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kind of a follow-up to this post:
hc that charlie and sneeg once made it out before. something happened, and one of them broke free of showfalls control, and he managed to get the other and get them both out. and once their out, they meet some people, ranboo among them. showfall, pissed at losing two of their actors, two of the ones they've been molding since childhood no less, goes after them with a vengeance. and showfall doesn't care who else gets hurt in the way, so maybe they take the kid whose house they're hiding out in as well. and maybe they decide that the best way to keep these two unruly actors in order is to make sure they know that this kid is on the line if they act out again. so they play within the lines. and they look out for this kid, who wouldn't be here at all if not for them. amd sneeg, he tries so hard to break back out, so he can get both his brothers free again. and charlie, he plays along, and he puts himself between ranboo and the danger, so that even if ranboo is stuck here because of him, at least they're safe and alive. and ranboo, he is drawn to them because they know they've met them before, and he decided then that they dont deserve this, and they know they still feel that way. and why would he be upset with them? its not their fault. its showfalls. they just wanted safty for themselves and eachother.
#genloss#gl!charlie#gl!sneegsnag#gl!ranboo#generation loss#in which charlie and sneeg escaped once before and met ranboo on the oitside#bc it would explain why two gius who seem to have grown up in showfall know someone from the outside#and also why someone had at one point been looking for the two of them#also#im pictureing charlie as the one who broke free first last time#and thats why hes so compliant now#either they rewired him real good#or he feels extra guilty#but it could be either way
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She was detached from things, from her own things, created by herself and alive. She could be left in the desert, in the sounds of the glaciers, any place on Earth and she would still have the same disconnectedness.
- Near to the wild heart, Clarice Lispector
Somehow feeling blind and separated from the world around me, like one big smudged out canvas which has lost all color and vivacity!
#disconnected#dissociated#exactly how I felt over the past few years#Regardless of where I am the oitside is just a vast blurry sudhee out canvas#clarice lispector#near to the wild heart
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#(( ooc. ))#venting tw#negativity tw#okay can someone tell me of im overreacting bc i feel like im losing it#husband just scratched his ass then purposely touched my face#laughed it off when i got upset and somehow made it out to be my fault thay he did it???#am i overreacting?? tuats out of line right. im not in the wrong about grossed out and upset right???#sorry i know you guys arent relationship advice givers or fricking advice reddit or smth but like#i feel like im losing my mind and i need an oitside perspective. he does this shit all the time#and somehow im always the one whos the bad guy?? am i nuts???? i feel nuts
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Villain Diantha bc why not, she deserves it <3
#pokemon#champion diantha#villain diantha au#edit: oh holy shit it finally showed up in the tags jfmsns dope hahah#anyways to those who dont know abt my au the ring she has was lysandre's#also#idk how to draw her braids oitside of chibi drawings so spare me cjmdnd#art tag
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Dude its fucked up when your trauma sounds dumb. 'Oh yeah i had a horrible nightmare that lead to ptsd flashbacks of my mom. What did she do? Oh she would have conversations with me kn the privacy of her room about respect and safety. Yeah i dont talk to her anymore and call her by her first name. Yeah and she took my phone away. Basically im the most traumatized person ever' i sound like an ungrateful brat get me OUTTA HEREEEEE !!!!!!
#vent#sorryyyy i need to say it so i can understand the absurdity#trauma okympics doesnt exist and she did hurt me and eveb if it sounds dumb it doesnt matter#she would accuse me of being guilty if i was scared to have those talks with her and they were also held out on the porch#taking my phone was a way to limit my communication with my dad and other lifelines#i only feel like my abuse was less serious because i have disorders that make me forget things that have hurt me#anyways in my dream i got home and i was in trouble and i had to sit there crying oitside in the yard#and i was only allowed to come in when i stopped crying. i threw a cat-pee stained chair at her and got in more trouble#and when i went inside she lead me to an amalgam of my real room and the room i had at her house#and she was about to start yelling at me in her weird 'im normal youre being overemotional rn' way#and it scared me so bad i woke up sweating and out of breath#peace and love on earth#oh also my stepdad was there hes chill i respect him. but my crying and percieved brattiness was a spectacle for neighbors to see
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"wow, hes really going through it!" i say, backhandedly pointing at the Goig Through it Guy
#txt#this ones been in the drafts for MONTHSSS j thjnk its time to release it to the oublic leik releasing a bug oitside
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Today sucked ass and penis. Clearly the healthy thing ti do is repeat my self hypnosis trigger until i dont need to worry about having a brain or being a person
#raunchy rabble#it was whatever but i think i had to up my meds last week bc my doctors a dick#and so im onmy normal dose this week which is making me a sensitive hater#i keep trying to overcompensate for my shy nature and try to like grow as a person and shit#and bc everyone else in the class is shy and quiet i need to like try to ask questions for the teacher n shit#so he feels like hes like. doing his job#and i didnt even get to do the fucking art i wanted to do today bc everyone else was usong the printer#so i had to wait till after class to do the fiest step of my bullshit#and i stainrd the fuckin gel print thing and i kept making loud noises on accident#and there was an art exhibit and it was nice but it sas so hot in there and people kept taking pictures of the crowd#and i dont know where those pictures are going or how prominent im in them and ots wigging me out#and i did that stupid apologizing too much thing and its worse when someone calls it out#and there was a snack booth outside the art exhibit and someone kept encouraging everyone to take more#i thought everyone wouls but no. the stupid fat kid took 4 bags of chips and a handful of candy#christ. ohhhhh the devils posessing me (classic self consciousness which im not used to because i never fuckon go oitside)#anyways all that to say that i need yo be put down so deep i dont even know who or what i am and just left there
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#Making u guys make my choises#The price could go to the hundreds but augh GJ gh bawling#Kanitalk#The thing id i have regular oil colors!!!#Its just that i dont have a good ventilated art area so i can only use thrm outside and oitside u can be like. 3 months of thr yeat here
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My writers block is currently nonexistent so I'm getting a bunch of good progress on my fics. The only problem?
I'm currently drunk and I have no fuckin clue if any of it will actually be good when I re-read it in the morning-
#i had a long day#and my neighbors were oitside with my roomates#so i naturally joined them#and now im sitting in my room with roo many ideas to write down at once-
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ohgod hh. Hi. The scene with Jarod. The one in the motel. The. I need to be encased in concrete and bite my way out. Th. I'm normal. Hello
#no wonder my bestie hyped this event up so much#it took me two entire playthroughs to finally see it#oh gomd#i am going. quite insane#i survived it btw#the cop and the motel guy didnt tho! well#im. ijbdshhshs#i was broke so i slept on the cardboard oitside the motel. the man dragged me to his room#cause he cant have a kid sleeping like that!!!! hes so sweet#i am so normal about him#now i have every scene with jarod!! in love w this freak#road 96#jarod road 96#bee buzz
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we finished closing and get the keys today so i can finally say without fear of cursing myself or inviting the ill wishes of my internet enemies: jake and i bought a house its sooooooo cutie 🩷
#i am pretty sure i was good and only told like one person this privately so its nice to be able to do this now and cover the bases#its CUUUUUUTE and lots of oitside space we're going to plant raspberry bushes and maybe some fruit trees#idc about a mess fruit is expensive as fuck if i can pay $90 for apple trees and have free apples in 3 years?#thats worth it to me. and the raspberry bushes will be even more worth it#those thangs are worth their weight in gold#t
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what is happening on qsmp lmao
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mmee and you wwwinningnthe paranoid awarf rn - chara
whoo up paraing. Rhe noid.
-twhek
#itisf8ne im goivng front to tbius i dontWannttt it theres lights oitside#and tgey look nefaurous as hHell!!?@#gondighr and goodluck#gomdnifght
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Sometimes I wonder how many of y'all read the tags I add to posts and just wonder ".. what the fuck Flood?"
#i realized ive put a lot of disjointed lore in there and just wonder how it looks from the oitside sometimes lmao#anyway off to finally write out my birth chart drspite not being an astrology girlie (gn)
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living in the middle of nowhere in the us as an immigrant is insane cause everyone only knows world geography in relation to racism so they'll be like mexicos where the illegals come from right 🧐?
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