#now joe probably also thought covering the perimeter was hilarious

[seawitchkaraoke]

I love how much Joe just loves helping people, like a hermit will say on stream ''hmm where did my silktouch shovel go'' or ''hmm i need some nametags'' and Joe will log in 3 seconds later and appear in their base 5 seconds later like ''hi! i have the thing you need, here you go!'' and then disappear again like some benevolent faerie or something

which is also why, out of everyone, Doc really can't blame Joe for covering the perimeter, because the buttercups asked for help! it's instinct! Grian, Scar and mumbo probably went ''hey we need some help-'' and Joe was logged in before they could even finish the sentence ''- covering Doc's perimeter''

Like the other hermits likely helped partly because it's nice to have something to do while having a meeting and partly because fucking with Doc is funny but Joe? No Joe simply can't not help someone!

(Of course this does also benefit Doc because Joe already gifted him a bunch of shulkers full of sand when he heard about Doc's sand problem without even needing to be asked)

[jasonmcgathey]

This has already been a fun, if sprawling and chaotic, section to tackle. Expect frequent changes as I continue to add to and revise the sections. It’s probably going to take a while to get a handle on this page – so just maybe, if you can, try and avoid these orange construction cones and blinking arrows straight out of the Spring-Sandusky interchange mess. If it looks a little skeletal, know that I am working on this as my current main project, and continue hoping some brilliant idea will help me organize it a little better. Until that lightning flash of inspiration arrives, maybe a series of alphabetized districts (with a couple I’m making up just now) and/or major roads is the best way to go:

Arena District (north of Spring, west of High)

Brewery District (south of the interstates, west of High)

E. Broad Street

W. Broad Street

Downtown Proper (area with most of the government buildings, etc, between Broad, the Scioto River, the interstates, and S. 4th Street)

German Village

N. High Street

S. High Street

Uptown District (everything north of Broad that isn’t covered elsewhere)

    -Arena District-

Nationwide Arena

North Market

  -Brewery District-

Though downtown as a whole has been plagued by this to some extent, the Brewery District is unique in that I feel like for 20 plus years now, there’s been this trend of bars blowing into here with a ton of hype, and being packed to the gills in what has always been a happening district – in other words, a theoretically sustainable business – but then the masses stop showing up overnight, a few months down the road, and the place is toast before you know it.

Banana Joe’s – an early lesson in how the night of the week is everything. We came here on a Friday and it was one of the most insane crowds I’ve ever witnessed; a Thursday journey maybe two weeks later had more in common with a funeral home.

Brewmasters Gate (485 S. Front St.) – this would be an excellent example of what I’m talking about. This opened as a positively cavernous club in the early 2000s, and had to be just about the most popular place in town for a good six months. A bunch of us drove down here often during the summer of its heyday, during which time it was unfailingly jam packed with young people throwing down, spilling out to the spacious patio and even the sidewalks. By the following summer, nobody came here, and you were looked at kind of strangely if mentioning it. I’m not sure exactly when it closed, but it didn’t seem to stick around very long after this. Strangely enough, the place survives and has maintained the same name, though it appears this is now just a hall people rent out for events.

Tommy Keegan’s – stumbling across this entry in my journal, from early 1998, is an especially striking example of why I’m glad to have taken so many notes. I actually forgot all about this enterprise and haven’t heard mention of it since.

Tommy Keegan’s looks vaguely like one of those modern faux Irish pubs or something, with its painted cement floor, its dark and generally unfussy atmosphere. Being located underground doesn’t hurt, either. The front, larger room holds most of the bar’s occupants, including some annoying, talent-challenged goober playing acoustic guitar and singing near the door. It’s hard to imagine he would receive much encouragement or tip money even if warbling at the campus BW3. But apparently, they pay him to come here.

The back room is a bit more subdued and we make a bee line for it. They’ve got one of those giant hoppers dispensing free popcorn back here, and even while knowing in the back of your mind it’s only going to make your thirstier, desiring ever more beer, which is why they manipulate you such, in the moment you just don’t care and grab some anyway. Or at least this is what I do.

It’s Keisha’s birthday and we started out with a much larger posse, but the war of attrition has whittled us down to these seven survivors: the birthday girl and Pam, and then Damon, Paul, John H, this Mike guy who’s kind of cool, and me. But somehow there’s this random kid just hanging out by these pool tables, of which the bar has a couple back here, and by some convoluted turn of events he winds up being partners against Paul and me in a few games of standard billiards. Damon is absolutely on fire for some reason, and they totally smoke us from start to finish. But we’ve already exhausted what limited kicks are to be found at Keegan’s, and have agreed to strike off for Victory’s next.

“Stay and play a few games with me!” the kid begs Damon, “we’ll make some money!”

“Ah, we gotta go,” Damon returns with a laugh.

Victory’s – I’ve only actually set foot inside of Victory’s once prior to this, nearly a year ago, that night of Maria’s birthday bus. And while it feels impossible to have memories down here from a year ago, which were pretty crazy yet not really referenced at all since then – neither in my thoughts nor discussions with these guys – I guess it’s another example of how the proverbial moss is growing beneath us, and we’d best keep moving if wishing to avoid entrapment by it.

So the layout here is much different that I remember, but then again, I’d been pretty blasted that night, a singular experience thus far in my Columbus residency. There are two front rooms with one long, connected bar that runs in the middle of each. One side is basically a chill out zone, while the other is encumbered with a dance floor to boogie upon, and a stage for the band. In the back, which is kept much darker, there’s an elevated second dance floor, this time under the purview of a nearby DJ booth, while beyond here the pattern repeats with that exact same scenario out on an exterior patio. The patio is not presently open, however.

Damon and Paul sit off to one side which allows them the perfect vantage point for drinking, smoking, watching and critiquing the band all at once. They call themselves Jonesy, though I’m not exactly sure of the spelling, and these guys do a fantastic job mixing 80’s covers with a few more recent selections, from the likes of Nine Inch Nails. So good, in fact, that these two are debating whether this band isn’t just miming to a tape. Featuring keyboards and electric drums, both elements you don’t see a whole lot of in this city’s live scene, they also boast an impressive live show, although it might actually belong to the bar.

The rest of us are out on the dance floor, hopping around to the music, hoping for a cheap brush of fate with one of these ladies. John breaks away from us to scout the perimeter for any fresh prospects. During this interim I do enjoy the inevitable wayward interactions with Keisha.

“I thought that was so hilarious earlier when my friend got kicked out of the bar, and you were like, gee, that’s terrible!” she’s shouting into my ear at one point, laughing hysterically.

John returns with even better information than this. “There’s a couple outrageously hot chicks on the other dance floor,” he tells me. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

We stroll off to the back room and step up to the elevated floor, casually work our way toward these two honeys. And yes, they are quite exceptional in appearance. Just as we’re about to zero in on them, however, these two dudes swoop in and throw their arms around the girls, clearly some sort of flag panting move. Damn. So the ladies are claimed, but whatever. As more ammunition mounting in this war chest of whatever you want to call it, Keisha and Pam have actually followed us back here, with Mike in tow right behind them. So they climb onto this platform with us, and we continue dancing in this dingy corridor.

-E. Broad Street-

Columbus Dispatch

Columbus Dispatch (62 E. Broad) – Home of the city’s major daily newspaper. I don’t feel like Cleveland bests Columbus in very many categories at all, but this is one exception – The Plain Dealer has always been a better paper. A lot of people, including some of my friends and I, were vaguely horrified when the Dispatch bought up treasured weekly independents, The Other Paper and Alive! True to form, they soon axed The Other Paper, citing overkill. In fairness, however, I will say they didn’t really seem to tinker with Alive! much, far less than expected.

-W. Broad Street-

COSI

Center of Science and Industry. It’s an okay spot, though much less exciting than one might imagine. A trip to the zoo or the Ohio Historical Society easily offers you much more bang for your buck. Only recommended if you’ve never been and are burned out on all the other similar options in town.

Emma digging into chocolate cake at Spaghetti Warehouse

  Spaghetti Warehouse – Treasured destination over the years, mostly because my daughter Emma is somewhat of a spaghetti maniac. Our most notable visit here was probably her 4th birthday party, which featured a memorably random cast of family members. Up above are some photos of her attacking chocolate birthday cake at that party. Maddie appears to be enjoying herself considerably just watching her sister in action. As the name would imply, it’s a great old building with a warehouse vibe, the highlight being this train car with highly in-demand seating.

  -German Village-

The original Max & Erma’s was opened down here in 1958 (739 S. 3rd Street), before becoming a franchise in 1972. Sadly this spot went belly up in 2017 and an operation known as Wunderbar currently calls this address home. But as a consolation prize, there’s no shortage of great restaurants and taverns both, mostly within walking distance of one another, down in this district.

  -Uptown District-

Mitchell’s Steakhouse

    Downtown Columbus This has already been a fun, if sprawling and chaotic, section to tackle. Expect frequent changes as I continue to add to and revise the sections.