#okay now im going back to sleep bc i suddenly woke up with the urge to check twt and now i think im a prophet or smth

[baeshijima]

JINGLIU 1.4 DRIP ?!!2£2):)8:)2)&292

YES MY QUEEN 🧎‍♀️🙇‍♀️

[seita]

in-game | kenma kozume (m.)

pairing: kenma/reader genre: angst, fluff, smut wordcount: 𝟸𝟼𝟶𝟸 tags: established relationship, gamer!kenma cw: neglectful behavior, crying, hurt/comfort, cuddling, riding, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, squirting, overstimulation, praise kink, dom!kenma.

+ note: self indulgent bc im a hurt/comfort whore and i was going thru some KENMA FEELINGS when i wrote this.

˖˖ summary: kenma’s been awfully neglectful lately, preoccupied with his video games. you eventually get fed up and he has to comfort you and fix the hurt he caused you.

⇦  back to navigation.

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not repost or modify.

Your lovely boyfriend had been playing video games nonstop for days. It had gotten to the point that even your personal time together, curled up in bed before sleeping, had been infringed upon. Instead of him coming to bed with you to cuddle and talk, he was staying up and coming to bed after you fell asleep. You’d wake up to him already sitting in front of his computer or the TV resuming his gameplay when you woke up.

You got it was his job and he loved to play with every fiber of his being but you couldn’t help but feel...neglected. You tried to ignore the aching feeling in the pit of your chest when you greeted him good morning and only sometimes received a grunt in response. 

It was weighing heavily on you and you were saddened that he didn’t even notice your downed state. He also didn’t seem to miss your presence when you began to hide in different rooms away from him. 

It all came to a head one evening when you found yourself craving him. Craving like having his touch on your body, making you feel good and loved like you knew he did so well. Kenma didn’t have the biggest sex drive around and as a result it sort of caused your own to dim as well. But when either of you had the urge you usually had no problems going to the other to have it sorted. 

This time, however, you found yourself hesitating. 

There was no way he’d choose you over that video game right now.

So with a heavy heart you laid back in bed and slid your hand down your panties, shuddering when you felt your wet folds beneath your fingertips. 

You could hear Kenma’s video game through the thin walls of your shared apartment. It was distracting, knowing he was out there so close yet so far. It had been a long time since you had to get yourself off; you never needed to when you had the sweetest boyfriend ever living with you. 

After touching yourself for what felt like ages, you realized you were nowhere near orgasm and promptly gave up. The frustrations of being stuck horny mixed with your hurt over being neglected by your boyfriend finally bubbled over and you felt tears pricking at your eyes. You rolled over, stuffing your face into his pillow as you cried. It muffled your whimpers and wails, not that your boyfriend would notice anyway. 

Suddenly, you sat up and sniffled a bit. Something dawned on you as you sat there, listening to your boyfriend’s video game blast explosions through the walls. 

There was no reason for you to be made to feel like this. You had to step up and talk to him. Communication was always the most important thing in your relationship with Kenma. He was a quiet, introverted guy who kept 99% to himself. When you first started dating back in high school, you both made it completely clear that you needed to talk to  each other. 

Yet there you were, ignoring that rule you’d made with him. 

You crawled out of bed and wiped your eyes with the back of your hand as you stumbled out of the bedroom. 

Kenma was sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the wooden coffee table as he slouched back. His hair was in a messy bun, a bored expression on his face as he slammed his thumbs against the controller buttons. 

“Kenma,” you said, pausing in the doorway to the living room. 

He didn’t reply, making you huff and try again. You called his name louder, stepping into the room. Finally, he tore his eyes from the screen to cast a glance at you before immediately looking back to the screen. However, it only lasted a second before his head was jerking to look back at you with wide eyes. 

He sat up straighter, hitting pause on his game as he frowned up at you, “Have you been crying?”

You sigh and nod, stepping closer to him, fidgeting nervously with the hem of your shirt.

“Why?” he asked, the sincerity in his voice making your eyes tear up again.

Your bottom lip trembled as all the feelings you’ve been holding back flooded forth; “I just...really miss you lately, Kenma. You’ve been so...busy and I...just feel like you’ve forgotten me.”

His gaze softened as your words sunk in. He uttered your name, soft and sympathetic before reaching his hand out for you. You quickly slipped your fingers into his palm, letting him tug you into his lap. His arms wrapped around you, one hand cupping the back of your head as he pulled your face into his shoulder. You felt the tears you’d been holding back come forth as you heard him whisper soft apologies in your ear.

You didn’t say anything more, feeling yourself begin to doze, nestled in his lap as he rubbed his hand down your back. You sighed happily snuggling into him. The music to his game played in the background and you found yourself speaking; “you can play again.”

“A-Are you sure?” he asked, skeptical though he knew you were bound to doze off.

You nodded and closed your eyes, relaxing against him. You felt him shift as he grabbed the controller once more, settling back into the couch cushions before resuming his game. You quickly fell asleep to the feeling of the occasional kiss against your temple from him. 

When you woke up, it was from being gently jostled. Kenma quickly noticed you had awoken and he frowned, reaching over to tuck some hair behind your ear.

“Sorry…” he whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.

“It’s okay,” you reply, sitting up, “How long was I out?”

He shook his head, “Like an hour or so.”

You rolled over and got out of bed, making Kenma frown before you disappeared into the bathroom. He went back to the living room to resume his game, sitting on the couch with his controller in his lap. When you came back from going pee, you paused to take a look at him. 

His bun was loose, hair falling prettily around his face. He had changed into a loose t-shirt that was too big so it fell off his shoulder, revealing his collarbones and an expanse of unmarked, pale skin. He wore a pair of soft sweatpants that he owned several colors of; they were his favorites. 

He looked up at you when you came in, patting his lap before holding his hand out for you.

“You’re tired, why don’t you go to sleep?” he asked, thumbing beneath your eyes, which were still a bit red from crying earlier.

“Wanna be with you,” you whisper, leaning forward to rest your head against his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers resting his hand on your back before pressing a kiss to your head, “Take all the time you need.”

You smile, relishing in having his attention, even as you heard the game play on in the background. He occasionally pressed a kiss against you. 

Suddenly, the arousal you had been feeling came back to the forefront of your mind and you found yourself squirming in his lap. He grunted, brows coming together.

“Settle down, baby,” he mumbled, kissing your shoulder, eyes glued to the TV.

“Kenma…” you whimper, leaning back a bit, making sure to stay out of his way of the TV, “Can I…” he hummed, glancing at you for a second before looking back at the TV, “I really wanna ride you.”

He shuddered, nodding his head, “Go ahead, baby. Get me hard.”

You grin gleefully, and reach down to palm him, finding he’s already rapidly growing harder. Tugging at the elastic band of his sweats, he shifts a bit so you can pull his cock free, tucking the band beneath his balls. He sighs at the feeling of your hand wrapping around him to give his length a few squeezes. 

You pucker your lips and spit down on the head, using it to slick up his shaft to aid in your movements. Before long, hot puffs were coming from his lips and he was at full hardness. 

You sat up and yanked your panties down before tugging your shirt over your head. Completely, naked, Kenma sat back to admire your body with a low curse. 

Reaching beneath you, you gripped his cock to line him up at your entrance.

“Don’t hurt yourself, baby,” he whispered, glancing up at your through messy bangs, “Run and get the lube.”

“D-Don’t need it,” you whine, running the head between your folds. 

He hisses but hits pause, gripping your hip to stop you from sinking down with a pointed look, “Go get the lube, now.”

You pout but do as you’re told, crawling off his lap to rush to the bedroom. The bottle sits inside the bedside table on his side and you grab it quickly. 

When you return to the living room, he’s sitting as you left him, cock resting against his t-shirt, leaving a wet spot from where it steadily drools precum. 

“Here,” you grunt, crawling back into his lap, “I really don’t need it.”

“Why do you say that?” he asks, putting his controller down to take the bottle from your hands.

You watch, mouth open as he pours some into the palm of his hand. His hands were always so pretty; lithe fingers and prominent veins. He wraps his fist around his length and coats the smooth skin in the liquid. Using what was left on his fingers, he slides two fingers into your cunt. You grunt and grip his shoulders as he scissors his digits.

“You are wet,” he hummed, crooking his fingers to find your g-spot easily.

“T-Told you,” you pant, “I’ve been...wet for hours…”

“Why didn’t you just come and ask me?” he mumbled, frowning as he focuses on your fingers swallowing his fingers before he slowly adds a third.

“D-Didn’t think...oh, that you’d care,” you confess.

He shakes his head and pulls his fingers free, wiping them clean on his sweats before grabbing his controller.

“Don’t be stupid,” he mumbled, but you can hear the hurt in his voice at your words, “I’m always here, even if it doesn’t seem like I don’t because I’m being an ass.”

“Can I ride you now?” you ask, kissing your forehead.

“Take what you need, baby, I’m all yours,” his breathing stutters as you line him up with your entrance and begin sinking down, “That’s it...it’s all for you, make yourself feel good.”

You let out a slow breath as you sink down, taking his cock into your dripping walls. The stretch burns just a bit but it only feels pleasurable. Kenma sighs, biting his lip as his grip on the controller tightens as you squeeze him so perfectly. 

You do your best not to jostle him too much as you ride him, grinding against him so stimulate your clit. After being unable to cum earlier, you feel yourself getting closer to your first orgasm. Your movements stutter and you press your cheek to his shoulder, panting and whining as you work yourself over the edge.

“That’s it, use my cock, baby,” Kenma pants, throbbing within your spasming walls, “Cum for me.”

And you do. It’s a calm, slowly cresending orgasm that fades almost as quickly as it arrived. But still, it left you trembling in his lap. Taking a breather, you sit quietly with your eyes closed, his cock still buried inside you while you waited for the oversensitivity to pass. 

He let you, kissing your cheek and head as you came down, patiently waiting for you to do as you needed -- just as he promised. He was there for you right now, even though his eyes were on his game, his mind was concentrated on you and your sweet cunt wrapped around him. 

Before long, you were moving again, but this time you began bouncing. 

He groaned, leaning back as you expertly worked your hips so the tip prodded every sweet spot in your walls. You were dripping down his length, making a mess of his sweats but he truly couldn’t care less in that moment. He cursed under his breath, accidentally pressing a wrong button on his controller. 

“I’m cumming again!” you squeal, nails biting into his shoulders as you toss your head back and shudder, soaking his length in your cum. He hisses, hitting pause and tossing the controller to the other end of the couch. He grabs your hips and plants his feel on the floor, jackhammering his hips up while holding you stationary, “K-Kenma!”

“Cum again,” he groans, his own eyes rolling back. 

“F-Fuck!” you toss your arms around his shoulders and hug him tight as you cum again. Perhaps you never even came down from your second one. Regardless, you’re hurled into a third -- this one messier than before. 

You squirt, soaking his shirt and abdomen, “Good fucking girl, good girl.”

“Th-Thought you’d let me take what I need…” you pant, trembling as he moves your hips under his strong grip, working you through the aftershocks. 

He huffs out a laugh, head resting against the back of the couch, “Why let you take when I can give?”

You moan, head falling back when you ride him once more. Your body trembles in overstimulation but you just can’t get enough. He cups your breasts, pinching your nipples between his fingers as he stares up at you as if you were a goddess. Hell, to him, you were one. 

“I love you so much,” he confesses, gaze soft.

You meet his eyes and feel an overwhelming sense of love overcoming you. Leaning forward, you press your lips to his and pull him in for a deep, sweet kiss. 

He reciprocates naturally, cupping the back of your head.

“I love you more,” you reply, resting your forehead against his, “I love you more than anything, Kenma.”

“Shh, baby,” he coos, hearing the raw emotion bleeding into your voice, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

You whimper, burying your face in his neck as you resume riding him. He holds you close, caressing your skin and whispering words of encouragement as you crest once again. This time, you take him with you. 

He spills into you, a heavy groan in your ear as he pumps his hot load into your spasming cunt. You both relax, your body trembling as tears trickle down your cheeks and you sniffle. He pulls you back so he can look at your face. He cups your cheeks and presses a kiss to your nose.

“I’m sorry, _____,” he whispers sincerely, “I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t care about you.”

“It’s okay now,” you whimper, snuggling into him, neither of you caring about his cum dripping from you cunt. His cock is soft now, but still sheathed within you and you have no plans of separating.

He reaches over to grab his controller again, feeling you sag against him as you begin to doze off. His thumbs work over the buttons and he relishes in the feeling of having you close, wondering how he had missed it for so long without realizing. 

The sight of you crying because you felt neglected still rang in his mind and he made a mental promise to the two of you that he would never make that mistake again -- no matter how into his games he became. 

[m4rkiza]

pile of headcanons

bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r

theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"

Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other

Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that

leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "♥💖my bubu♥💕", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R

raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"

then leon changes rai's contact name too "🥰raihoney💖

leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)

sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him

yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it

raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"

raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend

raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no

raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"

but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc

so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way

raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind

raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon

raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake

Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer

Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them

leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats

leon : Kiss me or ill

raihan : u will what

leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine

raihan : no, now come here bubu

In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead

raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting

if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away

aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"

but all raihan do is just

raihan : bubu, no

leon : no..?

raihan : leon. no

leon : no...

then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation

leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result

the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan

for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone

league staff : mr rai-

raihan : is it leon

league staff : yes

raihan : im on my way

leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them

raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week

leon : ....yes..?

raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus

leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"

leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway

raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never

and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure

10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff

no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life

raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek

leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way

raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up

raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan

especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore

raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan

leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours

raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up

raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him

leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy

leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest

if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face

but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING

leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.

its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him

raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it

he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"

leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"

"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!

"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming

raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him

raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan

even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet

raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it

can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon

leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan

at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again

leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him

raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him

raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"

[books-and-dragons]

pegoryu (pre-established) post-interrogation hurt/comfort fic. has mentions of nightmares, trauma, and implied physical assault. unedited and for that i big apologise in advance

___________

okay!!! so this fic has been sitting in my drafts for months (lol what else is knew i know, shush i’m getting to the point) and i was supposed to post it on ao3 at the same time as i did a couple of others, however never got around to it bc it needed editing and im too lazy for that

likelihood is, i will edit and post to ao3 at some point, but it needs some BIG rennovations and i just can’t be arsed atm

so yeah, apologies for the shoddy writing in advance xoxo

but for now, i wanted to post it on here. today. as a sign of goodwill for the year to come. (ie. i own p5r, still havent played it, need to play it, and hope posting this will kick me into gear)

so, hope you enjoy!! and lmao if not it’ll just get buried as i start to revive this blog so,...win win?

In the first few nights since the interrogation, Ryuji stayed awake, listening to the fragile shudders of Akira’s breath in the night. So sensitive to every breath of air restricted by broken ribs, Ryuji hadn’t needed to look across the room, to gaze at the beaten figure on the bed, to know how his face was contorted in pain- unmasked in sleep.

He refused to so much as close his eyes until Akira’s breathing levelled out, still shuddering and restricted by pain, but deep enough to assure him that Akira was asleep. Only then, Ryuji allowed himself to rest.

Nobody else stayed the night. They lingered until the last train, crowded around the attic bedroom, gaze worriedly resting on Akira until the final second, where they’d leave with the accompanying chime of Leblanc’s door closing. But not Ryuji.

Ryuji, who had refused to leave Akira’s side since the moment he’d returned to their arms, beaten and drugged up, hardly coherent, but so relievingly and perfectly alive.

Akira hadn’t been alone since, Ryuji ensured that much. Torn over so much as going across the road for a bath, he couldn’t leave the other boy alone- something pulled at him to never let that happen, a pit of fear in the bottom of his stomach that pulled at his every nerve.

Maybe it had something to do with the nightmares, the visions of Akira lying broken on cold tile, at the mercilessly unrelenting hands of the police, the images of Akira lying dead, blood pooling from his head, the way the images seemed to haunt him even when awake- but there was no point reading into it. It wasn’t important, especially not now.

What mattered was that when he woke up, breath haggard and skin shining with sweat under the light of outdoor streetlamps, Akira never woke. Wasn’t even perturbed. 

Ryuji tried to be thankful for it, tried not to think about why Akira was suddenly such a deep sleeper. Ignored the puncture wounds on his neck, the bottle of painkillers by his bedside. Akira was resting, and that was enough.

Even if it didn’t make sense that, when morning rose, the dark circles under Akira’s eyes had grown. That he tried to muffle pained yawns behind bandaged hands, and begged for more coffee- even though Takemi had put him on a temporary ban.

Because Ryuji had seen him sleeping, watched the rise and fall of his chest as Ryuji reminded himself that Akira was alive and safe, it was the sight that lulled him back to sleep from a nightmare. So why did Akira always look so tired?

He tried not to let his growing concern show, there was already so much to be worried about, he didn’t want to add another. Especially not when it could be nothing but his own annoying thoughts.

It wasn’t until the next night, after a particularly painful and thorough visit from Takemi earlier that day, that Ryuji started to reconsider.

Blearily opening his eyes to the dark lighting of the attic, Ryuji didn’t need a clock to know it was well into the middle of the night, and that he’d been woken up from his sleep, again.

But it was weird. There was none of the usual constricting fear, the blind panic- he’d hardly even started seeing the figure of a beaten Akira surrounded by shadow, let alone begun imagining the worst. 

About to blame it on the lumpy and painful springs of the couch and try to fall back asleep, Ryuji caught it. Quiet, as if muffled by something, but just loud enough to penetrate through the silence in the attic and reach Ryuji: crying.

No. Not crying.

Sobbing.

Ice burning in his stomach, he carefully lifted the blanket and rose, wary of creaking springs and the sound of rustling fabric, towards the shaking figure on the bed.

His voice was barely above a whisper, carrying clearly and softly through the silence as he carefully extended an arm, not touching, only hovering, “Akira?”

The responding flinch broke Ryuji’s heart all the more, as a head rose from under the covers, bloodshot eyes wide and darting around the room in panic, hair wildly askew. 

Moving as slowly as he dared, Ryuji sat at the side of the bed, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s only me.”

As the mattress shifted under him, Akira froze. Muscles tight and unyielding, back as ramrod straight as his broken ribs would allow, the entire body braced for something Ryuji didn’t even want to think about. His gaze was distant, somewhere far away from Leblanc, from the blond sat right beside him.

It reminded Ryuji of his Ma, in the months after the divorce. Curled up together on the dingy bed, they’d cling to each other so tight even in sleep, waking up in the morning sweaty and sometimes a little uncomfortable, never minding because they woke feeling completely safe. But there were the nights when his Ma’s screams would wake him in the early hours, recoiling and shaking even in her sleep. Ryuji would sit upright and watch over her until sunrise, would try to pull her from the memories he knew haunted her. Haunted them both.

Looking at Akira, the striking familiarity of the situation made him want to hurl.

He didn’t move, no matter how strong the urge was to reach out and console his hurting best friend. Instead, he kept his voice quiet, just audible above the laboured sobs, and waited.

“You’re okay, Akira. You’re safe, I’m not goin’ anywhere, alright? You’ve got me, it’s okay-”

Slowly, the frantic scanning of the room stopped. Staring at the artificial yellow light that bathed Leblanc’s street, following it into the shadows of the attic, where dark figures seemed to fade away. The flash of blond in his vision, perfectly still, aside from the hushed mutterings leaving chapped lips.

Akira focused on that sound. It felt safe.

As Ryuji uttered soft words of reassurance, he watched the tension slowly leave Akira’s body. Shoulders slightly slouched, jaw unclenched, his lip was bleeding- but he could worry about that later. All that mattered was the softening of Akira’s lines, as he slowly came back to Ryuji.

Delicately as he dared, he reached out. Hand brushing against bruised skin, careful not to as much as press on the marred areas. For a moment, there was no response. He waited, watching the panic continue to leave until, slightly trembling, Akira’s hand interlaced with his own.

“Ryuji?” The hazed look in his eyes was clearing, staring at Ryuji with a newly discovered relief, which was quickly overtaken by shame, “Shit- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, just go back to sleep I’m fine-”

“Hey no, no man it’s okay, really-” Feeling Akira begin to pull away, Ryuji let his thumb run over the back of his hand, determinedly meeting Akira’s gaze, “I don’t mind.”

Akira opened his mouth, ready to retort and insist, but found himself silenced by the look in the other boy’s eyes. Ryuji’s hand was warm, and for a moment Akira forgot there were even any injuries there at all, thumb tracing over them with such a delicate touch he hadn’t known the blond to have possessed.

Staring into Ryuji’s eyes, he wondered at how they were always so open and unguarded, never with anything to hide- a true reflection of his best friend, passionate and honest to a fault. It was something Akira had often envied, that ability to always be his true self, to freely display his emotions. 

He almost took that back now, staring back into deep brown eyes. Eyes which so clearly reflected hurt and worry.

The raw concern so honestly displayed to him that, just in this moment, Akira decided he would allow himself to be vulnerable. Just this one time. Knowing that, as they had done for each other so many times before, Ryuji would never judge.

Hesitantly, Akira pulled his hand out of Ryuji’s and, ignoring the concerned look he got in return, allowed his hand to trace higher, around his forearm, pulling him closer with a silent plea.

As always, Ryuji understood.

Carefully reaching out, Ryuji wrapped his arms around Akira, pulling him to his chest. His touch is firm, but cautious of the bruising and bandages decorating Akira’s abdomen. Even then, careful as he was, the occasional shift sent twinges of pain up Akira’s spine. And yet, he found he didn’t mind- not when he was so surrounded by warmth and comfort and the steady beat of Ryuji’s heart just audible through his chest, that for a minute Akira feels like he can just forget-

Somehow, Ryuji shifts so they’re leaning against the back wall, Akira’s head resting high on Ryuji’s chest, ear pressed to his left side. Logically, Ryuji supposed now would be a good time to ask about what just happened, about the dark circles under Akira’s eyes and the fear still lingering when he caught sight of shadows in the room- but there would be other opportunities. When Akira wasn’t so damn exhausted and clinging to Ryuji like he’s the final lifeline holding Akira together. When neither of them would be waking up in the middle of the night, a frenzied mess, and worrying about suspicious strangers in public and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Yeah, there would be other times to talk. But for now, Ryuji would stay with Akira and listen as his breathing mellowed out into deep breaths, as his grip on the blond weakened and he cuddled closer still, lost to the throes of sleep.

Ryuji will stay with him until the sun rises.

Neither of them were plagued by nightmares for the rest of the night.