#now i just need to find a song that fits Ed’s perspective lmao

[consumed-by-fandom]

MY ARGUMENT FOR WHY LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO BY TAYLOR SWIFT FITS OSWALD COBBLEPOT A LITTLE TOO WELL

So people seemed quite interested in my thoughts on this sooo here ya go! :p

Spoilers for Gotham (2014) obvs

For context the song fits with Oswald’s Season 3 Arc, where he becomes mayor of Gotham and is taken down and killed by Edward after Oswald kills Ed’s ‘weird ass totally-a-clone-of-his-dead-ex’ girlfriend, Isabella. Oswald survives because of course he does, and plots his revenge against Ed for the rest of the season. AND HE FUCKING GETS IT BECAUSE HES OSWALD FUCKING COBBLEPOT

Anyway lets get into the lyrics shall we?

First off, Riddler is known for his games and puzzles, and in particular his whole revenge plan might have been seen as a game to both of them, with Ed seeing it as a strategic game to destroy Oswald, and Oswald seeing it as a childish game played unfairly to Ed’s own agenda. The tilted stage also ties to Riddler’s showmanship and love of being in the spotlight, as well as how, to Oswald’s perspective, he’s putting himself up on a pedestal while criticising Oswald despite everything Oswald has done for him (I think Oswald definitely saw Isabella’s murder as an act of kindness or love, the latter might be canon too?) Oswald being forced to play the fool is pretty self-explanatory, he was thrown through the rings of Ed’s deception and tests none the wiser to Ed being the culprit.

I think even Oswald would have to admit that Ed outplayed him, using everything he knew about Oswald, all his weaknesses and vulnerabilities, to completely ruin his life and prove a point (even if that point got disproven because he accidentally proved Oswald WAS capable of real love lmao) And how Oswald, as paranoid and wary as he is, still did not believe for a second that Ed would betray him. (This is unrelated but Oswald’s trust issues is so sad to see because as the show goes on he gets increasingly more distrustful of others and by season 5 it doesn’t take much for him to go “YOUVE BETRAYED ME I FUCKING KNEW IT” poor lad). Anyway Ed is a pro at shit eating grins, and has no qualms lying to others, something I think hurts Oswald even more because he always believed that they’d be honest with one another (even though he went behind Ed’s back… hes a bit of a hypocrite guys) But Ed is also one to gloat and mock, perhaps even more than Oswald, and he definitely rubs it in Oswald’s face when he reveals that it was his plan all along, that he was behind everything. Stretching a bit with the gun here but I like to think that Oswald believed they were always on the same page, that Oswald would always call the shots so to speak, that he was the one in control. Ironically it was the shot that Oswald took that pushed Ed to take a shot of his own (i am NOT sorry for the wordplay >:] )

Speaking of wordplay. “Isn’t cool” Ahahah. Get it. Cuz. Cuz ed gets… anyway.

What does Oswald Cobblepot do best when wronged? Plan an elaborate revenge scheme of course! He learns from his mistakes, learns more about who Edward is as a person, and also learns not to let love weaken him :,). His revenge against him does what Ed initially did to him - use his flaws and characteristics to his advantage. And Oswald PLAYS HIM LIKE A FIDDLE by practically leading him to his doom, right until the reveal by the pier. Him escaping death is also surprisingly common for him, surviving from the pier not once, but TWICE by this point in the show. Not to mention all the other murder attempts on his life. The list of names would relate to Oswald’s growing enemies, his revenge hitlist so to speak, with Ed being at the very top for obvious reasons.

I think Oswald would definitely blame other people for his behaviour. Like “you made me this way, you provoked me, you forced my hand.” No dude you just love murder and vengeance get over urself. I MEAN he probably knows he’s ‘just like that’ but he’d still blame people anyway lmao.

When Ed got shipped to Arkham for girlfriend strangling and cop killing Oswald eventually got him out so he could be by his side as he campaigned for mayor of gotham, and he was pretty dedicated to being there for Ed as Ed was for him, even including him in paintings and promoting him to chief of staff. He loved him so much, and would do anything for him (even if it meant doing what he thought was for his benefit. Like killing girlfriends.) So naturally Ed ruining his life and then going off and making a name for himself as the Riddler would absolutely piss Oswald off, because to Oswald he had been so generous and a good friend/potential life partner, and this was the thanks he gets? I could also see Riddler’s rise to prominence as something Oswald would be jealous of, because thats his crime spotlight he’s stealing dammit!

Also. Also Ed stole the keys to his heart ahahahAGUGHUGHUHGAHGHH

Gotham is full of drama all day everyday 24/7, I have to imagine even Oswald gets sick of it after a while lol. Anyway he’s very good at losing himself to his own plans and thoughts driven by his emotions, pushing the rest of the world aside so he can solely focus on his revenge. He never forgets a grudge, he always gets what’s “deserved” to him (and he’s actually really good at getting revenge too, using Ed’s eventual sentence as an example). Ironically that also fits with how Oswald got his punishment for Isabella’s death, but now he’s paid the price, its Ed’s turn (and anyone else who Oswald had a vendetta against at the time. Which was probably a lot of people idk Oswald makes a lot of enemies in the show)

Again, Oswald has MAJOR trust issues and this paranoid only grows as the show goes on and more people betray or leave him. He’s also pretty sly himself, and if his plans include completely screwing you over for whatever reason, you better bet he’s going to do it.

As for the latter lyric…

Do i even need to explain this one?

There isn’t much I can link for this it just seems like something Oswald would say lmao

Aaaaaand thats all! I didn’t go over repeating choruses for obvious reasons, but that’s my own brainrot explanation for why this song fits him soooo well. Now if you’ll excuse me i’m going to daydream about the animation that would go to this that I’ll probably never do.

[wibble-wobbegong]

Based Anon here!! I can't stop thinking about what we talked about Mike's character arc right now and I was also thinking about the juiciness of him having a Vecna vision to unravel his hidden character's arc. So, I have a kinda ambitious request to make: Could you describe the sequence or the elements Mike's (perfect) vecna vision must contain, please?

BASED ANON WITH THE BASED QUESTIONS!!!! this has been in my inbox for such a long time and i am SO sorry. i was originally gonna answer this with a huge breakdown of the overkill trance songs but i could never get the little details to fit quite right and i feel i covered most of the actual implications in the original post anyway and i don’t wanna start putting all my eggs in one basket so! there’s only one moment i’m gonna be talking about here that pulls straight from the overkill songs because i genuinely think it would be a fantastic ending to mike’s trance

let me say first that i’m coming at this from the perspective that mike will be in this trance for the two year time skip, giving us plenty of time to go through a lot of his fears and insecurities. we need the time to really understand everything that’s been withheld from us and that goes beyond just mike’s feelings for will and fear of being outted. so, below the cut, i’m gonna get into dustin, lucas, nancy, his parents, max, el, will, and then my ideal final scene. i don’t necessarily think the trance explorations will appear in that order (besides the ending) but that’s how i feel like talking about it

Mike’s relationships with each of these characters goes farther beyond the aspect I’m assigning them, however I don’t think we’ll have time to dive into every little detail of every relationship. I’m taking the most prominent thing from each dynamic and showing how it leads to their role in Mike’s trance.

ALSO Max isn’t here because I don’t think she’s going to be in his trance as an illusion, and getting into that deserves a whole other post lmao

Dustin; Loneliness

Okay, starting with Dustin. How does Dustin fit into Mike’s trance? This is something I plan on doing a very deep dive with once I finish the post about Mike’s self destruction, but I actually think Mike and Dustin will inevitably end up fighting about Eddie in S5. They could support each other, but narratively, Mike needs to feel like he’s also lost Dustin in order to push him to the final scene.

I have a feeling Mike is gonna be very reluctant to believe Eddie is actually dead despite Dustin’s insistence. Mike has suffered the most loss of actual people in the show right next to Joyce. He thought Will died, he thought El died, he thought Hopper died (yes Hopper is important to Mike’s story and he cares about him and their dynamic is a whole thing). Every single person Mike has cared for, loved, who died, eventually came back. Nobody is ever really dead in Mike’s world. He’s seen other people die, he’s seen them stay dead, but it’s never the people he cares about the most.

Alongside that, Mike is a character with a lot of hope. He’s stubborn and he almost never gives up with ease. If there’s a solution, he’s not gonna stop until he finds it. Even if Dustin saw Eddie die, Mike isn’t gonna stop hoping. They saw Will’s body, they saw El die, and Joyce first hand reported Hopper’s death and they all came back. He’s not gonna believe Eddie died just like that, not anymore.

This is something that I talk about in the “Vanishing of Mike Wheeler” post, where Mike follows Eddie’s voice into the hands of a waiting Henry, and I think this heavily plays into that. Mike desperately needs Eddie to be alive, not just because he’s a good friend, but Eddie was sort of a beacon of hope to Mike in the sense that he proved queer boys could thrive. If Eddie really is dead, what does that mean for Mike? He’s alone again. Even more so after having his romantic hope stomped on at the end of the season, once Will unintentionally revoked that belief of required feelings Mike had.

This is a lot of Eddie, but it all ties back to Dustin and Mike fighting over it. Dustin held Eddie in his arms as the life drained from his eyes, he’s gonna be pissed if Mike tries to make him think it wasn’t real. Dustin knows Eddie is dead. Dustin has always been able to believe Mike more easily than other people, they’ve grown especially close between S3 and S4, but Eddie died in Dustin’s arms. Mike is gonna refute Eddie’s death and it’s not gonna go over well with Dustin.

Losing the one friend he feels like he still has, who he can still be close with, is going to be coming back in Mike’s trance. Mike’s biggest fear has always been about losing the people he loves. Right now, Dustin is the only person Mike hasn’t lost in one way or another. When Mike pushes too far and loses Dustin too, that’ll be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Dustin is gonna be significant in Mike’s trance as a sort of staple that he really is alone. Dustin never gave up on him and yet he still ended up losing him. Everybody leaves Mike eventually, because no matter what Mike will never be good enough for the people he loves. He’s not even scraping by as good anymore. Dustin’s gonna hammer that insecurity in, making him truly believe he is completely, utterly alone.

Lucas; Normalcy

Lucas’ role is actually gonna be huge I think. A lot of Mike’s arc specifically regarding his sexuality outside of Will and El falls into Lucas’ hands because Lucas is representative of everything Mike wishes he were. Lucas is very similar to Mike (even if he doesn’t see these traits in himself); they’re both loyal, kind, stubborn, brave, etc. but Lucas is still what Mike strives for and we see that a lot in S3.

Even more so than just sexuality, because that was most of Mike’s attempt at normalcy in S3, we see Mike wanting to be like Lucas in other ways in S4. There’s a massive conflict between the two of them that runs deep, but during the cafeteria scene we see a sports book on the table, specifically one about how to become an athlete. This couldn’t be Lucas’ because he’s not eating with them. It’s pretty clear that none of the original Hellfire members are interested in any kind of sport, which only leaves Dustin and Mike. Why the hell would Dustin be reading about becoming an athlete? There’s no service to his character in that and there’s no previous indication of him wanting to play sports.

The book is Mike’s. Mike expresses his frustration with Lucas for joining the basketball team and choosing the championship game over Hellfire, yet we still see him showing some form of longing for the things Lucas has. By S4, Mike has accepted his sexuality and that he cannot change it (even if he has conflicted feelings about it) and that is heavily intertwined to him returning to being a freak by joining Hellfire, but Mike still thinks about what it would be like to be like Lucas. Mike finds light in Hellfire, a place where he can be unashamed of his passion for DND and where he doesn’t have to repress his sexuality (thank Eddie for that one). Part of him, however, still searches in the dark. There’s a temptation to return to that darkness, the one he hid in during S3, and that temptation comes from seeing Lucas manage to find light in the things that are nothing but darkness for Mike. I think Mike sometimes wonders if he can find light in that darkness, too. I think Mike gets kept up at night wondering if he had just kept pushing, kept trying to be normal, if he would have ended up like Lucas somehow. I think he wonders if there’s an even brighter light that he’ll only find by suffering through the darkness first.

Mike doesn’t understand that Lucas was never really doing all the basketball and popularity stuff because it made him happy, but rather out of necessity. Mike and Lucas’ worlds are both incredibly different, but neither sees that about the other. That’s part of what brings about their conflict. If Mike went the way Lucas did, things wouldn’t have ended well. They didn’t end well for Lucas. Lucas’ arc ends with him learning that he never wanted to be like the people he was surrounding himself with. Mike, however, is completely unaware of all this. Mike and Lucas have barely spoken since their fight, where Lucas was still fully on board with being normal — that being normal was better for all of them than being nerds and freaks. Mike doesn’t know anything about what happened with the basketball team. What happened with Jason. To Mike, Lucas is still the peak example of success through normalcy.

Part of Mike still wants to be normal. Mike needed Hellfire, desperately so, but it wasn’t enough. Mike had a space to start being himself, but Hellfire wasn’t a place for Mike. It was a place for freaks, nothing more and nothing less. Eddie didn’t open his arms to Mike on account of Mike being himself, but rather another freak in need of a place to be a bit of a freak. Hellfire successfully gave Mike a place to play DND and start accepting his sexuality (both heavily involved in his arc with Will) but Mike’s internal conflict doesn’t start nor end with who he’s attracted to. Mike has a huge problem in believing he, himself, is good enough. Hellfire gave Mike a place to accept his freakishness, but Mike is more than just a freak. Hellfire isn’t enough. There’s still something missing for Mike, and it’s something Hellfire can’t solve.

Lucas plays into Mike’s trance by being the epitome of everything Mike wishes he were. Lucas has everything Mike feels he lacks, especially in S4. If Mike were normal, if Mike weren’t gay and if he were a better person, maybe he could’ve been like Lucas.

Most likely, I think we’re gonna get some kind of scene where Lucas rejects Mike for his sexuality. He rejects Mike for not being normal, for not being good at sports and for liking boys and for being weak. Mike feels like he’s nothing special at all, and Lucas is only gonna serve to rub it in that Mike is right.

His Parents; Shame Over Emotions

This one is a little self explanatory, to be honest. Karen and Ted have set a lot of expectations for Mike that are more or less impossible to meet. They have set him up with the expectation of perfect emotional independence and control from a young age and they’re often very critical of a lot of his behavior.

Ted has never been there for any of his kids. He’s never even bothered to try. All he adds to Mike’s life is disapproval and critique. Unless Mike is doing something Ted doesn’t like, Ted is totally absent in anything beyond being a money maker. He’s always nitpicking Mike’s emotions. He’s not supposed to care so much about Will in S1, he’s not supposed to react so strongly to everything that happened and act out in S2 (Ted literally implies he should be getting kicked out for this with the whole “if it was my coach, you would be getting kicked off the team” thing), he gets no critique in S3, and he’s judged by Ted in S4 for his passion for DND. The only thing he’s ever seemed to approve of is Mike having a girlfriend. Otherwise, he’s just constantly telling Mike to be less emotional about everything. He’s setting the expectation of emotional control and apathy, just like Ted himself.

Karen, on the other hand, sets a certain expects of emotional independence. The best example of this is when she tells Ted to wait for Mike to come to them after Will’s body is found. Karen does offer support sometimes, through things like open arms and offering to get Mike any movie he wants when he’s supposedly too sad to go to school. The times she chooses to support him, though, set an expectation; he’s only meant to lean on others when he’s at his absolute worst. Even then, Mike is never allowed to open up about what he’s feeling. Karen offers minimal comfort to fulfill her need to be a good parent but it doesn’t let Mike feel as though he can reach out to other people. He’s expected to reach out to others, but when he does we don’t see any real depth to those conversations (except for with Will). Mike is expected to be mature and independent enough to be the one to reach out at twelve years old. He’s expected to be able to handle himself entirely when he’s not hitting rock bottom, and then Karen expects him to reach out when he does despite never really giving him good reason to do so.

Karen and Ted don’t set many surface level expectations with Mike. They aren’t involved enough in his life to really care about whether or not he plays sports or gets good grades. They do, however, expect Mike to be able to fill in the emotional void they’ve left entirely on his own. They expect him to be able to function entirely on his own and have perfect emotional intelligence. Ted encourages him to be apathetic, but Mike is anything but. He’s filled with love and care and anger and grief but he’s expected not to feel any of it at all. Karen doesn’t help by only supporting him when he’s at his lowest of lows.

In his trance, I wouldn’t be shocked if his memories switched to his parents after something incredibly emotional where they’d treat him as though he’s overreacting to it all. It’d really be a great way to showcase how Mike is very rarely allowed to express his emotions as they truly are, and we see him reign himself back several times throughout the show when he realizes he’s putting too much care into something and people are getting frustrated with him for it. It explains why he suddenly seems apathetic when the reality is that he cares so much that he gets shamed for it.

El; Lies

This one doesn’t need a ton of explanation. One of Mike’s core values established in the very first episodes of the show is that friends shouldn’t lie to each other. He holds himself and people around him to that same standard for a long time, and we see people adopt it and hold themselves to it too through the party, but especially El and Will.

His entire relationship with El has forced him to lie. Initially, he hadn’t been lying because he did want to be in a relationship with El as he hoped it would fix him (though we do see him use small lies to get out of hanging out with El without blowing his straight boy act). By the time the ending of S3 comes around, Mike has realized that his feelings for boys, for Will, can’t change no matter how hard he tries to fix himself. El kissed him, but they had been broken up for four months and in that time Mike had grieved the loss of Will (again) and met Eddie. Mike’s accepted his sexuality, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to be open about it. At that point, he may not even like it (though by the start of S4 he does seem to be letting himself indulge in his attraction to guys beyond Will). He’s not ready to come out, and in his mind there’s no way to easily explain to El why he doesn’t want to be together without losing her entirely. So he goes with it. He starts lying.

Mike’s relationship with El after the S3 ending is a huge culmination of Mike conflicting with himself about lying. Contrary to his actions, he actually doesn’t like lying. He doesn’t want to lie to El, but also it’s impossible to be on this relationship with her without doing so. For so long he’s been lying to one of the people he cares about the most, and by the time he gets tranced El will most likely have broken up with him, revealing that his lies throughout all of this were for nothing and he’ll feel like he lost her anyway.

Mike feels plenty of guilt about lying. Even more so, he still wasn’t good enough even when he lied. Even doing the thing he hates he isn’t good enough. In the end, no matter how hard he tried to be enough for El, be the boy she wanted, he couldn’t do it. Lying caused him to lose El. He’s never good enough.

Nancy; Being Unloved

Nancy Wheeler… I have such a love/hate relationship with her specifically because of this.

Nancy is being given emphasis through her lack of presence in many ways. Over the course of the seasons, Nancy has grown more and more distant from Mike and Mike no longer feels cared about by her the way he used to. This post shows how S4 really hammers that fact in. Her lack of any sort of displayed care towards him throughout all of S4 is incredibly important and also a huge contrast to her behavior in S1.

Do I think Nancy cares about Mike? Of course I do. She does care about him. That doesn’t mean Mike feels as though she does, and that doesn’t mean she’s showing him she cares. Like at all. Every interaction they had in S4 showed Nancy as somehow annoyed or making fun of him. She was frustrated when he wasn’t dressed, seethed at Mike suggesting she join them for DND, and talked about how Mike’s room has looked worse than Hopper’s cabin. Mike doesn’t see her reaction to her vision and she gives him no indication of being worried about him upon his return. We have no reason to believe their relationship is anything different outside of what we’re being shown, and we’ve seen their relationship devolve with each season. This behavior in S4 isn’t even that new! Nancy was only barely more considerate towards him in S3.

Nancy, more than anyone else, is being shown as the absence in Mike’s life. She is missing from those core reconciliation scenes. Nancy’s love is absent in Mike’s life entirely at this point and she’s only shown to express negative feelings towards him (when he’s around).

This really isn’t hard to tie into Mike’s trance.

Everything I’ve been talking about this far contributes to this fear that Mike just… doesn’t deserve to be loved. There’s so many things he feels are wrong with him, so many things he’s destroyed. It’s an easy recipe to believe he doesn’t deserve to be loved. That people can see all the things he hates about himself and hate him for it too. Nancy is the peak example of this in S4. We don’t see any love or care expressed towards Mike that he’s made aware of and he only witnesses her frustration or the way she points out his inability to keep his room clean. Nancy used to dress up for his campaigns but now she seethes at Mike even asking her to join. Nancy used to make sure Mike was ok, even chaperoned his middle school dance, and now she doesn’t acknowledge him after he’s been missing for a week even though she was clearly worried about Jonathan. Sometime between the start of all this and now, it’s not hard to believe that Mike thinks his sister has grown to hate him no matter how far from the truth that is. Nancy doesn’t show care like she used to, and Mike is going to blame himself for that.

Will

Now, I find it nearly impossible to assign Will a role in revealing a specific part of Mike that’s been hidden from us. He’s his own category! So much of what has been hidden from us has been about Mike’s feelings for Will specifically.

There’s so many things that could happen with Mike’s feelings for Will, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Will came up as a topic multiple times and we were just given insight into things we weren’t before. Things like missing reactions throughout the show will come in to fill the gaps. We’ll probably get some sort of false confession from Will turned dark, or Will confronting Mike and telling him that he’d never feel the same for someone who’s hurt him so much.

What the trance serves to do is give us perspective on why Mike acts the way he does and give us the missing pieces, but pretty much every season except S3 has had Mike’s plot almost entirely revolves around Will. There is so much missing perspective from Mike’s relationship with Will because we have seen infinitely more of their dynamic without any of Mike’s perspective and because Will plays such a huge role in Mike’s storylines.

Will, on his own, is one of Mike’s greatest strengths and his greatest weaknesses. Everything that I’ve listed so far is something that plays heavily into Mike’s relationship with Will. Those pieces that are being given to us through other characters are filling in Mike’s story, and a ton of Mike’s story is about or includes Will, much more than any other character. When we get Will playing into Mike’s trance, it’ll probably mostly be the things we expect to see. All these missing pieces are gonna be used to fill in Mike’s story with Will in one way or another, so all these fears and insecurities I’ve listed will probably somehow end up getting looped back to Will. Will is vital to every aspect of Mike’s trance. I can’t categorize Will and give an accurate idea of what’ll happen because he’s gonna be everywhere. He’s built into every aspect of Mike’s being, therefore he’s built into the trance’s core.

Final Scene

Okay, so this past does come from the Overkill album and I discuss evidence in that original post, so here’s just a description of what my ideal final scene for Mike’s trance would be.

He’s back at the cliff. He’s spent the last unknown but ungodly long stretch of time completely alone being taunted and more or less psychologically tortured. He’s tried to wait for the music from his friends to save him, but it never came. He’s been left behind and he understands why, seeing as what all these depictions have been confirming for him. So he’s back at the cliff, ready to finally give up. Nobody is coming for him. Nobody is here to tell him to jump or make him stop. This is entirely his own choice, his own want to just let it end.

The toes of his shoes are barely over the very edge of the cliff when music starts echoing from all around him and a portal finally, finally opens. His friends are waiting for him on the other side, holding off Henry. They’re finally here. At this point, though, Mike isn’t even sure if it’s worth going back. He’s at this cliff for a reason. It’s been hammered in over and over why he deserves this. He almost wants this, wants to finally be free from it all.

His friends are screaming his name on the other side and he can’t move. God, he misses his friends. He misses Dustin and Lucas and El and he misses his family and he misses Will. After all of this, though, he doesn’t think he deserves to go back. But they’re calling for him. They want him to come home. They didn’t forget him, they came back.

Mike turns and runs towards the portal, choosing for himself to live. Right now, he’s choosing to live and come back to everyone. They came for him. It’s unbelievable, but they came for him.

This isn’t necessarily a resolution to Mike’s suicidiality more than it’s reinforcing that Mike is very suicidal, that he would jump off that cliff Dustin or no Dustin. He does have a reason to live, and it’s for the people he loves. In that same vein, he’s also willing to die for them. His care for his own life isn’t very strong, and he hasn’t yet discovered his own self worth, which could very well lead to a sacrifice to save one of them.

I think it’d 1. be so captivating and insane to watch and 2. reinforce the state of Mike’s mental health before he returns back to the real world and we’re no longer diving into the deepest depths of his mind when he does things.

anyway, hope all that was good enough!! love you based anon <3

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Nothing Compares 2 U

@makapedia​ joined the AMA party to talk with us about her 2016 Resbang, Nothing Compares 2 U! Here’s some of what went down!!

Q: You wrote a good chunk of your fic set in the nineties. Was there anything that was especially hard about that?

makapedia: Writing the fic in the 90s was hard, if just because I was six when the 90s ended, so I did not remember as much as I thought I would, so I had to research a little history.

Q: What inspired you to think of this premise/AU?

makapedia: I thiiink I was talking to Madi? And spitballing ideas, as I do, at her, and it just spiralled from there. She enabled me hard.

Q: I did love your 90s references though. You mentioned some stuff and I would have flashbacks. It was all good.

makapedia: I didn't even get to write the scene I had originally envisioned for the AU, that's so weird. I wanted more Tamagotchi scenes. I wanted Maka to leave her precious child Tamagotchi in Soul's hands and he was going to take his job as caretaker Very Seriously while she was homeworking.

Q: [This] fic was an emotional ride and so empathetically written and incredibly nuanced. What was the most emotional thing for you to write? What would you do to cheer yourself up after a difficult scene?

makapedia: The most emotional thing for me to write was definitely, um, towards the end of the first portion of the fic? I gave Soul and Maka both parts of myself in this fic, and Soul really got the raw, late teens anxiety and fear of the world and his future, and it was both easy? and hard? for me to write, especially since it was through Maka's eyes, and I could not come out and say "hey, he is depressed and unmedicated and on a downward spiral" because she just didn't understand it. I would listen to Spice Girls to cheer myself up, though.

Q: Your approach to sexuality and to mental illness is amazing and hit me in the feels. Pls discuss any extra commentary youve ever wanted to discuss on these elements of your writing.

makapedia: I don't think I even went into this thinking it was going to have such commentary on sexuality? Uh, and especially the drama/throne we put sexuality on as a culture. I think the fic really evolved that way? And I think definitely even adding as much asexual commentary in it was extra. The mental illness thing was definitely planned and I wanted to make a point of showing someone who does struggle with depression/anxiety/other taking his life into his hands and getting help and still being able, as an adult, to have relations and be happy, and be a good partner. I wish I could have shown more of that at the end, but it is what it is.

Q: What is your personal favorite scene to write, or just based on how it turned out, or whatever!

makapedia: My favorite scene to write?? Maybe was towards the end, I had a lot of fun writing spiteful angry Maka kicking in the men's bathroom door and scaring the shit out of Soul. But based on how the scene turned out, i think the smut smut scene was my favorite. It was a Long fic, longer than I anticipated or planned it being, so a lot of it just melts together in my head now.

Q: Smut scenes, how do those go?

makapedia: LOL. Are you asking me how to write smut?

Q: Yes.

makapedia: I love you so much. I am Disgustingly Demisexual and super vanilla about things, and a lot of my smut focuses more on the feeling and gross headspace than the physical part? It's easier for me that way. I am a tiny ace virgin I am terrible with smut, I have people Fooled.

Q: Pls elaborate on your Very Important Decision to give Soul Batman sheets.

makapedia: Every cool guy I have in my life really aggressively loves Batman. That was it. He seemed appropriately Edgy (or False Edgy, w/e) for Soul.

Q: I really loved your characterization of the parents in this story - both Soul's and Maka's. Did you find one set of parents easier to write and if so, why??

makapedia: Oh man. I mean, they were there but also weren't, yeah? Only Soul's dad and Maka's mom made the cut, and Maka's mom is always a mixed bag for me because we do know very little about her in canon, whereas Soul's parents are always an empty canvas, for the most part. All I know about Maka's mom is she dumped Spirit for cheating and she is "like a bear" according to Maka loool so I guess I just kind of made her a very opinionated force of nature, sort of looming over and leading Maka's future, but she's hard for me to write. I could do whatever with Soul's dad and no one could tell me I was wrong. Too much power for one girl.

Q: Was there a specific 90s artifact you wanted to include that didn't make the cut?

makapedia: Black*Star in JNCO jeans.

Q: Where did the inspiration for the Liz jealousy side plot come from? Because that KILLED me lmao.

makapedia: The Liz thing was planned but also not to the degree it ended up happening? Mostly I wanted to write about Maka's insecurity, and work through her misogyny and jealousy issues and I thought it'd be interesting to have it be a close friend, I guess? But then it evolved into Soul questioning his identity in the background and coming to terms with like, realizing he was ace? Also I wanted Maka to be weird and uncomfortable and maybe even a little jealous later, when Liz had invited him to her wedding, but some of that got lost in translation.

Q: The entire leadup to and all of the Halloween party was a gift, where did the inspiration from that come from? (Soul alone with weiner dogs, bless.)

makapedia: I really, really wanted to write Maka as baby spice and it just snowballed from there. SHE WANTED TO BE SPORTY SPICE SO BADLY. Soul is me. Hides in the back room at a party and chills with tiny dogs.

Q: Why the 90s?

makapedia: I think it was because of my own nostalgia? And also feeling like I missed out on all of the turn of the century weirdness, because I WAS so young when the 90s ended and the 2000s began. It was like a time period AU but not drastic enough for me to have to really change everything and research language and clothing and trends and culture. It was recent enough but also like... long enough ago for other people my age or a little older to be like oh, man, remember the 90s, why did we all part our hair like that? The fic really did start out very silly in my heart but then everything got dark and sad.

Q: I was gonna ask, where did this idea come from? Did something really spur it on, other than your 90s nostalgia? Was the time gap thing always there? Cause the way you entered in the future and had a good portion of the story in the past was excellent and gripped my attention.

makapedia: So, originally when I was blarging to Madi about a 90s au I think I realized it couldn't just be memes, it needed a plot? And I'd always really wanted to write like a post breakup fic where the ship Gets Back Together at a wedding and then bam kablam. The "outline" for the fic is just bare bones for the fic and then some jokes I wanted to get in. Originally I'd wanted the chapters to go back and forth, 98 to 08 and such, but I ended up settling with a big 98 portion so it felt more cohesive. Pluuus I kind of like how it sets you up to hurt and then you wade through the beginning cute with just, this sense of oh god, no, what goes wrong?

Q: I loved the character dynamics between everybody everything felt very fitting like 'yep that is so how they would be.'

makapedia: ;__; I'm so glad. Bro*Star's frosted tips.

Q: I wanted to kill him when he did the freaking card trade thing.

makapedia: LOL that boy has no tact. That cloyster joke was in the outline.

Q: Did you have any characters that you sat there going 'okay what to do with you' or were all the characters falling into place nicely from your perspective? Was Black*Star's gutter mind easy to fall into or not? XD

makapedia: hhhaaaAAA, Death the Kid was mysteriously Not There in the 90s. SORRY, KIDDO. Black*Star is so easy and fun to write, but I think I'd write 90s skater DTK.

Q: Oh well, [Kid] got to make the best reference of the whole fic lol.

makapedia: He did, he got my favorite line. I think he spoke one line and it was my favorite. 70k for an I Write Sins Not Tragedies reference. The slow realization that that album came out in 2006 and therefore Existed was the best.

Q: On a scale of one to 10, how excited were you when you realized this?

makapedia: 10. 11. That joke got me through writing the last chapter.

Q: Was there a scene in particular that went a really different direction than what you expected?

makapedia: So I don't plot ahead like... as often as i should, hhhhhhaaa. So for a lot of the middle I just hit cruise control and went wherever it took me. But a lot of the stuff about virginity and like, terrible sex ed and worrying that it would hurt a ton and she'd bleed definitely weren't things I thought I'd write. I did not intend for the First Time (tm) scene to happen then and there but then... surprise dongle! Dicks out for the ship's swan song.

Q: What song did you listen to the most while writing this?

Q: Linger by The Cranberries, I think. A big Mood. And You Oughta Know, for appropriate Anger. Aaand Nothing Compares 2 U, of course. Tho I do wonder how many younger fandom bebs don't.... know that is a song title reference.

Q: What was your favourite part of the fic?

makapedia: I think... maybe the Halloween party, because Maka is such an unreliable narrator in this fic and she is so Clueless (haaaaaa, jokes) and it was the moment she Finally realized what Liz was trying to do. Also the moment where Soul realizes too was fun.

Q: Did you intend to write Liz as the actual soma fandom or was that accidental? (Complete with our adoration of Tsubaki.)

makapedia: LOL It was a little intentional, I guess, because she was Soul's close friend in the fic. But like, Maka misunderstanding everything just kept getting worse so it was a bit accidental. God I love Tsubaki. Liz has good taste. I don't super ship it a whole lot but I still wanted to try my hand at it. I wanted them to be happy and cute.

Q: What about your LEAST favorite scene!

makapedia: The breakup scene was hard for me to write and I'm still not happy with how it came out. It still feels forced in my heart, but I had to move on.

Q: WHAT'S NEXT?

makapedia: Iiiiii already have an idea of what I'm gonna do for Resbang next year so I cannot share that, buuuut I think I'm going to continue writing Not Lovers, weird mermaid AU I started recently? and probably more AUs. This is the year I write Too Many SoMa AUs, mark my words.

Q: Okay so Soul and Liz doing the do sort of killed my heart. Was that always planned?

makapedia: Hhhhaaaa that was planned ahead of time, I guess? I wanted Maka's jealousy to have some sort of basis. This tiny demi thing who can't wrap her head around sleeping with someone like that.

Q: It broke my heart but I found it so... realistic? Like I totally know people who've experienced that, and lots of people don't have their first time with their soulmate or true love or whatev so like it HURT but also... so, so true.

makapedia: Exactly, that was what I was going for. <3 Aaaand pushing my ace agenda, lol.

Q: Correct me if I read the thing wrong, but crona got adopted by Sid and Nygus??

makapedia: Iiiii do not remember. LOL, HECK. PLEASE.... HOLD.... /FRANTICALLY GOOGLES OWN FIC. YES. OKAY. Good I was like, I think I wrote that??? But then I haven't read that part in so long. I feel like people so often just throw Stein and Marie into the role of Crona's parents and I think I wanted to mix it up.

Q: I just... Crona living with Black☆Star had me in tears.

makapedia: Also that, exactly. You can bet your butt that weenie was probably Crona's dog, but Black*Star is the one who dressed it in a costume. I also had fun writing Soul and Crona bonding over Pokemon. Nerd shit. Soul, excitedly: did you hear they're making a video game? Maka is not as well versed in Pokemon as these nerds. Soul's probably laying there in that room with the weenie playing Tetris.

Q: That visual is gold.

makapedia: I also wanted to write Black*Star taking out Soul's ankles with a Skip-It. But alas.

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Thanks again to makapedia for stoppin’ in!! More transcripts to come, stay tuned ~