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#oh no what if im embarassing well i wasnt trying to be cool so
wulvert · 1 year
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HI!!!!
i have something 2 confess,,,im so sorry,,,ive nver watched trigun. wht scene are u talking about with kelly in the tags of the avery ref discussion post,,,(GENUINE QUESTION JUST REREAD THIS AFTER TYPING THIS ENTIRE ASK AND REALISED IT KINDA SOUNDED MEAN??? JUDGEMENTAL??? IT WASNT MEANT 2 BE THAT WAY SORRY) ALSO IF IT ISNT BLATANT SPOILER TERRITORY,,,whats the lore behind all their scars. why has avery been stabbed so many few times. is she secretly weak against knives pre-incident. whts scarlet's two scars,,,does trisha have scars besides the werewolf attack incident back in ye olden days,,, also off topic but i tried dr. pepper strawberries and cream today and it made me think of red. my ratign is "far too sweet oh god jesus FUCKING christ good heavens i can feel my heart stopping" and then i finished the entire can. the best way i can describe the taste is if you chose to drink an entire thing of carbonated strawberry syrup for fun
NOO DW I DONT EXPECR PPL 2 READ MY TAGS ANYWAY im talkong abt the scene where u find out vash has a cage over hus left nipple
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that one.
tbh not the most interesting backstory, vampires just get u with a knife sometimes! they dont like being killed. tho avery has a scar on her ankle where her dad cut her achilles tendon when she was a kid (its completely fine now though) (it was an accident he expected her to dodge his knive so its normal father daughter bonding its like when ur dad makes u lick a battery when ur 4)
on her ref scarlet has one on her lower upper leg. like above her knee but above above her knee, and one on the side of her stomach- wait and her bite scar which she covers up pretty well
k on averys ref which js the only completed (ish) ref bc im lazy she has one stab-slash in one combo on her stomach, two slashes on her left forearm around where ud block something with it. back of her knee, slash on upper arm, slash agross her shoulder blades, &obvs her little bite scar. and her ankle. & yes, she would never admit it but she was weak against being stabbed. embarassing.
kelly i have drawn his scars like once in my sketchbook but hes been stabbed a lot, i think staked once and ppl vampires bite him sometimes (but thats ok he survived unlike some ppl, who somehow claim 2 b better at their job than he is) good few like intense slashes on the torso, ones similar to averys forearm scars but more intense and on all arms, top surgery, another stab here and there- couple burns when he gets in the way of avery with a flamethrower. its fine. hes fine. it looks cool anyway. ive never drawn his back which is probably more scarred nkw that i think abt it. bc. he probably gets sneaked up on more often.
trisha the ones on screen (i think shes the only one ive bothered giving scars on screen bc theyre lore relevant but more bc im lazy), and general giant dog mauling on her legs and stuff. prior 2 that no! she was young and hadnt been hit with the violence of everyday household objects deciding to betray you yet. ( not me thiugh i have been attacked by pencils scissors and my own appendix )
i wanted 2 try that but afaik it doesnt exist here..................... jealos..... though i dont really want to drink an entire can of carbonated strawberry syrup.
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soupydreams2 · 1 year
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i want to message you but im not. so im going to make another cringe ass post here.
im sorry for being a shitty friend. really you put up with a lot. and god when i figured it out it was too late. i appricate you trying for a year. i know that the bad taste rose left in your mouth didnt go away when you realized what *actually* happened, cause how could it? you saw me in a different light that you couldnt just switch back. you tried. looking back i see how hard you tried. i could tell you felt guilty. that you felt it wasnt deserved. but wasnt it? i had to be so mature as a kid. homeless on my own. unhealthy attachments were all i knew. its what kept me going. and as an adult it took me a while to get rid of those.
and i noticed the shift immedately. im not dumb. and it made me panic. i was scared that *this* would happen.
i still cringe at the tough of you following my vensta. i really didnt know you did but that sounds like a lie. god how embarassing. and ofc it was written like i was romantically in love with you. when i know im not and never really have been. when we "dated" it felt wrong to kiss you or anything else besides holding hands. either you saw that or youalso were in the same boat. but i knew that i wanted to always be your friend.
you were shitty to me too yeah. and who isnt sometimes. i feel like ive already gotten over what you did but i still miss *you* as a friend. isnt that dumb. isnt that what you hated me for? forgiving people who hurt me? anyways.
all my friends now are cool i guess. i still have a lot of fun with tom at work. he like. actually genuinely likes me i think? or it might just be hes literally forced to interact with me on a daily basis. poor guy. we all know how much of a grudge he can hold and hes forced to stay with me. hey at least it isnt void. i do try to respect his personal space and keep distant. id hate me too if i were you guys.
OH i wanted to bring up the time i said i was jealous of "tom", and said i was really jealous of how you spend time with others in ways you dont with me anymore. remember that? and you sneered and equated me to void? WELL look at what was actually going on. weather you were doing it on purpose or not. you were avoiding me and annoyed by me and didnt want to hang out. but when id bring this up youd say its *my fault* for not putting in the effort when i was. and that you were "going through a rough patch and needed space" so i GAVE YOU SPACE. and then seeing you hang with tom. it made me confused. you needed space but swore it wasnt from me. of course i saw that and was upset. i just hope you realize that.
but everything together does make me sound like a creep on the other side. writing weird psuedo romantic vents abt you and saying i was jealous of tom out of context is making cringe to this day when i think of it.
anyways. i hope youre okay. i hear about you from tom sometimes, and while it feels like ive been stabbed. im glad youre okay. im glad youre happy.
im sorry.
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also a big liberating thing about mcr is that they were like explicitly not trying to be cool. like sure cringe is dead but i guess sometimes you need someone you admire to tell you things before you believe it i guess
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tigerdrop · 3 years
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in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that
ta-dah
ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11
so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)
basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out
now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME
he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)
the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"
(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)
vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping
jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off
and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away
and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try
(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise
and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him
unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey
now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.
and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.
(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind
so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)
but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this
lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play
but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later
and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not
i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic
it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)
it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.
and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"
and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"
normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff
its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!
i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?
well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro
anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)
“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion
and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head
gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is
and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair
so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.
and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).
benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is
benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful
so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried
point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best
benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.
he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words
hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus
benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher
he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.
gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!
but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.
anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.
for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.
and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.
gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.
the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!
gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.
benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth
and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—
and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.
then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.
once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself
he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.
“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”
“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”
and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—
except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—
and—
oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.
then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”
“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”
“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”
“im not a bad dog!”
“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”
(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)
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starryseo · 6 years
Text
heart eyes. | seo changbin
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this gif is perfect!!
pairing ↠ changbin x gender neutral!reader
genre ↠ just fluff!!
wc ↠ 1533
summary ↠ chan is a terrible wingman.
warnings ↠ a biiit of swearing. like one word.
hi, i saw that your requests are open and i just found your blog but i love your writing so much already! i was wondering if i could have a scenario with changbin? where you are bff w/ chan and are 4 years older than changbin and also a few inches taller than him but have a crush on him. you don't do anything about your crush but chan knows about it and wants you two to get together. you can decide how you want it to end! thank you!
a/n ↠ thank you so much!!! + im sorry i know you said scenario but this is gonna be a bulleted scenario bc paragraphs take long for me and i dont want you waiting forever for this rip
hope you like it anyways tho!!!!
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okay so!!
you’re a songwriter at jyp and you’ve worked with a lot of different groups in there, getting to know the trainees and debuted groups
when you’re not working with debuted groups, you’re helping out some of the trainees
some of them have told you how much they look up to you since you’re young but you’ve gotten so far in life, writing lyrics and melodies for one of the top 3
and they’re always asking you for tips and ideas and if you can read over some of the lyrics theyve written
and theyre always asking for your opinion on whether the melody goes with the lyrics theyve written
and you love how inspired and determind they are bc it’s hard being a trainee, going to school AND writing lyrics/ composing on the side
mad respect to all those out there
you’ve worked with a lot of trainees, but when jyp himself asked you to work w a kiddo named chan you were really excited!!!
ok hes not really a kiddo, he was a year younger than yourself but!! who cares!!!
you two hit it off really quickly, being vvv good friends in a short amount of time
some other trainees had suggested you listen to some soundcloud group 3racha and you really liked them!!!
and now!! you’re working with one of them!!!
jyp knew that chan was rly good at song writing and composing, and it was getting closer to the survival show time, so he asked you to help chan out
guiding him on how to write a Hit Song
so you worked closely with him before the show had started airing, running through the tips you had learnt through your years of writing
and you ran through different concepts and ideas he wanted to express through his music and songs
after a month of constant-coffee-meet-ups and late night freestyles you two had gotten vv close
practically inseparable, even tho you both were v busy, you w composing and him with his group
there rly was never a dull moment between you two and you rly liked having a proper friend that you could trust and vent to if need be
the day he introduced you to his group was wild!!!
he invited you out to a restaurant after the hellevator mv dropped
when you got there, he was standing at the entrance and he was like “:00 you came!!! took you long enough!!”
“i wasnt gonna miss out on free food now was i??”
he took you inside, saying he’d already gotten the table
and when you got there youre like
“,,,, why are there a bunch of boys at our table ://”
“theyre my group members!!!!”
:000!!!
they were quiet at first but when chan introduced you they all burst into cheers
it was just chaos like “hi!!!!!!!” / “hellooooooo!!!” / “omg!!!!!” / “thank you for helping w the mv!!!!” / “wow we finally get to see yn!!!!!!”
and youre just like ,,,,, what do i even reply to,,
so you say hi etc, introduce yourself and then take a seat next to chan
even tho you had known chan for a long time, you rly had only worked w him
like, he would always come to your office to work on stuff or you’d meet in public places, but it was only ever the two of you
so you were happy you finally got to meet the others!!
it was rly fun meeting all of them, they were so lively!!!
they were asking all sorts of questions abt you, your job, interests etc and they were rly thankful that you helped chan bc he imparted his knowledge + help onto them
and chan was like “yeah thanks for all your help!! this is all stressful so it was vv helpful that you guided me on how to do this stuff!!”
but as soon as the food came? they were silent
like seriously, there was barely any chatter
only small grumbles from jisung when seungmin stole his food
you had spoken to changbin a lot throughout the night
he was sitting next to you and you were internally Combusting bc
oh man you were sitting in between 2/3 of 3racha and you had to admit
changbin was probs your fave outta the 3 of them
man,, you really loved his tone of voice and how he could change it so easily within a song, and it would still flow so!! well!!!
you loved listening to him rapping sm and chan most definitely knew abt that
whenever he brought over lines/ ideas that he and the guys had written, you’d be like Wow i really love this part, it flows rly well w the melody
chan: “ah really? guess who wrote that!”
“,?? you?”
“changbin ;))))”
“whats with that face :/”
“ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  face”
“t h a t  f a c e”
“youre the one that goes all Heart Eyes when i mention changbin n yet im making a weird face??? k then”
“PPPPFT shut up lets work idk what youre talking abt”
and he dropped the subject but that stupid smirk never left his face :(((
when you finished your food, chan who obvs had already inhaled his food just started nudging you like
“( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) nows ur chance”
“i can finally kill u?? :D”
“:( no wtf why would u wanna do that?”
“wait i have a list-”
“BRO </3 i meant nows ur chance to woo changbin ;^))))”
“to do what now”
“to KiSs KiSs FaLl In LoVe with bInNiE!!”
“omg youre embarassing how are You the leader??”
and he just kept that up the Whole Night
honestly youre surprised none of the other guys realised what he was doing bc he just kept smirking and nudging you whenever changbin so much as sipped his water and you would straight up Elbow Him
but then he was like “hey changbin :)”
and internally you were just like Oh Great here comes the Fuckening
and the dude literally Exposed you there
and you were just like ?? i just mET youre group and youre already telling them my life story???
Chan basically told changbin abt how much you rly liked his lyrics and you were just like
:))) I :)) Hate :))))) You :)))) ByungChan
and like there was no way for you to even defend yourself bc chan was making you out to be some crazy fan like “oh man yn wouldnt sTOP talking abt this one line you wrote in IF and it was like 4am like bro i already dont sleep and they kept me up”
minho the Jerk was like !!! theyre blushing aww!!!
Cue you going even more red like Bang Chan youre a dead man :)
And changbin was just rly ? bashful ? he was surprisingly mature abt this and he just kept his reply rly simple like “ah really? thanks, that means a lot, esp coming from such an amazing writer like yourself!”
and you felt like Dying bc
were you that weird in his eyes that he couldnt even joke abt this now?? like did he just find you Super Creepy he just went all Awkward + Formal on you???
nAH HE WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING BUt unfortunately you didnt know that bc he was holding it in so. well.
the major TBH is that chan was so trying to set you up
like,,, look at the seating arrangement man, he HAD to put you two together bc
you wouldnt stop talking abt how much you loved changbin’s skills
and omg changbin was even worse
as soon as he found out chan was working with you he was Begging to join too!!
he was like!!!! i need help!! so much help pLS LET ME WORK WITH THEM P L S
and chan just to tease the both of you prolonged this out for so. long. bc Hes the Devil
honestly he was so close to bursting into laughter when changbin gave you such a formal reply bc hE KNEW he was going crazy inside like
he always talked abt how cool you were with all the songs you wrote, he loved how you were so emotive and creative with your words, you really inspired him
and his bEST FRIEND was woRKING WITH YOU and NOT giving him your phONE NUMBER chan is the ult snake
chan basically confirmed everything when he asked you who your fave in 3racha was and you said that chan was
bc like lmfao s u r e it was
and then when chan told changbin your fave was jisung he looked the tiniest bit Sad which basically just confirmed everything in chan’s mind
and he felT BAD THAT he straight up lied to changbin bUT
he did that like the day before he was gonna introduce you two
so he had already planned to expose you and see changbin blush like Crazy
Unfortunately only you were blushing but,,, he Knew
and when he saw you and changbin trailing behind the group after dessert, phones out to exchange details, he Knew ;^))) 
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i rly didnt know where i was going with this and then i just button smashed this lmfao also sorry i didnt mention the height thing?? i didnt know if you wanted that to be an important plot point but i like the openness of this lmao sorry i’ll make up for it one day hopefully. i hope u like it anyway ++ im so so sry its so late!!!
134 notes · View notes
gildedalchemist · 6 years
Note
1 - 100
Well then! I actually have some downtime so im doing this. Post was from a while ago but i saved it for when I have time. I’m not gonna answer a number of these fully bc thats TOO much sharing, but I’ll answer as many as i can.
1. What is you middle name?not answering this one
2. How old are you?24
3. When is your birthday?August 25th
4. What is your zodiac sign?Virgo
5. What is your favorite color?Royal Purple, though I like many shades of lighter purples nowadays
6. What’s your lucky number?Yup, 2. If not 2, then 8.
7. Do you have any pets?I have a family dog at home, hes a labradoodle named Sebastian
8. Where are you from?Southern California
9. How tall are you?I like to think I’m 6 feet tall, but im just short of that I think
10. What shoe size are you?11 US Mens, which i think is 14 in womens? I forget the conversion, and it’s damn near impossible to find anything in my size in that department.
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?enough that I’ve lost count
12. What was your last dream about?hanging out with @the-senor-sperm​, Xavier
13. What talents do you have?I don’t believe in talent. Nobody starts good at anything, it’s all skills that must be trained and maintained.
14. Are you psychic in any way?I have very good gut reactions when I first meet people, generally. It has almost never steered me wrong, especially when it comes to my personal safety. If someone is not to be trusted, I generally know pretty quickly.
15. Favorite song?I’m not sure right now, I’ve been introduced to a lot of new music in the last year and I have a hard time choosing.
16. Favorite movie?Clue!
17. Who would be your ideal partner?Someone who challenges me to be the person I want to be. Someone I can trust with my thoughts and feelings. Someone I can spend my time with and be okay when all else is crumbling. Someone I love. Someone who would sit up with me while I’m deliriously I’ll, and make sure I’m drinking water, and eating, particularly microwave cup ramen. ;P
18. Do you want children?I dunno. I used to. I used to feel like I wanted to prove I could be a better parent, but I don’t feel that need, nor do I want that to be my reason anymore. I just want to live and be happy with my partner. Whatever happens after that, will be decided when the time comes.
19. Do you want a church wedding?Oof. I dunno. The thought is nice but I don’t know if the church would be cool with the wedding I’d wanna have ówò;;;  
20. Are you religious?Not really at the moment. I want to believe in something, but that something has no form for me right now.
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yes, I’ve even had surgery! (on my sinuses, im fine now!)
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Not really
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Nope, unless you count internet celebrities, which I dont really. I met Arin Hanson before I knew who he even was.
24. Baths or showers?Showers
25. What color socks are you wearing?white
26. Have you ever been famous?lmao nope
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?No, i don’t like that kind of pressure
28. What type of music do you like?little bit of everything, though i do quite like electronic stuff
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?nope, but if i ever have my own pool and could do so without peeking neighbors, i’d consider it.
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?2 usually, but i only have 1 right now because reasons
31. What position do you usually sleep in?either on my side if the bed is real soft, or on my stomach.
32. How big is your house?its pretty decently sized, but I’m living in a dorm right now and not at my parents house
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?nothing
34. Have you ever fired a gun?Yes. I wasnt a fan. I didnt like how easy it is to just point and kill, and i especially hate that people think having that power is a right that should be protected like it is.
35. Have you ever tried archery?yes i have. I enjoyed it from a skill aspect
36. Favorite clean word?spaghetti. its real fun to say
37. Favorite swear word?i like saying chucklefuck
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?about 40 hours. I’ve never done 2 consecutive all nighters. at that point, i start to pass out when i blink.
39. Do you have any scars?Yes, I have one on my shoulder and lower back from the same injury, one on my knee and shin from unrelated incidents, and scars on my hands, face, and shoulders from injuries and acne over the years
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?If I did, they kept it a pretty good secret. Or not. I am quite oblivious in that regard. Its hard when you just assumed for years that youre unloveable.
41. Are you a good liar?I used to be but not much anymore
42. Are you a good judge of character?Almost always
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?Nope, it is embarassing for me to even try
44. Do you have a strong accent?people say they dont notice an accent from me until i say certain words, like dude, or awesome.
45. What is your favorite accent?New Zealand accents are a hoot
46. What is your personality type?Timid, but caring
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?honestly not sure. most of my stuff isnt that expensive. by original cost probably a cashmere sweater, but I bought it at a thrift shop. 
48. Can you curl your tongue?yes
49. Are you an innie or an outie?innie
50. Left or right handed?right
51. Are you scared of spiders?somewhat, but I dont react as badly as I used to at the sight of them. only if they touch me.
52. Favorite food?spaghetti? pizza? Xaviers cooking? hard to say
53. Favorite foreign food?sushi!
54. Are you a clean or messy person?clean in many ways, except for my room
55. Most used phrased?“aww, gay.”
56. Most used word?at this point, probably “fuck”
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?if im in a hurry, minutes, if im not, hours.
58. Do you have much of an ego?I can, but i’m working on it. I dont think I do though.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Bite
60. Do you talk to yourself?Usually, mostly to walk myself through things
61. Do you sing to yourself?Rarely
62. Are you a good singer?I think i’m better than i used to be, but im not great
63. Biggest Fear?Losing my best friends. I lost one in a very bad way, I cant stand the thought of losing more.
64. Are you a gossip?Once i got to university I became one, but I didnt used to be. Thats just kinda the environment I’m in. I feel like if i didnt people wouldnt trust me as much or even at all.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?i dunno, im not sure what constitutes “dramatic”
66. Do you like long or short hair?on me, Long. I cant stand how ive looked with short hair anymore. On other people I have no preference.
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?Fuck no lmao
68. Favorite school subject?Chemistry, after that Psych or English
69. Extrovert or Introvert?Extrovert with anxiety that makes me present like an introvert, i think is what ive settled on
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?nope
71. What makes you nervous?So many things oh my god
72. Are you scared of the dark?Yes
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?I do for some people but it is seen as inappropriate to others, and in some cases makes people think im trying to be superior, so I try not to anymore unless asked. Its not my place, unless they want to be corrected.
74. Are you ticklish?Don’t fuckin touch me. I am but I’ll bite.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?No. I had too many false rumors started about me, I wouldnt do that to someone else unless it was true and people needed to know the truth.
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?Sort of? I’ve been in classrooms and worked with kids, so i’ve been in situations where they answer to me, but I’ve never really been the main figure head so I’d say no overall.
77. Have you ever drank underage?yes
78. Have you ever done drugs?yes
79. Who was your first real crush?Honestly? I dont even know anymore. I know I had some, but what counts as “real”? I’d guess the one that lead to my first relationship. that was in 2011.
80. How many piercings do you have?none
81. Can you roll your Rs?“nope
82. How fast can you type?pretty fast
83. How fast can you run?I can run pretty fast but only for short bursts now.
84. What color is your hair?brown
85. What color is your eyes?blue-green
86. What are you allergic to?a variety of weeds, trees, grasses, molds, and dust mites
87. Do you keep a journal?not physically. what i post online and in recordable formats count as my journal, so i may look back on what ive said.
88. What do your parents do?my mom is a housewife, my dad works in law
89. Do you like your age?y...yes?? what does this even mean?
90. What makes you angry?injustice and unfairness
91. Do you like your own name?Not my full name, I like my first name’s shortening, so thats why i go by Matt
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Only John. To honor his memory, and all that he did for me. He set me on the path to become who I am.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?I want my kid to decide that for themself, if I ever have one.
94. What are you strengths?Tenacity
95. What are your weaknesses?Cowardice
96. How did you get your name?My dad named me after his best friend first, then his karate instructor for middle
97. Were your ancestors royalty?not to my knowledge
98. Do you have any scars?wasnt this #39?
99. Color of your bedspread?light blue
100. Color of your room?the one at home is sort of yellowish i think. the room i’m in right now is white.
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