#omeliafanfiction omeliafanfic

[omeliaendgame]

Disturbances

Heyy Omelia-Fans :-) Here is the requested Fic about Amelia being airsick. I hope you all like it!

“Good morning! Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard United airlines, flight 479 to Chiacago...”, the Stewardess welcomed the passengers. Meredith, who sat  next to Amelia took a deep breath. “Are you okay?”, Amelia asked her, since she knew about what happend to Meredith years ago. Meredith nodded. Meanwhile Owen, who sat on the other side of Amelia put away his phone and fastened his seatbelt. He took one look on Amelia´s and Meredith´s lap, as if he wanted to check their seatbelts too. He seemed to be satisfied and Amelia chuckled. “Do you know what´s great?”, Amelia asked him and leaned towards him. “What?”, he raised his one eyebrow. “When we arrive, we have the rest of the day to do whatever we want to do.”, she grinned. “Uh-huh, and what would that be?”, he asked with a premonition. Amelia tilted her head, as if she had to think about his question. Then he leaned towards him and whispered: “Let´s check out these hotel beds.” Owen smirked. “I heard they are particularly good for...” he whispered back but didn´t end the sentence. And he didn´t need to. These external missions were also known as “flirt-holidays” at the GSM. Just that until now, Owen and Amelia weren´t requested for the same case. But this time a complicated and rare case waited for them and Tom, Hayes, Jackson, Teddy and Jo, who sat in the rows before them.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, We are now crossing a zone of turbulence. Please return to your seats and keep your seatbelts fastened. Thank you.”, the stewardess announced after one hour. And only some minutes later the airplane began jolting a little. Meredith looked outside nervously and Amelia put her hand on her shoulder. But although it was just a slight turbulence, suddenly she felt a wave of nausea hit her. And the occasional bucking of the airplane didn´t make it any better, so she leaned back and closed her eyes. She pressed her hand on her stomach in the hope to make the sickness go away, but it didn´t help either. “Hey, what´s wrong.”, Meredith asked when she noticed Amelia´s position. Also Owen had recognized something was wrong. “I feel sick.”, Amelia answered without moving. “Do you want some water?”, Owen asked and didn´t wait for her answer. He grabbed a bottle out of his bag and handed it to her. Amelia took it thankfully. “Better?”, Meredith asked. Amelia sighed. “Not really...I think I´m gonna have to throw up.”, she said as the sickness in her stomach got worse. “Just don´t vomit all over me.”, Owen said and gave her one of the bags out of the seat pocket. “Very sympathetic.”, Meredith commented ironically and stroked Amelia´s arm, when she began to throw up. “Okay?”, Meredith asked, when she stopped, “Do you want me to get you something? Water?” Amelia shook her head. “Don´t you feel any better?”, she asked compassionately. Amelia shook her head again. “You could help, too, Owen.”; Meredtih said then and gave him a look. “What could I do?”, Owen replied. Meredith rolled her eyes. “Like, your wife is feeling really bad and you sit there and don´t even say something.” Then Meredith turned her attention to Amelia, who was emptying her stomach again. “Oh Amelia...What can I do?”, she asked but didn´t get an answer. Amelia instead leaned forwards and rested her forehead on Jackson´s seat before her. Meredith stroked her back and looked at Owen again, who didn´t know what to do. “You could try to sleep a little. And dream of a husband, who is a little more comforting.”, she said to Amelia. “That´s not fair. Aren´t you a little bit overprotective?”, Owen asked Meredith. “I don´t blame you, Owen. It´s just funny how insensitive men can be.”, Meredith replied, amused by his attemption to defend himself. “Stop it.”, Amelia groaned, as she took the bag again. But she could just dry-heave, because her stomach was already empty. Meredith didn´t know, what else she could try to help Amelia, but there wasn´t much they could do in the airplane. Amelia just wanted the sickness to go away. The dry-heaving made her stomach hurt a lot and her eyes watering. “I could ask for a soda water.”, Meredith proposed, “Or maybe they have something against nausea on board.” Amelia shook her head. She wanted Meredith to stop talking for a moment. She  really appreciated that her sister wanted to make her feel better, but she really hated to be pitied and Meredith exxagerated a little bit with that. But also Owen felt really bad for his wife now, because he could see how pained Amelia seemed to be. That couldn´t go on for the next 3 hours. He put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her back slightly. She laid down her head on his shoulder. “My stomach hurts.” she moaned. Owen laid his hand on her belly and stroked it gently. And just the feeling of his warm hand, made it a little better, so Amelia could relax for a moment. She was so exhausted after vomiting continuously. “Could you give me the water?”, she asked Meredith then. “Of course.”, she answered and handed her the bottle. She was glad that Amelia seemed to feel better. Now they just had to survive the next few hours in the airplane. And as Amelia, she was looking forward to try out these hotel beds. But definitely just for sleeping. 

[jordan202]

My Boys Drabbles: Just a Feeling (Part 3)

Hey guys, like promised here goes part three. Owen is finally face to face to with ex again. Sorry about taking so long to post it! 

Previous chapters are HERE.

My Boys Drabbles – Just a Feeling (Part Three)

“Beth. It’s really you.”

Owen took his time recovering from the shock of unexpectedly bumping into his ex-fiancé. Seeing her after all those years was already surprising enough, but to find out she now taught his youngest sons felt like his past had decided to suddenly play all kinds of tricky games with him.

Beth stood up with a dignified expression on her face that seemed much more neutral and contained than Owen could ever associate with her. And somewhere in between processing all those thoughts and impressions, his mind also registered that while he felt absolutely stunned to be facing her, the teacher on the other hand didn’t seem really that surprised to casually run into him after over a decade of not seeing each other.

When met by nothing other than a quick inspection, Owen felt compelled to break the uncomfortable silence. In the past, he’d usually had a hard time getting Beth to stop talking and not the other way around.

“I... I had no idea you were a teacher here,” he confessed looking into her eyes and trying to understand what her distant expression meant. From what he could remember, Beth had always been receptive and kind whenever they saw each other after months apart and even though everything was different now, her silence was still strange.

Owen couldn’t quite expect her to smile and excitedly greet him now, but her total lack of reaction confused him. He knew years had passed and people grew and changed, but the image he’d carried of Beth during all that time had been the one of an idealistic, excited, naive young woman who was perhaps too optimistic and too much of a dreamer for her own good. Nonetheless, despite her lack of maturity, Beth had always had a good, decent heart. So it felt odd for him to face her right now and be met with an indifferent expression rather than a smile.

“I worked in Medina Elementary. It wasn’t until very recently that I took a position here,” she explained with a more polite approach.

“That’s good,” Owen swallowed hard, unsure of what else to say. He’d never really imagined what it would be like seeing her after so many years but if he had, his mind probably would have come up with something a lot different from what he was experiencing. “I hope you like the new job.”

“I do,” Beth said matter-of-factly.

“This is a great school,” Owen added, hoping the awkwardness of their interaction wouldn’t last very long.

“Yes, it is.”

The surgeon nodded, suddenly met by the uncomfortable silence again.

“It might be just an impression, but...” his voice trailed off as he looked for the best way to phrase what was conflicting him. “I kind of have the feeling that I am completely surprised to see you but you don’t look at all that surprised to see me.”

Beth gently furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at the twins standing next to them and then back at Owen.

“The first thing I got when I arrived at school was a list with all my students,” she looked at the man standing in front of her with a dumbstruck expression, as if what he was saying made no sense. “Hunt is not a rare name but it isn’t all that common either. And really, Owen? Just look at them,” Beth added, slightly shaking her head from side to side as if she couldn’t believe he was doubting that, “did you really think I wouldn’t recognize your sons the minute I first laid eyes on them?”

Owen opened up his mouth to refute her, but after realizing Beth was right, he decided not to say anything. Of all his children, Danny and Robbie were by far the ones who resembled him the most, not only in facial features but also in physical structure and maybe even in the way they spoke.

“Yeah, I guess you have a point.”

“Ms. Whitman, do you know my Dad?” Robbie interrupted their conversation, just as curious as his twin brother about the interaction between both adults.

“As a matter of fact, I do, Robbie,” Beth turned her head to face the child and her expression softened immediately, going from neutral to warm and receptive. “We met a long time ago, before you were even born.”

“Really?” Danny’s eyes widened with curiosity as he entered the conversation.

“Yes, but today your Dad is here for our meeting and he wants to hear about the two of you,” the teacher sneakily changed the focus of the conversation, knowing that as the normal six-year-olds Danny and Robbie were, they would definitely want to talk about themselves if offered a chance. “Is their mother joining us or can we start?” she asked with her best professional tone as she turned her head from the boys to their father.

“Uh, she can’t make it,” Owen replied, still disconcerted by the way Beth’s expressions would quickly change depending on whether she was talking to the kids or facing him. “She is stuck at work, so...”

“It’s alright,” Beth assured him with practicality. “I just want to update you on Danny’s and Robbie’s progress over the last trimester. We’ve had a remarkable...”

As his ex-fiancé and current sons’ teacher went on to give him a full report on how the twins were adapting to the transition from kindergarten to first grade, a much more impartial topic, Owen slowly made himself more at ease. Since he’d been caught so off guard, it had been hard at first to process anything out of that surprising encounter.

It was true that in the past he and Beth hadn’t had the easiest breakup. In fact, now he thought about it, the trauma surgeon became well aware that he’d probably been a real jerk to her at the time they had parted ways.

Not only had he taken too long to let Beth know he didn’t reciprocate her feelings and wishes, Owen had also failed to inform her he’d been back from a war zone once he made it to Seattle, even though deep down he knew she was deeply worried about him, to the point of praying for his well-being every night. Owen knew that the reason why he’d done it was because back then, he’d been caught up with a lot more than he could handle, including a serious mental condition. It had been easier to simply sweep his dirt under the rug and pretend he could start over with a clean slate rather than having to deal with what had actually happened to him.

Life had put Cristina Yang on his way and coincidence or not, she was exactly what he wanted but didn’t need in a woman at the time. Unlike Beth, Cristina was very comfortable with not knowing details and not asking any questions. And his unwillingness to face what happened to him in Iraq had been one of the reasons Owen had avoided Beth upon his return.

Even though he knew he wasn’t in love with her anymore, after their breakup Owen was pretty sure that she would have done everything within her power to try and help him if she so much as thought he was that damaged from the war. She would probably want to salvage their relationship too. The only problem at the time was that Owen wasn’t open to receiving that kind of help.

Or perhaps deep down he had a feeling that Beth was never meant to be the one with whom he could share his pain and trust his heart. Owen supposed that was true because now that he was older, had lived through things and knew better, he was sure that back then he couldn’t have connected to anyone else in the way he connected to his wife now, regardless of what he’d lived or been through at the time. It wasn’t so much about the experiences but rather how comfortable he felt to share with a particular person or not.

As Owen’s mind drifted back and forth in thoughts about the past and present, Beth’s voice broke the silence.

“So... we are done here, I guess,” she wrapped the conversation with a smile, playfully giving Danny an affectionate squeeze on his belly that made the boy chuckle and look at her with adoration in his eyes. “Can you boys please go pick up your backpacks and get the crayons you used back in the proper box? We want to keep the room tidy for tomorrow.”

“Yes, Ms. Whitman,” Robbie and Danny replied in unison.

Owen waited until the kids were out of their hearing range after noticing how Beth remained still, watching from a distance as his sons strictly followed her instructions.

“So...” Owen put both his hands in his pant pockets, drawing her attention with his voice. “You’re still excellent with kids, I see,” he commented awkwardly, unsure of how she would react at his attempt at small talk. Even though it had been years, Owen still felt awful about the way he had treated her, mostly because he had never really apologized for it. “Not that it surprises me, of course,” Owen added. “How many do you have now? Five, six?” he asked with a lighthearted tone, knowing that just like him, Beth had always wanted a big family.

Owen could swear he identified a trace of sadness in her gaze as she turned her head at him to reply.

“Eighteen,” she shrugged, apparently trying to look like she was okay with the joke but Owen knew her well enough to see that the question – and mostly the answer – bothered her.

The trauma surgeon quickly understood that eighteen was the number of children in his sons’ first grade class. And if Beth had given that as a reply, apparently regarding her beloved students as her children, it could only mean she didn’t have any kids of her own.

The realization took Owen by surprise but he didn’t have the courage to ask why she had changed her plans – or maybe why they had failed to happen? It was probably not his place to ask, anyway.

“Danny and Robbie talk about their siblings all the time,” Beth commented as she crouched down to pick up a pencil from the floor, making Owen wonder how she’d even spotted the object underneath a student’s desk in the first place. “Just yesterday they were talking about how you were flying kites with them over the weekend… They are obviously happy kids,” Beth gazed at the boys from a distance with a lingering smile. Owen saw the contrast between that and the shadow of sadness he could swear she was trying hard to conceal. “You got the whole package, didn’t you?” the teacher asked as she got up with the pencil in hand at the same time a gloomy shadow darkened her usually lively eyes. “Not that I am surprised, it is what you always wanted, I guess… What we both did.”

“Beth...”

“No, Owen, don’t,” Beth interrupted him before the surgeon could even start. She could precisely predict what he was about to do, and after taking years to recover from their unilateral decision to end their engagement, she wasn’t interested in hearing what he had to say anymore.

“I know we have both moved on and it probably doesn’t matter anymore… What’s in the past is in the past,” Owen repeated the sentence he seemed to be telling himself quite a lot lately. “But I’d just like to apologize for the way things ended between us,” he added the most considerately and kindly he could.

A daunting silence followed and Owen noticed as the face of the woman standing in front of him went through many transformations.

First she seemed surprised. Then confused. And finally, really angry.

“That’s it?” Beth scoffed, suddenly neglecting every progress she’d made in her journey to be resolved about her past. For a long time, she had tried every method possible for moving on: therapy, sports, yoga. Many years before she had finally convinced herself that she was over the heartbreak and if faced with Owen once again in her life, she would be able to simply ignore him because he couldn’t affect her anymore. Well, how wrong had she been, apparently. “You break up with me through an email, come back from the war and don’t say anything, then you get a job, start a relationship with someone else… And as if that’s not enough, you tell me to my face that my dad has cancer and walk away…” Beth summoned up the events from her perspective. “Years later that’s what I get?” for the first time that day, Owen could see a reaction on her face that seemed spontaneous instead of rehearsed whenever she looked at him. “A simple, generic apology? Are you actually serious?”

“Beth...” Owen took a long breath, suddenly regretting having gone there. He should have kept his mouth shut but something about his uncontrollable urge to come to terms with the people he’d let down had prompted him to say it.

“No,” she backed out raising her voice, for a moment forgetting they were inside a classroom and that she was at her workplace, in the company of two of her students. “Do you have any idea the pain you put me through that day?” the trauma surgeon didn’t have to ask her to know she was talking about the last time they’d seen each other. “You made me lose my ground, Owen,” her voice broke down a little as Beth struggled to contain her tears. “My ground!” she insisted, thinking back about how at the same time she had lost the man she had considered to be the love of her life and her father, the only parent she had. “I didn’t get a chance to take care of my dad because he didn’t tell me about it and I couldn’t take care of you either because you walked away. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to lose the two of you in the same month?”

“I...” Owen struggled with his words. It was the first time he was being confronted with that part of his past and when she put it like that, he couldn’t help feeling guiltier. “I was going through some stuff at the time and I didn’t realize what I was doing. I am sorry,” Owen replied in a lower tone, trying to keep their voices down not to draw attention from the boys who were already frowning as they collected crayons across the room and noticed how worked up their teacher seemed to be. “I get it if you can’t understand it and I respect it,” Owen said with honesty, feeling even worse for how he’d failed her. “I know it must be really painful for you to come here and have to teach my children after everything I put you through, so I also want you to know that I really appreciate how good you are with them...” the surgeon said, once again taking a peek at the boys. “And how much of a bigger person you are not to let our past interfere in the way you treat them.”

The teacher took a deep breath and closed her eyes, taking her time to open them again. It became obvious she was struggling to keep herself together and Owen censored himself for bringing up the subject.

“Owen...” Beth’s voice sounded hoarse as she tilted her head and looked at him, looking almost offended. “Danny and Robbie are wonderful kids and they have nothing to do with what happened between us,” she enforced, looking at them as she swallowed hard. Those boys and their stunning resemblance with the man she had built her dreams with once were a daily reminder of her failed past and everything Beth had set to accomplish but never did. “As you said, what’s in the past is in the past. Let’s just leave it there.”

“I really didn’t mean to make your life such a nightmare...” Owen said with a guilty conscience. At the time, it hadn’t been so obvious because he had been too caught up with his own traumas. But now, it made him feel extremely remorseful to realize that not only he’d broken Beth’s heart by leaving her, but he’d also done it around the same time he’d given her the worst news of her life after bluntly letting her know her father had cancer. At the time, Owen had grown sick of everyone hiding everything from her and he’d thought that she would be better off with the truth, no matter how hard it was.

So he’d disclosed to his ex-fiancé in the hospital waiting area that unbeknownst to her, her father had been battling cancer for a while now. And then Owen had walked out to never see Beth again until today.

By the time the older man had died, Beth had lost not one, but the two most important people in her life: her father and her fiancé.

The teacher was just about to once again suggest they dropped the subject when the twins finally came from across the room carrying their backpacks, silencing the adults’ apologies and once for all putting an end to that unexpectedly raw conversation.  

.

On the short drive home, even though they had stopped to pick up the other kids, Owen was worried he might have to deal with a series of questions from the twins as to how he knew their teacher, but to his luck, they were too distracted with their siblings to bring up the subject.

But hours later though, by the time his wife got home, Danny didn’t waste any time sharing with his mother the news he’d learned earlier that day.

“How was everything with the school meeting?” Amelia asked at the same time she dropped her handbag on the counter, took off her jacket and approached the kids, giving them each a kiss on the head. “Did you meet the popular Ms. Whitman?” she asked with good mood as she looked up to meet her husband’s eyes.

Before Owen could reply, Danny intervened.

“She and Dad already knew each other, Mom,” the boy repeated what he’d learned earlier that day with a proud smile to be breaking the news, succeeding in getting his mother’s attention. “Ms. Whitman said she knew my dad from before I was even born!” he added with widened eyes, as if his father having a life prior to his birth was already shocking enough.

Amelia took in the information and looked back at her husband, using a confused expression rather than words to ask him to elaborate Danny’s revelation.

“I was going to tell you but Dan obviously beat me to it,” Owen said with a playful eye roll, knowing he really meant it. “I was surprised to find out like this, but it turns out the twins’ substitute teacher is Beth,” he unconsciously raised his eyebrows, expecting her response apprehensively as he whispered in addition, “as in, Beth Whitman. The woman I was engaged to before moving back here for good.”

As anticipated, Amelia was also taken by surprise with the information.

“Your ex-fiancé is their teacher?” she asked, thinking about the woman she’d heard about only a few times but never really met. Amelia looked at her husband almost apologetically, thinking about the couple of occasions in which she’d joked about the teacher’s manners and she talked like one of her students. “Is it the one you were going to marry when you were serving in Iraq?” she asked whispering back, unwilling to be heard from the kids considering she had no idea how much they had indeed been told.

“That one,” Owen replied tensely as he watched the twins go back to the toys they had been playing with prior to their mother’s arrival.

Over the years, Owen had shared so many of the most intimate things about his life and his past with his wife that he liked to think there wasn’t anything they couldn’t talk about. Surely some things were more difficult to discuss than others, and some topics Owen would much rather avoid if it could be helped, for various reasons.

It so happened that he wasn’t the least bit proud of the way he’d treated Beth in the past and talking about her only made Owen feel exposed in the worst way possible to perhaps the only person whose good opinion of him really mattered. So it was probably for the best not to dwell on that subject.  

“Are you okay?” Amelia asked, mistaking his reservation for discomfort. Owen had been acting a little quieter than usual lately and she was starting to wonder if something was indeed off with him.  “Did something happen?”

“No, it was just weird, that’s all,” Owen shook his head in denial, unwilling to stay trapped in his thoughts. “It’s past eight thirty already, I’ll get the kids upstairs to start their bedtime,” he proposed, crossing the distance between himself and his wife and giving her a kiss on the forehead. He’d already had dinner with the kids but had been waiting with them so that they could see Amelia for a while before going to sleep since she was working late that day. “There is a plate for you in the oven if you’re hungry.”

“I am starved,” Amelia confessed, already making her way to the kitchen. “I will catch up with you guys soon.”

The neurosurgeon had dinner and a shower at the same time Owen got the kids ready to bed. She then tucked Megan in, which didn’t take five minutes, and later spent nearly half an hour with Thomas lying on his bed as they read together until he finally fell asleep.

After giving the boy a kiss goodnight, Amelia proceeded to Lucas’ room. She made him promise he would turn off the TV after the anime he was watching was over and also got a hug and a kiss before finally turning off the lights in that bedroom.

That only left the twins’ room to go check and Amelia expected to find both boys already asleep. Nonetheless, she would go in to give them the kiss goodnight she always gave all her children.

To her surprise, she found out the bedside lamp was on and Owen was sitting between the children’s beds on a tiny stool that made him look even bigger than he already was. Even though he had his back turned to her, Amelia could tell he was reading the boys a bedtime story and she couldn’t help but stand against the doorframe and watch the scene from a distance with a smile on her face.

“Dad,” Danny’s voice echoed in the room as he contained a yawn right when his father finished reading a chapter of the story. “Did you misbehave?” he asked very seriously, but at the same time Owen noticed his son was looking at him with an empathetic, forgiving glance.

“Did I what?” Owen tilted his head to the side as he gently spoke back, confused by what Danny really meant.

“He meant when Ms. Whitman was your teacher,” Robbie offered some explanation to what was going on in the twins’ minds. “Were you in timeout a lot?”

Amelia had to contain a chuckle from where she was standing.

“No, buddy, that’s not what happened,” Owen calmly explained, smiling at the boys’ logic. “She is not old enough to have been my teacher. I knew her from before because she used to be my friend.”

Since Danny had asked if he’d misbehaved, it didn’t go unnoticed to Owen that the boys had assumed their teacher for some reason disapproved of their father. The additional question about him being sent to timeout corroborated that. They had probably picked up the animosity in the air, despite the adults’ effort to tone it down as much as they could. It made sense that the six year olds had related Beth’s attitude with misbehavior, the likely most common cause for the kids in their class to get frowned upon by their teacher.

Well, they weren’t totally in the wrong, Owen had to admit. Except that his past with Beth was more complicated than talking during class or forgetting to hand in his homework. It was true that he was going through the worst moment of his life at the time everything had happened but it didn’t make Owen feel any less awful for realizing now the pain she’d had to endure, something that at the time he couldn’t see very clearly exactly because of his own traumas.

“She’s not your friend anymore?” Danny asked with confusion and a glimpse of disappointment.

“I haven’t seen her in a long time,” Owen replied evasively. The details were too difficult to try to explain to two kids. “But what makes you think Dad might have misbehaved?” he asked Danny with a patient smile, leaning over to pull the covers on his son.

Owen noticed how the twins looked at each other, as if communicating in their own secret language before Robbie opened his mouth to answer the question that had been directed at his brother.

“Ms. Whitman seemed upset,” Robbie confessed, confirming Owen’s theory. “It was like…” the six-year-old hesitated, unsure of how to phrase what he wanted to say. “It was like Amanda when I told her that I can take care of Casper much better than she can,” the boy explained, referring to their class’s goldfish. “She can’t even reach the bottom of his tank, Dad,” he added, as if the argument absolutely proved his point.

“And Amanda was upset about what you said?” Owen raised his eyebrows with amusement, correctly supposing their sons were talking about a fellow first grader.

“She was! She didn’t want the strawberries mom put in my lunch box even though I said I would share them with her!” Robbie confided with outrage at what he apparently considered a big offense.

“I see,” Owen smiled at the dynamics of two six-year-olds innocently trying to socialize. “Maybe she just doesn’t like strawberries. How about you offer her some other kind of fruit next time?” he proposed with a playful smile. “Or even better, when grandma bakes a batch of chocolate brownies, maybe you can pack a big slice and take it to school for Amanda?”

“That’s a perfect idea, dad,” Robbie cheerfully agreed. “I bet she is going to love it!” he said with confidence. Everyone loved his grandma’s brownies.

“Maybe you can take some to Ms. Whitman too, Dad!” Danny promptly intervened, sharing his brother’s impression. “Maybe then she will like you again!”

Owen frowned, pensively. Apparently, he had reached the perfect conclusion by assuming the boys had picked up on some animosity in the air and figured that their teacher wasn’t all too pleased with their father.

“Ms. Whitman and I didn’t have a fight, Dan,” Owen said assuredly even though it wasn’t entirely true. “The only thing is that I hadn’t seen Ms. Whitman in many, many years,” he explained as he closed the book and placed it on the nightstand next to the lamp. “But it doesn’t change the fact she was a wonderful friend, and I know she is a wonderful teacher so I am glad you guys have her this year,” the surgeon added with a smile, knowing that his approval would mean a lot to the boys. Danny and Robbie liked the teacher very much and to have them so much as think their father might see her differently could conflict their heads. Owen was determined not to let that happen because his kids had nothing to do with his past and shouldn’t pay the price for his mistakes. “It’s late now, close your eyes, buddy,” he said, ruffling Robbie’s hair affectionately before pulling the covers to tighten them around his body.

Amelia chose that moment to make her presence noted and it was with smiles that she was welcomed in the room. After staying with the twins until they fell asleep, she was escorted by her husband back to the hallway.

“I am so tired I had to give my everything to resist calling it a night and just crashing on Danny’s bed with him,” Amelia confessed with a playful grin, putting both arms around herself and rubbing them to fight off the cold and exhaustion.

“Was your shift that bad? I thought you would come home after the surgery you paged me to,” Owen confessed with an understanding glance, pulling the covers on her side of the bed first so she could crawl in. After he got a positive nod in response and realized Amelia was too exhausted to elaborate an answer, he added, “I was kind of hoping we could start that show about the hostages trapped on an island on Netflix tonight,” he joined her in bed. Unlike his wife, Owen didn’t feel the least inclined to fall asleep. It had been happening quite often lately.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Amelia agreed with a yawn. “I actually should start drafting the paper for my new research but, nope, not gonna happen.”

“If I put on the show, you’re going to fall asleep five minutes into it,” Owen shook his head with playful disapproval as he turned on the TV with the remote anyway. After returning the object to his nightstand, he used his arm to capture his wife by the waist and pull her closer.

Amelia didn’t protest but rather sought the warmth of his embrace. She’d had a really long day with back-to-back surgeries and a lot of unexpected bureaucracy to deal within her department. The following days promised to be just as busy as she once again planned a new and complicated research within her department but at least for now she could enjoy the comfort of her husband’s familiar embrace and relax while he gently stroked her hair as she lay against him with her eyes closed hearing the sound of the TV on the background.

The neurosurgeon was nearly asleep when something her husband had said earlier that night came to her memory and she suddenly couldn’t put her mind at ease again.

“What was weird?”

Owen seemed very confused by her blunt question and Amelia instantly figured out that she hadn’t explained herself very well.

“When I arrived from work today… You said that running into your ex and finding out she is teaching Robbie and Danny was weird,” Amelia reminded him, slightly rolling her head to the side and opening her eyes to meet his gaze. “Why would you think that? It’s not a word you use very often.”

Owen seemed to think for a while before he opened his mouth to reply.

“I meant to say I didn’t see it coming, I guess,” he said with a low, patient tone of voice while looking straight into his wife’s eyes. Amelia still felt his fingers gently caressing her hair and that combined with the sincerity in his gaze as he maintained eye contact with her made her sure that Owen was being honest. “It just took me by surprise… I hadn’t seen her or heard from her in years.”

Amelia took her time processing his answer. It made absolute sense that Owen would be surprised with the news. But somehow, there seemed to be more to it. As if he wasn’t only surprised, but also shocked and intrigued.

“You don’t talk much about her,” Amelia mentioned the most casually she could. Robbie and Danny had obviously gotten the impression that their teacher was upset with their father, even though he’d denied it. Amelia could only wonder what that meant.  “I mean, you never really told me what happened between the two of you.”

“There isn’t much to tell,” Owen said, hoping it wasn’t too obvious he was avoiding going deeper into that conversation or else it would only raise a flag for Amelia to ask further questions. He didn’t want to go into the subject because deep down, it ashamed him to admit to his wife how he’d treated his ex-fiancé in the past. Even though Owen supposed he had to cut himself some slack considering how unwell he’d been at the time, he still couldn’t come to terms with his realizations from that day. “We met when we really young and as we grew older, I got wiser and eventually I realized that she wasn’t the right woman for me, so we broke up,” he summed up, hoping Amelia’s tiredness would prevent her from asking further details.

Owen should suspect he wasn’t going to get away so easily, though.

“Why?” Amelia moved in his arms and gently turned her head up to maintain their eye contact. “I mean, how did you come to the conclusion she wasn’t the right one for you?”

Even though she was very serious about her question, Owen was determined to skip all those painful, unnecessary parts of his past that would probably only serve to disappoint Amelia nearly as much as he felt disappointed in himself for his past behavior.

“Because she wasn’t you,” Owen said with flattery as he possessively chucked her under the chin and stared into her eyes with a trace of playfulness before stealing a kiss from her lips.

Amelia saw right through him and his plot.

“Oh yeah?” she pretended to be on board with his game. “And are you so smart that you’ve reached that conclusion and broke up with her before you even met me?” she asked with a challenging smile.

“Exactly. I am glad you’re able to acknowledge how smart I am,” Owen brought his other hand to her face and caressed her, mesmerized by the way she looked at him and everything he saw in her eyes. “I was just killing time while waiting for you,” he added with a teasing voice.

Amelia laughed right through his exaggerated sentimentality and before she could grill him, her husband decided to share a little more.

“Okay, so… When I started dating Beth, I was this idealistic, fresh off college guy who saw the world much the same way she did,” he explained. Back then Owen hadn’t known many of the hard truths he later on had learned about life. “But then I went to war and it changed me. Beth stayed and she remained the same person. As you can see, it was only a matter of time before our perspectives collided,” he added, being as evasive as he could without being dishonest. “Especially when our relationship was already on the rocks because of the distance and everything... So that’s why it never had much of a future.”

When Owen took a deep breath and slowly let it out, Amelia wondered if she really should be pushing him to talk about that subject. She knew that even after all those years, talking about his deployments and what had happened during the time he’d been at war was still hard on her husband. If he had to relive all of those things to talk about his ex-fiancé, it was no wonder why he was avoiding the subject.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up some hard memories. I know you don’t like talking about the war,” she considerately said.

Owen gave her a doubtful sideways glance, suspicious about the intention of her last statement considering how much in the past Amelia had used her power of persuasion to get him to talk about his time in service.

“Alright, I know I grill you about it, but only when it is for your own good!” she justified her manners, getting a playful glance in response.

“It wouldn’t be you if you didn’t,” Owen commented lightheartedly, although deep down he hoped the conversation about Beth was over.

Owen didn’t have to think about it for much longer because sooner after, Amelia finally gave in to exhaustion, quickly falling asleep next to him.

Knowing he wouldn’t be as lucky as his wife to successful rest and put his mind at ease, Owen was once again confronted by memories of his past and his misdoings.

From everything he’d learned that day, he had to admit that finding out Beth apparently hadn’t gotten married or had kids was by far what had blown his mind. Her vague answer about her life at present time and indirect admission that she didn’t have any kids was still conflicting Owen. He hadn’t seen a ring on her finger either and didn’t fully understand why that got to him.

He and Beth had spent apart the majority of the time they were a couple, mostly because Owen had been deployed. But that didn’t mean Owen hadn’t gotten to truly know Beth and what moved her.

During his life, he’d met all kinds of women. Some dreamed of being doctors, some wanted to be business owners, a few had no idea what they really wanted. And Owen knew that people’s dreams and goals changed overtime. But ever since he’d known Beth, the only thing she had ever truly wanted was to be a mom. So to find out she had made it this far in life without fulfilling that dream made Owen feel strangely sad, and to some degree, even accountable.

During the time they had been together, all Beth ever talked about was getting married, having kids and being a stay at home mom. And Owen knew that dream wasn’t just something she considered for herself but rather something she felt like defined her. Kind of like an ideal she based her entire life on, according to the teacher’s own admissions. And even though Owen knew it could very well have changed over the years, based on what he’d seen earlier that day, he had a bad feeling Beth’s life aspirations hadn’t really changed at all.

But soon enough, the surgeon wondered if that perhaps he was being too arrogant and giving himself too much importance.

What did he know, really? Maybe Beth had indeed tried. For all he knew, she could have met half a dozen guys after him and moved on with her life as he honestly wished she had. Beth could have even gotten married. Just because apparently it hadn’t worked out, it didn’t mean she hadn’t tried, he told himself.

But before Owen could control it, his gut feeling told him that it probably had not been like that. Beth was very selective. She wouldn’t be jumping from guy to guy looking for a Prince Charming. And she definitely wouldn’t marry the first guy that came along considering how much of a romantic, idealistic girl she had always been.

Up until now, Owen had never really given any thought about how much he’d affected Beth’s life by breaking up with her and leaving her alone to deal with her dying father. Maybe he was overestimating the importance of the role he had in her life but judging by how dependent Beth had been on him at the time and the spoiled, naïve and sheltered way with which she had been raised, it was only fair to assume that he’d put her through so much heartbreak that perhaps he’d played a bigger role into turning the woman into a cynical than he’d initially assumed.

You made me lose my ground, Beth had said. That wasn’t something a person who’d experienced a common heartbreak confessed. Her suffering had probably gone beyond that. And Owen knew he had a big load of responsibility for putting her through it.

It was absolutely true that he couldn’t have forced himself to love Beth in the way she wanted him to love her. Owen was in peace with that. But there were a lot of things he could have done differently.

He could have broken up with her earlier on when he’d first realized they didn’t want the same things instead of postponing it and unknowingly doing it in the worst possible moment… Just before her father got sick.

He could have called to check in on her after she’d learned the truth.

Hell, he could have at least asked about her father and offered help if she needed any kind of medical assistance…

It stung to realize this only now, but maybe for Beth, being engaged to him and getting married to him meant more than it did for the surgeon. Owen had failed to realize just how important their relationship was to her at the time. Perhaps he might have ruined her life more than he imagined, more than he’d ever considered himself capable to.

While drowning in his own guilt, Owen failed to realize that he hadn’t really been herself back then.

If he shared some of the thoughts that were torturing him with his wife, she would have rightfully pointed out that he had just been through something huge by the time everything unfolded. After going through perhaps his worst army deployment, Owen had not been in a condition to make any good decisions. In addition to that, he had already accepted that by the time he’d put an end to his relationship with Beth, he didn’t love her in the way she deserved. And frankly, even back then her presence in his life and constant badgering had already started to annoy him. He knew Beth did it with the best of intentions, but Owen just wouldn’t have put up with being questioned constantly and forced to confront his experiences in the Army, much less talking about them.

If Owen had stayed with Beth, he would never have given her the opportunity to help him, no matter how much she would have wanted to. Her attempts would increasingly irritate him, perhaps to the point where everything would backfire, causing more pain and heartbreak. Owen could be quite difficult when he was pushing people away and it was likely he could have hurt Beth even more if he’d forced himself to be around her.

Years later, it was easy to look at his past and judge himself after assuming he could have done better or tried harder. But truth was, Owen couldn’t have seen any of that at the time because he was struggling with his own demons and focusing too much on the outcome of his decisions to really see the bigger picture.

Exactly in the same way he was functioning right now.

Owen took another deep breath, trying to process everything. He couldn’t change his past and the way he’d hurt other people, no matter how much he wanted to. The burden weighing on his chest felt especially heavy after the truths he’d learned recently. Sometimes it was just too hard for him to forgive himself.

One look at the woman sleeping peacefully by his side made Owen want to try and see the silver lining. All his misdoings and mistakes, even the worst ones, had led him exactly to the life he was living right now. That was something he couldn’t take for granted. As he lay awake in bed, forcing himself to clear his mind of all those thoughts, Owen realized that he was sorry for many things. Some of his choices had been absolutely dreadful and if he could go back on them, he would.

But if there was something he wasn’t sorry about it was definitely the person lying next to him and everything they had built together. His family was by far the most important thing he had and it was his responsibility to take care of them and make sure they were okay.

Owen had hurt a lot of people on the course of his life but he would never forgive himself if he did the same to Amelia and the kids. Just the thought of it made him cringe, and the surgeon immediately closed his eyes rejecting the idea, more determined than ever to protect them from anyone and anything.  

Even if that included himself.

--

[toevenexist]

The Darkening Pt. 15

Hello! sorry for taking so long with this, I’ve just been writing away with this, I already have a lot more to post! I hope you like it, please let me know if you like where its going, and what you’d like to read!!! 

All of you feedback is so so much appreciated, good and bad. 

Chapter 14

Masterpost

Anyway enjoy  xxx Amelia slept for a few hours, having slept for a long time on their journey. She opened her eyes and found Evelyn awake too, sitting up against the base of the couch, where Nina slept. She felt Amelia’s eyes on her and met them, smiling tiredly.

“Can’t sleep?” Evelyn asked her quietly. Amelia shook her head, pushing herself up, leaning on her arm. “Want to come sit with me?” Evelyn asked and Amelia nodded, shuffling to the end of the mattress and shifting on to her hands and knee’s crawling carefully across the short distance between them. She settled down on a cushion beside Evelyn and sighed softly. Evelyn took Amelia’s hand and held it tightly. They sat in silence, watching the candles flickering light.

“Owen and I….” Amelia began, she looked down at herself. “We should have been more careful, I…. feel so guilty…” She stopped, pressing her lips together tightly, frowning.

“I feel so guilty for bringing a baby into this” she said, tears dropping from her eyes, landing in dark circles on her bump. She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut.

“Oh Amelia, I know, I know” Evelyn smiled sadly, curling her arm around Amelia, pulling her into a hug. “You mustn’t think that way, this baby will be happy, and loved, and protected, just as she would if the circumstances were different” Evelyn soothed her hand against Amelia’s back. 

Amelia nodded slightly, “It’s just, its not fair, I hate that we can’t give them a normal life”

“We’ll find somewhere safe, we’ll grow food, she won’t know any different, it will be okay” Evelyn said holding Amelia tightly. They sat quietly. Eventually Amelia sighed, sniffling, relaxing further into Evelyn’s embrace, it reminded her of her mom’s.

“You think the baby is a girl?” Amelia asked, fiddling with the fabric of Evelyn’s sleeve.

“I do, the way you’re carrying, and I always guess right” Evelyn said, brushing the hair from Amelia’s forehead, letting Amelia relax into her lap. She gently played with her hair with one hand, and rest her other against the side of her bump. Amelia closed her eyes, the comfort of the situation, overwhelming her.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” Amelia asked,

“I slept in the truck on the way too, are you feeling better?��

Amelia hummed, “yeah, I do, I hope it was just a bug or something. I just want to feel okay, normal. Though I don’t think I’ll be feeling ‘normal’ for a long time”

“I don’t think any of us will sweetie, we’ll find a new normal,  hopefully you’ll feel better soon… I had sickness and nausea until six months with Megan”

“Maybe it’s Owen’s genes then”

“Did your mom ever tell you about her pregnancies?”

“No… it never really came up”

“They say the more kids you have, the easier the pregnancies get”

“This is my second…” Amelia found herself saying, Evelyn’s hand stilled briefly. “I had a baby when I lived in LA, he was born without a brain and… He died”

“Oh Amelia, I’m sorry to hear”

“It’s okay, it’s okay”

“You know I had a stillborn, long before Owen and Megan were born, until then, I didn’t know pain like that existed… I didn’t think I could survive, but… I did, and when I had Owen, the pain... it didn’t have as great a hold on me. I could see my baby, my first baby, in him, then in Megan, I still do” Amelia smiled softly, casting her gaze across the room, at Megan, and at her husband, both sound asleep.

“Is the baby normally more active at night?”

“Mostly when I’m awake, and lying down. Makes falling asleep difficult, I think she settles as soon as I drift off.”

Evelyn’s hand splayed against Amelia’s stomach and Amelia closed her eyes. “Do you need to lie down?” Amelia asked, realising that she was falling asleep. Evelyn shook her head, “no dear, I’m comfortable enough here. I don’t feel like sleeping anyhow.”

She continued threading her fingers through Amelia’s hair. Amelia sighed.

---------------------------------

When Owen awoke, it was daylight. He felt immediate anxiety at the realisation that Amelia wasn’t in bed beside him. That anxiety immediately faded when he saw her with his mom. They were both asleep. Evelyn was reclined against some pillows against the base of the couch, with her legs outstretched. Amelia lie with her head resting in Evelyn’s lap.  A woolen blanket curled around them, keeping them both warm.

Megan and Richard were awake, sitting with the children, all of them eating sandwiches. Nina was sat up on the couch, with her arms wrapped around her legs, eyes fixed on the grey sky through the window. Arizona and Alex were both still asleep, or appeared to be.

Wind rattled the single paned window, and whistled through the cracks in the wooden frame. Amelia shrugged at the wind in her sleep and pulled the blanket up to her shoulder. Evelyn opened her eyes, looking down first, at Amelia, pulling the blanket up further over her shoulder, stroking her hair back. Owen found himself smiling, seeing his mom care so lovingly for Amelia warmed his heart.

Evelyn looked up, meeting his eyes. “She woke up last night, I was already awake, I couldn’t sleep”

“You’re both okay?” Owen asked, and Evelyn nodded, looking back to Amelia, soothing her hand against her shoulder. Amelia pouted, furrowing her brows. Owen knew she was waking up. “Hopefully no morning sickness today” Owen said, crossing the room, dropping down onto the empty mattress in front of Amelia and Evelyn.

Amelia opened her eyes, closing one and peering up at Owen. He smiled, “he.y”

Amelia closed her eyes again and groaned with exertion as she sat up. She looked around, forgetting, for a moment, where she was. “Hi…”

“Are you alright?” Evelyn asked, folding her arms. Amelia nodded sharply, twisting so that she too leant against the couch base, feet outstretched towards Owen. Owen wrapped his hands around her feet and pressed the pads of his thumbs into her arches. “How are you feeling?” Owen asked, running his eyes over her. She inhaled deeply.

“Okay” she said, nodding, looking to Owen hands as they moved around her feet, “I feel okay, tired”

“Hungry?”

“Sure” Amelia replied, smiling warmly. Owen nodded, looking to his mom.

“Mom?”

“Please”

Owen looked to Richard, “I think we’re just doing sandwiches, that alright?”

The two women nodded, and pulled in their feet so that Owen could walk around them.

“I need to pee” Amelia said, looking behind her to check she wouldn’t be hitting Nina as she got herself up.

She met Owen’s gaze at the door, just as she pulled the chair away from the handle. He smiled warmly, acknowledging her.

-----------------------------------

The hall was illuminated by the light of day, and it looked entirely different than it had when they’re arrived in the night. There were pictures on the walls, of a family. Amelia moved along the hall slowly, running her eyes across the images, there were light patches on the walls where it looked as if picture frames had once sat.

At the end of the hallway shoes were strewn around the floor; a man’s, a women’s, and a small girls. Amelia cast her eyes back at the pictures. They had a baby, maybe a year old. Looking back down at the shoes, she moved forward and lifted the lid of a large wicca box, and found more shoes. A tiny red shoe, just longer than the length of her thumb sat in the corner. A heat overwhelmed her and she took in a sharp breath, leaning down and picking it up. Holding it in both of her hands. She looked back to the pictures.

Owen’s voice shook her from her thoughts, he called her name. She looked down at the shoe, and Owens hand cupped hers. Ray and Ellis moved around her and she could see them peering about, at the shoe in her hand, and then at the shoe box. Their energy was contagious, they were giggling, and nattering away. Ray, saw the other red shoe and gave it to Ellis, telling her to “Give it to Meelie.” Their exchange brought a smile to Amelia’s face.

Ellis waddled towards Amelia, singing, “Meelie, mommy” holding the shoe up to Amelia. Amelia’s smile faltered slightly, as did Owens, but they both recovered quickly. “Present” she said, handing it to Amelia with a big smile.

“Thank you baby” Amelia said, taking the shoe. Ellis reached up for Amelia as soon as the baby shoe left her tiny hand, wanting to be carried. Amelia instinctively bent to pick her up, but Owen got to her first, lifting her the majority of the way and placing her into Amelia’s arms, saving his wife’s back.

“Maybe, we could... Keep these shoes?” Amelia asked Owen, feeling suddenly exposed. Owen smiled, looking to the shiny red shoes. He nodded, and leant in to kiss her, taking the shoes into his hands. “Alright Ellis bear, will you look after uncle Owen for me while I go pee? He gets awful lonely” Amelia said, speaking into Ellis’ ear as if it were a secret between them. Ellis turned her head, looking to Owen, who pulled a sad face, bottom lip rolling. Ellis grinned and lolled backwards, reaching out for Owen to take her.

Ray stayed behind, looking down at all the shoes. “The little girl who left here, looks to be the same size Ray, you want to see if there’s a good pair of boots?”

“What if they come back to look for them?”

“They won’t, because she’ll have taken yours from your house, it’s like a swap” Amelia said, hoping the family were alive somewhere, and not gnawing at dead flesh out in the woods. Ray twisted her lips, gazing down, considering Amelia’s words. “Maybe there’ll be some comfier shoes you could wear too?” Ray shrugged, looking around. Amelia nodded, her smile reaching her eyes.

“Have a look for me, I’ll look with you in a minute”

“Can we talk through the door, I don’t want to be on my own”

“I’ll leave it open a little if you promise to guard the door for me” Amelia suggested, slowly moving past Ray into the toilet. Ray nodded sharply, pulling the bathroom door too, open a gap.

--------------------------------

“Here, sit down” Ray directed Amelia to a chair she had dragged into the hall. Amelia allowed her to pull her towards it, and sat down. “I’m alright Ray, I don’t actually need to sit down?”

“Well…” Ray, lowered herself onto the floor amongst all the shoes she had pulled from the box. Amelia frowned curiously, taking in the little girl’s worried expression. “What is it Ray?”

“I think… well… you have a baby in your tummy… and everything is too dangerous, and I heard Owen talking to Nina in the van… and you weren’t well”

Amelia’s face morphed to one of sudden understanding.

“You had that big fight when you got me… and you almost died, and I don’t want you to get hurt, you or the baby… So I just…” she looked up, spanning her gaze around Amelia, and at the chair.

 “Oh Ray, Come here” Amelia said, reaching out her hands.  Ray climbed to her feet and moved to Amelia, who held both of her hands. Ray pouted, keeping her gaze from Amelia’s, staring pointedly at Amelia’s stomach instead. “Ray, back then… I wasn’t being as careful as I am now, and plus everyone is looking after me.”

Ray nodded gently, furrowing her brows. Amelia pulled her on to her lap, wrapping her arms around her. “I’m okay, Ray, I promise. I was just sick in the truck, which is normal when you grow a baby” Ray nodded again. ”Everything will be okay… alright?”

Ray smirked, pressing her lips together and nodding. Amelia kissed her on the cheek and held her tightly, “Breathe little one” she whispered, feeling some tension leave Ray. Ray swung her feet and smiled wider. “Oh, look at those lovely shoes” Amelia said, peering down at the red boots on Ray’s feet, they were much like the tiny pair that she’d found earlier. Ray smiled proudly, and nodded.

“They fit nice”

“They do? Well I guess it was meant to to be” She said, hugging Ray tightly, dotting a kiss to her cheek.

------------------

“Are we leaving?” Amelia asked, moving back into the room with Ray at her side. Amelia had a nearly new pair of sneakers on her feet.”Yeah…” Owen said, walking to her and handing her half a sandwich. Amelia took it, nodding slowly, looking around at everyone.

 Bags were being restuffed, and heaved over shoulders. Ray sped from her side, over to Ellis and her bag and her toys, and her cat Ginny, who’d become a tame and well behaved version of herself. 

 Amelia felt the prickle of a shiver sweep over her body as she entertained the idea of being out on the road again.

She wrapped her arm around her stomach and swallowed back a ball of tension in her throat. “Sit on the couch Amelia dear, we’ll get everything sorted” Evelyn spoke kindly, her hand pressing firmly against her back. Amelia released a restrained breath and looked down at herself, moving to the couch without looking up.

Richard stooped over the sofa and passed Amelia another sandwich. He paused behind her, eyeing everyone around the room as they packed their bags. He glanced down at Amelia, at the hand she had pressed firmly against her stomach. He sucked in a chestful of air and pursed his lips. He quashed his worry for her, and for the baby. He met Owens gaze and they exchanged a stream of concern. Richard smiled tightly, and turned away, back to his bag.

Amelia finished her sandwich and smoothed her hands over her bump, closing her eyes. Owen grit his teeth. His worry became weighty, and a sudden dizziness overwhelmed him. He winced, swallowing hard, looking down at his feet, at his bags.

---------------------------------

“We ready?” Alex spoke, pulling the door open.

No one answered verbally, they simply began to file out of the room. Amelia walked ahead of Owen. She was tired, Owen could tell that much from the extent of her waddle. His eyes watered at the prospect of not being able to give her what she needed right now; safety, and certainty. She paused at the door, taking in the morning mist, and the cool grey sky. Owen bit his lip, and ran is hand across her waist. She shuddered slightly, startled, before nodding, stepping out.

The grass was crisp under their feet, ice melting. The van bounced up and down as everyone jumped in. “um, how… how long will we be driving?” Amelia asked, taking Alex by the arm.

“Uh, I don’t know… we… Hey Owen… You and Amelia sit up front with me? Seeing the road might help your sickness” Alex said, gaze locking with Amelia’s again. She inhaled and smiled, awash with relief at the idea of not having to ask to be sedated again. Owen nodded, slinging their bags into the back of the truck and tucking the pillows he was carrying higher up under her arms. Amelia took a step back so the doors could close and moved against Owen’s chest. He pressed a kiss to the back of her head and she smiled, turning to him and briefly dropping her head against his shoulder.

----------------------------------------

 The van part the mist as it sped along the barren road, the sky was white. Amelia sat with her back to the window, pillows surrounding her, her calves on Owen’s lap. The window wipers were the only sound, thumping and sweeping against the window. Amelia gazed lazily out the front window, eyes drooping every so often. 

Owen and Alex’s eyes were wide and observant, out at the road. They drove along a forest road for what seemed like an hour. Amelia fell asleep after a while, comforted by the repetitiveness of the forest blurring either side of them.

“Are we heading back to the house?”  Owen wanted to confirm.

“Richards?”

“Yeah”

“Yeah we are, on the off chance that no one has found our stash of supplies”

“You know the way?”

“I know the direction, I’m hoping to see something familiar eventually, we might need to hit the edge of the city”

Owen nodded slowly, looking back to the road, then across at Amelia. Owen brushed his hands up and down her legs, and them moved one to her bump. He closed his eyes, letting his neck go slack, resting his head back. Under his hand he felt a slow fluttering of movement, and he pressed his lips together, suppressing his smile.

--------------------------------

A loud thump woke them both with a start, and they opened their eyes to find blood splattered against the window. The truck bobbed and bounced as it ran something over. Eyes widened, “Alex, what…” Amelia began, but Alex interrupted her.

���It’s okay, it was one of those… things, a zombie dude.”

It took the couple a while to relax, and to settle back into their seats. They both eyed the front window, as the window wipers streaked blood across the glass. Owen felt Amelia’s cold hand against the back of his, holding his against her. Soon the blood was gone, apart from a few smears at the corners.

They were out of the forest now, rushing along a straight road through frosted fields. Amelia pulled her legs towards her and folded them at the knees. She shuffled to sit up further and hummed, opening the window a crack. Wind crept in and played with the hair at the top of her head. She tilted her head back so she could inhale the cool air, eyes dropping shut. “Are you feeling sick?” Owen’s voice pierced through the sound of the rushing wind. Amelia nodded, uttering “A little, it’s fine.”

She closed the window after a few minutes, pulling a blanket up to her shoulders. “You know what I miss?” Amelia said, breaking the silence.

Both Owen and Alex peered her way, Owen’s eyes lingered on her. “Waffles?” Owen smirked, raising his brows. 

Amelia smiled back, shaking her head, “yes but, no… I miss tumours, big butterfly tumours…” She placed her hands at the back of her head and sat back, smiling.

Owen saw the glint in her eye, one he hadn’t known he’d been craving. 

“All of them, I miss surgery.”

“I miss waiting at the intake doors of the ER, for the ambulances to arrive… the anticipation of it” Owen said, nodding.

Amelia smiled, so did Alex.

“I miss the simple things…” Alex began, half smiling. “I miss the kids and… just seeing them get better… and go home”

The group beamed, their smiles lingering as they settled their eyes back at the road.

Up ahead, they could just make out the figures of people staggering in and out of the road. Amelia folded her legs in tighter and sat forward, eyes widening to take in the sight. Alex slowed slightly as they passed them. A man, dead, naked, was covered in darkened and blackened blood. The fingers of one hand were missing and the side of his face was mangled and bloody. A little boy followed, also seemingly dead. He walked slowly, on the balls of his feet, head hanging down. His hair spiked towards the ground, soaked and darkened by blood. He wore a oversized tshirt and the remnants of a pair of green shorts. Another man limped along side the boy, randomly changing direction and drifting into the woods as they passed by in the truck. “Fuck” Amelia muttered, sinking heavily into her chair. Alex and Owen both shared the sentiment.

LINK TO CHAPTER 16

Thanks for reading! please reblog and let me know if you liked it and what you’d like to read next!

[omeliafics]

Omelia Fic Library

Hey guys! Remember my fic library project? So, here it is as a post this time, since a few of you complained about the page not working. And it’s updated as well, so I hope you all enjoy it :)

Click on the name of the writer you want and their masterpost will show up!

only-freakin-sunflowers

filterlessmia

robbinsarizonas

fightuntilyoucan

jordan202: My boys  The journey

ailingnoor

junkieshep

superheroamelia

superheroshepherdess

toevenexist

greysukay

amelia-blackshepherd

omeliathehurricane

storybrookelifestyle

juanitawritings

bafy-usy

darlingamelia

ameliaashepherd

omeliafanfiction

drreporting: masterpost 1  masterpost 2

fight-till-u-cant-fight-anymore

bethisinwonderland

hurricane-jenn

amelliashepherds

monicaaaaatje

xocaterina

owenameliafiction

the-hunts

thecrazy-shepherd

noonerememberseasy

nealcassidy

amelia-hurricane-shepherd

june-louise

ladysmuttrifecta

omeliaobsessed

amelias-universe

Please, if you are one of the writers included, check if your link is the right one and keep it updated if you can.

If you are a fanfic writer and you are not in the post send the link to your masterpost in our ask box! Thank you!

[francescabuccino]

Pretend to Pretend (Part 2)

This story wanted to be a one shot, but i like this prompt too much, so this is part 2 and I already began working on part 3. Thank you @filterlessmia for the proofread, like always!

Meredith woke up the next morning, went down the stairs, and saw Amelia’s suitcase near the door. Amelia hasn’t talked to her since yesterday after she told her about her mother’s impending visit, but she didn’t think she was so angry that she would move out! Where would she go?

She heard some noises coming from the kitchen and decided to see who was in there. She saw Amelia grabbing things from the fridge and putting them in a bag...

“Amelia, what are you doing? I’m sorry about your mother, really! But what could I say? Where are you going now?”

“I’m not angry with you, Mer. Don’t worry. I’ll be back as soon as she’s gone.”

“You know you can’t avoid her forever, right?”

“I’m not going to avoid her. I’m going back to Owen’s so I will not hear from her that marrying him was a mistake or a symptom of my tumor, because it wasn’t. I loved him...” she stopped just for a moment “I still love him,” she said with a so little voice that even Meredith couldn’t hear her words.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea? He was pretty clear when he gave his ring back.”

“He was right. That was the best thing to do, we are friends now and he is just trying to be a good friend helping me.”

“If you still love him, you are not friends. Anyway, I’ll go get your mother from the airport at 10. Do you have to go in today?”

“Yes, I have to be at the hospital at 8. I’m going to Owen’s so I can leave my suitcase there and make some waffles...”

“Make some waffles?”

“Long story.”

At Owen’s hous...

Owen woke up to a familiar scent that was filling the entire house. He missed that scent the last few months, like he missed all those little things that made him fall in love with Amelia Shepherd. He was happy to have her there, even if only for a few days and he can’t wait to taste those waffles.

“Good morning,” he said, entering the kitchen.

“Good morning! Breakfast is almost ready!”

“You know you don’t have to really do this every day, right? I was kidding yesterday. Even though I’m not going to complain if you do.”

“I want to. I need to repay you in some way! I’m invading your home.”

“This was our home just few days ago. You are not invading anything. Now give me those waffles or I’m going to bite you!”

“I won’t complain if you do,” she thought, trying to focus on the breakfast more so than on that shirtless man in front of her who was the sexiest thing ever.

Later at the hospital...

It was 11 am and Amelia was waiting for her mom to show up any moment. Saying that she was nervous was an understatement. What can you say to a mother that didn’t show up on your wedding day?

“Amelia!”

She heard her voice behind her and turned around.

“Hi mom...”

She didn’t have the time to say anything else when she felt her mother’s arms engulfing her in a tight hug. It was an embrace of a mother and it was comforting like always, even if they weren’t in the best relationship at the moment. Amelia closed her eyes and lost herself in those arms that had embraced her since her first breath and that she missed so much. Then she remembered all the devastation she felt on her wedding day and broke the little pink bubble in which they were, stepping back and putting on a cold expression.

“How are you? Are you working again? It’s not too soon?”

“Fine. Yes and no... my surgeon cleared me a week ago.”

“That’s good.” Carolyn’s eyes didn’t leave Amelia’s, even for a moment, like she was trying to read her like only a mom could.

“Can we have lunch together? Please.”

“I was going to have lunch with Owen...”

That was the first excuse she had thought of.

“Oh! That’s even better! I would love to get to know him!”

“Really mom...”

“Please, Amelia.”

“Ok. We will be out in an hour or so.”

“Thank you.”

Crap! She had to find Owen now. She went directly to the surgical board.

“Tell me you are not in surgery, tell me you are not in surgery, tell me you are not in surgery.”

She repeated that so many times while searching his name.

OR 3. Emergency appendectomy. Surgeon: Owen Hunt.

This is good. An appendectomy  doesn’t require too much time, so her next stop was OR3.

“Dr Hunt,” she said, holding a mask over her mouth, “will this take long?”

“Do you need the OR? I’ll be out in 30 minutes.”

“Nope. I need you. Are you free for lunch?”

“I think so. Why? Are you ok?” He turned in her direction, a worried look on his face.

“I don’t know.” She really didn’t know. Her mother’s presence really destabilized her more than she thought. “My mother asked if we could have lunch together... altogether.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll be there.”

“I can tell her you had an emergency or something like that... I don’t want to bother you. I’m already living at your place....”

“Amelia, I said I’ll be there.”

“Okay. I’ll wait for you in the attendings’ lounge.”

From the moment she said her first word in that OR, Owen knew that there was something wrong with Amelia. She had that tone of voice he know well. There was something upsetting her and he needed to be with her. A friend has to do that, right? That was just another way to love her, to be with her—he was trying to convince himself that he was doing that for their friendship.

Amelia didn’t have another surgery scheduled that day so she went in the attendings’ lounge, waiting for Owen. Was she wrong about being cold with her mother? Her mother didn’t go to her wedding, but she was an horrible daughter to her, how could her mother trust her? Her mind was splitting in two parts and she didn’t know which one was thinking the right thing. She felt silent tears running down her cheeks, but she was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t heard the door opening and someone walking in the room.

“Amelia.”

As soon as she knew she wasn’t alone anymore, she used her sleeves to dry her face, but Owen knew she was crying just a moment before. He just sat near her and put an arm around her shoulders. Amelia laid her face on his chest and listened to the firm and steady rhythm of his heart while he ran his fingers through her hair and left a kiss on top of her head. They stayed in that position for few minutes, without moving, just enjoying the comfort of their bodies in contact once again. Then Amelia suddenly get up.

“I’m so so sorry, Owen. This will not happen again. I’m going to get changed and I’ll be ready in a blink of an eye.”

He didn’t even have the time to reply to that because she was already in the bathroom. He wanted to say that there wasn’t a problem, but he would have been a liar. There was something wrong because they weren’t married anymore and in that exact moment, when he could hold her, he felt like he wanted to be there all his life. Without moving. Without talking. That was the problem.

She was ready in less than 5 minutes and she came out from the bathroom like nothing had happened, like she wasn’t crying on his shirt less than 5 minutes ago, thinking that maybe she did the right thing. She was going to give her mother a chance, but not before talking about their issues.

“So, my mother is waiting for us in the hall, we are going to the steakhouse we went with Jenna and Leo last year, is that good for you?”

“Sure! I love that steakhouse.”

“I know,” Amelia said, smiling.

At the steakhouse...

“So, major, don’t you want to go back there for a new tour at some point?” Carolyn asked, interested.

“Nope. I want to be here now. This is my place. With your daughter.” Owen said, grabbing Amelia’s hand.

“He is a really good actor,” Amelia thought. “For a moment I thought he was saying the truth.”

During most of the lunch, Owen talked, answering Carolyn’s questions, while Amelia was mostly silent.

“And now that the tumor is gone, will you try to have a baby?”

That was the question Amelia knew would come up at some point. Owen didn’t answer and just stared at his empty plate with his mouth slightly open, leaving Amelia’s hand on the table.

“Mom, enough with the questions! I think Owen is a bit tired of answering them,” Amelia said, trying to change the subject.

“No, it’s okay,” Owen said, shaking his head a bit.

“Do you have to go back to the hospital?” Amelia asked.

“Yes. I have a surgery in an hour or so.”

“Okay. We will be at home.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at home. It was a pleasure, Mrs. Shepherd.”

“Call me Carolyn.”

“Ok, Carolyn,” Owen said, forcing a smile. He kissed Amelia on the cheek, got up and went out.

Amelia followed him with a worried look. This pretending thing was becoming bigger than she thought. She didn’t want to loose Owen, even if only as a friend.

“Hey sweetie, something wrong?”

Amelia looked at her mother.

“Nope. It’s all perfect.”

At home...

Amelia was still avoiding talking with her mother, well, they talked, but Amelia thought her mother would be really interested in knowing about how she choose all the furnitures at her “ex house,” why those color walls, why the shower and the kitchen... then she ran out of topics.

“Amelia, I need to talk to you,” her mother said, sitting on a couch in the backyard.

“Really? NOW you want to talk?”

“Amelia, I know you are angry at me, but you can’t have brain surgery and not call me. I would have taken the first flight here, you know that right?”

“Yes, I know, but you weren’t here when I needed you to be. I didn’t want you here because I didn’t need you for my tumor. I needed you on my wedding day and you weren’t here.”

“You know why I didn’t come, Amelia.”

“Sure. You thought I was using again and get married only because I was high. Right? Guess what? I wasn’t high, but I had a brain tumor and even after finding out about it I still would marry Owen another thousand times.”

“I know. Now, I know. I saw how much he loves you. He really does. And I saw how much you love him. It was stamped on your faces the whole time. I was scared Amelia, scared that you was making another mistake.”

“I know. You are a mother. Mothers have to be scared for their children, especially if they made a lot of mistakes in the past and I did.”

“But you are here now and you are safe. You can’t understand how much it means for me. Only a mom could know that.”

“I can.” said Amelia, looking at her hands in her lap “I was a mom. For 43 minutes. I know what it means to lose a child and I can understand how much you were scared every time you almost lost me.”

“You had a baby? That’s why Owen was strange about that topic at lunch?”

“He wasn’t Owen’s. I had a baby when I was in LA. I was just out from the rehab back then and he was without a brain, so he lived for 43 minutes. He donated all of his organs and saved so many babies. I’m so proud of him. He did so much in the little time he had.” Amelia said, looking at her mother with teary eyes. I can understand you. I was scared too and I’m scared to lose another baby. I know what you felt.”

Carolyn got up and hugged her daughter who was now sobbing. She knew her daughter’s life wasn’t simple, but she would never have imagined all this.

The two woman were too busy in their heartbreaking chat that they hadn’t heard that someone was now home and was listening to them.

[amelia-blackshepherd]

Who’s Got Game 2.0

So after last night and feeling devastated, I saw the promo for 14x06 and some how got an optimistic thought from it concerning Omelia. So here it goes, just a short little story.

“Are you dating anyone?” He gently questions, out of no where. Very little time has passed since we ended things, or well restarting them, or took a step back… I don’t really know what we are doing. It is not like we have talked about it, us.

“No.” I say not entirely certain where he is going with this conversation. Especially considering everything that has happened the past few weeks. Me being an ass to him, him ready to end things, discovering my tumor, having surgery, moving back home, ending our relationship.

Although the most confusing part is, him ending our relationship after I gave him a chance to be free and figure everything out, seeing as he “married a tumor.” Is our relationship over though, or are we simple taking a step back to figure us out, as individuals and as a couple. Maybe that is where this conversation is headed, I hope at least.

He smirks slightly when I say ‘no.’ And a lightbulb goes off in my head, we are starting over, we aren’t done! That relation gives me such happiness, but I don’t let on that I’ve figured out what he is doing. This time around I’m going to have some fun with this.

And hey, with my tumor gone, maybe, I’ll have my game back. I smirk back at him before testing him with my response, “But we could.” I hold eye contact with him, trying to read his mind as he processes my idea. I don’t really want to date anyone else, and I don’t think he does either. But it is too fun to tease him, to throw him off his game.

I see his smile fade as he tries to say something back and fails, clearly thrown off by my response. God, he is cute when he is confused and flustered. If we are restarting this flirtatious phase of our relationship, this time I have game too, I am going to win.

[amelialincoln]

Fic Masterpost

Something Good (Omelia oneshot)

Pt 1: https://omeliafanfiction.tumblr.com/post/166657346641/something-good-pt-1-owen-hunt-took-a-deep

Pt 2: https://omeliafanfiction.tumblr.com/post/166657378981/something-good-pt-2-whys-amelia-at-the

Falling Slowly (multichaper fic: tbc)

Pt 1: https://omeliafanfiction.tumblr.com/post/164295957621/falling-slowly-pt1

Pt 2: https://omeliafanfiction.tumblr.com/post/164297011426/falling-slowly-pt-2

Years and Years (Omelia oneshot) : https://omeliafanfiction.tumblr.com/post/166663470496/years-and-years-her-chocolate-curls-flew-around

Divinire (Omelia oneshot): https://omeliafanfiction.tumblr.com/post/166663869766/divinire-lol-dont-know-where-the-title-thing

[gl211]

Chances Part 3

This ones a short one! More Owen/Amelia to come soon.

Part 1

Part 2

Owen felt his heart stop. He was dreaming again. He'd had this dream before. In two seconds he'd wake up in a cold sweat and the nightmare would be over. So why wasn't he waking up?

He continued to watch the woman in front of him as she just stared back at both he and Nathan.

Nathan looked pale, like he wasn't sure what he was looking at. Like he was trying to say something but no words were coming out.

"Um... Amelia and I were on the same flight. We were seat mates."

Owen felt chest tighten, his heart practically beating out of it and quickly got up, going to the back of the house, leaving everyone else slightly confused.

Amelia quickly excused herself and followed after him. She found him in the bathroom, she gently knocked before slipping in.

He sat against the bath tub practically white knuckling it  and he looked like he was shaking.

Amelia knelt down in front of him her hand going to his arm as she felt him practically jump.

"Owen. Owen, just take a deep breath."

This wasn't working. She quickly pulled him towards her, grabbing his hand and placing it over her heart.

"Do you feel my heart beat?"

She watched him nod and close his eyes, visibly still sweating. She clasped her other hand at the back of his neck.

"It means that I'm real and I'm here. And Megan is here and she's real. She's safe."

Owen felt himself slowly come down from whatever panic attack had happened.

"How did she... what did she... where?"

"I know there a lot of questions. And she probably can't answer all of them. But she's here. Your sister is here. Because she wants you to know where she is."

Owen nodded. He cleared his throat. He leaned and they both hesitated, they hadn't kissed in what was probably weeks now. Amelia smiled softly at him before nodding at him, letting him know it was okay to not be ready yet.

She stood up first, offering her hand and pulled him up, pretending to struggle for comedic relief, making him smile.

They walked back into the room to a scene that was nearly identical to when they had left. Megan was still standing by the door and had locked eyes with Nathan, who was still staring at her.

Owen walked closer to Megan as she stared back at him, he took two steps and she took two steps and finally they were standing right in front of each other.

"Hi."

And that was all it took for Owen to hug his sister as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. Her soft sobs could be heard as she the two siblings were reunited, Amelia could hear  Owen trying to quietly soothe her cries.

Her heart felt happy for Owen, but seeing the brother and sister immediately made her miss her own brother.

Nathan cleared his throat and stood up as Amelia furiously made eye contact with him, silently asking what he was doing.

"Well... I should get going."

Megan pulled away from Owen wiping her eyes.

"You should stay."

"No no... I have a patient I need to check on at the hospital."

Megan nodded trying to understand, but knew he was leaving for his own reasons. She reached into her bag rummaging for a minute before pulling out a card.

"I'm... I think I'll be here for a few days.  Maybe we can... grab a drink. Catch up?"

Nathan accepted the card and nodded before gesturing a goodbye to both Amelia and Owen.

Amelia wasn't buying it. She quickly excused herself before following him outside.

She closed the door behind her and walked straight after him.

"Nathan. What was that?"

Nathan shook his head as to indicate he didn't want to talk about. They both reached his car and he stopped and turned around.

"Shep you don't get it."

"Get what? That you cheated on her? Trust me I could beat you on life destroying stories. You're not going to..."

"I gave up! Don't you get that?"

Amelia immediately shut up at his tone. They stood there in silence for a moment before she walked, leaning up against his car next to him.

"I just gave up looking. How can I possibly look at her and acknowledge that? That I wasn't good enough, that I should've fought harder for her. How do you suggest I do that?"

Amelia looked at him, seeing how broken he was about the matter. She heard him sigh and try to vehemently suck in any emotion that was bubbling. She reached and placed his hand over his, squeezing it in reassurance and that was all it took for Nathan to hang his head.

She could hear him sniffling softly, her hand only squeezing his a little harder, letting him know that she was here and she wasn't about to leave. And she finally felt a squeeze a back.

Amelia thought she was doing the best thing for everyone by reuniting the three. But what if she was just destroying their lives all over again? 

[omeliaendgame]

Okay, so I have this Story in my head since a couple of days, but I don’t write, so I wanted to try to ask you.

Amelia, Owen, Teddy, Megan and Nathan go iceskating on a lake and Amelia falls into the water. The others pull her out and bring her home to get her warm.

I LOVE fluff and angst fics :-)

Sounds interesting! What do you all think?

I hope that I can write it in the way you imagine it. 😊

[omeliaendgame]

Dinner Time

Hey Omelia-Fans :-) I had an idea of a new Oneshot last night and because I got a request for another sickfic, I simply mixed the storylines ;-) I hope you´ll like it!

@ameliashepherdwannabe

„Ready to go? We have to be at the restaurant soon.“, Meredith asked. Amelia, Owen and Maggie nodded and made their way to the car. For this evening Tom had organized a dinner for all Chief Surgeons, so they had to leave their work to the attendings and interns. But fortunately it has been a calm day at Grey-Sloan and they could leave the hospital in time. „You´re driving too fast, Mer!“, Maggie complained. Meredith rolled her eyes but slowed down a little. „You´re too fussy at times.“, she told Maggie. „Hey, the light is read!“, Maggie exclaimed. Meredith put her foot on the brake and the car stopped abruptly. „See, you were driving too fast!“, Maggie said. „No, I didn´t see the light because of you.“, Meredith replied, as it turned green again. „I just hope you are not driving like this with your kids in here.“, Maggie said. „I´m just hungry!“, Meredith told her. „Me too, could you drive a little faster?“, Owen joked. „We´re gonna have an accident. And not because I´m driving too fast, but because you all are distracting me!“, Meredith laughed. „No time for an accident. My phone says, we´re here.“, Maggie announced.

When they stepped into the restaurant, the other doctor´s were already there. „We´re not too late.“, Meredith defended herself when she saw them all glancing at her. „We didn´t say something.“, Teddy laughed, „We´re happy you´re here!“ They sat down and the waiter brought them the menu. Only 2 minutes later, everyone had chosen his dinner. „Soo, it´s very cool that we have finally managed to have this dinner together!“, Tom said. „Yeah!“, Jackson answered. „Two days without work.“, he smiled and leaned back. „Ugh, I have to work tomorrow.“, Maggie complained jokingly. „And I have my free day tomorrow, but I´m gonna go to work anyway, because I can tell you that my intern will screw up tonight.“, Owen said. „Oh.“, Teddy said, „I have DeLuca, he´s great.“ „I have Wilson“, Meredith triumphed.  „Wait, are we playing ,Who has the best replacement´? Because I´m not gonna participate, I have Schmitt.“, Link uttered.

While the other´s continued talking about the interns, Amelia tried to focus on staying awake. She hadn´t felt that good for the whole day and now she didn´t know how to last the evening. But before she closed her eyes, the waiter came and brought the food. „Your meal looks great!“, Owen said and Amelia smiled a little. „Hey, are you okay?“, he asked quietly, noticing her pale face. „I´m just not feeling well, but it´s fine.“, she answered. Owen knitted his brows compassionately. „Oh. Are you sure? Tell me if you want to go home.“, he said and Amelia nodded gratefully. She began to eat, but although her food was very tasty she couldn´t enjoy it, because every bite made her feel sick to the stomach. After she hardly finished her meal as the last of all, Jackson asked: „Who wants a dessert?“ „I don´t.“, Meredith, Tom and Teddy answered  and also Amelia shook her head. Actually she really wanted to go home, but Owen and the others had so much fun and she didn´t want to ruin it. However, the nausea which had hit her earlier, just got worse, so she rested her head on her hands. She heard the others laugh about something, and before she could ask what the joke was, she felt the urge to throw up. „I have to go to the bathroom.“, she informed Owen quickly and stood up. When she opened the bathroom door, she immediately rushed to the toilet and emptied her stomach. Then she leaned against the wall, knowing that another wave of nausea would hit her soon.

She didn´t know how much time had passed when she heard someone knocking at the door. „Amelia? Are you in there?“, Meredith said. Amelia raised her arm to open the door. Meredith took a step and sat down next to her. „Bad food, huh?“, she asked. Amelia shook her head. „I don´t think so. I wasn´t feeling great already before the dinner.“ Meredith looked at her sympathetically. „Do you want me to get you some water?“ Amelia shook her head again. „I think I´m okay now. I just want to go gome.“, she muttered. „Okay, let´s go.“, Meredith replied and helped Amelia to get up. They went back to their table, where Owen already expected them. When he saw Amelia, he knew right away why she had taken so long. „We´re going home.“, Meredith told him and Maggie. They nodded and Owen went to Amelia and stroked her back slightly. Then he put his hand on her forehead for a moment, noticing that she had a fever. So he grabbed Amelia´s jacket and put it around her, while Meredith and Maggie said goodbye to the others. After that they all left the restaurant and went to Meredith´s car.

It was almost 11pm when Meredith dropped Owen and Amelia off at their house. Owen opened the door and took off his jacket and shoes while Amelia sat down. He put his hand on her shoulder and said: „Let´s go to bed.“ Amelia nodded a little but suddenly covered her mouth. Owen followed her to the bathroom and knelt down behind her, when she began to throw up again. He gently rubbed her back until she finished vomiting. „And I thought my stomach was already empty.“, Amelia groaned after a while. „Do you think you´ll be sick again?“, Owen asked caringly. Amelia shook her head. „You should drink something.“, Owen said and handed her a glass of water. She took a sip and leaned against Owen´s chest exhausted. „Are you feeling better?“, he asked after some minutes. „Yeah.“, Amelia answered and stood up slowly. She went to the bedroom with Owen, who brought her also some medicine against the nausea and the fever. „Thank you.“, she said while she was taking the pills. Then she laid down and closed her eyes. „Could you give me the red blanket?“, she asked half asleep. „Of course.“, Owen answered, took the blanket and spread it over her body. „Good night.“

[toevenexist]

Lights Pt. 15

BE SURE TO READ CHAPTER 14, ALSO POSTED TONIGHT. 

Here is the next part! part 16 won’t be with you till tomorrow :)

Please reblog and let me know your thoughts xxxx

MASTERPOST 

 Enjoy!

It wasn’t until the next evening that they saw any real development. 

The contractions breached the ten minute mark at about mid day. Before this things remains remarkably steady at contractions every twenty five to twenty minutes for most of the night, to then in the teens the morning, reaching ten minutes at exactly 12.02.

“Are you sure? Ten minutes? Are you sure you didn’t read it wrong last time?”

“No Amelia, if I had done that your last interval would have been noticeably wrong” Owen said, sitting down on the toilet seat beside the bath, where Amelia had been for the past hour. 

She nodded, closing her eyes, trying to steady her breathing following the contraction. “Okay, that’s good, that okay, that’s good, ten minutes” she said to herself, soothing her hands over her stomach. She turned her head and rest her chin on her shoulder, inhaling through her nose and exhaling through pouted lips. Owen watched her, biting his bottom lip.

“You’re doing so well Amelia” he told her, gripping his knees, chest aching with love and fear and worry, and appreciation. Amelia nodded gently opening her eyes and smiling tiredly at him. He smiled back, with so much love. “Will you get me something to wear? I’ll get out after my next one” she said softly, an air of calm gripping her.

Owen nodded, “what would you like?”

“Um, a vest top, and maybe some of your sweatpants?”

“Pants? Am I hearing you right?”

“As long as you don’t mind my waters breaking on them, don’t give me any of your favourites”

Owen smirked, “Are you sure you aren’t delirious?”

“Owen I am delirious, but delirious or not I can’t go to the hospital with my ass out” She said, voice husky with exhaustion, but she smiled, eyes glinting.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The electricity had been back on all day, and the signal was back on the TV. Rain still hammered heavily against the front windows, like the house were sitting in the middle of a road, facing oncoming traffic.

 At seven minutes Amelia had opened the window wide, to feel the rain charge against her hot skin, sighing at the relief of it. Owen had dabbed her dry.

They were using the TV as a radio, 70’s folk music rolling out from it, calming the babies. Amelia walked back and forth slowly, throwing her weight from one foot to the other. Owen sat on the couch, pretending to read, pretending not to watch her, being up and by her side each time she stooped over, arms pressed firmly to her stomach, and her back, she wailed breathlessly. 

Jilly sat apprehensively on the couch beside Owen, eyes following  Amelia’s movement. 

Owen watched his wife in awe, watching Amelia power through with so much strength, and so much determination. He felt helpless, but utterly enamoured.  

She’d stand still following each contraction and focus on the sensation of the movement of the babies, and the sound of the music, and she’d close her eyes, and sway softly from once side to the other, to calm the three of them, the babies and her.

At six minutes Owen began to join her, hold her and sway with her, and tears strung like beads along a string from both of their eyes.

 “Have a sit down Amelia, you’ve been walking about for the past half an hour, drink something?” Owen asked her and she nodded, moving to the couch. She sat down and immediately winced, shaking her head, fidgeting, “I can’t, it feels.. Weird… “ she said, shaking her head again, taking Owens hand and standing up.

 Owen looked down at her, then at the couch, leaning and pulling the back cushion off, throwing them on the floor. “Here, kneel on those, facing the couch, rest your arms and head on the couch” 

she did, dropping down, parting her legs so that her bump sat in between them, resting her face against the soft velvety cushion of the sofa. She closed her eyes and sighed.

“Is that okay?” Owen asked her, as he pushed the coffee table away and lowered down behind her. She groaned, clenching her fists, turning her face into the cushion. “Let it out Amelia, scream, shout, swear, let it out. It’ll feel better” he told her, pushing his thumbs into the small of her back, working them in circles. She let out a loud, pained, wail, crying out a lengthy “fuuuck,” and continued to moan out in short bursts. Owen looked at his watch; five minutes now, they needed to get going. He kept rubbing her back as the contraction continued its torment, but eyed the room, seeing his car keys on the coffee table, checking that neither of them had moved their bags from beside the door.

“Amelia… sweetie… we’re down to five minutes now, okay, so it’s time for us to head to the hospital” he explained, soothing his hands up to her shoulders, kneading there. 

She sighed, pushing herself to sit up, feeling the warmth of his chest against her back. She nodded, humming, clenching and then relaxing her hands against her stomach. She looked down at herself, gathering her strength before pushing herself up. Owen’s arms steadied her.

--------------------------

One contraction later and they were making their way the car, trying to beat the next one, but failing. They both knew they hadn’t been quick enough to beat it, slowing their last few steps towards the car, standing steadily in the rain.

 Amelia hid her face in the front of Owen’s rain coat and screamed through the contraction, hands clamped around his forearms. His comforting utterances were only for her, the rain created a bubble of sound proofing.

The contraction lasted sixty excruciating seconds, and the storm continued to stir the clouds above them, its loud rumbles startling the babies, causing them to stretch and dance. Amelia loosening grip indicated to Owen that the contraction had ended, and her gaze up at him, cheeks coated in tears or rain. “Ready?” he asked her, and she nodded, somehow managing a wide, and beautiful, smile.

------------------------------

The journey was uneventful, the roads were empty because of the storm, and Owen was careful.

 Amelia was grateful to be stepping from the car out into the car park of the hospital ER. Relieved to be standing up again, though she was urged into a wheelchair the moment she stepped into the building. 

She sank low in the chair, resting her head against its back. She endeavoured to ride out a contraction from the chair.  She twisted, reaching for one of Owen hands,

 “Owen, I, help me…” she manage to get out, thankfully he understood, pulling her up and holding her against him, rocking with her, rubbing her back. 

She hummed through the contraction, taking a sharp intake of breath every so often, “Breathe, breathe Amelia” Owen said, pulling her hair back, she looked up at him, mid contraction, a grimace twisting her features. “Breathe” he told her again, and she nodded frantically, nestling her head under his chin, steadying her breathing. Though with every breath she released a pained whine.

Owen screwed his eyes closed and bit his lip hard. Continuing to sway with her. “Its okay” he uttered, wanting to cry with her. “Its okay.” Amelia nodded gently against him, becoming quiet.

Alex interrupted the calm, greeting them, “hi, hey, so this is it?” he asked them, with a level and calm tone.

Owen smiled, “It is, Amelia’s feeling better standing during contractions right now so...”

“That’s okay, so you’re at five minute intervals?” Alex asked Amelia, taking one of her hands and walking with her down the hall. She nodded, “yeah, they’re coming on pretty strong” She said, holding onto Alex’s hand tightly, glancing back at Owen, who was pushing the wheelchair behind them.

“We’ll head up to OB okay, you sit if you need to” he said, leading them both into the elevator.

I’m going to be helping with everything, you’re main OB is in surgery, So I’ll be getting you all settled, and she’ll be with us as soon as she’s finished”.

“But you’ll be with us the whole time? When the babies get here? I want you with them” Amelia said, sounding slightly panicked. Owen moved around the wheelchair and stood close behind her. Alex nodded, “Amelia, I will be here every step of the way, heck I’ll come home and stay with them till they go to college” he said, grinning.

Amelia laughed, nodding, relieved. Another contraction took her by surprise and she cried out taking both of Owens hands in hers and leaning into him. She felt Alex’s hand’s on her stomach, pressing slightly, examining it. She ignored it, focusing on her breathing, listening to Owen’s voice.

The elevator stopped and they sat her down on the wheelchair, midway through the contraction, moving out of the elevator. Amelia gripped her arms of the chair and groaned loudly. She found herself in a room when she came back to awareness, Alex helped her up and Owen moved in behind her, walking with her to the bed. Amelia shook her head, “I don’t want to lie down” she told them.

A nurse came in pushing some monitors, stacked on top of one another, mounted on a rod with wheels. 

“Amelia I need you to lie down just for me to examine you, and to get a cannula put in, and to attach the monitors, to check the heart rates of the babies, and a monitor for your contractions, once that’s all done, you should be free to move around” Alex explained. 

Amelia eyed the monitors, then the nurse, and nodded, uttering “okay” holding Owen’s hand tighter. His other hand was pressed against the small of her back, guiding her towards the bed.

------------------------

“Would you like the nurse to check your dilation?” Alex asked her once she was lying on the bed, resting under a sheet, having taken off her lower half of clothing. Amelia shook her head, “no it’s okay, I’d rather you, you’re more likely to know if something is wrong” Amelia confessed her thoughts, resting her head back looking up to the ceiling. She placed her feet together and dropped her knees to the side under the blanket. 

“Wait… wait for the contraction to…” but the contraction interrupted her. She reached blindly for Owens hand and squeezed it, as she moaned. She turned her head and dug her chin into her shoulder, groaning through it, gritting her teeth.

“Could you go and grab the sonogram machine please, there’s one in the next room” Alex asked the nurse with a kind smile and a nod, before moving to Amelia’s side, just as the contraction past. “Okay?”

Amelia sighed, throwing one arm over her face, “yeah.”

Amelia kept her eyes covered for the examination, grimacing at the discomfort of it. It was over in no time and Alex snapped off his gloves.

 “Well you’re about three and a half centimetres, so you’re into active labour now, but it still may be some time, and your waters haven’t broken just yet, but I’m thinking they’ll go soon. You’ve had a show?” he asked, nodding, already knowing the answer. 

Amelia nodded ‘yes’. The nurse entered again then, pushing the sonogram machine with her. She kindly explained to Amelia what she was doing, all the while preparing her for the sonogram, and for the attachment of the monitors. She did it all speedily, in time for the monitors to be able to detail the heart rates of the babies and the contracting activity at her next contraction.

 Alex and the nurse both stood by and observed them all with keen and trained eyes. And to Amelia’s relief she found them both smiling once the contraction faded.

“Everything is looking great Amelia, you’re doing really well, the babies are calm and responding well to all the drama, so we have no cause for concern, just keep going, I’ll be back in a a little while, and I’ll be back if I’m needed” Alex told the pair, speaking with a calculated, and well practiced, calm that never failed. Amelia smiled, nodding, “Can I get up?” she asked him, eyes wide and hopeful.

“You can, but no stairs, or marathons, okay?” he said, grinning wider.

She chuckled, replying “I can make no promises” as Owen helped her to sit up.

“Just wait until after those babies are out.” Alex said, chuckling as he left the room. He ducked his head back in a second later, “Gas and air?” he asked Amelia, knowing that she wouldn’t want anything more.

“Please” she said,  Alex nodded to the nurse. Amelia turned to hang her legs over the side of the bed, the bed sheet spiraling around her nude lower half. Owen helped her slip the sweats back on and she stood up, holding Owens hands, resting her forehead against his chest.

The nurse wheeled over the gas and air and handed the mouth piece to Owen, not wanting to disturb Amelia, who was composing herself, eyes closed, against his chest, preparing for the next contraction. In moments, they were alone again.

“How are you feeling?” Owen thought to ask. Amelia looked up, meeting his gaze. She inhaled through her nose and smiled softly, “I’m tired, but I’m… excited… to see them” she said, clasping her hands at the back of his neck. Owen grinned, nodding, kissing her forehead, then the top of her head once she relaxed against him again.

She let out a guttural groan and gripped Owens shoulders, bending over slightly. Owen rubbed the top of her back and stooped with her, putting the mouthpiece of the gas and air to her lips. She opened her mouth and took it, taking it in one of her hands, breathing in deeply, and releasing a loud cry. Owen held her other hand tightly, and held on to her, keeping her up.

Slowly, as the contraction forged its path, Amelia turned side on to Owen, and leaned in to him. “I need to lie down, I need to lie down” she mumbled quickly, closing her eyes and fumbling helplessly to get back to the bed.

“Okay, it’s okay, calm Amelia” Owen said, pulling the monitors towards her before she disconnected from them. She leaned on the bed, with one hand denting the mattress, the other hand held the gas and air to her mouth.

Owen stood behind her and soothed his hands along her back, and around her sides, resting them between the thick elastic straps that held the foetal heart monitors in place. 

He felt her soften as the contraction melted away. Amelia gasped in relief, and dropped both hands onto the bed. “I need to lie down” she said, though she felt conflicted at the idea. Owen nodded frantically and took one of her hands, standing her up and turning her around so she could sit, and then lie down.

She lay on her side, facing the rain splattered windows. “Will you… turn the lights off and lie with me. I know I probably won’t be able to but, I want to sleep” She said, with a faint voice. Owen sped to turn the lights off, and then kicked off his shoes, moving the monitors and climbing in behind her. She reached for his hand and pulled it around her, holding it firm, kissing it, closing her eyes.

“The babies seem oblivious” Amelia spoke softly, as if the babies were already here, and were sleeping beside them.

“How so?” Owen asked her, she moved their hands to her bump in reply, revealing their strong, slow, turnings. “I don’t think they know what happening just yet” Amelia continued, eyes still shut. Owen smiled serenely and closed his eyes too, basking in the feeling.

LINK TO NEXT CHAPTER

Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts!

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[toevenexist]

Lights Pt. 13

HELLO HELLO HELLO. Here is chapter 13! so I think I’ll be closing this one up in a couple of chapters! And I’m also getting back to the Darkening! Sorry for my absence, I’m trying to get acclimatised to a new way of living right now, No longer a student and its fucking me over, so bear with me! 

I hope you like this, PLEASE REBLOG AND LET ME KNOW!

Here is a link to chapter 12 

Here is a link to my masterpost

Enjoy xxxx

“Addie’s coming to visit” Amelia said, dropping her phone onto her lap.

“Addison, really? Oh lovely” Mrs shepherd smiled genuinely, cupping her hand around Amelia’s knee and rubbing it.

“She’s mainly coming for a visit but she said she’d take a look at everything, just as a second pair of eyes” she said, looking up to Owen, finding his face tired and weathered.

“That’s great” Owen leant down and dropped a kiss against Amelia’s temple. She was sleepy, her limbs heavy against the soft hospital mattress.  They’d been set up in the hospital room for the whole day following Amelia’s appointment and all night. They were waiting on the OB’s rounds to see how things were looking.

Amelia lay on her side, a pillow between her knees, and one against her back, another under her bump. Owen had joked she’d taken the entire hospital’ supply. Wiring spread across the pillows, and across the mattress like roads on a map, from her bump, to the machines.

“She’ll be here tomorrow” Amelia uttered, reaching for Owens hand and pulling him to sit behind her on the bed. “Lie down with me O” she muttered, eyes flitting closed. Owen had slept in the chair beside her all night. Her mom had gone back to theirs, to feed and water Jilly, returning back in the morning.

Owen settled down behind Amelia and arranged himself around her, being careful to not dislodge any of the transducers from against her stomach. Mrs Shepherd watched in quiet awe, pleased to see her youngest daughter so well loved. She settled back in the chair and inhaled deeply, eyeing the monitor that indicated the contracting activity, steady and uneventful.

A nurse entered then, smiling sweetly, a bottle of something in her hand, a package in her other hand.

“Alright, I’ve spoken with your OB, she’ll be around in about twenty minutes to speak with you, but before then I’m to administer some progesterone, to hopefully stop your cervix from shortening.”

Mrs Shepherd shifted her chair away from the bed to give the nurse room to work.

“In the arm?” Amelia asked.

“We can do…” the nurse nodded. Pulling the syringe from the packet and inserting the needle into the bottle.  Owen dropped a kiss against Amelia’s scalp as he pulled up the sleeve of her hospital gown to expose her shoulder.

“Okay, Dr Shepherd, a sharp pinch, and then Owen with massage the spot, alright” the nurse nodded to Owen and he nodded sharply in reply.

“Okay” Amelia mumbled clenching her fist and closing her eyes, not wanting to see the needle.

She focused on the sensation of the babies, fidgeting and twisting inside her, and winced as it plunged into her arm. She gasped as it receded, breathing ’ow’ as a bandaid was placed over it and Owen’s hand began to massage the area.

“That’s great, all done, the doctor will be with you in a little while, just take it easy till then” The nurse said, discarding the needle into the sharps bin as she left.

“Alright?”

“That was sore, you do the next one” Amelia said, closing her eyes again, trying to derive some relief from Owen’s massage. “I will” Owen said, kissing her again.

“I want to go home”

“I think soon, you haven’t had any contractions, I’m thinking it’ll just be shots and bedrest”

There was a knock at the door, and all three of them glanced that way, eyes landing on Meredith, Alex and Maggie. They entered tentatively, with cautious but warm smiles.

“Hey, oh hi Mrs Shepherd” Mrs shepherd stood and greeted Meredith with a hug.

“How are you? How’s everything, the babies are alright?” Maggie said, approaching the bed.

Owen sat up slightly, resting his head on his hand, leaning on his elbow. “Both babies are big and healthy, Amelia may be going on bed rest however”

“My cervix is non-existent” Amelia muttered, rolling her eyes, sighing.

“Amelia, it’s not quite that bad” Owen retorted. Mrs Shepherd rolled her eyes too, Alex chuckled. Maggie sank down beside Amelia’s bed and placed her hands on her bump, giving it a kiss.

“Oh hello there everyone, hi Amelia, sorry for my absence yesterday. I’ve looked over everything, you’ve had no contractions, only braxton hicks,  and having checked your cervix again and found no change, I’m happy to send you home on modified bedrest. Meaning, you mustn’t be on your feet for longer than five minutes and just where necessary, bed to couch, couch to toilet… and you get the jist. Stay off your feet, lying down as much as possible, bed or couch, as long as you’re resting. No exercise, no lifting, no sex…” She smirked at the last one, looking around at her captive audience.

Amelia chortled at that, “No problem” she said. Yawning, rubbing her face with her hands.

“Contact me if anything changes, and I want you back here in a week, and then weekly from now on” She said, smiling, pursing her lips.

“Okay, thank you” Owen said, sitting up properly to shake the doctors hand.

“Wheelchair out of here, and here, this basically just sums up everything I’ve just said in more detail” She said, handing Owen a pamphlet, eyeing Amelia as she pushed herself up to sitting, eager to get going.

“Slow down Shepherd” Alex chuckled, stopping Amelia’s movements. She groaned and tipped her head back.

“Do you need any help to unhook from the monitors?” the OB questioned, knowing the answer before her question reached its end. Amelia had already started to untangle the wires. Owen shook his head, smiling.

“Amelia lie back, i’ll get them” Maggie said, directing Amelia back down onto the bed.

“I’ll meet you out front with the car in ten?” Mrs Shepherd said, standing up, feeling somewhat useless.

She and Amelia locked eyes and Amelia nodded, “Thank you mom” she said, with a smile.

“There’s a change of clothes there in the bag, I wasn’t sure what you would want so… well, I put a few options.”

“Mom, I’m sure they’re fine, thank you for your help” Amelia grunted her breathing at the end of her sentence as Maggie and Owen sat her up to unstrap an elastic band that was wrapped around her. Her mom nodded and left.

“So your mom is here…?” Meredith queeried, eyebrows raised quizzically. Amelia twisted her lips, nodding, letting Meredith take off the blood pressure cuff. “Thats new, I bet she was shocked”

“Oh she was, you would have loved it”

“Alright, here…” Maggie said, pulling a striped top from the bag and a pair of maternity jeans,

“That’s fine, is there a jumper or something?”

Owen chortled, stepping forward, catching sight of one of his flannel shirts. He pulled it out. “That’ll do perfectly” Amelia smirked taking hold of it and piling it atop of the clothes.

“We’ll stop by in a few days, give Owen a break. I’m off on thursday?”

“I’m off on friday” Maggie said, brushing Amelia’s shoulder. Amelia nodded, moaning softly as she threw her legs over the side of the bed. She sighed “okay” and smiled at the pair, and their pitiful expressions.  “I’m okay” she told them.

“Yeah well I don’t envy you, but you’re doing great” Maggie said.

“Okay, couch or bed?” Owen asked, guiding Amelia across the lounge. Jilly had her head buried in her toy box, quickly pulling out a bundle of socks she’d been given, bringing it over to the couple, bounding around them excitedly.

“Couch, but with more pillows” Amelia said, leaning into his side, wrapping an arm around the underside of her bump. “They’re starting to feel so much heavier in my pelvis” Amelia said, closing her eyes and letting Owen lower her down onto the couch.  She turned and put her feet up, leaning back into her maternity pillow.

“They’re running out of room in there” Owen said, smoothing his hand across the expanse of her bump.

“I don’t understand how I’m tired”

“Do you really not?”

“Okay well yeah, I do… but you know”

Owen watched her sigh and close her eyes, breathing deeply. She moved her hands from her bump as Owen pulled up her shirt. He ran his fingertips across the surface and then smiled, pressing his hands firmly against her, feeling the strong, slow, turnings of their babies. Amelia’s eyes fluttered open and she took in her husband with lidded eyes. They smiled, and Owen laughed in disbelief and stooped to press a firm kiss to her bump.

“I love you” Amelia said, reaching and running a hand through his hair. He held his lips against her bump, squeezing his eyes shut, feeling them burn with tears. He turned his head side on and pressed his cheek against her, inhaling her smell. “I love you” Owen said sitting and and walking his hands either side of her, hovering above her, kissing her lips, warm and giving.

Amelia’s kisses were slow and lethargic. Owen kissed her hard once more, “Have a sleep, I’ll wake you for lunch” he said, punctuating with one more kiss before pulling back, taking in her pale taught bump. Amelia fell into a slumber during the process of pulling her shirt down, only managing a quarter of the way. Owen sat at the end of the couch, still taking her in, a soft smile resting on his face. Mrs Shepherd stepped into the room from the kitchen then, silently hovering at the door, catching sight of Owen gazing, with so much love, at her daughter.

She cleared her throat, her smile widening slightly when she met Owen’s eyes. She moved forward and picked up the blanket that rested over the back of the couch, passing it to Owen and watching as he covered Amelia with it. In her sleep Amelia sighed and pushed it down until it only covered her legs.

“Would you like a coffee Owen?” her mom uttered softly. Owens eyes drifted up to her, and he pressed his lips, nodding his head.

The air felt too thick to Amelia when she drifted back to consciousness. She felt too hot and the air was heavy with moisture. She opened her eyes, the windows were open, sunlight staining the curtains and lurching in through the gaps. A light, warm breeze flowed through the room and Amelia groaned, blinking slowly, unimpressed with its lacking of any cooling qualities. She inhaled as deep as she could and moved a hand down to her exposed bump, palms shushing against the surface. She could hear voices drifting in from the kitchen, or maybe the garden. One of the babies turned inside her and Amelia shifted her pelvis, trying to find a way of lying that would make their movement less uncomfortable.

She heard a dragging against the carpet beside the sofa and froze, “Jilly?” she said, her voice coming out husked. Jilly quickly shifted up to sitting and rested her head on the couch cushion, sniffing loudly, nudging her head forward, kissing her wet cold nose against Amelia’s arm.

“Hey bub, what are you doing in here with me? I’m just sleeping. Hmm” Amelia reached and scratched her head. Jilly’s eyes drooped at the sensation.

“I’m thirsty Jilly, where is your dad? Is he in the garden?” Amelia asked, knowing where he was from the sound of his voice.  She looked down at herself and whined as another breeze swept in, inviting her outside. She lay contemplating whether to go or not, knowing she wasn’t supposed to move unnecessarily.

Pushing herself up, she decided she’d rather be outside in the sun, in hopes that the air wouldn’t be so humid. She sat up for a moment, feeling the carpet under her feet. Jilly jumped up immediately and sat beside her, looking to her with expectant and wide eyes. One of the babies, the one with their head pointing down, kicked up, their head pressing against her bladder. Amelia hummed, squeezing her eyes closed, she soothed her hands across her stomach. Jilly huffed, settling down beside her, resting her head in the tight space between her bump and her thighs.

The movement of one baby sparked the movement of the other and Amelia sighed, dropping her head back, moving one hand along Jilly’s back, plucking up the strength to stand.

“Right, I need to pee first” Amelia spoke, shifting to the edge of the sofa and slowly, unsteadily, standing, tightly gripping the arm of the couch to support herself. Jilly jumped down and walked slowly by her side. Amelia smirked at her, she’d become so clingy, choosing to stay at Amelia’s side over almost anything, often even food, which was her favourite thing.

Jilly stayed with Amelia the whole time, lying down on the bath mat as she used the toilet, sitting against the fridge in the kitchen as Amelia poured herself a glass of water. She’d casually get up and wander slowly along side her as Amelia waddled. It was Jilly’s arrival out onto the patio that announced Amelia’s presence to Owen and her mom, Jilly’s claws clattering against the tiles.

 They both eyed her and stood, “Amelia, what are you doing? you’re meant to be sitting down”

“Well I can’t magic myself onto the toilet, plus its too hot, why is it so hot?” Amelia replied, moving to the sunlounger letting her mom take her glass from her so that Owen could help her sit and then lie down. “The AC’s stopped working”

“What, a… why?”

“No idea, I called and they’re sending someone out here tomorrow”

“Tomorrow!? Damn” Amelia exhaled lengthily, shifting onto her side.  Owen stood up and moved the umbrella over to cast shade on Amelia.

“Mom, I’m sorry you aren’t having a more enjoyable visit, you really don’t have to stay”

“Oh Amelia, stop that, I’ll book my flight for a couple of weeks, like I said I would, and… and I’ll book a hotel, so I’m not… up in your business so much” she smiled, chuckling.

Amelia shook her head, “Mom, you can… “ she met Owen’s eye’s for confirmation, and found it, “You can stay here with us, I mean, we could use the helping hand”

“I’ll stay tonight and then Addison can use the bed, she’s a more helpful hand than me with her expertise” she said finally, folding her arms.

Amelia twisted her lips, knowing, with some regret, that she would rather Addison be at her home than her mom.

“Okay” Amelia said, closing her eyes, attempting to find a comfortable position.

“Jilly is obsessed with you” Owen declared, pulling a chair up beside Amelia. The dog had settled down beside her too, eyes up and around, watching the birds and the trees.

“She knows” Mrs shepherd said, smiling. Amelia just groaned, fidgeting.

She turned onto her back and sat up, supported by her her arms behind her.

“O will you sit the back of the chair up a little more please?” she said, tilting her head back, taking a deep breath. “I’m too hot, and big” she complained, as Owen sat up the chair back. She leaned back, bringing her knees up so her thighs brushed against her bump.

 “I’ll get you some things to help” her mom declared, standing.

“Something to speed up the pregnancy, and lower the temperature would we great” Amelia quipped, humming in delight when Owen moved behind her and pulled all of her hair back, reaching for the hair tie on her wrist.

“You are doing amazing Amelia”

Amelia remained quiet, she bit her inner lip, and breathed in through her nose. Owen wrapped the hair tie around her hair, and frowned, spanning the chair and sitting down on the edge of the lounger. Amelia avoided his eyes, biting her lip harder. She swallowed, arched her back slightly. Owen could see that her eyes were pooling with tears and he cupped her knee. “Amelia...”

He squeezed her knee and said her name again. She met his eyes and smiled sadly. A lock of her hair lifted from her forehead in the wind and danced. “Owen, I feel like I can’t do this. I can, I know I…. I just, I’m scared and, I’m so uncomfortable” her voice became raspy with emotion as she spoke, a few tears falling slowly.

“You’re over half way through, you got this, just order me around, I am your humble servant”

“So am I sweety, here” Amelia’s mom approached, carrying arm loads of stuff. Owen pulled Amelia’s maternity pillow from Mrs Shepherds arms and helped Amelia sit forward, sliding it in behind her.

Mrs Shepherd dropped all of the things down onto the chair, pulling a navy cotton dress from the pile.

“Here… I thought you’d be cooler in this” she said, holding it up. Amelia eyed it and nodded, bun bobbing on her head. She sat forward and pulled her shirt up, and over her head. Her mom slipped the dress on, smoothing it down her daughters back.  

“Alright, stand and we’ll get your pants off” her mom said, standing up straight. Amelia chuckled, taking both of Owen’s hands, “I never imagined a team effort between my husband and my mom trying to get my pants off” she said, stepping out of her trousers. They both laughed, helping Amelia to get comfortable again.

“Alright?” Owen asked, smiling down at her, eyes wandering about her figure. Amelia just nodded, preoccupied with getting Jilly settled on the ground beside her, atop a blanket. Her mom moved around the the back of the sun lounger and better arranged the the pillows. Amelia finally looked up, meeting Owen’s eyes. She took in his loving smile and smiled back, asking him “What?”

He shook his head, smile tightening. “It’s nothing, it’s... you just look beautiful, I haven’t seen you in that dress before.”

Amelia chuckled bashfully, feeling her mom’s hands on her shoulders, rubbing in sunblock. “Maggie bought me it, and… thank you” she said, reaching for his hand to hold for a moment.

“Amelia…” Amelia roused slowly from sleep. She felt soft fingertips trace lines on her face, around her ear. “Amelia… come back to me” the voice was warm and familiar, circling her increasing consciousness, dancing around her. She felt those same fingertips drawing patterns on her stomach and she shivered.

“Meelie...”

Amelia smiled, eyes still closed. “Addie” Amelia whispered. Addison’s smile widened and she ran her open hand along Amelia’s side.  It was early, early for Amelia.

Owen had been called in to work just as Addison had arrived and let her in, quietly guiding her across the house with a beaming smile, ushering her into the bedroom where Amelia was still sleeping.

Addie took a nap beside her for a while, and read an article on her phone, before she decided her friend had slept long enough.

Addie watched as Amelia slowly gained awareness. She opened her eyes and found Addison lying right beside her.

“Hi” Amelia whispered, smiling, eyes glittering with the reflection of the morning sun.

“Hey, you look adorable”

Amelia grimaced, shaking her head with a chuckle. “Because it’s you, i’ll allow that”

“Allow what? You do!”

“Ugh” Amelia grinned, stretching haphazardly where she lie.

“You are also huge, are you sure they got the due date correct”

“I mean I think so, but I guess you can tell me. I need to pee but I don’t want to move”

Addison just continued to smile, taking Amelia in, lying her hand against the bump, finding very slow, strong nudges.

“How was the journey? Why are you so early? Wait…” she shifted, perching up on her elbow, reaching for her phone. “What is the time?”

“9.30, but I got here an hour ago, just as your boo was leaving” Amelia chuckled at that,

“My boo… To the hospital?”

“Yeah he said he’d be back this afternoon.”

Amelia’s smile lingered and she closed her eyes, inhaling deep and blowing it out through pouted lips. Addison swept Amelia’s hair from her face and spoke, “you have a lovely house, and dog and husband, it’s all so delightfully ordinary”

Amelia laughed and took hold of Addison's hand, clutching it against her side.

“Will you help me up? Please”

“Of course” She said, rolling off of the bed and coming to stand at Amelia’s side.

“I’m so glad you’re here, I’m starting to get so bored, I don’t know what to do now I’m not working, and I’m so tired and hot, and so damn immovable. I do is sleep and watch crap on the TV” Amelia spoke breathlessly, squeezing both of Addison’s hands as she stood up.

“I’ll do my very best to entertain” Addison said, walking slowly with her to the bathroom.

“My mom is here” Amelia said, pulling down her shorts and dropping onto the toilet. Addison sat down on the edge of the tub,

“Wow, how’s that going?” she chuckled, analysing Amelia’s bump.

“Fine, it’s actually okay, we talked about everything, and she’s been staying here helping out... But she’s going to a hotel today, so you can stay”

“You talked about everything?” Addison’s brows raised.

“Pretty much Addie, I mean I didn’t go into many details but she knows everything, she knows about my unicorn baby” Amelia said, finishing up and heaving herself up. Addison watched her move to the sink, waiting for any sign that she needed assistance.

Amelia took in her complexion and sighed, shaking her head, “Jeez I look like crap, I look like a whale, and I feel like a whale. I’m scared that my upper body is just gonna absorb my legs” Amelia moaned, walking slowly from the bathroom. Addison followed her, laughing at Amelia, bending and running her hand along Jilly’s back.

“Amelia, stop where you are and go to the couch, I’ll get whatever you’re going to get” Addison said, lunging to catch up with Amelia at the kitchen door, stopping her with her hands on Amelia’s shoulders.

Amelia dropped her head, sighing, “I forgot for a second, I’m sorry”

“Amelia, you don’t need to apologise, it’s okay, just come and sit down, is your mom still here?”

“Yes” her mom answered, stepping out into the room, smiling, greeting Addison with a hug.

“It’s lovely to see you dear” She said, running her palms along Addison’s forearms.

Amelia’s pained gasp interrupted them and they both turned to her, finding her sitting with her hands pressed against her sides, and her face contorted.

“Amelia is it another braxton hicks?” her mom asked, moving to her. Addison dropped to her knees in front of Amelia and pushed her hand under her T-shirt, palpating the surface. “Ow” Amelia jolted and Addison felt a baby move sharply.

“Was that me pushing causing the pain?”

“No, it …” Amelia cut herself off trying to stand,

“Amelia, no, you are on bedrest, and this is a prime example of a moment you need to be lying down.” Her mom scolded her, sitting her down.

“No I need to stand, I just, they... Mom, no…”

“Amelia, just lie down, I’ll check you?” Addison helped Mrs Shepherd to guide Amelia down, and she relented with a sigh, surrounded by the two of the bossiest women in her life.

“I’m so sick of getting told what to do all of the damn time, I get it okay! It’s a braxton hicks, and…” She puffed, closing her eyes as the two women fussed around her, “transverse baby is turning” she continued. Addison nodded slowly, listening as Amelia’ panted her words.

Addison sat down beside Amelia’s legs on the couch, uttering “okay,” soothing her hand against Amelia’s lower back.

“I’ll get you some water” her mom told her.

“It’s too hot in here, god I can’t Addie, this is too much, why is this all so hard? My last pregnancy...”

Addison rubbed her back harder, pressing her lips together and inhaling steadily through her nose. “Your last pregnancy was different, your body is facing different demands, plus…” She put her hand against Amelia stomach, eyes still fixed to Amelia’s, “You have two in here.”

Amelia held her breath, looking up to the ceiling, trying to gather herself. Addison watched, rubbing Amelia’s stomach and her back.

“We can wait for this contraction to pass and then head outside? I’ll get some ice water, I’ll do your hair and paint your toenails” she suggested, smirking.

“Will you shave my legs? I haven’t been able to reach” Amelia wept, meeting Addison’s eyes. Addison just smiled wider, feeling a little teary herself. “Of course I can Amelia, now breathe, and try to relax, and soften all the muscles that you can.”

Amelia nodded, pursing her lips, bottom lip rolling slightly as she inhaled and consciously tried to relax the tense muscles.  

LINK TO NEXT CHAPTER

Thank you for reading! 

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[toevenexist]

Lights Pt. 14

So here it is, a little later than I said, sorry! I hope you enjoy it, the next few chapters are almost finished!!!! Please please reblog and let me know if you enjoyed it, and Any feedback!! 

Masterpost link

Chapter 13 link

Enjoy!

“It’s been raining for a week” Amelia said, speaking to the babies, briefly standing at the window of the lounge, her arms wrapped around her bump. She arched her back, trying to ease the pressure in her pelvis. 

One of the twins wiggled, and fidgeted, “No long now”, Owen came up behind her,  wrapping his arm around her and lifting her bump. She sighed, eyes dropping shut, leaning back against him. She relaxed, resting her hands atop of Owens hands.

 “36 weeks” Amelia muttered, dropping her head back onto Owen’s shoulder. The rain lashed so heavily against the window, that Amelia could almost feel it on her skin.

“You hungry?” Owen asked her, Amelia nodded, taking a slow inbreath. “Sit down, I’ll get you something.

“Could you get me a cold drink? It’s still too humid” Amelia said, holding Owen’s hand, letting him lead her across to the couch. She lowered slowly, grimacing at the discomfort of her body.

Lightning flashed and the couple looked to the window. Thunder rumbled only seconds later, cracking above them loudly. Amelia groaned, slow moving, relaxing back, kneading her hand into her side.

 “The babies don’t like the thunder?” Owen asked her loudly from the kitchen. She stroked Jilly who had just curled up at her side, frightened of the thunder too. Amelia just hummed, closing her eyes.

---------------------

“TV signal is gone” Amelia called out to Owen. She flicked through the channels, finding a blank screen on every one of them. She threw down the TV remote just as Owen came back in, a tall glass of still lemonade with ice tinkling away. “Can I just have some fruit?”

“Yeah” Owen said, disappearing into the Kitchen and reappearing a few minutes later with a bowl of fruit salad.

“Okay, give me your feet” Owen told her, sitting down beside her. She turned in her seat and pulled Jilly haphazardly with her. “Are we settled on names yet?”

“You know we need to see them first, we might pick names and they might not even suit them”

Owen chuckled rolling his eyes. “We could make a selection of names, put them all down somewhere and then try them all out” he suggested, rubbing her feet and taking her in, with her bowl sat atop her bump. She was wearing that blue cotton dress again, with a loose jersey top over it, sleeves pushed up to the elbows. Her hair was down, and messy, tucked behind both of her ears. “I thought we’d already done that? Ivy, Cecelia and Alma”

“We did, but don’t you want any more?”

“I don’t know, I mean….” She stopped, closing her eyes, the empty bowl shifted off of her bump. Owen looked to her, eyes widening. “Amelia, what is it?” Owen asked her, sitting up straight. Jilly started to pine, resting her head on Amelia’s bump. Her face screwed up, “Ow,” she held her hands to her stomach, feeling a searing ache wrap around her stomach, along her back.

“This… this feels” she began, becoming weepy. Owen ordered Jilly off of the couch and moved closer, placing his hands either side of her stomach.

 “It’s… is this a contraction Amelia? Are you in labour?”

Amelia bit her lip, a tear stringing from her eye. She quickly became breathless and moved to stand. “Owen… Owen… I can’t…. “ She stood and then groaned, bending over,  “I’m feel sick” She pouted, walking to the bookshelf, leaning on it.

Owen followed, smoothing his hand over her back. Looking around the room, trying to gather his thoughts. “Is it over?”

“Yeah” she nodded, “I just feel uncomfortable.” She said, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her jersey.

“I need the toilet, I… I’ll check for a show… Will you call the midwife?” She said, standing up straight, hands shaking as she grappled for things to hold and lean on, on her way to the toilet. Owen walked a step behind her, feeling a flush of adrenalin wash over him. He followed her all the way to the bathroom, where she stopped. “Owen, it’s okay, I’m alright, just go call the midwife, I’ll call you if I need you”

“You will call?”

She nodded, “You’ll leave the door open?” Amelia nodded again. Owen nodded, moving to leave. Stopping and turning back to her, leaning down and kissing her. She pulled him towards her and kissed him again, before gently pushing him away.

“I’ve had a show, no more contractions” Amelia said, slowly waddling back into the living room. Owen walked to her, relaying the information to the midwife. “Um, I don’t know, I’ll check now…” Owen said, backing away and disappearing from the room, returning with their thermometer.

 “Amelia, open” he said, She turned side on to the back of the couch and held on with one hand, opening her mouth, and closing it around the thermometer.

“No, she hasn’t” Owen replied to the person on the phone, “You haven’t had any more contractions?”

Amelia shook her head. Walking the length of the room, Owen met her half way and took the thermometre, “her temp is normal.” Owen said, nodding.  Amelia sat down briefly but changed her mind.

“Okay, So... “ Owen hung up and spoke softly to Amelia. “We just need to sit tight for now, wait for your contractions to get more regular”

Amelia nodded, finally stopping in the centre of the room, “It could be hours…“ 

She heaved, bending at the waist, reaching for Owen, “Ow, damn….” Owen was holding her immediately, scooping her arms up over his shoulders, she rest her head on his chest.

“Alright, alright, it’s okay, breathe” he encouraged her, slowly rubbing her back. She whined, shaking her head against him. “Owen… don’t leave me… don’t leave, I can’t do this on my own” She cried, scratching at his shoulders.

Owen frowned, shaking his head, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m here, I’m not leaving you” he told her, lifting her face up to look into her eyes. He smiled lovingly, shaking his head. The contraction slowly ceased and Amelia slumped against him.

Amelia smiled cautiously, sniffling, “I’m scared, Owen.” He pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“It’s going to be alright” he said, rubbing her back. She huffed., nodding, closing her eyes. “You want to try and sleep? Save your strength?”

Amelia nodded slowly, turning on the spot, “will you come with me?”  

“Of course”

The lights flickered with a crash of lightning and then turned off all together. The couple held eachother tighter. “Owen…” Amelia spoke tearfully. Darkness surrounded them and their sense of hearing amplified, prickling their skin at the sound of the rain.

“It’s okay, we’re okay, we have candles, the car has gas, our phones are charged” Owen said, doing his best to sound calm. He could hear her struggling to get her breath under control. They reached their bedroom and Owen sat her down, leaving her while he fetched candles and torches to illuminate the room.

When he had finally made enough light to see her, he found her on the bed in her underwear. She’d taken off her dress in protest of the heat and was now on her hands and knees, gently rocking side to side, the way she had done earlier in her pregnancy to ease her pelvic pain.

Owen moved to her, climbing carefully onto the bed beside her and placed his hands on her hips, kneading inwards towards her spine. She sighed and stopped her movement. “It’s too hot, and… they feel so heavy in my pelvis,”

“They’ll be here soon”

“It could be days” Amelia wept, dropping her head.

“You have got this Amelia…” He told her, moving his hands around her sides, to caress her bump. “I’ll get you a cold cloth, lie down, try to rest before the next contraction, alright”

“I’m gonna lie on top of the blankets” she said, sinking down, onto her side. Owen nodded, sprinting away.

--------------------

He brought the cloth back with a bowl of cool water held against his ribs. He sat down close to her and  pushed her hair back from her face. 

She opened her eyes in half moons and smiled at him. He brought the cloth to her forehead and dragged it gently around the side of her face and then the other. Her eyes closed at the sensation of it and she sighed. He dragged the cloth along her arms and across her chest, along her legs, and then finally in spiralling circles against her stomach. “Mmn feels nice” she sighed.

 Owen smiled tightly, taking her in with shining eyes. She was so full and so beautiful, all of her pale skin radiant under the glow of the candles. She curved her hand against her bare stomach and soothed it up and down, her hand so small and delicate against the swell of her bump. The curve morphed in shape slightly as one of the babies tried to stretch their legs.

The rain continued driving down outside. Lightning flashed like the flash of a camera, mother nature taking a photograph. Then moments later the sky would growl. One of the windows was open a crack, and a slither of a breeze crept in, cooling the moisture on Amelia’s skin, caressing her to sleep. Owen settled watchfully beside her, closing his eyes intermittently.

  He must have fallen asleep because the next he knew Amelia was calling his name, and his eyes opened to find her climbing out of bed, groaning, struggling to breathe through a painful contraction. She stopped at the wall, bending at the window and letting out a strangled cry. She sank to her knees, keeping her hands clutched tightly, white knuckled, to the window ledge. She rest her forehead against the wall and scrunched her eyes closed.

Owen jumped out to bed, dropping down behind her. “This fucking hurts… I…” she panted and let go of the window ledge, leaning back against Owen, taking hold of both of his hands. “I forgot how much this hurts, since the last… time” she said, and the feeling of Owen’s warm kisses into the crook of her neck, his hands in hers, holding her tightly, made her eyes grow wet. The contraction died down, leaving her to calm her breathing.

Owen let go of one of her hands and pulled a blanket from the bed, throwing it over her. “Thank you” she whispered, dropping her head back onto his shoulder. “What’s the time?”

Owen looked at his watch, “About twenty five minutes since your last one” he told her, bringing her hand up to his lips and soothing his other hand over her bump, his skin shushing against the fabric. 

He leaned against the side of the bed and she leaned against him, still squeezing his hand. He dotted a kiss to her cheek and told her “you’re okay” brushing back her hair as delicately and softly as he could, wanting her to feel calmed by it. 

“We’re okay” he whispered again, pushing his hand under the blanket and drawing gentle circles against her stomach. “We’re all okay” he told her and her grip loosened, her thumb pad moving back and forth against his skin. “Alright?”

She hummed, nodding. “This is scary”

“I know, I know… but I’m here with you, every step of the way” she nodded again, her grip pulsing around his hand just once. 

“Help me back into bed?” she asked his quietly, as if she didn’t want to disturb the rain song.

 He hummed yes and moved slowly, pulling her up with him. She held onto the blanket with one hand and held it against her chest. “Are you cold now?”

Amelia nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed, Owen moved to his closet in search of a shirt she’d like, and Amelia sat quietly, “I can’t believe two babies are going to make their way out of my vagina in the next few days… It’s too small” she said, half smirking, half pouting. Owen chuckled as he re-entered the room, eyes alight.

“Amelia, you know the process” he said, holding up one of his worn out T-shirts. She twisted her lips and lifted her arms so he could slip the shirt on.

“I do, but I’ve never had two big healthy babies come out of there before…”

Owen sat down beside her and smiled lopsidedly. “What if she can’t handle it?”

“She? You mean…?”

“My hooha, lady town… Will you still love me I don’t have a hooha?”

“Amelia are you serious? your… hooha! Will be fine, and even if… she… isn’t, I don’t give a damn… now, lie down”  Owen chuckled. Amelia smirked, staying put.

“I’m not tired now, can we go to the couch? We can find a twenty minute youtube show to time with my contractions, on my laptop, and eat something.”

“Alright… come on then” Owen said, taking both of her hands, “Do you want some pants?”

“Are you seriously asking me that?”

“Forgive me?!” he laughed, wrapping an arm around her.

“Wait” Amelia stopped him, just at the door of the nursery. She left his arms and walked slowly into the room, it only grew lighter when Owen came in behind her, carrying a torch that threw a yellowy golden light onto all the facing surfaces.

“Do we have everything ready?” Amelia said, standing between the cribs. Her voice trembled slightly as she took in the room, still somewhat afraid to hope. “We do... more than ready”

Amelia nodded. Continuing to nod as she looked around, smoothing the shirt against her stomach with one hand,  and pushing the other one into the small of her back. “Okay...okay” she muttered softly, nodding again, meeting Owen’s crystal blue’s through the fog of darkness.

“We’re ready Amelia” he assured her, reaching out his hand.

She took deep breath and took it.

LINK TO NEXT CHAPTER 

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[toevenexist]

Lights Pt. 12

HELLO, I can’t apologise enough for how late this is, and how absent I have been. My life has been laughably exhausting and busy. Anyway! Here is is! Chapter 12. Thank you to everyone who continues to read this! Please Please REBLOG and give me all the feedback! 

Masterpost

CHAPTER 11

Enjoy xxx

“Amelia? Are you okay? Where are you going?”

Owen peered through the darkness, making out Amelia slowly standing, pushing her hand into the small of her back. “I’m fine, just can’t sleep, I’m just gonna get some water” She soothed her hand around her bump as she spoke, trying to calm the movement of the babies. Owen moved to get up and Amelia held out her hand to stop him. “You sleep Owen, I’m okay.” She said, with half of her face lit by the light of a yellow street light.

Owen dropped back down, yawning, slowly relaxing, nodding before closing his eyes. Amelia stood still for a moment, scrunching her toes against the rug beneath her feet. Both of the babies stretched and danced inside her and she sighed, rubbing her bump.

Jilly walked alongside Amelia, overtaking her on the way to the kitchen.

“You want a treat Jilly, how about some toast? Wanna share with me?” Amelia uttered softly, padding across the kitchen. She turned on the light above the oven instead of the main one, and a warm orange glow coloured the room, painting one side of everything.

“Oh” Amelia gasped, closing her eyes tight. A braxton hicks contraction wrapped around her, and paired with the high activity of the babies, it hurt. She bent over, resting one arm on the kitchen counter, the other hand pressed firmly against the underside of her stomach. “Girls, please, just calm down for momma” she whimpered, wondering exactly how much more painful real labour with the twins would be.

“Amy?”

Amelia didn’t move, deciding that moving would make things worse. She breathed “hey”, puffing out an exhalation. Her mom hurried over, and placed her hands on Amelia’s back, kneading the heel of her palm into the taut muscles. It helped immediately and Amelia groaned, eyes watering, legs feeling like jelly. The pair of them waited in relative silence, Amelia breathed loudly, whimpering towards the two minute mark.

“Why isn’t it stopping?” Amelia whined.

“It will, does it definitely feel like braxton hicks?” Mrs Shepherd asked her, continuing her massage.

Amelia groaned, pausing to focus on the sensation. “I.. I think so… oh…” it continued. She felt one of her mom’s hands move around to press against her hardened stomach. “I think you should sit down? Maybe a change in position would help?”

“No, no…”

“Okay, well, squat then sweetie”

Amelia nodded, bending her knees and slowly sinking down to the ground. “It’s not stopping” Amelia whimpered, resting her head against the counter, sitting on her knees.

Jilly was getting energetic, confused by all the activity. She scooted up beside Amelia, and nuzzled her head into her lap, sniffling. “It’s okay, Jilly, s’okay.” Amelia mumbled, furrowing her brows. Her mom’s hand moved back to her bump again, feeling to see if she was still contracting.

“Mom, I… I need Owen” Amelia whimpered, rocking slowly, too distracted to notice her mother’s momentary expression of rejection.

She nodded sharply, muttering “alright… just, don’t try to move okay?” she said, standing up, standing beside Amelia with her hands on her until Amelia nodded ‘yes’.

“I need Owen” Amelia whispered, biting her lip. “Why isn’t it stopping!” she thought aloud as her mom hurried away to get Owen.

Owen roused from sleep quickly, frowning in confusion at the sight of Mrs Shepherd.

She inhaled quickly before speaking, “Amelia, is having a braxton hicks and it’s not stopping, she’s in the kitchen” she said, already moving out into the hallway.

Owen’s eyes widened and he leapt off of bed, grabbing a t-shirt as he went, slinging it over his head as he sped to the kitchen.

He found Amelia still sat on the kitchen floor, trying to keep her posture straight now, both of her hands either side of her bump. She sobbed as soon as she caught sight of him. “Owen, it.. Won’t stop and it… hurts, the babies are mo… moving so much” she wept, tears falling freely now.

“Okay, alright, its alright, let’s get you up and into the living room.” Owen crouched down beside her, wrapping an arm under hers and around her back. She nodded, gasping, letting her mom help her up from the other side.

Humming through the discomfort she let her head droop onto Owens shoulder, closing her eyes. “Alright, sit down” Amelia took hold of both his hands, slowly lowering onto the couch. Mrs Shepherd moved around the room, turning on a couple of lamps.

“I’ll get a pint of water, it could help” she said, standing at the end of the couch watching them before hurrying away..

Owen nodded, sitting down on the couch and pulling Amelia’s back against him. “Owen, why isn’t it stopping?”

“How long has it been?”

“Long…”

“It’s been about…” Mrs Shepherd passed Amelia the glass of water, looking at her watch. “Ten minutes”

Owen nodded, helping Amelia bring the glass to her lips, she drank roughly half, handing it back to her mom to put down. Owen ran his hands over the curve of her bump. “It’s okay, sometimes this can happen, as long as it ends soon”

“Owen…” Amelia sighed, lolling her head back into the crook of Owen’s neck. Amelia rose her knees, thighs brushing the underside of her bump. “Mrs Shepherd will you turn on the TV? A distraction might help” Owen asked, as he pulled up Amelia’s t-shirt. He traced his fingertips around her bare bump, hoping the pleasure of it would ease the tension. Amelia sighed, fidgeting her lower body. Mrs Shepherd turned on the TV and sped away again.

Amelia took short shallow breaths, hands on each of Owen’s knee’s gripping tight. “Breathe slower, breathe with me Amelia” Owen told her, uttering the words softly, into her ear. She nodded, calming a little as she focused on the rise and fall of his chest and attempted to mirror it.

“Where’s mom?” Amelia asked, looking for her with lidded eyes.

“Here” she said, coming back into sight, dwarfed by the couples duvet. “I thought you’d be more comfortable” she said, draping it over them. Owen smiled, and nodded ‘thank you.’

“Is it still going Amelia?” She asked her, sitting down on the armchair.

Amelia nodded, turning side on against Owen’s chest, tiredly eyeing the television. “Will you rub my back O?” she mumbled before exhaling lengthily. Owen’s hand was there before she even finished her breath. 

Mrs Shepherd sat on the edge of her seat, leaning her elbows on her knees. Her eyes skipped around the room. “It’s been fifteen minutes” she said, glancing down at her watch.

Owen held Amelia tighter as worry flooded him. And just as he was about to suggest they call someone, Amelia spoke, “Its…” Owen felt the tension suddenly loosen around her stomach. “It’s stopping.”

Owen sighed with relief too then, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Amelia sobbed softly, holding onto Owen’s arm. He kissed her again, utterring “okay” as he pulled the duvet up higher.

“Should you call someone?” Mrs Shepherd asked,

“We were told as long as she doesn’t have any more than 5 in an hour, or experience any other symptoms, we shouldn’t worry”

“What time is it?” Amelia’s voice was quiet and husky.

“Three a.m” her mom replied.

“It’s too late to call anyone now” Amelia said, closing her eyes momentarily before looking back to the TV.

“We have an appointment tomorrow, everything is fine”

Owen swept her hair back form her face, kissing her forehead. She upturned her face and lethargically pecked him on the lips. keeping her eyes closed. She rest her head against his chest, nestled under his chin.

“I’m going to get back to bed, okay, just.. just come and get me if you need me” Mrs Shepherd said, wrapping her arms around herself, adreniline wearing off, a chill sweeping in.

Owen nodded. “Thank you mom” Amelia spoke weakly, briefly opening her eyes.

Mrs Shepherd stooped, dropping a kiss to the top of Amelia’s head. “You’re doing amazing Amelia, I’m so proud of you…” She said, squeezing Amelia’s shoulder. Amelia smiled gently, but could barely open her eyes. “Goodnight Owen” Mrs Shepherd said, meeting Owen’s tired gaze. He nodded, “goodnight”, smiling warmly.

“Do you want to go back to bed hun?” Owen asked, holding Amelia tight. She shook her head, humming. “I don’t want to move… mmn the tv.” Owen understood her, sitting her up a little and moving them both down the couch, better arranging the pillows around them. Finally comfortable, they both sighed and relaxed into one another’s embrace. “How do people do this?” Amelia mumbled, barely moving her mouth.

“The same as you, one day at a time…”

She hummed, nuzzling into the duvet. The babies had both succumbed to sleep, finally providing Amelia with the rare chance of undisturbed sleep. A cooking show played almost mute, the TV casting a flickering light about the room. The box reflected in Owen’s and Amelia’s half closed eyes. Owen pressed another kiss to Amelia’s forehead, and another. The reality of their situation sweeping over him, that he was holding his family in his arms. He held her tighter, kissing her again, feeling the weight of Amelia against him, of their babies. He kissed her again.

“Owen…” Amelia mumbled, eyes opening and closing. Owen pressed another kiss into her hair and rearranged his arms, holding her firmly “Yeah”

“Love you” she sighed, focusing on the flickering light of the TV on the back of her eyelids.

Owen smile tightly, tearfully, whispering ‘I love you too’ against her scalp.

“Okay, Amelia…”

“Carina? Um… we were meant to be seeing...”

“I know, i’m covering, I hope this is okay?” Carina said, pursing her lips, looking between the pair, eyes landing on Mrs Shepherd.

“Er, sure that’s alright, this… Is my mom” Carina leant forward, hand out, “Good to meet you Mrs Shepherd, I’m Dr Deluca”

Mrs Shepherd nodded, smiling politely. “Right this way…” Carina indicated, moving along the hall.

“So you’re at thirty weeks, which puts you at seven and a half months, so you have a little way to go before these ladies are at what we consider to be full term. Now… as you can see, both ladies are looking very healthy… nothing to note, other than baby B,  lying transverse, she should hopefully turn in the next couple of weeks. Baby A is already turned, which is very good, though I imagine the nudges to the ribs aren’t fun, no?”

Amelia smiled, eyes glued to the screen, nodding. “The next couple of weeks you’ll notice they’ll stop moving so much, and wiggle  around a little more, nudge you in places as they’re running out of space”.

Mrs Shepherd peered at the screen, taking in every inch of it, smiling every so often. “They will really start to gain weight in the coming weeks, though they are very good sizes already, I think by 37-38 weeks you could be looking at high 6lbs” Carina continued, looking down at her notes.

All of their eyes widened at the news of the predicted babies weights, happy to hear that they would be healthy, big, babies, but worried for Amelia who had to carry them until then. “Now you say you’ve been having braxton hicks?”

“Um, yes…” Amelia cleared her throat, pulling her eyes away from the screen. “I had a fifteen minute one last night, but I haven’t been having any more than two or three an hour.”

Carina nodded as Amelia spoke, listening as she moved the transducer lower down Amelia’s stomach. “Okay, well I will check your cervix just now, to check for shortening but, it can just be the case sometimes.”

Amelia nodded, dropping her head back, eyes to the ceiling. Owen squeezed her hand and she turned to him. He smiled warmly, eyes bright. “Okay, Amelia, I don’t want to worry you, your cervix is a little shortened in comparison to what it was last noted in your notes okay. I’m going to check tranvaginally now, to get a better understanding... would you like some privacy?” Carina said, standing up, looking to Mrs Shepherd and to Owen.

Amelia’s eyes widened a little, looking to Owen. Mrs Shepherd noticed, stating, ‘I’ll just step out for a coffee, and to use the bathroom alright?”

Amelia nodded, smiling softly, nervously. Once the door closed behind her mother, Carina brought over a blanket and pulled the curtain around. “I’ll give you a couple of minutes to get settled,  you just need you bottoms off and then cover yourself with the blanket okay?” Carina spoke kindly, cupping Amelia’s knee.  

“Owen…” Amelia dropped her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, holding both of Owen’s hands. Owen saw the fear in her eyes, and smiled reassuringly.

“Sweetie, she only said a little shortened, okay… “ Amelia nodded, inhaling deeply. Beginning to take off her trousers.

“Okay Amelia, What I see here is that you cervix has shortened okay, from 4cm to 2.9. I want to keep you in for a little while to monitor the braxton hicks and run some tests to see if you’ve been having any contractions. Now I want you to know that this isn’t severe, we’ll need to put you on bed rest, perhaps even modified, which means you could still move around a little. Once we get the tests back we’ll know whether we need to put you on anything to stop the contracting” Carina said, covering Amelia and wheeling on her stool to her side. Amelia clenched her jaw, nodding. She squeezed Owen’s hand tighter.

“Okay, we’ll get you to a room, and get everything set up to monitor the braxton hicks, get some bloods, and then go from there”

“Okay…” Amelia said, struggling to find her words. She bit her lip, leaning on her hand to sit up. Owen stood up and pulled the blanket around her lower half to cover her, leaving an arm around her.

“I’ll put a wheelchair outside and meet you at the OB reception in five minutes” Carina spoke as she moved to the door, smiling back at the pair warmly, nodding before leaving.

“Owen, what if… what if they come…” Amelia stuttered tearily, bottom lip curling.

“They won’t, but if that were to happen, which it won’t, we’d be okay, we’d just have a harder fight to fight, but listen Amelia, you heard Carina, alright, it’s going to be okay”  

“But, Owen, I can’t bear this… if they….”

“Amelia, stop, listen, look at me” Her face tore him apart, tears strung from her eyes like beads down a thread. She sniffed, pressing her lips. Owen could see the frays of her composure retracting.

“We are okay, the babies are healthy, and safe… they’re still safe… we might just need to take things a little easier, and be more careful, that’s all… did you hear her before, they’re gonna be big healthy babies!” Owen said, dipping down to her height. Amelia nodded, smiling with him. She let out a breath, nodding again, “You’re right… it’s okay, its all okay…” she said, breathing lengthily. Looking down at her bump, covering it with her hands.

Owen sat down beside her and pulled her against him, she snaked her arms around him and sighed. “Our future babies better not be twins, this is too hard” She murmured, closing her eyes. Owen chuckled sadly.

“All this will just make the end result more brilliant” He said, pulling back to see her face. He dragged the pads of his thumbs across her cheeks, taking away her tears. She smiled, shaking her head, though she knew he was right.

LINK TO NEXT CHAPTER

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[jordan202]

My Boys: Beyond the Horizon - Chapter 19 (Finale)

Hey guys! After long months, we finally made it here! :) 

Thank you all SO much for your continue support and feedback with this story. It was probably the most challenging one I’ve written so far, not only because it had the most ongoing plots happening at once, but I think also for the level of depth in the different storylines.

Before we go further, I just have to add some details that are important for this chapter:

I AM adding a ‘read more’ tag and in advance, I am sorry if it can’t be seen from your mobile app, browser or whichever device you might be using

For those who might wonder, 30 degrees Fahrenheit is about -1 Celsius 

I added a picture of the sweater Robbie is wearing and the Plush Doll Megan gives as a present below the chapter in case anyone wants to see what the description was about

In the scene where Thomas and Kate are peeking out the window, the quote they are referring to is the EE Cummings quote I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart. It’s from the poem with the same name and it’s been a recurrent saying in the history of this couple

When I chose to do a Secret Santa, I challenged myself with NOT choosing who would be whose Santa. Instead, I used a list randomizer and made the order of that list the Secret Santa configuration. That challenged me to come up with the storylines for this chapter and actually think of the gifts they exchanged. 

Alright, I think that’s pretty much it!

As usually, previous chapters can be found HERE. Happy reading and thank you so much for sticking with me until the very end :) 

My Boys: Beyond the Horizon – Chapter Nineteen (Finale)

“So, who is your Secret Santa?”

“I am not telling you.”

Megan looked up to meet JD’s insistent eyes, seeing the shadow of amusement on his face.

“It’s not like I am participating in it, so it won’t ruin the surprise if you tell me,” he reasoned.

The girl stopped wiping the counter and sighed at the same time she playfully rolled her eyes. It was late afternoon and yet the two of them were held back in school after hours.

Earlier that week while quietly studying for a test in school, Megan had been given the scare of a lifetime when JD had on purpose lit up a couple of fireworks outside her window just to scare her. Enraged by his childish behavior and even more by his annoying unaffectedness when the girl had confronted him about it, Megan had then retaliated by tearing his math homework to pieces, hoping he would get mad. Instead, JD had laughed and teased her more and by the time a teacher had gotten a hold of them, Megan had already thrown a couple of whiteboard markers at him.

It was complicated for the girl to once again stand side by side with JD in front of the school Principal and explain why they had, not for the first time, gotten into a fight. This time around, none of them escaped punishment and therefore there they were tidying the school art studio after the classes were over.

“If you so much as think about throwing that paint in my direction you’re doomed,” Megan threatened him with fire in her eyes.

JD smiled wickedly and put the container back on the shelf after cleaning up. Over the past month, he and Megan had been spending a lot of time together, a big portion of which he devoted to annoying her. The breakup with Aaron hadn’t been easy on the girl and JD was happy to offer a distraction, not only because he cared about her but also because it bothered him to think she was possibly hurting over that guy.

School was about to go on winter break and over the past week, JD had closely followed as Megan organized her week to use that afternoon to buy her family’s Secret Santa present. Unfortunately for her, she now had to spend it in school instead.

“I won’t tell you because knowing you, you’re just going to end up spilling the beans just to get on my nerves,” Megan raised an eyebrow. “Besides, what are your plans for Christmas?” she asked looking at him. “I have asked you already but you still haven’t told me. Are you spending it with your grandma or are you flying back home to see your father?”

As usual, JD hesitated and avoided talking about his own life. But when Megan pushed him a little harder, he finally shared something about how he felt.

“I don’t know what I am doing yet,” the boy said after a deep breath. “I am not the biggest fan of Christmas.”

In times like that, Megan wondered what could have possibly happened in his past that made JD so closed off to the world. When they were together and he was relaxed and acting spontaneously, Megan would get a glimpse of his truest nature. JD was amusing, optimistic and naturally positive when he wasn’t paying attention to his manners. But whenever something threatened his balance, the boy immediately closed off and became skeptical and distant. She supposed only a lot of hurt could explain the way he functioned.

“Well, like I said, you’re welcome to spend it with my family if you want,” Megan told him. Lately, JD had been to her house a few times every week, first to work on their end of term music project but then it’d become a habit. He claimed it was easier for him to remember to do his homework if she was doing hers and since Megan actually had grown to enjoy his company, she actually invited him over sometimes.

“Aren’t all of your brothers going to be there?” JD asked with a frown. “All week, you haven’t shut up about the twins coming back to town. You should spend time with them. I’ll be fine.”

At the same time Megan tried not to push him, she wanted to make sure he was okay too. The thought of anyone spending Christmas alone devastated her. But knowing the little she did about JD’s history and imagining him all by himself at that huge house he shared with his grandma only made her feel extremely sad.

“You can see the Secret Santa gift exchange,” Megan tried to bargain, hoping he would be attracted by it. “I will tell you who mine is if you promise you’ll come.”

“If I come, I will figure out by myself and I won’t need you to tell me,” JD smirked at her while he resumed his work at the paint shelves.

“You’re absolutely annoying,” Megan informed him.

“I know,” he retorted with a smile. “That’s why you keep me around.”

.

Owen managed to balance two cups of hot latte in one hand as he collected the change back from the cashier with the other.

Making his way through the crowded halls in the airport lounge, he quickly spotted Amelia standing out next to a senior woman who seemed to be chatting with his wife.

“Thank you,” Amelia smiled at him when Owen handed her the hot beverage cup. After she delighted herself with its smell and took the first sip, she added while looking from her new friend to her husband, “Anne here was just telling me that she’s waiting for her son too.”

“Yes, he’s in the Dallas flight,” the older woman explained with a kind smile. “I haven’t seen him in over a year so it’ll be nice to have him for Christmas.”

“Oh, I understand completely... My twin boys go to school in the east coast and I see so little of them now that I feel like I am missing out on them growing up,” Amelia said with longing at the same time she felt Owen’s hand on her lower back. She looked up to meet his eyes and saw the way he was smiling at her with judging eyes. “What?” she asked with a furrowed brow.

Owen was about to explain that by the way Amelia was talking, it sounded like their sons were twelve years old but at that exact moment, two tall identical blonde guys walked out of the arrival zone, catching their attention.

When the senior lady next to Amelia spotted the twins walking in their direction, she was struck by the exact same thoughts as Owen. But once the petite woman whom she’d just met hugged both sons at the same time, even though they were virtually strangers, she supposed Amelia probably did think of those twins as her little boys.

“How was your flight?” Amelia asked Danny once she pulled apart enough to allow him to breathe.

“It was great, I slept the entire time,” he replied with a satisfied smile as he wrapped one arm around his mother’s shoulders and walked beside her.

“Robbie, what are you wearing?” Owen asked with widened eyes.

As they made it to the parking lot, everyone turned their eyes to see what Owen was talking about and Amelia couldn’t help laughing when she noticed the sweater her son had on. It was a knitted, navy blue with white polka dots piece that had a giant Yoda wearing a Santa hat on the front, right under the script the season to be jolly it is.

“You don’t like it?” Robbie asked with a contagious smile as he touched the fabric of his own clothes. “I think it’s awesome!”

“It would be more appropriate if it was your size,” Owen tactfully replied, noticing the tight fit around Robbie’s strong shoulders and arms. Even the sleeves didn’t make it all the way to his wrists. “It’s at least a couple of inches too short.”

“That’s what I told him at least half a dozen times,” Danny bickered as they got in the car.

“Why the hell are you wearing that?” Amelia asked once she got a closer look, not bothering to be as delicate as Owen with her words.

“It was a gift,” Robbie explained, apparently too happy to care about the way everyone was giving him a hard time about his choice of clothes. “Marianne knitted it for me.”

“Marianne?” Owen frowned. “Megan’s friend?” he looked at his son from the rearview mirror, the surprise stamped all over his face. “Why would Marianne send you a present?”

“Because I am awesome,” Robbie winked.

“Because the poor girl was somehow fooled into thinking he was awesome,” Danny pestered his brother with a teasing grin.

“You’re just jealous because your girlfriend doesn’t knit you a Yoda sweater,” Robbie bragged, flashing the horrendous piece of clothing that he seemed to be so proud of. Madison, Danny’s girlfriend, had also gone home from West Point to spend the holidays with her family, reason why she wasn’t with them this time.

“Oh, so Marianne is your girlfriend?” Amelia asked with curiosity, turning her head from the front seat to look at the twins.

“I don’t know,” Robbie shrugged, confused. “I mean, we’ve been talking for weeks now and I saw her the last time I was here.”

“Do you two talk every day?” Amelia couldn’t hide a smile. She wondered how much Megan knew about that situation she’d just found out about.

“Yeah, we do,” Robbie said with pretend cockiness. “I am going to a Christmas party with her tomorrow, which she invited me to, by the way,” he bragged. “That’s how awesome she thinks I am.”

“I miss Christmas parties,” Amelia said with a joyful sigh, thinking it had been a while since she didn’t attend one. Looking at her husband, she added, “do you remember that year when we were at Karev’s and Riggs made those eggnogs with the cheap rum that got everyone drunk and massively hungover?” Amelia laughed, thinking about it. Since she didn’t drink, she hadn’t fallen victim to it, but her husband had needed a full day to recover from the symptoms after merely a glass. “I don’t know what he put in that drink because everyone was acting like they were high or something.”

“What happened that night?” Danny asked with curiosity, supposing his mother’s confession came with an exciting tale.

“Thomas did,” Amelia smiled wickedly, laughing when she saw the look of censorship on her sons’ faces after her disappointing response. “Lucas was just a few months old, I was breastfeeding and I didn’t think that I’d get…”

“We don’t need the details, mom,” Robbie interrupted her with a scowl as Owen laughed in the driver’s seat.

“Yeah, let’s change the subject,” Danny proposed with lighthearted disposition. “I can’t wait to find out what I am getting from my Secret Santa,” he added, noticing his parents shared his excitement.

If Danny had looked to the side, he would have noticed the slightly panicked look on Robbie’s face as, at the mention of Secret Santa, the boy realized he’d forgotten at West Point the present he’d bought for his.

But as Owen drove through the streets both boys were so familiar with, Robbie tried to be objective and think of a plan. He could probably ask Marianne for her help in picking out a new gift. But judging by his family’s reaction to his new sweater, it preferably had to be something that did not involve Yoda or any other Star Wars character, he thought with an amused smile.

.

“How is he doing?”

Danny opened the takeout bag with burgers and fries as he sat down with Thomas and Kate to watch a movie. His eyes were pointed at Lucas, who was lying on the opposite side of the room completely distanced from everyone else. Danny noticed the headphones in his ear as his oldest brother distractedly typed on a laptop computer, apparently too bored to care to exchange two words with anyone.

When he turned back to face the couple, the answer was obvious Kate and Thomas’ sullen expressions.

“Yesterday, Megan told him he’s worse than the seventeen year olds in her class,” Thomas repeated, supposing that their sister had really meant it. “She’s lost her patience with him.”

“He hasn’t been sleeping at home much,” Kate confided. “I mean, I don’t officially live at the penthouse apartment but I feel like I spend more nights there than he does lately. And Tommy has at least a couple of night shifts a week, so if you consider I am not there when he isn’t…”

“Yeah, that’s probably not a good sign. Does he say where he’s been?”

“Does he need to?” Kate frowned, as if Danny was asking an absurd question. “Whoring around, of course.”

“You know what concerns me the most?” the twin raised an eyebrow, legitimately worried. When he felt like he had the couple’s full attention, Danny added, “there is a bag full of burgers and fries here and he hasn’t moved a muscle to come get it. That’s how I know he’s really, really not okay,” the boy frowned, looking at Lucas with inspective eyes as if to see whether or not he really was alive on the sofa in the other side of the living room. After flashing a large portion of fries, Danny tried one more time. “Luke, I have fries here,” he said in a higher voice, hoping to engage his brother in an interaction.

Lucas couldn’t hear him, but with the corner of his eyes, he sensed some movement around and turned his head to meet them. After staring for a few seconds, the athlete went back to ignoring the party of three and focused again on his computer.

“I told you he is not doing well,” Kate said with a conformed voice, but the worry was visible on her face. “He’s been insufferable for the past month.”

“Has anyone talked to him?” Danny inquired.

“We tried,” Thomas updated him. “Everyone did. He refuses to talk about it but we all know it has everything to do with Emily leaving.”

“So it’s worse than last time?” Danny asked right before taking a bite of his burger.

“It’s a lot worse,” Thomas confirmed with a headshake of disapproval right before doing the same.

.

Emily watched as a cold snowflake touched her nose and smiled for what felt like the first time in weeks.

Abandoning her resolve to take a cab home, the journalist opted for walking instead. It was wintertime in New York, which could only mean a chilly cold wind, but Emily didn’t mind. She was dressed up for the nasty weather and after a full day of being locked up in her office reviewing figures and checking data, she could use seeing some human interaction and being outdoors for a change.

They were only a couple of days from Christmas and the holiday spirit could be seen anywhere now. As Emily left the Wall Street Journal building on 6th Avenue, she found herself unwilling to go back to her apartment. There wasn’t anything slightly invitational about returning to the solitude of her place.

If on one hand, Emily was feeling great about taking charge of her life and reaffirming to herself that she was more than able to be on her own, she was also very aware that things that in the past were an infinite source of happiness such as her job and her career now weren’t able to make her feel as fulfilled and joyful anymore.

Emily still adored what she did but every day she went to bed feeling like something was missing. In the past, Peter’s presence had been able to distract her thoughts from it, or maybe she had indeed fooled herself to think he was going to fill that vacancy in her life and in her heart. But now that they weren’t together anymore, Emily couldn’t help but dread the idea that maybe the city she had come to love over the years somehow didn’t feel like home anymore.

Supposing that having dinner at one of her favorite restaurants would cheer her up, Emily made her way through the busy 45thstreet, watching as people hurried back and forth to make it to Grand Central Station. They were probably trying to get home for the holidays, Emily thought with a bittersweet smile. A lot of co-workers in her office had taken time off to return to their hometowns so they could be with their families. As the journalist entered the lobby of the cozy small restaurant, the maître who often welcomed her whenever Emily had dinner at the place looked up from the stand to meet her familiar hazel eyes.

“Welcome back, Miss Spencer. It’s good to see you. Do you have a reservation?”

“Hi. No, tonight I don’t. Would you have a table available?”

“Yes, for you I always do. Is anyone joining you tonight?”

“No,” Emily nodded, biting her lower lip to hide her reaction to the question. “Table for one, please.”

Once again, the stabbing sensation of loneliness hit Emily really hard but she refused to let it ruin the spark of hope that the Christmas atmosphere around was instilling in her. For the past few weeks, it had become really hard to come to terms with the fact she pretty much had no family left now, and no roots either.

Growing up, Emily had always felt like Seattle was never really her home and for the majority of the time she’d spent there, it hadn’t been. The journalist had projected in New York all her hopes and dreams of finding her place in the world someday and it was hard coming to terms with the realization that even after pursuing everything she’d established for herself and making it there, maybe she still didn’t feel quite at home.

So if Seattle wasn’t her home and New York wasn’t either, where did that leave her?

With those haunting thoughts consuming her, Emily went home after barely touching her food, despite the Bolognese sauce being her favorite. It was simply too depressing eating alone in a restaurant in Manhattan surrounded by thousands of people knowing that the only person she wanted to be near was miles and miles away.

Thinking about Lucas made Emily’s heart sink inside her chest and she wondered how he was doing. For the past weeks, he hadn’t picked up any of her calls and even though it saddened her, in a way she understood. After all, it had been hers the decision to go back to New York.

And no matter how Emily loved the city and what she had there, after the distraction of the day was gone once she was done with her job, the way she would feel her heart break every night before bed made her constantly wonder if that decision had really been the right one.

Lucas’ smile and comforting hug were everything she could wish for after a full day of work, but unfortunately, she would go back to an empty apartment.

The memories of the week she’d spent at his penthouse right after surgery assaulted Emily and she felt her throat clogging with the realization that those had probably been the happiest days she’d had in the past years. There was just something magical about being in an apartment knowing that at the end of the day, Lucas was coming home. Because somehow, with his presence, his charm and his humor, he was able to light up her surroundings and simply add meaning to everything. In a way that nothing else in her life seemed capable of right now.

The snow was falling in heavier flakes by the time Emily finally made it to her place. After dropping her purse and keys on the nearest counter, Emily proceeded to check the mail, unconsciously hoping for a card or envelope that might improve her mood.

Seeing there were only bills and a few folders mixed together, the journalist let out a heavy sigh and tried to control her thoughts from drifting back to her hometown.

She wondered what the Hunts would be doing at that time of the year and the thought warmed her heart. Now that both Lucas and Thomas were living in Seattle again, it was very likely they were spending Christmas together. Danny and Robbie were most likely flying in from West Point to spend the holidays at home, if they weren’t already there. The journalist smiled to think how happy Megan probably was to have all four of her brothers there with her.

Emily also thought about their parents and decided that the following day, she would mail them a card. In the present time it was considered an old fashioned thing to do, but there was something special about handwritten cards that Emily just couldn’t let go of. Owen and Amelia were both very special people to her and she cared about them very much. The girl could easily imagine how happy they must have been at the moment to have all five children spending Christmas with them and she knew that all the happiness in the world wasn’t enough to match what that family deserved. She wished them the best and would make sure to mail them her Christmas wishes.

After easily finding an elegant Hallmark card from a folder where she kept a few new ones, Emily wrote down a nice message to all seven of them and placed it on a beautiful green envelope. Belatedly realizing she didn’t have their address memorized, the journalist forced herself to stop thinking about Lucas as she made her way to her bedroom and dug into her closet looking for a box where she kept some of the things from her childhood and adolescence days.

Emily was originally looking for one of her old notebooks that she knew had phone numbers and addresses written down. She was pretty sure she had Lucas’ house address marked down there somewhere.

But it was a faded envelope with pen ink stained by what Emily remembered had been a tear shed inside an airplane that caught her eyes the moment she opened the box of memories to her past.

And it didn’t take Emily long to shed new tears.

There, in her hands, was the best link to her past she could ever hope for and the answer to the questions that had been haunting her for the past weeks.

The unmistakable scribbles of the seventeen-year-old Lucas had remained intact, well kept inside that rough envelope. Just like his message had remained the same, well kept inside Emily’s soft heart despite her rough shell.

It was as if the teenage version of Lucas had somehow seen years ahead, because the words he’d written in the past were able to comfort Emily in a way that nothing else had over the past weeks. And to provide her with an answer, a sense and hope, all together in the perfect combo only him was capable of delivering.

After paragraphs that had served to tell Emily how she’d transformed his life and the way he felt after what they’d experienced together, Lucas had gone on to add what, six years later, was everything that Emily needed to hear.

“...

So you go and be great in Yale. I’ll go my own way and who knows, maybe in a few years we’ll find ourselves across each other in an interview room table. Or maybe, I’ll come back from signing with a pro team and you’re going to be there to celebrate it with me. Truth is, I have no idea what the future holds for us and that’s scary. All I know is that you’re going to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted. And if you ever, ever feel like you’re running out of strength, no matter where in the world you are, just look back to Seattle and know that you’ll always have a home to come back to.

Because I’ll be your home. For as long as you want me to be.

Faithfully, devotedly and undeniably yours,

Lucas Hunt.”

Emily heard the sound of her own nervous laughter mixing with her tears and without the hesitation that had long accompanied her during the past half year, she got up and picked the first bag she found in her closet.

There were no more doubts about where her place in the world was anymore. And she was finally ready to go home.

.

“Alright, alright, let’s start…!” Amelia cheerfully said, raising her voice above the others so her kids and husband could be silent and pay attention to her.

They were gathered on the living room of their home, anxiously waiting for dinner on that Christmas Eve. But before they sat down to eat the delicious meal Owen and Megan had prepared together, it was traditional they exchanged their Secret Santa gifts, which usually came with a full round of teasing and bantering to make it extra special.

“Okay, so who wants to go first?” Amelia asked with a smile, gazing from the pile of presents that had been gathered under the tree to the cheerful eyes of her husband and children.

“Let’s just grab the first present and see the name on the tag,” Megan said with excitement, hurrying to pick up the wrapped box on the top of the pile when her mom accepted her suggestion. “This one is for you, Tommy.”

Thomas grinned as he received a solid black box with a couple of red and green ribbons and a Santa sticker attaching them together.

“What is this?” he asked with curiosity and enthusiasm before shaking the box and hearing a metallic sound coming from the inside. More intrigued, Thomas proceeded to unwrap the gift, surprised to find a small instrument that came with a flashing light attached to a few lenses. “An ophthalmoscope?” he asked with a mirthful smile, looking from his mother to his father as he wondered which one of the two was responsible for the present. “This is actually pretty cool,” Thomas cheered, thinking he probably hadn’t seen one of those since his med school rotations.

“Merry Christmas,” Amelia blew him a kiss from a distance, giving away that she was his Secret Santa. “You’re the third Shepherd to own that scope, so you better take good care of it,” the neurosurgeon smiled with a mix of pride and contentment. “Well, not technically a Shepherd, but you know… the blood runs in your veins.”

“What?” Thomas frowned in confusion, still fascinated by the object in his hand.

“That used to belong to your uncle Derek,” Amelia shared. It had been too long since her brother had died but even though she’d learned how to manage his absence, that time of year always brought back memories. “When I started my residency, he knew I wanted to become a neurosurgeon too so he passed it on to me,” Amelia explained the value of the object with a smile. “Now I am passing it onto you,” she looked into her son’s eyes, seeing how touched he was by her gesture. “My brother always talked about the demise of direct ophthalmoscopy and how properly examining a patient’s eyes seems to be a dying art for young surgeons. He showed me the importance of it and that instrument helped me learn and gain experience. So even though it’s old, it’s still functional and I think you’ll benefit a lot from it like I did,” Amelia got up and gave her son a kiss on the top of the head at the same time he put the object back on the box very carefully, as if it was as fragile as crystal.

“Thank you, mom. I loved it,” Thomas said with sincerity before giving her a hug.

“Awww,” Danny said with exaggerated emotion, clearly making fun of the scene. “Nice try, mom. You went for the recycled gift hoping it would be a sentimental moment,” he joked, making everyone laugh. “But it’s obvious it was just a cheap move. Tom, I bet she got that in a garage sale for two dollars,” the boy teased with good humor.

“It was a dollar and fifty, actually,” Owen added to the provocation, soon after receiving a scowl from his wife and giving her a hug in retaliation.

“Who’s next?” Amelia asked when all laughter had already subsided.

“This one is for you, smartass,” Megan said, giving a larger package to Danny.

Danny eagerly unwrapped the box like a little boy would, tearing the paper apart completely until he found the newest model of a musical instrument he wanted.

“It’s the new Fender bass guitar?” Danny’s eyes were wide with a mix of disbelief and excitement as he ran his eyes through each member of the family, scanning who could be responsible for the gift. “Seriously, you guys didn’t!”

“I did,” Lucas replied with a solemn voice, but it was obvious in his eyes that he was very pleased with his brother’s positive reaction to the gift.

“How did you know I wanted it?” Danny asked, unable to hide his happiness.

Lucas discreetly pointed to Robbie with a wink.

“He might have let it slip that you were saving to buy one of those,” the athlete shared with amusement.

“See, mom, that’s how you don’t do cheap,” Danny teased Amelia one more time, getting a playful eye roll from his mother.

As the gift exchange moved on, Robbie nervously bit the nails of his right hand. He had accidentally forgotten the present he had bought back in his university dorm and the fact everyone was exchanging nice, thoughtful gifts wasn’t helping his case at all.

At that point, his plan was very simple: he was going to sneakily steal one of the presents he knew his parents had bought for them from the large pile under the tree and later on, he would come clean once either his mother or father noticed it. As soon as he made it back to West Point, he could send the present through the mail and replace it.

But just as Megan handed out a beautifully wrapped box, the doorbell rang interrupting their game. The girl got up and went to get it, wondering if JD had at last decided to take up on her invitation. But when she opened the door, she was surprised to see a familiar feminine face standing on the doorway.

“Hey, Kate,” Megan welcomed her warmly. “Come on in.”

“Am I late for dinner?” Kate asked while unwrapping her scarf and following the girl inside.

“No, we’re still exchanging Secret Santa gifts,” Megan replied with an excited smile.

Kate joined the rest of the family in the living room and took a seat on the couch behind Thomas, who was sitting on the floor next to the coffee table. Megan then proceeded to give her father the present box she had been holding, revealing that she was his Secret Santa.

Owen was the only one who didn’t find his daughter’s joke funny when she gave him a pillbox containing heart medication and a mild tranquilizer, saying it was to prepare him for the next time she introduced him to a boyfriend. After that, the girl opened her own present to find out that her Secret Santa that year was Thomas. Robbie got a personalized army knife from Owen, which he found so awesome that for a moment it made him forget about his incident with the present he was supposed to give.

Right when Amelia had finished unwrapping her package and gave Danny a shower of kisses for the beautiful pair of earrings she’d gotten, the doorbell rang again. Everyone in the room quit laughing and talking at the same time they looked at each other, wondering who it could be, but once again it was Megan who went to get the door.

“You’re here.”

JD turned from the street to face the door and saw his own breath out in the cold air when he exhaled.

“Yeah, you invited me, so…” he replied a little awkwardly. His eyes met Megan’s and he couldn’t help smiling in return when he saw how happy she looked.

“Come in, you’re going to freeze out there,” she commanded with her typical bossy manner, reaching out to get his coat the moment he stepped inside.

JD wiped the few droplets of water from his hair before he turned in the direction of the living room and saw how many people were gathered there around a coffee table.

“What the hell, you really do have a lot of brothers.”

“I told you I did,” Megan replied with a proud smirk. Even though she’d told JD about the boys, he hadn’t really met them before. “Come on, we are almost done with Secret Santa.”

JD wasn’t sure if he was going to fit in with that many people, to whom he was pretty much a stranger, but when Megan pulled his arm, he let her guide him. As her brothers laughed at something one of them had said, Megan’s mother waved at him and JD saw in the sincerity of her smile that she wasn’t just being polite. The realization made him feel really welcome, so the boy settled for sitting quietly in a corner watching as Megan interacted with her family during the rest of their game so she could properly introduce him to the others once it was over.

Just as the girl had once again sat down to accommodate herself, the bell rang for the third time that night.

Seeing that his sister had gone all the way across the room, Robbie got up to go get the door. He was the only one who hadn’t given his present yet and this was a good opportunity for him to buy some time.

And just as Robbie wondered if more of Megan’s friends were to arrive for dinner, he was in shock to see a pair of hazel eyes staring back at him on the other side of the door.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Emily Spencer, actually,” the girl playfully corrected him with a sheepish smile, nervously trying to control her feelings.

Emily had flown from New York without a clue of whether or not Lucas would agree to see her. It was Christmas Eve and she was aware he was spending it with his family as he always did. The journalist didn’t want to interrupt anything but she couldn’t wait any longer to see him either.

Robbie laughed at her silly joke and his easy manners made Emily relax, even if just a little.

“Oh!” Robbie’s entire face transformed, as if he had just been hit by an epiphany. “Hey, Emily, I know it’s freezing outside and it’s probably extremely rude of me to ask this, but do you mind waiting here for just a second?” he raised a finger and smiled at her with such camaraderie that it made Emily confused. “I swear, your timing is the best…” the boy added with a marveled expression as he made his way back to the living room before waiting for an answer.

Robbie found his family in the exact same configuration as he’d left them. Looking at his oldest brother, he held his head high and acted as if his plot had been orchestrated all along instead of improvised.

“Okay, I think it’s pretty obvious I am your Secret Santa,” he gave Lucas a smug smile. “The best Secret Santa, by the way. You’ll see why in just a bit.”

“Robbie, what’s going on?” Owen asked, looking from his son to the hall. “Who’s at the door?”

“My present for you, Luke, is at the door,” Robbie answered with a mix of excitement and pride. “You can thank me later. Merry Christmas.”

Lucas raised an eyebrow, too intrigued, thinking he was in for another one of Robbie’s infamous pranks. Getting up, he went to the hall, expecting to find something that would most likely give him a scare or trick him.

But when he finally opened the front door, never in a million years would he have guessed the surprise he was in for.

The look of shock was so evident on Lucas’s face that it was up to Emily to say the first words.

“Hey,” she started trying her best to ignore the cold wind that insisted on blowing hard that night. The girl found that even after the first word, it was very difficult to come up with something to say, especially when all she wanted was to wrap her arms around Lucas’ neck, hold him tight and never let go. How stupid had she been to give up on him so easily. “I was just… I…” Emily noticed she wasn’t making any progress and shook her head in self-disapproval, deciding to change the approach. “How are you?”

Lucas still looked too surprised to function properly, so he took longer than usual to open his mouth and give her a proper response.

“What are you doing here?” the boy asked without really answering her question.

“Well, you weren’t answering any of my calls, so I came here to tell you a few things that I needed to tell you.”

The journalist saw the spark of interest in his eyes, despite his apparent resolve to look neutral.

During the long flight from New York to Seattle, Emily had rehearsed countless times everything she wanted and needed to say. But calmly coming up with what she wanted to tell him and actually standing in front of him and being confronted with everything that had happened – not just the day before but during those past months – were two completely different things.

“My mother died,” Emily only noticed her own voice was faltering because she heard herself speaking. Lucas’ expression softened immediately when he caught up the distress in her voice, which only served to mess with her emotions even more. “She died.”

“Yes, I know,” Lucas nodded as he looked deeply into her eyes, trying to understand what was going on. He could clearly see she was distressed but he still didn’t understand why she was at his door and what had led her there. “I am so sorry.”

Emily thanked him with a shy smile and wrapped her own arms around her body, as if she needed to contain herself not to give in to her emotions. So much had happened that she’d never properly grieved the loss of her mother. As usual, after a loss, she couldn’t afford to deal with her feelings and accept support because she’d taught herself that if she did that, things would just start crumbling around her. But now, Emily felt like either she learned how to let someone in for real or she was at risk for keeping everyone out all her life. And she didn’t want just anyone. She wanted that person to be Lucas.

“Is it too late for me to tell you that I love you?” Emily bit her lower lip, feeling her eyes burning as she kept looking into his, watching as he struggled to keep his resolve and couldn’t hide how her words affected him too. “That every night before I fall asleep, I lie awake in my bed for hours wondering why is it that I wasn’t brave enough to do what I was supposed to do?” Emily took a step forward and felt the first stinging tear rolling down her cheek. “Because I have to tell you about my mistake,” she said, sniffing as she desperately hoped for him to accept her apology, hold her and end that agony once for all. “I have to tell you how terribly sorry I am that I thought my life in New York would make me happier than being with you because having to make that stupid choice was my mistake to begin with… It should have never been a choice,” Emily couldn’t resist any longer and reached for his hand, holding it between hers. “Please, say something.”

Lucas hesitated, too moved by her words to function properly.

During the past month, he had fought an internal battle in which he forced himself not to think about Emily or suffer because of her. But that was also a battle he lost every day. She had left to New York claiming she needed to put herself first and even though rationally he understood why she’d had to do it, internally his heart ached that she hadn’t fought harder for them.

“How do I know you’re not just saying all that?” he asked, struggling with his instant desire to believe her. For weeks, Lucas had dreamt awake that this exact scene would happen. That Emily would come back and say she had realized she was wrong and that she wanted them to have a real shot at being together now that nothing stood in their way. But he had to guard his own heart, because he wasn’t sure he would survive another excruciating month like the one he’d just been through if she suddenly changed her mind. “How do I know you’re not just sad because it’s Christmas and you’re feeling alone and you’ve returned to your puppet?” he pulled his hand from between hers. “Because I am not your toy, Emily. I am not your doll that you can play with and use and then discard when you’re feeling fed up with.”

“That’s not how I feel about you, at all,” Emily cried out, desperate to make him believe her. “You said so yourself, remember? I could bounce back and forth all I wanted but I am always going to end up right here where I belong. With you,” she said emphatically, hoping he would believe her.

Lucas looked deeply into her eyes, wondering if he felt like she was telling the truth because she indeed was or because he desperately wanted to believe her.

“And how do I know you’re not going to change your mind and go back home?” he asked, hating to feel that insecure. But after Emily had left, it was only fair that he was allowed some kind of reassurance.

He expected her to grow defensive or even a little worked up. But instead, Emily smiled among her tears and pulled something out of her pocket.

“Because this is exactly what this is. It’s me coming home,” she said biting her lower lip as she handed an old handwritten letter to him and clung to his arms. “I am home now, Luke. I am here. And I am so sorry that it took me so long…!” the girl broke down crying as Lucas unwrapped the old page and recognized his own handwriting.

Once Lucas was done reading, he was finally reminded of the letter he’d written to her years in the past and without a second thought, he wrapped his arm around Emily and pulled her against his chest.

The athlete let the full impact of the moment sink in, finding it hard to believe that whatever was beyond their control had actually orchestrated to make them find their way to each other, just like they’d said it would happen at age seventeen. At that moment, Lucas was overtaken by an indescribable feeling of gratitude aimed at the universe.

“Damn it, Spencer, you always know how to convince me,” he joked but in reality his eyes were stinging with tears too. Pulling her closer, he kissed her head while Emily buried her face in his chest, crying tears of built-up emotions and also relief. “Why took you so long?” he asked playfully, rubbing her back in a soothing caress.

“I am so sorry that I left,” Emily sincerely said the moment she raised her head and looked into his eyes.

Lucas noticed how red the tip of her nose looked from the cold and smiled, anxious to get her rid of all that pain. He was done being sad and hurting. That belonged in the past now. From now on, they were going to be the happiest they’d been.

“Don’t be,” he replied, inspired. “You know… If you hadn’t left, maybe you’d spend a lifetime thinking about what you should do, what makes you happy... Now at least you think you know.”

“Now I am sure,” Emily corrected him, knowing that she’d never again make the mistake to leave his side.

“Because I don’t want you to quit your job for me,” Lucas said with consideration. “You know, when I said we should be together, I understand if you can’t move here. We can try, I can fly in and…”

Emily interrupted him with a kiss.

“You’re not asking me to quit my job,” she assured him. “I love my job but I love other jobs too,” Emily stated with certainty. The time she’d spent in Lucas’ penthouse during her recovery had introduced her to a whole new concept of working with the subject she loved so much, except that being a financial advisor for his friends was a lot more convenient because not only she could work from home, but also make up her own schedule instead of being bound to longer office hours. But that was just an idea. Emily didn’t have to decide any of that right now.

She’d gone to New York thinking she’d find the foundation of her life there. And everything had crumbled when she hadn’t.

Her foundation was right here now in Seattle and his presence made Emily feel more secure and happier than any job or career had ever been able to.

“Did you find your happy?” Lucas joked, making a reference to something Emily had said to him in their conversation right before her departure.

“I never lost it,” Emily rubbed her nose against his as she smiled against his lips. “I just had a little trouble figuring out that it’s been here all along,” she added just as Lucas wrapped his arms around her waist to seal that newfound reality with a kiss.

.

Propped up on the couch, Kate watched the couple outside with a frown on her head.

“Is that Emily?” she whispered at Thomas, encouraging him to come join her and peek outside.

His parents had gone to the kitchen to finish dinner and the rest of the family was too entertained with their new gifts to be actually paying any attention to what was happening outside. But it hadn’t slipped through Kate’s sharp vision.

The young doctor tried to adjust his sight to the terrible weather outside but ultimately saw his girlfriend had a point. It really seemed like Lucas was standing outside with a girl who looked exactly like Emily.

“Wow, if it’s her than Robbie definitely won Secret Santa.”

“Since when is it a competition?” Kate asked with good mood.

“Excuse me, have you just met my mother and my siblings to actually be asking that?” Thomas asked with lighthearted irony.

Kate rolled her eyes playfully, censoring him. But when she noticed the couple outside was kissing, she smiled with enchantment, absolutely happy to think that there was a chance Lucas and Emily might be finding their way to each other again.

“Look, I think they’re making up!”

“More like making out,” Thomas mumbled with a smirk, receiving a glare in response. “Seriously, though, if it is what it looks like then I couldn’t be happier for Luke. Imagine not putting up with his bad mood anymore. I love Christmas.”

Kate couldn’t censor him on that so she just smiled along.

“It makes me happy to see that they’re happy,” she confessed, making Thomas smile. Deep down, Kate was a romantic but she hardly ever let it show.

“It makes me happy to see that you’re happy,” he leaned over and kissed her on the shoulder before getting away from the window.

“I can totally relate to what they’re feeling right now,” Kate confessed, catching Thomas’ attention once again. “You know, with Emily being away, returning, and the two of them having to deal with a bunch of stuff only to figure out they want to be together,” she cited with a smile, knowing Thomas would understand what she was talking about.

“Oh yeah,” he said with a mischievous smile. “Add a couple of therapy sessions to that and they should be fine, then,” he said, teasing himself and the counseling he was getting for his Burnout disorder.

“You’re the worst ever at keeping things romantic,” Kate sighed hopelessly. “I am talking about love.”

“So am I,” Thomas provoked, knowing he was teasing her. “Emily and Lucas will get through this for the same reason you and I did when we had a crisis in our relationship.”

“And what is that?” Kate raised an eyebrow, challenging him. Hearing Thomas analyzing a situation from an emotional point of view was definitely a new one and she was intrigued enough to actually buy it.

“Well, for starters I bet that when she was gone she wasn’t fully gone, you know? Kind of like you with me,” Thomas smiled adorably, knowing he was about to impress Kate. “Remember what you said about taking me with you all the time?” he smirked, approaching her. “That’s what happened with Luke too. He was missing a piece and that is why he was so grumpy.”

“And now he is whole?” Kate tilted her head, hesitant to buy his charming wit.

“She carried his heart with her,” Thomas quoted, on purpose not speaking any names so Kate could decide if he was talking about her, Emily or both.

“I carried it in my heart,” Kate made the choice, completing the quote that had once and would forever be theirs. “And I am never without it.”

.

“I think it’s the fourth time in less than a minute that your dad glares at me,” JD confessed, throwing Megan an intrigued glance. “Should I be worried?”

“When it comes to my dad, you should always be worried,” Megan laughed, looking in her father’s direction and catching him in the act. They were about to have dinner and even though the surgeon was in the kitchen, he wouldn’t stop looking in his daughter’s direction. “But since he’s seen you around here before and never made a fuss I would say it has something to do with the gift I gave him for my Secret Santa.”

“What was it?” JD asked with a lighthearted smile.

“I made a silly joke to torment him about introducing him to a boyfriend and then you showed up for dinner and I think he’s seeing it all wrong,” Megan quickly clarified, belatedly realizing it felt uncomfortable to talk about that with him. “Anyway, I am glad you showed, by the way,” she quickly changed topics. “Did you give up going to Philadelphia to see your father?”

JD stared at the girl pensively.

“I am never going back there, Megan.”

His tone was so impersonal and so unaffected that it made Megan wonder what the hell could have happened in his past to instill such determined resolve.

“I suppose this time of year makes you think about your mom,” she attempted at a personal conversation, supposing it probably wouldn’t lead anywhere.

JD turned his head from the Christmas tree and looked at her, surprised by the thoughtful comment.

“Yeah, I guess,” he shrugged, caught off guard by her kindness. Maybe one day soon he would share with her that the real reason he didn’t care about the holiday was that his mother had suffered a tragic car accident exactly on Christmas Eve. But he wasn’t ready to talk about that just yet.

“Can I ask you something?” Megan said, looking like she was struggling to find the right words. “I mean, I don’t want you to get upset or anything because I believe we’re past that,” she smiled warmly. “I think you’re a reckless idiot, you think I am spoiled and bossy, but we’ve learned how to co-exist, right?” Megan asked with a grin, well aware that he knew as much as she did that it went beyond co-existing. They had both grown to deeply care about each other, but were just too stubborn to admit it out loud. “So I don’t want you to think I am doubting your character or anything like that,” she made sure to clarify it. “But I just need to ask you about a situation that I heard about once right when I first met you and when I confronted you about it, not only you didn’t deny it, you also said you did it. Now, I don’t want you to think that I believe in rumors, especially now that I know you better, but you said you did it, so I…”

“You’re the definition of beating about the bush, aren’t you?” JD responded to her earlier provocation with more teasing. “Just stop measuring your words and ask me already,” he indirectly gave her confirmation that she should ask whatever it was that she wanted to ask.

Megan took a deep breath and tried to phrase her question as better as possible.

“It’s about when you took a knife to school. That’s what you got you expelled from your previous school, wasn’t it?” Megan asked carefully. “When I asked you about this months ago you said you’d done it.”

“Oh, this is what you’re that worked up about?” JD scowled, nearly laughing at her exasperated expression. “You can relax, Megan, I didn’t try to kill or hurt anyone if that’s what you’re concerned about,” he found her outrage funny enough. “I did take a knife to school and it served to give me a bad reputation,” JD sighed. Usually, he refused to talk about the issue because not only he didn’t care what people thought, but the matter itself also enraged him. But since it was Megan, he would make an exception. For some reason, what she thought of him mattered. “Okay, so… it’s a long story and I will make it short, okay? It’s Christmas and I don’t want to ruin the mood.”

“You don’t like Christmas,” Megan raised an eyebrow.  

“But you do.”

“You don’t like me,” she reminded him with an adorable smile.

“That’s debatable,” JD gave in to the provocation and smiled back charmingly, unknowingly making Megan’s heart flutter. But before he could lose sense of what he was thinking or feeling, the boy focused on the conversation. “Okay, so… Back at my other school, people weren’t exactly nice,” JD started, not really digging up on the football feuds. “I have always liked football but I wasn’t very good at it when I was a kid. It wasn’t until I was like, fourteen that I started growing up and really felt that maybe I could play, so I applied harder,” he said. JD didn’t mention that it was around the same time he dropped studying music for the reasons he didn’t feel ready yet to share. “In my junior year, right before I came here, I had made it to Varsity football in my old school and a few of the guys didn’t like it so we got into a fight,” he summed it up, not mentioning how they had thrown provocations to his family in the mix. “The guy who played as Safety, the same position I play in, felt threatened and they started to really beat the shit out of me in practice with the hopes to intimidate me and things got more heated. So one day, after a nasty discussion, three of them said they would find me in the parking lot.”

Megan’s eye grew wide with horror.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked, shocked. “Did you take it to your coach? Or the school Principal? Your dad, I don’t know…”

“I did,” JD truthfully answered. His friends had also been backing him up but at the time, he felt like he couldn’t take any chances. “And for a while they backed me up but the situation carried on for a long time and these guys continued to threaten me. I feared for my safety because I knew the moment they caught me alone I was at risk for getting beaten up or something. So I hid a knife in my bag,” he confessed. “It wasn’t the smartest thing to do, I know that, but it was all I could think about to protect myself. And when the day came and I pulled it out, even though I never used it against anyone, I got expelled and the boys got away with it. No questions asked,” he shook his head in disapproval. “So yeah… I did take a knife to school. And it may not have been right. But I don’t regret it.”

Megan waited until he finished telling the story and processed it carefully. When she was done hearing it, all she could feel was relief. Reprimanding herself for ever doubting him, especially after seeing his good nature over the past few months, Megan grabbed his hand and forced JD to get up.

“Thank you for telling me the truth,” she said with honesty and affection before walking towards the Christmas tree and crouching down near it.

JD didn’t know how to respond to her comprehension, just as how he wasn’t quite sure why it touched him so much that she’d bothered enough to ask about a topic that was long forgotten without judging him. For some reason, Megan had kept that lingering doubt, which could only mean she cared enough to want to know and the realization pleased him very much.

“Wait, I know I have something for you here,” Megan confessed, digging through the presents under the tree in search of a specific one. “Ha, found it!” she got up with an excited smile as she handed him the small package.

JD seemed lost when she offered him the gift.

“You got me a present?” he asked, unable to believe it.

“Yeah,” Megan confirmed like it was the most ordinary thing in the world. “It’s Christmas, dummy. It’s what people do.”

“Yeah, but…” JD’s voice trailed off. He couldn’t carry on past that point because he wasn’t sure it would make any sense. To her or even to him.

Seeing him so surprised and at the same time so obviously moved by her simple gesture made Megan wonder when had it been the last time that JD had gotten a present from anyone he cared about.

For a boy who seemingly had anything a seventeen year old could ever want in terms of material things, it really came as a surprise to her that he would be so touched with her present.

“It’s nothing, really,” Megan shrugged, hoping she hadn’t made him uncomfortable. Thinking about him being alone at Christmas was already enough to devastate her. Now, thinking about him alone without anyone to exchange presents with or at least to give him a present was too much. “It’s not even pretty,” she said self-consciously as JD unwrapped the box.

The boy opened the gift to find a smiling object made out of plush that resembled a human organ.

“What’s this?” he asked, smiling at the pinkish colors and cute little smile on the object.

“It’s a rectum,” Megan said like it was obvious. JD frowned, obviously confused to apparently be holding a piece of intestine made out of plush. “You know… because you’re an ass,” Megan said with a half serious voice, finally making sense of it for him.

JD threw his head back, unable to hold a fit of laughter at the way she never failed to amuse him.

“I also got one for my mom but it’s a brain, not an ass,” she explained. “But when I saw this, I thought about you and I couldn’t help myself.”

When his laughter finally died down, JD found himself unable to stop staring at her.

“Thank you, Megan,” he couldn’t describe how much it meant to him that she’d actually bothered enough to get him a present. Even if it was an ass entirely made of plush. “I loved it,” he said with good mood. “You have no idea how badly I’ve been hoping for one of these,” JD playfully added.

“Just don’t go asking people if they want to see your rectum,” Megan smiled mischievously.

“Don’t give me ideas,” JD responded to her bantering with a charming smile.

As Megan tried to steal the plush from his hands, JD easily stopped her, which promptly initiated a quarrel. Amelia came into the living room to summon everyone to the dinner table, right around the same time Emily and Lucas finally made it inside, surprising everyone with the amazing good news that she was back in town and they were together again.

When everyone was about to take their seats at the table, Owen came striding from the kitchen and without a second glance, he walked past JD.

“Come with me.”

Since the rest of the family was already taking their seats at the table, only Megan and the boy were able to hear him. Megan was about to protest but before she could do it, she saw JD following her father in the direction of his study.

Over the past few years, Owen had grown an immense distaste for teenage boys, to the point of finding them absolutely insufferable and annoying, regardless of the fact that not long ago, he’d just raised four of them.

There was something in particular about this boy Megan had been hanging out with lately – who she’d assured him was only a friend, but Owen didn’t buy it – that made the surgeon restless. Like any other teenage guy, this one could be subdued and intimidated, but the way he resisted to let it show made Owen ponder whether he hated or admired that about the kid.

With other boys who’d been drooling over his daughter, all it’d taken was a hard look and their knees would become weak in a second. At the same time Owen liked how easily they all responded to his intimidation, he couldn’t help but feel like maybe they weren’t good enough to be around his daughter exactly because of it.

This boy, however, showed respect and didn’t seem to fool himself thinking he could measure forces with the surgeon, at the same time he was the first one who was actually capable of sustaining Owen’s ice cold glares without looking like he was urging to run in the opposite direction. He was a tough kid. And Owen just had to make sure he was the right kind of tough.

When he finally closed the door to the study on the bottom floor after them, he turned to face the teenager.

“What makes you think you’re good enough to be around my daughter?” Owen straightforwardly asked.

JD was surprised to find himself in that unexpected situation and was even more caught off guard by the question.

“I am probably not,” he replied with honesty, surprising the man in front of him.

“You’re not,” Owen affirmed with conviction. “You have a long, long road to prove that you could potentially be,” the surgeon added, speaking very seriously. “And be damned sure that I’ll be watching you every step of the way,” Owen glared at him. “Do you understand that?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Every time you so much as think you could be doing something that might hurt my daughter, you think long and hard before doing it,” Owen advised him, satisfied to be saying all he wanted to say. No one could accuse him of not warning the boy beforehand if something didn’t go right in the near future. “Because if you hurt her, you don’t want to know what I will do to you,” Owen stated calmly and very clearly.

His confidence in his speech was more intimidating than his presence and physical dominance. JD knew that, even if only subconsciously.

The teenage boy swallowed hard but nodded affirmatively, looking the man in the eye as he said the words. The teenager had no idea what the hell was going on, but he supposed Megan’s joke with her Secret Santa gift and his own presence at her house on Christmas Eve had triggered that reaction on her father.

“That being said,” Owen said. “Come on. We are going for a walk.”

Without waiting for a response, the trauma surgeon walked past the boy and reached for his coat on the hanger near the front door.

“Sir, it’s thirty degrees outside,” JD tried to reason while looking firmly into Owen’s eyes.

“It wasn’t an invitation,” Owen informed him and without waiting for a response, left the house, pretty much demanding that the boy did the same.

JD went to get his coat and without a second thought, hurried to catch up with the man. Owen walked fast on purpose, dictating the rhythm. He wasn’t about to make it any easier for the kid and the hardest part of that conversation was just about to begin.

.

“Where were you?” Amelia censored her husband with a frown when, twenty minutes later, he returned to the house. “We’ve been waiting for you guys to eat. Now everything is going to have to be heated again,” she complained.

“Oh, no, no, no one is waiting any longer,” Lucas protested, reaching out with his fork to finally get a bite off his plate.

“It’s good to see your appetite is back,” Danny commented with a smile.

“What’s going on?” Amelia scowled at Owen when her husband took a seat next to her at the table. “You disappeared.”

“I was taking care of something,” Owen assured her with a smile and gave her a kiss on the forehead before they finally changed a conversation to a lighter topic.

.

“Hey, Marianne!” Megan welcomed her friend with a wide smile. “I am so glad you could make it tonight!”

The girl returned Megan’s warm embrace and waved at JD from a distance, not really interested in having anything to do with him anymore. Truth was, she adored Megan but the real reason why she’d gone there that night was to see her brother.

“There you are,” Robbie excitedly welcomed her with a bear hug that was very typical of him. “You took too long. Are you hungry? We had dinner already but there’s plenty of food.”

“No, thank you, I am okay,” Marianne replied with a mesmerized smile, absolutely happy to be reunited with him. “Oh, by the way, I fixed your sweater,” she said with a hopeful expression, getting the object from her purse.

When Robbie had gone to her house wearing the sweater she’d knitted for him, it’d become obvious Marianne had underestimated his size and shape. Now that he was there, however, it was a lot easier to take his measures and properly add more fabric to the piece of clothing.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have,” Robbie said with a smile of gratitude, getting the Yoda knit from her hands and holding it like it was a precious thing. “Did I tell you how much I liked this? You’re the best,” he said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before proceeding to take off the light blue sweater he was wearing, obviously with the intention to put on Marianne’s present for him.

The girl couldn’t even disguise her reaction as Robbie stripped off his shirt. The once chubby young boy with a delicious load of baby fat that his mother loved to squeeze had grown into a fit, muscular West Point cadet and football player. His broad shoulders, strong arms and chest, and shaped abs invariably caught Marianne’s attention.

“Oh my God,” she took care not to look like she was drooling. “Did they Photoshop you in University?”

“I am going to take that as a compliment,” Robbie said with a smirk, well aware it was one.

“And there are like, two of you,” she frowned, looking from Robbie, who now had his Yoda sweater on to Danny, who was happily chatting with his brothers and their girlfriends in the next room. “How do people even tell you apart at West Point?” she asked with curiosity, noticing they had the exact same haircut and looked absolutely identical.

Robbie laughed. He got that question a lot.

“Well, for starters, the easiest way to tell is by watching us do things,” he explained.  “I am left handed and Danny is right handed. So that’s a quick way to spot who is who,” the boy listed. “I have a scar on my stomach that he doesn’t,” Robbie lifted his shirt, showing the telltale sign of his abdominal surgery from when he was thirteen. “I also only have a portion of my spleen and he has a whole one, but that you can’t tell just by looking at us,” he added with a teasing smile.

“I imagine you two together in class and how hard it must be for colleagues and professors to tell you apart,” Marianne commented with good mood as she sat beside Robbie on the nearest couch.

“We don’t take that many classes together, to be honest,” Robbie informed her. “As you know, I am getting a major in Mechanical Engineering. Danny studies American Politics and International Relations. The only classes we have together are the mandatory ones.”

“So, after school is over you’re going separate ways?” Marianne asked with a disappointed face, sad for him that he was probably going to be apart from his twin brother for the first time in his life.

“I guess, yeah,” Robbie shrugged. He tried not to think about it that much. “We’re still going to have to do our military service but since we are in different fields we’re probably not staying together.”

“How would that work?” Marianne asked, intimidated to hear about him speak of military service.

“Well… With his degree, Dan is probably going to be working with NATO as the natural diplomat he is or something like that,” Robbie smiled lightheartedly. “And with mine, I will probably be playing with Legos.”

“Very funny,” Marianne laughed, poking him. “I want to see you build me a Lego machine that makes me get to the east coast in no time to see you. How about you work on that.”

“Consider it done,” Robbie joked, loving how easily the conversation could flow with her.

“You really are an asshole,” Megan repeated, laughing at JD. “You let me think that you didn’t know anything about music for weeks, then you pull that stunt in class, and now this?” she asked, shaking her head in disbelief. JD had just played a song on Danny’s new bass guitar, absolutely impressing her.

“That makes me an asshole?” he replied with good humor. “Everything I do makes me an asshole to you,” he rolled his eyes playfully. “You sound like your dad.”

“Aren’t you going to tell me what he said to you?” Megan asked, not for the first time that evening.

“I’ve told you, I promised him I wouldn’t speak of it with anyone,” JD repeated, honoring his words. “Stop being such a brat asking me the same questions a hundred times.”

“Are you going to tell me how you learned how to play the guitar?” Megan leaned over, on purpose pestering him just because he’d asked her to stop repeating her questions. “Or the harmonica?” the girl widened her eyes with mirth. “Oh, I know! You’re going to tell me how you know Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice!”

JD laughed at her playful insistence. Somehow, Megan was adorable in everything she did.

“That’s for another time. Perhaps another story,” he proposed, looking into her eyes with warmth and contentment.

“You know what,” Megan started with a teasing grin, obviously setting him up. “From the very beginning – from the first moment I may almost say – of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain for the feelings of others, were such as to…”

“Oh, Jesus!” JD rolled his eyes at the way she was quoting Jane Austen to provoke him. How dumb had he been for first doing it to her. Now he was in for a lifetime or provocation.

“It’s like Jane Austen was describing you, you see?” Megan teased, her eyes sparkling with glee as she went on to tease him. She was absolutely determined to torment him and wasn’t about to stop any time soon. “I certainly have not the talent which some people possess of conversing easily with those I have not seen before. I cannot-“

Megan’s playful words were suddenly interrupted when, on an impulse, JD held her face between both his hands and shut her up with the touch of his lips to hers.

She felt the quick but soft brush of his kiss and couldn’t help closing her eyes and kissing him back.

For the first time in her life, Megan understood what people meant when they said they had butterflies in their stomach.

The kiss was quick enough that nobody saw them. The moment they pulled apart, JD appeared to be in as much in shock as she was.

“I was just…” his voice trailed off. He was obviously more affected by the kiss than he had expected to be. “That was just to shut you up, you know that, right?”

“Duh, yeah,” Megan gave him a pretend disdainful face, promptly agreeing with him.

“I just had to make you stop talking and that’s why I did it, that’s all,” he insisted, seeing in her eyes that she was as tense as he was.

“Why else would you do it, right?” Megan asked nervously. “But don’t ever do it again, idiot,” she scowled at him.

But when her face lit up with again with a mix of mischief and happiness, JD figured out he was in for a long night of teasing.

“May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment or are they result of previous study?”

“Oh, so you thought my kiss was pleasing,” JD counter attacked, putting her against the wall. “By the way, did you memorize the entire book? You’re starting to scare me.”

“Am I?” the girl smiled widely. “What a shame,” Megan quoted one final time before sticking out her tongue at him, absolutely blissful with how her Christmas had turned out to be. “For I dearly love to laugh.”

JD chuckled, unable to believe her. Deep down, he urged to repeat his impulsive gesture and kiss her again. But for the time, sitting next to her while engaged in that stupid little bantering they were always getting on with seemed like the ideal way to spend the best Christmas he’d had in a long time.

.

Hours later, when everyone was retiring to their beds and the visitors had already left, Owen found himself alone with his wife in the comfort of their bedroom.

“I have to say, Megan’s present to you was hilarious,” Owen commented as he put down his reading glasses and got ready for bed.

“The plush brain?” Amelia smiled with contentment, flashing the object that she’d taken to their bed. “I loved it too,” she said with honesty, studying the details of the toy with a happy expression. “But I have to say the best moment of the evening was Emily’s surprise arrival. Who would have thought?”

“I was surprised too,” Owen agreed.

“And now that it’s just us you can tell me,” Amelia sneakily slid on the bed after turning off her bedside lamp to snuggle next to her husband and her plush brain. “What were you doing with Megan’s friend outside right before dinner?”

Owen knew he was going to be asked about it at some point, but it didn’t mean he felt more or less inclined to answer the question.

“We just had a conversation, that’s all. I made it clear to him what the rules are,” the trauma surgeon tried not to make a fuss about it and kissed his wife’s head reassuringly. “I promise you I didn’t bully the kid or anything like that.”

“Yeah, but what were you talking with him about that you had to go outside in the cold?”

Owen tilted his head, pondering on the question.

“That’s a conversation that can only be had outside, in the cold,” he sneakily answered her, watching as Amelia couldn’t contain a heavy yawn. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?” Owen asked, amazed by her enchanting manners. After all that time, he found himself still unbelievably and hopelessly in love with his wife.

“No, how much?” Amelia asked with a large smile and eyes already closed.

“This much,” Owen teased, rubbing his lips against hers as he gently rolled over to her top. “Too much,” he said empathically, right before kissing her and making them forget everything prior to that moment.

.

Epilogue

After successfully starting a financial counseling company for athletes based in Seattle, Emily made enough money to pay Lucas back for the money he’d used to cover her mother’s hospital bull in less than two years.

He didn’t take her money and instead asked her to move in with him.

Emily said yes and donated the sum to help afford a scholarship in their old school, so that more kids from poor backgrounds like her could have a shot at actually getting a good quality education and a better future.

She named the grant after Lucas Hunt.

With Thomas’ and her parents’ support, Kate applied and was accepted in Grey Sloan’s Dermatology Residence Program in the following year.

Everyone took her change of heart really well.

Over time, even Kate learned how to accept that she really didn’t want to be a surgeon.

Thomas’s decreased his workload and took his counseling sessions very seriously. As a result, his second year in the surgical residency program was stellar, which helped skyrocket his reputation as a potential neurosurgery star.

Over the course of that year, Tom Koracick tried stealing him from Amelia three consecutive times, claiming even that the boy was named after him and that Amelia had a historical debt to be paid by sending him a neurosurgeon in the making.

In all three times, Koracick failed.

Danny broke up with Madison six months later after finding out she was cheating on him. It was his first heartbreak and Robbie took him out for his first night of drinking, which made Danny miss a test in school and nearly fail a subject.

After seeing how loyal his brother was, Danny realized he would do it all over again with no hesitation.

Despite that one flunked test, Danny graduated top of his class in West Point.

Upon their graduation, both boys were sent to serve in the same intelligence unit. Amelia still has nightmares about them being deployed.

Robbie flies in to see Marianne every chance he has. On weekends, they either play videogames, watch movie marathons or go out on geeky programs. She still knits him the ugliest sweaters that everyone has ever seen, but he wears each one proudly.

Robbie is absolutely sure he is the luckiest guy in the world to have such an amazing girlfriend.

Megan got into Harvard’s pre med program. She is the fourth Hunt in the family to do it and carries that with pride.

After finding out more about JD’s past and his relationship with music, the girl helped him pursue his truest passion. A year later, JD got into Juilliard. They see each other every week.

Megan and JD are still bickering when they are not celebrating each other’s victories. That makes up about fifty percent of the time.

Despite Megan’s abiding insistence, JD never broke his promise and didn’t reveal to her or anyone else the content of his conversation with her father out in the cold that Christmas Eve.

Owen and Amelia are the happiest they have ever been. Every day, they cherish how far their family has come. And not a day goes by when they take it for granted.

And it all started with the simple but meaningful and now solidified notion that they could rely on each other for absolutely everything.

Let me know if you need people. I am around.

And year after year, they were.

The end.

----

Marianne’s horrendous knitted sweater was based on this:

The Plush Dolls are actually real and I want them all:

---

thank you so much guys for making it all the way here. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this story nearly as much as I enjoyed writing it :) 

[toevenexist]

Lights Pt. 11

Hello! here is part 11! I hope you like it!. PLEASE REBLOG so our work can reach everyone who wants to read it!! And please let me know what you think, I appreciate everything you have to say!!  Thank you everyone for your continued support!! 

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“Amelia, why the hell didn’t you tell me you were pregnant, I mean I know that we haven’t been in communications for a while but this hardly counts as something small. Amelia…” Mrs Shepherd continued to ramble on, much in the way that Amelia usually did. However Amelia was silent, leaning heavily into Owen as he guided her through their lounge, unsure where to take her, to the couch or to bed.

Her eyes were closed, as if she were trying to block out her mother, and her free hand encircled her stomach. Nausea hung at the back of her throat, heavy on her chest. Her mother continued to ramble on, following them towards their bedroom.

Amelia inhaled and shook her head, thinking ‘please, please stop mom’. Her mom followed them all the way into their bedroom, and stood at the end of the bed, finally quieting to watch Owen helping her daughter onto the bed. Amelia finally saw the window to speak and sighed, “Mom… it’s more complicated… It’s” she sighed again, closing her eyes, rubbing her face with her hand.

Mrs Shepherd frowned, shaking her head in disbelief,  “Amelia it’s not, you should have...”

“Mom! Please… just… can we just…” Amelia looked up, eyes watering, “I just need a minute to… get my head, just…”

Her moms face softened, and she sank in her posture, scanning her eyes over Amelia. She nodded, tears in her own eyes. She met Owen’s gaze and suddenly felt horrible, having just yelled at her struggling daughter for five minutes. She nodded, watching Owen help Amelia sit up and position pillows around her back.

She stood still at the end of the bed, worry, and guilt morphing her face. “Alright” Owen uttered, brushing back Amelia’s hair, Amelia nodded,  reaching for his hand and squeezing it momentarily. Mrs Shepherd watched their interaction and felt guilt grip her tighter.

“I’ll be back in a bit” Owen said, glancing up at Mrs Shepherd before leaving.

Amelia sat with her head resting against the headboard, eyes closed, hands running slowly over her stomach, trying to calm the movements of the babies, who’d started kicking up a storm the moment she saw her mother. She felt her mother's eyes on her and opened hers, meeting her gaze. She stood awkwardly, arms wrapped around herself. Amelia took a deep breath, and pat the space next to her, tilting her head.

They sat in silence, Amelia continuing to breathe evenly, hands continuing her administrations of her bump. “You must be due soon, no?”

Amelia chuckled softly, closing her eyes again, “nope… I have another two or so months to go”

“Really? Wow” they fell silent again. Mrs Shepherd ran her eyes over Amelia and frowned, confused by her size, as Amelia plucked up the energy to talk to her.

“There’s two in here” She said, opening her eyes to catch her mother’s reaction.

“Twins, you’re having twins?” her tone rose, as did her brows.

Amelia smiled, settling her head back and closing her eyes again. Mrs Shepherd, peered down at her daughter’s stomach in awe.

“I…. I’m sorry Amelia” She started, becoming tense. Amelia’s smile faded, but she continued her even breaths, and her soothing hand motions. Her mother, watched her as she continued. “I was wrong, about you… getting married, I should have been there, I… seeing you with him, with Major Hunt”

“You can call him Owen”

“Owen, I’m sorry… I was wrong”

“It’s fine”

“No, it… it isn’t, please just let me make it up to you? To… to do that I need you to let me be in your life, please Amelia”

Amelia bit her bottom lip and squeezed her eyes shut harder, breathing becoming more erratic, she inhaled quickly and deeply, breathing even again. “Shhh now” she muttered to the babies, stilling her hands, pouting. “Mom, I… I don’t know… this is too much right now”

“Amelia, it’s simple you just…”

“No mom, it’s not, I can’t just forgive you just like that…. You missed something that…. That was important to me Mom, and I was on my own, with no family… and you just…. You just…. God damnit!” she yelled and curled over herself, clutching her stomach.

Mrs Shepherds eyes widened and she sat up, sitting on her knees, “Amelia… Amelia what is it…”

“No it’s… damn it” Amelia shook her head, closing her eyes. She fidgeted in her spot, trying to find a more comfortable position.

“Major Hu…. Owen!” Mrs Shepherd called out, leaning towards her daughter but stopping just beside her.

Owen ran in, brows furrowing, speeding to Amelia’s side, Jilly ran in with him, standing beside him, resting her chin on the mattress.

“Hey, hey, what is it? talk to me” Amelia shook her head, quickly grasping Owen’s hand and pushing it towards her lower spine. Owen sighed, and perched on the edge of the bed, nodding and understanding.

He knead into her muscles, looking up to Mrs Shepherd, taking in her worried expression. “She’s having a false contraction” he told her, frowning slightly.

Amelia leaned against Owen, bathing in the comfort of his presence beside her, breathing lengithly through pouted lips.   

Mrs Shepherd nodded, shifting backwards slightly, a tear stringing from her eye. “I’m sorry, I’ll… Amelia, I never meant to…” she struggled for words, shaking her head.

“Mom… don’t, It’s okay Mom, its...”

“Amelia, I think you should take a nap, they’re moving like crazy, and this day…” Owen uttered softly, meeting Amelia’s tired, teary gaze. Her contraction slowly ceased and she nodded, laying her hand over Owens where it rest against her stomach.

“Alright?”

“Okay…” she mumbled, inhaling again, as deep as her diminished lung capacity would allow for.

“Mrs Shepherd… would you like some tea, something to eat?” He said, standing up. Mrs Shepherd nodded sharply and shifted off of the bed. “Sure… I’ll see you in a bit?”

She said, pausing at the door, looking back at her daughter. Amelia simply nodded, closing her eyes and turning onto her side.

“So, Owen…. How… how did you and Amelia meet?”

“Um, we met through work… just kinda forming a connection over time, I was friends with Derek” Owen said, busying himself making tea and a sandwich. Mrs Shepherd nodded, clasping her hands in her lap. “So how long…”

“Listen, Mrs Shepherd, I know you love your daughter, and I know from what Amelia has told me that your relationship hasn’t always been so… peaceful, but… Amelia needs peaceful right now. Can… can you please just go about this… situation, in a way that’s not going to, to…”

“I get it, and yes, I… yes, you know, I think this has already been a lot… I’ll go find a hotel and come back tomorrow, will you be home” She said, standing up.

Owen’s posture sank, and he sighed, “No, I mean, yes, Amelia’s on leave… just at least have your tea first, and eat some food, Amelia will be feeling better once she’s woken up, and she won’t like it if you’ve left.”

Mrs Shepherd pursed her lips and nodded, glancing down at her feet. She shook her head, eyes welling with tears. “I don’t know what to do… to get her to forgive me.”

Owen frowned, bringing her the food and drink he’d prepared, lolling his head to indicate that they should move into the lounge.  They sat on the couch, “You hurt her, you just need to understand. This kind of…. thing, it just takes time”

Mrs Shepherd sighed sadly and took a bite of the sandwich.

“You need to have more faith in her”

“I do, Major... Owen, I do have faith in her”

“That was what stopped you from coming to the wedding, you thought she had relapsed, you can’t do that”

“You don’t understand… With Amy it’s…”

“No, I do… you can’t keep reminding her of all the times she’s made mistakes, not when she’s good, when she’s trying to move forward. She does it to herself all the time, that’s what causes her hesitance, and fear, she’s scared of making the same mistakes, she doesn’t need to be reminded. You’re her mother and now you just need to be there for her… that’s what she needs…. Okay, she needs to not feel alone”

Mrs Shepherd nodded, pressing her lips together. “You’re right… I don’t get to see her, very much,  so I just remember what she used to be like, not…”

Owen nodded, “I’m just going to check on her, you can… turn on the TV if you like”

Owen climbed, carefully, onto the bed, lying down facing Amelia. She opened her eyes as soon as he settled beside her. “Hey you…” he whispered, resting his hand against her bump, finding more stillness than he’d felt earlier. “And you two” he continued, “have you been able to sleep?”

Amelia shook her head softly, “but the rest has helped, I felt like everything was spinning… the babies were going crazy”

“They’re calmer now” Owen said, lifting up her shirt to rest skin against skin.

“I had a chat with your mom” Amelia groaned at this, closing her eyes. “She’s sorry.”

“I know… I know she is” Amelia said, turning her face towards the ceiling, closing her eyes.

“She knows what she’s done”

“I know….” she looked back to him, meeting his eyes.

Owen nodded, smiling a little, “You hungry?” he said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

 Amelia hummed, smirking. “Yes” She said, pulling his lips to hers, she kissed him hard.

 Owen pulled back to take a breath and chuckled. “For food Amelia, are you hungry for food? Your mom is just outside”

Amelia whined, “fine” flopping onto her back and shifting her legs over the side of the bed. “Sit me up husband” she ordered him, smiling, lying haphazardly with her arms and legs out in front of her.

“Yes your majesty…” he said, sitting up, pulling her with him.

“What ‘s my mom doing? Criticizing our decor, writing a report? Sending it back to my sisters?”

Owen chuckled, rolling his eyes, helping her stand. “She’s eating a damn sandwich Amelia”

Amelia nodded, holding his hand and pulling him to the closet, Owen frowned, “Amelia, why are you…”

“My legs feel like jelly, will you just stand there while I change?” she smirked, pulling her shirt up and over her head, her already bedraggled hair fluffed up further, “or do you have commitments other than watching me get naked then unnaked while not falling over?”

Owen grinned, shaking his head and leaning against the wall.  

“That’s it, yeah put it on… yeah right there” Owen quipped, smirking, eyes bright.

“Shut up Owen” she said, shaking her head, putting on her support belt, unbuttoning her pants.

“Oh yeah, pull down your trousers”

“Shut...up” She lifted one foot out of her pants and wobbled, reaching for the shelf, but Owen reached her before. She dropped her foot and sighed, leaning against Owen, “oh yeah, lean harder, that’s the spot” Owen teased. Amelia slapped his thigh, shaking her head.

“OH” he gasped, groaning sexually before chuckling.

“”OWEN!!” Amelia scorned him, standing up straight, glaring at him. Owen only smiled wider and kissed her, singing “Love you…”

“Yeah, love you too” she said, smiling lopsidedly, stepping out of her trousers, “Now, throw me those sweats, we need to get out there before she gives up on me again”

Owen sighed, passing them to her.

“Amelia… you both need to give each other a chance, if… if you want this to work”  

Amelia nodded slowly, taking the pants and a t-shirt out to the bedroom, sitting on the bed.

“I don’t want to give her a chance if she’s just going to…”

“You have to trust her, she’s your mother, and… you know, it’s not just you now, you have me, and you have our little ladies”

Amelia nodded again, pulling her t-shirt over her bump. She sat quietly for a moment, staring down. Owen moved to stand in front of her. “Would you help me put my pants on please? I can’t see or reach my feet” She passed them to him, fluttering her eyes.

He sank to his knees, speaking  “Yes me-lady” as he pulled each pant leg over her feet. She stood up, and tugged them up the rest of the way, stating “food” before walking past him out the door.

“Hey, mom”

Mrs Shepherd leapt up and span to face Amelia, “Hi, are you… you feeling better?”

Amelia smiled, taking a deep breath and moving around the sofa, placing her hands on her hips. “I am… thank you” Amelia nodded, looking down at herself.

“Good, good, sit down, please”

They sat at either side of the couch, facing one another.

“You’re such a tiny person, it’s odd to see you… so” she gestured with her hand.

Amelia smirked, cheeks dimpling, “so round, I know. It feels odd too sometimes.”

“You were always the smallest, even as a baby, not like your sisters, or Derek”

“Mom, I want to forgive you. Just… just promise me you won’t do this again?” Amelia blurted, done with small talk. Her question caused a pause.

“Oh Amelia, I promise” her eyes welled and she shifted forward. Amelia crossed her arms across her bump and held herself. Her mother spoke again, “I promise” she began to cry, and moved further towards Amelia, pausing with her arms raised.

Amelia nodded, tears stringing from her eyes at the motion. Mrs Shepherd wept and pulled her daughter into her arms, wrapping her up and holding her tight.

Amelia held her breath for a moment, “I had a baby in LA, and he died,” Her mother stopped breathing, frowning, her body became rigid, Amelia continued, “he, I held him and he lived for forty three minutes and he… he died, and so did his dad, we didn’t know I was pregnant, he… aspirated on his own vomit, I woke up and he was dead”

Her mother pulled back, and opened her mouth to speak, but Amelia continued, “And I had a brain tumour, we found out this year, it’s gone now, but… yeah”

Her mother continued to cry, covering her mouth with her hand.

Owen entered then, standing behind them. “We’re having twin girls” Amelia said, taking Owen’s hand. Mrs Shepherd pressed her lips together, eyes wide and wet. Amelia squeezed Owens hand.

“Mrs Shepherd have some of your tea… maybe” She nodded, turning in her seat as Owen ran around the couch to pass her the tea. “Owen will you get me some? Please” Amelia asked, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.

Owen nodded, brushing her shoulder. Mrs Shepherds hands shook, as she brought her mug to her lips.

“Mom, I know it’s a lot… but I’m here now, and I’m happy, and healthy”

“Amelia, why…” She stopped, leaning forward and placing the mug down, closing her eyes. “I’m so… You’re here” She nodded, turning then and pulling Amelia into her embrace again.

Amelia felt warmth build in her chest and the babies both increased their movement. She took her mother’s hand and placed it against her stomach, letting her feel the strong turnings. Amelia closed her eyes, inhaling, “you still wear the same perfume” Amelia uttered, smiling tearfully.

“It’s my favourite, you know that” Her mother replied, combing Amelia’s hair with her fingertips. “I love you so much Amy, so so much” Amelia nodded against her mothers chest,

“how long are you here?”

“I haven’t booked my return yet, I was hoping a couple of weeks, there’s a bed and breakfast nearby” she said, Amelia sat up.

“You can stay here tonight, if… you you want to”

Mrs Shepherd smiled, “I would love to.”  

LINK TO CHAPTER 12

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