#oh tumblr i feel like you would more appreciate this boy pussy fun fact

[lesbianshepard]

[fckinev]

Daddy Issues (draco malfoy x fem!reader)

*an itsy draco smut to please my dirty soul n get me used to writing on tumblr lol

summary - draco and y/n are at a gala with their parents. they’ve known each other for their entire lives and hate each other with a passion. tonight, they’re going to put that passion to good use...

warnings - implied alcohol, swear words, sex n degradation-y stuff (he calls u a bitch like one time isn’t that fun!)

word count - absolutely no idea but it’s kinda long lol

personal thoughts - trash, throw the whole thing away. also it’s mostly unedited but it’s the middle of the night and i just have to write this because hngngnhngnhnngh draco sexc*

Before she has even set foot in the venue, Y/N wants to leave. Double doors spreading across the front of the building allow people to step inside the too-large hall, laughter horsey and chatter hollow. The urge to hitch up her dress and run helter-skelter back down the winding gravel pathway is so strong it’s palpable to her mother, who keeps a hand clamped on her daughter’s shoulder. Her mother’s hands are clammy and Y/N is glad, because if she is being literally held here against her will, the person forcing her to stay can at least feel worried to go any closer to the mob than this.

“Best behaviour,” her mother reminds her, beginning to march toward the doors with false purpose, “And don’t complain about talking to other people. If someone asks you to dance, dance with them, and if they ask for your phone number, give it to them. You can’t continue to ruin our reputation.”

Y/N doesn’t need to verbalise her irritation; the eye roll so exaggerated she sees stars is a dead giveaway. Her mother tuts and the fingers on her skin practically pierce it.

“Don’t ruin tonight.” She releases Y/N to adjust her suit. She thinks it makes her look progressive, but she’s wrong - it gives her the same energy as Katie Hopkins. The very day her mother put on a suit, she knew she would never do the same thing. She would not Katie-Hopkins herself.

“I won’t,” she replies, but the lie is ignored in favour of greeting Lucius Malfoy, who stands just inside the gargantuan doors. Before Y/N was even born, the two families were close and they still are. She grew up knowing Lucius so - cold and unsettling though his demeanour is - his presence is a welcome familiarity in a sea of unease. Just because she isn’t sweating too, doesn’t mean Y/N isn’t just as nervous as her idiot mother. But she can’t feel completely grateful for his being there - where he is, Draco tends to be. And where Draco is, she wants to burn to the ground.

The glass Y/N presses to her lips is cool, deliciously freezing on her lips and fingers. She appreciates the chill while she drains its contents only the slam it on the bar without a second thought when finished. Per her mother’s words and glares, she has been peer-pressured into dance after dance with strangers at least twice her age and given her numbers to men old enough to be her grandfather all night and now, she thinks she might scream. She’s tired, she’s hot, her feet are blistering and she wants to go home. The bartender refills her glass with a pitying smile which she does not return, just knocks back the amber liquid and groans. 

Someone sits on the seat beside her own and she glances at it, for no real reason other than curiosity. The man is slender but toned, which she can tell even through the all-black suit he wears. It’s well-cut and exudes wealth. His hands, veins prominent and enough to make any girl ruin their underwear even without all those rings, throw down a phone and an almost full glass of something red. Y/N is practically drooling, then she sees the face.

Draco.

Ew.

He doesn’t look back at her, pointedly ignoring the glare she is so carelessly aiming at him, just growls the name of a drink and downs it in one gulp. His ashen hair is a mess and his brow is furrowed, eyes staring deep into the empty glass in front of him. His muscles tense and untense in quick succession a few times before they settle with staying tensed; he’s the epitome of “I’m pissed off”. Y/N leans on her forearms, smirking just a little.

“What happened, loverboy?” She asks, faking concern so poorly it’s laughable.

Draco doesn’t laugh.

“Did you realise your dad is hotter than you? Is that it?” She suggests. When Draco’s scowl deepens and he ignores her, her smirk grows. This night has been hellish; if she can at least get a bit of a rise out of this twat she’ll be content.

“‘Nother one,” he demands, glaring daggers at the poor bartender. She refills his glass and he drinks it bitterly. Y/N leans further forward, knowing how little Draco likes having people invading his personal space, most of all her. Now, with barely a metre between them, she can smell the heavy musk of whatever cologne he’s wearing. It smells like sex and deception. It’s nice.

“Aww, someone really is feeling grumpy, huh? But seriously, has it hit you yet how hot your dad is? I mean, I’d fuck him.” Y/N teases delightedly. The only times she can ever remember smiling around Draco were when she was ridiculing him and right now, she is having the time of her life. Draco’s hands are twitching and his lip is curling in disgust.

“My father will hear about this.” He spits, glaring at Y/N for a hard second until she slides her hand over his arm and leans closer. There’s now less than half a metre separating the pair and when Draco shifts in his seat, Y/N can tell the lack of distance clearly doesn’t just affect her. A glance down confirms this.

“I want nothing less. In fact, make sure you bring it up as often as you can.” She suggests, Draco’s hands almost crushing his glass even more encouragement.

“If you keep talking like this, I’ll make sure you never speak again. Got it?” He finally snaps. Y/N’s face falls, then she matches his scowl. She drinks the remains of her last refill and the pair of them sit in buzzing silence, saying nothing and still so much. It’s not like it’s a secret that he hates her, but that reaction was more than unnecessary. It’s not her fault his dad is more fuckable.

A familiar and unwelcome hand falls onto Y/N’s shoulder, startling her for a moment before she realises who it is, and her mother starts speaking. “Finally, we’ve been looking everywhere for you both. You’re having fun? Yes?”

Her mother is asking out of courtesy and to impress Lucius, who looks utterly unimpressed and unsettlingly effervescent. Although Y/N’s mother spent over a week deciding which hideously updated suit she would wear to attend this gala, Lucius is effortlessly and deliciously upstaging her. The muted grungy tones and styling of Y/N’s mother’s outfit look tacky beside Lucius’. The families may be well acquainted, but only one of the two knows how to really use their money. Her mother seems to be aware of the fact because she is now wearing far less of the gaudy accessories she showed up in. Hate them all she wants, Y/N has to admit that the Malfoys truly have made her night turn from a complete shit show to only a mild inconvenience. 

“How are you finding the gala, Y/N? Here only on Celene’s demands I don’t doubt.” Lucius states. He shakes his head at the very thought. 

“Not at all, it’s all for a good cause and any excuse to meet new people is a valid one.” She replies, lying out of her ass. The smallest of approving smiles twitches Lucius’ lips and he nods.

“Well, good for you. I had to drag Draco here by his ears.”

Draco looks even more furious at this statement, colour blooming on his pale skin, and he stands up abruptly, practically sending his stool into his father.

“I’m going.”

He starts to storm off and Y/N shields a smile. Pussy. 

“Oh no, you aren’t. Have you even asked Y/N if she wants to dance?” Lucius asks. His natural voice is chilly, but Y/N all but freezes over when he addresses Draco. She almost feels bad for him. But then again, he can be even colder to her; let the boy suffer.

“Here, Y/N, Draco,” Y/N’s mother says, yanking Y/N up by her arm, “Go dance together and stop sitting around like lemons.” 

Y/N screws up her nose. “Lemons?” She repeats incredulously, ready to argue simply about that word (her night might have been improved a little, but not enough for her to be unwilling to start unnecessary arguments) until she sees her mother’s face, sharp and ready to yell at her even with all the people around. She keeps her mouth closed. 

Mood now ruined, when Lucius glares Draco into offering out his hand, Y/N takes it with somehow even less enthusiasm, dragging her feet while they trudge to the dance floor. For all the grandeur and elegance of the clothes on the people around them, every single couple is shameless in their behaviour and it’s sickening to see so many middle-aged men and woman grinding and throwing it back. Bile rises in Y/N’s throat. She swallows it.

She assumes a half-hearted slow-dance position with Draco, her hands hanging off his shoulders and his limp on her waist. Neither one of them could be more clear in their dislike for one another, but Y/N’s weak swaying goes to some more rhythmic moving and mumbling when Crazy Girls by TOOPOOR (an unusual choice for a charity gala hosted for funding rehabilitation centres with mostly 40 years and over attendees) comes on. Draco watches her, still with that scowl on his face. 

“Lighten up, Draco,” Y/N sighs, spinning herself around to press herself to him, trying to encourage him to do more, “So what if your dad is a DILF, it’s not that deep.”

That is somehow what makes him interact with her. He grabs her by her hips and holds her against him, gripping her so tightly she wonders if she’ll wake up with bruises. “What the fuck did I say?” He snarls into her ear, breath sending goosebumps all over her body. Her breath hitches, catching for a moment in her throat before she composes herself. So what if he’s hot, and his hands are somewhere they probably shouldn’t be, and she’s pressed against him, and can feel every inch of him...

She’s sure there was a point to that train of thought.

“No idea,” she lies, breathing out heavily. The song has changed to something slower and heavier and his hips guide hers. His movements are skilled, deliberate and she’s melting against him without meaning to, “But I’m sure if your dad had said it it would have sounded better.”

The press of his fingers deepen in the flesh of her hips, “Stop talking about my fucking dad or I’ll make you.”

“Oh yeah?” She replies weakly. Normally she would have something to say back, a quip or a cruel comment, but with the feeling of him behind her, the scent of him invading her senses and the low words he whispers to her, she’s putty in his hands.

“Yeah. Wanna keep talking about him, bitch?” His voice softens on the final word. They might dislike each other, but never have they used unkind names. When he says it now, it doesn’t feel unkind.

“He would probably like it if I did.” Y/N murmurs, still trying to get a rise out of Draco. Her attempt is a success; Draco growls and instantly starts dragging her to the back of the room, storming through the throng of densely-packed people like they aren’t even there. Y/N stumbles on the bottom of her dress but Draco just keeps pulling until they get to a bathroom, slamming her against the wall and closing his hand around her throat. He presses enough to make her feel it, but not enough to suffocate her. Her heart is racing and he can tell; he smirks.

“Come on, keep talking.” He prompts, pressing harder on Y/N’s neck.

She shakes her head and his lips meet hers, aggressive and demanding and so damn hot. His lips are soft and drowning her, tongue exploring her mouth without warning and making her moan a little when one of his hands go from her waist to her breast, massaging it and making her arch her back. His hands are magic on her, he knows what he’s doing and he’s doing it well.

Until he steps back.

Lips swollen and skin flushed, Y/N pants. Those few minutes of passion felt like seconds, but she’s so out of breath she may as well have run a marathon. Draco watches her catch her breath, eyes stormy with the promise of more, while he slowly takes off his blazer, then his shirt. Y/N can do nothing but watch, watch dark fabric be stripped back to expose soft, defined skin. His body is even better than she has thought it would be; her breathing grows shallow again and Draco smirks, stepping back toward her. 

“You like what you see, huh? You think my dad looks this good?”

“Fuck, stop bringing up your dad.” Y/N breathes before capturing his lips in another violent kiss, running her hands over his skin. It’s as soft as her dress - probably softer - which reminds her that she’s still wearing it. Without detaching her lips from his, she inches the straps down her arms. Like he read her mind, Draco reaches behind her and unzips the back, looking down while he pulls the dress away. It’s cold in the bathroom without it and Y/N shivers. Draco looks back up, at her eyes for the first time she can ever remember. And he kisses her. Sweetly, kindly. It says that he’ll take care of her.

But the kiss was a lie, because he instantly grabs her hair and pulls, biting her exposed throat. His mouth strays lower, then he hooks his fingers around her panties and pulls them down, Y/N shakily undoing his belt and unzipping his trousers. Her whole body is shaking, breathing erratic and make-up probably a wreck, but she feels so good. She wishes she had pissed Draco off this much before.

“Up.” Draco growls and, when Y/N hesitates, picks her up by her thighs, fingers harsh and hard on her. She grips his shoulders and he shakes his hair out of his face before sliding inside her.

Fuck.

He’s so big she has to wonder if it’s even real, but when she looks down and watches him slowly disappear inside of her, she can do nothing but moan and drag her nails down his back. He grunts when he completely fills her, then slowly starts pulling out and pumping back in. Y/N’s whole body hums with the gold that now runs in her veins, honeyed curses falling into Draco’s skin while he digs his fingertips into her, pace getting really quick really fast. He puts his lips to her neck, to where his bites now mark her, and presses open-mouthed kisses to the sore skin in between sentences.

“Fuck, Y/N-”

“You feel so- good-”

“Oh, shit...”

“Look at you take it, you’re- you’re doing so well...”

Sweet phrases said in a growl that just make Y/N work harder to make him feel as good as she does, raking her hands through his hair and hazardously kissing whatever she can while he brutally thrusts into her, mercilessly fast when he realises she’s close to climaxing.

“Come on, Y/N,” he pants, biting her lip, “Wait for me, do it- together.”

She whines, throwing her head back. Draco raggedly chuckles before his face twists, still a vision of incomparable beauty. Y/N buries her face in his neck and he kisses the crown of her head without thought, encouraging her weakly. His thrusts are getting sloppy, uncoordinated; he’s close. She rolls her hips, making him moan, against him - the sooner he cums, the sooner she can.

“Draco, I-”

He wordlessly nods and she screams into his skin, awash with bliss and pleasure as her arousal soaks his cock. He grunts one last time, crushing Y/N’s thighs, and cums inside of her, filling her with his pleasure.

Y/N expects him to get dressed and go, act like what happened didn’t happen and would never be spoken about. But he doesn’t. He sits her on the closed toilet seat and cleans her, kissing where he was especially rough - with his hands or his lips - and smoothing his thumb over the already forming bruises.

“What do I tell my mum?” She whispers, letting him dress her because she knows she won’t be able to stay stood up long enough to do it herself. Draco turns her around and carefully zips the dress back up, slowly as though to savour touching her skin. He places a butterfly kiss at the nape of her neck.

“Just wear turtlenecks. I’ll call you a cab.” He says, buttoning up his shirt again. Y/N nods and he looks at her quickly, noting her sadness. “I’ll be in it too.”

Y/N smiles, avoiding looking at him directly when she does. Even after that, it feels bizarre to genuinely smile at Draco.

But when she turns her gaze back to him, he’s smiling. Properly, kindly smiling.

She smiles back.

[thememorandumblog]

Things I want to tell the person who I miss a lot and I wish all the best

This thing isn’t going to be proofread, so please forgive all the grammar and syntax errors :p

Also I know you deadass said NO REPLYING back to your letter, but like, I feel like I deserve to share my side of my story and the updates in my life. But also this is a great way to relief stress and actually confront what i’ve been feeling and thinking about for a long long long time.

Also I just wanted to use to time to talk to you, because I miss that a lot.

And I know that this might trigger you, so I’m gonna give you every opportunity to not read this by filling up space with the lyrics of iconic songs.

So if you need to preserve yourself, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT.

DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNLESS YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH ME!

Don’t scroll down if it’s only going to hurt you.

But I hope you are doing okay! I’ll be fine, but life is life, ya know?

I just feel like you deserve a response for the better.  

Also, like you trust me, don’t share this with anyone else

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"Deepthroat"

Hump me, fuck me

Daddy better make me choke (you better)

Hump me, fuck me

My tunnel loves a deep throat (it do)

Lick, lick, lick, lick (I lick)

I want to eat your dick (I do)

But I can't fuck up my nails (I can't)

So I'mma pick it up with chopsticks

Mouth wide open, mouth wide open

Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist

Mouth wide open, mouth wide open

Put it so deep, I can't speak a sentence

Mouth wide open, mouth wide open

Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist

Mouth wide open, mouth wide open

Put it so deep I can't speak a sentence

My fingers in it, gentle (yeah)

Explore this nigga mental

I'mma write my name on his dick (his dick)

Don't need a pen or a pencil (no I don't)

All I need is my body (my body)

My pussy pink just like salami (ooh!)

Don't need no drink to get naughty (no)

'Cause bitch I'm not Bill Cosby (I'm not)

My pussy mean, and it's clean (It is)

I'm not a squirter, I cream (squirt squirt!)

Keep it smelling like baby wipes

I never smell like sardines (ew!)

This will never fucking end (It won't)

Ballerina that dick when I spin (I spin)

I fucked this nigga so good

I ain't swallow one kid, I think I swallowed twins

Hump me, fuck me

Daddy better make me choke (you better)

Hump me, fuck me

My tunnel loves to deep throat (it do)

Lick, lick, lick, lick (I lick)

I want to eat your dick (I do)

But I can't fuck up my nails (I can't)

So I'mma pick it up with chopsticks

Mouth wide open, mouth wide open

Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist

Mouth wide open, mouth wide open

Put it so deep, I can't speak a sentence

Mouth wide open, mouth wide open

Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist

Mouth wide open, mouth wide open

Put it so deep I can't speak a sentence

Just come put it down my butt (my butt)

Let's shoot a movie, no cuts

Ride the dick, get my nipples licked

That's breastfeeding while we fuck (thirsty)

Finna get the dick wet and firm (firm)

You better sweat me out of my perm (my perm)

Can't wait 'til it's my turn

I wanna blow bubbles with sperm (right now)

Wanna hit it from the back

Let me arch my back

Once I arch my back

That mean attack this pussy

Don't need a porn star 'cause I'm the moderin (no)

I'mma spit on his dick sound like I'm gargling

Make him bust three nuts, is the task

My panties stuck in my ass

So I pulled them down to show him the pearl

Made his pubic hairs curl fast

Fuck this pussy

Fuck this pussy

Fuck this pussy

Come fuck this pussy

Fuck this pussy

Fuck this pussy

Fuck this pussy

Come fuck this pussy

Nuneul ttel suga eopseo

Neowa naui Eclipse

Nae nuneman boideon neo

Sondael su eopsi wiheom haessdeon

Woo boy

Nae mamdo

Neoege jakku deo kkeullyeo

Sarangi mwoga mwonji

A to Z ajikdo molla

Geunyang neoege ppajyeoissgo sipeo

Neoreul hyanghae manyang joreugo sipeun mam

Niga joha nan Cool

Il bun il cho nae saenggageun jeonbu

Neoro gadeuk Baby I'm Full

Jeomjeom tteugeopgo

Jeomjeom mot mallyeo

Jeomjeom dagaga

Simjangi ttwieo Cool

Eotteokhae na Cool

Ireon nae mam

Woo

Meonjeo gobaekhallae

Oh boy maeil nun tteun sunganbuteo

Baro saenggaknan neoran saram My boy

Neon eonjebuteo nae mam soge deureowassni Uh

Hey you

Chagawossdeon naega deowojyeo Wow

Sarangi mwoga mwonji

[Lyrics from: https:/lyrics.az/odd-eye-circle/mix-match/girl-front.html]

A to Z nado jal molla

Jakkuman nae mam neoegeman kkeullyeo

Neoreul hyanghae banjjak biccnago sipeun mam

Niga joha nan Cool

Il bun il cho nae saenggageun jeonbu

Neoro gadeuk Baby I'm Full

Jeomjeom tteugeopgo

Jeomjeom mot mallyeo

Jeomjeom dagaga

Simjangi ttwieo Cool

Eotteokhae na Cool

Ireon nae mam

Woo

Meonjeo gobaekhallae

Kkeuti eopsneun gose nama

Ojik neowa danduri

Heuryeojiji anhneun gieok

Oh kkaegi silheun eoje bamcheoreom

All Night

Ireon nae mami Cool

Geujeo geujeo nae mami ganeun gos

Niga issneun nan geogie

Jeomjeom gakkai

Jeomjeom nae gyeote

Jeomjeom dagaga

Simjangi ttwieo Cool

Sikhyeojullae Cool

Naega meonjeo

Woo

Saranghanda malhae

Okay those are the only two songs lmao

But like me take up more space

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[OKAY THIS IS THE PART WHERE I TELL ALL, SO PLEASE READ ONLY WHEN YOU’RE READY]

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Okay hey sister lol

Thanks for the letter via Tumblr. I really appreciate it. I miss talking to you so much, because you are one of the few people that just gets it. Though you are a Scorpio, and I am a Sagittarius, I feel like we are one in the same. It’s like Gay PEMDAS right? The quadratic equation, but for emotional expression? The law of conversation of energy and mass, but like for gays who don’t know how to act?? No shade obviously because i am @ing myself.

But to quickly get to your question about whether or not I am alright, the answer is complicated.

Like I know I will be okay. I know it deep in my heart. But the constant battle with depression and anxiety clouds my vision so much. I’ve always experienced a sense of emptiness in my life. Like not deep sorrow, although I have definitely felt that, but like an absence of any emotion to the point that everything is numb and i dissociate into a void. Sometimes I feel like I only exist physically, but my mind is elsewhere. Locked away. Okay that was dramatic, but I am such a dramatic gay. It’s funny how other gay-PIAS have called me “mysterious” or “artsy” or some shit like that. In reality, I’m just depressed. But like none of this was because of my social interactions in college. It’s brain chemistry and shit, which sucks. And yes, to get all public health, I do realize there are a lot of ~*social determinants of health*~ that play into it. We stan. But that’s neither here or there for this conversation.

This semester has been a lot for me for a variety of reasons. I have been having troubling coping with it all or even internalizing what’s going on around me. This semester is tough, and I don’t feel quite like myself. Are the planets misaligned or something? Things are just different for no reason, and that’s frustrating as fuck. Could that possibly be the growing pains of senior year at a university that I didn’t really want to go to? IDK but like I’m still having tons of fun regardless (take that depression and anxiety!) Life is a lot of ups and downs, and I’m just trying to roll with it one day at a time. That’s what my sister told me in times where I was so unsure about myself. And it helps out a lot.

And yeah, I dropped UAAO co-chair lmao

It was just too fucking much in the sense that I can no longer be an advocate for the community because I do not have the emotional or mental capacity to do that. Also I felt like I was expected to take on that role, and that pressure mislead me to run. I’m really glad my board is empathic and understands why I chose to step down. I’m just really tired of it all, and I know it’s for the best. I still love hanging out with the people I’ve made close friends with tho! There is a lot going on to why I dropped, but maybe if we hang out in person, I can tell you more. Otherwise, this letter would be super fucking long.

Also one of the reasons why I seem to be not alright is because our public health classes kinda suck this year lmao Like what are we learning, and like, is it over?

I remember one time in Vic’s class when we were talking about mental health, we went over the concept of social support. And then A** proceeded to have a self-indulged circle jerk of one yet again. Like we get it! You vote! Trump sucks! What else is new??!??!!? The United States is a colonial, imperialistic entity! We knew!!

Anyway, the point is that I really miss talking to you. I totally agree that we connect on a level that is different than anyone else here at UMich. Like besides the fact we both are extremely and utterly homosexual, our minds… I miss that I can make super specific pop culture references, and you immediately get it and vice versa. I really just want to watch rupaul’s drag race in the fishbowl on full volume because it’s that’s what we call justice for gay rights.

But beyond the connections with all the pop culture shit we consume on the day-to-day, our friendship meant so much to me. Tbh, my immediate first impression of you in the Markley dorm was that I wanted to be friends with you. And I’m glad I was. And hopefully, we can be friends again, because I would really really really like that.

I appreciate the fact that it just made perfect sense that we were good friends. We kinda just got each other. And honestly, our friendship helped me come out to myself and become the gay I knew I always was. The other day Colin, called me a top-tier gay, and that made me smile because I think you and I are highkey top-tier gays in the A/PIA world. No one can tell me otherwise, or that’s kinda homophobic :/ I’ve always felt honored that you thought so highly of me. And honestly, I feel like the only opinion I care about in terms of UAAO leadership is yours (and my ex-chair Kathie lmao oh and Lloyd because obviously Lloydsey.)

Our friendship made me feel unstoppable honestly. Like no matter what happens, I know that you always had my back and would actually fight. And I still sort of feel that even if we aren’t as close as we used to be. And tbh, that feeling of invincibility is super rare for me. Because opposite to you, I’m afraid of a lot of things. I overthink a lot of things because of that.

Khang, I’m deeply sorry for what happened between us. Maybe I should have been more up-front or maybe I should have said something or maybe I should have realized. I don’t know. I wish none of this or that ever happened. And I’m sorry I didn’t feel the same although you told me at the FASA party that I have no reason to feel sorry. I still do. That’s just me. I will always feel guilty for hurting someone so close to me. But also don’t feel sorry for me either that I feel sorry if that makes sense. Which I don’t know if anything I am saying right now makes sense.  

And I’m glad you are doing a lot better! It’s what you deserve. When I think about you, I can only think about the good in your heart... That and all the gay porn you posted on your finsta.

I don’t want our friendship to be a memory. It would be so great to make new memories and repeat some of the great ones. Screaming the lyrics to Deepthroat. Talking shit. Sadako lunch! Mason hall classrooms. How SPH undergrad kinda blows but that’s okay lol. And there is so much I want to talk to you about. I want to talk about boys with you. I want to talk about career aspirations and shit. And like just exist as friends.

Also, my break-up with that one person has been a motherfucking nightmare, I feel like you would have some good insight on what I should do, because girl… *Laganja voice* THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH.

However, what I want most of all is to know that you are okay and thriving. And if that means there is going to have to be some space between us, then I completely understand. Although it kinda makes me sad that you sometimes have to ignore me in real life, I completely understand. I want nothing more than your happiness and well-being. I can wait as long as humanly possible. And even if that means we ultimately won’t be friends, then that’s fine. At least I know that you are doing well in life! I want you to pursue your mission to be fully present and not to worry about the uncertain future.

I feel like I’ll be fine. Who can never be sure? JK I know I will hopefully akdjlfaslfjasklfjaslkfdjklasjflaksjfdas;kfdjasl;fjaslk;fjd

If what you said in your letter is still a thing--the part about me needing a friend, then I would love to take you up on that offer. Because I could always use a friend like you in any way you feel is best for you. I mean, I fucking miss when you send me videos, memes, and things that would never fail to make me laugh.

I’ll always be rooting for you! And I feel like you will always root for me too. And that makes me glad we’ve crossed paths.

xxxxxxx

P.S. Sorry if any of this does not make sense. I’m just so random xD

P.S.S. Also please don’t share any of this to anyone. WE HAVE AN UNOFFICIAL DEAL BECAUSE WE BOTH OF WRITING TUMBLRS