#obsabh

[kazliin]

I remember reading umfbamha back around 2017 and being stunned by your writing and your characterization of Yuuri while still keeping the essence of who Yuuri is intact. I remember reading the first few chapters of obsabh back when it was in progress and I just finished it this weekend and I just have to say wow. I’m still so stunned by your writing and characterization to this day, now on both perspectives here, keeping your story coherent without missteps and weaving such a lovely story. I just want to thank you for writing the rivals au. Your writing is such an inspiration!

Thank you for reading!! 😊

[secondus]

so @kazliin writes this amazing fic called ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ and if you haven’t read it yet i recommend you do because it’s beautiful and the angst gives me life ((seriously, just so much great angst)) i honestly love that fic to death 

[sheltered-by-viktuuri]

A piece I’m proud of for @kazliin. Rereading Rivals from umfb and still gritting my teeth and waving my fists for these two!

“Phantom music filled the ice rink, a distant melody that echoed through the years and guided Yuuri’s movements as his mind finally fell into unthinking bliss. Lost in the music and the movements that even time could not dispel.” (UMFB Ch. 7)

“Viktor Nikiforov was twenty-three. And he was completely in love with Yuuri Katsuki.” (OBS Ch. 1)

“Yuuri, still lost in the eddies of his own thoughts, never noticed a thing.” (UMFB Ch. 7)

[keysmash]

It took me over a week to recover from Chapter 8 of OBS&BH So here’s my small contribution to everyone’s favourite scene 😭 Dear @kazliin I can’t wait for the final chapter and for RPPF. It hurt so good I’m living! I wanted to draw the final scene where Viktor hugs Makkachin but my heart can’t take it. Somebody please do it!

I remember Kaz answered an ask about Viktor being haunted by Yuuri’s anguish expression even after they’ve gone official. I imagine something like that 3rd panel there.

With that out of my system, time to type my fic. It’s been stuck at 2,245 words for 10 days now lol.

[woodentrain]

Me:  I am awesome and strong.  This is how ready I am for the Rivals doping scandal.  BRING IT ON.

Also me, secretly:  Oh no wait.  This is actually how ready I am. The best I can hope for is not to die of angst.

[randompasser]

“I know, I miss him too.”

The lack of time and my lost inspiration to draw has been plaguing me for a while now. Somehow, I found my way to @kazliin ’s second fic, Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts, long after I read the first one and I loved it so much. The companion fic works so well with the original and it’s such a good study of their psychology :3 I read through all the chapters in one go cos I was so addicted and I even kept checking back to the original to compare. I’m so grateful to kazliin for this and giving me my inspiration back that I gotta do a few quick sketches. It’s still a bit rusty from not drawing for a while but I think I’ll redo it.

[orogenese]

@kazliin hope you win that bet ! i really liked yuuri’s constantly changing costume :)

[amereslare]

For @kazliin ‘s Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts

Oops sorry not sorry Victor.

[pettytwinknhs]

Maybe I Don’t Want Heaven - An Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts Playlist

A fic by @kazliin, you can find it HERE

Listen on Spotify

So, for the past few months I have fallen in the Rivals AU pit of misery and I don’t think i can or want to get out of there, so here’s a little something I wanted to do now that I’m reading Viktor’s side of the story (which let me tell yoou I think it’s equally or even more hearwrenching than Yuri’s). So I tried to convey what I think Viktor’s feeling through this playlist (emphasis on “I tried”).

Oh…and by the way, if you want to increase the pain to 1000% I suggest to read both parts of the fic simultaneously, I promise the hurt it’s totally worth it hahaha.

Now, I’m just going to rant a little about the songs lol

Strangers - Halsey feat. Lauren Jauregui

When I wake up all alone And I’m thinking of your skin I remember, I remember what you told me 

 Said that we’re not lovers, we’re just strangers With the same damn hunger To be touched, to be loved, to feel anything at all 

Still Falling For You - Ellie Goulding

Beautiful mind Your heart got a story with mine Your heart got me hurting at times Your heart gave me new kind of highs Your heart got me feeling so fine So what to do Still falling for you 

Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door Wishing you’d come sweepin’ in the way you did before And I wonder if I ever cross your mind For me it happens all the time

Something Great - One Direction

I want you here with me Like how I pictured it So I don’t have to keep imagining

Come on, jump out at me Come on, bring everything Is it too much to ask for something great? 

Snake Eyes - Mumford & Sons

It’s in the eyes I can tell, you will always be danger We had it tonight, why do you leave it open? 

Nicotine - Panic! at the Disco

Just one more hit and then we’re through ‘Cause you could never love me back Cut every tie I have to you ‘Cause your love’s a fucking drag But I need it so bad Your love’s a fucking drag But I need it so bad 

Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan

I wanna hold hands with you But that’s all I wanna do right now And I wanna get close to you Cause your hands and lips still know their way around 

Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia

It’s dangerous To fall in love, but I Wanna burn with you tonight Hurt me There’s two of us We’re bristling with desire The pleasure’s pain and fire Burn me 

Distance - Christina Perri

I’ll give you everything I am, All my broken heartbeats. Until I know you’ll understand.

And I will make sure to keep my distance, Say I love you when you’re not listening, How long, can we keep this up, up, up? 

All Of Me - John Legend

'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I’ll give my all to you You’re my end and my beginning Even when I lose I’m winning 

Light - Sleeping at Last

’Сause you are loved. You are loved more than you know. I hereby pledge all of my days To prove it so. Though your heart is far too young to realize The unimaginable light you hold inside, 

I’ll give you everything I have. I’ll teach you everything I know. I promise I’ll do better. 

Heaven - Troye Sivan

The truth runs wild Like a tear down a cheek Trying to save face, and daddy heart break I’m lying through my teeth 

This voice inside Has been eating at me Trying to replace the love that I fake With what we both need 

Alone - Heart

But the secret is still my own and my love for you is still unknown Alone Till now I always got by on my own I never really cared until I met you And now it chills me to the bone How do I get you alone 

With Me - Sum 41

Through it all, I made my mistakes I stumble and fall, but I mean these words

I want you to know: with everything, I won’t let this go These words are my heart and soul I’ll hold on to this moment, you know 'Cause I’d bleed my heart out to show that I won’t let go 

Fix You - Glee Cast

And high up above or down below When you’re too in love to let it go But if you never try you’ll never know Just what you’re worth Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you 

Fools - Troye SIvan

Only fools fall for you, only fools Only fools do what I do, only fools fall Oh, our lives don’t collide, I’m aware of this We’ve got differences and impulses and your obsession with 

Best of Me - Sum 41

I’m sorry It’s all that I can say You mean so much, and I’d fix all that I’ve done If I could start again I’d throw it all away To the shadows of regrets, and you would have the best of me 

All I Want - Kodaline

'Cause you brought out the best of me A part of me I’d never seen You took my soul wiped it clean Our love was made for movie screens

But If you loved me Why did you leave me Take my body Take my body All I want is All I need is To find somebody I’ll find somebody 

Human - Christina Perri

I can fake a smile I can force a laugh I can dance and play the part If that’s what you ask Give you all I am I can do it I can do it I can do it But I’m only human And I bleed when I fall down I’m only human And I crash and I break down 

Chasing Cars - Sleeping at Last

Those three words Are said too much They’re not enough

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me And just forget the world? 

Stay the Night - Zedd feat. Hayley Williams

I know that we are upside down So hold your tongue and hear me out I know that we were made to break so what? I don’t mind

You kill the lights, I’ll draw the blinds Don’t dull the sparkle in your eyes I know that we were made to break so what? I don’t mind 

Scared to be Lonely (Acoustic Version) - Martin Garrix feat. Dua Lipa

And I wonder why Wonder what for Why we keep coming back for more Is it just our bodies? Are we both losing our minds? Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight 'Cause we’re scared to be lonely? Do we need somebody Just to feel like we’re alright? Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight 'Cause we’re scared to be lonely? 

[lesbianonice]

Yuuri, clearly super smug about finally beating Viktor and with the intent to be insulting: Enjoying the view?

Viktor: There Is No Heterosexual Explanation For This

[saecookie]

Every time @kazliin updates ♥. I just couldn’t resist when I saw Nardole with that line hahahaha.

(I may or may not be catching up my Doctor Who.)

[emvisc]

‘I’m in love, with a fairytale

Even though it hurts’

‘Coz I don’t care if I lose my mind

I’m already cursed’

Its Eurovision season again and Alexander Rybak is the best thing to come out of that godforsaken contest.

[yuri-on-ice-ice-babyyyy-blog]

OBS&BH Highlights

-“obviously taking great amusement in the fact that Viktor had not only been caught looking but that Yuuri had so unexpectedly flirted back, sly and teasing”

Oh Viktor. Oh, honey. No. this poor man so desperately wants The Love of His Life to notice him that he literally took a long-planned, thought out insult and turned it into a flirtatious gesture. 

-“There was absolutely no other way to look at the comment”

A R E   Y O U   S U R E   A B O U T   T H A T   S W E E T Y 

-Viktor writing an literal novel about his arm around Yuuri’s shoulder, while Yuuri was just there like “why do we have to get off the podiums. get ur arm off me scrub”

-CHRIS BEING WINGMAN OF THE YEAR 

-Viktor taking paragraphs to describe Yuuri’s nearly-naked body and then seeing christophe and being like “lol yeah and chris is also naked. now back to yuuri.”

-“”You have…pretty eyes.” Viktor nearly tripped over the bed in surprise.”

Viktor ‘Extra’ Nikiforov just watched this guy pole dance naked in front of an entire room of people and got his hair pulled, yet he can’t handle Yuuri complimenting his eyes. 

- “finally, after years of wanting, he finally had something in return. Not everything, not the closeness in every sense of the word that he had been dreaming of but the first small fraction, the rest hopefully eventually following in its wake.”

This dude is planning  l o n g t e r m. He didn’t even hesitate to throw himself into this HEADFIRST with EVERY FIBER OF HIS BEING. Viktor’s philosophy in this story is “either yuuri and i will get married or i will die sad and alone.” There’s no middle ground.

-”It almost seemed like no time had passed when the doors finally slid open again, Viktor far too caught up in kissing Yuuri to notice almost anything else.”

could you imagine if there had been. like. an ISU employee waiting to get on the elevator just then. neither of them would have even noticed that they were basically having sex in the hallway in front of a horrified person who probably decided to quit their job the next day. 

-”He would give Yuuri the whole wardrobe if he asked for it.”

No comment. This boy is so far gone, I dont even think it needs to be explained. 

-”he had also enjoyed the playful way that Yuuri had flipped them over, taking control of the encounter”

i distinctly remember that in UMFB&MHA yuuri thought it was a huge power struggle between them. he so desperately wanted to be on top to show that he was more powerful than viktor.. and then viktor’s thoughts were something along the lines of “omg this cute lil boy look how playful he’s being, flipping me over. my turn to flip him over!!! look at all the fun we have together.”

[sheltered-by-viktuuri]

Viktuuri inspired by the lyrics (translated): life is too short, don’t think don’t be afraid don’t back down, right now is forever. Idk, the lyrics just touch me, and it somehow gives me abstract rivals Viktuuri feel.

[keysmash]

Umm so I kinda drew a scene from @kazliin ’s Rival series. I imagine Viktor was trying not to cry because he was soooooo touched and overwhelmed with conflicting emotions during “The Borscht Scene”, and at one point he looked sideways to say “Vkussssno” like he couldn’t believe it. And then he would totally miss Yuuri’s lovesick smile sent his way. These two are all about missed opportunities I caaaaan’t aggghhh.

[woodentrain]

Why does it hurt so much?

It’s been a week now, and it still hurts.  The doping scandal from Viktor’s point of view, that is.  It was so much worse than Yuuri’s side of the story.  And I have a lot of ideas as to why this is, so if you’re interested, here goes.  

We knew what was coming.  This meant there was the whole of the first half of the chapter to build up the tension for the inevitable misery.  All of the nice things that happened between them were so bittersweet, because we knew where this chapter was going to end.  With Yuuri’s side of the story we never had that- we were hopeful about them working things out right up to the point when it all went wrong.

Viktor knew what he almost had.  Yuuri was never certain- in fact he didn’t even suspect Viktor’s feelings for him were anything much at all until much later.  It’s a bit abstract for him, because he wasn’t sure Viktor was interested in taking things further- in fact he’d braced himself for rejection, which was why he never quite plucked up the courage to tell Viktor about his feelings (which he was certain were not reciprocated to the extent he felt about Viktor).

Viktor was so close to getting what he’d dreamed of for years.  It was bad for Yuuri, of course, but he’d only known his feelings for Viktor for a few weeks.  All the little things Viktor had so desperately wanted had started to happen- Yuuri kissing him whilst cuddling in bed, saying his name during sex, and so on.  And then it all gets snatched away.

Viktor had let himself hope again.  He’d had hopes of his and Yuuri’s relationship before, and they’d been dashed and he got hurt and closed himself off.  And over time, he slowly started to hope again, he was taking so many baby steps… until it all fell apart.

Viktor is the one left behind.  Yuuri got to make the decision to walk away.  Viktor was the one left behind, powerless to do anything, not even able to apologise.

Viktor messed up.  He’s left feeling guilty.  Really guilty, and sorry, and generally bad.  He knows he hurt Yuuri in the past and he knows how much it affected Yuuri (and indeed, therefore, their whole relationship) but he never got to the bottom of what, exactly, started this whole thing.  And at this point in his story it looks like he probably never will. So now he’s hurt Yuuri again he’s going to feel guilty, not to mention worried that they will never be able to get past this.

Viktor is completely broken by what happens.  At the end of his version of the chapter, Yuuri is hurt, yes, but still trying to process everything that’s happened.  It’s not until he gets home that he finally breaks down.   And even then it lacks the intensity of Viktor’s feelings… for all the reasons already given).

To conclude:  The Big Talk can’t come soon enough.  This angst is a lot to cope with, even for me!