#ok but when dennis trying to convince the others hes not actually sick like them

[monsterbisexual]

the way he looked in this ep rly just is how it feels bein sick im sure i look just like this

[365days365movies]

February 2, 2021: Pretty Woman (1990)

ALL RISE FOR THE KING AND QUEEN OF ROMANCIA!

First, we bow to the Actor King of Romancia, Richard Gere. Gere is a DYNAMO of romantic movies, having starred in The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, American Gigolo, An Officer and a Gentleman, Sommersby, Autumn in New York, Chicago, Shall We Dance?, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. He was crowned king of this fictionation both because of his film prowess, and because DUDE HAS DATED A LOT OF FAMOUS PEOPLE GODDAMN

Second, we bow to the Actress Queen of Romancia, Julia Roberts.

Roberts’ resume is equally romantic, including films such as Notting Hill, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Eat Pray Love, Steel Magnolias, Mystic Pizza, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. She was crowned queen of this fictionation because, I mean...it’s Julia Roberts, man. Who else was gonna be queen, Meg Ryan? She’s too busy ruling the Holy Romance Empire.

Yes. Yes, I will be visiting the Holy Romance Empire soon.

Anyway, one of the advisors to this great land was the now sadly passed Garry Marshall, a seasoned romantic movie director, responsible for The Princess Diaries (and its terrible sequel), Beaches, Runaway Bride (shit, should I watch this one?), and those bad holiday romance movies from the late 2000′s. You know, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, Mother’s Day? Yeah, that’s the guy.

Marshall was appointed an advisor of Romancia because of his role as director of the film...you know.

Enough navel-gazing; let’s get into Pretty Woman, shall we? I, for one, am looking forward to venturing further into the land of Romancia! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start at a party where...George Costanza?

Huh! Phil Stuckey (Jason Alexander), a lawyer and kind of an asshole, is romancing women at a party, held on the behalf of Edward Lewis (Richard Gere), a businessman from New York. However, he’s currently in California away from his unhappy girlfriend back east, who’s feeling a tad neglected by the constantly busy Edward.

Meanwhile, on a less-than-great side of town lives Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts), a prostitute working the mean streets of Hollywood. Making her way to the red-light district, she enters the Blue Banana Club (which is...a name, that’s for sure), where she finds her roommate Kit De Luca (Laura San Giacomo). Laura’s unfortunately spent their rent on drugs, during the height of the cocaine epidemic in Hollywood.

The two meet each other on the street, where Edward’s lost, and struggling with Phil’s stick-shift Lotus Espirit. She offers to give him directions for money, and he reluctantly accepts. She gets in, and guides him back to his hotel. As he struggles to drive, she displays her knowledge of cars from back home. He then offers to drive the car for him, and also shows her prowess as a driver. Which...is pretty neat.

He asks how much she makes in her profession, as the two roll up to his hotel. As they begin to part ways, he asks her instead to accompany him into the hotel. She’s about as charmed and gawky as I would be going into a sick-ass hotel like that. The elevator in it has a FUCKING SOFA INSIDE, YES PLEASE

Edward’s a little embarrassed by her gawking, but they quickly get past it. Edward’s graveyard-still complacency is contrasted by her manic pixie energy. Not that she’s a manic pixie dream girl...I think. It’s more of a “rock-and-balloon” relationship deal. When Vivian busts out the condoms (she’s a “safety-girl”), Edward instead says he wants to “talk.”

During this talk, it’s revealed that his girlfriend has officially broken up with him, leaving him conspicuously single. He asks if she can stay the entire night, and she agrees for a price, to which he gladly agrees. They spend the night getting to know each other, although Edward is doing business during much of it. And she’s watching TV, and it gives off these kinda weird daddy-daughter vibes (not kink-shaming, mind you), and it’s...mildly uncomfortable.

This quickly progresses into her beginning to seduce him, and the two presumably have sex. We cut away just before anything happens, though. Afterwards, Edward takes a shower, as Vivian falls asleep, taking her wig off for the first time.

The next morning, Edward talks to Phil about an upcoming business purchase, when Vivian walks into the room. He’s ordered breakfast for them. ALL OF THE BREAKFAST. Seriously, everything on the menu. Motherfucker, do you KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE ROOM SERVICE IS? WE GET IT YOU’RE RICH

He reveals just how rich he is, noting that he buys companies on the brink of failure, and then sells pieces of the companies he buys. Vivian equates this to a chop-shop, which seems extremely accurate. On another call, Phil tells him that it would be better if he had a date. And it looks like...he already has one.

Yeah, Phil “hires” Vivian to be his girlfriend for a week. For $3000, she accepts, and I feel just a little icky. And yet...I dunno, we’ll see. He’s doing this purely to avoid romantic attachment, which is a little weird, but understandable? Maybe?

At this point, we get one of the most iconic scenes in the film, as the uptight women at a Rodeo Drive store tell her to leave, like assholes. They’ll get their comeuppance, though. OHHHHHH, THEY’LL get it. This compounds when the hotel manager, Barnard “Barney” Thompson (Héctor Elizondo), questions her presence there. And while it seems that he’s going to kick her out, he actually helps her out with an outfit.

Meanwhile, Edward’s business deal begins to go somewhat south, until Edward takes advantage of GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION. Anyway, Vivian goes to a local department store, where Barney’s friend Bridget (Elinor Donahue) helps her out with a cocktail dress. When she heads back, Barney acts like a bro once again and teaches her proper etiquette, Emily Post style.

Edward heads back to the hotel, where Vivian is waiting for him. And she looks cuuuuuuuuuuute. Edward thinks so, too, and they head to the corporate dinner. There waitselderly businessman James Morse (Ralph Bellamy), and his grandson David (Alex Hyde-White). We get a taste of just how vicious of a businessman Edward is, and Vivian makes a much better impression on the Morses than Edward does. Also, Eddie’s kind of a sociopath, huh? Or, at least, he has some sociopathic tendencies. I dunno his pure emotionlessness is rubbing me a weird way.

After the dinner goes VIOLENTLY south, the two begin to relate to each other a bit more. He notes that he prefers not to bring emotion into business, although he apparently does like Mr. Morse. He also notes that his father died a month ago, but it doesn’t appear to affect him much. Still he heads downstairs to get some air. Later, Vivian gets the bellhop, Dennis (Patrick Richwood) to help her find him, and she does. He’s playing piano like a GODDAMN MANIAC HOLY SHIT! Just like, “Don’t mind me, I’m just playing an operetta to PUT THE KNIFE FEELINGS TO SLEEP IAMTHEZODIACKILLER.” This manic performance is followed by the two just...fuckin’ on the piano. They just FUCK IN THE LOUNGE RIGHT ON THAT PIANO JESUS CHRIST GUYS

The next morning, post-musex, they go to get outfits together, in which Gere buys a massive set of outfits, and we get the first makeover montage this month! He also flashes even more sociopathic flair with a clothing store owner, goddamn. And that’s...when we get the song.

I mean, we had to get this song in here at some point, right? She also engages in the most iconically HUGE moment of the film. You know what I’m talking about, and it’s beautifully cathartic, my Lord.

Meanwhile, at work, Edward’s starting to...lose it, I guess? As Phil’s encouraging him to close in on Morse for the kill, Edward’s beginning to grow a heart. And may I note that he’s been in this relationship for TWO DAYS. Jesus, buddy, you’ve really never had a meaningful relationship, huh? They eventually go to a polo match for business reasons, here Phil finally meets Vivian. Vivian also notices that none of the high-society people here seem like, well...friends.

Turns out that David Morse is one of the polo players, and Vivian starts to speak with him. Phil, meanwhile, notices this, and suspects her of being a corporate spy. And Edward, like an ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE, tells her that Vivian’s a prostitute. Phil LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY GOES AFTER HER, and solicits her like a fucking CREEP.

This obviously very much upsets her, and she chews Edward out back at the hotel. And the argument that follows IMMEDIATELY puts me on Vivian’s side, because Edward’s being a sociopathic douchenozzle. Goddamn. She rightfully wants to leave, and he just lets her. And here’s the real kicker; she doesn’t take the money.

And that’s when Edward sincerely apologizes to her, as best as he can. And yeah, he’s a little sociopathic, but I can see that the dude is trying? The two make up, and once again open up to each other. Edward starts to realize, in turn, that he legitimately has feelings for her. And we head into the third act of the film.

The next day, Edward leaves work early to go on a date with Vivian, and Phil asks if the date is with “the hooker.” And Edwards flashes him a look that’s just...knifey. I’m still not convinced he isn’t the Zodiac Killer. He takes her to an opera in San Francisco, before which we get this scene.

Adorable. God, I love Vivian. Also Dennis and Barney are the best, and they’re super fucking invested, and I am HERE for it. Their date to the opera is...sublime. Understand, my girlfriend and I watched this entire film together, and we’re both in love with Vivian and the opera after it. Imma take her to the opera on a date one of these days, I swear it.

That night, they play chess together, and Edward actually takes the following day off. He also actually sleeps in a bed for once, instead of going to work. And this is when my girlfriend the following phrase:

Is he sculpting her, or is she sculpting him?

OK, that fantastic question is one of the reasons we’re together, but also a very interesting point. Lemme explain here. This is very much a Pygmalion story in a few ways. While not a straight adaptation by any means, this film is definitely taking a few ideas from the Pygmalion trope. See, if you don’t know, Pygmalion’s a Greek myth about a sculptor who falls in love with his statue. It’s been adapted multiple times throughout the history of the arts, but the most prominent version of this was the stage musical My Fair Lady, famously adapted into a film starring Audrey Hepburn in 1964.

And again, a lot of adaptations of that, too. While Pretty Woman isn’t explicitly an adaptation of either work, the themes are still present in the work. So, yeah, it’s a good point. In this version, she’s changing him as much as he’s changing her. The sculpture is sculpting the sculptor. Which is cool.

And then, as we had that cute little revelation, Vivian tells Edward that she loves him. And OH FUCK. It’s the last day. And when he says he doesn’t want this to be the last of them together, she takes it as romantic. But when he essentially proposes making her a beck-and-call girl, putting her up in an apartment and hooking her up with dresses...she’s understandably not interested. She says that, as a little girl, she dreamed of a white knight that would sweep her off her feet and take her away. But Edward isn’t that knight.

Have I mentioned how much I love Vivian? Because Vivian’s fuckin’ fantastic, Jesus Christ.

Edward decides to leave, and says that he’s done all he can at this point. He leaves, and she’s shattered. Kit, meanwhile, comes to visit her at the hotel, and she admits that she’s fallen in love with him. While Kit’s initially worried about it, she says that they could maybe settle down and buy some diamonds and a horse. I also love Kit.

Meanwhile, at the meeting with Mr. Morse, Edward turns the tables on Phil and his yes-men, and asks to speak with Mr. Morse alone. Phil’s gobsmacked by this, but agrees. Once they’re alone, Edward admits that he no longer wishes to buy his company and destroy it. Instead, he wants to help him rebuild his company. And Morse agrees, telling Edward that he’s proud of him.

Phil, EXTREMELY irritated by this, and decided to make his way to talk to Edward at the hotel. And that’s when he finds Vivian. FUUUUUUUUCK. As expected, Phil tries to r*pe her, and that’s when Edward shows up, and BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM.

Edward tells Phil off, calling him an EVEN BIGGER sociopath than he is, and kicks him out. Friendship ended with Phil. Now Vivian is his best friend. But despite this, Vivian still realizes that their relationship, at least the one she wants, seems impossible. Conceding, and on his way back to New York now, Edward pays her, and tells her to call him if she ever needs anything. 

But he asks her to stay one more night with him, not because of money...BUT BECAUSE OF LOVE. And she replies that she can’t...and they part ways. Vivian goes to say goodbye to Barney, who still rules. He calls a cab for her, and says that she can visit them anytime. My girlfriend says that she would leave me for Barney, and I agree. I agree so much, because she deserves the best, and the best is Barney, and I could never BE Barney. 

I could never be Barney.

It’s over now, as the song in the background says, and Edward laments his lost relationship as the thunder rolls in. Vivian decides to finally go to San Francisco, and finish high school, inspired by Edward’s love and faith for her. She passes that faith onto Kit as she says goodbye. Fuuuuuuck, man, this goodbye hurts as well.

Edward goes to the lobby, and talks to Barney one last time. AND BARNEY TELLS EDWARD WHERE VIVIAN WENT, LIKE A GODDAMN CHAMPION. WHY CAN’T I BE AS PERFECT AS BARNEY????

He makes his way to her apartment, and buys flowers from a woman with a Cockney accent, WHICH IS A MY FAIR LADY REFERNCE! HOLY SHIT! He arrives in a white limo at her place, overcomes his fear of heights and climbs a fire escape in a metaphorical tower to rescue his princess. 

THAT’S HOLLYWOOD, BABY! And it’s Pretty Woman as well. That was a very heartwarming film, and I’m very glad that I watched it! Is it perfect? Ehhhhhhhh, see you at the Review.

[kkintsugi]

Ok so I had an idea for an episode of Sunny allow me to explain it to you in detail

The episode starts with Frank and Charlie asking Dee for help with a scheme. She’s like “I don’t wanna help with anything you guys are doing, get Mac or Dennis” to which Charlie says that Dennis is sick and Mac is on a date. Dee’s like “Oh, he doesn’t have a date, he’s just saying that so you won’t rope him into your scheme! Who would go on a date with Mac?”

Cut to the title card: Mac Gets A Boyfriend

The next scene opens with Frank, Charlie, and Dee getting dinner at Gugino’s. Frank is saying something like “I’m so glad you decided to hear us out, Deandra” and Dee says she’s only there because Frank is buying dinner. Frank explains that he and Charlie are moving, and they want to buy a new place because they hate landlords. However, they want someone else to help them talk to the realtors bc nobody would ever sell a house/condo/apartment to Frank and Charlie. Dee says she’ll help but Frank and Charlie have to listen to everything she says. As she’s saying this, Charlie (clearly not listening to her) spots Mac and Dennis having dinner together across the restaurant and gets mad that they lied about where they were. Convinced that they’re hiding something, he sneaks over near their table and hides behind a plant so he can overhear part of their conversation.

Dennis goes “Shit is that Dee and Frank? I told them I was sick!”

Mac is like “It is! Goddamit, I told them I was on a date tonight!”

Dennis looks surprised. He’s like “Wait, really? You told them? I thought you weren’t telling anyone yet!”

Mac says “Yeah, but otherwise they would have roped me into their stupid scheme”

The waiter tells Charlie to stop lurking behind a plant. He goes back to Frank and Dee and tells them that he thinks Mac and Dennis are secretly dating. Dee says Dennis would never allow that to happen. Frank says it’s irrelevant and they should focus on the scheme.

The next day, Dee is at Frank and Charlie’s place looking through their clothes for anything acceptable they can wear to their first open house. They insist that they can wear some all denim outfits they found under the bridge because “in Canada this is like a fucking tuxedo Dee, maybe we’re fancy Canadians!” Dee gets exasperated and sends Charlie to get a button down from Dennis.

Charlie goes over to Mac and Dennis’s apartment, but when he gets there, Dennis has Mac pinned up against a wall and they’re both sweaty and flustered. They appear to have just been making out. Charlie’s like “Uhhh sorry to interrupt” and they immediately both start launching into an explanation about how they were fighting bc Dennis was angry that Mac told a hot girl that Dennis was trying to hit on an embarrassing story about him. Charlie’s like “Cool, whatever, can I borrow a button down for this open house?” Dennis gives him some nice clothes, and Charlie leaves.

We see Charlie and Dee pose as a married couple at the first open house. They both do ridiculous Texan accents, and improv a long backstory about how they met when they joined a cowboy LARPing society and had to share a horse. There’s a little bit of confusion when they both say Frank is their dad, but they recover after Dee explains that Frank is her dad and Charlie’s father in law, but they’re such a cute, loving family that Charlie also calls Frank dad sometimes.

They have a good time, but Frank says he doesn’t like the place, so they decide to keep looking. We see a montage of them looking at different places: Charlie gets kicked out after seeing a cheese plate and eating all the cheese, Dee tries to do an Irish accent and the realtor turns out to be actually Irish, once they all show up in ridiculous costumes. Eventually, they sit in the bar having a drink. A phone buzzes on the counter – it’s Mac’s. It’s a text from Dennis saying “Date tonight?” Charlie says this proves his theory about Mac and Dennis dating, and Frank and Dee relent. Dee says they have been awfully touchy lately, more so than since before Mac came out.

Frank, Charlie, and Dee go to another open house. Charlie says the place is nice, and they end up getting into a huge screaming match about random aspects of the house like the carpet and the furniture and the doors. Charlie storms out.

Early the next morning, Charlie goes to Mac and Dennis’s place again. He walks into the apartment without knocking, and instead knocks on Mac’s bedroom door. Mac’s like “What are you doing here? How did you get into our apartment?” Charlie says the door was unlocked, and Mac says that seems weird, but he moves past it. Charlie’s like “I wanna talk to you about something, can we talk?” Mac says he has to be quiet because Dennis is sleeping. Charlie asks why they don’t just go in Mac’s room, but Mac says that the can’t bec Dennis is sleeping in Mac’s room, and says Dennis had a girl over last night who tried to strangle him in her sleep, and he couldn’t get her to wake up, so he’s hiding out in Mac’s room until she leaves.

Charlie is clearly not buying it, but they go for a walk, and Charlie talks about how he’s mad at Frank and he feels like they’re not on the same page anymore, and Frank wants a new place but Charlie likes their old place. Mac says Charlie should tell Frank how he feels. Charlie leaves and talks to Frank, who reveals that he also likes their old place, but he threatened Huang with a gun the other day, and Huang said he would call the police if Frank didn’t get out. Dee points out that their building is actually for sale, and suggests Frank buy the building. He agrees, and he and Charlie are back to normal.

The next day, they’re sitting in the bar. Mac comes in, and he says that he has to tell them something: he has a new boyfriend. He starts going into explicit detail about his sex life, and after a while Dee is like “Stop! That’s my brother you’re talking about” and Mac and Dennis are like “Huh? What are you talking about?”

Dee and Charlie are like “We know you’re banging Dennis, dude”. Then a man who came into the bar shortly after Mac goes “Wait, you’re cheating on me?” and Mac is like “No, I swear I’m not!” but the man doesn’t listen and ends up breaking up with him.

Dee and Charlie are like “Oh, shit. Sorry.” They start asking him about all the stuff they’d seen. Mac explains that he went out to dinner with Dennis after his boyfriend cancelled last minute, his boyfriend was asleep in his room when Charlie came by the previous morning, and he and Dennis really were just fighting that one time. Dee is like “but you guys are always touching and putting your arms around each other and stuff” and Dennis is like “Yeah, well it’s a lot more comfortable doing that with someone who’s not in love with you. Now that Mac is over me we can go back to normal.” He calls Dee a bird, and they walk out of the room arguing.

Charlie tells Mac he can’t believe he finally got over Dennis and Mac is like “Of course I’m not over Dennis, I just needed him to think I was so that he would relax around me. Now I can finally make him fall in love with me!”

Charlie’s like “Yeah, that makes more sense. Anyways you wanna hear about the open houses we went to?” Mac says sure, and Charlie launches into a monologue about the cheese plate. Cut to the credits.

That was great 😆

I love how Charlie doesn't really give a shit about Mac and Dennis being in a relationship he's just like "you guys are totally banging but whatever". I like the twist of them not actually dating, very on brand for sunny. I think if(when?? Manifesting "Mac gets a boyfriend" ep for season 15) Mac gets a bf Dennis will act like "oh good for him, he'll stop bothering me now" but will actually be extremely jealous.

Charlie and Dee both doing ridiculous characters is great, their accents would be terrible, they'd be so insufferable together 😆

[macdentrash]

I have some issues that I want to talk about...

Ok so I’ve been thinking about macdennis (as one does 25 hours a day) and I just wanna share something... so we all know Mac and Dennis are gay for eachother, as does anyone who’s seen them interact in the slightest, and that’s been apparent since the literal first episode of the show (this isn’t necessarily related but I think it’s cute that the literal first lines of the show are between these two gays but to continue on...) and the levels of said gayness have evolved over the seasons. We have season 1 twinks who are subtle (at least for the most part) in their homosexual subtext and this could be played off as two “really good friends” but nothing beyond that (not how I choose to see it but some do and that’s not necessarily invalid just because some of us disagree), moving on through the seasons the gayness becomes more blatantly obvious, it’s brought to the viewers point of focus in a more straight(lol)forward way and the climax of this really shows in season 5 with the tipping point being Mac and Dennis Break up. Other than the few scenes with Frank/Charlie this whole episode is devoted to the blatant codependency of Mac/Dens relationship, not to mention the sexual tension (which is completely unsubtle imo), they literally cannot function without eachother and there is NO heterosexual reasoning that can explain the extended scene (beautiful lips!)... as we progress further in the show the homosexual undertones only become stronger (I could site every point in individual episodes and have a thesis level of critical analysis but for the sake of brevity we won’t go there today) which can be seen in the double parter Mac Fights Gay Marriage/Dennis Gets Divorced, any Mac and Dennis titled episode really and many more (every episode or at least most of them shows some level of interaction between the two that makes the viewer go “hmm well that’s gay as fuck”). Continuing on though, I’m writing this mostly to get into the newer seasons (11/12 respectively) so obviously in season 11 we have the ICONIC suburbs episode where they literally move to a house together and take up their individual “marital duties” (i.e. honey do list, Mac staying at home and taking care of things in his way lol, and Dennis going to work, etc) and we learn a lot about their dynamic and see that the codependency has not in fact weakened over time but grown to incomprehensible levels, in the rest of season 11 there’s fairly limited interaction and Mac/Dennis team ups but in the 2 part finale of The Gang Goes to Hell there are some important pieces. To start Dennis in the beginning is the one who supports Mac’s decisions (saying something along the lines of “you don’t have to mean it, just say what he wants to hear” etc) and it shows how well he knows Mac compared to the rest of the gang, again we have limited interaction until the end of the first part but there’s some really interesting stuff once they do get to interact. I’d like to start with Dennis’ reaction to Mac coming out and how “he always knew”, he always knew and still acted the way he always has (and knowing that he knew, makes one doubt Dennis’ own self proclaimed heterosexuality), moving on, when the boat first malfunctions Dennis automatically reaches his hand out to steady Mac and doesn’t show any real concern for anyone else, fuck even after the boat steadies he keeps his arm reaching out towards him... there’s definitely more in part two but I’m going to skip ahead a little to the tail end of part two. Dennis hid the letters that Mac’s dad sent him from prison and he looks heart broken when Mac gets upset, showing that Dennis actually gives a shit no matter how much he tries to pretend that he doesn’t (this is pre onion that I’m talking about here) and I believe that he honestly was just trying to protect Mac from his shitty father (which could have to do with Dennis’ own daddy issues but we won’t get into that here), also in the end of this episode we have Charlie saying something along the lines of “send us a miracle” and Dennis looks @ Mac in that super love sick way (he is his miracle! i’m so soft i apologize). The last thing I want to touch on in this episode is that when Mac is shoved back into the closet at the end, Dennis makes a very frustrated face... the face of a man who just wants his best friend to come out already... wow ok this is long but let’s move on to season 12, that will continue in the next paragraph break for the sake of breaking up this wall of text...

Ok so in season 12 is where imo everything kind of culminates and comes to a head as far as Mac and Dennis’ dynamic goes...to touch briefly on Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer, we have “Well if Mac’s going to do it... I’m going to do it” (which speaks for itself) as well as Mac and Dennis just generally being portrayed as spending quite a bit of time together. Moving on to where everything really kicks off in this season imo is Hero or Hate Crime. We have Mac finally escaping from the closet but there’s a lot that’s woven into that, Dennis encourages Mac to come out of the closet until he actually does so (we’ll get to that in a minute) and when Mac leaves Dennis is the one who encourages the gang to just let him enjoy his first day out. The importance of Dennis pushing Mac to come out and then getting uncomfortable when he actually does is because HE NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, and when it does he makes the same fucking face as he does when he’s trying to hide his emotions during the RPG scene... after this episode Dennis becomes “emotionally distant” (to quote Mac himself) and he generally is just kind of weird about Mac being out, I personally believe that’s because he’s too scared to admit his own feelings and scared to have to explore his own sexuality and how that impacts his overall identity. Obviously next we have PTSDee and Mac’s dream/subsequent reality, so at this point it’s well established that Mac has a thing for notorious 5 star man Dennis Reynolds but now we have to ask the question “does Dennis reciprocate those feelings?” (spoiler alert: yeah he does but moving on), in this episode it’s made apparent that Dennis is aware of Mac’s attraction (and has been for a long time) but even though it comes very close, he does not act on that attraction in a substantial way and we as an audience collectively heave a disappointed sigh (in gay) and hope for better next time. Next up is the The Gang Tends Bar, which is a fucking masterpiece... so from the beginning we have Dennis trying to avoid Valentine’s day and get the gang to “just do their jobs!”. Later we have the parallel between Mac trying to talk to Charlie about Dennis and Dee trying to talk to Frank about Charlie (both convos are interrupted by that intruding Jerry) and that is really solid evidence for the Chardee Macdennis Theory™... to get to my point here we have the “I have big feelings” speech and Mac coming in to save the day with his gift. So this is where it goes off, Mac who is now openly out gives Dennis a Valentine’s Day gift and makes no move to clarify this as a friendly/unromantic gesture, and the way that Dennis looks at him (other than being hella gay) is one of realization and just realizing that someone actually loves him (our collective hearts break for the bastard man), and going back to Hero or Hate Crime, he makes that same face when he glances back at the gang which is him trying to hide his emotions and how much Mac/the RPG really mean to him. Lastly in season 12 we have DDL, imo the most crucial part of this episode as far as Macdennis goes is in the beginning when they are coming up with the plan, I’ll insert the script here because it says more than I ever could: 

Mac: Look, I think the point is, maybe we got to close the emotion door for Mandy by telling her that you're gay. Dennis: Yeah, right, but I already had sex with her. How am I gonna convince her I'm gay? 

Mac: Just go with me here. Brian's not above having a one-night stand with a woman, but he's got no room for her emotionally - because he's in love with me.

Dennis: With you? 

Mac: Well, yes, the lover is me, of course.

Dennis: Mm.

So this to me is just the writers pointing out the nature of Mac and Dennis’ relationship, they literally change the dynamic in no way and they’re almost screaming “THEIR IN LOVE YOU FOOLS”... the rest of the episode shows Dennis being confused at Mac’s actions (”why would you say you want to raise the kid?!” and showing discomfort when Mac launches into the same “he’s my bottom” speech from Mortgage Crisis) and Mac becoming more brazen with his obvious huge crush on Mr. Reynolds. Dennis leaves dramatically at the end and takes about 10 times longer to say Mac’s name than any other member of the gang, while Mac looks on with that sad puppy dog look on his face. This is how they leave it, other than Mac and the rest of the gang blowing up the Rover.

So to get to the original point I was trying to make before going the fuck off... now that we’re in season 13 we all are kind of wondering where they’re going to take this. After all the evidence I’ve discussed here, plus literally the entire roster of episodes, I just want to say that something with a capital S is going to happen. I mean, why would they be focusing so much on their relationship (to the point of it being uncomfortable *cringes and thinks about the sex doll*) and not ... take that anywhere? I mean they’ve been upping the anti since around season 10 and I feel like that character development and plot evolution is not for nothing, RCG know what they’re doing and I truly believe that we may get something at least resembling canon Macdennis this season, add in the factor of promo like “The Machelor” and it’s almost impossible that we aren’t going to get anything... also in the promo for the new episode we have Mac and Dennis holding a fucking heart shaped object between their hands...HEART SHAPED and that’s a level of metaphor that’s not even trying to be subtle... anyways I’m gonna go now but these are my surface level thoughts on the matter and if you want to hear some more specific analysis (on episodes/scenes) don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll type out something similar and not as lengthy. If you made it this far, I wish your heart luck moving further in this new season and we can all cry together

[chrliekclly]

do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress. 

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #13: "im so EMO (TION)" - Bryce

I cant believe that im still here. And we have majority. 3 vs 2. Matt is coming to me know saying that he wants to work with me but like. Bruh. But that could be good tho having him. I have to see what happens with immunity first.

OKOKOKOK CAN WE JUST DISCUSS HOW AM I A FUCKING GOAT. FIRST OF ALL Jock destroyers was a pretty dominant alliance i played a SNITCH RAT GAME with exposing plans and i was lied to but like can i get some credit here like first of all it was my fucking ideal to even force a tie, bryce wanted sharky out he didn't want rocks i wanted rocks when my ass was literally on the line here and i was still willing to go to rocks because i don't want to be a fucking goat and do what bryce or sharky wants this is the only way i could get brian SHARKYS #1 ALLY out of the game so that you know who sharky's #1 ALLY IS NOW FUCKING ME. so you know what yeah i'm a goat, greatest of all time actually and i at least deserve some level of credit or respect here to pull some shit off like this. only person on the fucking tribe with the balls to do this shit and i don't even have balls. OK BYE.

i literally dont have words. i keep having meltdowns and like its so not like me i usually just treat games as fun but im just so upset bc brian went home when we could have prevented it and now im in a spot where annabelle and sharky control things and im basically going to get 5th. i really thought i was doing something and life came at me real quick and said learn ur place KJFSHKJDFHSKJ. like the play anna made was smart so go her i just hate that i got played and that brian left with the vote steal and that my game is ruined and i came so far and i thought i was playing alright also i hate how everyone and their mother keeps calling me out for playing the middle KJSFHFKS like grow up and shade me in ur confessionals not to my face im SENSITIVE AUBRY. basically the point is: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/506665419092918273/541697763788980225/image0.jpg

I'm SHOCKED. I swore to Annabelle I wouldn't right her name down. And yet she writes my name down! And just as I was thinking I could trust Bryce HE RALLIES VOTES AGAINST ME! I'm so pissed off, and scared, and hurt, and now I have to scramble to figure something out.

Okay let recap everything that has gone down in this 24 hours since I was betrayed. So I talked to Annabelle A LOT. Basically we've talked to each other a ton. I discover that Anna made the plan for the tie and then Bryce was only willing to flip if the vote was for me. SHADY. I knew I should have never trusted him. So basically either I convince Annabelle to save me, everyone goes to rocks, or Matt and Brian flip on me and I go home. I would have said the last one was super unlikely. So I start busting my ass to sway Annabelle. We have really opened up to each other about our games, she is feeling like she has to make a big move. I talked to her about how I feel hurt because I've busted my ass all game to save Anna and Matt and now they both seem unwilling to save me. I tell the guys we just have to be nice but imply to her she stands no shot of making the end without me and how Bryce is going to win. She has no idea we have the vote steal so Brian/Matt would definitely get Bryce out next. So I go to sleep thinking we are making progress. I wake up an Anna is like "Matt was rude to me so I'm definitely not flipping" so I'm starting to feel really hopeless. And then Matt and Brian both started to dodge the idea of rocks. And Anna is telling me Bryce thinks Matt is probably going to flip. So i'm thinking it's over. And in the FB Bois chat Matt and Brian both keep being like "I'm so conflicted" "we'd be guaranteed f4" "blah blah blah" So now I'm realizing these two aren't willing to go to rocks for me. I've spent this whole season trying to save our alliance at any cost. And now that I'm the one in danger...they aren't willing to take the risk. SO now I get it. I've been too nice. If they are going to put their games above mine and aren't willing to risk it so all 3 of us can make F5...I'm going to have to make sure we take that risk because it's my only shot. So I pitch to Anna a way she can get her rocks and I can be safe. We tell them that Anna agrees to save me. That way they think were set and it'll all work out and then it'll go to rocks and I'll be safe. It's super risky and I'm putting all my faith in Annabelle and I feel so scared and guilty and idk but this is the only way I survive and there is a chance Anna goes and it all works out. But...it's also not lost on me that Anna is willing to risk her own game to save me...but my own alliance isn't. I'm feeling...weird.

Brian went home. I...honestly am just feeling horrible. And he was so mad at me. Like mad to the point that I'm worried I ruined a real life friendship over this game. And Matt is furious too and he's going off on me in our group chat which fucking sucks. Like that was the worst case scenario for me. And it sucks. But I shouldn't have to feel bad about this. Like both Brian and Matt were willing to vote me out so they didn't have to go to rocks. They put their game first so why am I a villain for doing the same thing? And they want to be like "we were up front with you about not being sure" like that's supposed to make me feel better. Yeah of course you were honest you weren't the ones in danger. It's easy for y'all to be honest when you're just going to vote me out. I couldn't have been honest with them or they would have flipped and I would have gone home. How do they not see that? Was I supposed to just give up? How is that fair? And how is it that they can vote me out and I just have to accept that but they can't accept that I saved myself. I'm feeling super alone, like I can't trust anybody, and like my best friends won't even take a second to look at it from my point of view. Of course I feel terrible. I just hope this doesn't come between genuine friendships.

ANNA REALLY JUST CLOCKS ME AND SHE KNOW SHE CAN BC WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO. me matt maynor better be this f3 matt might win tbh but idc! anna has CROSSED ME and like laughs in my face FKJADSHFKAJ like yes ur iconic yes u did #that but im in this game with u and its a lil rude to flaunt ur success at me FKJADSHFAKJ when i do sth good i would never constantly bring it up (btw i won immunity once and got that cute blue color so everyone is jealous prob...) also im so emo i miss dennis and i miss brian they were the 2 ppl who i felt close to in the game and theyre both gone i literally am so upset i feel like if i wasnt so busy before tribal i could have talked to brian more and convinced him he had to vote sharky bc i KNEW anna was voting sharky but he bought her lies and i was convincing enough so i just feel its my fault i lost my closest ally (and his vote steal) although maybe he would have beat me in the end so this is good thing? nope! like i think i played alright in the middle but ppl prob wont respect it and idk if i would bc clearly im biased and maybe i am just a goat and thats why im still in like i rly tried to do sth this round but didnt i just ugh so demotivated hehe but maybe ill snap or sth insert positive uplifting quote here i just hope that i can turn this around and defeat anna and her pet shark. ALTHOUGH ITS LIKE WHERE THE BIG DOG PULLS ITS OWNER AND WALKS IT INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND. im so EMO (TION)

yesterday i was feeling a LOT of emotions and now that i have distanced myself i realize that my emotions were VALID and i am perfect and had the RIGHT to be upset that everything went wrong. i am speaking my immunity win into existence it WILL happen. i HAVE done the homework and even if i flop it (which i wont) i will still NOT GO HOME bc matt and maynor are hopefully on my side. OK BUT LIKE IM JUST SO JKAFSHKAJDSFHADSKFJA

This immunity is very important. We cant let Matt or Sharky win it. We need to have the opinion for them available to be voted out.

So like.... I am upset and feel very alone now in this game. Brian got rocked out and i was lied to again. I am just like so over it. I feel manipulated when I did have all the power and could've got a big threat out. but NO sharky and anna the fucking dynamic duo they are decided it would be fun to go to rocks! I am just so over it. Im getting fucking 5th place and I am MAD.

OR AM I? I decided to lie last night and say i gave my idol to brian last night. Why? It would paint an even bigger target on my back so i can go idoling. Cause of course I am not dumb enough to go and give my idol away hell naw. Instead, I need to knock sharky out of the immunity comp tonight but then get everyone on my case so they vote me. then boom idol. i know that this should get me to f3. I hope. If sharky goes next, and anna/maynor win FIC. then i know i can get at least maynor with me cause Bryce will then be the clear winner out of us 4. then maybe i will have a shot at the win but eh, need to get there first. I hope to god this can work and if not, final juror here i come!

I woke up feeling TERRIBLE. I feel so bad about the Brian situation. Matt won't respond because he probably hates me. I feel like a trash person. And tbh I'm questioning if I even deserve to be here.

I feel sick. Literally this is the worst case scenario. If anybody else had won everything would be fine. And now Matt has like given up which makes me even sadder. I'm honestly considering asking everybody to vote me out. So that Matt at least has a shot of making FTC. This sucks.

I WON IMMUNITY WOOOH IM SO ICONIC IM LITERALLY A LOSING FINALIST AND EVERYONE WANTS ME OUT I FEEL LIKE ILL LOSE IN THE END BUT THAT WONT STOP THESE PPL FROM GIVING ME 4TH WHEN I LOSE THE NEXT IMMUNITY AJKFDSHKFAJ THEYRE ALL LIKE SO VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED I WON IM SO SAD NNNN I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR THEM! i really hope they vote out sharky now bc its literally the smart move but im willing to bet theyll keep him to spite me annas gonna be like sharky needs to stay we get him out NEXT round and maynor might be convinced or sth idk and matt idk askdjfhdkjf i thought we were good but he ghosted me all day today so hm. club 96 nina and tina really falling apart

Matt is literally shutting down. Like I'm trying to talk with him and mend things and try to rally him so we can figure out how to keep us both safe and honestly he's just not interested. He seems disinterested and honestly he's being kind of a brat. Stop pouting! Sack up and help me fight. Because yes I was selfish last round and that put us in a tough spot but It was never my idea to trust Bryce or my idea to ignore that we had a vote steal to secure our vote at F6. I'm not the only one who made mistakes. So come on and let's freaking recover! Or are we just supposed to lay down and award Bryce the win? UGH

I was really on the brink of asking everybody to vote me out. But Matt is being so useless right now. If he's going to act like that he'll just get picked off at F4. He has no fight. So I'm over it. I really do love him but at this point I'm going to have to just try my best to get Annabelle and Maynor to believe that they stand the best chance at FTC against me, instead of Bryce or Matt. I've already ruined my reputation so I might as well at least try to fight. I feel over everything but I have to get it together.

The vote hopefully is between Matt and Sharky. I know Bryce really wants Sharky gone. Annabelle and I are talking and seeing which route is the best for us to make it to the end.

Like wow. My brain is so big. Im pretending that I threw away my idol to brian at the last second, and that I am leaving this round. Whereas in actually reality I still have my idol and sure as heck im playing it tonight and making final 4 YEET. like woe is me, woe is me, lol no bitch im here to stay. Sharky like, needs to leave as well. I love him but 2 big if a threat and I would quite like to well, win.

Oh and as I write this annabelle needs me huh. Well listen here, you lied to my fucking face and got brian out. Thus, you also need to leave bish. I am fed up of being lied 2 constantly by these fuckers called my tribemates and I am NOT here for it anymore. Time to play the lies and deceit game myself huh

This round is so weird for me. I felt like I was in such a tough place and feeling really defeated. But now Anna is getting paranoid and there is a very slim chance I could get her to to vote Maynor and then Matt and I both make F4. But my issues is I can't trust anybody. Because I don't think anybody trusts me. Like Maynor is being very noncommittal. Anna keeps flip flopping and maybe she'll flip onto me. Matt seems on board but honestly maybe he deeply deeply hates me and is just lying and will vote me out.

There is a little over an hour left before tribal. I'm convinced that it's me going home. Everyone seems to be too easy to agree to vote with me. It's not looking good.

Literally wtf. The Biggest plot twist of the century is occurring. I'M THE SWING VOTE?? Like since when in hell was I going to be the deciding factor. I mean I like it, I have the power for once and I am safe but still omg i LOVE IT! I am bunsen the Berner in this image, deciding between 2 fates: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DzD8lXwUwAAgTlp?format=jpg&name=900x900

Having a panic attack. Im really nervous. Like i know its between Matt and Sharky. But there is still a chance that somehow me or annabell could still go. I hope it doesnt and its clear cut with Sharky and Matt. Fingers cross. Or imma die.

i had a good talk with anna today and i kind of love her (as long as she votes sharky) i think maynor might go now which is sad bc anna says matt/sharky are doing that but like matt says that he wants me maynor him f3 so who knows! anna like was honest with me about not knowing who to vote and seems to be voting sharky but literally anything can happen so whomst knows.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okokok i feel so fucking badly about this move like so badly ughhhhhhhhhh but i feel like it has to happen i'm so so soooo sorry sharky like you have no idea i've been torn all day on what i should do and idk i feel like i lose no matter what this fucking blows

Sharky is voted out 4-1.