#of the ‘nah this guy is too much of a screw up outcast to go anywhere but the grave’ variety

[threeletterslife]

04 | Illegirl

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→ summary: Excelling in every school subject, acing every math test and conquering the academic world is something you do as easily as breathing. As your residential social outcast nerd, you live rather as a recluse, talking to almost no one except for your dear ol’ cousin and that sweet boy in a few of your classes—Jungkook? was that his name? Befriending your ʰᵒᵗ AP stats teacher was the last thing on your high school senior agenda…

→ genre: 90% fluff, 8% crack, 2% angst | teacher!au & f2l!au

→ warnings: profanity again, mentions of depression and physical abuse, mentions of sharing a bed (because jimin is freaky) & pretty bad pms-ing

→ wordcount: 7.4k

You walk into Jimin's classroom, as usual, setting down your backpack as you prepare to wait for a couple of hours for your teacher to finish grading tests.

"Hey, Y/N," Jimin says as you sit down at your desk. He grins happily at you. "I actually finished grading everything for once, so I was thinking we could go and grab something to drink. It's my treat since I feel bad for always making you wait after school for me."

"Really?" you say, excited. "Then can we go to that new coffee shop? Wattbucks was it? It's a bit far from here, but I hope that's fine."

You had purposely suggested a place far away from your school, afraid of any of your peers seeing you grab a drink with your teacher. That would surely raise some suspicion to gossipy, hormonal teenagers.

Jimin nods to your relief. "Yeah, I think it was called Wattbucks. Let's go, I could use a good latte."

"I'm gonna totally tease Jin. He's always wanted to learn latte art," you laugh as you get up from your seat and swing your backpack over your shoulder.

Your friend laughs as he opens the classroom door for you to get out first. "I'm not surprised. That cousin of yours loves anything food-related. I think that's where you got it, Y/N the hog."

You slap his shoulder.

After spending more time picking a drink than you spend taking your math tests, you finally decide on a cute aesthetic one that claims to come with a heart latte art.

"I'll have the same as her," Jimin tells the barista.

"Copycat," you murmur as your teacher pays for the drinks.

"Am not," Jimin murmurs back as both of you choose a nice, warm seat in the corner of the cafe. "I wanted the heart-shaped latte too! You just ordered first."

You roll your eyes dramatically. "Fine, fine," you sigh as you adjust your seat on the plush cushion set beneath you. "This place is so nice."

"Does Jin not take you out often?" Jimin asks as he stretches back comfortably. "I should take you to WattDonald's sometime—it has a nicer interior design."

"No, he insists eating at home is much healthier or some shit," you sigh, then you frown, processing the other half of Jimin's words. "Wait, are you telling me you literally judge cafes by their interior design?" you ask.

"Why not?"

"I don't know... because you go to cafes to eat? Not see?" you say sarcastically.

Jimin laughs. "If you're going to eat, might as well eat someplace nice, right?"

You snort. "I'm no queen. I can eat in a dumpster and still be happy that I'm eating," you remark.

"Y/N the hog," Jimin whispers, grinning mischievously at you.

"Hey!" you shout, slamming your hands on the table.

Jimin only laughs. "Calm down!" he says between his laughter. "I was joking!"

You're still seething when a waitress practically skips over and hands you and Jimin your matching drinks.

Immediately you forget your dispute with Jimin as your eyes turn wide in wonder. "Oh, it's so pretty!" you coo at the drink. The cream-colored coffee cup to the elegant heart etched into the foam—it was all so beautiful.

Jimin nods, admiring his drink as well.

"Jin's going to die when I send him a picture of this!" you say as you fish out your phone and start to snap pictures of the rather photogenic cup of latte.

It doesn't take long before Jimin starts to photobomb, making silly faces in the background of your aesthetic pictures. "Jimin!" you whine. "Jokes on you, I'm sending the ugliest picture of you with the latte to Jin!"

Jimin shrugs. "As long as Jin doesn't post it, I'm fine."

"I'll tell him to," you say, evilly.

"My best friend wouldn't betray me like that."

"My favorite cousin wouldn't betray me like either," you say. "He'll post it!"

You quickly text Jin the picture.

You look up from your phone to see Jimin talking to the waitress.

"Yes! We've been dating for three years now," Jimin says, suddenly putting an arm around you.

"Wha—" you say, shocked out of your mind. Was he drunk again? But drunk from a latte? Was that even scientifically possible?

"Thank you so much for offering us a free couple's mini cake," Jimin tells the waiter, squeezing your shoulder.

OhhhHhhHh. You catch on. You want that complimentary cake.

You nod. "Three years strong!" you giggle.

"Oh, how adorable!" the waitress squeals, "I'll get you two the cake! Would you like a photo afterward? Even your lattes match!"

"Yes please," you say. "My cousin would want to see a picture of us."

Jimin nods, catching on. "Jin, that rascal. I've always told him to find a girl of his own."

The waitress laughs. "Oh, how adorable!" she repeats, "I'll get the mini cake!" And with that, she disappears into the kitchen.

You start to laugh. "Jimin, what the hell?"

"What? Free food!" his whispers in your ear.

You forget his arm was around you until he takes it away, the warm imprint still hovering over you.

The waitress comes back in a flash, holding a small, aesthetically pleasing cake. She places it smack in the middle of the table, as Jimin snakes his arm around your waist to play couple again.

You hand the waitress your phone, which she gladly takes. "Keep posing!" she says as she starts to snap photos repeatedly.

You and Jimin rotate from smiling to silly faces to pouty faces, but the waitress just won't stop with the pictures. Finally, she pauses, putting your phone down a bit.

"Only your faces look different, move your bodies!" she urges. "Kiss! It'll look adorable!"

You and Jimin give each other looks.

Oh shit.

"Oh no, we're completely fine," Jimin says as you nod in agreement.

The waitress scrunches her eyebrows. "A couple, huh?" she says. That's when it occurs to you that now you two are a suspicious couple.

Okay, but since when did couples have to kiss on demand??

"Let's just do it for the picture, Jimin," you say.

Jimin whirls on you, giving you a panicked look, but he quickly replaces it with a smile, nodding. "Okay Y/N, whatever you say."

"Adorable!" the waitress squeals.

You're starting to think this woman is the most annoying person ever.

With a bit of hesitation, you and Jimin turn to each other, Jimin cupping your face with his warm hands as you naturally sling your arms around his shoulders. He doesn't even look nervous as he habitually licks his full lips. You, on the other hand, knew you are beet red and you look a bit nervous as you both lean into each other, lips inching closer and closer. This just reminds you of the first time you'd kissed your teacher...

No, Y/N!

You almost feel bad, wondering if Jimin actually thought you'd kiss him. With only an inch to spare before your lips would meet, you jump back, laughing.

"Jiminie!" you whine. "Your breath stinks!"

"It does not!" Jimin shouts defensively before realizing your save. "Okay fine, I forgot my mint today."

The waitress laughs. "Even more adorable!" she says, not even suspecting a thing. "I took a picture of you two just about to kiss though!"

"Let me guess," you say. "It's adorable."

The annoying waitress nods. "How'd you guess?" she says as she happily hands back your phone.

"I had a hunch," you reply.

"Okay, well, I'll leave you two to finish up your adorable date!" the waitress sings as she practically skips away.

You turn to Jimin. "That's a fuckload of trouble you almost got us in, Jiminie," you say.

Your teacher laughs. "The save of the century brought to you by Y/N," he jokes. "God, I almost thought we had to reenact that time I was dru—"

"Oh shut up," you say, nudging Jimin, feeling your face turn red. "That was not appropriate."

"Whatever," Jimin chuckles. "Now what are you going to do with those couple photos we just took?" he teases. "Blackmail me?"

You perk up. "Wow, that's actually a good idea," you tease back. "I'll keep them—you know, for memories."

"Good idea."

"And maybe send them to Jin."

"Goddammit," you breathe as you stand helplessly outside your house. Jimin had just dropped you off and you were pretty sure he had driven away by now. You were screwed. Being your dumb self, you had forgotten your house keys and now you were locked out of the house. "Shit," you breathe. "This is just swell."

"Everything all right?" a familiar voice calls from behind. You whirl around, surprised to see Jimin watching you from his car.

"What are you still doing here?" you ask, frowning slightly as you start to walk up to your teacher's car.

"I always watch until you're inside your house," Jimin says, "just in case something were to happen. I thought you knew."

"Uh, no," you say, your brows creasing.

"Well, now you do." Jimin shrugs, quickly changing the topic. "Now what's the problem?"

You sigh, rolling your eyes at yourself. "Being the dumbass that I am, I locked myself out of my house."

Jimin chuckles, his eyes scrunching up cutely as usual. "Wow, I can't believe you're my best student. Get in the car, I guess you can stay at my house."

You freeze. "Uh, you sure?" you say. "Won't I bother you or something?"

But it was more like: Holy fuck am I really going to consider staying over at my teacher's house?? These days, other girls in your grade were busy staying over at guys' houses that were in their age range doing who knows what. You? Not so much.

"Nah, you won't be a bother," Jimin says surely. "It's always nice to have company."

As genuine as your friend sounds, you're still a bit skeptical. After all, it is your teacher's house... Mentally, you thank God that it's Friday. You don't want to imagine the awkwardness if you went to school the next day in the same clothes as before, all the while pulling up in Jimin's car. You shudder slightly at the thought.

But you also kinda have no choice.

"Okay... then," you say hesitantly as Jimin smiles and reaches over to open the car door for you. You clumsily climb back into his car. "Thanks, uh, I guess."

It feels a bit weird at first to step foot into Jimin's house. It's rather larger than you've imagined a teacher's house to be, but you can still tell that it's a cozy place.

"Make yourself at home," Jimin says, gesturing towards his commodious abode. "You can take the bed later, I'll sleep on the couch."

You nod. "Uh, yeah, thanks."

Goddammit. Is it just me or is this fucking awkward?

"Hey, do you usually cook?" you ask, hoping to brush off some awkwardness.

"Not really. I get takeout," Jimin answers. "But I think I have ramen somewhere if you don't wanna go out."

"Ooh, yes!" you say, never a girl to pass up ramen, or food in general. "It's just that... I don't really know how to cook it. When Jin said I can't cook for shit, he meant it," you confide, shrugging.

Jimin shrugs too. "Me neither. But how hard can it be?"

Your jaw drops. "Maybe we should get takeout then. I don't want to burn your house down or something," you say as Jimin makes his way to his spacy kitchen.

"Nah," your teacher answers as he rummages through his kitchen cabinets and fishes out two packs of ramen. "Like I said, how hard can it be?" Instinctively, Jimin rips both packs open, takes out the important contents and tosses the bags away.

"Shouldn't we use the directions you just trashed?" you ask, crossing your arms over your chest and frowning.

"It's fine, Y/N," Jimin says, waving his hand. "It's just ramen, how hard can it be?" Your teacher pulls out a large pot and fills it three-quarters with water. "Do you think this is enough?"

You squint at the water sloshing again the pot, scrutinizing the amount. "I dunno. Maybe you should put a bit more just in case. More doesn't hurt, right?"

"Right." Jimin fills the pot with water to the brim. "I think this is alright."

You nod. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure I've seen Jin boil the water first."

"Do you know how long he boils it?" Jimin asks as he places the pot on the stove and turns it on in one swift move.

"Not really... But I remember he told me once you need bubbles in the water," you reply as you examine the water carefully.

"Like this?" Jimin asks as he cautiously points at minuscule bubbles forming around the ring of the pot.

You squint. "Those are some tiny-ass bubbles. But they're bubbles nonetheless," you say, chuckling slightly.

"See? I told you. This is easy," Jimin chuckles. "And fast," he adds. "Now we add in the ramen."

"Yup," you say. "Logically, we should let it cook for a while."

"So... thirty minutes?"

"Exactly what I was thinking."

But thirty minutes later, something didn't look quite right.

"Um, Jimin, is the water supposed to spill out from the sides?" you inquire, tapping your teacher's shoulder.

"No, shit, Y/N!" Jimin screams, as he dashes over to the overflowing pot and starts an attempt to turn the fire off. However, that was definitely not a good idea, especially since the steaming water was pouring down on the sides of the pot. "Ah, fuck!" your teacher shouts. "That's hot!" Jimin waves his red hand away.

"God, Jimin, you okay?" you shriek as you rush over and get a rag to safely turn the stove off.

"Yeah. Yeah," Jimin brushes your question off, covering his hurt hand with his good one.

"Get some ice," you say as you try to fan away the smoke that was now making its way up to the smoke detectors. "Ah, shit," you say, just as the fire alarm goes off.

Jimin, icing his bright red hand falls to the floor in frustration as the annoying alarm makes an atrocious racket.

Fuck my life.

"Don't just sit there! Help me open the windows!" you scream at your teacher as you jump around the house, opening every window and every door you spy. Soon, Jimin's sprinting around with you, helping you with the task.

Several minutes later, the blasted fire alarm stops beeping. You and Jimin collapse on the floor side by side, breathing hard and looking dazed.

"We are never cooking again," you sigh, rubbing your forehead. "How's your hand?" you ask your teacher, looking over at him.

"Nothing that'll scar," Jimin says, rubbing ice on his hand. "God, I didn't know cooking ramen would actually be hard. I'm sorry."

You laugh. "No hard feelings. It wasn't your fault."

"Technically, it's a good thing all of this happened because I think I bought that ramen a decade ago," Jimin chuckles. "Things could've been worse if we ate that."

"You what?!"

Jimin laughs heartily. "It was all back when I thought I was going to cook for myself," he explains shortly. He suddenly turns to you, grinning. "So... for dinner, I was thinking Plan B. Pizza?"

"Pizza," you agree, smiling.

Munching on pizza slices and drinking diet coke, you and Jimin were sitting on the living room sofa, sharing small stories with each other.

"My parents totally did not want me to be a teacher," Jimin says. "I graduated from one of the top three colleges so they thought it was a waste for me to teach a bunch of teenagers."

"Should I be offended?" you chuckle. "But you seem to really like math and teaching in general. I think your job fits you."

Jimin grins at you. "Really?"

"Mhm. Besides, you have a perfect life, don't you? Parents, friends, best friends..."

Jimin raises his eyebrows. "And you don't? Good grades, caring cousin, amazing teacher..." He wiggles his eyebrows. "Perfect life," he purrs.

But you don't laugh and instead shake your head. "No, you don't understand," you bite out. Maybe a bit harshly—which you hadn't intended.

Jimin looks at you, startled from your sudden change in tone. "Woah, there, sorry," he quickly apologizes.

His sincerity immediately makes you feel bad and you sigh, shaking your head. "No, you shouldn't be apologizing," you say. "I... I just get extra moody when it comes to this."

"But aren't you always moody?" Jimin pokes fun at you as you shove him to the side. "Sorry, sorry!" Jimin squeaks as you shove him again. But as soon as he gains his straight posture back and looks over at you, you can tell he became serious. "Hey, Y/N, if you need to vent to me, I'm here to listen," he says.

You raise your eyebrows. "Who says I need to vent?"

"Your mood swings tell me everything." Jimin shrugs.

"You—"

"Y/N, I'm here to listen, not judge. You can trust me," Jimin interrupts, his voice convincingly soothing.

Goddammit, Jimin.

You sigh, rubbing your forehead. "Can I trust you?"

"You need me to trust you," Jimin answers. "Besides, hasn't anyone told you it's healthy to vent?"

You let out a rather aggressive sigh. "Fine."

"I'll be a great listener, I promise!" your teacher says as he snuggles into his couch, looking expectantly at you.

"Uh," you say, unsure of where to start. "Okay, lemme think, the school lunch is just plain nasty, students need to stop smoking in the bathroom and teachers need to stop giving tests on the same fucking day," you finish proudly.

Jimin laughs. "No way."

"No way, what?"

"You're so not moody because of those dumb reasons," your teacher accuses.

You frown. "And how would you know?"

"C'mon, those reasons are just stupid, Y/N!" Jimin laughs. "You've always been the worst at making up excuses. What's the real deal?"

You groan. "I'm so embarrassed," you mutter. "I don't even know where to start."

"Start wherever's comfortable," your teacher says in a coaxing voice. "No need to be embarrassed. I won't judge, I promise."

"I dunno, Jimin," you say.

"Have you told Jin your problem?" Jimin asks.

"Well, of course. He's literally involved in it," you say.

"And does Jin judge you for your problems?" Jimin inquires.

"Well, no—"

"Then I'll obviously do the same," your teacher answers. "I'll be another person in your life that will care to listen. Now, continue."

You slowly digest his words, taking in each meaning. Then, you hesitantly nod. "I guess... my problem isn't really much about school," you confess. "I think I use the school to distract myself from my problems." You pause, turning your head to look at Jimin, his face inches away from yours.

He stares back at you, his wide, chocolate eyes softening. His eyes tell you to continue.

"Um," you mutter. "Jin's the only good family I have at the moment," you say slowly, choosing your words wisely in your head. You pause again, looking towards your teacher but he's silent, his full attention on you and your story, so you continue.

You sigh deeply. "Maybe several years ago I had a lot of friends," you say. "I remember I was pretty damn popular too..." you trail off. "And honestly, I was really happy in the beginning, you know, being the center of attention and all... but I guess things changed and I realized... I-I was too different from my friends." You awkwardly shift your position on the couch and pause, choosing your next words carefully. "My friends were close to their families."

Jimin shifts up, crossing his legs and leaning forward to listen more intently. You take that as a sign to continue on once more.

"I guess I never really had a family, as cliche as that sounds. I mean, I had a mom and a dad, but what's the use of having them if they neglect me?" you say slowly. "I was never told that I was loved... I was misunderstood, misjudged. I dunno, this sounds so dumb and non-original," you sigh.

"Hey," Jimin says softly. "No problem you have is dumb. No problem is cliché." He puts a soft hand over yours; and it's not a gesture to seduce you, no, it's the complete opposite—it's a calming gesture, a supportive one, telling you to trust him with your past.

You nod gratefully. "You know, I've always hated the way young adult novels always portrayed family problems. They do it just so they hide the worst part of it—the yelling, the name-calling... Then the protagonist always meets the guy that seems to solve all of her problems and totally end up romanticizing pain and depression..." you trail off and take a deep breath. "Anyways, back then, I didn't even have anyone to vent to. I didn't have Jin, or you. I could never get my friends to understand either. Besides, when I'd tell them about how my mom would verbally abuse me, or when my dad would physically abuse me, they'd compare my pain with their little first world problems."

Jimin rubs small circles on your hand. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

You shrug, giving your teacher a weak smile. "I'm okay now, I promise. But back then I obviously wasn't. I remember one of my so-called friends complaining about how their mother didn't buy them the white wattPhone X and got them the black one instead or some kind of shit right after I poured my heart out about my family situation. And I dunno, something about people not seeming to care about me and my struggles just made me build up my own stress and anxiety," you explain. "I think I wasn't doing so mentally well back then."

It's then when you realize you're worked up. Your breathing was abnormally quick and your heart beat rapidly in your chest as you couldn't help but cover your eyes with your hands. "I'm not going to fucking cry," you mutter into your hands.

"You can cry, I won't judge," Jimin assures you.

And that was all it took for you for your tears to start flowing out of your eyes.

"I was never good enough for anyone! But especially my parents. One single mistake, you know, maybe second place in Science Olympiad would cause them to bring out a train of other failures I've had in my life. I'd work my ass off every day, but it would never be enough. And as I got older, I decided to fight for what I thought was right, so I'd talk back to them. But of course, when that happened they'd start ranting about how ungrateful I am. Sometimes I felt like I was more important to them for the letter grade I produce than the actual human being that I am," you whisper the last part. "I always felt like I could disappear into thin air and no one would miss me."

You feel a warm hand pat your back reassuringly. That lets you know you can continue. "I remember my parents talking about a rich aunt and uncle. So that one day I was so fed up with myself, I left the house with nothing and found myself at their doorstep."

Jimin starts to rub soft circles on your back and you lean into his touch, feeling so cared for, despite what you encountered in your past.

"My aunt and uncle were really skeptical about me staying at their house. It wasn't like my parents died or anything. It was just me, begging to stay because I didn't like my own parents. I'm pretty sure they would've driven me back to my house if Jin hadn't intervened. I distinctly remember that time," you say. "Jin, their only child, arguing for me to stay."

"That sounds like him," Jimin comments and you nod. "So does it get better after that?"

"Barely," you reply. "My parents found out pretty soon that I was living with my aunt and uncle. God, you have no idea how mad they got. Actually, it was more like infuriated and enraged. They told me I was a pathetic parasite always fishing for the best like I was some gold digger."

"I'm so sorry," Jimin whispers, taking your hand again. You nod your head, silently thanking him for his support.

"But it did get better. I made strong bonds with Jin," you say. "It's just that it became clear that I was just a nuisance to the family. Money was being spent on me, time was being used on me... I just felt guilty all the time. So I left or tried to leave. Jin stopped me and offered to run away with me. Apparently, he wanted to live his own life and write his own future," you say. "Our parents still don't know where we are and we're not letting them find us anytime soon."

"Are they not looking?" Jimin asks.

"I dunno and I honestly don't even care," you answer. "Jin and I made sure we moved far away enough."

Jimin nods. "Good."

You smile at your friend's support. "You know, Jin's a lot like you."

"Really?"

"His parents wanted him to continue his father's business like any rich son would, but Jin wanted to work in the theater department. He followed his passion and guided me here," you say. "Kinda what you're doing."

"Exactly what I'm doing." Jimin smiles, patting your hand before letting go. "Well, that was some life story."

"I try not to dramatize it." You shrug. "So did it work?"

"Eh..." Jimin says, "I'm trying to hold back my tears." He wipes away nonexistent tears with a silly grin on his face.

You roll your eyes. "Such a goof."

Jimin shrugs, suddenly becoming scarily serious. "Y/N... so it's because of your past that you have... er, trust issues?"

You flinch. "Possibly."

Jimin gives you a look.

"Okay, fine, yes. You caught me. I don't wanna make fake friends as I made in the past—even though family problems pushed me down, not having friends to support me kept me down. Jin and you are the only people that I've ever fully trusted."

Jimin nods. "Hey, I understand. I know how you feel."

You raise your eyebrows. "You do? Don't you have 50 million friends?" you ask.

"Well, out of the 50 million, guess how many I actually trust," he says, leaning back and taking a sip of his coke. Jimin scrunches his nose. "Ew, this thing isn't even fizzy anymore."

You giggle, rolling your eyes slightly. "I'm guessing you trust seven," you say. "It's a lucky number."

"Nope, one," Jimin replies. "Your cousin."

"Are you trying to tell me—"

"That true good friends take time and work to find?" Yes," Jimin says.

"No, that's not what I was gonna say," you giggle. "I was saying, are you trying to tell me that you don't trust me?"

Your friend laughs. "Oh c'mon, Y/N," he says. "Spare a man. Of course, I trust you."

"Good because I didn't just tell you my whole private life story for you to tell me that you don't trust me," you say, taking a sip of your unfizzy diet coke.

Jimin laughs again. "I trust you, okay? You're like a best friend to me," he says, as he stretches and gets up from his couch. "It's getting late and we need to pick up my other best friend from the airport nice and early tomorrow. We should get to sleep."

You beam at his words and stand up too. "Mhm."

"I'll show you up to my room," Jimin says as he gestures you over to the stairs of his house. That's when you realize, oh fuck, I'll be sleeping in my teacher's bed.

It's weird how sometimes Jimin can be your friend but your teacher at the same time.

"You can borrow one of my shirts to wear to sleep in you want," Jimin says as both of you walk into his rather spacious room. Your friend walks to his closet and pulls out a long, black t-shirt. He tosses it to you and you grab it instinctively.

"Thanks," you say. "Are you sure you don't want me to take the couch? It was comfy."

"Are you saying you don't want the bed?" Jimin asks sarcastically.

"I mean, no, a bed's nice but—"

"Are you saying we should share—"

You smack Jimin's back. "That was—"

"Not appropriate, I know, I know," Jimin interrupts you as he laughs. "You gotta learn to take a joke, though."

"Not if the joke is borderline sexual," you seethe. "Not if the listener is your student."

"Aw, c'mon Y/N, you're only my student in school," Jimin protests. "You're my friend outside of school."

You sigh. "Fine, then," you mutter as you start to push Jimin out of his room. "Get out, I'm gonna change."

"Okay, okay," Jimin laughs. "Goodnight, Miss Yoon."

"Goodbye, Jiminie," you tease as you shut the door on Jimin's laughing face.

You sigh as you snuggle up into Jimin's warm, velvety covers. They smelled like him: fresh, clean and masculine. You still can't seem to believe how amazing your friend is—he's almost too good to be true. Even after you spilled out your deepest secrets, he treats you just the same, he doesn't pity you, he doesn't think he's better than you in any way. It secures you so much to be around someone like Park Jimin.

You're so lucky to have him.

"Y/N!" you hear some high-pitched voice screaming in your ear.

"Shut up, I'm awake!" you scream back, ironically keeping your eyes closed as you turn over and smash the soft pillow over your head.

"You don't look awake," the voice teases. "C'mon, we have to go in a few minutes to get Jin or we'll be late!"

You groan as you slowly rise up, only to see your teacher sitting on your—his bed, staring right at you.

"Wait, fuck!" you shriek as you quickly pull up the covers to hide your body. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to come in unannounced into a lady's bedroom?"

Jimin cocks his head. "For your information, this is my bedroom," he chuckles.

"Oh my god, Jimin," you groan. "Get out! I'm not wearing anything under the shirt!"

Well, shit, Y/N. That was a bit too much information.

You can see your teacher's ears turn red as he quickly stands up. "Oh, right. I totally forgot... Sorry," he says hastily as he practically sprints out of the room.

You roll your eyes as you climb out of Jimin's bed, stretching. You had slept so well—maybe it was the sweet, masculine smell of the covers or the high-end quality of the bed. You hadn't known your teacher was so loaded.

Walking over to where you had neatly folded your clothes last night, you scrunch your nose, picking up your white t-shirt. "Pizza grease stains," you mutter. "I am a messy eater."

I guess it won't hurt to wear Jimin's t-shirt to the airport right? It just looks like a t-shirt dress anyway.

You quickly take your bra to the bathroom, putting in on, then washed your face and attempted to comb your hair with your fingers. By the time you're downstairs, Jimin is all dressed as well, most likely having taken his clothes out of his closet when you had been sleeping.

"I've never seen you wear a dress before," Jimin teases as you roll your eyes.

"I got grease stains on my other shirt," you reply. "I had no choice. It's okay if I borrow this for a day, right?"

Jimin laughs. "Yeah, no problem. You look good in it, anyway."

Flushing at his casual comment, you absentmindedly nod as you walk towards the front door. "Uh, we should go get Jin now," you say.

"Hold up, no breakfast?" Jimin asks as he holds an apple out for you.

"Oh, thanks," you say as you take the apple gratefully. "You're not eating?" you ask as both of you make your way out of the house and into Jimin's car.

"Well... my fridge isn't exactly stocked," your teacher says, placing his hands on the steering wheel. "I usually eat out all the time so that's the only thing I had in the fridge."

Again, Jimin is loaded.

"How do you even afford to eat out all the time?" you blurt out.

Jimin shrugs. "Parents."

"Ah, right," you say quickly.

You let your teacher drive to the airport in silence as you awkwardly try to eat the apple as quietly as you can. But remembering your manners after a few minutes, you offer an uneaten side of your apple to your teacher.

"I'd thought you'd never ask," Jimin chuckles as you hold the apple in front of him and he bites in.

"Oh, sorry," you say, flushing slightly at the proximity between your teacher's plump lips and your innocent hand. "Do you want the apple? I'm not that hungry anymore."

"Yes you are," Jimin scoffs. "Don't you lie, Y/N, Jin tells me about the huge breakfast you always eat before school. Breakfast is important for you."

"What does Jin not tell you?" you cry, throwing up your hands, careful not to fling the apple to the back of the car.

Jimin chuckles. "He tells me everything about you—it's obvious he cares for you a lot."

"Yeah..." you say. "Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough for him," you confess. "I mean, the only times I actually take care of him is when he gets drunk. Other than that, he's basically my mom."

"He's the perfect cousin," Jimin comments, smiling. "In a way, you're really lucky, Y/N."

You bite into the apple. "I am. I have Jin and you," you say, grinning.

"Aw, my heart," Jimin says, dramatically placing a small hand on his chest.

"Two hands on the wheel!" you shriek. "I want to live to see my cousin!"

Jimin just laughs, gripping the steering wheel with two hands as you had instructed. "Y/N, relax, we're almost there anyway."

"Hmph."

"So, how much do you want to bet Jin takes us out to eat when we meet him?"

"MY BABIES!" Jin screams as he runs towards you and Jimin, his suitcase flying behind him.

"God, how embarrassing," you mutter, catching the weird glances people were throwing your way.

"YOU GUYS SURVIVED!" Jin shrieks as he rams into you and your teacher, pulling both of you into a tight hug.

"Not for long if you keep hugging us like this," Jimin says, his voice strained as Jin squeezes all three of you together.

"Sorry, sorry," Jin apologizes as he loosens the hug. "I was just so happy to see you two... alive."

"What, you thought we were going to die?" you ask as you pull away from the hug, crossing your arms.

"No, I thought only you were going to die," Jin answers. "That's why I didn't let you alone. You've never really been on your own, you know?"

"He demanded I got your back 24/7," Jimin says. "Did I do a good job?"

"A bit too literally," you tease, rolling your eyes.

"He even took you shopping, huh?" Jin asks, eyeing your—er Jimin's t-shirt.

"What? No," you say, tugging the long, black top down. "It's not mine," you quickly say, lowering your head in sudden embarrassment.

Jin's eyebrows raise. "Well, then, looks like Y/N spent a night at your house, didn't she?" your cousin turns to ask your teacher.

Unlike your flushed self, Jimin looks rather calm. "Y/N spectacularly lost her house key yesterday so she slept over at my place."

"The shirt?" Jin questions. You flinch in your place, feeling guilty for no reason at all.

"Y/N's a messy eater, you know that. She got pizza grease on her shirt so she borrowed mine," Jimin explains. "Is your interrogation over, buddy?"

Jin's serious face is replaced with a goofy one. "Of course!" he laughs. "Agh, you two are too cute," Jin declares as he swings each arm around the both of you. "Now, I'm going to take you out to eat."

You shoot Jimin a knowing look and he laughs, eyes becoming beautiful crescent moons. You can't help but laugh too.

It's yet again another weekend you, Jin and Jimin are spending together. You're relaxed on your couch as Jin sits right next to you while Jimin is sprawled on the floor, scrolling through his phone.

"Y/N, Jimin," Jin says suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence. "So... as you know, my drama team is doing incredibly well these days. We, um... won state so we have to go to nationals."

"That's great!" you say as you jump up.

"Dang, Jin, congrats!" Jimin says as he starts to get up into a sitting position.

"Yeah, well... but that means I have to leave soon to get to nationals," Jin explains. "I'm sorry guys."

Your face falls slightly but you force a quick smile. "But you've always wanted your team to win these competitions!"

"Yeah but being apart from you guys makes me feel..."

"Empty?" you ask.

"Lonely?" Jimin inquires.

"Ugly," Jin says with a 'duh' tone.

You scoff. "Excuse me?"

"I dunno. Something about being with you guys makes me feel full, you know? Like I'm my best self. I feel perfect," Jin explains. "When I'm not with you two, I kinda feel... insecure? Ugly?"

"Aww, bro," Jimin says, standing up to sit next to Jin on the couch.

"We'll miss you," you say, resting your head on Jin's shoulder. "Can you do us one teensy favor though?" you plead.

"Anything for my two favorite people," Jin says as he softly kisses your forehead, making you smile.

"So, we almost burned down Jimin's house last time trying to cook ramen..." you start. You don't even get to finish because Jin is already hysterically laughing, the familiar windshield wiper laughter filling the commodious living room. Your cousin wipes a tear away from his eyes, calming himself down with a few deep breaths.

"You're telling me... neither of you read the directions to cook ramen?" Jin cries, chuckling.

"Well... I would've, but someone trashed them," you say, eyeing Jimin accusingly.

"Oh, c'mon, Y/N, don't blame me," Jimin whines, his lips pulling out into a full-blown pout.

You pretend not to be affected by the cuteness, rolling your eyes. "I didn't say it was you," you say. "I only implied."

"Same thing," Jimin mutters.

"And that is why you're a math teacher, not an English teacher," you reply.

Jin laughs. "Oh, you guys are so cute when you fight."

You and Jimin both shoot your cousin glares, making him raise his hands up in defense. "I was joking!" he exclaims. "You know what? Instead of just sitting around here and doing nothing, let's hang out productively."

"Productive? What's that?" you joke as you slump into your couch.

"I think I should teach you guys how to make ramen," Jin sighs.

"Oh, yes please," Jimin says. "I would like to keep my house from burning to the ground again."

"What do you mean, 'again' " you ask, rolling your eyes. "Last time I checked, we ran around like madmen opening all the goddamn windows to get the smoke out."

"Language, baby cousin," Jin chuckles. "You two really need to stop arguing if you don't want to look like a married couple."

Jimin pouts. "I totally would if Y/N would stop trying to one-up me with her arguments."

"I wouldn't have to one-up you if your arguments were solid," you spit back.

"Okay, okay!" Jin cries, throwing up his arms. "Let's just get up and cook before I have to hear you babies fight again!"

"I am not a baby!" you whine, annoyed. "I am not your goddamn baby cousin. I'm fucking 17 years old and I am so sick of you calling me a baby!" you burst. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much! I fucking swear if anyone calls me a little child again, I will... I will... uh, skin them alive!" you declare, hands fisting in sudden anger.

Jimin and Jin stare at you in shock.

"Y/N... honey, do you want to blow off some steam?" Jin asks softly as he steps slowly towards you.

"No!" you shout, then you rethink. "Yes," you say. Quickly scurrying away, you slam the door to your room shut.

"God, I've never seen her so worked up," Jimin says as soon as your presence is gone. "She actually looked like she wanted to skin us alive."

"Y/N gets moody at her time of the month." Jin shrugs as he walks toward the kitchen. "Believe it or not, that kind of behavior is normal."

"Oh, so she's not lying about her period this time?" Jimin chuckles. "She always uses it as some sort of excuse."

Jin laughs. "I've heard... but no, Y/N just lets out all the stress she gets from studying when she's on her period. I think it's a girl thing, I don't know. I just let her be."

Jimin nods. "I'll keep that in mind... So, I guess you'll just have to teach me how to make ramen."

Jin smiles. "Sure thing, bro."

You're on your bed, dying from the pain of cramps as you sort of regret the loud outburst you had in front of your teacher. You groan as you slam your face into the pillow. "Y/N, you are a stupid bitch," you tell yourself.

Sometimes, with the pain of cramps, you get embarrassingly moody and forget to control your temper. The pain should lessen though... you've just taken a painkiller. You sigh as you sit up from your bed, attempting to fix your loose sweats and messy hair. You're craving ice cream.

Almost like you're on some secret spy mission, you creak open your bedroom door and silently creep out into the kitchen. You're skillfully avoiding all of the floorboards that you know that will squeak, paying close attention to the ground.

"Ah, if it isn't but Y/N," Jimin says in his silky voice, making you jump. Your teacher smiles at you as he sets down a pot of hot ramen. "Are you hungry?"

You flush furiously, hoping he had forgotten your tantrum. "Kinda," you whisper, looking down at your feet as you make your way to the freezer.

"Mint chocolate ice cream?" Jin asks you as you nod, taking out your favorite tub. "Don't eat too much of it, Y/N. Do you want a heat pack?"

You nod, still red from humiliation as you face the two people you had just shouted at a while ago. Making your way to the couch, you sit down as Jin hands you a heat pack. "Thanks," you mutter as you start to eat huge spoonsful from your tub of ice cream.

Jimin carefully sits down next to you, almost looking at you fearfully, as if you'd bite him—which was pretty possible if you were on your period. He sets down the pot of ramen on the table in front of you as he looks expectantly at you. "I made ramen," he says, poking your cheek.

A giggle escapes your lips at your teacher's actions.

Okay, what the fuck, Y/N. Did you just... giggle?

But then again, anything is possible when you're on your goddamn period.

"And if I say so myself, this is the best ramen you'll probably ever eat, so eat up," your teacher says proudly.

Jin rolls his eyes. "95% of that ramen is my work," he mutters. "But I think Jimin is pretty solid to cook for you now."

You smile. What were you going to do without these two men in your life? They took your bitching, listened to your troubles and were still hell-bent on being by your side and making you feel better.

"I can't wait to try it," you laugh as you tug the pot of ramen closer to you. "Thanks, guys, I owe you."

—previous | next

—masterlist

[suckitsurveys]

Ready to answer 151 Questions? No.

1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? Last week. I am extremely grateful to have access to a pool this summer. It’s at my sister’s mother in law’s. She lets my sister and her daughters use it while she’s at work and I tag along too.  2. Do you like to party? I love throwing parties. Not like, huge drunk ragers, but bday parties are my specialty.  3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? I’ve been social distancing myself from them for almost 10 years, so. 4. Are you a virgin? Nope. 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? My dad likes Mark.

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? I am married to my crush.  7. Is your best friend dating anyone? One is. 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? It’s an olive green shirt with the Route 66 logo on it. 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? I really don’t care. 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? I do that 99.99% of the time. 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? On myself? My stomach. 12. Would people describe you as happy? Not currently.  13. Are you single? Nope. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? Nah. 15. Do you have Tumblr? I really only use it for this, which I also haven’t done in a while either.

16. What about Xanga? Aww, RIP Xanga. 17. Have you ever babysat before? Yes. 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? Most of my college professors.  19. Ever shopped at Sephora? I think I’ve been in one before? 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do? I mean, I’d be pretty shocked and hurt. 21. Do you have any university plans? Lol. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? Support her?  23. What are your views on sex? Be safe! Always get consent! 24. Do sexual questions bother you? No. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? Uh, what? 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding? Yeah. 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? Yeah, I don’t see too much of it anymore. 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? Yes. 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? I did that once oops. 30. What’s the last book you read? I’m still working on a couple. 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? Sure. 32. What is your last name? No. 33. What grade are you in? No. 34. What school do you go to? No. 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? Summer and early fall.  36. Favorite Color? Purples and blues. 37. Are your parents together? My father is widowed.  38. Any siblings? I have an older sister. 39. Favorite subject? Eh.

40. Least favorite subject? Eh. 41. Favorite song? I could never just choose one. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? I don’t care. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 200 something. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? Probably. 45. Have you ever googled yourself? Yeah. 46. Have a Formspring? No. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? Take them and sell them :P 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? Waterpark. Ughhhhhhhhh I miss waterparks so much. It’s so weird to not be going this summer. 49. Been to Disney world? Nope. 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? Sounds like one of those things where people post a random status from a list of things that will likely get people’s attention and whoever comments on it is privately sent said list of thing and they then choose something to post as their status and so on. That was a popular game thing on Facebook years ago. <---Yeah, that. 51. Ever had a boyfriend? Yes.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? I doubt Will Arnett knows I’m in love with him. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? No. 54. Ever drank alcohol? Yes. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? Yeah. 56. Ever watched The Hills? No. 57. What about Jersey Shore? Yes. 58. Ever called someone a slut? I’ve said that jokingly to friends. 59. What do you think of short shorts? You do you. 60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? Nope. 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? Yes. 62. What about a B? Yes. 63. And a C? Yes. 64. How about a D? Yeah. 65. Ever skived? What’s that? 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? I’d say somewhere in the middle. I had friends, but I wasn’t “popular” by any means. 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? Most are older.  68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? Yes. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? Oops. 70. Ever watched porn? Yes. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month? I drove with out a seat belt (for a few blocks) and jay walked oops.  72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? On work days, yes. 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? Wednesdays.  74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join? No. 75. Ever performed in a talent show? No. 76. Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? I’ve always had a special bond with my dad. I love my mom, but we butt heads a lot when I was a teenager. I feel like our bond was getting stronger just before she died and I’m really sad we don’t get to know each other as we got older.  78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nooo. I have zero talent. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? A lot. 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? A lot. 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. Will Arnett, Paul Rudd, John Mulaney, Andy Samberg, Ezra Koenig 82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. Aubrey Plaza, Alison Brie, Lana Del Rey, Alia Shawkat, Kat Dennings 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity? Ha, no. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? No. 85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? Idk what that is in US dollars but I don’t usually buy lip gloss, so. 86. Are you opinionated? I can be. 87. Do you have a favorite store? Sure. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? I used to in grade school. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? I have one pair of “boyfriend” jeans that I don’t really like.  90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? Hello, pandemic? 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? I don’t know. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? Yeah. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? I don’t care? 94. Own a pair of converse? Yes. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? There was. 96. If yes, are you one of them? Never. 97. Do you text in class? I have. 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? Target. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” Fuck that shit. “Plus” implies that there is a standard size. 100. Do you want to lose weight? I’d like to be healthier.  101. Ever seen a therapist? No, but I should. 102. Ever watched porn? You asked me this.  103. Ever purposely ignored a text? Yes. 104. A facebook message? Yes. 105. A poke? I always ignored those. That was a dumb feature Facebook had. 106. A friend request? Yeah. I don’t accept a request from anyone I don’t know, but I have it set up where you can’t add me unless you are friends with someone I am friends with.  107. Would you say you read into things too much? Yepppp. 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? I don’t know. 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) Eh. 110. Ever been called a bully? No. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? Yes. 112. Ever gone to church? I went to a Lutheran high school and we used to have “chapel” every first full school day of the week (usually mondays). That was kind of a church service. And one time I spent the night at a friends house on a Saturday and was blindsided the next morning when her parents were like “okay time for church!” 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? Absolutely not! 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? Yes and no. 115. What do you want to do with your life? Lol.

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? My roots right now are basically a really dirty blonde. And my tips were black but they are pretty brown right now. And hair inbetween is mint green lol. Pandemic hair ftw. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? I’ll probably be Princess Carolyn again. Or just a bat, since I have both of those costumes.  118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? With my nieces, but we probably won’t be able to go this year :(  119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? Celebrities. 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus? Yes. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? I have. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? Yeah. 123. What’s the last movie you watched? Oh god, it’s been a while. I Love You Man, I think? 124. Last TV Show? Property Brothers, lol.  125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? They wouldn’t.  126. Ever been called a whore? Jokingly. 127. Are you american? Yes. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? Yeah. 129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend? Uh huh. 130. Are you Cute or Gross? Yes. 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? No one has said that to me in a very long time. I don’t recall being bothered by it, though. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like? Um, yes? Why couldn’t I? 133. Ever had the lead in a play? Not the lead, no. 134. What about a solo in a concert? Nope. 135. What kind of a student are you? I did okay in grade and high school. 136. Worst subject? All of college. 137. Best subject? Not college. 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? Yeah. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? Seeing as she’s dead, yeah, a little. 140. How late do you sleep in? On work days I sleep until the absolutely last minute, right before we are supposed to check in for a daily meeting at 7:10am, lol. And on weekends or days off I normally don’t sleep past 10.   141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? A little. I brighten up my face and smooth it out. Sue me.  142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? All my friends are beautiful in their own ways.  143. Do you believe in love? Yes.  144. Would you consider yourself a good student? Didn’t you ask this? 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” It just seems kinda pointless cause they likely won’t see it. 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy? Yes.  147. Are you going into High School this year? Nooooo. Thank goodness. I did my time and graduated over 10 years ago. 148. What about Junior High? Omg, no. I’m old. 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? Ugh, anything.  150. Where did you find this note? @lovemesomesurveys 151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? None. 

[eldritchsurveys]

804.

1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? >> The last time I was in a pool was probably over 5 years ago, at Easton Mountain. I’m not fond of the way pool water smells. 2. Do you like to party? >> I like gatherings, and get-togethers, and barbecues, and casual social events at someone’s house with food and booze and games. I don’t really care for anything more hectic than that. 3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? >> --- 4. Are you a virgin? >> No. 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? >> There could never be a relationship that my father would have approved of.

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? >> --- 7. Is your best friend dating anyone? >> --- 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? >> It’s black and has the design from the Endless Night Vampire Ball of 2019 on it. 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? >> Why would that bother me? 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? >> Of course, I do it all the time. 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? >> --- 12. Would people describe you as happy? >> I don’t know how people would describe me. It’s not like I make a habit of asking, and most people don’t make a habit of volunteering that information out of the blue. 13. Are you single? >> No. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? >> Eh, whatever. For some reason, romantic relationships are of the most pressing importance to a lot of people, and I’ve gotten used to it. 15. Do you have Tumblr? >> Heh. Wouldn’t you like to know.

16. What about Xanga? >> Damn.... RIP. 17. Have you ever babysat before? >> Nope. 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? >> Well, no, I’m not even in school. 19. Ever shopped at Sephora? >> Yeah, many times. 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do? >> The thing about having a spouse whomst you live with is that this kind of thing is way less likely to happen. 21. Do you have any university plans? >> No. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? >> --- 23. What are your views on sex? >> I don’t have “views” on sex. That’s such a broad question, lmao... 24. Do sexual questions bother you? >> Nah. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? >> Wh.................. 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding? >> Nah, I was never much into the idea of having a wedding. And then I had one, so you know. Life is like that. 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? >> I haven’t seen anyone type like that in almost a decade. The world has moved on. 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? >> --- 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? >> This is one of those situations that I just can’t at all imagine myself navigating. 30. What’s the last book you read? >> The last book I finished was The King in Yellow. That’s going to be my answer for a while, because the book I’m (re-)reading right now is fucking long. 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? >> Nope. 32. What is your last name? >> Hmm. 33. What grade are you in? >> I’m not in a grade. 34. What school do you go to? >> --- 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? >> Spring. 36. Favorite Color? >> Gold. 37. Are your parents together? >> No. 38. Any siblings? >> Not worth mention. 39. Favorite subject? >> I don’t have a favourite subject.

40. Least favorite subject? >> Or a least favourite subject. 41. Favorite song? >> People who can choose one favourite song are cryptids. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? >> Hopefully I can stop giving such simple answers, too. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? >> Thirteen. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? >> Nope. 45. Have you ever googled yourself? >> Yeah. It’d be a lot harder to google myself now, because I have a fictional character’s name. 46. Have a Formspring? >> Well, no, considering that site is defunct. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? >> Tell whoever it is to give the tickets to someone else? I’m completely uninterested in Justin Bieber. 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? >> Amusement park, if I must. 49. Been to Disney world? >> No. 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? >> No. 51. Ever had a boyfriend? >> Yes.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? >> I don’t know, maybe. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? >> No. 54. Ever drank alcohol? >> Certainly. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? >> Sure. 56. Ever watched The Hills? >> No. 57. What about Jersey Shore? >> No. 58. Ever called someone a slut? >> Not seriously. I’ve said it in a joking way to friends who appreciate that sort of banter. 59. What do you think of short shorts? >> I don’t want to wear them. 60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? >> Of course not. 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? >> Yes. 62. What about a B? >> Argh..... yes to all. NEXT 63. And a C? 64. How about a D? 65. Ever skived? >> I don’t know what that is. 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? >> These dynamics don’t really apply to adult life... well, not in my experience. Maybe if I had a more structured social life? 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? >> --- 68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? >> Nah. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? >> I don’t make any judgements about it. 70. Ever watched porn? >> Yep. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month? >> I don’t think I’ve broken any, considering I barely even go outside except to take walks. 72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? >> No. 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? >> All days of the week are pretty much interchangeable to me. 74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join? >> --- 75. Ever performed in a talent show? >> Probably. I don’t remember. 76. Have you ever cried in public? >> Yeah. I used to be homeless in a metropolis, privacy wasn’t something I had access to. Guess that might be part of why I’m so big on it now. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? >> --- 78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? >> Fuck no. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? >> *shrug* 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? >> *shrug* 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. >> Matthew McConaughey, Peter Mensah, Jeremy Irons, Denzel Washington, Oscar Isaac. 82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. >> Sandra Oh, Aisha Hinds, Normani Kordei, Gillian Anderson, Helen Mirren. 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity? >> Yeah, a couple of times. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? >> I only have one photo of myself on facebook. 85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? >> It’s not a waste of money for whoever buys it. That person just wouldn’t be me, I have no interest in lip gloss. 86. Are you opinionated? >> Not especially. 87. Do you have a favorite store? >> Nope. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? >> I did when I was younger, but I doubt I’d be into them now. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? >> No. I can’t really fit into any jeans that aren’t stretchy (and the stretchy ones are usually skinny jeans). 90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? >> Many times. 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? >> A couple of months, when I was in the psych ward. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? >> Yeah. I google almost anything I don’t understand, unless I just have zero interest in understanding. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? >> Why... would that bother me... 94. Own a pair of converse? >> Nope. I can’t wear any shoe without arch support. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? >> --- 96. If yes, are you one of them? >> --- 97. Do you text in class? >> --- 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? >> The only pairs of jeans I have are from Old Navy. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” >> I don’t know what sizes are plus-sized and I’m not interested in finding out right now. 100. Do you want to lose weight? >> Yes. 101. Ever seen a therapist? >> Yes. 102. Ever watched porn? >> This is a repeat question and I would delete it if the questions weren’t numbered. 103. Ever purposely ignored a text? >> Yeah. 104. A facebook message? >> Yeah. 105. A poke? >> God, when did they finally get rid of those? I haven’t heard about pokes in years. 106. A friend request? >> Yeah. 107. Would you say you read into things too much? >> I don’t know if I read into things too much or not. 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? >> --- 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) >> No. 110. Ever been called a bully? >> No. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? >> Many times. 112. Ever gone to church? >> Many times. I think I’ve gotten the gist of it by now. 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? >> One of them was certainly a screw-up in caring for their child... 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? >> Absolutely not, considering that’s the parent I was talking about in the previous question. 115. What do you want to do with your life? >> I don’t have any specific goals for my life. I’m pretty content just living it.

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? >> Yeah. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? >> I don’t know if I’m ever going to get to dress up for Halloween. We’ll see. 118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? >> I’ve never been and I am way too old for it now. 119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? >> Like 80% of the celebrities I named in those two questions about attractive celebrities are way older than me. 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus? >> Only when I don’t have my headphones with me, which is... just about never. I know I have sensory issues, so I come prepared. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? >> Fuck no. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? >> Yeah. 123. What’s the last movie you watched? >> The Lovebirds. 124. Last TV Show? >> Patriot Act. 125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? >> I can’t imagine this being bothersome to me. Or even significant, honestly. 126. Ever been called a whore? >> No. 127. Are you american? >> Yeah. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? >> Yeah. 129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend? >> Yeah. 130. Are you Cute or Gross? >> What...??? 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? >> It would bother me if that was a situation I’d ever find myself in. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like? >> --- 133. Ever had the lead in a play? >> Nope. 134. What about a solo in a concert? >> Nope. 135. What kind of a student are you? >> I’m not a student. 136. Worst subject? >> --- 137. Best subject? >> --- 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? >> Something like that. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? >> --- 140. How late do you sleep in? >> 9a seems to be my limit. 141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? >> --- 142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? >> This is so fucking rude. 143. Do you believe in love? >> Yawn. 144. Would you consider yourself a good student? >> --- 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” >> Not really, I usually just delete that question because, like... the survey-maker is definitely not going to see it, so what’s the point. 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy? >> Salty + sweet, spicy + sweet, spicy + salty, or any of them alone except for sweet. 147. Are you going into High School this year? >> Fuck no lmao 148. What about Junior High? >> Double fuck no lmao 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? >> I don’t know, man. That’s usually contextual, anyway. 150. Where did you find this note? >> I got this survey from another survey-taker on tumblr. 151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? >> Zero.

[dangerouslychocolateobservation]

Robot Chicken~South Park Parody idea 1.

Death Note.... But different....

Kenny, sick of his friends constantly watching him die and not knowing what that's possibly like....

After waking up after another grusome death.... Kenny stumbles upon Death Note....

The rules are....

1. you can kill anything and anyone in any grusome U can imagine....

2. U can bring them back by writting there names backwards... Giving them immortality...

What would it be like living the life of Kenny?..... This time.. It's Kenny turn to due the death cards...

(Remember this is what it would be like in a robot chicken parody... So please don't panic about our precious boy Kenny...)

Kenny make's all the victim's who have killed him in the past pay.... Writing them the same death Kenny received....

Kenny did experiment though... lol

Next... Kenny starts writting his friend's and Cartman's name down on Death Note...

He puts Stan, Kyle, Cartman in a real bloodbath.... Kenny enjoyed watching them go thru the same grusome shit ....

Decapitated by a flying razor, torn in half, exploded, rip to shreds, eaten by god knows what.... Kenny just couldn't stop...

Nobody remembers the boys death's the next day.... Kenny loved it.....

He did think that maybe he was being to harsh on the guys.... Nah... Screw those guys.. Kenny never did like those assholes anyway..

After a month with Death Note, Kenny starts to think that maybe he should try to cleanse the world of evil.....

Or... Share it with another outcast of life... Butters who is always getting bad shit just like Kenny....

In Rule 3. U can share with a close partner or friend) As long as U both don't ever write each other's names down out of betrayal or sucide...

Kenny shows Butters the rules of Death Note...

Butters enjoys writting Cartman's name multiple times on Death Note and taking care of his family issues....

Kenny and Butters both think they should expand... Which becomes wide-spread...

minorities get close to there little death-spree... More blood had to be drawn...

It becomes too much for Butters and Kenny.... How did they not see this coming...

To end all this... They had to put one more name into Death Note...

South Park

................

And that is the day when SP fans died....

(End titles)

[singulari-taee]

The Danger in Duality  | 01

COLLEGE! AU  |  ASSASSIN! AU  |  ANGST  | SMUT  | COMEDY | 4k

BTS X Reader

“You and your seven squad members must take on the struggles of being world-class assassins while also living as full-time college students.”

Burning debris fell from the night sky like confetti, smoke clouds reaching for the heavens. The once abandoned warehouse was now a crumpled mess, disintegrating in a fiery blaze as the only car on the road careened away from the hellish scene.

“Did you see that shit?!”

“That was so cool!”

“_______, that spin-kick you did was incredible– landed so solid on the bastard’s neck even I felt it!”

“Jungkook that last kill-shot was perfect, you came right on time I thought I was dead for a second.”

“Okay, Yoongi, I have to give you props, man. Those two neck snaps you did before we left were beautiful, you have to show me how to do that again…but practice on someone else next time, please?”

“Everybody let’s give it up for Seokjin for setting off that last bomb.  Bro, you should have seen their faces when the timer started going off without anybody touching it. They didn’t know we had a genius hacker working on the outside,” Namjoon said as he shook Seokjin’s shoulders proudly. The older boy was driving, and the car erupted in wild applause as he beamed.

“What can I say? I’m just really good at my job,” he said, smug, “But my systems picked up two bombs in the building, so I’m wondering where the other–”

Suddenly, the entire sky was orange, the flames spreading wildly as the deafening sound shook the road beneath them. The SUV jumped and swerved out of the lines, the interior colored with the light of the 2nd explosion that night.

“There it is.”

“That never gets old,” Jimin said smiling as he looked back at the damage.

“That’s gonna make the news for sure,” you sighed, “So much for keeping a low profile.”

“Any trace that we were even there is up in flames now, so we should be safe,” said Namjoon.

By just looking at you and the car of rowdy, smiling boys, no one would have guessed you were all a squad of thoroughly trained assassins. It wasn’t a normal job per say, not one that you could exactly put on your resume or brag about, since telling people you took human lives for a living wasn’t absolutely the best conversation starter.

The eight of you all grew up together, troubled youth that had been taken in under your own unique circumstances. Honestly, screw-ups like you didn’t deserve another chance–should have been kicked to the curb and outcasted like all the others. Most of you had pretty much accepted that fate; it’s just how it was supposed to be. But for some reason, you were all special. Special, with enough potential for the academy to take notice of. And just special enough for them to take the time to breed screw-ups like you to become the best killers the world had to offer.   

Your squad code was “Make it clean. Make it quick”, or in other words, don’t be overly messy or draw unnecessary attention to yourselves. You all had one objective: Hit your target and get the hell out. Something the academy promised was that you would only be killing people that deserved it, scums of the earth that had too many chances to right their wrongs and got away unpunished every time.

You all liked to think of it as “taking out the trash”.

Though there was one thing that sometimes got in the way of the job…

“FUCK!” Jungkook suddenly screamed.

“Hey, watch your mouth!” Seokjin called from the driver’s seat.

“The hell’s wrong with you?” Yoongi asked, putting his gun back in it’s case.

Jungkook slammed his fist against the armrest. There was an audible crack, and the leather tore down the middle just the slightest bit, “I forgot to study for my chem exam tomorrow!”

College. 

“I swear to God if you break my car Jungkook I’ll pull over and break your nose. You may be the best shooter in the northern hemisphere but you’re not too good to catch an elbow to the face!” Seokjin exploded.

“Yeah, who do you think you are, Hercules? Relax,” said Hoseok.

“Sorry,” Jungkook muttered, embarrassed. It was an understatement to say that Jungkook had anger issues, and being the strongest in the squad didn’t help that at all.

“I just tutored you two days ago and marked it on your calendar, how’d you forget?” Namjoon asked.

“I was too busy preparing for this mission!”

“Maybe if you spent less time in the gym and more time on your studies you wouldn’t have this problem,” Seokjin said.

“Oh no! I had an essay due at midnight that I never got to write!” Taehyung gasped, holding his face in his hands.

“Tae, you keep missing assignments. I seriously wonder how you’re not on academic probation yet,” Jimin laughed.

“The academy can only bail you guys out so many times. You’ll get a wake up call when they stop paying that tuition,” you snorted.

The eight of you came to the conclusion at the end of your training years that killing wasn’t the life you all wanted to live forever. Sure, the pay was great, and so were all of the perks, but it just wasn’t enough. After talking it over and weighing all your options, you decided that you wanted to go to school like other young adults your age, get a degree and maybe live normally once the time was right– finally be somebody for once. Sure, you could retire early from all the money you earned doing what you did, but it didn’t feel complete. After much convincing your boss that it wouldn’t get in the way of work, he found the vision amicable. Soon the academy enrolled you into university, agreeing to pay for your education and housing. The only thing you all needed to do in return was complete your missions.

It was a good deal honestly.

“Seokjin, can you hack the school system for me to make it seem like I turned it in on time? I can write it when we get home and send it to you! The professor probably won’t even check for another two days!” Taehyung asked, grabbing Seokjin’s headrest as he pleaded.

“I did that three weeks ago and you still got a D, so no! I’m not wasting my expertise so you can be below average. Now put your seat belt on!”

Seokjin was the group hacker and getaway driver. He was recruited by the academy at the tender age of 13, after being in and out of youth prisons for breaking into government sites and downloading confidential information for the hell of it. He rarely went inside during missions, opting to be everyone’s eyes on the outside by parking in some dark discreet corner and telling what he saw. His pride and joys were his SUV and computer–the only weapon he needed. From the front seat alone he could break into security cameras, shut off the electricity for miles around, and detonate bombs in terrorist hideouts like he had done minutes before. Even without a gun he was just as dangerous.

“Please! I promise I won’t ask again!” Taehyung begged, giving the cutest expression he could muster. Seokjin looked at the boy from his rearview mirror and sighed.

“Have it in my inbox by 10am…no exceptions,” he rolled his eyes.

“Thank you so much!” he said, hugging him around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek.

The whole van swerved again, and everyone screamed at Taehyung to stop.

“Not the face! Not the face!” Jin said, pushing him off.

Their scenery began to look familiar, and miles later they were nearing campus.

“Alright Jungkook and Tae we’re getting close to your dorm so be ready to get out,” he warned.

The two of them checked to be sure their weapons were secure in their bags as they approached their building, a quaint dorm that looked like it hadn’t been renovated since the day it had been built.

“Tae, remember, 10 am! And if you get anything below a C say goodbye to your ride for the next week,” Jin warned before the boy could leave.

“I’ve got it, mom, don’t worry,” he said, “Love you, guys!”

“Good work tonight everyone, see you tomorrow,” Jungkook said as he hopped out behind him, slamming the door way harder than necessary.

“I’m going to kill that kid one day, I promise,” Seokjin said as he gripped the wheel, watching the two youngest run to their building, “Tae too.”

“Nah, wait until after our next mission at least. We might need them.” you said.

The two stood in front of their door, looking in their jacket pockets and bags desperately. They seemed to be arguing as they pointed at the card scanner.

“Did they both forget their IDs to get into their dorm again?” Jimin asked, looking through the window.

“Isn’t that the 2nd time this month?” Hoseok asked.

“Yup.”

“Dumbasses,” Yoongi scoffed.

“Should we…help them get in?” you asked.

“Hell no, they’ll figure it out. I’m tired and my bed is calling me. Drive, Jin.”

“Fine by me,” the oldest said, stepping on the gas and ignoring the boys as they attempted to run after the car.

“I don’t know how they survive living together. I was sure one of them would have at least tried to suffocate the other in their sleep by now,” you thought aloud.

“Beats me,” Seokjin said, “Hey, Jimin, here’s your stop.”

They pulled up in front of a mansion-like brick house. There were greek letters painted on a banister that hung from the roof, the material flowing proudly on the quiet street. Though, if you came back at this time of night on any given weekend, it was a totally different scene.

“Alright see you later, guys,” Jimin said as he collected  his things. His hand went to your thigh, grabbing it for “balance” as he tried to make his way past you to the exit, “and you too, sexy,” he winked.

You flipped him off as he closed the door.

Jimin’s flirtatious ways towards you was nothing new, but it still got under your skin every time just because of how good he was at it–though that was not something you would ever admit to him, even on your deathbed.

“If I ever decided to cut his dick off one day, would any of you stop me?” you asked, watching the teasing boy enter the frat house as you drove further down the road.

“No he kind of deserves it sometimes,” Hoseok shrugged, “I’m sure he’d still like it though just because you would have to touch him.”

Moments later you were at the end of the street and at your apartment complex. It was eerie and dark, since there were only a few lights on to illuminate the halls and parking lot. But how inviting are college apartment buildings usually at 4am?

“Second to last stop, see you later, ________,” Seokjin said.

“Later,” you said as you waved back at the four boys.

Instead of driving off like he had with all of the others, Seokjin stayed parked in front of the building. You had insisted that you were okay to be left alone, since they all knew you could hold your own, but they protested every time you brought it up. They always stayed put until you walked through your door. Namjoon’s logic was, “You never know who could come and snatch you when we leave. How am I supposed to explain that to the academy?”

He, Yoongi, Seokjin, and Hoseok were all roommates at the neighboring apartment complex. Since they were the four oldest, it was only fair that they claimed the nicest living quarters on campus. Though you found yourself spending more time there than your own  recently, not that they minded much (besides Yoongi, who would not so subtly say “Don’t you have your own place and roommate you can annoy?”)

You headed over to a wall of bushes in front of your building. Reaching inside the thick leaves, you pulled out the backpack that you had hidden deep within. You unhooked your guns and knives from the waistband of your pants before putting them in, pulling out a hoodie you always wore around. You shook out your tight bun and let your hair fall loose on your shoulders. Making your way over to your door, you looked yourself over one good time, just checking to see if you looked ‘tired college student’ enough. You flung the bag onto your back as you headed in.

You noticed there were lights on, but you didn’t think much of it until a chipper voice broke the silence.

“Hey!”

You reeled back and almost reached for your gun when you turned to see your petite roommate standing by the sink in the kitchen.

“Oh, God!” you breathed, holding your chest as you tried to slow your heartbeat, “Hey, Luna.”

“Sorry! Did I scare you?” she laughed.

Yeah you scared me, you almost got a bullet to the forehead, you thought.

“Just a little,” you smiled awkwardly, “What are you still doing up…at 4am?”

“Just washing dishes, I couldn’t go to sleep until the kitchen was clean, you know me,” she said, “What about you? Late night at the library?” Luna asked, taking in your appearance.

You stretched and yawned for effect, “Yeah, studying with the boys for that history quiz tomorrow, we stayed out longer than expected.”

“Wow you’re so disciplined! You guys are always in the library so late, I know your GPAs have to be amazing.”

You locked the door behind you, and noticed the SUV’s headlights shine through your living room window as they drove away. You stood there for a minute, unsure of where else to take the conversation as Luna continued to wash the dishes.

“Well…I’m going to go to bed now, goodnight,” you said, walking to your room.

“Goodnight! Good luck on your quiz!” she called.

Don’t misunderstand, Luna was an incredibly sweet girl, but at times she was a little…overbearing. She would always ask where you were going or where you had been all night, to which you couldn’t exactly respond with “I just finished ripping a man’s throat out with my bare hands” or “Stop being so damn nosey” without things getting awkward. You didn’t have the chance to interact with normal kids your age growing up in the academy as most of them were adolescents with lengthy records, so sharing a space with her was your first time dealing with a civilian you weren’t killing. Maybe it was normal for people to wash dishes for fun at 4 o’clock in the morning, maybe you were the strange one.

You unpacked your bag and washed off the blood from your kukri in your bathroom sink. If someone had to ask how many souls you had claimed with this knife alone, you would say three dozen, maybe four? The numbers were somewhere in Seokjin’s database, you would have to check one day.  

You hid the knife along with 2 others in your bedroom, 1 in your bathroom, and 2 in your living room and kitchen, including a harpoon from a mission in Cambodia none of you talk about anymore. You liked to have all of your bases covered just in case. Ducking down, you strapped the kukri under your mattress and stuffed one of your many guns in a case in the back of your closet. All of your other weapons were kept in the four boys’ apartment down the street, being the safest place since they didn’t have any random roommates or RA’s to check their space.

Stripping out of your clothes, you dropped the layers that reeked of death and destruction onto the bathroom floor. You let the shower cover you, the way the water enveloped your skin comforting. It was a ritual of sorts, taking a hot shower after every mission with your favorite song playing in the background. It may have seemed silly to some, but it felt like you were washing away your unspeakable sins for the night.

_____________________

A sea full of students shuffled out of the building when 3 o’clock hit.

You were among them, brushing past the crowd of hormonal young adults as you walked to your destination. You didn’t get much sleep last night since your first class was at 8am, but you were used to running on only naps and coffee by now.

As you approached the fountain on the edge of the quad, you could see seven boys standing deep in conversation.

“But how could you just leave us like that?! We were stranded outside for hours until someone came and opened the door!” Jungkook yelled.

“Yeah and I had to write my essay on the lawn!” Taehyung said, crossing his arms as he pouted.

“Why didn’t you just climb the building to get to your room? You’re only on the 3rd floor,” asked Namjoon.

“Because Taehyung locked the window before we left and I didn’t have my glass cutter with me,” Jungkook replied.

“Not my problem,” Seokjin sang, “Oh here she is,” he said when you came into view.

“Finally, been waiting long enough,” Yoongi muttered.

“Oh shut up, like you have anything better to do,” you rolled your eyes, “How were classes?”

“Okay, got an A+ on my honors philosophy essay,” Namjoon said casually as you all walked.

“Wow only an A+? Not an A++ with three gold stars? I’m disappointed, I expected more from the boy genius,” Yoongi said sarcastically, making everyone hold in their snickers.

Namjoon was the squad leader and resident smart guy with an IQ to back it up. He was probably the only one that actually would have made it to college without the academy.  

“Damn, Y/N, have you been doing squats?” Jimin asked. You turned to see him walking behind you, eyes glued to your ass in your leggings, “I knew your body was banging but goodness–”

You stopped in your tracks and back kicked him, making him walk into your foot as it landed square in his gut, “Quit being a perv.”

“–OW!! Feisty, I like it,” he groaned.

“Do you think we’re gonna have to miss class again for our next mission, Joon? I don’t know how many more times I can tell my professors I have a lacrosse game when I’ve never played a day in my life,” Hoseok mused.

While they tried to miss as few classes as possible, sometimes there was no way of avoiding it. They would come up with every excuse in the book, sports events, deaths in the family, illnesses, anything but the truth. The academy would forge notes for professors and usually it would be the end of it, but some needed a lot more convincing.

“I hope not. I only have one more absence left for most of my classes,” Namjoon answered.

“All of my past and future absences are excused now so I’m fine. I handled that situation all by myself, fair and square,” Jimin said proudly.

“‘Fair and square’ my ass, you slept with the Dean of Studies!” Hoseok erupted in disbelief.

Jimin shrugged, “Gotta do what I gotta do.”

“She’s married with two kids!”

“And? She’s hot too, it was worth it,” he moved to stand next to you, putting an arm around your shoulders, “You know you’re always number one in my heart, though, right? Just say the word and I’m all yours.”

Jimin was a professional flirt, charm and seduction his primary weapons of choice. Before the academy, he used to be a part of his city’s biggest street gang, terrorizing youths and anyone else that got in their way. He learned how to lure his targets, wooing girls and boys to get their trust before taking what he wanted. It wasn’t much different than what he did now, except he killed his victims after and got paid for it.

He was approached by academy representatives after one of his many stints at a youth correctional facility. He declined the first two offers, but after the third, and a promise for a better life, he left his gang and joined, going off the map forever.

Even once he was in the academy, things didn’t change much. The girls there were like sitting ducks, and he was in a buffet, taking his pickings as he pleased. While Jimin was used to having every girl he wanted at his fingertips, you were the first to ever tell him no. Now he made it his goal to annoy the hell out of you with sexual innuendos and his promise to “show you a good time”. Relationships between squad members were prohibited, but that didn’t stop Jimin from acting this way. He claimed it was all in fun, but you all knew that if you finally decided to give in to his advances he wouldn’t hesitate to jump at the opportunity.

Though, you had hooked up with one of the boys once during your training years in the academy. A secret none of the others knew about and a truth neither of you two ever spoke of again. Just the thought of Jimin’s face after finding out you had been with someone in the group other than him was almost worth telling the rest.

You neared a fork in the road, and you pushed Jimin’s hand off and began to walk away from the boys.

“Hey! Where are you going?” he asked.

“The gym. Why, you want to come?”

“No we’re going to the caf,” replied Hoseok.

“Well given how you got tackled by that 90 pound woman last night, maybe you should join me,” you said, making everyone burst out laughing.

“I was distracted!” Hoseok claimed.

“Whatever you say, I’ll catch you guys later,” you said as you turned to leave.

“Don’t forget!” Namjoon warned, “We have to do mission review and get our new assignment tonight at our place so don’t be late.”

          You said your goodbyes as you made your way down the sidewalk and into the building. It was a high tech space with all of the newest equipment, three floors with a rock climbing wall and sauna to boot. You hadn’t been in a facility this nice since you left the academy. All of your tuition probably went into building it, but it was easily your favorite place on campus.

After climbing the stairs, you put in your earbuds as you started your time with the straight bar, curling the weight to the beat of the music. You were just getting into your groove when you felt eyes boring into you. Suddenly the neighboring space was occupied. There stood a boy with a baseball cap and a shirt that was too small. Tattoos covered one of his heavily muscled arms, and he leaned on the equipment as he looked you over.

You rolled your eyes.

Not this again.

Every time you came to the gym he would make an appearance, and it didn’t take long before he would approach you. He was one of Jimin’s asshole frat brothers, and just like him he didn’t give up easily.

Any second now he would start talking–

“Hey beautiful,” he said, beginning his normal spiel, “Need me to spot you?”

You ignored him, continuing your set.

“Ah, not much of a talker today I see. It’s cool, I’ll wait.”

He stayed like that for a minute, checking you out as you lifted the weights. After a while it became too much, and you wrapped up early and walked away.

“_______, wait up,” he said as he followed. He grabbed your arm and you turned around, looking between his hand and his face with raised eyebrows. He was clearly unaware of the damage you could do to that hand if you really wanted to, “Can I get your number now?”

You scoffed, “I already told you no the other ten times you asked, what makes you think I’d say yes now, Haneul?”

“Because of my rugged good looks?” he said with a smirk.

“Why don’t you stop skipping leg day and leave me the hell alone, alright?” you snatched your arm back and walked away.

Haneul would be lying if he said that didn’t sting, “That’s cool! I can always get it from Jimin. See you later, beautiful!”

You went into the nearest locker room and called the boy in question. He picked up on the first ring.

“What’s up, baby? Calling to finally take me up on that offer? You know I can give you the workout you need,” Jimin said suggestively as he ate. You could clearly hear Hoseok screaming in the background, or maybe he was laughing, it was always hard to tell.

“If you give my number to your meathead frat brother I’m going to kill you.”

“First of all, I’m pretty sure murdering me would be against squad code. And second…which one?”

“Haneul!” you whispered, trying to keep it down as people came in and out.

“Oh, him? He’s harmless,” Jimin insisted. He paused, seconds later breaking into laughter, “I literally just got a text from him asking for it.”

“Don’t.”

“What’s in it for me?” he asked.

“Being able to live.”

“You’re so mean to me sometimes, you know that?” he said, “But fine, I’ve got you.”

“Thanks,” you sighed, “Are all frat boys this thirsty?” 

You could hear the shrug in his voice, “It’s just the culture.”

You hung up, leaning against the lockers in exasperation. Moments like these made you wonder how you even tolerated these boys.

Preview Next

[flourhurricane]

Love, Sexuality, and Relationship Headcanons: Farah Karim (OC)

Oh God, why did I think this was a good idea? *lol* No, I really loved these questions and wanted to answer them for Farah. The original post is right here, in case anyone’s interested in it.

------

💓 When did they have their first crush?

Farah was 10 or 11 when she had her first crush... on Nikola Tesla. She knew he was dead but that didn’t stop her from finding him extremely intelligent and “kind of cute.” 

❤ Have they ever been in love?

Yes. 

💕 How easily do they fall in love?

Farah’s a logical thinker. Her high IQ helps and hinders her when it comes to relationships. She knows and understands the differences between sexual attraction, infatuation, and actual love. That makes her try and rationalize her feelings. She’s had crushes, but being in love? It’s not a common occurrence.

💖 How do they say ‘I love you’ without really saying it? 

Farah likes fixing / making things for Deacon. She’ll repair his rifle, upgrade the scope. She’ll sew the holes in his backpack. She’ll fix his sunglasses when a screw loosens and a lens pops out. When he moves in with her, she builds a ceiling to floor bookcase for his books. And while she’s a horrible cook, she can boil water and make Blamco mac ‘n’ cheese, his favorite comfort food.

😕 Have they ever said ‘I love you’ without meaning it?

No. Always, in that moment, she has meant those words.

👀 Would they ever enter/have they ever entered into a friends with benefits relationship?

No. Farah can’t do casual sex. She needs to be in a serious relationship with someone.

💋 How old were they when they had their first kiss?

Farah was 15 years old and her first kiss was with her first boyfriend.

🚗 When did they go on their first date?

Again, 15. There aren’t many places to go on a date when living in the Institute, but the school did a good job sponsoring various activities for the students. Farah and her boyfriend went to a junior high dance. It wasn’t Farah’s idea of a fun date, but it was the first time anyone had asked her out.

🌹 What is their idea of a perfect date? 

When she lived in the Institute, Farah enjoyed going to lectures and spending time in the terrarium. (Come on, there HAD to be a terrarium with extinct flora inside.) Now that she lives in the Commonwealth, Farah’s ideal date is a quiet dinner with Deacon, where he feels safe and they can talk about anything.

🔑 At what point would they move in with a partner?

Again, Farah needs to be in a serious relationship with someone. If they’re not at least engaged, then there needs to be an understanding that moving in should ultimately lead to marriage. 

💟 What is their stance on PDA?

She’s cool with the basics. Kissing, holding hands, an arm around her waist or her shoulders. But it doesn’t happen much since Deacon is highly paranoid. (He relaxes some once they’re engaged / living together.)

🍵 Do they prefer to ask out a partner or be asked?

Farah doesn’t mind if someone asks her out, but she likes being the one who does the asking. Which is good because she had to ask Deacon out first.

👥 What is my muse’s sexual & romantic orientation? 

Farah is a cisgender female who is bisexual / biromantic.  

💦 When did they lose their virginity?

Farah was 21 years old when she lost her virginity. Her girlfriend at the time was a fellow grad student who was 5-6 years older, and it probably happened a few days before or after graduation.

⁉ Have they ever questioned their sexuality?

Not really. One nice thing about the Institute is their understanding that gender and sexuality is on a spectrum. Farah never had to worry about a society that expected her to be one thing, so there was never a reason to question it.

💡 What made them realize their sexuality?

Farah was watching a pre-war movie and paid close attention to an attractive high school couple on screen. She couldn’t figure out which she liked more: being the girl with her head on the guy’s shoulder, or imagining the girl with her head on her shoulder.

💌 When was their first serious relationship?

Her last relationship before escaping from the Institute. She was living with her girlfriend (the one she lost her virginity to) when her views toward synths began to change. 

💘 What was their most serious relationship?

That would be Farah’s relationship with Deacon. You know, if you call getting married and having children with someone a serious relationship. ;)

💝 What was their most recent serious relationship?

Again, Farah’s relationship with Deacon.

💗 What advice would they give a potential partner about making their relationship last if they could with no judgment?

Something all introverts can relate to: “Just because I don’t want to hang out with you doesn’t mean I don’t like you anymore. I just need some ‘me’ time.” 

💫 Have they ever been hit/struck by a partner?

No.

❌ What is the biggest mistake they make in their relationships?

Ugh, this is a hard question. The number of relationships Farah’s been in during her lifetime can be counted on one hand. It’s hard to notice a pattern of mistakes because each breakup happened for a different reason.

But the biggest mistake Farah made in her previous relationship was allowing herself to be taken for granted. When they moved in together, Farah put her girlfriend first. She focused on her internship, she supported her girlfriend’s career in Bioscience, but her emotional needs always fell to the wayside. 

💥 What was their worst relationship? 

Farah’s first relationship. It was also her first breakup, which is talked about in the 😭 question.

😓 Have they ever cheated on a partner?

No. 

😢 Have they ever been cheated on by a partner?

Also no.

💞 Would they ever enter/have they ever entered into a polyamorous relationship?

Nah, Farah’s would want her partner all to herself. *lol*

😭 When was their first breakup?

Farah was 15 years old. She thought she was madly in love with a boy her age. They dated for about 3 months and the relationship ended when her boyfriend became interested in someone else. He broke up with her in front of the other girl and Farah was left heartbroken.

💔 What was their worst breakup?

When Deacon broke up with Farah. They weren’t even a couple, but they were both aware of the feelings they had for each other. Deacon thought ending their relationship before it became too serious was the best way to protect her, and would it keep him from screwing things up. 

👍 What was their most amicable breakup?

It’d have to be with a girl she dated when she was 17. They lasted a few months but came to a point in their relationship where they realized they made better friends than partners. It was the easiest breakup Farah ever went through. 

🌙 Have they ever had a one night stand?

No. 

🍷 How far would they go on a first date? 

A goodnight kiss, if she really likes the person.

💍 Would they ever get married?

Oh yes. Marrying Deacon was one of the happiest days of her life.

💎 Would they rather propose or be proposed to? 

Farah’s a traditionalist and would like to be the one proposed to.

💒 What kind of wedding would they want to have?

Small, very private. There was a handful or witnesses (Claire, Danse, Sean, Curie, and Nick). Farah invited her parents but they refused to attend. An imam officiated the ceremony. There was a huge reception the next day (a surprise one organized by Claire), and I’m sure Hancock and Cait whined the whole time because there wasn’t any alcohol. 

👶 Do they want children?

There’s a difference between wanting children and deciding to bring them into the world. Farah always wanted children. When she was ostracized by most of the Institute because of her belief that synths were individuals and should be free, she didn’t want to raise a child in that environment. Where her child would be immediately judged and made an outcast because of her quote-unquote transgressions. 

But then Farah escaped to the Commonwealth, where she had more chances to be herself. The Commonwealth's a dangerous world, but at least, if Farah had children, they wouldn’t be subjected to as harsh judgement because of what she believes in. Also, with Deacon, the Railroad, and Claire and her family, her kids would have a large family that supported them.

🍼 Could a partner ever change their mind on children?

No, no one but Farah can change Farah’s mind. (Though you can bet she noticed how great Deacon is with kids. *lol*)

[benjaminkrennic]

Danny Rayburn x OC - Love at First Sight, Ch1 - Waiting For You

I don’t think it’d be right calling this a (x reader) fic because I know there is too much of me in this character. Either way, I hope you guys will enjoy it. Also, practically none of this is based off cannon, except Danny’s tragic past, but at least here he can be happy. Also, please forgive my grammar and formatting I know it’s not perfect. Anyway... here you go...

Warning - smut

My family hadn’t been here very long, three months maybe, but they’d gotten close with the Rayburn family as I had. It was hard not to like them, overall they were good people. We got together with them a lot and today was no exception. It’s the Fourth of July and we were invited by the Rayburn’s to go over to the inn for a celebration but there was a new member of the family there, Danny Rayburn. With his windblown hair and crystal blue eyes…Well, as soon as I saw him I swear I fucking fell in love. He’d noticed my gaze and smiled and that’s when I knew I was in deep; that this man, over twice my age, that if I didn’t get a taste of him I’d go insane.

When the two of us talked I managed to contain myself, and we talked a lot. In the back of my mind I was hoping it was because he wanted to bang me but in reality I knew it was because we were drawn to each other because we were both outcasts…

When Danny left my side for a while I talked to my family and, no surprise, they pissed me off and I quickly stormed out of there.

“Where you going?” Danny asks from the porch smoking a cigarette.

“I don’t know, away.”

“Wanna go see the fireworks with me?”

“Fireworks?” my eyes move up to meet his.

“They didn’t tell you?” he shakes his head, “Well, they’re magnificent really, they are.”

“Of course I’ll go,” I say without a second thought.

“Fantastic,” he says throwing his cigarette on the concrete, “We’ll take my truck I know the best spot.”

On the way there all I kept thinking to myself was how this isn’t a good idea, being alone with him. That I might do something stupid and screw everything up.

           As we watch the fireworks we sit next to each other yet apart despite my every desire to rest my head on his shoulder. Then the strangest thing happens. There’s a firework in the shape of a heart and immediately we both look at each other. What I see in his eyes is a raging desire unlike anything I’ve ever seen before and without thinking I quickly go in for a kiss. When I pull back Danny looks shocked and confused so I blurt out an, “I’m sorry, I-” only to be cut off with another kiss, a rough, demanding kiss.

Soon, the only time our lips are apart is when we need to take a breath. There was so much raw passion flowing though us that I wasn’t surprised when I was pulled on top of his lap. My hand caressing his cheek as his explore my body.

When he pulls back from our last kiss under the booming fireworks he asks, “Would you like it if we take this back to your place?” I can’t seem to speak so I just quickly nod and he gives a crooked smirk before picking me up and placing me in the truck.

Once he starts driving his hand goes into my pants. Danny takes his eyes off the road to see my reaction. Once he sees my flushed face he gives a devilish smirk which stays there the whole time. He’s enjoying playing with me, making me a complete mess, but of course I’m enjoying this too, perhaps a little more then I should.

When we’re in the bedroom we waste no time getting undressed. Danny’s soon standing naked in front of me and I look him over. He’s kept in pretty good shape, definitely hotter than I thought he’d be… Fuck, he has a large cock…

My face must show my shock because Danny teases, “Think you can handle it sweetheart?” with a smirk. I bite my lip and nod, still looking at it until he presses his naked body on mine, his hands gently cupping my ass. “Tell me what you want baby,” he whispers in between kisses, “I won’t do it unless you tell me.”

Only he could ask for consent and sound so sexy...and I was done waiting so I growl, “I want you to fuck me.”

“That’s my girl…” he coos, looking so damn fine before I’m placed on the bed and he’s climbing over me. With one swift movement he’s completely inside me and stretching me out. I can’t help but let out a loud moan. “Beautiful…” he growls before he starts to thrust. As he does his eyes wander but he doesn’t hide his face like I do when our gazes meet. My head is tilted to the side when he, still thrusting, moves his hand up to my face guiding it back up to see his crystal blue eyes. “I want to see that beautiful face of yours when I make you come…”

My face instantly flushes read, he smirks and whispers between breaths, “You are something special…” My eyes were on his the second before the first surge of pleasure hit me. When my eyes return to him there was a handsome smile across his face as I lay beneath him panting. Danny was starting to pull out but I quickly wrapped my legs back around him and pulled his cock back in allowing him to come inside me. As he did he let out the most beautiful moan I’ve ever heard.

Danny lies down beside me and turns his sweet face towards mine and asks, “Where have you been all my life?”

“Waiting for you.”

 When I wake up and see that he’s gone it’s a little depressing but I’m hoping he just went to go work at the inn so that’s where I go. When I walk in Kevin’s there and he always has something to say. “You know your car’s still here.”

“Yea, I know.”

“So who’d you go home with last night?” I let out a sigh of relief when I spot Danny tending to the sand. Kevin leans over to see what it was about and practically yells, “No way! You slept with Danny!”

I quickly shush him, “Nobody knows about this ok?”

“Yea, sure.”

I dismiss him and head over to Danny; he stops what he’s doing and comes over to me. “Please tell me this is more than a one night stand…” I beg.

“I want it to be more…” he softly says looking down at the sand in shyness.

“But?”

“But it’s completely up to you.” I think some part of him believed just one night was all he was going to get.

I place my hand on his cheek feeling some need to comfort him and give him a soft kiss, “I want to be with you forever.”

“Forever?” he asks picking me up, my legs wrapping around his torso, his arms around his waist.

“Yes, forever.” I smile, he returns the favor, captivating me with his, the most pure and happy smile I’ve ever seen, before he kisses me again. Soon we’re on the sand, he’s on top of me and we’re making out.

“Danny.” Kevin accuses, interrupting us, “Mom’s on her way down.”

Danny sighs before getting up and offering me a hand which I brush away. He however insists on helping brush the sand off me. Kevin rolls his eyes and walks away as that’s happening.

“Danny,” I say in a serious tone, grabbing his biceps and holding his gaze, “No one can know about this ok? It’s not because I’m embarrassed of you or anything so don’t even go there, I just don’t need to take anymore shit from my family ok?”

“Alright…” he sighs, disappointed.

 “Mason?” we hear from a far, “What’re you doing here so early?” Mama Ray asks approaching us, “You should stay for breakfast if you don’t have anywhere else to be.”

“Sure, I’d love to.”

“Well come on in, it’s almost ready.” And so the four of us sit at the table together. “Why’d you leave the party so early honey?”

“I got into a fight with one of my family members again.”

“That’s a shame dear. I’d stop inviting them if my husband didn’t insist on it.”

“When did you move here with them?” Danny asks.

“Oh, that’s right, Danny doesn’t know, you met my oldest son Danny right?”

“Yea, we talked at the party last night.”

“You did more than that…” Kevin teases under his breath.

“That’s good…” she says completely oblivious.

“And I didn’t even move here with them. I moved down here about a year ago to get away from them after my book deal came through. But then they, of course, decided they should move here too.”

“Book deal?” Danny questions a little surprised.

“Yea,” Mama Ray says, “She’s an amazing author.”

“You’re reading my book?”

“Yea, I wasn’t gonna tell you ‘till I was all done but that didn’t work. Oh, and I��ve been meaning to ask you, you know about that issue with room 12?”

“Yea.”

“Well, it’s worse than we thought, would you mind taking a look at it?”

“Of course I can.”

“Before you ask,” Kevin says leaning over to Danny, “yes, she works here.” I quickly go check on the a/c unit in 12 hoping and praying that Kevin won’t tell Danny anything I don’t want him to know while I’m gone.

“I can definitely fix it,” I declare walking back in, “but I’ll have to go pick up some new parts, might take a day or two.”

She lets out a sigh of relief, “What would I do without you?”

           After breakfast Danny and I head out to the beach to talk. “So, you’re pretty close with my family?”

“Yea, they helped me settle in here. I like them, well except your dad…Is it weird that I’m close with your family?”

“Not particularly.”

“That’s good.”

“So what’d ya say we pick up where we left off earlier?”

I stop walking and let out a very concerned, “Not here right?”

“No, we’ll take the boat.”

“That won’t be…”

“Suspicious? No, we can just say we were out trying to catch some fish.”

“But then don’t we actually have to catch some fish?”

“Nah, we’ll just buy some at the market and pretend we caught them.”

That makes me smile, “Ok then, let’s go.”

                                          TO BE CONTINUED

[observationsandimpressions-blog]

Spoilers

I have to credit my son with this one, but it’s so salient that I have to write it down.  It has to do with movies, and more specifically movie formats.  If you want to destroy your appreciation of any genre of movie, read on. He told me this: “I hate romantic comedies now.  They all have the same plot:  Nutless Wonder doofus guy with a good heart but little else going for him meets a girl way over his head both physically and socially and falls completely in love. Said girl has Macho Shithead Asshole boyfriend and ignores Nutless Wonder, but over time his sincerity and perseverance win her over.  She dumps Macho Shithead Asshole boyfriend and begins dating Nutless Wonder.  BUT all of a sudden, some odd combination of events turns her completely off from him and it’s off in a big way.  Things look bleak, but 5 minutes before the credits roll, Nutless Wonder develops one nut and he screws up the courage to do what he should have done way back at the get-go and gets honest.  They live happily ever after”.  I started thinking about that, and the movies it applied to: “Hitch”, “Failure to launch”, “What happens in Vegas”, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, “Notting Hill”… do I need to go on? I used to think of these things as light comedy, but now view them with an awfully jaundiced eye as sadly formulaic. It’s like a human-being version of a Disney movie, and in fact most Disney movies follow that same story line. Who the hell dreamed that one up? Whoever they are, they’re rich beyond their wildest dreams.  Knowing the story line, I ought to write a screen play- maybe about two guys who go to weddings uninvited and meet girls with whom they inadvertently fall in love…

But let’s extend this spoiler to other genres.  Action/adventure is so transparent that I can do it in a sentence:  Superman (even a human being, they’re super in this movie)faces insurmountable odds and beats them through resourcefulness, protective instincts, and pure doggedness. This covers all the “Die Hard” series, “Transformer” series, ALL the superhero stuff (“Hulk”, “Fantastic Four”, “Superman”, etc.), the “Matrix”, the “Rambo”, “Terminator”, the “Walking Dead” series…  The one that straddles the above genre of romantic comedy and action/adventure are the “Rocky” series, where superman fucks up and loses his girl- only to win her back in the closing 5 minutes.  Sometimes the writers twist it around a little, giving the antagonist’s perspective, as in “Godzilla” or “King Kong”, but in the end it’s the same story line.

And now that I’m on the superman thing, can’t the writers of these things bring themselves down to reality for even a second?  If a normal human being were subjected to the ordeals that these individuals have to put up with in the first fifteen minutes of the movie, they’d be dead.  Hell, the first fight would leave 99% of us gasping for breath, holding our broken noses and grabbing our balls in agony.  To have these ‘ordinary’ people do it again and again and again and AGAIN gets a little monotonous.  I give you  Matrix Revolutions for a prime example.  C’mon already.

And one more thing while I’m on Action/adventure (I’ll move on in a minute, really):  Imagine walking around with complete amnesia, not knowing your name, what your living is, or even where you are.  I’m talking about the Bourne series here.  For a guy with complete amnesia, he knows the streets of Paris, Tunis and Moscow like the back of his hand.  I wish the heck I could navigate the way he does.  In reality, someone with complete amnesia would be a sitting duck for a professional assassination organization (try typing that a few times):  Amnesiac wanders down a street wondering what the hell he’s doing there and “Pffft!” he’s dead, dropped by a sniper 900 meters distant.  Never knew what hit whoever he was.  Shortest movie in the world.  

Ok, moving on.  I’ll dismiss the horror genre with the simplest of plot lines:  Lost groups of people go into places they shouldn’t and meet horrible, more and more gory endings.  This genre actually started out with the Hitchcock suspense movies, but writers have to work HARD for suspense, and gore is SO much easier…  

Now I get to my next-to-least favorite genre: Movies that set out at the start of the movie to make you cry at the end.  In the 60’s it was “Brian’s Song” and “Old Yeller”, continued in the 70’s with “Love Story”, moved through the 80’s with “Fried Green Tomatoes” and “Terms of Endearment”, through the 90’s with “The Notebook”, but hasn’t let up- “Marley and Me” is right in the wheelhouse, and so is “The Promise”.  Plot?  Loveable individual goes through life endearing themselves to all around them and then they die.  End of movie. I hate these fucking things with a passion, and steadfastly avoid them like the plague.  Why would I spend $9 to see such shit?  But at least something happens!   Hey wait a minute!  I just realized that “Marley and Me” is a REMAKE of “Old Yeller”!  Those bastards!  Here I thought it was a maudlin original!  At least they SHOT Old Yeller!!!!

The next genre is my least favorite one (see?  The ‘movies that set out to make you cry really was NEXT TO my least favorite one!  I love it when things work out that way):  Romantic Drama, especially period pieces.  I hate you Jane Austin.  Story line is like plucking a daisy:  He loves her, he loves her not, he loves her, he loves her not…  GOD!  Get on with it!!!  Pull the plug out of your ass (and your piehole for that matter) and tell her what you think!  You too, you spineless wimp of a woman!  Actually, BOTH hero and heroine (and I'm using both terms very loosely here) deserve each other.  Each is so emotionally constipated that neither one of them can express anything beyond the occasional emotional fart.  The worst part is that these movies drag on for an eternity, and you KNOW the ending will be that they live happily ever after.  If you want a movie that has nothing but dialogue, you’ve found your genre. Not a damn thing happens in these except more talking- anything of note happens off-scene; you only know about it because they drone on about it for the next 20 minutes.

And now I’ll move on to my favorite movie genre, comedies.  Since I’ve already mauled romantic comedies, I’m talking about physical comedy and juvenile comedy.  Most of these mix up a little of each of the above genres as a base for the comedy, but things go horribly different than what would happen in the standard genre above. This genre covers spoofs like “Airplane” (Action/adventure), “The Hangover” and “Bridesmaids” (Romantic Comedy), “Scary Movie” (horror).  I cannot think of one for my least favorite two- who could make a comedy about a romantic drama?  Maybe Woody Allen’s “A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy”?  It’s not one of his best, which is an indication of how hard putting up a spoof of romantic dramas is.

Then there’s Juvenile comedy.  Story line? Loner or group of individuals, usually outcasts, set up their own way of doing things, thumbing their noses at society and ultimately triumphing in the end.  “Animal House” is the all-time winner here, but “Revenge of the Nerds” is there, and so are “Caddyshack”, “Ferris Buhler”, and the classics of “National Lampoon’s Vacation” and “Christmas Vacation”.  Yes, they’re formulaic, yes, they’re juvenile, but the humor is just so rich and varied that you’ve got to laugh.

I started out spoiling genres and ended up with a tribute.  Is there bias here?  Nah.

[goldfieldgold]

Got tagged by @moonxshots
Let’s get started 😊 1. When was the last time you swam in a pool?
- dunno long time ago 
2. Do you like to party?
- depends, but kinda yes
3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do?
- there's no ex so yeah 
4. Are you a virgin?
- yes
5. What are your parents views on sex?
- i dont talk to them about sex. they say its my thing 
6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years would you marry them?
- I already wanna be married in 10years so..
7. Is your best friend dating anyone?
- yes
8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing.
- plain grey 
9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you?
- why should they? You can wear what you want 
10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up?
- absolutely 
11. What is one feature that you don’t like?
- idk
12. Would people describe you as happy?
- I think most of them would do 
13. Are you single?
- yes :( 
14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single?
- no why? 
15. Do you have Tumblr?
- noooooooooooooo
16. What about Xanga?
- what?
17. Have you ever babysat before?
- no
18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate?
- kinda
19. Ever shopped at Sephora?
- unfortunately not :( 
20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away what would you do?
- nothing because there is no one 
21. Do you have any university plans?
- yes 
22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do?
- nothing, should be nothing that you have to reveal. It’s normal. 
23. What are your views on sex?
- normal 
24. Do sexual questions bother you?
- not really 
25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up?
- again what boyfriend? 
26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding?
- all the time I love it 
27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? Nd stuff?
- no but sometimes I have a hard time figuring out what it means 
28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook?
- what exes?
29. Would you ever date a friends Ex?
- it depends but I don't think so 
30. What’s the last book you read?
- 4 Days in November 
31. Ready for 10 simple questions?
- shoot 
32. What is your last name?
- starts with the 18th letter 
33. What grade are you in?
- 12th (senior year whooops) 
34. What school do you go to?
- private one 
35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring?
- fall and winter
36. Favorite Color?
- red, pink 
37. Are your parents together?
- married since over 30 years 
38. Any siblings?
- brother 
39. Favorite subject?
- history 
40. Least favorite subject?
- math
41. Favorite song?
- too many 
42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy?
- nooo get them back
43. How many friends do you have on Facebook?
- 140-ish I think 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country?
- yeah
45. Have you ever googled yourself?
- all the time 😂
46. Have a Formspring?
- sorry? 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do?
- give one to a friend who really likes jb and go with them (even though I'm not really into him but it's for free you know) 
48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park?
- amusement 
49. Been to Disney world?
- no 
50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean?
- everyone does I guess 
51. Ever had a boyfriend?
- nope
52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know?
- not a huge one but a tiny one indeed 
53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret?
- i regret everything? Turning right not left, making my bed, wearing that shirt, eating that stuff etc
54. Ever drank alcohol?
- Of course 
55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs?
- Just a unconfirmed confirmed suspicion 
56. Ever watched The Hills?
- no
57. What about Jersey Shore?
- yea but disliked it
58. Ever called someone a slut?
- no
59. What do you think of short shorts?
- everyone can wear what they feel good in if it goes a long with a certain dress code at certain occasions 
60. Does it bother you if people swear around you?
- No 
61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject?
- yes
62. What about a B?
- yes
63. And a C?
- yes
64. How about a D?
- yes
65. Ever plagiarised?
- nope
66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle?
- i think I'm rather an outcast or directly invisible 
67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you?
- both 
68. Ever been stabbed In the back by a close friend?
- way too often 
69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69?
- yeah! 70. Ever watched Porn?
- yes 
71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month?
- hopefully none 
72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock?
- oh yeah
73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays?
- neither 
74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join?
- no because I can't sing 
75. Ever performed in a talent show?
- no
76. Have you ever cried in public?
- yeah
77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad?
- Mhm no 
78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition?
- never
79. How many celebrity crushes have you had?
- several 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had?
- a few I guess
81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive.
- young tom cruise, young Leonardo di caprio, Jensen Ackles, Andrew Garfield, Matt Damon 
82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive - Emma Watson, eh.. 
83. Ever been compared to a celebrity?
- no
84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook?
- on my old account yes 
85. Do you think spending 20$ on Lip Gloss is a waste of money?
- not always 
86. Ever used Opinionated?
- ??
87. Do you have a favorite store?
- no
88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans?
- what? 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny?
- no
90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week?
- yes
91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school?
- 2 weeks 
92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand?
- not always 
93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture?
- no
94. Own a pair of converse?
- 2 
95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites?
- yeah
96. If yes, are you one of them?
- never
97. Do you text in class?
- no my school is very strict 
98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most?
- H&M 
99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” Most magazines say 10. Do you agree?
- no! 
100. Do you want to lose weight?
- yes but triggering topic 
101. Ever seen a therapist?
- yes
102. Ever watched porn?
- yes
103. Ever purposely ignored a text?
- yes
104. A facebook message?
- yes
105. A poke?
- yes
106. A friend request?
- yes
107. Would you say you read into things too much?
- im trying not to but yes I do 
108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid?
- dunno 
109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?)
- yes 
110. Ever been called a bully?
- no
111. Ever purposely hurt yourself?
- yeah
112. Ever gone to church?
- yes 
113. Would you call either or your parents screw ups?
- yes
114. If you turned out exactly like your Dad would you be pleased?
- no
115. What about your Mom?
- not really either but better than my dad
116. Let me guess… You have brown hair?
- brown blonde red - ish 
117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween?
- Not a big fan of Halloween 
118. Do you still go Trick or Treating?
- nah
119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you?
- celebrity crushes 
120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus?
- oh yeah! 
121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people?
- yes 😂
122. Ever had a credit card denied?
- no
123. What’s the last movie you watched?
- cheetah girls 😂😂😂😂😂😂 
124. Last TV Show?
- suits 
125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do?
- there is still no one 
126. Ever been called a whore?
- no
127. Ever sang the national anthem?
- yes I love it 
128. Ever made yourself throw up?
- tried to 
129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend.
- didn't kiss anyone so far in my life 
130. Are you Cute or Gross?
- some say so some say so 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”
- Mhm not anymore 
132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like?
- there is no one but I'm really shy and clumsy 
133. Ever had the lead in a play?
- no
134. What about a solo in a concert?
- no 
135. What kind of a student are you?
- that invisible one with average grades who talks too fast 
136. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten with a Letter?
- /
137. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten with a number?
- 5 
138. Ever had a crush on a teacher?
- kinda but he wasn't a teacher yet 
139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant?
- she’s in her mid-fifties so yes
140. How late do you sleep in?
- depends
141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them?
- sometimes with snapseed 
142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you?
- no one is ugly
143. Do you believe in all that inner beauty crap?
- kinda yes
144. Would you consider yourself a good student?
- average 
145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?”
- yes
146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy?
-salty 
147. Are you going into High School this year?
- ending high school this year 
148. What about Junior High?
- //
149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry?
- you're stupid 150. Where did you find this note?
- got tagged 
151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone?
- too Many I’m tagging everyone who wants to and reads this