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kierongillen · 6 years

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Writer Notes: The Wicked + The Divine Christmas Annual #1

Spoilers, obv.

There's a backbone of Specials which I consider essential to WicDiv's plot. This is one of the main reasons we've ended up putting the Specials trade into the schedule before the last trade in the series rather than after it – as fractally as WicDiv is structured, this is information you should know before the end rather than after it.

They also work off a weird time-switched aspect – so they're read at the time of publication (for single readers) and also at the latter point in the story (for trade readers). In other words, they're revealing different information and to different import depending on whether you read them as they're released or as they're collected.

Which is an interesting challenge.

The Christmas Annual is the first Special which doesn't work like this. Looking at the schedule, we thought it healthier to add an extra month to the gap between arcs. The next arc is six issues, as is the one after that. We decided to add another special, and then saw what would be fun to do.

This was a boon for me. The problem is never not having enough material, y'know? The difference between something I'd like to do and something that is essential I do is narrow. Jamie had the idea of going back to periods we skipped and showing some of their key moments. I initially kicked against it a little, but when the thing I was trying proved too hard to make work, it seemed the simplest thing to do for me, and seemed a cute gift to the fans in a year that's been pretty fucking brutal.

(That we rarely get happier than bittersweet speaks to me, really. All happiness is tinged with sadness. “I love you” is married to “and one day we will all be dead”.)

But it was also a fun time. We got a gang of our favourite people together and did a bunch of short stories. Most of all, I got to write a bunch of people I haven't written for a while. I've missed them.

How were the stories chosen? Rapidly! The main limitation was not choosing anything which would spoil anything in Imperial Phase: Part Two. The Specials are designed to be spoiler-free for any trade which isn't released when it's released. We also wanted to show a bunch of kissing and similar social activities, as for a book which has as much emotional and sexual stuff driving the characters, there's relatively little on panel.

I wrote 'em, showed them to the gang, and then we worked out who we could ask to draw them. I was expecting I would remove several of them, but they all ended up going in, with tweaks in some cases in the story's focus. In terms of the characters selected, I definitely paid attention to characters who had relatively little screen time – so, Lucifer, Inanna and Tara.

Jamie's Cover

Using a bought Photoshop filter, this actually a lot more work than Jamie was expecting. It is wonderful though. It is to my eternal regret we never actually arranged it as a Christmas Merchandise thing. This is a delight to me. Really, we're aware that Jamie doesn't do many playful covers, so this was an opportunity we grasped with both hands. For all the iconic drama, there's also a playfulness to WicDiv that doesn't always show up on the covers.

Kris Anka's Cover

It's a Christmas Annual in the mode of a British Annual – in that these are annuals released at Christmas rather than having Christmas as a major theme per se. Anyway, despite all that, Inanna and Baal in hot make-out beneath the mistletoe is an absolute joy. I am pleased we get to do this.

IFC

The main editorial note to Designer Sergio was “Tackier! Tackier!”

The photo was taken in North London cocktail bar “Every Cloud.” Jamie is probably drinking some manner of Old Fashioned. I think I'm drinking some kind of Buttered Rum-containing cocktail. Chrissy draped the only decorations she could find over our heads.

1-6

Kris Anka! Jen Bartel helped out on inks on this as well, due to time constraints. Kris is currently on a Marvel Exclusive, so we had to get permission to do this story. Marvel said yes, so thanks to them enormously.

Yes, if you examine the timeline, Valhalla was certainly erected quickly. And yes, “Erected quickly” is a major theme in this story.

It's one of the lighter stories in the issue – obviously delineating what we know about Baal to this moment says a lot, and the same for Inanna.

I tried to write the scripts to the artists, but I also was interested in leaving it open for them to express things in their own ways. Generally speaking, I let the artists choose how to show the characters in a sex scene, as I want to see their own interpretation. It was a delight to see Kris go as far as he did here.

We did wonder whether we'd be okay with showing hard cocks. We're told that hard cocks are fine, but ejaculation is the problematic limit. I'm glad it's not an issue. This is a hot scene, but it's primarily a romantic one.

I love what Matt is doing with the panel on page 5 – the pinks and purples of Inanna here.

Baals expression on the first panel is very funny, as is the confidence in panel 3 of it.

7-8-9-10

There's seven stories, but several were just two pages. We realised the best way to do it would be to group the shorter of the long ones with the short ones so all collaborators get 5-6 pages each. This makes it much easier with trade royalties down the line, and organising 5 artists (plus colourists and flatters) is a significantly easier one than organising 7 (and their associated collaborators).

This is the first of the stories coloured by Tamra Bonvillain. I've never worked with Tamra before, but we loved her work, approached her, and she said yes. Thanks for joining us on this journey.

The artist here is Rachael Stott, who is probably best known for her Doctor Who work, but is about to do Motherland for Vertigo with Si Spurrier, which looks excellent.

There was quite a lot of careful balloon work here, to try and guide the eye and provide the necessary exposition (or really, reminders – all this is building upon or just showing events that have been alluded to earlier.) The eye-guiding is key – for example, due to a minor quirk of the first two panels, the Shard is hidden by the column which means that the view in the second panel feels instantly wrong. We end up disguising the shard with the dialogue so it's far less noticeable.

This event is alluded to by Lucifer in issue 3 of WicDiv.

The penthouse is the one we see in issue 1, which I presume is rented by the Pantheon for their purposes.

Writing Lucifer after all this time was a pleasure. Well, pleasure may be the wrong word. She's herself, and she's always very able to show bits of herself. Lucifer says things that no one else in the cast does, which is obviously one of her huge problems.

Yes, the first panel of page 9 did make me think of an OBJECTION! style WicDiv Phoenix-Wright-esque game.

The panel is also a place where we really had to do the work to put this in continuity – the obvious assumption would be that Baal is pissed off about Lucifer sleeping with Sakhmet, which is only really a minor cause of WTF-ness.

That Lucifer explicitly fucked with Baal and Inanna was hinted at early in WicDiv and made explicit in WicDiv 23. Inanna didn't consider the relationship exclusive, as he doesn't see why anyone would automatically assume a romantic relationship is exclusive. Inanna's great weakness is not always realising that everyone is like him.

The “You're a bad person” ties off why Lucifer and Sakhmet never slept together many times, also mentioned in issue 3. Sakhmet, I suspect, just doesn't like the complications and drama. She is deeply averse to complications.

The last three panels are classic comedy steady-angle shots. That the sprinklers aren't visible led to adding an alarm sound at lettering, to avoid the possible assumption that Baal made it rain indoors or something.

Reading this I find myself thinking about Lucifer in the Special versus Lucifer in the Annual – in the sense that we're seeing her much more humanly, which is leaning into what makes her comic (and awful). The last three panels are not ones you could imagine in The Faust Act, as seen through Laura's star eyes. Nice fucked off expression in the last panel from Rachael.

11-12-13-14-15

Chynna Clugston Flores is just one of my indie comic crushes. Blue Monday is basically one of those key links between 90s and 00s comics. Bryan Lee O'Malley pitched Scott Pilgrim as Blue Monday meets Dragon Ball Z. We pitched Phonogram and Blue Monday meets Hellblazer. She's a wonder.

As such, writing for her was a dream, and I was explicitly writing for her. While this is much more rigid in terms of panel shapes than Chynna would write for herself (the steady angle on the two people in the front seat is very much me trying to write a sort of claustrophobic talking heads kind of set-up) but I'm really exploring a very Chynna type place.

I've been thinking of Dionysus as a “Umar” for a while. When thinking up Dio, the image of writer Umar Ditta leading the Thought Bubble dancefloor was definitely in my mind, and I thought it'd be fun if they share a name, despite being very different dudes. (Not least that Umar could bench Dionysus now.) I asked Umar, and he said yes, so Umar he is. His first comic Untethered has just come out, and is well worth your attention.

This is the second sort of story in the special. One is just showing some key things which impacted the rest of the book, which were usually sexy funtimes. The other was showing some key relationships in the pre-pantheon lives. We've said that Dio was a friend of Baph and Morrigan, but never actually showed what that meant. It was good to get it here.

For those studying the timeline, this is the same day as Hazel become Amaterasu. It would also be the same day Dio takes a photo of Morrigan, and Cameron sits in the tunnel waiting for Morrigan. Busy day!

If I call out my fave Chynna moments, we're going to be here forever. Cameron with his sign on the rain is a joy. Honestly, this is such an odd thing – it makes me imagine what a Blue Monday set in the Midlands would be like.

There was a panic when page 12 arrived and I thought that Chynna had (for some reason) reversed all the seating orders in the car and had the car riding on the wrong side of the road. This is obviously a disaster, because the only way this story works is the characters' speaking order is based upon where they're sitting. But then we realised that the page had been flipped in the dropbox for some reason. Phew.

The quote is from Young Avengers 13, which came out a week or two before this arrived. Yes, I know.

(The question who wrote YA13 in this universe, when Kieron Gillen's career ended with Phonogram: Rue Britannia, is open.)

Page 13 was designed to be a mood break of the lived-in autobio, and Chynna really goes for it, in terms of the leaves and the panel breaking. Not using techniques in the whole piece makes them especially meaningful when they turn up. Tamra also did wonders in the colouring, going for the spooky autumnal reds, teals and purples.

(Tamra and Matt basically split the issue near 50:50.)

This is definitely a more Morrigan way of publicising gigs rather than standing outside shitty clubs and passing out flyers.

The WHAT!? panel is everything I could have hoped for.

The “Oh god. He puns. Morrigan fucked a punner. A wet punner's in my car.” immediately made me feel that I'm trying to channel a Warren Ellis character.

The off-panel MOTHERFUCKER is also a delight.

16-17-18

Emma's one of my favourite people, but I haven't worked with her since a B-side in the second issue of Phonogram: The Singles Club, with a Kate Bush short story. (EDIT: Plus in the Young Avengers Afterparty, which I’d blanked. This is the second time that’s happened to an artist from that. Which, given the time period I was writing that, is unsurprising). So it's lovely to get back with her, and she does some of my favourite work in the Special. Do go and have a look at her Breaks, which she draws and co-writes.

When Tara has had so little panel time, trying to work out how to approach her is key – and Emma manages to find a place which is clearly her, but also informed by Tula's iconic take. Matt also brings us much of those choices to the page in the colours.

It's useful, as this story almost acts as a prequel to issue 13. It's essentially the first time Tara pitches what she wants to do to Ananke, a moment which is at least alluded to in 13.

I wrote the story originally as two pages – specifically, the last two pages. I talked about it with Editorial Assistant Katie, and she noted it's a shame we never actually see Tara happy ever. Which struck me as true, and a problem – at least in part this Special is about showing different sorts and times of happiness. So I added the first page, which is my best pitch for Tara at her most positive. This is the unspoken stuff that's under the surface in issue 13, and Tara talking about the drive is one of her main bits of happiness. I talk about how the cast are all me in different ways? Tara definitely includes the part of me which never feels better than after having written something I think is good. I've certainly done the “if get a disease which means I have six months to live, have I got time to finish writing WicDiv?” maths.

Much like issue 13, I wrote considerably more captions than are used on the first page. You write it like a diary entry and then edit to the core.

I always say that an artist can make the script their own, and that I try to write to the minimum number of panels. Of all the artists in the script, Emma's the one who added most panels. This looks great, and is very much a part of her style.

Quick call-out to Clayton in the second panel of page 17: that tiny string of notes positioned either side of those captions is beyond perfect.

The last page is all kinds of sad. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I'm pleased with how the masks work on the page.

19-20

Second Rachael story. She's an enormous Lucifer fan, so was very excited to do this.

This is as simple as the stories get, in terms of a tiny yet meaningful continuity insert. This was there already, but I felt underlining it and reminding people of it at this point in the narrative is meaningful for obvious reasons.

(I had things I wanted to do in Imperial Phase II which I never found space for – or when I did find space, felt off and wrong.)

Writing Laura captions again after all this time was definitely a thing which took a while to find again. But I liked it.

(Spangly New Thing has captions to the fore again, for various reasons, so them as a formalist element is certainly on my mind.)

21-22-23-24-25-26

This absolutely was formative Indie Crush mode. Carla Speed McNeil's Finder was one of my initial loves when I came into comics in the early 00s. It's just astounding stuff. I'd suggest starting with Mystery Story, I suspect, but there's two big omnibuses of it, and I'd recommend just getting them. She's continuing doing other Finder stories alongside her work elsewhere.

It was originally 5 pages, but Carla suggested an extra page. I'd deliberately left an extra page space in the issue, in case anyone wanted more space... and Carla grabbed it. Good work.

When writing this, I was thinking of Carla's storytelling... but I also realised that a part of Carla's storytelling is to warp and make her own. Seeing what she would do with my script was a big part. I wanted the Carla magic applied, and she did – the extra page is a big part of that.

Notice how Tamra uses the palettes to distinguish the two different settings. Eleanor in the dark and Hazel in the light seems pretty useful, right?

That Lucifer and Amaterasu were friends and knew each other were one of the elements of the background I never had a chance to really run with, for obvious reasons. In the same way as I wanted to do some Dio/Baph pre-scenes, doing a Lucifer/Amaterasu: The Early Years appealed.

H's fanart was mentioned in issue 15, I believe.

As much as it's a dual story, it's really more about Lucifer. Amaterasu may not even appear to really aware of how much she's been slighted in the story. Or maybe she is? It is Eleanor's perspective. This is also the first dialogue we've ever had as Eleanor, rather than Lucifer reporting Eleanor. The resentment and anger is so much cleaner, the saying the unsayable aspect with less glitter.

Hazel is right. Eleanor is mean.

Adding a page appealed for various reasons, but at least part of it was that it's the only in-story chance to see a Lucifer performance. There was an alternate cover in the first arc, but it's not the same – though it's probably the same performance. We've talked about her Brixton performances before, and this is there. This would be a gig that Laura saw, as previously referenced.

The last page (and final panel of page 5) is a take on a scene that's already on canon – specifically, the story as reported in the WicDiv Magazine Special.

The last-minute panic of the issue was Jamie realising we'd forgotten to have Amaterasu’s facepaint on her in the final panel, so that was a quick patch from Tamra. Phew.

The “I'm sorry” panel is A+.

As an example of the Carla Speed McNeil of it all, the last montage of shots is her addition, which brings a visual closure to the sequence.

27-28

Back with Emma Viceli, with a missing scene after issue 8. The actual core details were alluded to in issue 10, but this actually takes us there. If you remember, at this point Inanna and Baal are no longer in any way romantically involved, but fucking the best friend of someone you were with is almost always drama. The purple and red colouring seems to make that be the subtext there.

We checked Laura's age here repeatedly, to ensure she was 18 in these images. It would be actively illegal if we messed up.

Clearly my fave thing is the call back to issue 4's PLAY IT COOL gag.

This issue's structure came after all the art started coming in. It's a mix-tape curation – in terms of what's the best order to take people on a journey. Things like Kris' story being first seemed obvious – his was the alternative cover after all, featuring Inanna and Baal, which makes it a de facto lead story. That this story is furthest along in the timeline made it a suitable end, plus that we open with Inanna/Baal. The real thing is that it's a story which ends with something resembling a concluding beat. “This is going to be complicated” feels like something that ends an issue in the way that many of the stories don't. I suspect the only other credible option was Chynna's story, with Dio/Baph riding off down a motorway. What feels like it could be an ending? What feels like Closure?

IBC

The titles were all added in the last minute, when we realised the best way to actually discern which story was which for the credits was to actually give them a title.

SUMER LOVING was miscorrected to SUMMER LOVING at every stage of production, and had to be changed back every time. There is no love for Sumerian humour in the modern comic market place.

Anyway – off for the season now. The Imperial Phase II trade drops in January, followed by The Wicked + The Divine 1923 special in February and the new arc in March.

Thanks for reading.

#WicDiv #the wicked and the divine #Kris Anka #chynna clugston flores #carla speed mcneil #Rachael Stott #Emma Vieceli #tamra bonvillain #writer notes

115 notes · View notes

fahrenheit-shop · 3 years

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Yeah The Girls T Shirt

I like this I’m not I myself running shoes many times I was why girls so much as he’s a Yeah The Girls T Shirt huge eight you want be like because they attention you hate them so I totally get all that exists ashamed that the proceeds to get to take it as as bad as I as I was dreading that he would be it seemed like he was pretty quick to be able to be really great is very like his character is the one is not my favorite any that helps a lot really shines will see in yeah he was and you hate the first season so last two episodes is where he cameand helped or at Joyce my device house you have an in this season is his signature with yes me myself that how he will probably feel happier now you know they’ve been dusted seat have been spending a lot of time together this season Dustin is the only one who’s away from the main group of kids they overplay it if you I didn’t think they were okay a really people really like that season to those two caches was spending time together so we only got three am glad throughand Robin as they age a chance to know something is I was afraid it was going to get over use her sexiness it was small doses yes seasonal Ross just steadily been my each of his existence almost betterand better I first half of the season was a bit slow so when everything started everybody pull into the main plot okay okay the role the whole everything ready your date I watching you there is actually a strong will know in a game really is no you yeah well it’s they like said multiple times that they don’t look at stranger things they located SC1 to three with multiple episodes they look at stranger things oneand two streets of three big movies cut up into pieces so it’s an movies generally like they need to get there now will the characters get to the point of no return to find. And gave it to just talked to us Jessup read the letter S he said yes I see gave Vanessa back so she asked the city of course is Jessup replied in surprise is entirely your own business just let me know how I can contact you in case this means you can sunny very nice said Jessup I’m sure it will be good for you is stood up excited. Gracias por todo el apoyo a mi familia mi equipo y a todos vosotros los aficionados

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Erwin thoma and I know you ll love what we have to offer. And this cross. Sitting on the iron throne tearyand reminds them there are roughly 1 million people in King’s Landing if the hiking manage a Yeah The Girls T Shirt o add that many to his Army life as we know it will cease to exist with a very concerned look on his face John says we need to talk to your sister again she must understand we will need the golden company to help usand we may need protection behind those walls the right key finally John looks at both Jamieand Thierry Lena Stern says your sister is our only option in the following scene beyond great joy in a small group of men prepared ahead for the Blackwater Bay now that it’s beginning to get dark outside they had a good feeling the yarn fleet will be there since it wasn’t at the iron Islands nor did they come across it outand see all they need to do is slipand grab your aand get the hell out of there before any of your own’s men are alerted as fee onand his men walk across the beach Dragon stone they notice a shadowy figure sitting in one of their boats Fiona shocked when he recognizes who it is it’s the spider somehow various is there waiting for them Fiona somewhat confused because he knows vera should be in the north with the nurse they also take notice that there are no other boats in sight in various appears to be completely dry they have no idea how he has arrived on Dragon stone when fianc is what you doing here all vera says is I’m coming with you back in King’s Landing Khyberand meets with Circeand you’re on it tell them about some recent reports he’s been receiving through his little birds Khyberand tells them that the nurse or Gary ends fleet as a white harbor she has abandoned Dragon stone while they fight in the north her fleet is our only means of transporting her large force quickly they also remember that John said the Army of the dead do not swim Circe doesn’t want to allow John Danny to have a way to flee to the sea so Circe tells your own to take some of the wildfire to white harborand barn Danny’s entire fleet your own does agree to do this but not until after he spends another night with the Queen in the red keep back in the north we see several small boats heading down the white knife River we will focus on brand right as he opens his eyes after another series of visions Sam is sitting right next to him he is the first one task brain is everything okay brand had been out of it for quite some time in his hands are starting to Calais from the way he keeps gripping his chair brain says I’m fine but he doesn’t quite understand why he saw what he saw this time Sam says well what did you see maybe I can help you was of the making is he getting close to us again brain says no but then he looks at Gillyand he says I saw your son everyone on the boat looks a little Sam then brain says your son was cryingand he was surrounded by fire everyone on the boat is now concerned by the tone of brains voice Gilly wraps her arms tightly around her son divers tells Gilly not to worry they will be a white harbor soon enough once they arrived they will immediately load Gillyand the baby onto one of Danny’s shipsand get them out to see Brandon interrupts by whispering we won’t be getting on any ships John is on his way to get us now that he looks back at Gillyand says does your son like dragons Gilly does anyone look at brand he starting to scare her but before she could answer a dragon appears through the clouds we noticed that as a big hole in its right wing reg all seems to be following them down the river back a white harbor to nurse Johnand Jamie get ready to leave at dawn so they can find the rest of the survivors John tells Barrickand the hound to find some food to make sure everyone get something to eat they may not have many chances after they leave aria is seen helping Breanne clean up the injury on her leg then get wrapped up one of the whites had buried a sword deep into her thigh as of right now she can barely stand let alone fight the hell notices are you helping Breanne he walks over to themand jokingly says I hope you’re not asking her for mercy because she won’t give you any then he says most men would die from an injury like that but I’m sure you will have your sword of someone’s Arsenault time by now the sun is starting to rise John Dannyand Jamie Walker would apply Mondragon’s back John looks back at ariaand says if were not backed by sundown you need to have everyone aboard a shipand had to Dragon stone the making will never be able to get his entire army to the island it will be much safer there when he defines Anza brandand the rest of the others as soon as possible we cannot stay here for very long Johnand aria embrace each other one last time before he leaves the scene will end as we see drug on disappear into the clouds in the following scene Circe in your honor laying in bed together Circe is still asleep but your on is starting to wake up he rolls overand looks at Circe he starts to run his finger across her lips that he moves his hand furtherand further down until it’s under the blankets you’re on puts his hand between Circe’s thighs he can feel wetness on his fingertips when he pulls his hand out from under the blanket he can see that his fingers are covered in blood he immediately rips the blankets off Circe he can now see that most of the bed is covered in blood as well Circe wakes up when she feels the cold air hit her naked body she can see your aunt standing over her with a strange look on his face Circe then sits up in his suddenly horrified by what she sees this is when she will begin to screamand cry the mountain runs into the room with the sword drawn expecting to see Circe in a struggle you’re on immediately raises hand but the mountain walks right past them he grabs one of the sheets covers over Circe then carries her out of the room you’re on then gets dressed leaving the room with a wicked smile on his face as he’s walking across the board room one of the lamest regards walks up to himand tells them there something that he needs to see we’ve all of them outside in the garden begins to lead him to the water when you’re on gets close enough to the bay he stops in his tracks he appears to be shocked by what he sees almost all of his iron fleet are gone the silence is still there but that’s about it your own quickly boards the silence there are several men laying on the deck with her throat slit when you’re on enters the main cabin he notices yours gone there is a dagger sticking into the wall with a note left under it written in blood all the note says is was dead may never die sign you’re a great joy Your Honor moves the daggerand the note from the wall he turns aroundand calmly says to the latest regard how does someone sneak into the Blackwater Bayand make off with an entire fleet without someone noticing before the latest regard can even mutter a single word you’re on James the dagger into the man’s neck you’re on lease the silence heading back into the city then we will see your on meet with a few men from the city watch the head to the chambers of the commander of the go to company when they enter the room though they notice it’s empty as well he tells the captain of the city watch to gather up all of his men they need to find Harry Strickland immediately they should check every brothel every in or anywhere they think they might be we will then begin to see some quick scenes of the city watch entering every homeand establishment within the city not only is Harry Strickland gone but it appears as if the Golden company has also left your on great joy is furious he orders the captain to bring him every single man that was on watch last night either of these men are extremely incompetent or they were paid off now doesn’t matter what happened they will all have to die for this back on Dragon stone fee on has nearly 100 men gathering up as much Dragon glass as they can find that is still left over in the caves they will be leaving very shortly to head north fee on now has an entire fleet with over 20 000 men from the Golden company varus is seen with a smile on his face it’s obvious he has been up to something but we don’t know what just yet when fee on exits the cave he will walk over to a sister your after looking at her for several moments his eyes begin to fill up with water he can see yours covered in blood with bruises all over her body feeland also knows that you’re on had her tongue removed finally feeland says you’re a I’m sorry I’m so sorry I left you I’m sorry for what he has done to you but I promise you this we will get our vengeance your steps in closerand wraps her arms around her brother she’s upset but ultimately thankful to still be alive Ferrisand the commander of the Golden company are now standing side by side Harry Strickland will reach out to shake Ferris’s hand he says it’s good to see you again my old friend Hilario told me you would eventually come for us one day but I wasn’t entirely sure if you were still alive before they can finish the conversation they both noticed several ships approaching the beach all of the men on the beach begin to scramble for their weapons they had been expecting retaliation from your on great joy but they did not think it would happen this soon it takes varus a few moments to recognize the banners waiting on the ships when they finally stop flapping in the wind varus has a fearful look on his face the banner is displaying the flaming heart for various this site is even worse than your own great joy looking for revenge he now knows Miller Sondraand Ken Vara have arrived he remembers what Miller Sondra said Amory before she laughs as we see Miller Sondraand Ken Vara laid on the beach they began the walk over to various the red rubies they are both wearing on their throats are glowing brighter than ever varus can hardly looked directly into them without getting blinded Miller Sondra greets them first by saying hello dear spider can Vara places a hand on Ferrisand she says do we still serve the same queen varus nods his head can Vara says good you’re coming with us then all of you must come with us John Snowand a nurse for Garyand are no longer in the far north winter fellas gone they will be back at White Harbor soon but that’s not what were heading various tell the others it’s time to leave varices visibly shaken up by all of this he doesn’t know what to think but he does feel the urge to do as they say in the very next scene did harass Johnand Jamie spot Ray go in the sky above the white knife River they also notice there are a few small boats directly below him they found sans the brandand the rest of the survivors both of the dragons begin to cry out to each other database will be seen giving a signal to the other boats they are dead to the shore to meet with Johnand Danny right away after drug on lands John will embrace his family when they exit the boats everyone else begins to climb on the back of the dragons they will now head back to White Harbor to regroup with everyone else however before they leave brain tells John the need to speak as soon as they get back there is a much time left we will see the making again tonight’s this scene will end when the dragons take to the sky back at White Harbor ariaand Gundry begin telling everyone to prepare to leave by now it’s starting to get darkand John said if they want back by sundown they were to board a shipand go to Dragon stone the making might be heading this way as we speak we cannot stay here for very long baritone Darian stands upand says they’re here both dragons from behind them in land aria rushes over to see who made it out of winter fell alive she is relieved when she sees her brotherand sister they all begin helping everyone off the dragons when aria sees Jamie she says thank you for helping my family then she reaches out to shake his hand we will see John help brand down from drug on then John says okay let’s talk brain says are you sure you don’t want to speak privately John says know if there is something that I must know just go aheadand say it now everyone starts to look at Johnand Brandon Sam already knows what’s coming next finally brain says John you are exactly who you think you are there is great power in you that you never knew existed but I’m sure you’ve always felt it John look somewhat confused then brain says what you think you found goats what you think father never told you who your mother was what you think you were brought back from the dead you have the blood of the Dragon you have the blood of iceand fire you are the song of iceand fire John that’s why you were chosen none of this is a coincidence things were set in motion long before either you or I were here all of it was leading to what will happen by the end of tonight’s the three Raven showed me your birth for a reason it wasn’t only show me who your parents were it’s because you are the one who will have to bring the dawn every time I try to look for answers about how to defeat the making all ICR images that point directly at you Ned Stark was what your father you are the son of regulatory Darianand Leona Stark you’re the one who is destined to defeat the night King everyone now has her eyes set on John everyone is silent almost as if they’re waiting for something to happen John seems to be struggling with trying to process everything brain just told him finally after a few moments Sam walks closer to John he says it’s true he removes a rolled up parchment from a sleeve the hands of the Johnand he says it’s a record of regulars annulment with Elia Martel afterwords there was a secret marriageand door brand has seen it for himself brain says John you’ve never been a pastor you are the legitimate heir to the iron for a your real name is egg on tour Garyand this new revelation stuns the NARA start See Other related products: Yeah The Girls T Shirt

#Trending #Yeah #The #Girls #T #Shirt

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mulder-isms · 6 years

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The gay messiah - Thorcid Fanfic

A\N: So, I’m not going to lie, this fic is just a pile of trash with no plot and filth lol

It’s my failed atempt of the second part of the Christmas special. There are references to Friends characters and in the most Lucy’s fashionable way is based on a Rufus Wainwright song.

Drop me a note if you liked, hated or if turned you on 👀👌

PS: the smuttiest smut

Are memories truly based or something that really happened?

The scattered fragments sometimes connect with others they don’t belong, like a broken jigsaw it could be hard to define what was real or not. The texture of a fabric in the fingertips, a distinct scent of freshly cut grass can take you back to junior high, where you skipped P.E to smoke. But you can’t remember the whole picture at all.

The leather of that couch reminded Jamin of Shane. He was in a birthday party of a friend of a friend, convinced to get out of his cage, and his mind started wondering. The conversion of the gay couple that was there caught his attention. They had been married for years and wouldn’t stop bickering. The dying flame wasn’t an exclusivity of straight couples. The main topic of discussion was because one of them didn’t want to go to Paris for the next trip and the snowball was getting bigger and rolling down to smash them both. You never actually listen to my ideas. You always think you’re right.

World first problems: starting white middle aged gay men.

“I’m having another drink” one of them gave up mid conversation while the other profusely rubbed his eyes.

“I don’t know if you’re in a relationship but this is what happens when you decide to marry someone that is complete the opposite of you. Opposites attraction is complete bullshit” he confessed shaking his head.

Jamin squeezed the cushion of the leather couch and nodded showing polite empathy. All he could think of is how much he missed Shane and how he couldn’t see them reaching that stage. Maybe he was being too naive, maybe his memories were playing a trick on him. Their constant state of missing each other a the probations that state carry within morphed into longing and appreciation. It could be a temporary illusion, he wasn’t that blistfully hopeful, but Jamin was gladly under the spell.

Jamin was checking his phone in the dressing room. He had already talked to the other girls and the Christmas Queens concert was about to happen in few hours. He was able to catch them in one of the last shows finally. Shane was rehearsing with Peppermint, just the usual soundcheck and he was waiting them to finish.

Last night he arrived at dawn and Shane woke up just to fall asleep again. He was fully energetic of too much coffee but his boyfriend was exhausted, so tired that fell asleep mid conversation, and that never happens with Shane, because if he starts talking he will finish it.

Peppermint popped in the room without knocking and was a bit startled to find Jamin there.

“Betty!”

“Hey bitch” Jamin opened a huge smile when he heard Peppermint’s raspy and cheerful voice. She had already opened arms to hug him and he didn’t make her wait.

They hugged each other and Peppermint sat by his side in front of the mirror surrouned by lights.

“Ooh Thorgy is coming right after me. She is just tuning in a little bit more, well, you know her”

“Yeah, I know her pretty well” he raised his brows and kept scrolling on his phone. Peppermint was putting her long hair up, she was wearing a flowy checked dress with leggings. “You look amazing, girl”

“Awww thanks” and she kept fixing her hair on a bun and then she widened her eyes realizing something, “Oh my god! You’re together, right? Girl, I cannot be happier for you guys. I was very surprised when Thorgy told us, I think all of us girls were, but then we were like, yeah, it totally makes sense. You’re both such artistic souls, and your cat personality sorta tones down Thorgy’s golden retriever”

Jamin was caught by surprise with Peppermint words of support, it wasn’t a secret that they were together anymore, although they asked everyone to keep just between them and didn’t want any kind of social media exposure.

“That’s actually a very accurate analogy, I guess” he softly chuckled.

Shane got in the room with his violin case on shoulders, wearing a black tank top of his merch and indecent shorts that seemed to be his sleeping boxers.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you were dropping by before the show!” he asked confused but happy putting down his violin case on the mirror table between Peppermint and Jamin.

He looked up at his boyfriend long body and tapped the side of his hip “I wanted to see you fully awake” he looked up probably looking too much in awe and glanced at Peppermint that was fumbling on her bag trying to not make them uncomfortable with a sweet half smile.

“I know, I passed out while you were talking, right? Soooorry” he replied leaning fowards to grab his face to give him a peck. Jamin panicked for two seconds, doing that if front of Peppermint felt like making out in front of his parents. Then Shane removed his crocs and checked himself on the mirror, he didn’t seem bothered at all.

“You guys are cute, stop it” she laughed closing her bag and standing up. “I still need to get my costumes from the laundry, you two behave”

“Oooh my jumpsuit! I think I forgot it there! Could ya?”

“Yeah, yeah…” she replied shaking her head laughing and left them alone. Shane kept fixing his bun, that was mess.

Jamin stood up and hugged him from behind, sniffing his his nape. Shane reacted to the tickling sensation raising his shoulders, but kept pulling the dreads and sticking on the bun.

“Peppermint is so nice that she felt that I was going to drop dead of awkwardness” he commented nuzzling on Shane’s shoulder and hewas getting softer by each caress of Jamin, and rocking his body gently against his crotch.

“I’m the one dying if you’re keep doing this…” he replied relaxing and closing his eyes as Jamin’s hands entered underneath his shirt, his palm clenching on his stomach and then Shane turned around to kiss him. Jamin pulled him closer by grabbing his ass making him let go a loud gasp.

“You smell so fucking good…” Shane whispered lapping on Jamin’s neck and nibbling on his ear lobe as he played with the waistband of his shorts, pulling them down a bit, Jamin could watch on the mirror his hand creeping under the fabric of Shane’s shorts. “I want your mouth.. I want to feel your lip ring inside my asshole…”

Jamin’s cock twitched so hard between Shane’s legs he laughed. Although Shane was very much into dirty talking around friends he wasn’t that vocal in the actual sex and every time he was it would make Jamin crawl on the walls of excitement.

“There’s no lock on that goddamn door and you say something like that”

Shane bit his lips in mischief and pulled Jamin closer with one leg. They could hear people talking very close.

“Bend me over here and finger fuck me” he continued cupping Jamin’s erection over the jeans. Sharon’s voice was really close. Jamin started sweating and shook his head while Shane started giggling and stopped his hand closing his eyes and gathering all the strength he had left, feeling like all the blood of his body ran south.

“Oh I will, fuck you in many ways”

“Ooooh! Can’t wait” Shane teased him as Jamin pulled away and he fixed his shorts. Shane’s cock looked completely pornographic in that tent state. Jamin’s mouth was still watering. “Go away because I need to tuck this in twenty minutes and there’s no time to even jerk off. And don’t even think about rubbing that dick off. I want every drop of your cum on my mouth”

“SHANE!”

Jamin protested outraged putting his backpack in front of his bulge and throwing an eye shadow brush on him that continued laughing.

There was something about Thorgy playing the violin that made Jamin fall in love all over again. He always had a deep connection with music, and maybe he felt blessed to have it so close to his heart now. Shane’s face would change from a concentration frown to pure serenity, then a mischievous laughter. The strict notes making soft but energetic melodies was a reflect of Shane’s own soul, trying to create something beautiful out of pages and pages of codes and symbols.

As she was twirling around with the dancer on the stage wearing a sort of medieval red dress with golden embellishments, she would search for Jamin’s eyes in the backstage and wink for him. Surely the last couple of months weren’t easy for him, but right now he felt the luckiest man alive.

Jamin was pushed against the wall and the mistletoe that was on the door almost fell off. Thorgy’s was on her knees in front of him rubbing the hard on Jamin had to make fade away earlier in the afternoon, the long tail of the red dress spread behind her making a shiny red carpet, hands were fast to unzip his jeans. It was ridiculous how he was ready to go again just with Thorgy’s eyes, sparkling with that black eye shadow full of glitter and and biting her lips in anticipation.

“Just hold the door” Shane demanded slidding his pants down just enough so he could grab his ass while his other hand was already working on the free erection in front of her.

Jamin gasped with Thorgy’s hot hands wrapped around him and goddman how much he missed them. “You know, there’s plenty room here we don’t have to stand in the one place people can-” his voice was already shaken and when Thorgy started to lick the side of his dick he lost his ability to think, “Fu…” and then fisted Thorgy’s brown curls, but carefully enough not to snatch the wig.

Thorgy kept the eye contact licking the side of his girth while holding firmly the base, very slowly, making it slick so it was almost glistening under the christmas lights over them, but not taking in her mouth yet. Then she gave his shaft a firm squeezing tug and sucked the head swirling the tongue around it finishing with a soft kiss.

“Oh, so you want me to stop?” Thorgy asked innocently and Jamin rolled his eyes panting. Thorgy threw her shoulder flipping her hair satisfied.

“You’re fucking finishing this” he replied aroused but annoyed as Thorgy jubbled his balls gently, pulling his dick up so she could lick from the base to the tip and letting it go making Jamin go crazy with the edging.

“I don’t know… I have a show to finish you know…” she scoffed fixing her hair. Jamin decided to play the game and continued to rub his cock looking down at her.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“Ooooooh!” Thorgy teased mockingly and then pinned his hips on the wood door. “So shut up and do as I say”

Then she grabbed the base of his cock again and started sucking it furiously. Damn, Thorgy knew how to work a cock, her tongue quickly found his frenulum and flirted with it to making him groan. She sucked the head intensely and unforgiving and Jamin wondered how after almost two years together she wasn’t tired of sucking him dry like that.

She stopped a bit to grab some air but Jamin fisted her hair, her jaw tilted and back arched as he kissed her tasting himself in her mouth.

“Fuck my mouth…” she whispered licking his lower lip, the taste of his precum mixed with her saliva. Her lipstick was all smudged, and he forgot they were actually on the break of the show, and she would definitely need a retouch. He gently pulled her by the shoulders and she took the sign to take him all the way in, Jamin feeling her mouth stretching. He knew although Thorgy was willing he was thick and long and it has been a while. But her humming of a approval was the sigh she was very comfortable, but he let her grow accustomed to his girth.

“You’re so good at this…” he motivated her and she sucked at him as hard as she could, slowing him down as he moaned. She moved him in and out, and he trusted harder, and soon the tip of his cock touched the back of her tongue she gagged instinctively, backing away.

He squeezed her neck gently, feeling the contractions of her throat and backed off a little. She took three deep breaths through her nose, relaxing her throat, and then returned him to the spot. He knew Shane was not a quitter and when in Thorgy’s shoes he was even more eager. She probably felt the tickle of her gag but held it off, swallowing instead, which seemed to suck him a little further in. Good girl.

"Ohshit. Ohfuck. Ohjesus…" he panted summoning all the entities to help them not getting caught and pushing himself against the wall so hard he thought he was going through it . She rubbed the flat of her tongue against the bottom of his shaft, craning her neck to get more of him. He felt he was hitting her uvula, and she was nearly losing it but then she forced her body to get back in control. With every slow thrust into her mouth she hummed happily positioning herself forward.

“Do you like my cock fucking your throat, don’t you?” and she nodded with him fully in her mouth making him grunt harder. Drops on sweat falling on his eyes. His breath was getting quicker and she knew she knew he was getting close. She swallowed around him one more time and then pulled away, slipping him out and quickly replacing that heat with her hand, a firm and steady grasp. He ran his thumb over her lips and bent down to look into her eyes and she impatiently kissed him.

“I’ve missed you…” she whispered still rubbing his dick feeling him completely ready to come. The noises outside were getting louder.

“I can see that” he laughed shortly out of breath nuzzling on her slicky mouth, tasting like lipstick and precum. Then she opened her mouth popping her tongue out so he could finally have a place to empty himself. He inserted his cock again where it rightfully belonged and it didn’t last seconds so that he was coming inside her throat, and it was so strong it poured out of her mouth but she quickly retrieved it with her fingers. While Jamin was still spasming Thorgy giggled while cleaning him up, the white liquid between her fingertips with dark red polish nails.

Jamin felt week on his knees but was able to lean forward and lick it from her fingers, and with the other hand clean the corners of her mouth with smudged lipstick and kissing her again.

“I guess that’s my break snack…” she laughed while he was burried on her neck. “Happy belated birthday and happy hanukkah” she replied while he was still kissing the side of her jaw and he cackled.

It was Christmas day and with the miracles the date brings they were both in the winter lands of Brooklyn. There was no tree but it was freezing cold outside and they were laying on bed watching Friends cosily on Jamin’s bedroom. Phoebe was singing her Christmas song and Shane was laughing resting his head on Jamin’s warm chest with a sweater.

“You’re a such a Phoebe. The singing voice is the same” he teased Shane and he pinched his belly laughing.

“And you are… that crazy neighbor with the broom?”

Jamin took a while to remember and then he laughed out loud covering his face. The bitter Mr. Heckles. Shane side hugged him harder giggling and inserting his hand under his sweater, rubbing his belly, and it was something Jamin had learned to get used to it because it felt amazing even though he was self conscious about it.

“I’m gonna be Santa in Hallmark this year”

“Can I sit on your lap then?” Shane asked thrusting his hip on Jamin’s leg.

“You’re Christmas hornier, you know that, right?”

Shane’s hand went down to the waistband of Jamin’s pajamas pants, running his finger on the hairs that were there.

“I knoooow, I don’t know what happens but it always have been like this? I remember when I was like, a teenager and I was so Christmas horny I ended up jerking off to Arnold Schwarzenegger in Jingle all the way” he confessed covering his face right away and Jamin started laughing and hugged him

��Oh my god, Shane!” Jamin replied outraged but when he gave it a second though it was kinda hot. “Hey I’m not complaining though” he reassured him. Right by Shane’s side there was a bottle of lube almost empty, handcuffs, a gag ball, and two dildos of different sizes and functions. Jamin’s wrists still had purple marks. They had been on marathon for two days.

Shane looked up at him with pitiful eyes probably remembering all the profanities he made Jamin do, and rubbed his sore wrists.

“I used you as a human sex toy the last days, but I think I’m done, I swear…” he reassured him still rubbing inside his sweater.

Jamin was a bit tired, he wasn’t going to lie.

“Not too bad for a 40 year old that hasn’t exercised since Trump was elected, huh?” he put his arms around Shane and shook him nested on his chest looking down and Shane just shook his head resting peacefully on his chest again.

They kept watching the next episode for few seconds and now Jamin was the one getting hornier. He imagined teenager Shane in his bedroom jerking off quickly afraid that he would get caught by his parents...he felt his cock throbbing again. He was very sensitive and the slightest movement of the fabric against his growing erection was giving him shivers.

He lowered down a little to whisper something on Shane’s ear that he didn’t even know, he would just say whatever was in his head.

“Slid down your boxers” he ordered and Shane immediately looked up at, his eyes in disbelief, but Jamin was very serious.

“Look, you don’t have to do thi-

Jamin interrupted him maneuvering Shane, putting some pillows underneath him and he was very curious about it so he just let him do it.

“I want you to show me how you used to do” he said laying on his side holding his head with the palm of his hands so he could have the full view of Shane. And he suddenly got very shy. He blinked nervously a couple of times, probably overthinking about it too much.

“Whaaaa…” he hesitated a bit and then checked Jamin’s eyes again if he really meant it. He took a deep breath, and from his bulge Jamin knew he wanted.

“Oookay” he agreed still clueless about where this was going.

Shane arched his back a little so he could remove the boxers but Jamin stopped him.

“Don’t take it all off, let it hang, locking your legs a bit”

His boyfriend opened the sweetest smile of excitement. He dropped down just enough.

“I actually like this way…”

Shane’s cock was free bobbing up and down and Jamin took a deep sigh resisting the urge to suck it. Shane noticed and wrapped his hands around it and started to pumping it looking Jamin in the eyes but then closing letting the sensation take over.

Jamin grinded closer to Shane’s side and started licking his neck and lifting his tank top so he could plant kisses on his stomach and nib on his nipples. Shane kept stroking his cock, the boxers making it impossible for him to open his legs wider. Shane was completely given to the feeling, grunting softly and fisting Jamin’s hair while he was kissing his stomach, swinging in circles gently his hips.

“You can take it off now...I want you to finger yourself…” Jamin whispered in Shane’s ear and he was all flustered, his dreads in the messy bun. He removed his glasses and sat propperly catching a breath and then he laid again. He looked Jamin in the eye and lowered his hand to start over again, but then bursted into laughter covering his face.

“I feel...so stupid!” he said shaking his head laughing but continued stroking his cock and seaching for Jamin’s eyes for approval. He found extremely endearing how Shane was so shy about it. He needed more encouragement than usual this time.

“You’re so hot, fuck yourself for me…I love watching you” he whispered nibbling on his ear and then Shane relaxed a bit more, and put his leg over Jamin’s hip. His erection was rubbing deliciously under Shane’s thigh.

Shane finally let himself go, one leg up inserting two fingers in and out, very slowly while his other head kept working on his cock. He was rock hard and his curved cock glistening. Jamin kept grinding on his side, listening to him whimpering to his own pleasure, the muffled laughter of the TV in the background.

Jamin’s initial plan was to not participate but he couldn’t help himself. The vision he had by his side was so arousing and beautiful, but he needed permission first, and he knew Shane was sore.

“Do you want my tongue inside you?”

“Oh my god yes…” he pleaded opening his eyes immediately and stopping what he was doing but Jamin’s hand was over his pushing the fingers back in making Shane whimper and wince with the extra pressure.

“Don’t stop”

Jamin positioned between Shane’s legs on his knees, and put a pillow under him so he could have a better access. He started thumbing his asshole, pressing it gently like a button, the thumbtip swirling around the rim, and Shane couldn't stop himself from sliding down and opening his legs wider. Shane eyes rolled back in his head when he began eating the younger man’s ass, his broad, rough tongue hungrily lapping at his sensitive hole. There were still finger marks on his cheeks and Jamin tried to smooth then.

"Mmmm" he breathed between licks, and Shane was in another dimension, his neck veins popping up, his stomach going up and down very fast. He was very close and Jamin’s cock was dripping, so he started rubbing himself too. He poked the tip of his tongue into Shane’s ass he slid two fingers inside it, all the way, knuckle deep and placed a good amount of saliva there.

"Fuck fuck fuckkkk!" Shane cried out desperatly. “I’m so close...so close…”

Jamin began pumping Shane with his now-slickened hand, every thrust causing a tiny whimper that he caught in his throat. He twirled his tongue inside his ass one more time, his nose rubbing on Shane’s balls and then he saw him coming all over his own stomach, his ass tensing up and tighs squeezing Jamin’s closer.

He moved his mouth to Shane’s ass cheek. He sucked it, he bit it while his fingers curled inside of him making him grunt even harder. Shane continued panting, covered with the white liquid on his stomach and tank top and Jamin removed his fingers and stood on his knees, pumping his own cock looking down at him.

He also came all over Shane, that opened a huge smile when he did, and when some of it dropped on his neck.

Then Jamin collapsed by his side also in complete ecstasy, the pleasure still shooting from his head to his toes. There was a towel on the nightstand and he took it and looked at the messy state Shane was.

“I don’t even know where to start” he said holding the towel and looking down at Shane.

“You know, there’s a Rufus song….” he started speaking but he was still short of breath. “Called The Gay Messiah….that says he is baptized in cum, I think that’s me”

Jamin laughed and joined him in the mess on top of him for a kiss. He was completely covered indeed, Jamin felt the wet spots reaching through his sweater.

“How to defile classic sitcoms” Jamin whispered on top of him, drying the sweat from Shane’s forehead with his palm. It was freezing outside and they were boiling in that room. Shane just nodded and looked over his shoulders.

“Okay, Mr. Heckles…”

#thorcid #rpdr fanfiction #thorgy thor #acid betty #peppermint #smut fanfic #a pile of garbage

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strangephiti · 3 years

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Scavenger Hunt

Short story. Creepy. Some blood, some grotesque imagery.

Tech has made me switch my brain off. My mundane life has sent me to sleep on my feet. They say the Devil makes work for idle hands – but what about idle minds? Well, those he likes to play games with.

I deliver food for a living – from an American Style Diner that’s gotten pretty popular lately. Not a bad job, pay is.. decent. I’m just glad to be working again. My co-worker, Jamie, is in his twenties, all full of energy and bounce. He finishes his shift and skips on out for a pint or two. Sometimes he even invites this old fart along.

“Nah,” I say. “This old lady needs her sleep.”

Old. I’m not old. I don’t feel old in my heart. But I feel it in my knees!

I work a day shift, 12-8pm. But if they offer a night shift I’ll take it. I have nothing else to do. If I was at home I’d watch Youtube videos without caring what I was watching until I feel asleep. Then wake up, shower and head to work. Same old same old. I’m on auto-pilot. Brain dead. At least if I’m working, I’m moving.

I don’t even pay attention to who I am delivering food to. I used to. Used to be polite and friendly: “enjoy your meal!” Mostly, now, I just drop it on the doorstep and stand back until it’s collected. We exchange grunts of acknowledgement, but that’s about it. I gave up smiling at people when I realised they couldn’t see it through the mask. I don’t even have to engage my brain to ask for payment, or work out change. People tend to pay by card in advance these days. Another effect of the pandemic. Work didn’t want any exchange of cash, or germs. At least we were delivering again.

In between calls I sat in my car. My co-worker was out on a delivery, and I was just waiting. I had a video on my I-pad, but what the guy was saying I have no idea. I just like the noise.

My phone buzzed.

I hopped into the diner to collect the food. I sat it on my passenger seat. I punched the address into the Sat-nav. See? No brain required. The chipper little Australian man will tell me where to go, “no worries, mate!”

It was a late shift. A little after midnight. I flicked on the headlights and pulled away.

I didn’t notice what streets I was turning down. When my little Aussie friend told me to turn, I turned. There wasn’t much traffic to have to pay attention to either. When I stopped I was outside a block of flats – generic, grey, looming. It was too dark to see any signs, and to be honest I didn��t really care. I just got out and walked up to the door. I let out a sigh. Covering the intercom buttons was a folded note. It just said: “Delivery guy.” I flipped it open.

“Sorry, mate! Got called to work last minute.

But if you could deliver this to a pal of mine, I’ll

drop you an extra tip on the app!”

There was a second address. I hate food wastage! But was it really worth the time and effort? I checked my phone to see if I had another job. Nothing. The choice was a whole lot of empty minutes, or a drive to keep me moving. So I punched in the address and I went.

I didn’t notice the street lights becoming less frequent until they got so scarce I had to put the full beams on. I’d turned off onto and A-road. I could already smell the countryside.

“In 100 metres, turn left. Your destination will be on the left. Nice one!”

I pulled over. I stared at the Sat-nav. It was convinced I had arrived and would tell me no more. But when I looked around I saw nothing. Just a crumbly stone wall, a farm gate and lots of empty fields. The gate had an old sign, held on by three bolts. The forth bolt still sat their stubbornly gripping the wood, but the corner it was supposed to secure had long since cracked and corroded away. “Dunroamin’” said the sign. I wished I was “done roaming” myself.

I sat for a bit, wondering if someone would come to meet me. If I’m honest I felt uneasy, and locked my doors. If they wanted their food they could get it through a window. I wasn’t getting out. I kept the engine running, and the headlights on.

I waited five minutes, and nothing. I wasn’t waiting five more. So I began to reverse and turn. As I did, the headlights caught sight of something sitting on the fence post. It was a cap. A cap with a very familiar logo; Our logo. Even from here I could see the stupid grinning bull on the side. It kind of gave me the creeps, sitting there like that, smiling at me. It wasn’t unusual for people to put lost hats and scarves and gloves on fence posts, to make it easier to find if you came back looking for it. Just the coincidence of it made me shudder.

Must be Jamie’s, I thought. We deliver all over, he could have lost it any time. He’d be thankful. Those caps cost a fortune to replace. But I still wasn’t keen to get out of the car, so I drove close enough to grab it through the window. Even just my arm being outside of the car made my skin prickle, as if I expected something to jump out of the darkness and bite my hand off.

I threw the cap in the car. I checked the app. No jobs. With nowhere else to go and no clue where I was I asked my tiny friend to take me back to the diner. “No worries, mate!”

I didn’t notice that I was still going in the same direction, and not back the way. Swinging the car around to grab the cap had knocked off my sense of direction. When the voice told me to “make a U-y” I forgot that I already had. I just trusted the voice, and didn’t think.

“Turn right,” my cheery friend told me.

“Turn right.”

I did as I was told. But at the third “turn right,” I gave him a quizzical look. Damn thing was taking me in circles. I must not have changed the address right. I’d have to pull over and fix it, but these roads are narrow and stopping anywhere here – especially in the dark – was a sure way to get crushed by the racers that thought they owned this stretch. I’d have to find a passing place to tuck into to be safe.

The first safe space I came to made my stomach sink a little. I was back at the gate by the crumbling wall. But this time, there was someone there. I could just make out the sillhouette of hunched shoulders, but I couldn’t tell if they had their back to me or were looking straight at me. It unnerved me and I checked that the doors were still locked.

There was silence, except the purr of the idling engine. The person didn’t move. I honked the horn, lightly. Not the most polite way to get attention, but I was not sticking my head out of the window to yell. Still the person didn’t move. So I roll the car forward slowly.

As I did, the headlights illuminated the shadow. I let a dry laugh fall. It wasn’t a person at all. It was a jacket. Just a jacket, hanging over the post, flapping in the breeze. I turned my attention to the Sat-nav. I keyed in the post code for the diner only for the damn thing to blip at me and display the delivery address once again. Technically minded as I am, I hit it. It didn’t help, oddly.

The jacket flapped in the breeze. I could see it’s dark coloured sleeves in my peripheral. It bothered me. I had tried to ignore the obvious – that this jacket had not been there just minutes earlier – but it waved at me incessentaly, begging me to notice it. I looked again.

I could see nothing beyond the fence post. My headlights cover a small patch of wall, an inch of green through the bars in the gate, and the jacket, white bodied and red sleeved. And the jacket was grinning at me.

That stupid grin. That big stupid bull with its big stupid grin, sticking its thumb up in the air as if nothing would make it happier than for you to come and make a burger out of its big stupid arse! If this went on, Jamie would be running around half naked before the night was through! I swung the car around and reached through the window, then tried once more to make the Sat-Nav co-operate and take me back.

Fifteen minutes later, I knew it was still steering me wrong. It felt like I was getting deeper into the countryside. The road was growing bumpier, more worn and unkempt, and muddier in places. Still I followed the voice as it told me where to go. My only other option was to drive around blindly by myself – and I never did have a great sense of direction. The Sat-Nav blipped and blipped again. Sometimes it displayed the diners address and sometimes it didn’t. But whenever the voice told me to turn, I turned.

“Your destination is on the left. Roll up yer windows! And don’t forget yer sunnies!”

I had chosen that voice last summer. It felt appropriate and uplifting then. Now it just sounded smarmy and mocking and completely unhelpful. I threw it a fatuous middle finger, and pulled over. A pin prick of ice shot through my chest. I was at the gate again. The same gate; The same crumbly wall; The same three bolted sign. “Dunroamin’,” it told me. And there was something new on the fence post. A delivery bag. The ice spread through me in splintering fingers. I didn’t know what this was, but it wasn’t a game I was keen on playing. I don’t know why I got out of the car this time. Defiance, I think. Someone was toying with me, leaving things for me to find, trying to freak me out. And, to be fair, it was working. Maybe it was Jamie. Maybe he had messed with my Sat-nav. Maybe the boredom of the night shifts had finally gotten to him. This night was certainly getting to me.

Jutting my chin out and walking as nonchalantly as I could I went for the bag.

“Thanks for the scavenger hunt, Jamie! Though I might charge you delivery for this lot.”

I reached for the strap and made to flick it off the post and onto my shoulder – but the weight in it caught me off guard. I had expected it to be empty, but it felt like there was at least a 6 pack of beer in there. The handle was soggy as if it had been out in the rain all night. I threw it in the passenger seat and dried my hands on my jeans. Or rather, I wiped my hands on my jeans. I could see the stain on the blue denim clearer than I could on my hand, and with the light from the car hitting knee height, there was no mistaking the deep red colour. It wasn’t rain. It wasn’t mud. It was blood. And the strap of the delivery bag and been soaked in it. The chill was in my veins now, snaking down my arms and wrists, trembling into my hands. What the actual fuck?

A second later a deep growl ripped through the air. I jerked my head up in time to see headlights flick on further up the road and heard the taunting revving of an engine. My heart leaped into my mouth, and I leaped back into the car, scrambling over the passenger seat. I was glad I had left the engine running because, as soon as I had turned the car, I heard the squeal of breaks being released and tires skidding and the high beams behind me grew suddenly large and close. I slammed my foot on the accelerator. My tiny little Fiesta winced at me as I clunked through the gears, praying it still had enough power in its old engine to keep us going. My rear view mirror was awash with light, blinding me, as the car behind came closer and closer. They were clearly built for this, and I was not.

“Turn right,” said the voice.

I turned left. I lost faith in my little friend. I took whatever turn and bend that caught my eye, manoeuvring without slowing down, smashing my rear light on a wall, scraping the passenger door on hedges and fences. Behind me the engine wailed and a maniacal voiced whooped and hollered as a shadowed someone hung out the passenger window, howling in the night. The next second my back window exploded in shower of glass! A full can of beer had torpedoed through it, smashing against the dashboard and bursting open. Most of the window remained in place, but the spidery remnants made it even harder to see what was going on behind me. But the can sized hole in it made it easier to hear. Whooping. Cheering. At least someone was having fun. A second projectile collided with the read bumper. In fright I swerve, my wheels slipping off the road into a ditch. I had to fight to get it back on the road.

“Turn left,” said the voice.

I turned right. Another fierce jolt hit me, jerking my body forward into the steering wheel. This wasn’t a can this time. They were ramming me. They slowed and pulled back a bit, then shot forward and smashed into my bumper. Again, and again. They would let me get a tiny bit further ahead and then WHAM! It was clear that they were a lot faster than me and were just teasing me with the thought that I could get away.

My ears were filled with the sound of blood rushing and engines roaring. I thought my head was going to explode from the pressure. WHAM! The slammed again. And I could hear them cackling and whooping.

Then I saw the lights. Street lights. A glimmer of hope caught in my throat. I couldn’t go any faster. The pedal was floored as it was. I just prayed they wouldn’t notice the lights themselves and decided to draw the chase to a close.

“At the next junction, keep going straight, mate!”

“No worries,” I muttered, as I slammed on brake and clutch and pulled the car hard round to the left, then slammed back on the accelerator and tore off again. To my relief the car behind me kept going straight on. The sound of their car and their revelry grew faint. But I kept speeding on. My body had ceased up, every muscle tensed. It took a good five minutes or more before I was able to release the pedal and ease the car to a comfortable speed.

I breathed heavily, shivering under the cold sweat. Sheer muscle memory brought me back to the diner and my usual parking spot. I pulled up as if it was business as usual. The lights in the diner were glaring and the night staff were bustling around, getting ready to close. I just sat there, taking huge gulps of air.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the night manager at the window, beckoning me in. He wanted to bag back so he could lock up. I reached for it. I reached for them. Because, of course, I had two now. Mine, and the one I found. The one that was heavy and seeping in blood.

Everything in me was screaming at me not to open it, to walk away. But my hands drew ever closer to the zip.

I peered in.

He grinned at me. No hat, no jacket, and nothing else. Just his stupid face, stupidly grinning up at me.

#shortstory scarystories creepystories

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