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#oh did i say little happy stim i mean big happy stim i stomp my feet on the ground and do little ''eeeeee''s lmao
donuts4evry1 · 2 years
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fun fact the monterey bay aquarium has (what I hope is) an atolla jellyfish hanging from the ceiling and I think it is very cool :)
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bandomgay · 1 year
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God idk if I'll be able to make one of those big posts everyone makes after their shows cause unfortunately as usual even though I was happy and excited and my entire life is like literally changed I'm still prone to dissociation in even low stress situations so unfortunately I don't remember a lot but there is moments I wanna talk about that I do remember
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I don't remember what song it was but he did this extremely cute thing during one song where he held his face with his right hand over his ear and in his hair and it was SOOOO adorable literally god he's so fucking cute
During the view from the afternoon there was a literal jamex moment they both basically did like kung. Fu?😭😭 stances at eachother and they both like skipped back and did this dramatic stance and OH MY GODDD Jamie was REALLY feeling pretty vistors like even Alex was REALLLLY into it IT WAS AMAZING
He kept calling us amazing and beautiful crowd we were so FUCKING LOUD like for instance during the encore waiting part we started banging on ALL OF THE SEATS AND I MEAN EVERYONE STOMPING AND HITTING THE SEATS IT WAS SUCH A HIVE MIND MOMENT
There was these 3 guys talking about how they wanted to see mirrorball every song behind me ,😭😭😭 and literally HOLLERED when she finally came down and they were so mad she didn't come down during there'd better be a mirrorball and when she went back up they all started BOOING the guys kept saying "OH GOD HES RIGHT THERE HES LITERALLY RIGHT THERE GOD THAT'S THE LITTLE GUY HIMSELF GOD HES SMALL I JUST WANNA BE ON STAGE WITH HIM ONCE GOD" I was SMILING SO BAD LITERALLY ONE OF US
There was a girl literally sobbing so hard she couldn't speak or walk and her friend and mother were just talking pictures of her red faced and wheezing saying "SMILEEEE" I DIED 💀💀💀💀💀
One person was like "he's literally just saying shit man" THE TONE WAS SO FUNNYYYT
He made a weird ass noise that maybe was like him sighing but honestly it kinda sounded like a whimper and everyone copied the noise right after 😭😭😭
"mr Matthew j helders the third on tha D R U M S and in the spirit of introductions heres a song about a girl I made UP"
He KEPT doing the hair stim literally for me okay
Things I got:
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:)
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katrinawritesthings · 6 years
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Jonghyun/Taemin; sk8 d8 (Part 2/2); PG
doing the cha cha slide  with a hundred other people on skates is the cornerstone of who i am today as a human thank u for your time
Taemin smiles innocently and slides one hand up Jonghyun’s arm and over his shoulder.
“This is where the teenagers come to make out where no one can see them,” he says slyly. He’s honestly amazed that there wasn’t a couple squished down here already. He must be lucky today.
“Ew,” Jonghyun mumbles, scrunching his nose. “Why the fuck are we here then?”
part 1
ao3
“This is just as rad as Jungs said it would be, fuck,” Jonghyun mumbles. He watches the floor of the dark rink, watches the colorful light flowers and stars swirl and rotate over the hardwood. They glow on the walls, too, and on him, and on Taemin next to him as they skate slowly together, the stripes of his sweater making the lights into a choppy illusion that he can’t stop glancing at.
Taemin grins lazy at him, lights flashing in his earrings and on the glowstick bracelets around his wrists and on the wheels of his quads. He also has a cheap glowstick on a cord around his neck that Jonghyun bought earlier because he wanted to surprise him and didn’t know that he brought his own glowy shit already. Jonghyun was pretty embarrassed about that, but Taemin still put it on and it matches the one that Jonghyun bought for himself, so whatever.
“This must be the raddest thing you’ve ever seen, then, considering how much Jungie exaggerates everything,” Taemin says. Jonghyun snorts, giggling into his hand. She is an embellishing little bub, yeah.
“One time during practice, she scraped her knee and acted so overdramatic about it that we thought she actually, like, broke something,” he says. He loves that little bean child, honestly.
“Sounds like her, yeah,” Taemin grins. They reach a turn and he again tugs Jonghyun to take it wide, pulling him with their linked arms to skate near the wall instead of sharp around the inner corners. Jonghyun lets himself be pulled lazily. This slow skating thing is nice, he thinks, especially with a cute babe like Taemin next to him.
Taemin is still skate dancing, too; he bobs to the funky music, taking his strides to the beat and doing little kicks and twists of his feet. Jonghyun can tell every time he wants to spin but stops himself to keep holding onto Jonghyun. It’s cute. And impressive, honestly. Jonghyun has no idea how he does it.
“How do you--” he mumbles, and tries to copy the way Taemin quickly lifts his right foot in front of his left and then pops it backwards. He clips his left boot with his back right wheel and almost stumbles. Taemin chuckles as he holds Jonghyun a little tighter to steady him.
“Years of practise,” he says, “and skates that aren’t obnoxiously long.” He lifts his own left foot and wiggles his quad, a skate that is admittedly much shorter than Jonghyun’s. Jonghyun still pouts, though, and lifts his own inline skate to wiggle.
“They’re made for speed,” he says defensively. So he can take wide strides and nyoom really fast. Taemin nods with a shrug.
“So not made for dancing,” he says easily. “I bet if you practised in quads for a while you could do some tricks.”
“God, no, I’m garbage on quads,” Jonghyun mutters. He can’t skate on them at all, which is wild, considering he learned on them when he was a little tot. Taemin shrugs again and squeezes his arm gently.
“Guess I’ll have to be enough of a master dancer for the both of us,” he says. Jonghyun squeezes him back. He guesses so. He’s at that point already, honestly; he never stepped off of the beat once during that whole little conversation. It’s almost breathtaking, how Taemin seems to be one with the music even when he’s only giving it half of his attention. It’s almost like he was born to be here, on the hardwood, in those skates, breathing the music in and exhaling it out as art.
“You’re looking at me all dreamy again,” Taemin hums. His pretty lips curve into a smirk as Jonghyun blinks and blushes and looks away.
When he looks back at Taemin, he means to say “stop looking so dreamy then,” but the words catch in his throat as a bigger light rolls over his face. He’s gorgeous, mussed hair falling around his cheeks, dark eyes almost black in the dim light, slightly hooked nose and round cheeks and plush lips all relaxed and content, like he’s happy to just exist here in this moment.
Jonghyun swallows thickly and is the first to tug on Taemin’s arm this time, pulling him inwards, through the crowd and into the center but away from the rest of the dancers. Taemin follows, but hums curiously, tilting his head at Jonghyun in question. Jonghyun unlinks their arms but only so he can stand in front of Taemin and look up at him. A circle of blue stars swirls over Taemin’s face before continuing away.
Jonghyun opens his mouth, closes it, shakes his head, rubs the back of his undercut sheepishly. He has no idea how to put what he wants to express in words.
Instead, he leans forward and up and presses a short but warm kiss to Taemin’s pretty mouth.
Taemin is smiling when Jonghyun pulls back, happy and lazy, and he leans forward and gives Jonghyun a slow return peck. Jonghyun bounces on his toes happily before they link their arms together again and skate back into the crowd. This time, Jonghyun laces their fingers together as well.
~
“Five hops this time!”
“Five?” Jonghyun shrieks, eyes wide. “On skates?”
Taemin laughs even harder than he already was as he does his five hops, putting a hand on Jonghyun’s shoulder to steady himself so his breathlessness doesn’t tip him over. Holy shit. Holy shit, this is the best thing he’s ever experienced. Jonghyun looks absolutely baffled as the crowd of people in the center of the rink also do five hops, on skates, the thud of wheels on hardwood almost loud enough to drown out the music.
“Fuck, don’t--” Jonghyun stumbles as he tries to hop and hold Taemin’s weight at the same time. The only reason he doesn’t fall completely is because Taemin grabs him and holds him in a close hug, laughing loud into his shoulder.
“Oh my fucking god,” he giggles.
“Taems, who the fuck decided the Cha Cha Slide was a good song for skates?” Jonghyun asks. Taemin grips his sweaty shirt and just laughs more, nuzzling into his neck and breathing deep his cologne. He skips a few steps of the dance, but pulls away eventually and pushes his hair out of his face.
“It’s a great song for skates, Jongie,” he grins. He stomps his left foot to the beat; Jonghyun does too, half a second late. “And technically it’s the Cha Cha Slide Part Two.” The better version. “They do this every night.” He stomps his right foot to the beat. Jonghyun shakes his head in disbelief.
“Every--”
“Freeze!” the song commands, and then Taemin, along with the rest of the crowd, all chorus with it, “everybody clap your hands!”
And Jonghyun looks so bewildered again at the practised unison of the entire rink that Taemin has to laugh again as he claps quickly to the beat. This is the best Cha Cha Slide he’s ever been a part of. Jonghyun claps too, after a moment, looking defeated and resigned to finally just go with the song without complaining. Taemin grins and bumps their hips together. He’s so cute.
“Come on,” he says as the song tells them to get down low. He takes Jonghyun’s hands and tugs him down a little, then lets go and jams the rest of the way down himself, rolling his legs out in an easy split. Jonghyun scoffs at him from where he’s just crouching down, hands on his knees.
“Showoff,” he says. Taemin throws him a finger pistol as he gets back up.
“You know it,” he grins. They hop, they stomp left, they stomp right, they cha cha real smooth. Taemin watches Jonghyun fondly as he rolls through the steps easily on his quads. The speedster is getting better at the smooth movements, the grooving in place. He’s even moving his hips a little to the beat. Taemin wants to touch his cute butt but stops himself by spinning a full circle before turning with the rest of the crowd. Maybe later.
For now, they just follow the dance and blend with the crowd around them. Taemin lets the music fill him all the way up from the inside, lets it thump in his ears and his heart and his soul. The pound of the crowd all doing the same steps as him surrounds him as well, making him feel as big as all of them, larger than life, massive and all encompassing. He loves being here and belonging here.
He also loves that after a few more steps he feels Jonghyun’s little hand wiggling to link their arms together. It’s cute, and he smiles at Jonghyun, but he also pulls his arm away apologetically.
“Bad timing,” he tells Jonghyun’s little pout, and then the song tells them to reverse. Six times.
Taemin spins; he skips some of the in between steps and just spins, angles his feet and lifts his arms and twists himself around and around. This is always his favorite part. He loves spinning. It’s his favorite stim.
When he’s done, he grins broad and lazy, flicks his hair out of his face, and finds Jonghyun just looking at him again, stars in his gorgeous brown eyes. He does that a lot. Taemin wonders if every time he does it he wants to kiss him again like he did the first time. He bets he does.
“Cha Cha now, ya’ll,” the song says. Taemin moves to Jonghyun’s side and links their arms again easily, watching fondly as Jonghyun looks down at his skates to watch his feet do the dance move with a tiny little smile. Jonghyun slides his hand down Taemin’s forearm to link their hands as well and Taemin grins. He keeps complaining about sweaty hands but it’s not Taemin that keeps initiating the handholding.
He taps his thumb on the back of Jonghyun’s hand to the beat of the song as they go through a few rounds of cha chas. After Jonghyun stumbles and giggles a little on the two hops; his other hand grapples for Taemin’s forearm to hold himself steady, his nose all scrunched up. Taemin hides his too wide smile behind his free hand. Jonghyun is so cute. And the way his strong bicep squeezes Taemin closer isn’t bad either.
His skin is so warm, warm and soft under Taemin’s fingers, and with the way he brushes up next to Taemin with every movement Taemin can just faintly smell the woody, musky aroma of his perfume. As the seconds go by he wants to slip his arm all the way around Jonghyun’s shoulders instead, wants to feel him small and close and comfy against his side. For once he thinks he’s actually glad that the song is ending soon.
“Charlie Brown!”
“What the fuck is a Charlie B--” Jonghyun starts, and then cuts himself short as he watches Taemin and the rest of the rink all do a perfect Charlie Brown. “Oh,” he says, eyebrows lifting into his bangs, and that settles it for Taemin. He slides to the left, sides to the right, takes it back, and doesn’t even stay for the final cha cha like he usually does. Instead, he closes his hand around Jonghyun’s wrist and tugs him gently through the crowd.
“C’mere,” he mumbles, weaving carefully through everyone until they can get back out onto the outer rink.
“Hmm?” Jonghyun asks, glancing back in. “Is the song over?” he asks.
“It’s ending,” Taemin says. He gestures vaguely to the middle where more people are breaking away now as the song fades out into just the regular beat and little ending words from the DJ. Taemin usually stays in the middle for a while after the Cha Cha slide, actually, spinning and jamming and joining the little circles of people to practise some of his bigger tricks. He’s skipping that this time, though, because he has something else on his mind. “I wanna show you somewhere,” he tells Jonghyun.
“Somewhere?” Jonghyun asks as they skate to the wall and slip out one of the entrances. “Not something?” Taemin glances back at him with a grin and nods. Yeah. Somewhere.
“This way,” he says. He pulls Jonghyun over the tacky patterned carpet, passed the benches, and almost passed the arcade machines, all the way to the wall of the party rooms. Jonghyun tries to keep going, passed the party rooms and into the rental area, but Taemin stops him by squeezing his hand.
“Here,” he says, trying not to smile too wide at Jonghyun’s confused expression as he pulls him towards the last arcade machine instead. Again Jonghyun looks it over, reads the title--it’s the X-Men game, Taemin thinks--and reaches halfheartedly for one of the joysticks, but Taemin tugs him a little bit to the side so he can see the space between the game and the wall. “In here,” he says. He bites his lip as he takes both of Jonghyun’s hands and rolls himself backwards into the small space, too narrow to fit side by side but just wide enough that they can fit comfortably in without being squished. Taemin goes all the way back until his back bumps the wall and Jonghyun is standing in front of him looking even more confused than before.
“Taems, what the fuck,” Jonghyun says blankly. He’s squinting a little at Taemin in the darkness of their tiny corner, thick lips puffed up in a pout. Taemin smiles innocently and slides one hand up Jonghyun’s arm and over his shoulder.
“This is where the teenagers come to make out where no one can see them,” he says slyly. He’s honestly amazed that there wasn’t a couple squished down here already. He must be lucky today.
“Ew,” Jonghyun mumbles, scrunching his nose. “Why the fuck are we here then?” he asks. He frowns at Taemin, completely serious, and Taemin barely refrains from bursting into ugly laughter. Fuck. He looks down and muffles giggles into the back of his hand and then pulls the corners of his lips down to sober himself up. Then looks quickly back up and decides to just be forward instead of trying to give Jonghyun another hint.
“So we can make out where no one can see us,” he says simply.
“So we--ohhh,” Jonghyun says slowly. His eyes go wide with realization, and then a slow smirk pulls up his lips. “Oh.” He takes a step closer, lifting one arm to rest his forearm on the wall beside Taemin’s head so they’re face to face. He chuckles softly and shakes his head. “No idea how I didn’t catch on to that,” he hums. Taemin exhales softly in amusement.
“Same,” he says, “but. Not important.” He tugs Jonghyun closer, hooks his arm over his shoulder, slides his other hand up Jonghyun’s neck and fluffs his fingers through his soft hair. “What’s important is that you’re about to make out with me.” His mouth looks so nice, soft and pink and absolutely gorgeous when he smiles and forms words.
“Good point,” Jonghyun says. He slips his arm around Taemin’s waist and presses their mouths together easily.
~
Jonghyun doesn’t like to exaggerate and use unnecessary flowery language a lot, but he’s lost in Taemin’s lips. He’s lost in their warmth, their softness, the easy way that they move against his. He’s lost in the way Taemin’s tongue slides against his and tastes like a strawberry icee, the way Taemin’s teeth nip and tug at his lips. He’s lost in the way Taemin’s slow breaths puff over his upper lip, in the way his hands run through the hair at the back of his head, in the way his body is warm and solid pressed up against his. Each slow press, each soft peck, each deep, warm, languid slide of their lips feels perfect, like they were meant to be together, like he was meant to kiss Taemin from the moment he was born.
To put it simply.
He might be overexaggerating a little bit, but he just. Really likes kissing and Taemin is really good at it. He wants to keep kissing Taemin for a long time. He doesn’t know how long they’ve spent tucked into the corner like this and he doesn’t care much either.
They’re pressed together fully now and his fingers have been playing with the hem of Taemin’s shirt for a while, pushing it up just enough to slip his thumbs under and rub his skin. Taemin has been casually pressing his leg up between Jonghyun’s thighs as well for the passed few minutes. It’s making him feel very fluffy inside that Taemin is also into the whole subtle flirty almost feeling each other up shit. He knows they’re not trying to fuck here in the middle of the rink, but still. It’s the concept. It’s the mutual knowledge that they’d both totes be down to fuck somewhere else, probably, another time. He’s very into that.
He’s also very into the way Taemin’s hands have come down to cup his face, warm and strong and commanding in the way they angle him better into the kiss. Jonghyun loves the subtle control. He loves how Taemin has been able to read him so easily and figure out what he likes so quickly. He loves that--
“Ow,” he hisses suddenly, wincing away from the kiss as something pings off of the back of his head. “What the fuck,” he mutters, lifting a hand to rub his hair. For the first time since they started making out back here he opens his eyes and blearily blinks the skate rink into focus. Even here squished into the corner behind an arcade machine is too dark, but he turns away from Taemin’s confused pout to look behind him.
“Can you two go be mushy somewhere else? I’m trying to play a game here.”
Jonghyun still can’t really see much with his bleary eyes but he knows that voice and he sighs.
“You can’t even see us back here unless you're trying, Gwibs,” he calls back.
“Actually, you kinda can,” Taemin mumbles. Jonghyun looks back to him with a little frown and Taemin shrugs sheepishly. “It’s not private, just, you know, no one ever really glances down here, so.” He shrugs again. Jonghyun rolls his eyes. He guesses he knew that from the beginning, but still.
“Get out of there and gimmie my quarter back,” Gwi tells them.
“Is that what you threw at me?” Jonghyun asks, frowning down at the ground in search of the little circle. Taemin snorts and giggles and ruffles a hand through the hair at the back of Jonghyun’s head. Jonghyun isn’t ashamed to say that that fond little gesture made him significantly less grumpy. He reaches down and picks up the quarter, but when he rolls out of the little not-so-secret area with Taemin clinging lazily to his elbow, he holds it out of Gwiboon’s reach.
“What are you playing?” he asks, pushing her hands away gently as she reaches for it. He puts it into the coin slot next to the one she was standing in front of and smirks when she scowls at him. “Can I fight you in it? I’m gonna fight you in it.”
“No, you heck,” she snaps, “it’s a co-op game. Now you gotta help me win.” She pulls out another quarter from her pocket and puts it into the machine.
“Oh,” Jonghyun says. He puffs up his lips as he actually looks at the game. Apparently he’s The Wolverine. Rad. That’s his favorite dick sucking X-Man. “Alright, then,” he says. He guesses he’s doing this now. On his other side, Taemin snorts and leans his cheek on his shoulder.
“Have you ever played this game in your life?” he asks. Jonghyun grins and shakes his head as he pokes the two buttons in front of him to figure out which does what. He’s sure he’ll figure it out and do relatively well no problem.
“Nope,” he says. Taemin snorts again and shifts to stand more behind him.
“Lemme help you then,” he says. He wraps his arms around Jonghyun’s waist, fits his chin over his right shoulder, and lifts his left hand to cover Jonghyun’s on the joystick, all in one smooth motion.
“Oh my fucking god,” Jonghyun whispers. He knows he was just sucking on Taemin’s tongue with his hand halfway up his shirt in a dark corner, and he knows that that was extremely cheesy and will probably make him even worse at the game, but his heart still thuds and his face still blazes with heat as Taemin’s other arm squeezes him close. “What the fuck, what the fuck. What the fuck.” He’s so weak for that snuggly shit.
“One day I’m gonna grow up and get a cute enby datefriend and make out with them, like, on top of you two, just so you know what this feels like,” Gwiboon mutters. “Didn’t you just meet like three hours ago?”
Jonghyun opens his mouth to tell her it was more like three and a half, but Taemin drops a kissie on his cheek and he forgets what he wanted to say.
~
Jonghyun is tired.
He’s trying to pretend like he’s not, but Taemin can tell, and it’s absolutely adorable to watch the way he slouches over the table and pokes at Jinki’s arm to cover for how he can barely sit up straight. Taemin is sure he’s not helping in the way he’s leaning lazily on Jonghyun’s side, but Jonghyun is the one that slung his other arm around Taemin’s waist and Taemin doesn’t see him complaining, so. He’s not moving.
He is giggling, though, as quietly as he can, at how Jonghyun badly muffles a yawn into his powerade bottle. Sleepy bub. It’s barely even eight--though, Taemin guesses, Jonghyun has been here since, like, one for speed practise. He would be tired too. He wonders how Jinki and the kids aren't exhausted right now since they’ve been here since nine for Minjunggie’s practise, but he supposes that they’re used to it by now.
Jonghyun’s arm around his waist squeezes him close, tugging him out of his thoughts. He hums a questioning little noise as Jonghyun nuzzles the side of his head.
“You’re cute,” he mumbles, and a grin immediately creeps onto Taemin’s face. Oh, he thinks.
“Oh,” he says. “Thanks.” He drops a little kissie on Jonghyun’s cheek, something he’s becoming incredibly fond of doing. “You too.” Jonghyun smiles back at that, eyes all droopy, and presses a quick kiss to Taemin’s bottom lip, something Taemin can tell Jonghyun is becoming incredibly fond of doing.
“Y’all better thank me for this cute shit you have going on right now,” Jinki mumbles from the other side of the table. Taemin looks over to him to see him scrolling through his phone, not looking at them but pointing at them with one finger. “I’m the one that convinced Jong to stay today.”
“Technically, it was Jungs,” Jonghyun says. He rubs his cheek on Taemin’s shoulder after he says it and Taemin paps his leg, curious.
“Was it really?” he asks. He’s been wondering this whole time why Jonghyun stayed, ever since he learned that he was on the speed team. Jonghyun nods against his shoulder.
“She bribed me with stories of the glowstick skate,” he says. Taemin snorts softly and hides another laugh behind his hand. Of course she did.
“I love Jungie,” he says.
“Hey, rad,” Junghee’s voice says, and they all glance up to see Junghee skating up to lean at the end of the table. She’s got that wide smile on her face that she gets whenever anyone compliments her. “I love that you love me,” she winks. Jonghyun’s sleepy chuckles against Taemin’s shirt are entirely adorable, which just adds to how much he loves Junghee for being the one that caused them. “Anyway, can I get another cookie, my dude?” she asks, turning to Jinki. Jinki ignores her for a moment to finish something on his phone before looking up and poking her cheek.
“No, you’ve already had three,” he says. “I saw the one you tried to sneak earlier.” Junghee hisses a soft curse and Taemin hides a grin. He gave her the money for that secret cookie. “Go get Gwi and Min, it’s time to go home,” Jinki says.
“Oh,” Junghee says. Her face falls into a little pout. “Are you sure?” she asks. Jinki rolls his eyes.
“Yes, it’s late and you have school tomorrow. Go.” He makes little flappy hands at her and she sighs dramatically, pushing away from the table and skating away. Jinki watches her go, then yawns into the back of his hand and looks at his phone again. “I saw you give her the money for that cookie, Tae,” he says quietly. Taemin chokes a little on his spit and turns into Jonghyun’s shoulder to muffle his guilty laughter. Fuck. He thought he was smooth. Jonghyun paps his side, leans a little away, gets his finger under Taemin’s chin when he looks up curiously and pecks his lips.
“Want me to walk you to your car?” he asks, low and suave and confident. Taemin tilts his head, confused.
“Uh,” he says, “why?” And Jonghyun tilts his head now also, mirroring his confusion.
“Because. It’s.” He points at Jinki, points out to the arcade area where Junghee is no doubt tugging Gwiboon away from a game. “Time to go?” He says it like a question, like he was sure of the answer a second ago but isn’t anymore. Taemin gasps softly in realization, then giggles and shakes his head.
“I mean, for them, maybe,” he says, gesturing lazily at Jinki. “I stay here until, like, eleven.” The only reason Jinki and the girls go home early is because the girls are small and have to go to school and shit. They stay later during the summer, sometimes. Taemin stays late all the time.
“Oh,” Jonghyun says. Pink dusts his cheeks and he looks away. “Right, yeah, okay.” He takes another drink of his powerade and looks back with his usual wide smile. “I bet it gets real fun here when it gets late,” he says. Taemin leans his elbow on the table and props his chin in his hand, surveying Jonghyun lazily. He’s so cute when he thinks he’s lying well.
“Did you want me to go home now so you could make out with me in the parking lot and then go home too because you’re all sleepy?” he asks. The pink that hadn’t quite left Jonghyun’s cheeks yet darkens and he turns away again to rest his head in his arms on the table.
“No,” he says. His voice is a defiant pout and Taemin snorts. Jinki does too, and reaches over to poke Jonghyun’s nose.
“Don’t lie to the babe, Jong, you’ve only just met him,” he says. Jonghyun huffs and scrunches his nose.
“Who asked you,” he grumbles. Taemin paps his bicep absently and is opening his mouth to say that he wouldn’t mind escorting Jonghyun to his car before coming back inside when Minjung rolls up and sits next to Jinki, tugging at the hair in her tiny ponytail to fix it up even.
“Hi daddy,” she says, and then puts her whole hand on top of Jonghyun’s head. “What’s he pouty about this time?” she asks. Jonghyun takes her wrist and pretends to bite her finger before letting it go and returning to his pouting. Taemin pets his hair fondly and scratches at the base of his undercut because he discovered while they were making out that it makes him get all scrunchy and smiley. It does the same thing now; Jonghyun’s shoulders bunch all up and he hums a soft little smile into his arms.
“He’s a sleepy baby and he’s grumpy that I’m not,” he says. Jonghyun’s happy noise turns into a pouty noise again and Taemin rolls his eyes.
“Where’s the other two?” Jinki asks Minjung. Minjung shrugs as she brings her feet up on the bench to pull off her skates.
“Some fuckboy said girls weren’t good at games so they had to play him first, to beat him,” she says. Taemin feels Jonghyun nodding under his hand and agrees as well. That’s a good enough excuse to stay a few more minutes.
“Can you, like, not say the fuck word on a regular basis around me?” Jinki asks. “Like Gwi does?”
“You know Boonie says the fuck word like, every three words when you can’t hear,” Minjung tells him.
“Yeah, when I can’t hear,” Jinki repeats. “That way I can pretend she doesn’t say it.”
“It’s not even a slur, daddy, it’s just the fuck word. Who cares?”
“Teachers? If you’re saying it as a habit then you’re gonna accidentally say it at school one time and then I’m gonna get in trouble and I won’t even be able to truthfully say that I don’t normally hear you use that kind of language.”
“I guess I’ll just have to be extra careful to not call Mr. Fuckhead that to his face, then.”
“Oh my fucking god,” Jinki mutters, and Taemin leans over Jonghyun’s back to muffle his laughter into his shirt. Jonghyun shakes with repressed laughter under him as well. His skin is warm, so Taemin shifts closer, slipping his hands around to feel up Jonghyun’s shoulders and biceps before looping them around his waist. He smells good too, like citrus and wood, and Taemin nuzzles into the back of his neck. Very suddenly he wants to snuggle Jonghyun just like this forever and never let him go.
“You’re so comfy,” he murmurs against Jonghyun’s skin. Jonghyun’s hand paps his thigh gratefully.
“Thanks,” he says. His voice is even sleepier than before; Taemin thinks sitting with his head on the table made his lack of energy even more pronounced. “Can you walk me to the bus stop and make out with me a little bit so I can go home?” he asks. Taemin smiles against his neck and drops a little kissie there. He can do that, yeah.
~
Jonghyun is bone tired when he finally slouches into bed, but he smiles as he nuzzles his soft cool pillows and wiggles under his blankie. Today was good. And fun. And relaxing. And tiring, which would normally be bad, but his insomnia has been making his sleep schedule a little extra fucky lately and being drained enough to conk out early tonight should help towards fixing it.
He flicks on his bedside lamp, takes a sip from his water bottle, and grabs his leftover fries from when he stopped at Jack in the Box on the walk home. Nibbling on one, he plugs his phone into his charger and then relaxes into the bed as he unlocks it with a contented sigh.
The first notification that he has is a text from Taemin.
He drops his phone to his chest and hides his face in his hands, smile wide behind his fingers and pushing up his cheeks. Fuck. He knows he told Taemin to text him after they finished making out at the bus stop, but, fuck. He’s so gay. He loves when people actually text him back on the same night instead of waiting. Picking up his phone, he bites his lip as he reads the message.
From: Sk8r Boi 9:30pm so hey u like me right lmao just checking
Jonghyun snorts at the text. That’s cute. He likes the honesty.
To: Sk8r Boi 9:50pm Ye i like you lots uwu
From: Sk8r Boi 9:51pm alright rad so when do i get to see u again :D
“Oh my god,” Jonghyun giggles. That’s so cute--the smiley, the immediate reply, the eagerness. Jonghyun imagines Taemin feeling his phone vibrate on the rink and slowing to a stop in the middle to pull it out. He tugs his blankie further up and thinks about his week’s schedule. Hmm.
To: Sk8r Boi 9:54pm Skate practises are sundays tuesdays and thursdays but i also have therapy every other thursday so
He hits send and brings his phone to his mouth to cover his yawn. He hopes he hasn’t forgotten anything about his schedule. His memory isn't so great when he’s sleepy. He closes his eyes to rest them while he waits for Taemin’s reply, then jumps a little when his phone vibrates in his hand. A grin pulls up his lips as he opens the new text. Minjung told him that Taemin always takes forever to reply to her texts. He feels special.
From: Sk8r Boi: 9:56pm well i’m not showing up on a tuesday lmao so next sunday then??
Next Sunday. Jonghyun hums sleepily and rolls over in bed, resting his head in his arms and holding his phone probably too close to his face to be healthy. Next Sunday sounds nice. They could probably set a date to meet up somewhere else even earlier--Jonghyun knows they would both be down for it--but he feels like the wait will make their reunion that much nicer. Maybe in another few Sundays when they know each other more they can go out for dinner or something.
For now, Jonghyun sends Taemin back a thumbs up emoji, a blushie emoji, and a sleepy emoji. Then he slips his phone onto the bedside table and flicks off his lamp. As he hugs his pillow under his chin, memories of Taemin’s warm hands, his deep voice, his pretty face under soft colorful lights fill his mind and he drifts to sleep with a smile in his heart.
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eeee-lye · 8 years
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You make some very valid points! This is not something I’ve fixated on, but it is definitely something I’ve noticed. There are great online communities of autistic and neurodiverse people. But also niches and really specific language and memes evolving that seem like they are part of an ingroup/outgroup dynamic. You may not relate to this at all, but what you say makes me think of how alienated I feel by how stimming and the way people talk about it seems to have become a very concrete thing.
Like “my stims are flapping my hands when I’m happy and stomping my feet”. And I am like ??? What do I do when I’m happy, what do I do when I’m sad, tired, cold, just feel like moving my hands? A million different stimmy behaviours, so this way people nail them down and describe them, argh, it confuses me. Sorry if this is completely not related to your post.
And also all due respect to people being able to express themselves however they want. *nod*
@pink-rainbow-sparkles commented on my this autistic doesn’t get that meme post and I thought this deserved a response not buried in the comments of the other. Not so much for my rambling below, but because I think alienation, and all the different varieties of it, needs to be talked about (and it is spoken well above). If it isn’t spoken and seen, people don’t know, and being aware of how much memes/language/discussion points can exclude is as important as celebrating how they include. The community is for all of us, right? That means it’s for those of us who connect to a thing and those of us who don’t, and all our voices, experiences and feelings are important.
And now I’m going to express sympathy and connection by talking about my similar experiences. (I don’t understand why allistics get so bothered by this, but that’s another point entirely.)
Because I don’t have much in the way of defined bodily awareness of how I move. I think I have more than you describe, but not a great deal. (In fact, the biggest problem I have with the pain clinic treating me is that I have low bodily awareness full stop. I have a little more awareness of what my emotions even are than I did last year, but that’s only a little and that’s after eight months of therapy.) I flap my hands, sometimes, when I’m happy. I also flap them, I believe, when I’m annoyed, frustrated, can’t speak, want someone to shut up, bored, just can’t stand standing still and probably have a hundred other emotions and feelings I don’t know about. But I don’t think of it as a stim as much as something I do, unconsciously. It’s how I move. My flappy hands aren’t happy ... they’re just autistic.
Then there’s ... tapping my feet, rocking, twisting, kicking, banging my knee against the wall, pulling at my hair, picking the sore on my face ... oh, is the way I thud my ankle against my chest of drawers a stim? Or swinging my arms as I walk? Probably?
I consider my stim toys to be stims, because they’re often purposeful (a tangle in my hands means I don’t have to sit with my hands under my legs trying to hold still in case I betray a lifetime’s teaching on not moving*) and hence distinct in that way, but everything else is a random jumble of movement, some I do regularly, some I do occasionally, all of it done for various and inconsistent feelings and needs that I’m not wholly aware of (if aware of at all).
(* I’m late-diagnosed. I have experienced verbal and physical abuse for the crime of ... moving in ways allistics deem inappropriate. So relearning how to move, naturally, was and still is a big thing for me.)
So I don’t really get the ability to classify stims, because I can’t classify my stims that way. Even my tangle ... sometimes it’s happy stimming, sometimes it’s bored stimming, sometimes it’s overwhelmed stimming. Oh, I’ve pulled my tangle apart five times in three minutes? That means I’m upset, right? Oh, wait, I think I’m just bored. Bored and upset? Maybe? Ye gods, how is it that other people understand their emotions and the physical feelings attached to them?
I think we all feel alienated in different ways by certain things the community has taken on as a point of pride in our dialogue. This pride is absolutely needed, but I think we need to talk about that alienation, too. Because it’s as right to feel and express pride in happy flappy stimmy hands as themselves expression of happiness/positive emotion as is to express that I look at my hands and have no idea what emotion is associated with that movement, or feelings of doubt if one even flaps, or no awareness of what one’s stims are ... or the fact that one just doesn’t flap.
But thank you for the comments, because I really appreciated the opportunity to talk about my physical stimming!
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