#oh and i can buy groceries today hehehehe

[landofgay]

OKAY

2DS: ORDERED

CASE: ORDERED

PROPER FORMAT AND SIZE OF MICROSD: ORDERED

[saltygilmores]

Gilmore Girls-Season 2-Episode 5

In 2020, I reviewed Gilmore Girls episodes on Twitter. I'm reposting them here in all of their snarky glory.

*phone rings at Luke's diner* Oh the fateful phone call. Poor Jess. What did he ever do so bad to deserve getting sent to this Connecticut hell hole? Find it weird that Jess had never been to Stars Hollow and met the Gilmores at any point in his 17 years on earth. Lorelai says "Oh your nephew" like she kind of knows he exists but then asks Luke a lot of basic questions about him she should already have known since she NEVER stops talking to him. I can't believe in her many years of being Luke's most annoying and pestering customer she's never thought to ask him any questions about his family. I suppose you could chalk this one up to Luke and his penchant for not opening up to people.

They retconned this: here he says Liz and Jimmy were married until Jess was 15, but then later we find out Jimmy left when Jess was born. The show runners were like, eh, a kid having parents who divorce when he's 15 is pretty sucky, but it's not nearly tragic enough. *scribbles out script* How about his Dad left him after he was born after saying he was going out to buy diapers, his Mom is an alcoholic who drank while she was pregnant with him and racked up 4 more husbands including one who died and who will go on to have another child that is the light of her life? That'll do nicely. "I'm sure she put at least 5 or 6 minutes of thought into (her decision to leave Jess). You're being too generous Luke. I'm observing the groceries Luke bought home. Are you trying to put your nephew into a sugar coma? Two varieties of Rice Krispie treats, a pint of ice cream, Pop Tarts Pastries. And a bottle of Vitamins for balance. "He's been staying out late. Getting rowdy." Oh no. not Getting rowdy. What did he do, get wild at a 24 Hour Barnes and Noble? Baby is a socially anxious introvert. Dictionary defines rowdy as "noisy and disorderly." He is the most pathetic excuse for a juvenile delinquent. At the end of season 3 he goes to a wild keg party and talks to no one but Rory the whole time. I watched Jack Pearson die yesterday and Jess Mariano arrive today. Milo out, Milo in. Hehehehe.

I love that "This is Hell" begins to play as he takes in the town. You don't know the half of it yet kid.

Okay, okay, slow down a little on the cigarettes kiddo, look how many are on that ashtray...errr, paper plate? This meal is CHAOS. He has what looks to me to be a bowl of walnuts and the bowl looks like a hollowed out tree trunk? Plus, some dry cereal that looks like it's on a yellow heart shaped plate? No milk or spoon. And an empty can of either beer or ginger ale. Balanced Breakfast!

"You'll like Rory. She's like Lorelai, except she has a slighty tighter grasp on reality." LOL

Boy howdy, are you two about to board a rollercoaster ride. Buckle in.

With you Jess? Anytime. Let's go.

He's drinkin a beer! Watch out! This boy is out of control! Lorelai: "Dean would NEVER drink a beer!" Okay, I made that up but I'd throw money into the ring that she says it at some point. This is probably the nicest Lorelai will ever be to Jess from here on out so I may as well enjoy this.

Okay, Jess was a prick in that scene. But I have some sympathy for him and what he's been through, at least. I don't feel quite so bad when DEAN talks to Lorelai like that. And all she does to Dean is give him a pat on the head and a cupcake.

How many times has Lorelai boycotted Luke's because something happened to make things awkward with him?

1) As always I encourage all forms of theft from Taylor and 2) I encourage any sort of theft to take away money from repairing that god damn bridge because the town is run by a bunch of idiots who wouldn't know how to budget for such a minor thing to save their lives so screw em. That god damn bridge STILL isn't fixed well into the later seasons because I started my Twitter-Review journey at the end of season 5, and I remember fundraisers were still going on for it afterwards! Fuck the Stars Hollow Bridge!

I guess Liz also neglected Jess to the point that she never bought him new clothes when he had a growth spurt. I'm saying that sweater is TITE. I am convinced after this episode the wardrobe dept realized Milo was way too buff to look 17 years old and that was the end of the tights sweaters. Nothing but baggy clothes and big ugly coats from here on out. The only thing better than Jess is the banter between Jess and Luke. I absolutely buy that Jess is Luke's nephew. Perfect character. Perfect casting. Perfect chemistry between the two actors. But he's nothing like either of his "parents" though so go figure. Would have made more sense to cast him as Luke's son. I don't believe that Middle of Nowhere Stars Hell-ow would have anyone who could recite The Pledge in 6 different languages. That sounds wayyy more like a Chilton thing. I also don't think someone like Jess who likely went to diverse schools in New York City would think it was unsuual or something to complain about.

The bridge looks fine to me. What is The Bridge Repair Fund a front for, Taylor? "Nowhere in either Stars Hollow or it's surrounding counties can you get a decent cup of coffee." If you look closely, you may spot this can in Luke's in a few early episodes (in later episodes, it's a red plastic carton of Folgers coffee with the label peeled off). If you're not American, let me fill you in: Hills Brothers and Folgers are both dirt cheap brands of coffee you can find in Walmart or literally any other supermarket in the country. Head on down to the Stars Hollow Walmart, Lor. $7.84 for this can. I looked it up.

Lorelai is then seen pouring coffee into her machine from a small white bag that is probably way fancier than anything Luke serves. Also, Idk the first thing about coffee but do you really keep it in the fridge?

She's a FRAUD! And Luke's a FRAUD for serving supermarket coffee and acting like it's his special blend!

I noticed he stole a gnome, not a yacht.

How bad can he be? He does MAGIC TRICKS! Cammmonn.

If I were Rory, Dean would have been deleted from my memory at this point. Dean WHO?

[honestlywhateverahh]

08.02.

yesterday really just was a hell of a day, i kept on eating even though i already felt so sick and at night i kinda shit my brains out ugh, anyway:

breakfast:

flatbread with philadelphia balance and lyoner (240)

1 tiiiny pear (80)

well i went to a fitness-kickboxing-thingy today so i worked out for 2 1/2-3 hours, in the breaks i each had a snack & afterwards i also ate sth so

snacks:

another tiiiny pear (80)

flatbread with philadelphia balance and lyoner (240)

protein yoghurt (120)

1 apple because GO VITAMINS (80)

840kcals, it's 2:30pm, i moved a lot and i also feel more or less satisfied, at home i'm gonna finish my project for english class and make sth nice for lunch/dinner later :) i feel physically energized and just so much better than yesterday, damn

only gotta drink some more water

meal at ~4:15pm:

cooked flat beans (200 - a lifesaver)

1 baked sweet potato without oil (110)

1150kcals

so far, so good ... i need more snack-like food that's not just fruits/veggies

update it's 6:30pm and i'm fucking starving ahhh

imma eat flatbread with avocado because nom

evening snack 1:

flatbread with 1/4 of an avocado (180)

flatbread with philadelphia balance & lyoner (240)

1570kcals, oh well

the thing is i just responded to my hunger, now i feel an urge to binge? i suddenly wanna eat everything there is and no? (wanted to go to the grocery store now to buy passion fruits BUT i'm afraid i might buy chocolate or baking cheese and baguette ughh) why do i suddenly crave cheesy pizza so much??? just cheese in general oh damn ... or chocolate ... ahhhhhh i mean i can still eat some stuff, i'm below my usual 1800-2000 limit and i moved around a lot ... okay okay okay i have to find a solution

found sth great:

two bananas (200)

dipped in

chocolate protein pudding (150)

350, well, it's not exactly low cal ... BUT i had to eat these bananas anyway and some more protein won't be bad for me, not with working out

who's gonna complain about 1920kcals? didn't eat anything "unhealthy" today, a lot of flatbread maybe and the protein pudding also wasn't exactly healthy, but honestly ... it should be okay

better, so much better than bingeing!

i still don't dare going to penny though ... on the other hand damn, i really love passion fruits and they never usually have them, i also need more philadelphia (balance) for the coming days and maybe more protein pudding so i can satisfy my cravings ...? okay fuck it i'm gonna go, now that i ate the banana with chocolate i'm less likely to binge or buy trigger foods & i wanna talk to lars, too

btw, something new i wanted to try: no food after 7pm because i feel guilty when i fall asleep with my stomach still feeling full

(it's 7:05pm now hehehehe)

1920

nothing more