#oh no I'm reverting to my 2020 ways

[youling-the-ghost]

I just got caught up on the bnha manga and boy do I have some thoughts about the future of the series. OBVIOUS SPOILER WARNING IS OBVIOUS

I don't know how to feel about the fact that bnha could be ending soon. On one hand, I'm glad that the final war arc is finally reaching its conclusion, but on the other hand, there are so many loose ends that I'm worried will never be tied up. I'm mostly worried about the future of class 1-A because every scenario that I thought of had something wrong with it:

Class 1-A continues studying at UA as if nothing had happened. This doesn't quite sit well with me because let's be real here, all of class 1-A were all more heroic than most of the Pro Heroes. Having them continue studying at UA would feel almost disingenuous to the entire final war arc. Despite this, I still feel like this is the best option for class 1-A. After everything that has happened, a sense of normalcy would probably be appreciated. Plus I'd love to see Shinsou as part of the hero course in their second year.

Class 1-A graduates from UA by default and all become Pro Heroes. I don't like this scenario for more personal reasons. The main reason why I love bnha so much is its academia aspects; I loved seeing the characters grow like actual students in a genuine school setting. Having the students graduate would be taking the main charm of the show away, at least in my opinion. Although I will say that it would be incredibly exciting to see the students that we've been following for the past 400 chapters become Pro Heroes, so I'm not entirely against this option either.

The hero society crumbles and heroes cease to exist, thereby disbanding UA and class 1-A. Honestly I'm only including this because it's a popular fan-theory, although I don't agree with it at all. It feels like a slap in the face to every student who faught in the war. It would genuinely be such a big disservice to have all of them who risked their lives fighting in the war, only for their dreams to be ripped from them. Another issue is that in my opinion, the heroes themselves isn't even the biggest flaw within the hero society. I feel like the biggest flaw with the whole system is how the general public views heroes. They see Pro Heroes as saints and pillars who can shoulder all of society's burdens and blames. Removing the job of Pro Heroes would just feel like putting a band-aid on an amputated limb, as the core issue of bnha's society shifting its blame onto others wouldn't be resolved. It would also just be scummy to title your series "My Hero Academia" only to remove the concept of heroes by the end of it. I'm not bashing Horikoshi's writing or even fans who support this theory, I just personally think that it's not a very plausible ending for bnha.

Again, I feel like option 1, where class 1-A continue to school as normal (followed by a time-skip when they become Pro Heroes) would be the best and most plausible option. However, I don't think it would be right for things to completely return to normal either.

I really hope that Horikoshi adds an arc after the current one that explores the aftermath of everything, including the public reaction to how hard the heroes faught against the villains and their unwavering spirit, which could also serve as a proper end to the overarching story of the broken hero society.

This is more of a tangent than anything else, but I CAN'T BELIEVE SHIGARAKI JUST DIED LIKE THAT??? I guess it makes me overly optimistic, but I genuinely thought at one point that Midoriya could save Tenko from All For One because it would be an incredibly fitting end for him. Tenko's main motivation behind becoming Shigaraki was the fact that not one person helped him when he was wandering the streets as a traumatised kid, and a common narrative that all of the League of Villains shared was how their fates could have been different had someone reached out a helping hand when they needed it most. Having Midoriya save Tenko from All For One would be such a satisfying ending, not only for the overarching story of the villains, but for those who wish that the villains could be redeemed. It would be such a perfect ending AND IT WAS TAKEN AWAY JUST LIKE THAT?? I don't buy it tbh maybe I'm just delusional but I have a feeling that the whole ordeal with Shigaraki isn't finished yet.

Lastly, IS MIDORIYA QUIRKLESS AGAIN?? Since Shigaraki had One For All when he died, that would mean that the quirk is also gone, right? So would that mean that he would no longer be able to become a hero? I could see this going one of two ways:

Shigaraki's not actually dead or One For All didn't disappear when he died, meaning that Midoriya can continue using it.

One For All really is gone and Midoriya is quirkless again, but he continues striving towards his goal of being a hero despite not having a quirk.

I think both options have potential and I wouldn't be opposed if either option becomes canon. Although, if Shigaraki gets revived for some bullshit reason, I might just riot. I know I literally just said that I'm not against Shigaraki not actually being dead, but that would require a plausible explanation for why he's dead but not actually dead. I think the most plausible explanation right now would be if somehow Shigaraki's quirk mutates and the "restore" part of it returns, which could "restore" his body again. But even that is a little...eh to me. Either way, I'm excited for what's in store.

You thought I was done, well SIKE! Let's talk about Midoriya's dad! Horikoshi has confirmed in 2018 that his identity will be revealed at some point, but it's nearing the end of the final war arc and still not one hint has dropped about Hisashi Midoriya. I feel like this could end up being another "Aoyama is the traitor" situation, where we think that Horikoshi has forgotten about this plot line, only for him to come back to it in full force that makes total sense in retrospect.

The most popular theory right now is that Hisashi Midoriya is actually All For One, and I actually kind of agree with it. I don't think that this is 100% going to be what Horikoshi goes with, but I think it's a pretty interesting idea that also has decent plausibility. Apart from the evidence that other fans have accumulated, there's also a lot of merit in the storytelling that could stem from this reveal:

It has already been established that the public is willing to turn their backs on heroes, no matter how much they sacrifice to ensure the safety of the civillians, if they believe that the hero is "immoral" in some way. The reveal that All For One is Midoriya's dad would be like the "Dabi is Touya" reveal except 10 times worse because this isn't just some villain, it's literally All For One. The public would not take it well, and that could be a great segue to directly addressing all of the issues about the hero society that Horikoshi has been building up.

This also completes the foil contrast between Midoriya and Shigaraki; two kids who were victims of the broken hero society, one born from a villain and one born from a hero, who become the opposite as they're taken under the wing of the greatest hero and the greatest villain. There's just something so poetic about that that I love.

Let's say that Tenko Shimura does get saved by Midoriya, imagine how he'd feel when he finds out that the person who saved him is directly related to the person who caused all of his pain and grief. It would probably break him, and this could lead to such an interesting arc of Tenko re-adjusting to a normal civilian life, dealing with the backlash that's bound to happen, and learning how to trust Midoriya again. It's such a compelling idea that I'm itching to write a fic about it.

But apart from that, there's also the fact that there aren't many other ways that would make the reveal interesting enough to justify it being such a long mystery. Think about it, there's probably a good reason that Horikoshi kept Midoriya's dad a secret for so long, and it would be lame as hell if he just turned out to be some guy. Having All For One be Midoriya's dad seems like one of the few ways for the reveal to be compelling. I could also see Midoriya being related to the Todorokis in some way, but then it would just feel like the "Dabi is Touya" reveal with extra steps.

And with that, I'm finally done with this ridiculously long post. Again, depsite my grievances, I'm super hyped to see what's to come with the series, and I'm genuinely so excited for chapter 424 to come out.

[sharkneto]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit of a personal question - and feel free to ignore it if it is - but how did you know you wanted to start hrt? I am someone who IDs as transmasc and knows in an ideal world, I would've loved to have been born a guy. But the idea of going on hormones is terrifying because I can't figure out if I really want it... I worry about regretting it, or it making me 'unappealing' physically, or my friends judging me for it. Did you ever struggle with similar worries?

I think every person thinking about and starting HRT goes through this. A rite of passage, if you will, and also not a bad thing to do. HRT is a big step, some of the changes (especially on T) are irreversible. It's good to think through if it's a choice that's right for you or not.

That said, it's also Just A Thing You Can Do. I first started really questioning my gender at the end of 2020 (thank you, Elliot Page, for coming out and making me go "oh shit, you can do that?"). I got a therapist to talk about gender... Mid 2022? And started hormones spring 2023, top surgery a year later.

Before getting the therapist, I spent over a year Just Thinking About It. And a lot of the thoughts were around the changes on T and if I'd like them or not or if I'd regret them. If I'd be ugly, after being conventionally attractive as a woman.

It hits a point, though, where eventually you have to pull the plug one way or another. I spent a lot of time thinking about how my body would change on T. A Lot. With longing. I caught myself putting things off Until I Knew For Sure and because I didn't want to do it while being perceived as a woman. I was sitting, treading water for a hypothetical Later that I could start moving towards at any time. I was scared for the Teenage Round 2 phase, and didn't want to spend months being "ugly and awkward", but then the months passed anyway and I was still in the same spot.

HRT isn't an all-or-nothing thing, you can ease into it on a low dose. My doctor started me on a low dose and we ramped up over months. Some T changes can start pretty quickly (voice dropping, bottom growth - this isn't true for everyone, but was true for me). If these changes excite you, make you feel good - great! Keep going! If they scare you, feel wrong - stop. Assess. Figure out what about it isn't right (a gender therapist for all of this process is a Huge Help). In early days if you stop T, the changes can revert, for the most part. But you can always stop at any time.

The bigger thing I actively worked to wrap my head around before starting HRT is - Who Cares If You're Wrong? What's right for you now might not be right for you later. The idea of detransitioning was scary to me, society has such a weird spotlight on it, the Right uses people who have detransitioned as props against transition. But it shouldn't matter. At the end of the day, if I do change my mind, I'll know myself better, and I don't think it's wrong to chase and find comfort in your own body.

A year+ on T, I've mostly made it through the ugly duck phase, I think. I was lucky, I didn't get bad acne or get too oily or anything (after having horrible acne in my first puberty). Most of what I dealt with was the chronic baby face, where I was getting read as male but a teenager - I'm almost 30 and a woman wanted to card me over a free T-shirt at a baseball game because it had beer logos on it. After some middle months of changes and going "oh my god what am I doing" and not feeling confident in how this was all going to turn out, I think of myself as relatively attractive and I think I'm just going to get more vain as my beard comes in. Some of that is physical, sure, but I think a significant amount of that is me feeling more confident in myself and liking the body I'm in more. I was never a selfie or picture person, now I am. I joke I'm like a budgie, always looking at myself if there's a reflective surface nearby. I'm more excited to exercise, I'm interested in lifting weights for the first time, I'm curious what my body on T can do and become. Keep your eyes on the pieces that are going well, the changes exciting you, and let the rest catch up.

My social circle helped a lot. I'm very lucky and blessed to have great friends and family, all of whom are supportive. If you don't have friends who are supportive of you, that are judging you for exploring yourself rather than lifting you up for it, it's a sign to expand the social circle and find ones that are. Family is harder, but that's a thing you have to navigate for yourself and find your own boundaries for.

So, there's no ~one moment~ where you're 100% certain that medical transition is right for you. It's a huge unknown and you're changing the body you've had your entire life. At some point, though, you just have to jump and see how it lands. Part of being alive is making mistakes and doing things you might regret.

That said, the regret rate for trans people is something like 3%. The regret rate for knee surgery is something like 20%. Trust yourself.

[salty-cs]

One last post from me (because im disabled and yall have caused me such severe levels of physical pain i need a break for 3 weeks so thanks cs user halo) for the people who for some reason won't just come talk to me to get the proof and explanations and keep sending asks here

I have tons of valid proof, many server mods can vouch for this. If anon aka halo was telling the truth then he could simply provide a video of the messages that INCLUDE watching him refresh the page, but he can't because he used inspect elements to edit discord messages and I believe that when you refresh it reverts back does it not?

As for people being weird about me saying sun wasnt in discord in 2020? Gee I'm sorry I'm not a creep who tracked my partner's every single tiny movement online, okay so they had what hella minimal discord activity in that year? I think I can show you things a million times more compelling than that lol

Seriously just message me if you're still upset trust me i'm probably way more scared of you than you are of me i've been shaking nearly 2 days straight talking to so many people all because of some monster whose favourite pastime is ruining people's lives for a laugh, he does this to Literally Everyone (so many of his victims have spoken to me and have offered to provide their own evidence)

Oh and be careful everyone! blocking him = this mess

.

[tamiddyinyourcity]

6:11pm, I am exhausted.

I fell asleep shortly after my last post. Not sure what I dreamt about, but I'm 90% sure it was about my ex, so whatever.

Sunday, March 15th of 2020.

What do I need to feel happy and contented right now?

Water, since if I cry, I'm dehydrated.

A shower. I'd take a bath and relax, buuuut considering Ulta Beauty is cancelling all their appointments for the rest of the month, and my hair went from thin as spider silk to a big ol silky and fluffy cloud.... I don't wanna risk it. I miss getting hair relaxers... I hate the process and the burns, but love not fearing any wet weather and all of that. My hair is a lot healthier now, though. Ayyy, length and shine is what i dig.

An orgasm. This social distancing shit is wack, RIGHT AS I WAS READY TO SHOW OFF ALL THE NICE DRESSES AND ENJOY THE SUN, A PANDEMIC AND NONSTOP RAIN HAPPENS. I just wanna get fucked, dicked down, sent to pound town, tossed around, and oh look, instead I must deal with hand cramps and sweaty armpits as i sit in my house, buttass nekkid, instead of being happily naked with someone else mutually attractive.

I wanna fuck my ex, buuuuuuut.... between him being the stagnant cringeworthy punk ass that he is, and me being even more vulnerable emotionally as well as a bit too keen to kick doors..... I can't. He's not sorry for lying and refusing the bare minimum, so, that alone keeps me juuuust the right annoyed at him.

Things to do. There really isnt shit to do with things like this.

Ugh.

Annoyed for so many reasons.

Me deciding to buy hella sundresses and rebuild my self esteem and social circles: time for hot girl spring

The universe, ready to make me lose my job, bring rainstorms, and a global pandemic to prevent me from going out: yeah, ok

.......

The ultimate test of "when I can't upgrade my looks, go out and take a walk to clear my mind, or truly be alone, how will I cope?"

.....

THREE FUCKING WEEKS OF A PANDEMIC.

Not shit to do. Rainstorms + my unrelaxed hair just itching for a single droplet to revert my hair. Spiteful memories.

Predictions:

I'm gonna lose my goddamned mind hearing my younger sibling scream into the game, all day and night for three fucking weeks or less/more/whatever

My mom is going to do something really stupid, and will be more prone to rage due to not being able to work during the pandemic (both the kids she sits for are the babies of teachers, who wont be working for several weeks)

I'll somehow find a way to get laid in what either is the dumbest disease scare in America, or, the prologue to a knockoff TWD franchise

I'm not a self harmer, (or well some people say that a lack of diet or scalding showers is a form of it,) but ngl I could picture losing my shit like that if it was serious enough. Hell, I recall bad moments in the past, sometimes you really just gotta self isolate and avoid any pens/forks/knives, in fear of stabbing your wrists, AHS-style. (That show is fucked up, tbh.)

I'm gonna sweat out every piece of clothing I own

Someone will get punched. It'll probably be me.

I might bake something.

I'll make a fuckton of content, now that money and other things are not an issue.