#oh yaevinn

[citriarchive]

one of the potential Soulmate AU Tropes™ was/is feeling the same emotions your soulmate does and i'm just thinking that that must be the absolute worst time to be "Mr. All Of My Tomodachi Life Catchphrases Are 'I'm Fine'" and have a soulmate who is "Mr. Feeling Everything All The Time All At Once". like me personally, i think i'd just die if i randomly felt waves of his emotions when they changed. and i put a lot of myself into him. the call is coming from inside the house.

in addition it's going to be very interesting when nithral inevitably tells yaevinn that he's fine when he's not and yaevinn is just like. ok i'm gonna let this go until you're ready to talk abt it but you know i know that's not true right. like it's not a hunch this isn't me being perceptive. like you. you know i know right. ok just making sure ok ok i'm letting it go for now

[here-comes-the-bard]

i genuinely think that among the many things that would snap this twink in half like a fucking twig the biggest would be that he is, in fact, nothing more than a puppet through which fate (read: the players and the dice) enacts its whims. imagine finding out that all of your suffering was because some asshole was like "i'm gonna put you in a Situation™" like. what do you even do. it's not like you can stop it. it's a force beyond your comprehension. even if you're aware of it there's nothing you can do. you just have the awareness that every choice you make is left up to the whims of some nerds having silly fun times or forces that are beyond even THEIR control. ttrpgs are fucked up in the way that second-person narrative is fucked up (the way i like to use it).

[limerental]

actually I think it would be funny if isengrim was already not that good-looking by elf beauty standards before his scars. humans like "Oh my... there is nothing left of his elven beauty..." and toruviel and yaevinn snickering in the background and nudging each other like "pffffff what elven beauty, mate? he was just average. face only a mother could love"

[humble-althemist]

having one of those lonesome ‘oh man I just wanna talk to somebody about Yaevinn x Geralt rn’ kinds of nights

[inexplicifics]

I love the Barmin and Keldar fluff - I had been wondering what the oldest Witchers thought about everything. I'd thought they might be old enough to remember the beginning of the Schools and I'm glad to see I was right! And That Toast *chef's kiss*. I can just imaging Yaevin sitting down with the oldest Witchers from each school and just...weeping at the full richness of history they hold. He could live a whole life and not write it all. Do they remember the beginning of Nilfgaard? End of Elves?

Oh yes, Yaevinn considers the oldest Witchers to be absolute treasure troves, and several of them are probably willing to sit down and let him pelt them with questions.

[ainti-pretty]

scoia'tael driving headcanons in a modern au. best to worst driver. :-)

THANK U SO MUCH I LOVE YOU

cedric is the best. he drives a mom van and doesnt experience road rage. his only flaw is that he plays only fuckboy music

iorveths not a bad driver, but he certainly isnt great. he follows (most) of the road rules, but he does switch between driving WAY over the speed limit, or WAY under the speed limit. compared to everyone else, hes not the worst though

ciaran... sweet sweet ciaran... he drives unbelievably slow and gets lost every single time... he has to use a gps everywhere he goes

isengrim slams on the breaks and ONLY makes sharp turns. he doesnt know the right of way laws, but he tries his best. he doesnt know his right from his left either.

yaevinn. he drives a pickup truck, and drives like a white dad but WORSE. he swerves, doesnt use his blinker, and honks whenever he reaches the slightest bit of traffic. its his biggest character flaw...

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eldain. oh god. eldain... man experiences road rage like no other. he has stopped the car to yell at people. he has fought people. he speeds everywhere he goes (unless isengrims in the car) and by some miracle never has gotten pulled over. he's terrible. its awful.

[lesbiansforboromir]

Didn't know you were playing the Witcher! I love that game! How are you liking it so far?

Oh this is my fourth playthrough and you can tell it’s for comfort and not for serious because I can’t remember which world state I loaded in so I’m tentatively approaching Roche like ‘heeyyyyyy buddy... we ARE buddies right?’ anyway I love the game and you can tell it’s good because every third ambient dialogue in that game is about sexual violence and yet STILL I literally adore it beyond belief, the books too! Beyond rhyme or reason! Be a good dad: the game, contract work simulation, Geralt has the energy of a plumber who arrives at your flooded house after you tried to fix the problem yourself, what an iconic concept for a franchise. I also keep forgetting how GOOD Zoltan is, it hits me so hard everytime.

Still can’t understand why they left out Iorveth, like fine! But give me Yaevinn then! Actually i woulda preferred Yaevinn... Anyway! It’s a bloody good game and it even has a like legitimately satisfying ending. Twice! 

[citriarchive]

i think nithvinn should go on archery dates. what au is this intended for? yes.

[here-comes-the-bard]

yaevinn watching his not-particularly-demonstrative partner get excited about things with hearts and stars in his eyes like "i love you and i love your love for the things you care about and i am forever kissing you in my mind". same with open laughter. like oh worm? you feel safe enough to be more open around me? do you have any idea how proud of you i am?? do you know how much i love you and how thankful i am to be someone you consider safe??? get in my arms????

idk i think yaevinn is very open about how proud he is of nithral and how genuinely wonderful he finds him because honestly that's just how yaevinn is. he is so proud of nithral always. he's happy nithral is in his life. and he's gonna show it. and it's not like he's secretive about it to begin with lol even before they got romantically involved he was like "hey i think you're really cool. i like you a lot. yes you who else would i be talking to ya goof".

like. you know how i say "yaevinn is just happy to be included". that also applies to nithral letting him into his life.

[limerental]

I'm at 19.6k and doing my favorite thing right now where I chuck characters together who never got to meet in canon because I think its very fun

"You know, I promised myself I'd break both of Geralt's ankles if I ever saw him again. Kind of ironic given he only did it to protect you, and now you've burst in to save my life."

“To protect me from you?” she asked. A little of her brazen confidence waned, a careful wariness sneaking in. It was the tone of a person who had been fucked over more times than she could count and didn't feel much like repeating old mistakes. “What were you going to do to me?”

“Nothing awful. Offer you protection in Redania,” Dijkstra said. “You’d have been married off to the young prince Radovid, most likely. I’m sure Philippa had plans of her own.”

All of that felt like another lifetime. Things that happened to a very different man. His petty concerns at the Thanned Banquet… His lingering affections for Phil… His swaggering confidence that he had enough of the details to foresee the future of the Continent and his role in it…

“Oh yes, Philippa had her plans," Ciri said. "Everyone had their plans for me, so I won’t hold it against you. Unless you’d still like me to marry that twat of a prince?”

“Fuck no. I’m retired.”

“Good, good. I didn’t really want to break your other ankle.”

“What happened to Geralt anyway?” asked Dijkstra. “Triss Merigold said that… well. Rumors are my business, but I know not to trust every story you hear.”

"Geralt and Mama are dead," Ciri said simply. "For now, at least."

"You say some truly bizarre nonsense, Cirilla of Vengerberg. And I've heard a lot of bizarre nonsense,” drawled Iorveth.

"I try! Now hurry up. Hop to it! They're getting testy up there, I bet." She took another long sip from her drink. Her nose wrinkled. "Agh, I do think they used oat milk again, though I asked for whole. Cereal grains don't even have tits, you know?"

"She's insane," said Toruviel.

"Oh well, she's rescued us," said Yaevinn. "Faolitiarna’s in danger. She's welcome to go on about oat tits if she likes."

"Come along then. There are bound to be plot relevant things happening while you lot dilly-dally."

[heavysass]

I HAVE FINISHED THE WITCHER AFTER 62 HOURS, here's my EPIC GAMER REVIEW

the basic gameplay itself is fun. study monsters, fuck yourself up with potions, beat monsters to death. quest design with investigation and multiple options and ways to finish them is fun too. the story itself is such a drag tho, and the community's 'it doesnt matter because the games arent canon' attitude doesnt help, like why are you playing a 50 hour long thing just to go around proclaiming its not canon anyway, there are very few characters that i care about, and by very few i mean 2, women are not allowed to be normal, every one of them gets the no personality sex machine treatment except the old crone cthulhu worshipper, weird racist plot where the main antagonist is scary dark mystical man from scary foreign savage lands and he is a feral beast, being the only black character there makes this mmmmmm, the swamp maps are hell to navigate on, you can easily miss quests if you progress a bit, game has a bunch of crashing loading screens, i wish i could beat yaevinns little bitxh ass motherfucker ass in a friendly way and take sigfried's virginity myself, item stacking limit is annoying as hell and i had to mod that, bad inventory organization overall, generic porn naked woman is at least 7 different npcs or monsters, the romantic plot there FUCKING SUCKS no matter if you go with shani or triss as it feels pained and forced and demolishes every crumb of personality both of them had at the beginning and reduces the only women with a shred of character to catfighting jealous girls, game forces you to make oh so moral choices but since it rarely actually hit i just didnt give a fuck, the infertility subtheme is cringe as shit, you can have sex after just having rescued a woman from being gangraped in at least 3 different occasions, TOO MANY DROWNERS, many situational useless perks like the alcohol and fisfighting ones, very questionable designs like you just watched a innocent young woman get murdered and when you talk to her ghost the game camera focuses on her purposefully ripped at the ass dress???, blacksmiths and crafting are pretty much useless of you got potions and bombs figured out since you will get better weapons in important quests anyway, which also makes all the runes and meteorites you collect useless too, unbalanced economy where you get a lot of money late game when you need nothing but early buys are very expensive, the third sword is unnecessary, yrden is funny and you can cheese a bunch of fights with it it's a bit funny, the fucking zeugl fight,,also the wiki is varely helpful it is just some guy rileplaying dandelion there and writing it all in prose or as if it was his own diary. pros?? dandelion is quite nice actually and i hadnt expected him to be that much of a friend to geralt, thought the geraskier shippers were forcing that one but no, there's more going on emotionally between those two than with triss or shani, being allowed to swap from over the shoulder to isometric view is perfect, also the funny science monkey guy

guess that's it, i am not touching another witcher game ever again thanks

[woodlandelk]

My Scoia´tael Headcanon

I will not get tired botherin the internet with this. I want this to be a thing. And it´s approved (and developed) with @soukyan :D

Elves, especially Scoia´tael, are suckers for jam. (Since in the books it´s mentioned that Yennefer can´t make jam, we know it exists in the Witcher Universe!)

Whenever they raid a farm or  village, one or two elves have the special task to steal the jam. Because jam is importat for morals! If they can´t carry everything, they would rather abandon the wine, but never the jam.

Raspberry jam goes immediately to Iorveth. Oh, don´t dare to open a jar of raspberry jam without his permission... Seriously, touch it and he will go postal.

Faoiltiarna goes for blackberry jam. It´s dark and bloodlike and blackberry plants are thorny...

Yaevinn, our dark poet of war, loves black currant jam. I mean... no one likes black currant jam, but Yaevinn is always a bit extreme.

Toruviel, likes all kind of berry jams, but for her you have to add a pinch of rosewater. She once got those from the kitchen storage of a Temerian Lord they attacked and therefore prefers to ambush rich dh’oine.

Dyaebl, OC of @soukyan, favors cherry jam, and my OC Yaedreth loves strawberry.

[thewitchersloneliestship]

Just wanted to say that I also ship the heck out of Geralt and Yaevinn and I feel your pain mate

oh man hell yeah. misery loves company right? welcome aboard ;)

[inexplicifics]

ack! i said "julita" when i meant "livi: accidental historian." yaevinn will weep with joy at her record keeping.

Oh, yes, Yaevinn will be very vocally approving of Livi’s organizational skills!

[lady-hammerlock]

Siegfried of Denesle, Yaevinn, Cahir and Dandelion ( ;D )

SIEGFRIEND ( I mis-typed that and then decided his name could stay that way)

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: Dude is super brave and actually out there fighting monsters unlike pretty much every other member of the Order. Good job Siegfried.worst quality: Why he gotta have so many racist friends?ship them with: No-one really.brotp them with: Geralt? Sort of?needs to stay away from: The other members of the order. They are a bad influence. Also the Scoia’tael.misc. thoughts: I really wish he wasn’t a member of the Order of the Flaming Rose, because he’s a pretty cool guy apart from that. I haven’t finished the first game yet, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have to kill him and I kind of don’t want to because he’s an okay dude.

YAEVINN

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (Can’t make up my mind which one he would be...)best quality: The way he speaks. He’s super eloquent and fun to talk to. Also, this is going to sound really shallow, but he’s just so pretty... 0-0worst quality: Same as Siegfried. Why you gotta have so many racist friends? Although I’d side with the Scoia’tael over the Order any day.ship them with: Eh. I could be convinced to ship him with Toruviel or Iorveth, but I don’t know if I ship them exactly?brotp them with: I guess Toruviel and Iorveth again?needs to stay away from: Novigrad. They're mean to elves there... >>misc. thoughts: I think I actually like Siegfried more as a character, but I’m siding with the Scoia’tael anyway because morals... XP I do like Yaevinn though.

CAHIR

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral (if you mean the cover art version) | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot (if we’re talking about the Gwent version) | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: Not a Nilfgaardian... *sniggers* Also, character development wise he’s great.worst quality: The Ciri thing. Really. Just... Really? Urgh...ship them with: Hrm... No-one at the moment. Sway me people. Who should I ship Cahir with?brotp them with: The rest of the hansa. :)needs to stay away from: Ciri. No. Not for you.misc. thoughts: Sir, why can’t you have a more pronounceable name? 0-0 Also, I am sorry Cahir. You do not deserve Ciri, but you still deserve better than what you got.

DANDELION!!! :D 

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: Pfff. Everything. If we want to get specific though, his loyalty and his wit. Oh, and his philosophizing. And his emotional maturity/wisdom. And his smile... You get the idea.worst quality: Dude, can you maybe not sleep with a new woman every week or so? No? Fine, carry on then. Like I care. At least he’s nice to them. XPship them with: Geralt, Priscilla and Milva in that order of preference.brotp them with: Geralt. (Can you OTP and BROTP the same pair? Hrm...) Zoltan, Dudu and Ciri plus the entire hansa. Dandelion gets all the friends.needs to stay away from: Djinns, Yennefer, Djikstra and anyone who might want to hurt him.misc. thoughts: I just finished watching the 2002 tv series and could make a ridiculously long post just about my thoughts on Dandelion in that (such a cinnamon roll... He puts up with so much from Geralt in that but stays by his side because he just loves him so much...) 

Also, I sort of wish that the books and other games were just as popular as the Witcher 3, because Dandelion was criminally underrated in 3 and consequently the fandom doesn’t love him nearly as much as they should. Way too many misc. thoughts about Dandelion but I will sum them up with; Dandelion is love! :D

[citriarchive]

tripped and fell and whoops nithral has a leitmotif now. how did i let this happen. how could i do this to him. nithral i'm sorry