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argumentl · 3 years

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The Freedom of Expression Ep 49 - Ioka Kazuto's New Years Eve tattoo problem.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again this week.

T: What is the celebratory sake for?

K: Well, this is our first recording of the new year..

J: Yes

T: Happy New Year

J: Happy New Year. By the time this is broadcast it will already be well into January though.

K: Yes, so..for good luck.

J: Ah, that would be welcome....but Im not gonna drink it.

K: Why?

J: Um, I've said this a few times before, but my resolution for 2021 is to not go so crazy when drinking alcohol, to not get too carried away.

T: Hahaha

J: I've already decided on it.

K: Don't you always say that?

J: No, no, no. Um, recently...was it on the 27th? After the live broadcast? I left afterwards with Tasai.

T: Oh, yeah.

J: We left together, we got a taxi. Then when I arrived home, it was about 2am, right? When I tried to get in my house, I didn't have my keys.

T, K: Eh?!

T: Really??

J: I didn't have my keys..what could I do? I think i actually left them somewhere before i arrived here, and I hadn't been drinking before that. But in the end, I went to a hotel in my neighborhood...like, please let me stay here, I'll pay so please let me stay. So, I woke up the next day and called the real estate agent to ask if they had a spare key..they didn't. They said they'd given all the keys to me. So, I called around a few other places, and by about lunch time I managed to get hold of a key. But I had to go and do a live radio broadcast in this kind of messed up state, so..

T: Eh?!

J: Well, I mean, it wasn't the fault of alcohol this time, but I have lost my pocket wifi before while I was drunk, and my glasses...and Im constantly telling dirty jokes while drunk...so this year..., well, I will drink alcohol, but Im not gonna go wild.

T: Hahaha

K: Thats impossible!

J, T: Hahaha

Kami: Joe san, Joe san...

J: Oh, Kami? What is it? Kami's here.

Kami: Joe, you've become a boring guy.

J, T: Hahaha

Kami: You're trying to play it safe.

J: No, no, no. Can I really carry on? Drinking and going crazy this year too?

Kami: You need to be free. Please don't hold yourself back.

J: Haha

T: When we were going home in the taxi, you said, 'I think I've messed up'...

J: I was doing a bit of self-reflecting.

T: Your true voice slipped out.

J: I think it did.

K: What? Why, what happened again?

T: Yeah, what was it again?

J: Well, I think it was me just going a bit wild. It felt like I got carried away.

T: You felt that in yourself?

J: Well, I do, don't I? When I drink alcohol?

K: Well, yeah.

J: Kaoru, we've done a lot of events together, right?

K: Yeah, most of the time I'm like, 'Joe, calm down!'

J: And Im supposed to be the moderator!

T: You change places!

J: Right!

K: Also, he had to read out things written in Katakana and stuff, but he couldn't read the difficult words*1

J: There are a few reasons for that. After I've had a drink, I can't read difficult kanji, and also I have bad eyesight. Katakana has loads of spaces in it, right?

T: Maybe we should have let Tasai do it.

T: Yeah, I should have done the reading.

J: Kanji just turns into clumps.

K: Ok, well, today...Tasai, could you get us started?

T: Yes, this is about the big match on last New Years Eve. Its boxing news. It was the WBO super flyweight title match between Ioka Kazuto and Tanaka Kōsei. Ioka won the match, but this news deals with a slightly different aspect. Ioka's tattoos were visible during the match. The boxing commission have said this is a violation of the rules, and are considering imposing a penalty. Questions have been arising on social media like, 'Isn't this a mistake?', and, 'What about individual freedom?' Did you watch the match, Kaoru?

K: No, I didn't, but I saw it on the news.

T: Yeah. And, Ioka had actually covered his tattoos with foundation to hide them before getting in the ring, but sweating made the foundation come off.

J: I see.

T: So, its become a bit of a talking point, what to think about this.

K: This isn't the first time he's done this, right? He covered his tattoos before in other fights?

T: Yeah, to stop the foundation coming off he...

K: But foundation?...can you really hide them with foundation?

J: Haha, yeah, maybe not. They are too solid. So, he went ino the ring without foundation this time?

T: No, he had it on, but it came off with sweat.

J: Wouldn't that happen anyway?

K: If it did, that means its come off everytime up to now.

J: Right? Its not like its only come off this time. Its hard to understands why the JBC are raising this problem only now?

T: Well, its in the rules. The rules for matches are...in the rulebook, Match management section 4, conditions for boxers article 86, it says for things that make spectators feel uncomfortable, such as tattoos...if a boxer has tattoos, they must not appear in the ring.

J: Oh, thats written?

T: Yes, thats written in the rules. There have been cases in the past of boxers getting tattoos surgically removed in order to be able to compete in the ring.

J: Im not sure about this. Feeling uncomfortable just by seeing a tattoo...?

K: Regular people do though, don't they?

J: Do they?

K: Not people like us here, regular people are different.

J: Haha, of course.

K: But its Japanese people...foreigners have seen tattoos as pretty normal for quite a long time.

J: Right. Their police even have tattoos.

K: But we havn't got there in Japan yet. They are still thought of as scary. Even me, if I see someone with tattoos walk in, I don't say anything to them, but I do notice and look at them if they have tattoos.

J: Well..

K: You look though, right?

J: Well, I would think 'oh, they have tattoos'.

K: Yeh, but you would say ????*2

J: Well...

K: You would!

J: Would I? But...this is boxing, right? The spectators have come to watch people hitting each other.

K: Well, yeah, thats right.

J: For example, if a kabuki actor suddenly revealed tattoos all over their body, I have a feeling it wouldn't go down well with people who are going to see traditional arts, but if they are going to see people punching each other, would they be that bothered about tattoos?

K: Its because the rules havn't changed since a long time ago.

J: Yeah. Hmm, Im not sure about this. What's it like overseas?

T: Its totally fine overseas.

J: Its ok, right?

K: They don't mind if foreigners have them.

J: Ah, foreign boxers with tattoos are allowed to fight in Japan?

T: Yes.

K: So I think this is good. It could change how we do things *3

J: Yeah, it creates a stir, because there are quite a lot of people who know about this old rule. Um, even at events and stuff (I MC at a lot of events), some guests are instructed to wear long sleeeves when they attend. This is what Japan is like with tattoos.

T: But I think I read somwhere that the NBA also has the rule to cover tattoos. Like, they will wear armbands and stuff to cover them.

K: Even in baseball, the Giants have banned facial hair.

J: Have they?

T: The Giants have an unwritten code, let me think who had a beard....do you remember Ogasawara Michihiro/Gatz?

J: Oh yeah, the left handed player?

T: Yeah, when he joined the Giants he shaved it all off etc. That type of thing still happens, even now. Have a look next time the Giants play, none of them have facial hair.

J: I don't think foreign players will like these rules that Japanese have. This seems like its against the Constitution. It really does.

Kami: Its discrimination, right?

J: Yes, I agree.

Kami: Nishinari people are sensitive to discrimination.

J: Yeah, I mean, if they are gonna have this rule, they should ban tattoos for everyone in boxing, but to say its ok for foreign boxers but not Japanese ones.. its a bit...

Kami: Its unconstitutional. Its discrimination.

J: Yeh, I think its discrimination. But looking at some of the comments, some say that although its written in the rules, it can't be helped these days.

Kami: Its not fair though, letting Ioka get this incredible win, and then afterwards saying, actually, no.

T: Yes, thats right.

Kami: When I was younger I won at pachinko..

J: Haha, all of a sudden..

Kami: I had quite a babyface, and would get mistaken for being underage. They never said anything to me when I lost...

T: But when you handed in your tickets they told you no because you're underage?

Kami: Yeah, yeah. Even though they said nothing to me when I was losing. Its like they come to stop you after you start winning.

T: I see.

Kami: They will take all the benefits, but when it starts to get unfavorable...I sense that unfairness.

T: Ah, yeh. Well, its true that the boxing commission already knew that Ioka had tattoos. And they asked him to take part.

J: Yeah. Its not like he got the tattoos right before this match.

T: Thats right. Incidentally, he got this particular tattoo in America in 2018, September, to show resovle and determination for his comeback fight. And this time, he has also added his son's name as if to say 'lets fight together'.

J: Oh, thats a nice meaning....Sue them!

T: Sue them?

J: Yes, Tokyo Sports should sue them.

T: Why just us? haha. We should together.

J: ???*4

K: I wonder how this will turn out though.

J: Yeah. Is Ioka following the boxing commission then?

T: He is still waiting to see what they decide.

J: Ah, ok.

T: He is still waiting for their judgment.

J: So like, it will depend on the level of punishment he gets.

K: They'll just say its the rules.

T: In that case, he might just go to America, if he can't fight any matches in Japan.

J: Well, yeah.

T: I think this would be a bigger problem if it happened outside the ring. But its happened within the ring. Its still a fact that tattoos are seen as scary in this culture.

K: It seems so to me, speaking as a person who has tattoos.

J: Thats what you have felt from experience?　Exactly.

K: But you could say that he knew this when he got the tattoos. He knew they would tell him to stop.

T: Like, boxers definitely understand this.

K: He knows it, but he is still appearing in the ring, so if he has determination and resolve, its great. If he doesn't, its no surprise if he gets complaints.

J, T: I see.

J: Well, considering he did try to hide it, but the covering just came off, I wonder what will happen. Its not like he can wear clothes over it, right?

K: He could have put tape on it.

J: Oh, right, you can hide it like that too?

T: Yeah, there might be something like skin coloured tape.

J: Kami, can we have a last word from you on this?

Kami: Well, whatever the rules, making them only apply to Japanese is strange, right?

J: Well, yes, thats true. We'll have to keep a look out for what happens with this from now on.

K: Well, yeh.

T: To see how it develops, yeh.

K: Yeah. Kami seemed a bit lacking in vitality today, didn't he?

J: Yeah, he seems down. Kami, did something happen to you at new year time?

Kami: No, no, Im fine! Don't I sound it?

K: You sound like you are lacking a bit of punch.

J: With it being boxing, you'd expect him to have more 'punch'.

K: He just seemed a bit...regular.

J: Yeah.

Kami: Regular? haha.

K: He's laughing, haha.

T, J: Haha

J: The staff are making me laugh.

K: Ok, shall we finish here for today?

J: Yes

K: Ok, please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1, 3 Not sure this is right.

*2, 4 Couldn't make out

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

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myfight · 3 years

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ME AND MY 2 BABIES STORY PLEASE HELP US ANYBODY PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Hello Everyone I´m sorry to bother you Guys right now but as of right now i don´t know what else to do im 28 years old born in NC and brought up in NC by my grandmother my mom had 8 of us lol yes 8 of us she dropped us first four off with our grandma for a man so coming up was hard especially been the third oldest i had to grow up fast started cooking at the age of 5 childhood was very messed up and we was highly affected by our mother actions which cause us major pain because of the things we had to go through and hear getting beatings with drop cords switches belts brooms etc whatever they had close by sadly my mother came back to take us when i reach middle school all because my dad gave my grandmother money for taking care of his two he got with my mom me and a brother my mom was money hungry and still is but since he didn't give her the money she came back to take us out of spite knowing she didn't want us have your mother ever told you if her grandma was living she wouldn't had no kids at all or wish she didn't have the kids she got or feel the need to tell her kids how long they gone live in this world and her favorite was we want live to see our old age smh well mines said all of it proudly with a smile we were damage by that as well when i was 16 i moved in with my boyfriend and his family who was next door to my mom i was threaten daily by him and when i would tell my mom she would ask me what did i do to him or say to him as if it was my fault and i actually thought i was the bad guy breaking all the relationship rules then them threats turned into major beatings where i would have to run next door crying with the black eyes busted lips and all only for my mother to say the same thing WHAT DID I DO TO HIM so wrong smh sad but true it was like she didn't want me staying with her because she knew we didn't like her young husband who was beating on her and when we would take up for her she turned on us and was on his side and whatever he say goes so if he didn't want me there even doe i´m her blood she birth me she wasn't gone go against him so i want gone be there smh so i had no where at all to go but back to the one abusing me in many different forms it was like a hobby for him years passing by and beatings getting worst more black eyes bruises and busted lips he kept me in the house from everybody and i mean everybody when i was 20 i was blessed to be pregnant just by the wrong man who i always tried to get away from but i was beyond happy because i would soon see and feel what real love feels like and i thought by me being pregnant with his child the cheating would stop and i would be safe from the beatings but oh no i thought wrong yes the beatings was worst the whole 9 months i had black eyes busted lips etc even was slammed on the ground slammed on top of rocks and all while pregnant with nobody to turn too feeling unwanted and worthless but still happy because i was becoming a mother thinking when i have our baby it would be better for us both and plus i had no where to go so 2012 i had my first real love my baby thank GOD I was crying with full of joy i can say the first 2 months everything was good falling into place for my family no more beatings but then his old ways came back i´m getting beatings in front of my 2 month old even while holding him at times i´m home daily while he out living life because of my baby i kept faith even through the beatings hurt and pain then 2 years later i found out i was pregnant again i was beyond happy again but he wasn't at all so them beatings was way worst now i´m getting beating while pregnant holding my 2 year old mother still next door asking me what am i doing wrong smh he would put crushed pills in my food and drinks he would put a lot of stuff in my food and drinks to make me lose my second child i´m getting stomped and all when he get upset with whoever or when he couldn't get his way or his weed he did so much to try an make me lose my baby i went to my mom house next door while he was working i begged her to let me stay with her into i have my baby and ill do anything she said yes i could but i had to give her 200 in my food stamps every month and i was only getting 300 but i had to do whatever to save my baby this is year 2014 then i finally had my baby while staying at my moms when i was at the hospital he came crying saying all the right things i wanted to hear and now that my baby is here my mom no longer wanted us there so i went back to my baby daddy house the 3 of us everything was okay once again at first when my baby was 2 months he had came home around 3 or 4 am after leaving the club he came in all drunk just all over the place i whisper to him to please not be loud but i was talking to myself he was highly rude and loud now my 2 month old up crying and now he passes out as i´m trying to get her to stop crying he wakes up and look at me and her as we in the rocking chair and says ´´SHUT THAT LIL BITCH UP´´ and i responded back and said ´´MY BABY not NO BITCH AND YOU THE REASON SHE UP NOW¨¨ he responded back by saying the same thing so i said the same thing back as well then next thing i know i closed my eyes they were shut so tight all i could hear was a big boom and my two month old screaming when i opened my eyes all i could see was plate glass all in her hair blanket on her face and body and the same with me i broke down crying he kicked us out in the cold rain for about 30 minutes the next day came he comes in the room sees me holding my 2 month old with my 2 year old standing close by and i was on the phone and he heard me begging for some type of family help to leave from him asap i was crying he told me to get off the phone and when i didn't he throw his cellphone at me his cell phone hit my hand and broke my finger smh he put us in his car he pulled my hair all the way from our little city to the next little city while i´m in the backseat with both my babies holding them crying and that ride was almost a 30 minute ride now my scalp was bleeding and all sadly when we got back to his house i watched him sleep thinking about taking his life for all them years of beatings and cheating crying so bad and then i looked at my babies and said GOD blessed me for a reason and hes not worth leaving them because i´m all they got and want nobody treat them like i do i didn't go to sleep that night the next day he left to go out of town for work and i packed all of our stuff up and left he quit his job that same day and came where we was asking me to come back home and be with him but i was beyond tired now and over it so i said no he said ok you know what BITCH i´m tired of you and all i heard was his gun cock back and he turned around with it in his hand and all i did was fall into the front door of my grandma house on top of both my babies scared out of my mind crying laying on top of my two babies luckily my elderly cousin was there so he didn't shot the gun he said he got something for me and took off i called the law he went to jail he got out and the next day he was already with another woman everyone asked me how he moved on so fast after a day and i told them she was with him as long as i was even while i was living with him like i said before he was cheating and i was getting the beatings but me moving out him moving on didn't stop him from coming and putting his hands on me with his famous line you my baby mama i can do this and that smh never knew how to take him and at this point he would come kick in the door run over my babies bikes and all then call the police on his self and wait for them to come smh crazy right his woman he was with got mad at him and called the Social Services with a bunch of lies and the crazy part about it she called SS because the night before he wouldn't have sex with her childish right but she thought he didn't want to have sex with her because he was cheating with someone else or me baby girl not this one i was THANKING GOD i wasn't the one getting beatings every other day in front of my babies didn't even wish that on her but she texted him and said she was gone hurt him and me by getting our kids taken when i wasn't bothering them she was very close reaching that devilish goal especially with the lies that came out of her mouth but THANK GOD she was a highly sloppy sneaky person because when he showed the text of her saying that´s how she was gone hurt me and him by getting our kids taken SS dropped the case she went to jail too and they broke up for a week then he came back wanting my kids to go with her somewhere i said no he slapped me but that slapped didn't make me change my mind and when i told him its either my kids spending time with him without her because she just tried to have them taken he gone say to me and my kids goodbye he pick her so i said to hell with him he missing out on them growing up but he didn't care he made that clear and i was tired of being the nice person and at least let him try to be a dad he wasn't paying child support and he would see them every blue moon one day we had no food i called him and asked him to bring them a 1 dollar burger a piece he asked me do he look like a damn soup kitchen i said no you would look like a father smh i was working at a fast food place he came to the job bothering me being funny posting on Facebook him and his woman clowning me about where i was working but as a MOTHER a job is a job smh 2019-2020 me and my babies was homeless going house to house very unwelcome and unwanted getting talked about and trashed even slept in a car no help no support so called family talking down about us 3 among each other behind my back then they end up having a falling out and then start telling what each other said about me and my kids in front of me and my babies that shit was very hurtful all i did was cry only for my two babies to say don´t cry we went to stay with my dad my blood dad it only last two days because i woke up to him touching me sexually saying he feel like i´m hurt and unhappy and he would do whatever it takes to make me happy again and i told him as long as i have them to amazing kids ill always be happy i felt hurt by him doing me like that it messed me up it had me thinking have he did me like this when i was a baby a little girl because why would he try me while i´m a grown ass woman a mother of 2 i covered both my kids body parts mad as hell feeling like he would try them if he just tried me and it was 4 am i texted my sister and told her hurry up and pick us up because i was gone take his life yes my dad i was gone kill him for doing that dirty mess to me my clothes was still on and stuff he was rubbing between my legs on top of my pants while the 3 of us was sleep and i woke up even then he tried to say he was trying to hug me sadly and nasty at 6 am we was gone back to been homeless smh my kids dad making 23 an hour living his best life with his woman without a care in the world about his kids well being i´m their the full time mother and father and i always enjoy it then one day my kids dad called and was trashing me i was crying my baby got on the phone and said you not gone keep talking to my mom like that at the age of 5 i didn't tell him to say it and it shocked me and a few minutes later my grandma came in the house and said your kids dad outside my son started crying my grandma was like let him just talk to him i´m gone be right out there with him so they walks outside my kids dad made it to his car with my son before my grandma could even get off the porch next thing i know i could hear the horn blowing and my grandma being loud i ran outside he had locked my son in the car with him and was hitting my baby in the head with his hand and my son head was hitting the horn all because my baby said don´t talk to his mom like that smh so i called the law and ran outside with a knife ready for war not my son he let my crying baby out the car and took off he told my grandma that he would spit and hit her in the face like he did me so my grandma wanted us to leave she said she was to old for all that and i couldn't blame her but i was beyond hurt we had no where else to go the safe space ended up blessing us with the help of getting our own place thank GOD and i was working doing PCA Nursing everything going good and that so called mother of mines was working at the same job i had to work on Thanksgiving Christmas and all and it was suppose to be special because it was our first Christmas in our own house but we needed the money the 3 of us then one day that so called mother wanted me to work with her after i had just got done doing a 20 hr swift so she could spend time with that same husband who didn't like her kids who didn't want her to let me and my babies stay with her so we wouldn't be homeless when he lives else where but still control her and her house too the same husband she put before us when i said NO she fired me then called the boss a close friend of hers and told her i was fired and the boss went with it when the 89 year patient said i was the best worker she ever had i treated her like a queen i did her feet and all did things i didn't have to do i treated her like she was my great grandma i did everything how she loved it and wanted it trying to make her last years her best years i cried like a baby because i loved my patient so much i needed her like she needed me she was hurt and she still hurt now about it so next thing i know our power goes off the end of January 2021 when i called SS to get help paying it they said they can only help once a year and they had made a payment for me already i was lost and shocked come to find out a family member i trusted used my info and me and my kids names to get her light bill paid smh so they wouldn't help us and by me telling them that a family member used my info and i wanted to have them do something about it that family member was upset and called SS made some hurtful reports so my kids had to stay else where since the power was off and i wasn't no longer working so they was at my so called mother house who i wasn't dealing with because i put her in her place about how she treated us coming up and stuff smh she made everything worst for me i mean very worst now February comes lights still off and now we getting evicted as well so now its more then temporary since the eviction and SS don´t want my kids to be homeless again and neither did i they my everything but its a thing called karma my so called mom did me so wrong and i´ve begged and begged so many people to help us but nothing at all no type of help and support but that so called mom of mines got evicted and got into Friday and i found out yesterday that she was evicted and that my kids were crying because they have to move with their dad its killing me to see them hurt if i can get our rent paid and lights on then us 3 can be together or find somewhere to stay we can be together but i have nobody at all just us 3 its killing me that they hurting we always been together i´ve been the mother and father giving them everything i´ve always went without making sure they have i don´t care if i only had one outfit they will forever have plenty of everything i don´t have to eat as long as they full if i could i would give them the world with everyone still on it i need my babies just like they need me i´m their better half and they my better half they give me life they make my life beyond better since day one i cant live without them nor be without them to see my babies crying not being with me and having to go somewhere they don´t want be there never have never will and he even told the social services he don´t want them that hurts but he don´t have to want them i do and always have wanted them and always will if i had the right family and support and help things would be better but i have nobody but them they have nobody but me and i have nobody but them and GOD i´m dying in the inside and GOD knows that if they not with me i don´t wanna be here people will never know the pain i´m going through their dad toke them on his taxes and all he didn't offer us the right help didn't care at all about helping PERIOD my kids are down and out without me scared crying everyday and i´m not eating nor sleeping before i let them suffer and be hurt ill battle my life away for their happiness i´m their mother and father and i got into FRIDAY before my kids go with where they don´t want to be and where he don´t want them to be i´ve email so many people begging for help with some many tears in my eyes with a broken soul about to get a new job next week but i need help now and as i begged for help i gave them my landlord number i don´t need to touch any money or anything i just need a helping hand for us somebody anybody please please ill do anything GOD knows that i cant take it all we need is help and hope i´m breaking down into pieces without my babies everybody know how much i love my babies they my best friends and all we super close just like its hurting me its hurting them and ain´t nobody trying to help us and i thought their would be more people like me when i was working i was buying food for homeless giving them money and all that´s my type of heart and my babies ill give my last to anybody let people live with us now they got their own place and didn't offer me and my babies a place to stay not even one night before they was taken temporarily smh its killing me i need help ASAP PLEASEEEEEE ain´t nobody perfect but i´m perfect for my kids just like they are beyond perfect for me please somebody help us Thank You

#someone help #the giving pledge #please help #rental assistance #charity #safespace

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rjshepherd · 5 years

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Play by play of me reading the Poldark novels part 2 : Demelza

Again. Polly choak makes me’ brain hurt trying to understand. I have to say the words out loud to understand her.

“he often thought if a man were allowed a second wife he would have his cousin” Ross my darling I understand you love Verity but there are better ways of putting it.

Pg43 George is being a snob and it’s to the Teagues and honestly I Stan this snobbery

Ok I HATE Demelzas dad. But him ripping into Francis was funny

Pg 124 “have you thrown Dr choak in a pool” I wish.

Cary finally makes an appearance. I was wondering what had happened that him. although he does live in the shadows.

Jud’s “ world’s too full. They should be drowned mebbe” I must say I never got any whiff’s of misanthropy from TV Jud.

Did grambler mine close in the TV show? I don’t remember. It is francis’s mine right

Apparently it is. Francis is still an idiot.

Oh and Jud too. Slander Ross will you?

And why bring poor Jinny into Ur nonsense Jud?? Poor creatures suffered enough!

Ok the mining talk is back and I am bored.

I don’t think I’ve ever taken a quicker dislike to a character than Hugh bodrugan. Literally not even a full paragraph. Keep your lecherous hands off demelza. And all the maids for that matter you disgusting fox hunting want wit.

Demelza being a socially anxious mess is a big fucking mood.

And she’s kinda an alcoholic. how many glasses of port has she drunk so far? ive lost count but its at least 20

Yea being married to Ross would drive to drink too girl.

I’m still in 2 minds bout Ross. On the one hand he’s a ass on the other hand he has a good heart. Thinking that the fancy folk to basically get fucked was a good one. hes not perfect but i think i like him

Polly choak and Mrs teague still need to fuck right off.

I’m seeing a theme of things that were mercifully cut down in the TV show. This party springs to mind and all the gambling. im not sure what purpose it serves to the story or Ross’s character. it does make me dislike most of the other characters a lot more mind you.

Demelza cradling Ross after he had a shitty day is kinda sweet. i want a hug from demelza...

Thank fuck that party is over. Even I wanted to go home by the end

Papa warleggan seems like the only sensible one on the family. He says George can start shit but he’s gotta do it legitimately, like a good boy.

Lmao Francis falling asleep in church is a BIG mood.

Keren accusing Dwight of raping her to save her ow skin makes me want to vomit.

Ok I didn’t like her but everyone just going “ well she kinda asked for it” when Keren died was bs. fuck the lot o’ ye’s

Wait aren’t Dwight and Ross friends? Why is Dwight so much younger than Ross, didn’t he serve as army surgeon?

So Ross , acting out the fantasy of the audience , has called Francis a dumb fuck although not in those words

Well someone needed to do it. He is fucking stupid. Good for Verity getting out of there. only that shed done it sooner.

Ross is dressed like a bat. The black, the distain for mankind the love of animals and plants.

He’s a goth I knew it

Tf kinda name is kerenhappuch.

hold on im going to google this.

it is hebrew apparently.

Ross asking people to follow the spirit of the law rather than the letter is so funny.

Francis is a little bitch part 743

“Elizabeth breakfasts upstairs these days” yea no fucking wonder ya mook. I wouldn’t want to dine in Ur company either.

I recant my earlier statement. Francis is not better than his and wish to slap him so hard his tits turn concave

Actually everyone needs to calm their tits about Verity. Demelza was right and I will not be swayed

HUGH BODRUGAN IS GROSS. WHY WOULD YOU ASK HOW DEMELZA IS IN BED YOU FILTH MONGER

Ross basically telling George “ you can’t sit with us” was fucking savage and I LOVE IT.

I’ve yet to read anything sadder than" for Julia had died the night before" I am WEEPING

I don’t rightly remember the ship wreck but I do remember Ross finding Samson’s body and just leaving his sorry ass. i mean he felt bad about it but what could he do? he definitely deserved it more than most.

We have a contender for the saddest line award “I shan’t have to finish that frock for Julia now” WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE US ON THAT MR GRAHAM.

so in summary : good book, fuck the teagues and the choaks and fuck francis extra hard.

#poldark #ross poldark #poldark novels #francis poldark #george warleggan #demelza poldark #demelza carne #elizabeth chynoweth #look at me rant

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gotatext · 5 years

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PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad.

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass.

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well.

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze). animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing

#wshedtask002

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bioticmabari · 5 years

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Just so y’all’s thirst for drama is sated, here’s how friday went.

I got lost because I never verified my date location, ended up watching battle of the bands on a college campus, got free Monster??? Got free cotton candy???? I texted my date to be like ok haha this is fine but like... where are u and where am i supposed to be because i think im lost??? I start to cry bc I figure I would have seen him by now. He’s not responding to my text. I reread an older message and figure out where I’m supposed to be... and give myself a pep talk about not needing to fix my damn makeup so stobbit. Oh shit 15 minute walk to this bar and I don’t want to move my car from the garage so... So I start booking it across the campus bridge by myself towards the city. Then I find out he thought he texted me saying he got stuck at work, but was sitting in his drafts folder. Could we do another night? *sad trombone

And I’m like “oh” so I start walking back across the bridge. At this point it’s almost 8pm, it’s getting dark, and I’m by myself, so I’m like it’s okay I can go back to my car, head home, and at least I had a nice walk around the campus and a little outing where I got free food and drink. :) Little stressful at times, but still fun in itself. Well, I let it slip that I went to the campus bc I got confused and I’m near the bar, but it’s ok we can go out some other time. He’s like nah I’ll leave work now and come see you I feel bad you came all that way! So I’m like “fuck i ain’t walking back across this damn bridge again.” I get in my car and drive to the bar. I pass it twice before finding a parking garage down the road. The streets look busyish so I don’t feel bad about the 10 minute walk when I get out. I’m walking near a lady with her doggo so I feel pretty happy, crossing the street to avoid a rando dude who looks a little wacked out on my way.

So I get there and I don’t know if this is right, but goddamn it this is a bar and I’m at least gonna have a drink and if nothing else I’ll have gotten that tonight. So like I’m sitting there, feeling weird bc there’s some dudes across the bar looking at me, but i vaguely remember my date’s face from bumble so i’m like “hmm nope pls stop. uneasy peasy pleasy leavesme.”

I finish my drink, thinking “wow that was light.” A dude comes in and sits a seat away from me and he doesn’t look familiar at all. So I’m scrolling through my phone, looking at dumb shit on tumblr, looking at the comments on my silly bts fic and i get a message that he’s here. I look up at the door and outside, nada. I look around and I don’t see him. Keep scrolling. I think about getting another drink but idk. I kind of look up at the tv and then look over and the dude that sat down is looking at me and he’s like “oh hey are you Kristi.”

And I feel so bad that I didn’t recognize my own date. But there you go i Guess. I do my best to hide my goddamn shame by ordering another drink and the alcohol starts HITTING me, like, fuck I need to sober up because now I can’t just leave if it doesn’t go well. So I guzzle that second drink and am the most pleasant, outgoing, social butterfly bitch that I have ever been. I liked his company tbh. He was nice, but he didn’t leave a lasting impression. I might do a second date if he asked, but i won’t go pushing for it tbh. I think long term I need someone who’s gonna leave that impression, who’s gonna be a little shit and make jokes with me, someone who’s gonna be willing to go out of their own comfort zone for me, like I do for them. and i just dont think this is it. but that’s okay! it’s still an experience, and it’s not a bad one, so I’ll take it. I can grow and learn from it.

So we’re talking for a couple hours and it doesn’t feel like work, which is nice bc ive been on a date like that, where it’s like “fuck how do i end this? i want to leave this is painful.” but it wasn’t. it was chill. I was drunk. Speaking way louder than I would like and being cute af, so much that it made me super exhausted and gave me cute scratchy voice from talking about lots of silly shit and telling jokes.

So I’ve had 2 drinks and 4-5 glasses of water. It’s 11:30 and Im like fuck I need to go home. I am so drained. My energy is spent, and I need to go to bed fuck. goddamn. I’m sobered up. I’m good. I say goodbye and say it was nice to meet him, which it was. I give a big hug, not an awkward one like my last 2 date fails. like a really good, soft hug.

And then I’m out the door. 11:30pm and I’m walking the city by myself, not even an offer to walk me back safely. and im like... okay this is fine. The streets are like dead quiet now and I like panic a little, getting my best bitchface on, zipping up and hiding that cleavage, and power-walking in the better lit areas on my route back to the car. I call my friends so I’m not alone because my anxiety is flaring like crazy and I want to cry bc i’m so scared walking alone??? but like it’s okay because it’s all experience i tell myself. I’m walking fast, being as safe as I can, talking with my friends, and I had a decent time. I get safely in my car and drive home and I just think about my night.

It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t like the one date I was on where I was fucking beaming the rest of the night like a fool. I want that feeling. I don’t want a mediocre experience. I don’t want to settle for “he’s really nice I guess and it doesn’t seem like he will hurt me.” I want “I can’t stop smiling because I like you so much and I can’t wait to see you again, but also I want to tell you what a silly shithead you are??? and i like it???”

The consensus for me is that I keep searching. Someday I’ll get that D. Maybe that V. WHo knows??? it a mystery that im cool keeping open for now.

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vigilent-yaksha · 7 years

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tagged by: @aggy-the-which <3

Last drink: som agua

Last phone call: gamestop bc they wanted an interview

Last text message: me gf abt job stuffs and THE FUTURE

Last song you listened to: fuckin uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh why do i cry by remote girl??? its so fucin good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRAw5wsAKik

Last time i cried: i dont remember, probably over smthn dumb tho

Dated someone twice: nooooooooooo...?

Kissed someone and regretted it: naw son, all keeses good keeses

Been cheated on: gosh i hope not

Lost someone special: no

Been depressed: hell yea biihhh B)

Gotten drunk and thrown up: nop! j

Fave colours: lilac, ruddy pink, basically bright neon rainbows,black, and cyan blue!

In the last year have i…

Made new friends: a bunch!

Fallen out of love:no :0

Laughed until you cried: lmao all the time

Found out someone was talking about you: no p

Meet someone who changed you: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMM

not rlly? im just a nasty boy aint nithin changin me

Found out who your friends are: lmao, none of my friends have been snakes, YET

General

How many facebook friends do you know irl: most except like.... 2

Do you have any pets: my dog napoleon! hes a fuck!

Do you want to change your name: yea boiiii, idk if i wanna change my last names tho.

What did you do for your last birthday: nothing!

What time did you wake up today: like 11:30 and i was almost late to my interview ;w;

What were you doing at midnight last night: drawing and watchin some movies

What is something you can’t wait for: hanging w my gf, uuuhh thE SUMMER.

What are you listening to right now: som good ol’ gamley grump

Have you ever spoken to a person named tom: ....n...no?? idk man everyone i know is latino/ not white, i maybe met a tom once.

Something that’s getting on your nerves: i dont wanna say it, its too mean ;w;

Most visited website: uh, dA and youtube really? im mostly on mobile tumblr sooooo

Hair colour: black!

might dye it but, im looking for a job so //SHRUGS

Long or short hair: short and choppy! i cut my own hair so i keep it shaggy

Do you have a crush on someone: im very gay for rami malek and mads mikkelson, also my girlfriend i guess shes cool too ;)

What do you like about yourself: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh my HAIR

god i love my hair i think its the most unique part of me, and my eyes, theyre small and cute, also my moles.

Want any piercings: hmm i wanna get a nose one but ima baby so ill probably wear fake ones,

Blood type: idk man

Nicknames: bec, guts, pissboy, teddy bear, and more probably

Relationship status: me and my gf thottin around

Zodiac: gemini

Pronouns: he/him

Fave tv shows: madok magic, drago maido, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh

mobbu psycho.............uh.....

Tattoos: none, but i wanna get a witches kiss frm madok on my bod somewhere

Right or left handed. right

Ever had surgery: yeeee

twice i think

Piercings: ears and my lip used 2 be pierced but i just let it close

Sport: naw but i like to dabble

Vacation: hmm.... anywhere as long as i can road trip there, deffs japan,

More general.

Eating: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM cant ever stop me from gobbling everything up, my fav foods are dumplings/potstickers, fried rice,tortilla soup, and.. alot ok i love alot

Drinking: i hate soda except apple sodas and sangria, ( w the occasional grape), uhh.... i guess i sorta drink the alcohols, nut much, just socially if im w the boys

I’m about to watch: nothin, still watchin gamley gramps

Waiting for: me to stop being lazy 2 get some food

Want: M O N E Y

Get married: Maybe! idk it depends in how it works out! i certaily hope so !

Career: idk man fuckin,,,,

Which is better

Hugs or kisses:huggus

Lips or eyes: lippies

Shorter or taller: im tall, i like being tall, but my gf is a teeny tiny baby, so both

Older or younger: older!

Arms or stomach: tum!

Hook up or relationship: ....uh.. neither??

Troublemaker or hesitant: TROUBLE

Have you ever

Kissed a stranger: Ye, twice

Drank hard liquor: is drinking straight fireball like.. hard liquor?

Lost glasses: no but i break em all the time,

Turned someone down: not... explicitly, they just told me they liked me, said some sexual things, and then never responded when i said i was uncomfortable, then i got together w my gf a day later!

Sex on the first date: naw homie, i am a civilized boy

Broken someone’s heart: //SHRUGS, all of my exes excpet one have broken up with me, exept one, but they had someone new a few days later so, i doubt they missed me

Had your heart broken: meh

Been arrested: probably

Cried when someone died: well yea.

Fallen for a friend: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Do you believe in

Yourself: HELL YEA

Miracles:i belive in good karma, so i suppose.

Love at first sight: MMMMM. it depends, bc you can start having feelings for someone as you see them, but those feelings should be explored before realizing you really want to be with them, is your humor compatible? is your way of speaking and acting compatible?

Santa claus: bih im latino we partied all night santa was never a thing for us

Angels: the angle in my heart is my darling gremlin

Other

Best friends name: i have alot ok, so many friends i love

Eye colour: dark dark DARK brown.

Favourite movie: uh, this is hard, i guess i alwasy go back to watch the rebellion movie, uuuhh.... fuckin,,,, //SHRUGS

Fave actor: rAM I M A L E K

#it wont let me write more so thats all //SHRUGS #bec babble

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restlessghoste · 7 years

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in + out

Prompt: Story idea: Amy and Karma are in denial of being in love and they are sleeping together. Despite their friends opinions they decide to use a “punch card” to have sex to prove they can have sex without feelings. After they use all the punches they have to stop but they realize their true feelings.

Chapter 2

As usual, I wake up before Karma. My first sight is her, on her side not facing me. For a while, I watch her, trying to remember how we got here. I roll onto my back and stare up at my ceiling. My mind wanders back to that night.

That night, September 5th

Why Karma wanted to drag me to this stupid party is beyond me. Liam, Lauren, and Shane were going too, but that hardly makes a difference. Whenever the five of us go to parties together, we all usually end up doing our own things and splitting off with different goals in mind. Liam and Shane’s goals are usually to hook up. Lauren usually looks for more ways to make herself more popular by socializing. Karma and I usually just stick together. If we start to get bored, we leave. But once in awhile, we’ll find different people to hook up with. On a good night, we both find someone to hook up with. The last time we went to a party like this, Karma found a good looking guy named Aiden. He never called her back. Somehow, I was able to find a nice girl as well, but didn’t follow through. The girl was so drunk, she could barely walk so I called her a cab instead. Her name was… Julie or Jules or something? My thoughts are interrupted by Karma lightly touching my shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” And she leaves my side. Usually, that’s code for ‘I’ve got my eye on someone, I’m going in for the kill.’ Most likely, she will not ‘be right back.’ A half an hour goes by and I start to assume my theory is right. I make my way to the kitchen where Liam is inhabiting. He’s surrounded by three girls who are giggling uncontrollably at something he said. When I enter, he points at me. “Hey, let me make you a drink.” Shrugging, I take a seat on the stool across from where he’s standing. “You like old fashioned?” He asks as he gets a glass out of the cabinet. “Definitely.” I say, watching him as he takes out a bottle of whiskey. When he’s done, he pushes the glass toward me, to which I gladly lift to my lips. At the taste, I grimace. “Damn, that’s strong.” “That is a Manhattan.” Liam smiles as he leans forward on the kitchen island. “I know you have a high tolerance, but I doubt it can keep up with that beauty.” He nods toward the glass in my hand.

“Great.” I chuckle, already feeling a little dizzy. “I’ll catch up with you later.” “Ok. If you need anything, I’ll be here.” Liam says, “Let me know if you need a ride. I saw Karma with a dude.” “Course you did.” I mutter as I take another sip while walking away. It was only a matter of time before I had to use the bathroom, so I went upstairs in search of one. I went to the first door to the right and stumbled into a bedroom. Two people were making out on the bed. They jumped apart at the sound of my entrance. “Oh my god, sorry I-” Then I realize it’s Karma and the random guy she probably was planning on hooking up with. They’re both roughed up and messy from the make out session. The guy is staring at me as if annoyed by my disruption. Karma, on the other hand, refused to meet my eyes. “-was looking for a bathroom.” I finish, clearing my throat awkwardly.

“There’s a bathroom right over there you can use.” Karma says, still not able to look at me. And sure enough, there’s a bathroom connected to this room, which must be the master bedroom. “Thanks.” I say. Awkwardly, I move past the guy to go to the bathroom.

When I come out, Karma’s alone on the bed. The guy is nowhere to be seen and she’s laying on her back, staring at the ceiling. She turns her head to me and smiles slightly. “Where’d your hookup go?” I ask, placing myself on the edge of the bed next to her. “Probably still sulking that you killed his boner.” The redhead replies casually. On the other hand, my eyes widen. “Sorry, Karms. I didn’t mean to-” “Don’t bother.” Karma says, turning onto her side to face me, “I told him if his penis is that easy to turn off, I don’t want it.” I can’t help but laugh at that. “Wow. So not ‘the one’, huh?” Karma scoffs and sits up. “I hope I never find ‘the one’ at a party.” “Me neither.” I chuckle. Then I turn my head to look at Karma and I realize how close we are in proximity.

What happens next is inevitable. Her lips meet mine and it’s like second nature. It’s magnetic and automatic. It’s as if right when we kissed, the entire world exhaled and said the word ‘finally,’ which was also the word running through my head over and over again.

I pushed her away gently when the sober part of me asks ‘what the fuck are you doing, Amy?’

“We’re drunk.” I state. Though, on my part, I’m not that drunk. Karma shakes her head as she catches her breath. “It’s ok,” She pants, “It doesn’t have to mean anything.” She snakes her arms around my neck and kisses me once more. And once more, I’m drawn in. That night was definitely not our first time, but somehow, it felt like it was.

But the next morning, we didn’t hold hands. We didn’t cuddle and revel in our newfound love. When we woke up, we rushed to get changed. We said bye to each other and went separate ways. Since then, we’ve had regular hook ups and remained best friends. The problem was our group of friends knew. They know. Lately, they’ve been giving us a really hard time about it. They don’t get how we’re able to pass this off as no strings attached. Karma and I have been hooking up with other people with no strings attached for months. Since we’ve been hooking up with each other, we haven’t been with other people. With each other, it’s easier. We get the memo without saying it. Get in, get out. That’s it. No attachments. Nothing. The sound of Karma stirring brings me back to the present. Turning to face her, I watch as she stretches and turns to face me. She gives me a small smile that gives me butterflies. “Hey.” She says.

“Hey.” I reply. We don’t usually stay in the morning. One of us usually gets up. But it feels good to have this moment, even if it has to be broken soon. Karma surprises me once more and closes the space between us to place her lips against my bare shoulder. It’s barely a touch, but it stirs so many feelings. Feelings I’m not supposed to have. Then as quickly as it happened, Karma pulls away and sits up. “I should get going.” “Yeah.” I say, getting up as well to go to the bathroom. When I come out, I’m surprised Karma is still in my room. Fully dressed, but still present. I raise an eyebrow. “Hey, stranger.” Karma smiles at the greeting. “Can I use your bathroom? Sorry, I just really need to brush my teeth. Do you still keep my spare underneath the sink?” “Yup.” I tell her as I plop on my bed and grab my phone. I hear the faucet running when I open the first text I missed from Liam.

Hey, where the fuck are you and Karm? We thought you two were going to come to winter formal last night??? Call me.

Can’t blame him for being worried. He’s being a good friend. But a part of me is pretty sure he knows very well where we were and is fully aware what we were doing. He’s just asking for confirmation. I text him back, hey im not going to call, karms is in my bathroom. Just gonna say we found better things to do.

Right when I hit send, my bathroom door opens and Karma exits. “Thanks, aims. See you at school later?” “See you.” I reply, shooting her a smile as she leaves my room. Not even a second after she leaves, my phone vibrates. Liam replied, i see… see u in a few hours?

I type yea and hit send before getting up to get ready for school.

As I walk to school, the piece of paper in my pocket feels heavy. Six. We can only hook up six more times before we shut it down. In my mind, I wonder when these six times will occur and where. I don’t know where Karma stands, but I definitely don’t want to waste those six times. It’s definitely going to be hard to limit ourselves since we’re used to seeing each other almost every night. This is going to be interesting.

#faking it fanfic #faking it fanfiction #faking it #fi #fi fanfic #fi fanfiction #in + out #ekena #karmy #amy #karma #update #request

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fakingitfanfiction · 7 years

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in + out

Previous Chapter

Chapter 2

That night, September 5th

The last time we went to a party like this, Karma found a good looking guy named Aiden. He never called her back. Somehow, I was able to find a nice girl as well, but didn’t follow through. The girl was so drunk, she could barely walk so I called her a cab instead. Her name was… Julie or Jules or something? My thoughts are interrupted by Karma lightly touching my shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” And she leaves my side. Usually, that’s code for ‘I’ve got my eye on someone, I’m going in for the kill.’ Most likely, she will not ‘be right back.’ A half an hour goes by and I start to assume my theory is right. I make my way to the kitchen where Liam is inhabiting. He’s surrounded by three girls who are giggling uncontrollably at something he said. When I enter, he points at me. “Hey, let me make you a drink.” Shrugging, I take a seat on the stool across from where he’s standing. “You like old fashioned?” He asks as he gets a glass out of the cabinet. “Definitely.” I say, watching him as he takes out a bottle of whiskey. When he’s done, he pushes the glass toward me, to which I gladly lift to my lips. At the taste, I grimace. “Damn, that’s strong.” “That is a Manhattan.” Liam smiles as he leans forward on the kitchen island. “I know you have a high tolerance, but I doubt it can keep up with that beauty.” He nods toward the glass in my hand.

When I come out, Karma’s alone on the bed. The guy is nowhere to be seen and she’s laying on her back, staring at the ceiling.

She turns her head to me and smiles slightly. “Where’d your hookup go?” I ask, placing myself on the edge of the bed next to her. “Probably still sulking that you killed his boner.” The redhead replies casually. On the other hand, my eyes widen. “Sorry, Karms. I didn’t mean to-” “Don’t bother.” Karma says, turning onto her side to face me, “I told him if his penis is that easy to turn off, I don’t want it.” I can’t help but laugh at that. “Wow. So not ‘the one’, huh?” Karma scoffs and sits up. “I hope I never find ‘the one’ at a party.” “Me neither.” I chuckle. Then I turn my head to look at Karma and I realize how close we are in proximity.

I push her away gently when the sober part of me asks ‘what the fuck are you doing, Amy?’

Hey, where the fuck are you and Karm? We thought you two were going to come to winter formal last night??? Call me.

I type yea and hit send before getting up to get ready for school.

#faking it #faking it fanfiction #karmy #update #request #amy #karma #submission #in + out #ekena

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this-blog-should-not-exist · 7 years

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It’s a blog for a reason

Idk if i’ll keep up with this actually or not but its a blog for a reason, they’re places were you can talk about whatever the fuck you want. I said Id do the same thing with my personal blog but also I follow some friends on that blog and they probably don't want to hear about the stuff I get up to or my little depressive episodes. I mean sure they’ll show their concern but that only goes so far I guess.

Idk I mean it’s just a place for me to talk, I once started a google docs document where I had the idea to start writing like a guide? i guess you could call it but where I would write the name of someone I knew, one of my friends, a family member, ex boyfriends, whoever then I would create an entry of who they were, their interactions with me, my relationship with them and what I thought of them or their like defining character traits or actions that stood out to me. The benefit with this though I guess is that I can just type whatever comes to mind as i type it. Sometimes it could be organized and tie into older posts if I keep up with it or it could just be on the fly stories and recollections of thing that have happened to me or what I’m feeling at the time. Ive meant or at least had the idea to actually physically write this or start a journal where I could do the same thing but that would take me much longer to do where typing I can do much faster and get more thoughts out. Plus writing for so long and about so much makes my hand hurt after a while and I can’t talk about all I wanted to because I can't keep writing. I don't have that problem with typing XD

I guess I could start with some recent events that have been on my mind. So I guess about like 2 months ago? I had gotten a Tinder. That in itself was an event XD Ive always been both curious and scared of it because in my mind meeting someone on tinder doesn't feel as genuine when meeting someone by chance or passing or words between friends to meet someone new. But I had gotten one and within a few weeks I had made quite a few matches, however none of them seemed really into it. Half of them never messaged me back and only seemed to be there for the sake of getting a match, others may have talked back but didn't seem interested in trying to start something or meet up for a date. I had finally gotten one guy to go on a date with me, I had never really talked to him but Ive seen his face around because we had some friends within the same social group but like I said, never really met or talked to him only seen him on like instagram before. We had gone on one date and texted a bit but he just wasnt for me. I called him a “real flower child” is the best way I can describe it. Now I don't mean to offend anyone but also who the fuck is gonna read all this, this is only my first like text blog post no one really cares its more for me to get this out. Anyway I call him a real flower child because he's very outdoorsy and loves nature and Lana Del Ray and has the whole nose ring piercing, curly hair, circular glasses, he actually said once “the world make me sad” as he took a bath with candles and a bath bomb, he also said “wine makes me cry” which I mean ok maybe wine does make people drunk cry but still its all about his aesthetic. Its a fun aesthetic but that’s just not for me.

After him I had an occasional match but I ran into the same problem where either no one wanted to talk and was just there for a match or they never seemed interested. I had given up on the app really but I kept it around because in the back of my head I'm thinking like alright, its all good, I'm a patient person it just takes some time, you never know I may meet someone actually, and then last week I matched with two guys. One that lives on the other side of Columbus and one that lives just outside of Easton. The one on the other side of Columbus is really cute and had a lot of the same interests and is just kinda quirky and fun, I just haven't met him yet but we both want to meet up. Now the other one I’ll just say J, he lives outside of Easton and I went on my first date with him on Sunday. It was a good day, we had wandered around Easton, gone out to eat and saw a movie. He also has a lot of the same interests as me, video games, some anime, youtube, but thats about it actually now that I think about it. He's a little rough, like more aggressive but in a sarcastic way I guess. But we vibe well together i feel. Shorter than me, has contacts, wears glasses occasionally mostly at home really. He's 21 as well which I mean sure Im 19 but I guess thats where Im also attracted to him because he's a little older, he’s more mature than some of my past boyfriends but also has a childish side like me. Thats where we’re similar. We went and saw Mother! which I guess was supposed to be a phycological thriller but it was really dumb to us, it didn't make much sense. I was during the movie where I first kissed him, I had wanted to earlier as well but I didn’t feel like it was right yet. It made me laugh though that that was the movie we saw and decided ah yes, this is a good movie to kiss and cuddle and hold hands to.

After the movie I didn't quite want to leave yet because I was getting pretty attached to him that night so we went back to his apartment for the night. I watched him play Skyrim for a bit, he let me try out Overwatch while him and his roommate had gone to get her some pizza. Which I thought like alrighty, this is okay, just leave me alone at your apartment even though I literally just physically met you today. They came back after like a half hour, eventually me and him went back to his room, we made out for a good while on and off. He wanted to take a bath together which I had never done before. My last boyfriend had suggested it but I never really wanted to much. We got the water running for a second but I was really anxious, I had gotten my shirt off but I didn't take off my pants. He was already in his underwear, it took me a second but eventually he also kinda forced me as in getting close and kissing me then pulling down my shorts and underwear. I was really awkward at that point. It took me like 2 months before my last boyfriend had seen me naked and no one before him has seen me naked, its just not my thing its weird, I just don't like it much. But anyway so we had gotten in the shower instead, I was still pretty anxious. My legs were shaking I was hugging my body, it was just generally uncomfortable but within a few minutes I had mostly gotten over it. It just make me feel really weird. After the shower we got out and just laid on his bed for a bit still naked. I had gotten over it by that time but there was still some after feelings that I guess I didn't notice as much since we were making out again. Eventually we but our underwear back on and a t shirt and went to bed after about another hour or so.

The next morning we just stayed in bed really until I had to leave to go back home because mom was wondering where I was, I had texted her last night that I was staying there with him so that was taken care of. Eventually I got home and that was that. He had actually invited me to a party one of his coworkers was having that night but I had already stayed with him one night and I had to but up early the next morning for work so I told him no I couldn't which of course he was pouting over a little but in a playful way that you would when your flirting with someone. So that night I actually ended up going to a party at my other friends house till like 1am but THAT was ok because he only lived like 5 minutes away from home compared to an hour that J lived. That was Monday night, the first date was Sunday and I stayed with J Sunday night. I worked early on Thursday morning but then he came out to my house that afternoon. We played some Mario Kart Double Dash at my house then drove out to my friends house Ive been housesitting for to technically grab some wires for my Wii but then we ended up taking another bath in their huge bathtub with jets for about an hour and a half which was nice. I was used to being naked with J by now. We watched some youtube while in the bath, made out for a bit again. Then we got dressed and drove back to my house. By the time we got back it was about 1am when I wanted to get to bed because between Sunday and Monday night I had gotten about 8 hours of sleep total. So he left and that was Tuesday. Now yesterday, Wednesday I worked again early in the morning, then I went back out to Columbus and saw J again for a few hours, we played some gamecube again, I went with him to get groceries, then me and him went out to eat. Came back and laid in his bed in our underwear again watching youtube and cuddling and kissing until it was about 11:30 then I went home again.

Idk what to make of J, I like him, he's the farthest Ive been on a first date thats for sure. I enjoy his company but do I? Or is it just because I haven't had any sort of attention like this in almost 6 months? Like I had said we share some similar interests. Video games, some music, a little bit of anime and legos. He's pretty sweet with me but also he's a little more aggressive than me, which I mean Im okay with kinda. challenge me a little, don't be afraid to playfully challenge and fight me. But don't be an ass about it. Idk theres the other kid on the other side of Columbus who I've been snap chatting as well but Ive been giving J most of my attention.

#me #relationship #gay #relationship advice #boyfriend #tinder #blog writing

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datingadviceonreddit · 7 years

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A long story...but worth the read if you're willing to!I met the guy I called my bf 10 days after my last bf left me. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life. I couldn’t believe the guy that walked in to the coffeeshop to sit down across the way from me. I am an engineer, a degree in physics a nerd among nerds among nerds and this guy, a Master’s Degree in sports management, a degree in communications we can call him Mr. Cool. He is Swiss and Indian, so you know just speaks 3 languages fluently, dad works for the UN…I mean come on now. For whatever reason, the dating gods graced me with perfection that day, I was witty, I was charming, I was having a non-bushy hair day. He kissed me outside the subway on the wall at the end of the date and I felt this flutter in my heart that made me let go of all the doubt I had about myself in my last relationships. He was it for me and I thought I had actually nailed it. It turns out he just thought it was hilarious and somewhat adorable that I had spinach (literally) in my teeth our first date.The day I fell for my bf was like a scene out of Pride and Prejudice. We spent the whole day at the Met Museum, me spouting off all my nerdy talk about medieval art, showing him my favorite pieces (yes I know that museum a bit too well). We had planned to grab dinner and a movie on the other side of the park that night. Of course, the second we walked out of the Met it started to downpour. It was like and Indian Monsoon he said. We found a guy selling large umbrellas (which btw where the hell do these umbrella sales peeps come from out of nowhere when it start to rain) and bought one. We walked through the park in the muddy paths all the while stopping to kiss and listen to the rain. And we got soaked… But really come on how could you not fall for someone so patient so sweet so handsome so unbelievably everything I’ve ever wanted in my life. I melted into his warmth in the theater that night while trying not to shiver from my wet feet. The rest as they say is history.The day he told me he loved me was weird. We had gone out that night for his best friends birthday. I had run into a friend on the streets (male) who worked at a wine bar in west village and offered us free champagne for Mr. Cool’s friends bday. Somehow everyone was really against accepting free champagne (they all thought it was like they were getting hustled as they did in Switzerland). We headed over to a club one of my friends was at The Jane which btw is always a horrible plan…there’s literally no air conditioning. At this point I was a little drunk…and when I get drunk I just talk…slurred but yes I talk a lot. I spoke to the bouncer going in and out of the club. Chatted with Mr.Cools friends or so I thought. When we got back to my place, suddenly Mr. Cool was pissed off at me. He started yelling at me and asking me “is this how you always act, just flirt with everyone?” Now just a little background…I am from the west coast. I think talking to everyone is normal, not flirtatious but friendly. And I seriously didn’t believe I was trying to be flirtatious at all that night..even a little (with the bouncer? Like really?) Anyway he made me cry because I didn’t understand what I did wrong. He kept saying he was going to leave me which…flash back a few months before, this same problem happened with my ex who got mad that my ex bfs sent me text messages (even after I showed him the messages). So I panicked started to cry, kept thinking what the hell am I doing wrong and Mr. Cool stop and said…look its cause I love you….RED FLAG #1 The next month I was in his home town in Switzerland. I was in Paris for work that week and wanted to do a weekend trip, had never been to Switzerland but had always wanted to see it. It was incredible. The town was so quaint, the country so beautiful, it was out of a dream. He had connected me to one of his best friends who offered to take me out to some very Euro clubs. Kept asking what I did (as in drugs)to which I responded literally nothing. I just wanted to drink and have fun with one of Mr.Cool’s best friends. We ended staying out until 4:00 am. So I’m a female alone in a foreign city, not that it is a bad city but one of the friends of Mr.Cools friends offered to walk me back to my hotel. We got back to my hotel he said goodbye and I went up to sleep. I wanted to wake up early the next day to check out the sites and play tourist. I woke up to angry texts and phone calls from Mr. Cool who was mad I didn’t text him when I got home…In Switzerland while he was in NY…Mind you I am a 26 year old adult who’s traveled by herself on numerous occasions. I’m not used to checking in with my bf…he yelled at me told me I had ruined his reputation in Switzerland ect ect. I honestly don’t remember how he calmed down eventually but I believe he eventually did.RED FLAG #2 We went out on a date to a burger joint, skipped ahead of the entire line and sat down at a booth. The waiter someone gave us a little grief for doing this but gave us the Ok to stay. So I did what I’ve always done with my wait staff, strike up a convo (I used to be a waitress myself and really loved to talk to my tables.. therefore I assume all people like to talk to tables whoops). I complemented his glasses saying I really like his style, aske a few questions about the signatures on the bricks in the restaurant to see if they were in fact real (yes Dr.Dre had in fact eaten there) ect ect. Suddenly Mr.Cool just falls silent. Won’t respond to me at all. We sit and eat in silence. I wrote (as I literally do at every restaurant) thank you on the receipt with a ❤ heart. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??? Mr. Cool absolutely freaked out that I would ever act like that in front of him. He kept saying how would you feel if I told some girl like nice tits? (maybe not the equivalent of nice glasses?) But I responded, look I am not a jealous person. If you want to hit on girls and get there numbers then don’t be in a relationship but I wasn’t hitting on the waiter…at the burger joint…wearing glasses.RED FLAG #3 I have a really nice apartment in NY. I had recently transition jobs which required me to have a remote desk (working for a company in SF) so had to have a real normal sized room (gasp they exist in NY). Because of this nice apartment and my remote working, I had offered have Mr.Cool leave some stuff at my place every now and again. The reason being, he still had to live with his parents. (Visa problems/going to school and you can’t have an income it was his only solution, not a problem for me at all I really do support it). So the logical thing when you’re in a relationship would be to slowly transition into your gfs place. He left a toothbrush. After 9 months of us dating (6 months formal) that was all he would leave. He would go so far as to spend the night and go home at 7 in the morning because he got tired of bringing his stuff here. I offered time and time again to just keep 2-3 shirts 1 pair of pants and maybe a pair of shoes at my place (btw we live 10-15 min apart at most) and he refused. We’re 27 now…it seemed a bit bizarre. He also never ever wanted to shower with me. I mean each to his own but it really made me feel like he just wasn’t comfortable with me…that I wasn’t sexy enough for him.RED FLAG #4 Mr. Cool is always late…not 10-20-30 min late. 2-3 HOURS late. Every time I invited him out with my friends, he would show up 2-3 hours late, make an excuse that he had to walk the dog, or had to shower, or had to clean or had to blah blah blah. Everytime. In the 9 months (at this point) we had been together he had met my friends twice….He kept saying he hates going out and clubbing and partying. But just before me he was dating a model and did that with here nearly everynight. I understand being burned out…I do but twice is a really bad statistic.RED FLAG #5 When we were together I was always on my phone…It is a bad habit I picked up from dating my high school sweetheart long distance for 7ish years. It’s a problem I have. But when I was with him, he was constantly looking at sport scores, constantly reading articles constantly on Instagram constantly disconnected with me. I think I have a lot of fault in that too but it made it hard for me to break that habit.Ok so now we get into the part where I really fucked up. Yes people I fucked this relationship up, my man among men, I ruined it.I mentioned I had started a new job. I was a remote worker, very disconnected and isolated from social environments and getting worse since my bf never wanted to spend time with my friends and I only wanted to spend time with him. We had these great weeks called strategy weeks where my entire company would go out to SF and we would be in meetings for 12 hours and then dinners and drinks. The whole time my bf would call me and freak out if I didn’t text him when I was home…he kept saying “im just worried about you.” But it felt like he was being possessive and trying to control me. When I was out at work, I needed to focus on learning everything I could from my colleagues and learning what resources I had available should something come up that I don’t know the answer to. See I had moved from being a flood resiliency engineer to working in series reactor/ series capacitor technology…a field dominated by EE Phds. I am a civil engineer….I had a lot a lot a lot a lot to learn. So we would go out to dinners as a group. My colleagues and I. But one time…my colleague invited me to a solo dinner. He had invited other colleagues on solo dinners such as these. My boss who I was closest to in particular suggested I go out to dinner with this guy for traditional Lebanese food. Now I am a young 26 year old at this time, he is a 41 year old well established engineering colleague. I was an absolute naïve idiot to think that he would respect the boundaries of professionalism. So at this dinner I thought everything was good! We talked about my career as and as engineer and that he felt I should really pursue my PE ect ect. It seemed very non-threatening. Plus he was our project engineer so someone I needed to know his skillset to help me in the future as I’m helping progress our projects. He gave me some of his homemade Lebanese drink (kind of like greek ouzo) then I took a car home. Everything was professional and perfect and nothing seemed off.I got laid of January. I was working for a startup and these things happen. I got laid off in a slaughterhouse style where 15 of us were in a room…while the rest of our company was in the other room (of course all my crap happened to be in the nonslaughterhouse room). My 41 year old colleague had a car, I did not. He rescued my stuff, and grabbed me out of the crowd of sympathetic former colleagues. I have never felt so awful in my entire life. I have never felt so rejected and low and miserable in my entire life. He was a saving grace. He told me I have a lot of edible weed and wine. And that was literally all I wanted. Now I will tell you he did try to kiss me once. And I told him time and time again I had a bf and it was inappropriate. We were colleagues nothing more. But I made the STUPID MISTAKE to go with him. I called my bf from the car and he was sympathetic and sweet. I think all I wanted was for him to say come home come back to me I’ll help you, we’ll figure this out, its going to be ok. But he just said “I’m really sorry.” I proceeded to get absolutely blackedout that night. Woke up in a hotel with colleague and freaked out….I didn’t know what had happened I didn’t know how to deal with being laid off. I just wanted to go home.Flash forward to me driving home. My supportive bf tells me to not be too complacent in searching for jobs. I get home…and there’s a laptop on my doorstep. I’m thinking its from my bf, what a sweet and insanely kind thing to do….nope….it was from the 41 year old….then I get flowers…not from my bf but from the 41 year old. At this point I started to feel a bit threatened. I didn’t think this guy had malicious intent but I was wrong. I started seeing this weird doting pattern from him. Now I wanted to tell my bf about it but lets think back to all of the instances when literally nothing was going on and my bf freaked out…and nothing I said or did could assuage his anger. I started thinking this 41 year old…did something to me. He was sending me gifts. He was 100% prepared for when I got laid off…did he get me fired so he could have a shot? He kept saying you’re not engaged, you’re not married, a boyfriend basically means you’re single “girls use that as a defense in the bay all the time.” I mean are you f***ing kidding me? You pursue women who clearly don’t want your attention by justifying it’s just a defense. I don’t know what happened that night…but I started feeling like I was getting hush money. That he had gotten me fired, that he had something over me and he was trying to win me over my bf. I cheated on my bf. The man I loved more than I ever thought I could. I cheated on him with this 41 year old. I saw him when I went to the bay and I cheated on him.Now 41 year old starts to facebook friend request my sisters…and showed up to dinners I had in the bay with my little sister (UNINVITED). I felt so threatened and uncomfortable and I thought…He’s going to tell Mr. Cool I did something with him….he has photos of that night, the night I don’t remember and he’s going to destroy my relationship with him. So I slept with him...More than once. I don't know if it was because I was scared, because I wanted to, because I figured things are over with Mr. Cool, because it seemed right...I dont knowI wanted to tell Mr. Cool. I really did but I didn’t know how to explain or justify what had happened. I knew he would get angry...I just didn't know how muchSo Mr. Cool is graduating…and he gets a guerilla email from someone saying “Hope you’re having fun on you special day, did you know your “girl” has been seeing someone since December?” 41 year old….sent him that message.Now, Mr.Cool confronted me. We talked about everything I told him everything and he decide I needed to work to earn his trust back, that I needed to bend over backwards to be with him again.And I said ok. I signed myself up to go to a counselor (another one from the one I had been seeing since this event happened, new job, new insurance, new counselor). I have busied myself with new volunteer efforts, gone to the climbing gym made plans with gfs worked to be happy by myself with out relying on him to make me happy…worked on just being ok with what happened and trying everyday to earn his trust back. Being forward with him about conversations with other men. Telling him if something had changed from what I previously told him. He assumed I was constantly lying and I ACTUALLY WASNT.So its been a month. I have told him everyday where I’m going who I’m seeing what I’m doing and sometimes things change, we're in a fight so I tell him new facts after. For example, a guy friend of mine who he is insanely jealous of since he is an ex of mine from 5 years ago wasn't going to a wedding I'm attending but is now going to a wedding I'm attending. This all came to light while we were fighting...it wasn't my top priority to tell him. But I did tell him with in 3-4 days of me finding this out for myself.He has called me a whore, he has told me he is going to kill himself because of this break up, he told me I had to have sucked a guys dick off in order to get my new job, he has told all of his friends and family I cheated on him and has isolated me from everyone else. He has accused me of wanting to sleep with all of my guy friends. He got mad at me for deleting photos when I tried to break up with him for the 100 time because I can’t take it anymore. He accused me of deleting photos so I could sleep with whoever I wanted when I had to travel for work… Who actually does that and like photographic evidence stops men from hitting on someone???I am at my lowest low. I don’t know what to do. I went out last night with old friends from my undergrad, males and females and he got so mad at me….He was out with his friends who didn’t want me to come because of what I did to him… I need some advise. I love him…I want to work though this but I really need the guy to meet me like 10% of the way there and I will carry the other 90%. He’s absolutely allowed to be hurt and angry but at what point is it too much?! There have been so many problems in this relationship and I’ve stood by thinking its just a phase, eventually he’ll leave stuff here, eventually he’ll want to hang out with my friends, eventually he’ll prioritize me over walking his dog…these were problems long before the 41 year old happened.I MESSED UP…I KNOW I DID I CHEATED ON HIM. But how do I move forward in this if he’s not willing to work to forgive me? via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

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themoskabot · 8 years

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Tagged!

I was tagged by @kwamimusings and @powerdragonmoon

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!

Name: Moriah

Nicknames: I have way too many to remember right now, but the main one is Moskabot

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Height: idek anymore…..

Orientation: I guess

Ethnicity: White.

Favorite Fruit: Strawberries, if they’re from the farmers market (those are the best things everrrrr)

Favorite Season: Winter, but fall is a close second.

Favorite Book: The Hobbit, but like….i love so many books?

Favorite Flower: Umm….I don’t know, but my back yard is FILLED with a bunch of cherry and apple blossoms in the spring, and i love it so…..cherry and apple blossoms i guess? if those count

Favorite Scent: Petrichor

Favorite animals: Cats, hedgehogs….i like looking at dogs, but being around them freaks me out

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Cocoa: D) all of the above

Cat or Dog Person: Cat

Favorite Fictional Character: How the frick do you expect me to answer that…..

Dream Trip: Almost anywhere, i just really wanna travel

Blog Created: A little over 2 years ago

Number of Followers: 388

What I Post About: Eh, nothing specific. Whatever i want.

Do I get asks on a regular basis: Nah

Aesthetic: https://pear-cat.tumblr.com/ <everything on that blog

Hogwarts House: My siblings tell me I’m a Hufflepuff, so I’ll go with that

kwamimusings got tagged in two different things, and combined them into one. I couldnt decide which one to do, so heres the second one as well.

Rules: Write 92 rules about yourself, then tag 25 people.

LAST ___:

Drink: Water Phone Call: Idk, probably my dad Text message: My sister Song you listened to: First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes Time you cried: Last night, while listening to the new bright sessions episode

HAVE YOU EVER ____: Dated someone twice: Never dated Been cheated on: Never dated Kissed someone and then regretted it: Never kissed someone Lost someone special: Yeah Been depressed: Oh boy, yes Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never tasted alchohol

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: Green, Grayish-purple, anything pastel

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU _____: Made new friends: On tumblr, yes. But i have basically no social life outside of the internet. Fallen out of love: Never been in love

Laughed until you cried: Yeah, probably

Found out someone was talking about you: Umm…i dont think so Met someone who changed you: So many Found out who your true friends are: im confused…. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: No, tht would be weird

GENERAL: How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them Do you have any pets: My hedgehog, Toast Do you want to change your name: Nah im ok with what i got What did you do for your last birthday: Just a normal birthday dinner i think. i usually just have my family all together for dinner (never had a birthday party0 What time did you wake up: About 12pm i think? What were you doing at midnight last night: Animating

Name something you cannot wait for: Fancy art school When was the last time you saw your mother: I’m looking at her right now, she’s just across the room. What is something you wish you could change about your life: ….most of it What are you listening to right now: Bob’s Burgers is playing in a different tab Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yeah Something that is getting on your nerves: I dont have a place i can draw alone, comfortably Most visited website: Tumblr. Elementary: Homeschooled High school: Homeschooled College: [redacted] Hair color: Naturally like a brownish color, but it is currently blue Long or short hair: Quite long Do you have a crush on someone: on a real person? no, not that i am aware of. on a fictional character? yes, many. What do you like about yourself: I….umm…..i guess im a hard worker? im not terrible at singing, or drawing/painting either haha Piercings: Yep Blood type: type O (just kidding, i dont actually know, i just wanted to make a movie reference) Nickname: as previously mentioned, i have many, but the main one right now is Moskabot (or Moska…) Relationship status: Single Zodiac sign: Cancer Pronouns: She/Her Favorite TV show: i….i love so many….dont make me choose Tattoos: Not currently, but who knows what the future holds? Right or left hand: Right

FIRST ____: Surgery: Never had one Piercing: My ears Best friend: All of them Sport: I dont particularly like sports, but im pretty good at badminton. id also really love to do ice skating. (and after watching haikyuu, i kinda wanna try out volleyball….) Vacation: I dont believe ive ever been on one….. Pair of trainers: ??idk??

RIGHT NOW ___: Eating: just finished some tacos Drinking: water About to: either write or draw, we’ll see what i feel like Listening to: bob’s burgers Waiting for: My motivation to arrive Want: dessert, a hug, a roadtrip with friends…. Get married: im joke engaged, but i dont plan on getting married anytime soon Career: hopefully a concept artist for video games

WHICH IS BETTER ____: Hugs or kisses: Hugs Lips or eyes: Eyes Shorter or taller: idk Older or younger: idk Nice arms or nice stomach: idk Sensitive or loud: Sensitive Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: both, but it depends on the situation and who im with

HAVE YOU EVER ____: Kissed a stranger: Nope Drank hard liquor: nope Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yeah, those were the most panicky mornings of my life Turned someone down: never had anyone to turn down haha

Sex on first date: ….no

Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of? Had your own heart broken: probably Been arrested: Nope Cried when someone died: Yes. Fallen for a friend: nah, i dont think so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ____: Yourself: no not really Miracles: ummm, yeah Love at first sight: not really Santa Claus: Nope. Kiss on the first date: i wouldnt, but if someone else does, whatever Angels: Ye

OTHER ____: Current best friend’s name: [insert all my tumblr friends here] Eye color: Blue. Movie: i have always loved the lotr trilogy, they hold a very special place in my heart

oh boy ok umm i tag

@kaethemonster @because-katiedid @misskatiegirl @sia-draws @mirasumbra @vibesvaldez @firewolfi @dreamer-day @mayallthebaconburn @thequeenoftacotuesday @johnpeter-remember-thesnowman (if you were tagged and dont wanna do it, just ignore this)

ok i cant think of anyone else who hasnt already been tagged, so if you wanna do it, just say i tagged you

#tagged

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songsofhartbig-blog · 8 years

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all from the aesthetic ask list (:

BLESS YOUR SOUL I LOVE THESE QUESTIONS

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? - about an hour ago, accompanying myself on guitar! Toying with the idea of a cover album ;)

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? - This one is gonna be really sad but I would wanna know what song was playing when my best friend got into a car accident

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? - That’s a really tough one, honestly. Probably just making it to this point.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? - The first one that came to mind when I read this is one of my favorite ones with my best friend. We were at a house party back in May, quite drunk, having a good time. We were socializing with different people for a few minutes, and suddenly I hear her yelling for me, and when we find each other, all she does is hold up a box of the card game Uno and goes, “FUCKING PLAY UNO WITH ME!!” (Uno was like one of our things because we’re dumb). So, of course, I was like “HELL FUCKIN YEAH!!” Drunk Uno at a house party, and we got a pretty big game going, but people started losing interest so it ended up just being me and her playing for a few more minutes. So “the only ones at the house party playing Uno” became a joke and one of my favorite stories/memories :)

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? - I feel like I would, but I honestly couldn’t answer what I would change. This is one of those situations where it’d be difficult to choose until you’re truly in the situation.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? - Of course! I haven’t gotten as far as to really rank anything, but the top ones would probably be to travel to so many different states/countries, skydive (basic but true), and zipline!

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. - The first person that came to mind when I read this one is a certain someone. I won’t specifically say their relationship to me, but let’s just say we’re…close. Their soul radiates sunshine; constantly brightening people’s days, whether they intend to or not. It just comes natural. By far one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, this person does not have a mean bone in their body. They’re funny in such a unique way, and it works for them, and always has me cracking up. So supportive in everything - for example I was really drunk one night and I was texting this person and told them I was gonna sit down and write a movie, and their response? “Write that movie, I’ll help if you need me to!” Not only things like that, but has been helping me with big life decisions too. Their smile can light up the darkest night, their eyes are big and beautiful and anyone could stare into them for hours. Their hugs could melt a frozen heart. I’m so lucky to know them.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? - Definitely. I have a very loving family that have provided and still provide the best they can for me, while instilling good values and morals in me

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? - I don’t think it was very long ago, maybe like 3 weeks ago?

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. - The person I described in the pantone question. The description of them should be a good explanation as to why :)

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? - I’ve never done it before but who’s to say it won’t happen at some point

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? - Funny enough, it was with the person I described in the pantone question, it was on New Years Eve (I’m always up at 3 AM but no one else usually is to talk to), and I was in bed, VERY plastered, going through twitter, and the person texts me out of nowhere (different quotes are the multiple texts): “luuuvvv uuuu” “so much” “i hope you had a good night” “you honestly made mine” “happy new year❤️” and then for like half an hour we drunkenly continued talking about how much we love each other and how lucky we are to be in each other’s lives. It was quite cute.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? - That’s so much pressure. I honestly can’t even answer that.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? - BEAUTIFUL. RESPECT AND APPRECIATE BROWN EYES. FROM THE GOLDEN BROWNS TO THE DARK BROWNS.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. - “It’s not the end, I’ll see your face again” - a line from one of my favorite songs of all time, and a nice reminder that my best friend’s passing wasn’t the full end, and I’ll see her again someday.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? - U ok?

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? - I know I would start with buying a lot of records and clothes and travel a lot because I have low impulse control

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? - I definitely am. I think of it as like a blessing and a curse, sometimes. It’s good to be forgiving and let bygones be bygones but I’ve definitely been guilty of forgiving people who didn’t deserve my forgiveness.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. - It’s 2 AM so we’re gonna shorten this to like a few words: you’re gonna regret that.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? - punk definitely, even though I’m hardly even punk lol

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. - I love tattoos! I have two and definitely want more, and I really like them because they tell a story in at least a small way. Significant tattoos tell a story, and even ones that don’t necessarily have meanings have a story - the person likes that design enough to put it on their skin. Piercings I have no problem with. I don’t personally have any but who am I to judge people who have them? They’re expressing themselves.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? - Not at all, only foundation to cover up my blemishes and such. I don’t wear a lot of makeup bc I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m constantly running late already, so adding a makeup routine to that would just be…bad

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. - I’m gonna be 100% honest: One Direction really effected my life in some great ways. Not only do I love their music, and they’re some good lookin boys, but the common likeness to them is the reason I have some of the friends that I do, and the reason I’m very close to some of my best friends.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. - BE NICE TO PEOPLE, IT’S NOT THAT HARD.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. - I’ve been to Justin Bieber (I was 11), Warped Tour twice, We The Kings, All Time Low twice, One Direction twice, 5 Seconds of Summer twice, Ed Sheeran, Panic At The Disco, and Bo Burnham (Im counting that as a concert cause he does music). They all made me feel a lot of different things, but to keep it short and sweet since it’s late and Im answering every question; I remember feeling pure joy and euphoria during all of them.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? - Well, of course I would want a letter from my passed on best friend, saying everything she’d want to get off her chest. But if it has to be someone living, I don’t even know. There’s a lot of people in the world that I wanna hear a lot of things from.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? - I have a desk, and it’s pretty organized, only because the only things on it are a lamp, my laptop, wallet, car keys, alarm clock, bracelets, and glasses

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? - get in pajamas, wash my face, brush my teeth, slump out. Nothing very amazing lmao

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? - my questionable actions lol

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? - funny that this is a question because I’ve been debating doing something new. Probably just a tad bit lighter and shorter. Nothing crazy for now

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? - Again, so many people to choose from. Too many, and I’m tired (sorry I have a tendency to get boring)

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. - 1) my best friend back. Probably could’ve guessed that one. 2) happiness and success for everyone 3) the return of the original That’s So Raven

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. - honestly probably this past year. I was broke so I couldn’t buy a costume, but I was going to a Halloween party so I needed to throw one together. Borrowed one of my grandpa’s hawaiian shirts, threw on a baseball hat, wore socks and sandals, put a camera around my neck, and BAM. Tourist.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? - Somehow, at least that I can remember, I’m pretty good at not doing *very* terrible things when I’m drunk/high/both. Probably the worst was when cops were at a house party and we were all running, I saw half a bottle of Bacardi on the table I was running past so drunk me took it LMAO

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? - kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? - Probably only see one person, because there’s too much good music to be limited to one song. The person? I’ll get back to you on that one.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. - yes, but it was with someone that didn’t love me back. And as much as that hurt, it was kind of nice knowing I can feel emotions - like when I got butterflies when I saw them, or when I smiled so big because their name popped up on my phone.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? - The only reason I wouldn’t rock really really short hair is because I already hate how I look with my hair in a ponytail, so I can’t imagine how much I’d hate super short hair on myself. But other than that, hell yeah

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? - we actually don’t have a Starbucks where I am (closest one is like 30-45 minutes away in a different city), so I’m gonna give you my Dunkin Donuts order: caramel latte, hot when it’s cold out, iced when it’s warmer out. Would definitely trust my neighbor to order it for me because we go to Dunkin together all the time :)

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? - The people in it

Thank you, kind anon, for letting me ramble about myself for entirely too long! Very much appreciated, love you!! :)))

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