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#oh no!!!
mirage-daily · 2 months
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DRAW HER GETTING SQUISHED LIKE A PLUSHBIE.,.,..,
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day 80
RELEAse meeee!!!!!!!!
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dailywillwood · 2 months
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tthere's a singer i think you'd really like. His name is Will Wood. Be careful tho, he has tapeworms
Oh no! Tapeworms??? 😰😰😰. I bet he was a land pirate at some point wasn't he :///
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daily-sans-es · 8 months
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sans #94
sans tripped this time!
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ask-the-temple-fox · 6 days
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Hi Aubrey!
Sarah here. I'm, uh, still recovering, but I'm glad to see you're doing well <3
@midnight-maria
Oh??? Recovering? Um! Wait, I'll make you a fruit basket and visit you. Does that sound good?
What fruits do you like?
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rawliverandgoronspice · 4 months
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why am I so obsessed with oot impa's face I have drawn it about a bajillion times now and I'm still so bewitched
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Fool’s Piss?!? Deuce Dump?? Nodus Secundus?? ORANGE BAZOO???? Stinky lakeside.
I love ALL of these so much I want to know them all. 
Sage’s Piss and Fool’s Piss. Sand bodies!!! Yellow sand rivers!!!
There are Sand Falls!!!
The knights fist looks like a fist!!! 
Stinky Lakeside by the Sage’s Vomit.
Bone Orchard could be a big graveyard!
Calamity J just sounds like a guy.
I must know why they’re called Desert Canary, Squinny Coffin, and Orange Bazoo!!!
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fwizard · 1 year
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oh no. they gave me tumblr live
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unknown-is-aaaa · 6 months
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[ ow's it going
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Thought on TZP and redacted’s age gap?
it's hot.
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strebcr · 4 months
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"That asshole shouldn't be in charge of a houseplant, MUCH LESS A WHOLE ASS FORKLIFT!!"
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rattlinbog · 4 months
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RANDALL NOOOOOOOO
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masonjarcollector · 4 months
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I FORGOT TO TAKE MY MEDS TODAYYYY
CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ONLY TUEEEESSSDAYYYYY
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doomfox · 2 years
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Goodman/Kessler. For Hire.
David Kessler tried to ignore his friend. He really tried. But Jack Goodman was nothing if not persistent, throwing his arms wide and grinning like an idiot as they walked side-by-side.
“Ah! You smell that Davy?” Jack cackled, rearing back his head and wearing an idiotic smile across his fresh young face, “you smell that in the air?? Know what that is??”
“What, Jack.”
“That’s LIFE my friend! Don’t it smell good??”
“No.”
“ahh, come on Davy-boy!” Jack gave David a hopeless look as they walked. “What the heck’s wrong with ya? you got worms or something?”
David gave his buddy a glare and accelerated his pace. “What do you think, Jack?” He growled, shooting his best friend an accusing glare, “you have any idea how cold it is??”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Ah, come on! You were ready for a trim.”
“It’s degrading!” David snapped, “I hate everything about it!”
“Well tell ya what,” Jack retorted, “next year I’ll leave you to it and you can overheat. And sleep outside because boy, you are NOT shedding all over the trailer.” Jack dived into his pocket, producing a handful of notes as he lowered to David’s level. “Take a look at this, davy-boy! one thousand dollars for a few days’ work! And half of that’s yours, buddy boy!”
David scowled at Jack, his buddy blocking his path. “Jack. Look at me.” David raised a hairy paw, gesturing to himself best he was able. “I’m a big fucking dog. What in fuck’s name am I supposed to do with money??”
Jack groaned, standing and shoving the cash back into his jacket pockets. “Christ David, you’re a hell of a buzzkill when you’re in a mood.” The two friends continued on their way, heading through the small town of Eagle’s Grove, where they had been living for the last year. They rarely went without the other, and were a local oddity, but the boys had managed to scrape a living doing odd jobs. Or, on the record at least, Jack had. Jack Goodman, and his strange dog, David. “Come on, bud! We are in the money! Let’s go get hammered, huh? You wanna go have some fun?”
“I guess...” David gave up, plodding along on all fours, the night’s breeze wafting over the light fuzz that had been left of his usual thick black coat, “at least I’ll be warm. But first round’s on you!”
“O’ course, buddy!” Jack gave David a quick ruffle over the head, “let’s celebrate our pay day!”
...
The two boys finally made their way to the local tavern, Jack pausing at the door to regard David. “Alright buddy, you know the drill. Time for the Dog Act.”
“Yeah yeah...” David grumbled resignedly, yellow eyes scanning the tavern door. Music quietly sounded inside, some kind of Country-rock. “I get it. But don’t ignore me this time! Gets lonely without anyone to talk to.”
Jack grimaced. “I’ll do my best, bud. But y’know, people think it’s a little odd when the handsome guy from New York starts chatting with his dog.”
“I’m flattered.” David nodded at the door. “Come on Goodman. Open up.”
Jack scoffed. “Of course, your Davidness...” Jack reached out and turned the knob, giving David a mock-curtsey. “After you, Fido!”
David nudged his buddy as he passed, Jack complaining as he was ‘accidentally’ knocked into the doorframe, and entered the warm, cosy interior of the small tavern.
People stared. They always did. It was five years since the full moon, David’s one and only transformation in his parents’ home in New York, and David was not quite the ferocious perpetually angry monster he’d almost become. He could be perfectly vicious and terrifying when he wanted, but when relaxed, teeth mostly hidden beneath his chops and expression at rest, he passed as a big weird wolfish hound. Just. He mooched through the tavern, followed closely by Jack, curious eyes following him as he headed for the bar.
“Mister Goodman! Good evening, son!” The tender, Carl, greeted Jack with a crooked-toothed grin as the man approached. Old eyes lowered from a wrinkled face, the bearded man now regarding David. “Hello there, David! You good there, big fella?”
“Hey Carl!” Jack grinned, joining David at the bar as his werewolf friend reared up to rest his paws against the wood, “don’t mind Davy-boy. He’s a little grouchy cuz’ he had his haircut today, ain’t ya boy?”
“Don’t push it, Goodman.” David released a grunt as Jack reached out to scratch at his back, remembering to maintain his ‘dog act’.
“So I see!” Carl chuckled, reaching behind the bar to retrieve something. “Well, I think I got a little somethin’ to cheer this big fella up!” He retrieved a tub of dried meats. “Here y’are, boy! Get that down ye!” A suddenly interested David sniffed at the treat, gently plucking it from the man’s fingers and scarfing it down.
Jack grinned. “Good boy! Very good boy!” David swore at him internally, and the man chuckled as he retrieved some notes from his coat. “Alright, Carl. Gimme a beer, and a dish o’ water for the dog.
Yellow eyes snapped to glare at him. “WHAT”
“Just kidding!” Jack grinned mischievously, enjoying David’s sudden consternation. “Usual for Davy-boy Carl.”
Carl nodded, pouring Jack’s drink and retrieving a metal dish from beneath the counter. “Never seen a hound drink like this’un. Damn peculiar, ain’t ya boy?”
“Yeah, that’s David all over.” Jack took his drink and David’s dish, “cheers Carl. C’mon David.” Jack clucked his tongue, David took another slice of jerky from the tender, and plopped to the floor to follow his buddy to a quiet corner. Jack set his dish down on the carpet. “There you go, bud. Enjoy.”
“You love this whole ‘dog thing’, don’t you?” David gave him a look, scowling tiredly at the man. “You get a kick out of demeaning me??”
Jack shrugged, raising his glass to his lips. “Always wanted a dog when I was little. You should be honoured, Davy!”
“Jack, have you ever considered not having a face?” David lapped at his beer, froth dribbling down his chin as he licked his lips. “Maybe shedding a few fingers?”
Jack gave him a strained grin as more men approached. “Doggy act, David!” David scanned around, ears raised as he recognised the men. “Hey, Art!” Jack raised his glass, greeting the passing men. “How’s the chickens?”
“Very good, Jack!” One of the men, a big rotund fellow with a flushed red face, beamed back with broken teeth. “Your boy there’s done a grand job keepin’ the varmints away!”
“Pest control is the big guy’s specialty!” Jack replied, leaning down to scratch David’s neck. “Don’t suppose you feel like loaning him for a couple days?”
“You’re doing what now??”
Jack cackled to himself as David shot him a startled look. The big farmer, Art, set his hands on his hips. “Nah, boy! Couldn’t separate a man from his hound.”
“Very kind of you, Art!” Jack judged his buddy with a boot, David grunting irritably as the contact. “David thanks you!”
“David says ‘get your foot off of me or lose it, Goodman’.” Art lowered and gave the big werewolf a scratch, before bidding jack a good night and heading off with his buddy. Jack took a slurp of his beer, David frowning into his own. “Do you enjoy degrading and annoying me, Jack?”
“Ah, get over yourself.” Jack wiped his mouth on the back of a hand. “I wouldn’t sell ya. Wouldn’t get much anyway, ya big throw rug.”
“Wow. Gee, thanks.” David grumbled, unimpressed “I’m honoured.”
Jack grinned, tapping his boot against David’s back. “That’s right, you’re a good boy!” He cackled to himself, lowering to scratch at David’s neck. “A very good boy!”
“STOP DOING THAT!! I AM NOT YOUR FREAKING PET!!!”
“Oh hey!” Jack stopped, suddenly uninterested in annoying his buddy, “take a look, David. Feast your eyes on that!”
David scowled at his friend and looked to investigate what had caught Jack’s attention. He paused. A pair of very attractive girls, apparent strangers, had entered the tavern and Jack was almost salivating as he grinned to his buddy. “Phew,” he whistled, leaning down to whisper to his friend, “fine piece o’ work, huh? Couple o’ firecrackers right there!”
“.. Jack, don’t you dare.”
“Dare what?”
“Fuck off and leave me alone to watch YOU hit on some girls!” David gave his buddy a pointed glare, very aware of his own inability to garner female attention, “I’m not dealing with that crap again, Jack! It’s not fair!”
“Sorry buddy...” Jack finished up his drink and stood from the table, “man’s gotta do what a man’ gotta do...”
“Jack. Jack?” David watched his buddy leave the table, striding across the bar to get to work, “Jack! You asshole, don’t ignore me! JACK!!!” David glared at his friend, scowling as he lowered himself to the floor to sulk. “Asshole.”
...
“So!” Carl wiped a glass, approaching the girls to fix their orders, “what can I get for you fine ladies?”
“I’ll handle it, Carl...” Jack spoke confidently, striding over to join the girls before they could make a sound. The fresh-faced young man beamed, leaning on the bar with the other hand on his hip. “Whatever they want. On me.” The girls grinned to one another as Carl took their orders, looking over Jack with interest. “So!” He said smoothly, sliding a fresh beer across the bar as Carl fixed their drinks, “you girls have names?”
“I’m Tracy!” The dark-haired girl offered, reaching out painted nails with a grin.
“Anna!” The other did the same, swishing her long blonde hair across a shoulder.
“Tracy! Anna!” Jack shook their hands, grinning like an idiot, “lovely names for lovely ladies! Name’s Goodman. Jack Goodman.”
“So, mister Goodman...” Tracy said, blue eyes flashing as she sipped at her drink, “what is it you do around here?”
Jack shrugged. “Ah, bit of this, bit of that... my buddy and I are kinda the ‘odd-job guys’ round here!”
“You have a friend??” Anna seemed VERY interested in this, eyes gleaming as they scanned the bar, “where is he?”
Jack smacked his forehead. “Oh, uh... he’s around. Hey, I’ll get him for ya! David??” Jack clucked his tongue, leaning against the bar as he looked back to the table. “Come here, big guy!” The girls waited expectantly, Jack beginning to feel like an idiot as David apparently decided not to show. “Don’t mind him, he’s just shy! DAVID! Come here, boy!”
The girls frowned, watching and waiting... and released simultaneous gasps, startled as a black-furred head appeared, David loping around the table to resignedly see what Jack wanted.
Jack grinned. “There he is! Hey Davy-boy! Come say hello to the ladies!”
David briefly scanned between the girls, giving Jack a very unimpressed look as he plopped his butt on the floor. “You gonna get my drink or what, Goodman.”
Jack declined to indulge his friend’s silent request, lowering to pat David squarely on the back. “Tracy? Anna? Meet my good buddy David.”
“Oh my God!” Anna raised a hand to her mouth, the two girls gawking at the big strange wolflike creature.
“What on Earth IS he??” Tracy regarded the werewolf with astonishment, David remaining silent as he continued with his dog act.
“Kesslerian Wolfhound!” Jack replied smoothly, continuing to scratch his buddy’s back, “very rare breed! Don’t worry...” He winked, both hands clapping on hairy shoulders, “he might look scary, but he’s very friendly!”
Anna cooed in fascination, lowering to tentatively reach out a hand. “Can I...?”
Jack grinned. “Go ahead! He don’t bite!”
“Jack I WILL kill you,” David silently seethed, resisting the urge to glower at his friend, “are you doing this to piss me off or what??”
“Hey, easy...” David hissed in his ear, clutching the big wolf’s scruff, “I’m gettin’ ya some attention! C’mon, give ‘em those big ol’ eyes! Give that stubby tail a shake! Girls love dogs!”
“Awww...” He’s so SOFT!!” Jack moved aside, allowing Anna to run her hands over David’s freshly-trimmed coat, “hey, big guy! You a good boy, huh?”
“This is the most degrading experience of- oh SHIT this girl got hands”
“Enjoy yourself,” Jack smirked as David flopped to the ground with a happy rumble, content to allow Anna to fuss him some more. “See? He’s a big softie.”
Tracy looked over the big werewolf incredulously, like she wasn’t quite sure what she was looking at. “That is one strange dog, if you don’t mind me saying so...”
Jack shrugged. “It’s a strange breed. But hey!” He raised his beer and winked, “he gets the job done! Been my best buddy for- uh, five years!”
She folded her arms, raising an eyebrow as she listened. “That so?”
“Yup!” Jack gestured to the floor, amused as David capsized to allow a grinning Anna to rub at his stomach, “boy’s like a brother to me. Been through everything together.”
“You make him sound like a person,” the dark haired woman said, voice tinged with curiosity. “Like he’s a human being.”
Jack scoffed, rubbing the back of his head and laughing. “Yeah... I guess I just love the big lug like that, right?”
“Oh my gosh!” Before Tracy could respond Anna gasped from below. They looked down to find the blonde woman running her hands over David’s chest, parting the thicker fur that remained there, “what happened to him?”
Jack frowned, David staring pleadingly as Anna felt at the scars... the thick, long-healed scars from that attack on the moors five years earlier.
“He got into a fight with... another dog,” Jack said quietly, hoping the questions would go no further.
“Oh, poor boy... wait...” Jack felt a stab of fear as Anna dug around his buddy’s chest, noting David tensing up as he lay on his back, “what are... what...” Anna reared back in confusion, screwing her face as she rubbed at David’s pectorals. “Are... are these his nipples??”
“Oh fuck,” David whimpered, now attempting to wriggle away from his company. “Jack, get her off me... I wanna go home now...”
“Alright!” Jack spoke loudly, knocking back his drink and setting the glass on the bar. “Lovely to meet you ladies, but David and I gotta shoot.”
“So soon?” Tracy frowned, Anna standing and staring down at David as he righted himself and stayed low.
“Yup! Busy day tomorrow! Very busy!” Jack grinned nervously, voice strained as he grabbed David’s scruff. “And Davy needs his dinner! You’re a hungry boy, ain’t ya buddy??”
“Alright, maybe see you around...” Anna said, still frowning at the werewolf.
“Yes, you and your weird dog with his nipples on his chest...” Tracy muttered, eyeing David with suspicion.
David’s response was to hang his head, all but cowering beneath the girls’ scrutiny. “Alright Davy-boy! Come on!” Jack clucked his tongue, giving the girls a casual two-fingered salute. “Later, girls!”
The two girls watched Jack nudge David on their way, yellow eyes glancing back at them from a black-furred face. Jack and his dog left, the door closing shut behind them.
Anna hissed, turning her attention to her friend. “What kind of dog WAS that?? I’ve never seen anything like it!”
“I don’t know...” Tracy said quietly, staring at the door as she leaned against the bar, “but I don’t think he’s quite... normal.”
“You girls’d be wise to leave those two alone.” Tracy and Anna turned to find the bartender, Carl, accompanying them in their appraisal of the tavern door. A grim expression occupied the man’s face, his hands spread as he leaned to speak to them quietly. “The dog. David. He ain’t any ordinary beast.”
The girls glanced to one another, leaning closer to the old man. “What do you mean?” Anna whispered, “what is he?”
The man cocked his head with a shrug. “Can’t rightly say... but when they showed up ‘bout a year back, people round here knew that creature weren’t anythin’ natural.” He scratched at his beard. “But they settled in, made ‘emselves useful, an’ people were happy ter let ‘em be. Never hurt a soul, far as I’m aware.”
Tracy frowned. “Then why do you say we should stay away? Is the... is David dangerous?”
“Oh, ‘e’s well-mannered enough. Good boy, very friendly.” He released a huff, reached out to take the girls’ now empty glasses. “But some things are jus’ best left alone. David is one of ‘em.” He sighed, giving the door another glance. “Poor boy. Whatever happened to ‘im... ain’t right.”
The girls gave one another a frightened look, and decided to move on for the night.
...
David plodded home with Jack, electing to remain silent both inwardly and outwardly. He glowered at his own front paws, ears flat, miserably tailing the man as Jack led them back to their trailer at the edge of town. Jack let himself in, stepping aside for David and allowing the perpetual werewolf to enter the hideout they called home. “Well...” Jack said, closing the door and clapping his hands, “that went well!” the young man watched as his buddy flopped onto the couch, plopping his head on a pillow. “Aw come on bud, cheer up! They can’t know anything. You’re just a big weird dog, right?”
“Yeah, that’s me all over.” David’s inner voice was bitter, dripping with sarcasm as he glowered down the length of a forelimb. “that’s David Kessler. Just a big stupid weird dog.”
“You know what I mean...” Jack passed the couch, giving David a pat on the shoulder, “you hungry buddy? You want dinner? I got pork n’ beans!”
“Oh great, pork n’ beans. Again. My favourite.”
“That’s the spirit!” Jack flicked on the small television opposite the couch, tossing the remote to his buddy. “I’ll get food goin’. You wanna beer?”
“Sure. Fuck it.”
Jack poured David a beer, setting it on the wonky table in David’s dish, and went to get dinner cooking. He hummed to himself, retrieving three cans of sausage and baked beans and emptying them into a large bowl. He chucked them in the microwave, grabbed a beer for himself, and went to accompany his friend on the couch. “Hey, come on Chewbacca. Shuffle that hairy ass a notch.” David grunted, doing as he was asked and giving Jack some space to sit, his furry black bulk still taking up most of the space. Jack snapped open his beer, resting an arm on David’s rear quarters and scratched through the buzzcut fur. “Hey, you good there buddy? Kinda quiet over there.” David grumbled wordlessly, yellow eyes glowering at the television screen. “Not what I mean, bud. Come on. Talk to me.”
David gabbled, snarling and growling in response, throat and mouth incapable of forming words.
“Don’t be an ass, Wolf-putz. I’m the only guy you can communicate with, you might as well use that.”
David’s head craned down, yellow eyes scowling at him. “You know it DOES upset me when you call me names like that?”
“Okay okay! I’m sorry!” Jack sighed, ceasing his tormenting and leaving David to sulk. “Jeez man, lighten up will ya?”
David glowered into the carpet, ignoring his dish of booze. “I’d love to, Jack. I’d really love to. But for SOME reason it’s kinda hard sometimes, you know?”
Jack stared at his friend as David flopped to the floor, huffing as he rested his chin on his forelimbs. “Sorry man... still bothers you, huh?”
“Course it does, you shmuck!” David snapped, glancing up at his buddy from his position on the couch. “Look Jack. It’s been five years. I’m mostly over it...” he worked a claw into the couch, idly picking at the material, “but sometimes I remember what I am and that I’m stuck like this and... and I can’t do anything! I gotta follow you around pretending to be a weird pet! It’s humiliating, man. And then people start figuring out what I am and... I hate it. I hate being some big, broken freak!” David paused, leaning his head out to lap at his beer, before releasing a huff and curling up. “I don’t even remember what it’s like being human any more, you know that? If I suddenly, miraculously changed back tomorrow, I don’t think I could handle it. I’m not a person any more, Jack! I lost everything...”
It wasn’t often David spilled his guts. He kept to himself, long having resigned to his new life after the boys fled New York. Eventually Jack found it in him to respond, always a little unsure how to handle these rare moments of his friend sharing his miserable thoughts. “Hey... Dave? You remember that night on the moors?”
“Oh, no. Why would I remember that?” David’s inner voice said dryly, the werewolf giving his friend a sour look. “Whatever could have happened??”
“You remember when it attacked us?” Jack gently ran his hand over David’s flank, doing what he could to soothe his buddy. “And you screamed for me to help? What did I do, David?”
David snorted. “You jumped on it and tried killing it with a flick-knife. You crazy shmuck.”
“Hey, come on! It worked, didn’t it?”
David gave him a look. “It broke your nose.”
“Still killed the bitch!”
“The guys from the Slaughtered Lamb shot it with like three double-barrels. After it broke your nose.”
“Well hey, I softened it up for them.” He lightly thumped David on a leg. “And then when we got back home, an’ you changed for that first time? And I stuck by you and helped you keep your head?”
David physically shuddered. “Not gonna lie, kinda glad I never had to go through that again. That wasn’t fun.”
“No, it wasn’t. Pain in the ass smuggling ya outta New York too, Davy-boy. You’re big, you’re hairy, and you were WAY uglier back then!”
David scowled. “What’s your point here, Jack? Am I supposed to be forever indebted to you or something?”
“The point,” Jack replied, locking eyes with David’s, “is I never gave up on you. You’re my best friend, David! I was never gonna let you down! And that’s still true. Don’t matter that I had to leave my life, hit the road and go off the grid, work crappy jobs and stay on the move just trying to keep us both fed and somewhere to live.” He waved a hand around the crappy trailer, a dry grin on his face. “Point is I’m here for you buddy.” He smacked David on the rump, giving the wolf a wink. “I got your back.”
David stared at his friend, expression softening as he lay his head back down. “Thanks, Jack. I wouldn’t be here still if it weren’t for you.”
“You know it, buddy. And hey! We have some fun, don’t we?” Jack’s tone lightened, the young man unflappably optimistic, “Goodman and Kessler against the world! Till the wheels come off!” He clacked his beer against David’s dish. “Cheers, buddy!”
David rolled his eyes, indulging Jack and taking another drink as the man downed his can. His ears raised as a ping sounded from the kitchen and he looked to Jack expectantly. “Go on then, Goodman. Plate up, I’m starved.”
Jack reared his head back in a laugh. “Oh, sure thing your Davidlyness!” He stood and padded off to fix their respective dinners, allowing David to stretch back out on the couch. “You want bread an’ butter?”
“Sure.” David rolled onto his back, head resting on his pillow, nose twitching in anticipation at the smell of the hot food. He frowned. He leaned on an elbow and scowled into the kitchen. “Hey! Did you call me ugly a minute ago??”
“Relax!” Jack’s voice called back, “you look great! Very handsome boy!”
David huffed, glowering as he rested back in his reclined position. “Dick.”
...
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strawberri-syrup · 1 year
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“but you see the face of a girl holding onto the edge” OH NO
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tampatom12 · 1 year
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Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola via Danny's Insta story, 08/11/2023
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daveys-angel01 · 1 year
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i’m going to a british person’s concert hopefully his best friend quinn isn’t there bc obv every british person knows each other
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