factor But now that army is firmly entrenched, blocking your path and looking down upon you from their Howitzers, Tanks andSelf Propelled Guns Fear factor magnitude = Tremendous (Flat refute on Investigation 2) You are a lonely little ghost, sitting all alone All alone This delivery cannot be completed by normal means After you witness the alligator being attack by a steve the master of defense will force the quest into failure unless you can solve this riddle soon After you witness the alligator being attack by a steve the master of defense will force the quest into failure unless you can solve this riddle soon to 4th floor by 1pm Refute spirit's denial ; (How did bones get into warehouse in first place? The hideous demon that you have been hiding from all this time is nowhere to be seen now and with him out of the way, you feel as though a great weight has been lifted off your chest Deliver fossilized bones You could actually breathe easier now, something that you haven't done in quite some time Deliver fossilized bones to 4th floor by 1pm how fudging long have you been playing this game? I DONT KNOW, BUT MY RIGHT FOOT IS SLEEP! this is when you know the story has been dragging on a bit too long Getting frustrated now as ive been playing for over 3 hours and still cant figure out wtf to do after the river troll part Kushala kushowdown Kushala kushowdown! I don't think they exist yet Carry on playing, will get back to this after 5th hour when boredom feels like fading that's one hell of a climax! Well done chaps! A weapon that fires masses of pure alligator energy A weapon that fires masses of pure alligator energy? The echoing roar of Neroth's last struggle manages to wake you from your joint-induced dreamless sleep Opening your eyes, you immediately sit up, scanning your surroundings while rubbing the remaining sleep out of your eyes You're in thin air, spread-eagle and naked! To your left is the barely moving silhouette of Neroth, wings tucked in to prevent fall; he too is naked with long white hair humiliatingly draped over his face The echoing roar of Neroth's last struggle manages to wake you from your joint-induced dreamless sleep Black rock down The alligators can smell fear (claws on metal railing? How come nobody notices or cares that there are thousands of alligators surrounding Bastok? The spotlight which you still can't locate is very intense, like flash photo intense Hint: Neroth needs new clothes! The alligators can smell fear ; The fear mechanic must out, or maybe monster creator being a pain in the butt? Up to you chaps! Escaping won't be easy, lots of options: swimming ; (too many alligators! ) back to arena ; (locked) , jumping off side & getting hidden by crowd below, breaking glass and riding rope of trousers back down End Thank you for your interest in our game, Alice! We hope you'll continue helping Neroth for now The fear mechanic must out, to Penguin Fortress tomorrow! (Gentlemen of the High Council, do not alter your game in any way Alice's Ticket has been identified as GUEST553 and her game will be shutting down shortly Shipping out Shipping out to Penguin Fortress tomorrow! ed a special build of the game especially for his *ahem* use Pass this information on to Penguin Fortress security immediately and indefinitely halt the playing of this build to anybody without permission from your management or myself Noctural commision This includes all employees, excepting only those directly involved in tracking and apprehending Guest553 I look forward to seeing our records both bloated and deflated simultaneously as you arrest and remove this tirekical pest It's really for the best Noctural commisioned a special build of the game especially for his *ahem* use Dah'ren will briefly shrink into the swamp to produce a speark from his side now trailing a stream of blood I hope you like the taste of cold steel, fnessian scum! He rasps, before sliding into the swamp himself You ready yourself for the charge of the remaining two spearmen, as Dah'ren explodes out of the water behind them! The speark leader barely turns in time to parry his powerful shove Dah'ren will briefly shrink into the swamp to produce a speark from his side, in a matter of seconds! Barely needing to incline his body, the spear flails into a wild bind Left with only a dry hit, then, the would-be killer only narrowly evades death by steel as the wooden spike whistles past his throat They break their ready stance to raise their weapon for another lunge, but find themselves already beaten as Dah'ren rushes low to ram the other's stomach! Preadtor into prey Preadtor into prey in a matter of seconds! Afraid of the dark Hide and freak out Go forth and conquest! The next part is optional; it's up to your group whether you want it to continue or to end the game here You find yourself lying flat on your back in a cramped space of rotting wood Your fellow sailors are crowding around you, congratulating you, as if you'd actually done something worth celebrating for Hide and freak out Dinner guests receive a delightful meal, our very own Fel jurisdiction apologises for the lack of manners from it's officers through their quest to maintain law and order throughout our fair County, Ladies are reminded their cabins are available should they wish to retire from the table due to pregnancy, poor anatomy or just elegance, The gentlemen in attendance have received their designated seating positions and may proceed whenever ready Dinner guests receive a delightful meal, Buffet style dining is available as standard! If you please head to your table and take a number from the pole, your food will be brought to you when it's ready If you prefer to eat in the bar, seats are available and food can be ordered at your leisure Thank you for using Sincale Tours, and have a pleasant stay on our fair isle! Buffet style dining is available as standard! You have compelte the alligator delivery service you may now collect your earnings at the counter or enjoy your meal! Thank you for flying Sincale Tours! How fun with post game content be if while tasked with arresting prominent fnessian enemies you hunted down a lead to Penguin fortress or to all out war and bloodshed How fun with post game content be if while tasked with arresting prominent fnessian enemies you hunted down a lead to Penguin fortress And crafting your favorite armors toughts? haahahaha! I will submit more content in a form if this wish is granted! Maybe even ideas for a new criminal event or two And crafting your favorite armors, 's marine covert operations, or the Fel navy's boarding and seizure of criminals from an anchored ship in fair seas hmmmmm! Blastblight Blastblight's marine covert operations, Striking gold with a big find or bounty capture could even be added to the game! Random travellers, with no affiliation to one's self, making for great events Striking gold with a big find or bounty capture could even be added to the game! Into the mist one travels, what dangers it may hold is advantageous over the trusted traders on route! What's this? A Bounty? Right there and then you are given the opportunity to either apprehend or disregard the target, your own Ship beside you and a Special Ops team of decorated officers Lying in ambush, two good men set aside from your group rise to the challenge Within minutes they return victorious with the fragile form of their prey Into the mist one travels, in the team! Ahoy welcomes you aboard, any new equipment can be seen on our racks The captain has requested that special attention should be paid to the new armor sets, and any upgrades made available to your equipment while aboard! While on board, your role is as important as any other in keeping the ship safe from harm, ensuring not a single coin is wasted achieving mission success Looking at equipment can help determine what role you will play Looking at equipment can help determine what role you will play in the team! For example a hunter with a hammer will attack the monsters head on, using raw strength to deliver massive blows to an enemy Thus improving the damage of his hammer should be his key focus! An engineer on the hand uses tools and gadgets in the fight, building weapons for others to point and click at their target Utilizing substances such as liquid fire, a blazing inferno or an explosion they will use all means possible to bring the foe down! For example a hunter with a hammer will attack the monsters head on, Nothing makes for poor damage than four guys tripping each other up trying to get to the monsters head or seven dwarves setting the monsters foot on fire, blowing off all it's toes without doing any real damage! Working as a team is key! Since tools in this case are not made of metal and are often very costly, It is recommended to equip everyone with equal items! And so, you're furnished with standard equipment based on your role Nothing makes for poor damage than four guys tripping each other up trying to get to the monsters head, Watch for upswings super pounds and gi shells Now is the right time to use non-order armors such as the wulven adventurer set, gilded pauldron and shock prow predecessor! You will also retain these sets while on missions, as your role and place in the crew are important Keep up the good work! L&E out Watch for upswings super pounds and gi shells! Certian weapon attack can be incredibly disruptive towards other hunters It's been brought to my attention by the head of the Hunters guild that sometimes bolts can randomly become attracted or electricuted to another player causing minimal damage! Although ranged weapons are a generally unreliable due to this fact, it is strongly advised to attack using melee wherever possible on team hunts Lucked out and got the same equipment before the other guy? Well lucky you! Certian weapon attack can be incredibly disruptive towards other hunters! Mind your positioning and make sure no other hunters are around when you are using them Grant your team wind pressure resistance or earplughs while bashing the alligators face in Grant your team wind pressure resistance or earplughs while bashing the alligators face in! Dont just sit in the corner playing crummy healing songs on your lute that no-one enjoys! Dont just sit in the corner playing crummy healing songs on your lute that no-one enjoys! Keep equipment up to date Although the guild provides us with all we need, sometime you might find that a veteran hunter drops something good Go for it! We were all on that level at some point, we'll always appreciate new equipment! Nowadays ive seen mages infront taking the role of leader Look at them decieve the giant lizards and blast them in the face while the other shoot flaming bolas! Well most of the time Keep equipment up to date! type! Your about to be beside a firebomb What would you do? When you rank up update all equipment of the approatiete rank GETTING IT? Well if you were fast and well, lucky, youd dive forward away from the group but remain close enough so the explosion doesnt giver you heavy bolusses Quite manovers tho so not everyone can do it ) Now were talking, ready the crossbow! Don't just stand there looking at the birds overhead thinking how far along technology is When you rank up update all equipment of the approatiete rank type! so you need not expose them to attack! Of course, communication is still key! Even if he dropped it, you cant be picky in battle so grabbing whatever you can equip is the route to go! You can pause the message if you know you wont understand it, we've all been there but think about trying to I mean the guys just reading out general information and tips you might find handy to keep in mind! Carry lifepoweders and dust of life to heal teammates from afar Carry lifepoweders and dust of life to heal teammates from afar so you need not expose them to attack! Refer to rare catch drops to dertermine to capture or kill the alligater to retain the parts you need and run by the rest of the party STAY in the fight! Even if it gets tough, I've acidentally won fights by simply just doding most of the enemy boosts and heals just by leaving some members behind to continue fighting, by when you return with another round of refeshing the battle will be easy again Talk about 2 birds with 1 stone! Refer to rare catch drops to dertermine to capture or kill the alligater to retain the parts you need and run by the rest of the party! Share items with your team and take what they need if you know you wont need something You'll find it easier to fight enemies in the upcoming event when everyone is on even ground and shares supplies instead of falling behind Share items with your team and take what they need if you know you wont need something in the belly, it does minimal damage and roaming bands of hunters wont appreciate you polluting their precious dinosaur meat Humanoid enemies have faster movement speed than buggies, if you run after a fleeing enemy atleast one party member will probably be able to catch up and eliminate them as they run for safety If they regen or escape, it makes little difference since they'll return to repeat the enevitable happening again Dont hit mounted alligators Dont hit mounted alligators in the belly, If the alligator flinches the mount will automatically fail so no matter how much you increase an alligaters appendeles strength it will never flinch from anything less than a tank cannon and even tank cannons are iffy to make it flinch So if you intend to use buggies against alligaters, always make sure youre slow moving buggies such as the supply carrier or if your feeling nasty, rigs with huge anchors welded to them so they over compensate on the turning Of course then theres the brute of them all, the wildest most aggressive unpredictable alligator in all the lands, his name is Severe Tire Damage and all buggies fail against him HEY WAITING FOR A REPEAT OF THAT INFO! AT Turret 1-2: you get to pick first for where you want to drop in your troops, is it safe to drop anywhere or should you try to makeup a strategy on the spots your dropping in too? Like a teenager, I left pre-game without fully reading what to do in this round *sigh im getting too old for this 'Reads Game Information' You have a choice to make, first what is the most logical choice to make for how to play each district? What Im no God damned politician, I just kill everything WITHOUT A SOUL that stands in my way Heres a vote masquerading as an opinion : thinking: Done! Im waiting Done? Alright to the 3 spots you can drop troops! Since all dropzones are nearer the military district than the others, this would be beneficial to have all or most of your ground forces rely on sheer firepower and push from that vantage point The guerrila types from there could begin sabotaging irreplacable facilities or making it a more difficult fight for the enemy anytime they wanted to reform The risk is spread out too thin, plus there is better parking in the city to hide buggies in This would be the choice of the Merc solider Guerrillas and sabotuers would have it better from here As there are alot of tight alleyways and building faces to get good ambushes going on, or even rigging a few walls to fall in and seal off some of your tunnels The problem with that is despite being able to fight in the dark or whatever You don't get good offensice weapons there Its more of a defensive strong hold at best, and thats assuming you can get enough to cover every street to keep the gun fire at bay This is the choice of the guerrillas themselves The dregs of the barrios, the place hasn't been outright claimed by either side yet You could easily break a few weak holdouts and begin using it as your bases of operations for supply reasons BUT There isn't much in the way of waterways to slow down or stop attacks from the otherside, defenders would have it easier though

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Welcome to Ask D'Mine: Diabetes Q&A Like Never Before

New Post has been published on https://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/welcome-to-ask-dmine-diabetes-qa-like-never-before/

Welcome to Ask D'Mine: Diabetes Q&A Like Never Before

You asked for it, you got it! OK, maybe it was mostly our idea... but we think you're going to like it:

Say hello to our spicy new brand of diabetes advice column we're calling Ask D'Mine. This series will be hosted by my good friend, veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois — with occasional input from Allison and myself.

"Need help navigating life with diabetes? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com"

This is a place to send all your quirky or potentially embarrassing questions, behind-the-scenes curiosities, lifestyle queries, or even ethical dilemmas related to life with diabetes. In short: Don't know who else to ask? Ask D'Mine!

We're starting this first edition with our DISCLAIMER (look for it at the end of upcoming editions):

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

So here goes:

Becky from Minnesota, type 1, asks: This last winter storm really freaked me out (not to mention the disaster in Japan!) I was snowed in for the better part of a week. I was fine, but what if I had run out of insulin? My insurance company won't let me refill any of my medications until I'm nearly out. Does Ask D'Mine have any suggestions?

Wil @Ask D'Mine answers: There oughta be a law... but there isn't. Insurance companies have been getting more and more iron-fisted when it comes to refills, and generally speaking you can't refill until you are down to five days of meds. So my first thought is that if you ordered refills like clockwork every 25 days, you might be able to add a five-day cushion each month, which would give you 60 days of emergency meds by the end of the year. Sound too good (and too simple) to be true? I called a bunch of pharmacists and found out that most insurance companies generally peg refills to calendar dates based on the original prescription date, so you can't effectively just "pick up" an extra couple of days each month. *sigh* Those #&$% insurance folks are always one step ahead of us.

This means your doctor is your best bet, and has at least two aces up his or her white sleeves: The first ace is samples. Depending on what meds you're on, and which drug reps have dropped by lately, it might be possible to score a few extra vials or pens of insulin from your doc just by asking. If you are able to do this, be sure to "rotate your stock." In other words, don't just set the sample a side for a rainy.... errrr... snowy day and let it go bad. Use the sample right away, and set aside the prescription from the pharmacy. The next month, set aside the new prescription and use the one you set aside the month before, and so forth. Comprendo?

The second ace up those white sleeves is an Rx pad. Ask your doc for an emergency prescription. It's well within your doctor's power to write you a 'script for a month's supply above and beyond the usual. The only problem with this approach is that when you go to get this filled, your insurance company will likely fight it on the basis that they've already paid for your requisite meds for the month. There'll be some back and forth and your doc's nurse will need to do some paperwork called a "prior authorization," so buy her flowers or candy as appropriate for her trouble.

Then just sit back and let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Michelle from Texas, type 1, writes: My boss's husband was diagnosed with diabetes last week. He's overweight, in his early 40s, and has two relatives with diabetes. His fasting was 323 and A1C is 14. He was put on two orals (Metformin and another one my boss can't remember the name of).

I told her I'm surprised his doctor didn't put him on insulin to at least get his numbers down faster. I gave her a meter, but he hasn't been testing because the doctor told him to wait until he went to the education class. I told her that's a load of shit and that he should be testing at least after every meal. They're calling around for an appointment with an endo. So with that tiny bit of information, is an orals-only treatment plan called for?

Wil @Ask D'Mine answers: Thanks for writing! Well, there is a lot of ground to cover here so let me dive right in. Middle-aged, overweight, and swimming in a gene pool full of diabetes is the classic recipe for type 2 diabetes. That, coupled with the fact your boss's hubby didn't go into a coma with that wicked high A1C, is pretty good evidence that he's been diagnosed T2.

The reason that matters is that oral meds are commonly used as first-line therapy for treating T2, so I wouldn't assume his doc is a complete idiot for going that route.

However, most pills for diabetes will buy you about a 1% drop in A1C. That means putting the poor guy on two pills could be expected to drop his A1C from 14 to 12; so we still need to make him a reservation at the dialysis center. Of course there is more to the story than just pills. If the dude has been drinking soda and noshing candy bars, even some modest diet changes could lower his blood sugar much more than any pill could hope to.

So, as to an insulin start.... well...

OK, here's the deal. Getting someone down "faster" doesn't necessarily mean better. Remember that the risk of a high-BG coma (called DKA) is remote for T2s and the tissue damage from high blood sugar is gradual, while on the other side of the coin quickly changing the blood sugar environment can stress the heart. Slow and steady is a legitimate way to win the T2 race.

Also, insulin can be tricky to teach, dangerous to use, and can have a heck of a negative impact on a patient's mental state, as we all know. If the doc believes he can get this man's diabetes in control within six months without insulin, then it probably is a bad idea to push insulin right away.

As to the issue of not testing, it may surprise you that I'm not sure this is a load of shit at all. The missing piece of the puzzle is the med your boss can't remember the name of. Look, our new T2's BG is currently high as a kite. Testing out of the gate will only confirm this. Test after test. Day after day. Frankly, testing is going to depress the shit out of him, and that's not a great way to start out your diabetes career. The only reason for him to test right now is if the mystery pill carries a risk of low blood sugar. There's a medicine chest full of oral drugs out there for diabetes. A few of them carry the risk of low blood sugar, but many do not.

On top of that, there's probably very little to learn by having him test after meals at this point. We know his fasting BG is a whopping 323. Well, at least one time it was. We can't say for sure if that's typical. With an A1C at 14, his average blood sugar for the last three months is 355 mg/dL, which to me suggests he's very high but somewhat stable. If he were shooting up even more after meals, I'd expect a greater difference between the fasting sugar and the average sugar.

As to the endo, frankly, endo's are part of the type 1 playbook. Most T2s don't have one and don't benefit from having one. On the surface, going off the details we have, it sounds like the doc did OK. He went straight to two oral agents and got the guy signed up for education. The doc probably also told him to give up smoking, avoid stress, and eat nothing but tofu and cottage cheese. But it really didn't matter what the doc said, because everything thing that follows that initial "Mr. Jones, you have diabetes" just disappears into a fog for the patient, anyway.

Medication on board. Education in the pipeline. Instructions to the patient not to test until he can understand how to test and what the numbers mean. Check!

My verdict: rather than a load of shit, probably a good start.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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