#oiii what the heck

[original-punks]

Foo Fighters

Wellington 2024

[obeymeshallwedateaddict]

The secret to Lucifer's happiness

Hm I've been asking myself.. how do we make Lucifer happy? Is there even a way? Well maybe there is..

GN!MC

You can find more of my work here: Masterlist

............................................................................

Random day in the Devildom. Everyone's in the room, doing their own thing.

Asmo: MC~ How do you please Lucifer? Can you give us a step by step tutorial?

Levi: Yeah, that's a great question!

You look over at the two demons as a sadistic smirk appears on your face.

MC: I'll gladly share with you this little secret of mine..

You chuckle before speaking up again.

MC: So the first step is to find Mammon. Either walk up to him. Track him down or just yell "MAAAMMOOOONNN" as loud as you can.

Lucifer: *side eyeing MC while reading a book.*

Mammon: YO, HUMAN! Folks said Lucifer not ME.

Satan: Mammon be patient.

Belphie: Let MC cook.

Beel: Did someone say cook?

MC: When you finally have Mammon in front of you, look him dead in the eyes and say...

(MC takes a deep breath)

MC: "Mammon. When Lucifer is yelling at you say Dont!"

Mammon looking confused.

Lucifer secretly smirking behind the book.

MC: then say... "And when he is beating you say Stop!"

Everyone's listening closely.

Mammon: The heck? Why?

Satan: Mammon, shut up for a second.

(Lucifer already knowing where this is going and is ready to burst out laughing.)

MC: So when Lucifer is yelling at Mammon and beating him up at the same time Mammon will scream "DON'T STOP".

Satan and Asmo giggling.

Levi (who has the whole thing filmed) creating a new hashtag in Devilgram. "#MCjustknockedMammonLAMFAOlolol"

Beel is innocently devouring food.

Belphie is watching every letter that Levi types on his phone, laughing. HARD. While being half asleep.

Lucifer already laughing along. SADISTICALLY

Mammon: OIII MC WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL??

MC: So that should please Lucifer since he is a sadist and hearing Mammon tell him to continue will make him happy! End of story! Applause please!

Meanwhile everyone's laughing on top of their lungs while Mammon is just standing there dumbfounded. And grumpy.

[dabiscrustyfeet]

How about some crack, mc goes around bonking everyone on the head saying “bonk of friendship” their also very smol,

I have no words. This is beautiful my love- just *chef’s kiss*

I didnt know if you wanted the brother or the whole cast, so i just did the bros btw

GN Mc giving the sins the ‘bonk of friendship’

Lucifer

Lucifer was doing his work, in his study

And nobody knows how the heck to get in said study room, because you need to get in via a correct phrase, which no one knows

Apart from mammon

Hell, lucifer doesn’t know that mammon knows either

Now, mammon doesn’t go around telling everyone the password to the study, he can keep a secret mkay

But you are special

Mammon got bribed. You know owe him a years worth of cuddles.

He given you the password which was the name of lucifer’s favourite classical piece.

Now you were dead set on completing your mission

You opened the door to the study, and you saw lucifer typing some things onto a laptop

The man was very sleep deprived – you could tell in his eyes

Like each eye was blinking on different times

His eyes are like U👄👁

And that almost made you feel bad for what you were about to do

Key word : Almost

You made your way to lucifer, walking with absolute confidence

Your fist was ready and you raised it over your head annd

Bonk

Lucifer didn’t even blink

He just stopped typing

Turns his head and looks at you with so much disappointment

He blinked slowly

“Why?”

That was it. You were expecting him to have a better reaction, but oh well

“That was a bonk of friendship, luci”

“But… why?”

You knew the man needed some sleep when he didn’t tell you to ‘sToP CaLLinG mE LuCI’

😬 you need to get him some coffee my guy he’s way too out of it

Mammon

After you made the old man some coffee and forced him to sleep cuz you felt bad, you went after your next victim

Mammon who is defo not my favourite what you talking about

Normally, you wouldn’t attack him like this

But he unfortunately for him was teasing you cuz you were ✨short✨

So, just like satan told you, revenge is best served cold 🙂

So you found mammon, who was munching on some rice, and you decided this is a great time to attack him

You’re just standing in the door way like 🧍‍♀️

And you locked eyes with mammon

If mammon hates anything, its always eye contact

So he slowly is getting anxious cuz ‘ what the fuck did i do now? Why the heck are they staring at me like that?’

You’re both just staring at each other like 👁👄👁

🎶Prolonged eye contact 🎶

You walked up to him, slowly, and mammon thought he was gonna have a heart attack

Fully stopped eating so he wont choke on his food

You’re now leaning over the table and mammon be like 🎱👄🎱

MC stop your giving the poor guy heart palpitations

Never has any horror movie scared the daylights out of him like this before

And you just smile at him like 😀 ‘hey mammon’

Mammon felt his soul ascend – he’s scared shitless

‘🙂 hey’

What have you done mc, look he’s got anxiety

You needed to calm him down so you were gonna pet his head

Mammon sees your hand coming to his head and this guy flinches

Well you’re gonna have to have a ‘chat’ with lucifer but thats for another day

He lets you stroke his hair, and he slowly calms down

And your smile became evil

You pet his head on last time and

Bonk on his head

‘Oiii the fuck was that for?!’

Oh no he’s pouting

‘Bonk of friendship mams’ is what you said

‘Awww mc 😊’

‘That was also revenge for you calling me short’

Annnd he’s pouting again

‘But mc it was only teasing– mc wAiT’

You owe him two years worth of cuddles now

Leviathan

After you scared mammon shitless, you decided to go and find a new victim

Target found : levi

This guy was doing what he normally does, gaming

But he was in a gamers rage

No way you were gonna get caught in his rage

First of all, he may take 50 years of your life away, you dont want that

So you waited for him to calm down. That took three hours

Now you’re pissed, because he wasted your time, and time is money mammons antics is rubbing off of you

So you walk up to him and he looks at you

Damn him

You say nothing and you walk up to him

You know how some cats just stare at you unblinking whenever you move?

Ye thats what he’s doing and it was getting creepy

You stand in front of him. Thats it

‘Err- you good?’

You raise your hand

Bonk. Mission accomplished

Levi is now blinking veery slowly

He looked confused ngl

Babes he needs an explanation

So you do

Le gasp ‘You think of me … as a friend?!!!’

Pls he’s precious

‘Yes i do levi’

Cue happy snek noises -wait is he purring?

He’s a bit too happy cuz he accidentally turned into his demon form and his tail is wagging- wait nope it has curled itself around your waist

Aww look at him isnt he adorable

Ye btw ya cant move anymore you’re on his lap and he’s hugging you

So now you’re stuck

This is your life now

Dont you dare move you monster

Satan

Our precious snek boi let go of you to watch another series that just dropped

So, after you had your serotonin boost, you made your way to the resident cat/demon

He, too, committed the crime of teasing your height. Which was uNacCEpTAblE

You thought he was an ally, but i guess you cant trust even your friends

So you start trekking to the mans room

Well would you look at that, he ain’t even here

Next stop: the library

He isn’t here either

Thats strange

Theres only one place you haven’t checked mc

You went outside and there was that twat

He was pretty much baby talking to a cat

You pulled your phone out and started recording

Yes this is revenge and le video is for blackmail

Once you’ve had enough evidence

You walk up to the man

Shoulders rolled back

Head held high

Fist raised above your head

✨Le bonk✨

The baby talking stopped

Satan is just sitting there with a blank face

You know how you always explain that the bonk is a blessing is a bonk of friendship

Yeah you didn’t say shit

So you’re standing there, fist still on his head

The cat runs away

That all you need to know

You officially fucked up MC how you gonna get outta this one

You leg it

Thats it. You took off

He’s tailing you

He’s coming closer

Time for the big guns

‘It was a bonk of friendship’ you say

He says ‘imma give you my own bonk of friendship c’mere’

Yeaah no nope not happening

Time for the other big guns

‘I have a video of you baby talking to a cat’

He stops running and walks the other way

‘Ye thats what i thought bitch’

Ye he heard you

Good luck. You’ll need it

Asmodeus

After you said that unnecessary comment, you legged it to asmo’s room

And you remembered your mission

Target: found

Now, asmo was just minding his business

He was doing his hair, face mask on, talking about some gossip he heard in the fall

I don’t know why you would try bonk his head

While he has a hair mask on

But you don’t care do you? You do

You were not going to touch whatever abomination is in his mask not without gloves

And there were no gloves

So you had to wait im afraid

Two hours later, asmo’s hair was dried, styled and looking like absolute ✨heaven✨

It made you feel bad, but, you gotta do what you gotta do

So you came up behind him

‘Yes MC, what do you need dear? Is the mask irritating your skin?’

Damn Asmodeus and his bloody mirrors

And you also forgot that you had a god forsaken mask on

So now you have to wait even longer

And obviously to pass time, you decided not to be suspicious and just let asmo do whatever on you

And boii who knew he was amazing at massaging

All them knots and tenses in your muscles were now gone

So now you’re a puddle of goo on his bed

Which almost made you forget your mission

But you didn’t

Creeping up behind him, you made sure there were no mirrors to ruin your plan.

Now MC, you aren’t going to mess his hair thats not the point. You just have to give him a bonk

So you raised your fist, stopped middway, uncurled your hand, and placed your flat hand on his head

You messed his hair up

Asmo is eerily silent.

You look at his face and his eyes are widened

He also has a little smile on his face

He is now in his demon form

I warned you but you didn’t listen did you

Mission accomplished unsuccessfully : you are running from your victim

Beelzebub

You will now hide away from the hoes that are still chasing after you with beel

Satan and Asmo are the hoes [they joined forces good luck]

Beel is working out

Doing push ups without using his hands – those are holding his waffles

Yeah he makes all them gym bros look weak af

But this ain’t about gym bros, this is about you and your mission

But your stomach had other plans

And now that waffle in beel’s hand be looking very appetising

‘You want it MC? Here I have more’

People who share their food are amazing and i love you

So you both are munching on your food

And your stomach is satisfied

Beel is still working out and is eating a sandwich god knows where he got it from

You shall now commence with the bonking

You’re already sitting next to him, so all you have to do is raise your fist and bonk his head

And so you do

The guy has not even flinched

I don’t think he felt it

Guess you’ll have to try again

So you bonk his head again

And beel still doesn’t feel a thing

The mans head is made out of steel

So you try bonking his head again

But this time he notices

And says that punches like that wont do any harm

And he decided that you need to be taught how to punch properly so that you can defend yourself from demons

‘I was just trying to give you a bonk of friendship, beel,’ you deadpanned

‘Oh’

Beel is now happy

He gives you a pat of friendship cuz we both know if he bonked you, you would be expired

‘Do you still want to learn how to punch properly, MC?’

Yeaah no getting out of this one

Beel is a menace as much as he is sweetheart

He does lowkey want to see you beat the heck out of people

Belphegor

After you went through what was definitely called military training

You went to find your new target

And there he was, sleeping as usual

This was definitely gonna be a piece of cake

Or so you thought

This fuck opened one of his eyes and stared at you

Staring into your soul

You were getting creeped out

Plan B

You walk up to him and he’s still staring at you

You sit on his bed, and start patting his hair

Now belphie is sighing in content

‘MC, do you know why satan is mad?’

Well shit

‘I don’t know, i didn’t see him today’

Hopefully he bought that excuse

‘Mkay’

He goes back to sleep

How are going to bonk him

Belphie doesn’t like it when he gets forced to wake up

I mean, he pretty much ended a lot of careers and lucifer banned everyone from speaking about speaking about that incident

Poor guy gets flashbacks from it

Well you don’t fear a mere cow

Thats a lie

But you’ll be damned if you don’t try at least

So you pat his hair down

His hair looks greasy but its real soft like what the heck

I guess we forgot he lives with asmo

So you continue patting his hair

Bonk

You look down at him and see that he’s staring at you again

‘Why did you wake me up?’

You can’t run MC, just answer him

‘That was a bonk of friendship’

‘Oh okay’

You pretend not to see it, but his cheeks were tinted red

He didn’t really think that you would consider him a friend after everything that he done to you

He really appreciates it, MC

And he’s now purring

‘MC sweetie where are you’

Well shit

You forgot about those two

‘Is that not asmo?’

‘Yes belphie it is’

So belphie decided to just sit there and wait

And the door to the attic bursts open and theres the fourth and firth born in their demon forms

Lets just say this was a one way ticket to the hospital and a three hour lecture from the doctor

MC you’re killing him, you’re killing lucifer

I am so sorry this took so long darling

[the-himawari]

A3! Settsu Banri - Translation [SSR] MANKAI Memory (2/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Muku: Umm, this is…

Banri: Isn’t that the dragon’s tail?

Muku: Ah, you’re right!

Kumon: Erm! I have no idea where this goes~!

Banri: That looks like the background, so it goes over here.

Kumon: I see! The colours do look alike! ‘Kay, I’ll look for the perfect fit around here.

Taichi: That’s Ban-chan for ya! We’ll finish this in no time~!

Banri: …

*flashback starts*

Banri’s friend: You bought “Forester Knights” too, Banri! Let’s play it together!

Banri: Yeah, sure.

Banri’s friend: You just started, right, Banri? I’ve made a lot of progress already~. But it’s pretty hard to move on past here.

Banri: Heh~.

-pause-

Banri’s friend: Yeah, yeah! This stage was super hard~!

Banri: Oh, do it like this here… and there we go. Skip to here… okay, cool.

Banri’s friend: EHH!

Banri: Defeat this enemy, and… Woo, cleared! Onto the next stage.

Banri’s friend: …What the heck? …This is boring.

-pause-

Banri: Umm, next up is…

Banri’s friend: Oi, Banri. I’m tired of this game now. Let’s do somethin’ else.

Banri: What the? You’re the one who said you wanted to play together though.

Banri’s friend: Well, I changed my mind! Don’t you have anythin’ else?

Banri: Ahh, come to think of it… How’s this?

Banri’s friend: Isn’t this an Arc Knight Dragon puzzle! Sick!

Banri: I bought it together with the game, but I haven’t put it together yet. Now’s a good chance, so wanna do it?

Banri’s friend: But it has 1000 pieces. Isn’t that gonna be hard?

Banri: I mean, I bet it’ll be tough.

Banri’s friend: But we’d be amazin’ if we manage to complete it, right!

Banri: Yeah, exactly.

-pause-

Banri’s friend: Where does this go? …Ugh, I dunno. This really is tough…

Banri: I think this goes here. …Nice. Next is… ahh, this is the wing, so… here!

Banri’s friend: … You said it was gonna be tough, yet in the end, you put it together so easily…

-pause-

Banri: Alright, one more piece and it’s complete! …Um, huh? The last piece is missing… Where’d it go? Did it fall somewhere? Hey, have you seen it?

Banri’s friend: Like I know. You were just puttin’ it together by yourself the whole time. I didn’t do anythin’.

Banri: That’s weird… It’s not under the table or by the game either… …I can’t find it… What the heck? There’s just one more piece…

Banri’s friend: Well, if it’s gone, then there’s nothin’ you can do, right? Even Banri can’t complete it if a piece goes missin’, huh?

Banri: …

*flashback ends*

Banri: … Sorry, guys.

Taichi: Eh!? Why are you apologizing, Ban-chan?

Banri: I kinda thought that the puzzle might’ve gotten boring ‘cause I interfered.

Taichi: Not at all, dude! I’m glad that you’re teaching us tips, and it’s fun doing it while chatting!

Muku: Because you’re teaching us how to tackle the puzzle, I’m also doing better now than when we first started!

Kumon: Yep, yep! Otherwise, we would’ve been lost in the beginning!

Citron: You’re good at teaching, Banri! Because of you, we can level up more and more too!

Banri: …I’m glad then.

-pause-

Kumon: Awesome! We finished all the way up to here! Just add one more piece and it’s done!

Muku: Huh? But there’s no piece left over here?

Banri: It’s not here either.

Taichi: Ehh~!? The last piece is missing!? Where’d it go!?

Citron: Search, everyone! It should be around here somewhere!

Kumon: Oiii, last piece~! Where are you!

Muku: Maybe it’s by the sofa? …Umm, it doesn’t look like it…

Taichi: This is so weird~. It got lost somewhere.

Banri: …If it’s gone, then there’s nothin’ we can do.

*door opens*

Juza: …Hm? What’re you doin’?

Kumon: Ahh, nii-chan! You see, we can’t find a piece from the puzzle we’re all putting together.

Muku: We’d like you to keep an eye out for the last piece, Ju-chan!

Kumon: To think we can’t finish it even though we made it this far…!

Juza: A puzzle piece? Somethin’ fell here… is this it? Can I fit this here?

Taichi: HAH! I-i-it’s complete!!

Citron: We did it! We’re having red rice* today!

Kumon: Awesome! You’re the coolest, nii-chan!

Muku: That’s Ju-chan for you! Thank you!

Juza: ? No prob…

Banri: …

Juza: Ah? What’re you lookin’ at? You’re creepin’ me out.

Banri: HA? Shut up. You’re the one who came into my field of vision on your own.

Kumon: ‘SCUSE ME!? It’s thanks to nii-chan that the puzzle was completed, you know! Be more grateful, Banri!

Citron: Ohh! They started again! Kumon joined the fray too!

Muku: N-no fighting, you three!

Taichi: Now, now, it’s great that we finished it, right!

---

*”赤飯” (sekihan: rice mixed with azuki beans to make it “red”). Sekihan is eaten on special/happy occasions like birthdays, festivals, etc.

previous | next

[pau-neko-chan]

when Koro-sensei gets desperate in matchmaking

Koro-sensei: I’ll let you shoot one tentacle for each couple that gets together by the end of the term nurufufufu

Everyone: * looks at Chiba and Hayami *

Chiba: ...

Hayami: ...

Chiba & Hayami: We respect each other.

Nakamura: Who wants to be Nagisa’s boyfriend?!

Nagisa: H-hey! What if I want to be somebody’s boyfriend?!

Kayano: * blushing * b-become a couple with N-Nagisa...

Sugino: * eyes locked on Kanzaki *

Takebayashi: * proposes to Ritsu *

Kataoka: * looks at Isogai *

Isogai: * notices Kataoka looking at him * What is it, Kataoka-san?

Maehara: Oiii Okano maybe I’ll let you date me! What do you say?

Okano: * kicks him in the crotch *

Yada and Fuwa: * pushing Karasuma and Irina together * DO THESE TWO COUNT

Irina: Karasumaaaaa, the fate of the world depends on your performance ♥♥♥

Okajima: * tears off shirt * THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO SACRIFICE MY BODY FOR THIS MISSION

Kurahashi: Senseiiiii, can we date someone who isn’t a classmate?!

Hazama: * getting the voodoo dolls ready * Okuda-san, you handle the love potions!

Okuda: L-love potions?!

Hazama: Just mix some chemicals in some booze and I’ll recite an incantation to turn it into love potions. Then we can test it on Terasaka.

Terasaka: OI WHAT THE HECK

Okuda: Do you want the potion in pill form for easier administration?

Karma: If I marry Okuda-san now, will you let us cut off all your tentacles?

[tkpro-scenarios]

[April's Fool] Greetings! Can I request a scenario with Soshi? I always wanted to know more about that guy. You are awesome and so is your blog xD

Hello~!2nd batter up is Sounii!!To put Soshi’s personality simply: He may look all cool and aloof but he’s the type that justsays whatever the heck is on his mind at the moment and is really just a big BIG dork that loves castles, collecting salt and other old man stuff.

In accordance to our April Fool’s game, at the end of this post is a question! Reply to this post with your answer (A, B, C, or D)The last date to answer this question is March 21!! The correct ending will be posted on the 22nd so look forward to it~!

Also two notes:

Please remember that only REPLIES will be accepted as answers. Reblogging/writing your answer in the tags DOES NOT count.

It would also greatly help the mods if you guys be a bit more specific with your request and state what kind of situation you’d like for us to write(for example, a first date, meeting up at/after rehearsal, etc.)Remember that this is the same as requesting for a scenario as you normally would, just that you can only request for 1 character.

Those of you that already sent in a request are more than welcome to send another ask with a prompt/situation if you’d like~

Kagurazaka Soshi

“Eh?” You blinked at thedark-haired youth standing before you.

“Like I said, let’s g—“

“No I heard you the first time!”you waved a dismissive hand. “But…why?”

“Why?” he quirked an eyebrow,awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s ‘cause I like you…isn’t thatreason enough?” he asked with a pout.

“Wait. Wait. Wait.” You pinchedthe bridge of your nose, raising a hand to signal him to stop talking. “This isall going too fast, I can’t make sense of where this conversation is going.”

He released a tired breath,placing his hands on his hips to give you a bored look. “Like I said, I likeyou and wanna go out with you. So whaddya say? Yes or no?”

“That’s what I’m talking about!”you retorted, facepalming. “How do you expect me to answer something like thatwhen it comes so out of nowhere?” You inquired, returning his bored frown. “Didyou lose a bet or did someone dare you to do this or something?”

“Look, it’s weird for me too okay?Even I know it’s sudden.” Soshi replied, looking up to trace a passing cloud. “I’msurprising myself with this too, you know?” He brought his gaze down, browneyes staring right at you. “But nobody’s making me do this, honest.”

“B-But we don’t even know eachother that well, Kagurazaka-kun…” you explained, remembering how you were onlyfriends of mutual friends and had probably only ever been alone together forless than five minutes.

“Kagurazaka Soshi. Born on July 17th.My height is 183 centimeters and my blood type is B. My likes include food ingeneral, music in general, temples and shrines, castles…and well I guess youcan just find this on my profile on the agency’s website—”

“Wait. Wait. Wait.” You echoed,repeating your action from before. “That’s not what I meant.” You took abreath, trying to stay composed. “What is going on…?” you muttered to yourself.

“Well it’s not like I’m asking youto be my girlfriend right off the bat.” Soshi pointed out, shoving his handsinto his pockets. “How ‘bout we go out once on a date and after that you candecide?”

You blinked at his proposal,finding yourself nodding in agreement.

—

You rested your back against thepole, staring at your feet as you recalled the events that led to you standinghere underneath the clock of the plaza as you waited for the dark-haireddrummer.

Although his declaration was outof the blue, it was clear that he wasn’t joking around; true to his words,Soshi really did seem to like you. And it wasn’t like he was a bad guy—thatmuch you knew from his interactions within your circle of friends and his habitof watching over Sora both at university and during their activities as SOARA.He was someone reliable and good at taking care of others.

“Oiii~”

Your thoughts were scrambled byhis sudden voice and a paper cup being shaken in front of your face. You stoodstraight, looking up to find Soshi raising an eyebrow as he shook the cup oncemore.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as youtook it with a quick word of thanks. Brown eyes blinked at you for a secondbefore a teasing smirk twisted his lips. “What? Were you spacing out ‘cause youwere thinking about me?”

You choked on your drink, Soshipatting your back and handing you a napkin as you coughed.

“Seriously? I hit the bulls-eye?”

You made a few nonsensical soundsbefore walking ahead. “O-Obviously you’d think about someone who suddenly asksyou out on a d-d-date!”

He gave a laugh, following afteryou.

—

You walked alongside the laidbackdrummer, eyeing him while Soshi ate his hotdog. Standing right beside him younoticed how tall he really was.

“Well heis 183 centimeters.” You mentally reminded yourself with a giggle as youcontinued observing your date. He really was a handsome young man…

“Stare all you want, I’m notsharing. I already offered to buy you one but you refused.” The brown-eyedyouth stated, taking a giant bite out of the snack to emphasize his point.

“I-I don’t want it! Or rather thatwasn’t what I was looking at‼” you argued while Soshi finished off his hot dogand licked his fingers.

“Ohh~? Then you’re saying youfinally fell for me?” Hazel eyes glanced sideways at you, the cheeky smile backon his face as he licked his thumb.

Your eye twitched, an exhaustedsigh leaving you along with your energy. “Kagurazaka-kun—”

“Soshi or Sou is fine. Kagurazaka-kunis a mouthful, right? And it sounds all stiff and formal when I just call you[Name].”

“…Why do you like me?” you asked,feeling self-conscious at your own question. “I-I mean sure we have the sameclasses together but we barely talk outside our group of friends. So why…?”

Question Time!

What do you think will happen next?

A) You’re not satisfied with his answer, get fed up of his teasing and decide to leave.B) Soshi realizes that he loves castles more than he loves you and decides to break it off.C) You decide to go along with him, at least for todayD) Sora and Nozomu somehow find a way to cockblock you two

Reply to this post with your answer (A, B, C, or D)The last date to answer this question is March 21th!!

Please remember that only REPLIES will be accepted as answers. Reblogging/writing your answer in the tags DOES NOT count.

Ending