ldelanieze-blog

[phenixy-dunnhart]

WARNING ! SPOILERS for TLOVM season 3 and Campaign 1

I'm a bit sad with all the negativity in the tlovm tags following this new batch of episodes. Because all the usual appreciation and fun details pointing is drown in it. So I'll do my part and draw some light and appreciation for the following things:

"Allura can't teleport us 'cause we mind wind up in the ocean" Nice nod

The beauty of Glintshore sand? crystals ? I mean, I know the entire island isn't covered in it, but it's there and it's gorgeous

Vax and Grog banter, Pike and Vax friendship when she stole his badass line. Who says that the friendships in tlovm are not showed ? It's smaller because they're running out of time but if you keep both eyes open, you can catch the small moments.

How good was the delirium gas ?

Percy having bad Ripley PTSD ?Check.

Orthax forcing the (gas) mask on Percy's face ? Oh f*ck me that was so good.

Elaina's first appearence and Vex's heart torment ? Check

Vex fighting the gas messing with her mind and seeing Percy getting kidnapped ? Great

Her seeing Percy devoured by some hellish pain ? Awesome foreshadowing for Orthax feeding on Percy's soul

I won't dwell too much on ep 7 because I'm Perc'ahlia trash and this was pure gold but ALL their scenes.

And these two shots:

They're the last thing they think about before passing out. And look at them, they're looking at each other. Great parallels, great cinematography

You want more parallels ? You're not in enough pain ? I've got more ! How about this ?:

Percy cradling Vex because he doesn't want to lose her.

Vex cradling Percy because she lost him

MY HEART !!!!!!

Anyways back to our regular program: The color scheme in the factory is on point. Predominance of green during all Ripley's discussion with percy, some blasts of orange for Orthax.

This shot when they want to make us think Percy will go dark but also because he sincerly understand. He sees with her (green) eyes

Culminating in theses shots:

In the end, the true Percy is good (he's blue which is both his color and Vex's)

Then we got some nice Pike and Kiki character development with the delirium gas

Percy's fight with Ripley is pure display of his capacities and wits, not unlike Vex's fight against Saundor or Grog's fight against Kevdak. The fights with nemesis are always awesome, well choreographed and both characters and animators flexing.

And I like Grog's delirium both beacause it brings a bit of comic relief in this big painful episode but that's not all there is. Because when he gets out of it, he asks Pike if he hurt her again and you can't convince me that he didn't saw Craven Edge and the pain he inflicted Pike in his PTSD (not showed but we know)

Onto episode 8, love the Stilben flashback and the dead mystic cult leader being Taliesin.

The funeral was powerful and beautiful. The highlights being Cassandra crying her last family member and Vex'ahlia not saying the prayer despite being one of the Dawnfather.

Scanlan putting Kaylie's song music sheet on the altar for Percy breaks my heart. For him, he lost both of them and also he traded the life of his friend for moments with Kaylie (which he didn't even had, that's so sad)

Vox Machina assembling all of their allies with the beautiful OST was awesome while conserving this... heaviness. We're still grieving (at least I'm still am)

Vex and Syldor whole convesrsation. Laura Bailey, the talented woman you are and Troy Baker did a great job at humanizing him. though he's still a prick.

Vaxleth and Pikelan scenes were cute

We've got LARKIN mentioned and by Vax nonetheless !

Earthbreaker Groon and Grog doing the slapping hands/muscles flexing meme !

How brutal Thordak's attacks are in ep 8 and 9, all the people dying to rise up the stakes worked really well in my opinion.

Travis smarts piercing through Grog's 6 INT just like in the campaign

Earthbreaker Groon being a BAMF with that suplex

The teamwork going strong during all the fight

Zahra and Kash coming in to save the day. I love them your honor

My jaw dropped at Kashaw's badass magical attack. THAT WAS AWESOME and dropped further at his death. I couldn't believe it at first and as bold as a choice it was, I really liked it. Because it's a thing to kill NPC nameless army guys but killing a beloved character: that take some balls . And because of the unpredictability, the shock hit. I'm always here for the drama and it was beautifully done (the visuals for the Raven Queen and her powers are always as gorgeous as ominous).

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn also showing off her VA talent

In the end, every VM members getting his moment of glory :

Vex with getting the Syngorn army while being at her lowest/rock bottom ("The truth is the only bargaining chip at rock bottom", really nice parallels with the Stillben flashback + her using Percy's philosophy)

Grog destroying the lair

Scanlan getting them out of there at the peril at his life and ending up in a coma (nice subversion so there are not two dead party members followed up by two ressurections)

Keyleth being her badass elemental self (with her two gorgeous muscial leitmotives "blinded by the light" + "passing through the fire")

Pike being able to absorb Thordak -not red but- blue fire/laser which we saw went through Emon like butter. That's one MONSTAH move with beautiful beautiful colors (red yellow and blue mixing) look at this shot:

And Vax having the last kill, thinking of his mother doing this for Emon sure but most important for his mom, Vex and himself and what a beautiful shot and power move with the twisting golden and black torpedo that he is.

A great powerful death for a great powerful foe

And then some sorrow and sweetness. The Vaxleth back hug was adorable.

And that last shot of Keyleth after the confrontation with Raishan makes me long for more and to already be next week.

And that's some positivity and appreciation of CR work because they pour their heart and soul into these series and these characters and it's beautiful and I see it. I hope I could put some light on it at my small scale.

Have a great day and let's wait impatiently for next week and end of season 3

[tavina-writes]

When will we ever get something like yanxi palace and story of ming lan, the fact that they were allowed to take revenge on the people who caused the death of the women they loved most, there was no "revenge is bad" or "we're better than this" no. Ming lan schemed and planned so meticulously and ying luo when she found out Erqing played a role in the empress death she brought her in front of her portrait and strangled her to death without fear or hesitation. Dramas nowadays would get cut and censored to hell if they did anything close to that. I want my complicated badass smart women back, I'm so tired of shows trying to convince me very hard the leads are smart by having people say it again and again when the actual writing doesn't show it...

I feel your pain on this "the leads are very smart because people keep saying they're smart" nonny. I, too, sometimes question why it is that that happens, but I'm not entirely certain its only censorship at play!

I've been rotating this for a while now since I still haven't found anything that strikes me as hard as Yanxi/Minglan/Ruyi in the years since then, especially since I love political dramas with cool female leads and I'm always on the hunt for new ones. I think the Yanxi-Minglan years were a real treat for us tbh. I don't know that things are necessarily more watered down now solely because of censorship exactly, because we've always had to work around censorship. Yanxi famously cut Yingning's storyline as well as Chenbi's Korean costuming just to get by the censors, which is also why the back half of Yanxi lost like, 10? or so episodes? and we lost some supposedly STUNNING scenes in there because of those cuts to get past censors. (There are photographs that I drool over about the cut plotlines every now and again while shaking my fist at the sky.) Minglan was originally 80 episodes long instead of seventy-three. I'm not entirely certain what they cut from there, but there is a rumored director's edition with 80 episodes that I haven't been able to get my hands on that's apparently also very good so it's not like Minglan escaped the censorship cuts either.

However, like, I think stories like Yanxi and Minglan are so rare because it is very difficult to get the whole package together -- the actors, the costuming, the sets, the screenwriters, the directors, the ost, the editing, the air dates, the audience interest, the companies investing money and budget into a production, and yes, the production clearing the censorship hurdle. In my ~15 years or so of watching cdrama, I'd say that the Yanxi-Minglan years were still some of my all time highs when it comes to cdramas that really grabbed me and it's because for these productions so much of this came together. It's always vastly easier for a writer to say "this character is very smart! this character is very smart and other people know it!" rather than showing that the character is smart or setting up a plotline where the character is smart and getting the payoff back from that. We see this all the time in every sort of media. Most of it comes down to bad writing and the writers being so afraid of like, actually going for the throat rather than censorship (though of course the censorship doesn't help a writer lose their fear of going for the audience's throat on a plotline or a character moment).

So I think a lot of more recent cdramas that fall into that pit are in there more for bad writing than censorship tbh, and bad writing unfortunately has always existed, and shows that claimed their characters were super smart while also making my eyes bleed also existed prior to and during the Minglan-Yanxi years as well as after. (Looking at you Brocade Heart Like Jade, I still haven't forgiven you for baiting me.)

For the record I've been watching The Side Story of the Fox Volant which came out last year in 2022 recently with @autumnslantern and some of those scenes are dark. We're about 5-6 episodes in right now and it's been really fun and well constructed. This show definitely is not at all holding back with showing bloody deaths, societal troubles, or the implications of the jianghu being a dangerous and often miserable place. So I think that cdramas with smart people and extremely vicious moments do still exist! Or at least they did up to last year.

TLDR: I think it's a combination of "the censorship is obviously not helping" and "stories that good are rare for reasons other than censorship because it's so much harder to tell a good story."

I do feel you though nonny, when will a show like Minglan or Yanxi and a main character like Sheng Minglan or Wei Yingluo EVER COME BACK from the WAR. I WANT.

[aquilacalvitium]

A bunch of thoughts that are incomprehensible to people who aren't Cirque Du Soleil fans

Target and Nico have the same energy and would almost definitely be friends

Someone please introduce Aviator from Quidam and Aviator from Kurios to each other, they'd be besties

Klara moves like a clockwork doll and it's mesmerising to watch

You can see Time Master's effects on the flow of time by watching Klara and Microcosmos in the background

This meme I made

I think Gongli (chair balancer from Koozã) would be Carlos' (chair balancer from Kurios) plus one at Klara's dinner parties

Volta's ending is a tad abrupt methinks

Ela is just awesome, everything about her is awesome, I want to be friends with her

Is that other person with blue feathers in Volta another character? Or is he still Waz? It's a bit ambiguous and I'm not good at subtext

Quidam (the character) somehow manages to be somewhat intimidating while also having very strong "safe person" energy

The Seeker suddenly gains two assistants in Creature De Siam that have not existed at all up to this point

They always turn even the singers into characters in the shows and I love that so much

They always manage to do something with the stage itself, from traps doors to a revolving platform to prop tracks and sometimes more than one of the above

I tried learning French so I can understand the characters but it is an evil language and putting myself through that would count as self-torture /j

The wiki refers to the train at the beginning of Kurios as Mister Microcosmos' outfit but he is standing elsewhere on stage when the train comes in so I actually have no idea who that is

Time Master doesn't get enough appreciation, I get that he isn't as merchandise-able as Klara and Nico and Mister Microcosmos but his act, aside from Chaos Troupe 1900, is definitely my favourite

Also the track for his act is not on the ost and that is a crime

Neither is the track that plays between 11h11 and Bella Donna Twist or the track that pays right before Hypnotique

And for some reason Departure is half of the track for Hand Theatre and then suddenly goes into the track before Dangerous Flight? I'm a bit confused there

I've started assigning names to character who don't have names or who's names I can't find anywhere

I refer to them by their actor's names like Carlos and Gongli

If they're a group or I can't find the actor's names I make something up I.e. I refer to the banquine performers in Kurios as The Beachgoers because I mean look at them it's a fitting name

WHY DID THEY RETIRE MICHAEL FROM KOOZÄ HE'S MY FAVOURITE CLOWN IN THE SHOW I WILL FOREVER BE UPSET ABOUT THIS

Also I can't find a single good quality picture of Michael in his grotesque-whiteface-esque costume that he wears for the whole show apart from during his pickpocket routine which is weird

I kinda can't stop staring at Klara or Nico any time they're on stage because their individual styles of body language are just fascinating

How does Quidam (the show) have such specific energy? I can't think of a better word than ethereal. Like it's unsettling but also feels safe and familiar somehow? Idk but I love it

WHY isn't Bella Donna present for the finale? That woman carried so much of Bella Donna Twist and then dips??? Give that woman the standing ovation she deserves!!!

The Quid Pro Quo/Mr Wow Show scene has probably more dialogue than the entirety of most of Cirque Du Soleil shows I've seen

Waz's outfit on Quid Pro Quo is. Something. I really want to know how that was made and what materials were used - this is coming from a guy with ZERO interest in textiles

Actually all of the outfits in Volta are crazy, even the Grays have interesting stuff going on, major props to the costume department

The fourth wall may or may not exist at any given point in time and it's fun to look for it

Especially when there are characters who thrive of off breaking the fourth wall (all clowns) vs characters who never once break the fourth wall (I.e. The Innocent or Ela or the Curios)

I DID NOT MEAN TO HIT POST THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT

I guess if I have any more thoughts I'll just come back and edit this post

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

Rwby ost was always funny af because most of the time songs do a better job at developing characters than the show itself.

And of course add the weird gap between the songs that play and the scene they are inserted into.

Like "Be strong and hit stuff" plays during Ironwood vs Everyone for... some reason. "Chatterbox" (a song about Neo and Curuous Cat internally fighting) plays during Jabberwalkers vs WBY for... some reason. And let's not forget "Red like roses 2" playing during RWBY and JNPR vs Nevermore.

Like... at this point I'm not surprised "Guide my way" has nothing to do with vol9 plot nor Rubys arc in the said vol🤷‍♀️

The RW/BY soundtrack certainly makes....choices. Some songs are good across all 9 soundtracks and others are....their. Overall though I tend to not like it when the songs have lyrics during the battles as for me they can distract from the battle itself with wanting to try and listen to the lyrics because as you said, so often the songs do more of the heavy lifting for characterizing the characters and actually giving us insight into their thoughts and feelings.

But on the other hand so often the songs and their placement makes no sense to what is happening thematically. Unfortunately Guide My Way falls into this trap which is unfortunately because we've been so long due for a song that really focuses on Ruby and Guide My Way...falls kind of flat. (TW suicide and attempted suicide discussions below)

I remember when we first heard the notes from Red like Roses I got goosebumps I was so excited and I loved it and it had my hyped for the whole song...but I've realized I don't like anything but that little instrumental section before the lyrics "Red like roses fills my dreams" that is the best part of the song....and its just Red like Roses. But more importantly the lyrics....don't make sense.

I'm begging, can you Guide my way out Of this place?

This song is what plays when Ruby is supposed to be "finding herself" and regaining her confidence in herself. It doesn't make sense for the lyrics to be begging for guidance. If the volume ended with Ruby still in an emotionally shaky place sure the lyrics could work.

Ruby does chose herself realizing her loved ones would miss her and love her because she is her despite her flaws. However she still feels guilty and lost and clearly needs time to heal. The lyrics then have a duel meaning of seeking both guidance in the physical sense and the emotional sense. However that's not what the show went with so the lyrics go against everything the show is claiming is supposed to be Ruby's arc.

Will I ever be (complete)? When will I become all of me?

Again confusing because this is supposed to be Ruby's finding herself and choosing herself moment....why is she asking if she will ever be complete? As I've said it makes no sense for Ruby to in this moment be having these thoughts, the big thing is she should be feel confident in herself and her abilities again and the show has no indication that Ruby is feeling anything but self assured and confident so the song implying otherwise is odd to me.

Your memory ever-lasting at war with my foolish pride What is left?

The foolish pride part is....admittedly kind of frustrating. All last volume the girls all insisted that they where doing the right thing and never really questioned the morality of their actions. The other make sure to tell Ruby when she doubts their actions that that is just thinking like the super duper evil Ironwood and we can't have that. The show has repeatedly slapped us in the face with the fact that Ruby is totes super perfect and is elevating her to this honestly creepy god like status.

This line teases a story line so many people have wanted to see of Ruby actually acknowledging her faults and failures and growing and improving as a person. Unfortunately this does not happen. The mains continue to act as if they can do no wrong and refuse to sit down and reflect on their actions.

I know it's you and I, when I look inside I'll be who you were and I'll be even more

Again, this is supposed to be about Ruby "choosing herself" why is this song that should be about the moment she did in fact choose herself declaring that Ruby will be who her mother was and given that one of the major things that broke her was this expectation that she would solve everything and was perfect and always happy all the time, having her declare she'll be even more feels....tone deaf is the best word I can think for it.

Cr/wby pretended to write this story about a girl carrying the weight of the world and crumbling under the pressure of it all. But then this song is having her declare after breaking that she would be "even more". Pretending that a person who broke under the pressure would turn around and enforce the pedestal they where put on is absolutely insane to me. Just the callousness of it all especially with how Ruby's break was handled.

Cr/wby had Ruby try to end her life. They had her drink tea that she thought would kill her with Neo telling her the world would be better off without her. Neo broke her by reminding her of her faults and failures and made her think the world would be better off without her. Instead of recognizing this pedestal she was being put on was hurting her, they instead reinforced said pedestal and made sure she know how worthy she was of the pedestal putting her realistically in the exact same situation as she was in before.

I am the reflection of who prevails I'm what inspired the fairytale

As stated above, this is just once again putting Ruby further up on a pedestal and giving her this honestly creepy god like status in how she's being revered and inspiring fairytales. It doesn't make any sense to me and it's frustrating how careless CR/WBY has been with this entire arc.

(I can guide me, I can guide my way out) Guide my way out Of this place

"I can guide me" feels almost like an afterthought that was thrown in at the end to me at least. Why is this line a background line if its supposed to be the moment Ruby fully realizes she is enough? Why not have I can guide my way out be the final line of the song? If the song is supposed to be Ruby's entire emotional journey throughout the volume it doesn't convey well at all given how this feels like such an afterthought. If its supposed to be all about how Ruby has found herself it also falls extremely flat.

Sorry to go on a massive tangent their but I had thoughts lolz.

[bangtansmauyeondan]

Changing Seasons (a KNJ oneshot)

Based on the song Is It Still Beautiful (Hospital Playlist 2 OST) by Seungkwan, Woozi and DK of Seventeen

Pairing: Arts and Travel Blogger!Namjoon x Restaurateur!Fem Reader

Genre: Angst, Exes AU

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings: None

Summary: After three years of traveling in and around Europe to feed his hunger and passion for travel and the arts, Namjoon returned home to his first love.

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @highly-functioning-mitochondria @persphonesorchid @thatbangtanjagiya @jjwamaisvu @taestefully-in-luv @btsstan12 @bts-reveries @blog-name-idk @madbutgloriouspond @pamzn @wrmnssoul @ygbubs @halesandy

••••

“Namjoon, are you ready?” Hoseok stuck his head through the door of his hotel room, suitcase lagging behind, ready to leave.

“Yep!” Namjoon patted the pockets of his jeans. “Just making sure I have everything with me before I leave.”

“Passport?”

“Here,” Namjoon took a peek inside the fanny pack across his chest for good measure.

“Come on, let’s go. Yoongi hyung is already at the airport,” Hoseok pushed the door wide open to assist his friend with his suitcase. “He’s gonna start whining again if we’re late.”

“Our flight is in three hours!” Namjoon looked at his friend incredulously.

“Tell him then!” Hoseok challenged.

“Yeah, no. Nevermind.”

*********

The usually bustling Incheon International Airport wasn’t that crowded when they landed, and so the three of them have decided to stop by the cafe for something to nibble on before they go their separate ways.

“Ah, it feels good to be back home,” Hoseok sighed leaning back on his chair as he chewed on his bagel. “I swear, I can’t wait to speak in my jeolla dialect 24/7.”

Namjoon and Yoongi chuckled at their friend’s statement. The three of them have been friends since high school and equally have big dreams. They were away for three years collectively, with Yoongi and Hoseok working together in the international music scene, hopping between the US and the UK, and Namjoon exploring arts in and around Europe. Finally being able to take a three-month break at the same time, the three friends have decided that it’s a no-brainer– they have to fly back home to their motherland.

“Planning anything exciting while we’re home?” Hosek asked them. “My sister is getting married in Jeju Island, but I don’t have any other plans during my stay.” He continued.

“I’m gonna head straight home and probably hug Holly for hours,” Yoongi smiled at the thought of his pooch. “Heading straight to Ilsan, Joon?”

Namjoon hesitated, nibbling on his lower lip. A beat of silence passed until he realized that his friends were waiting for his answer. “I’m checking in at a hotel for the night and then I'll head to Ilsan tomorrow.” He didn’t miss the way his friends exchanged glances between each other. “I’m visiting ______ at her restaurant today.”

“Yah, Namjoon-ah…” Worry flooded Hoseok’s face. He was about to say something when Yoongi waved his hand dismissively at him.

“Let him. He needs it.” Yoongi turned to Namjoon, giving him a tight-lipped smile and an encouraging nod.

He’s right. He needed it. He needed to see how things have turned out himself.

THREE YEARS AGO

The cozy atmosphere in the quaint little cafe did nothing to calm the cold and the storm raging inside Namjoon’s chest as he clutched your hands on top of the table.

“It’s not fair to either of us…” You looked up at him, almond-shaped eyes gazing into his sharp dragon eye-shaped ones. The soft glow from the fairy lights hanging by the window reflecting against your glassy eyes made your chocolate-colored orbs a little bit more sparkly. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Namjoon nodded, albeit holding back his own tears. He wouldn’t let you see him break. Hell, he’s not even sure if you really meant that much to him… what did you really mean to him? You were like a moth drawn to a flame. He’s the flame whose warmth radiates so brightly, you have mistaken it for something more. He had big dreams, bigger than anything else, bigger than what he felt for you. As much as he could see how supportive you were on his travels, and how you listened to him as he constantly rambled about arts every night while tangled up in his sheets, he still felt like you were pulling him back. He felt constrained, like a balloon tied up to a boulder, he couldn’t soar up high. You’re a simple girl– you're passionate about food, produce, and farming. You grew up on a farm and your dream has always revolved around bringing the freshest ingredients from the ground to the consumer’s table. He, on the other hand, wanted to see what the world has to offer. He once asked you to travel with him during his internship in Paris, and although you didn’t say much, he knew your heart wasn’t in it.

You’re right. It’s not fair to either of you. Asking you to uproot yourself and travel with him was not the risk he would want to take, for fear that in the end, you might loathe him. For fear that in the end, he would realize that what he felt for you isn’t love. After all, that is the territory neither of you have tried dipping your toes into.

“I get where you’re coming from, ______.” Namjoon gave you a reassuring smile before bringing your hands to his lips, giving your knuckles a gentle kiss. “Thank you,” another kiss. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be that person for you.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” you returned his reassuring smile. “Go follow your dreams, Namjoon. I won’t be able to forgive myself if you don’t.”

“Do you promise to keep in touch?”

“I promise.”

“Go accept your dad’s proposal, ______.” He reached out and tucked the loose strand of hair hovering in front of your face behind your ear. “Take over the family business. I’m rooting for you.”

You nodded.

The night ended with you in his tight embrace in front of your apartment, promising each other to stay friends, no matter what.

*********

At first, I was comfortable being alone

I had freedom with my decisions and my time

It was like I had erased the memory of you

I really believed I did

But, you see, when I open my eyes early in the morning, alone

And I learn that you are not by my side

Tears start flowing without me realizing

*********

From: namjoon@rkiveblog.kr

Date: May 25, 2017 at 12:24:55 PM

To: hello_yn@freshharvest.kr

Subject: Finally!

Hi Yn,

I just checked into my accommodation in Paris. My agent said the renovations aren’t done at the new apartment complex so I have to stay here for another week. Bummer, eh?

By the way, I have taken a lot of photos during my layover and will be posting them on the blog tonight. Can’t wait for you to see them!

How are things over there?

Yours,

KNJ

From: hello_yn@freshharvest.kr

Date: May 26, 2017 at 03:26:15 PM

To: namjoon@rkiveblog.kr

Subject: RE: Finally!

Hey Joon!

Glad you made it to your accommodation safely. :) As long as the museum would shoulder the extra expenses for your accommodation, I guess it’s alright? Hope you’re eating well.

My parents were over the moon when I told them that I’m ready to take the business off of their plate. I’m a bit scared! But my dad said his business partner would help me. Apparently, their eldest child took over their farm about a year ago too. So I guess I would be okay!

Can’t wait to read your blog tonight!

<3,

___________

From: namjoon@rkiveblog.kr

Date: December 25, 2017 at 12:24:55 PM

To: hello_yn@freshharvest.kr

Subject: Merry Christmas!

Christmas in Amsterdam is something else. I love it here!

Hope you and your family are doing well.

Yours,

KNJ

From: hello_yn@freshharvest.kr

Date: December 25, 2017 at 07:24:45 PM

To: namjoon@rkiveblog.kr

Subject: RE: Merry Christmas!

Hey Joon!

Merry Christmas! I saw your Amsterdam photos on Instagram and it is indeed beautiful! We’re having so much fun on this side of the world too. We made little Christmas trees and decorated them with real strawberries (baubles) and spun sugar (tinsel).

<3,

___________

******

It’s one of those nights again… streaks of colors decorated his blank canvas, creating an abstract in a rough floral pattern, depicting you… your softness, your femininity; depicting his longing. He didn’t know how to overcome those nights over the years, so he indulged them. He owed it to himself. It’s one of those nights again when he found himself running to the nearest payphone booth to call you from across the globe. It was secured, untraceable, and the minutes were limited. It would restrict him from pouring his heart out to you over the phone. He just wanted to hear your voice. He just wanted to hear your smile, as he closed his eyes, imagining you’re standing in front of him. He just wanted to numb his pain. He missed you… and the realization hit him like a tonne of bricks. He loved you. He was in love with you.

*******

Have any of the things that used to make me smile changed?

Is the way in which you talk still the same?

I have changed, I don't smile like I used to

I'm a little thinner than when I was with you

On the last days you comprehended me

I mistook it and believed you were imprisoning me

Saying that I was too manly for it, I didn't even say I love you

But my blank sheet of paper is now filled with your name

And when I call you while writing down and I hear your voice

Tears start flowing without me realizing

*******

True to your words, you both kept in touch over the years. Each major life event, each milestone; every occasion, every celebration, documented electronically via e-mails and social media posts and comments.

You cried over the phone to him when you opened your own farm-to-table restaurant. Solidifying and finding comfort for himself that your mutual decision of breaking up all those years ago was all worth it.

He couldn’t not tell you when his boss allowed him to go on a three-month long vacation, and like the kind-hearted person that you are, you invited him over to your restaurant insisting that you would be making him the best ‘welcome home’ meal that anyone would be jealous of.

The night before his flight back home, he rummaged through his inbox and reread your emails in the last few months. He mulled over your words and the photos you have attached. You looked the happiest– your eyes lighting up, forming into crescents, with every smile. It tugged on his heartstrings a little bit, wishing he was the person who could make you smile like that. But there are things that he couldn’t just bring back. The best he could do is to hold onto those memories… and maybe one day, forgive himself, too.

*******

Have any of the things that used to make me smile changed?

Is the way in which you talk still the same?

I have changed, I don't smile like I used to

I'm a little thinner than when I was with you

*******

PRESENT DAY

You ran up to him the moment he opened the door to the empty restaurant and gave him the warmest hug anyone could ever ask for. He couldn’t help but close his eyes as he rested his chin on your shoulder while hugging you back. You said you closed it down for the day because you wanted to focus on filling his tummy and not worry about the other customers.

“Joonie!!!” You giggled. “Oh my god, it’s been so long!”

“Ahh, it has indeed!” Namjoon straightened up and scrunched up his nose at you. “I smell something delicious!”

“Come in!! Come sit at your table!” You ushered him at one of the tables, a tall glass of iced americano and a selection of tea, already waiting. “Do you wanna know what we have on the menu for you today?”

“Pray tell!”

“Well, okay, I don’t want to tell you everything,” you rolled your eyes and he hated that he still found it cute. “But I harvested a bunch of greens from the back and made you a salad, with strawberries and feta! I’m pretty sure you’re gonna love the sweet and savory combination.” You proudly said, talking animatedly.

Namjoon couldn’t help but smile up at you. You’re like sunshine personified.

“And for the main course, it’s– oh gosh,” you caught yourself. “Just… surprise!”

Namjoon took a moment to take in his surroundings. Everything screamed you. The restaurant interior was cozy and rustic, and just gave off the farm-slash-barn vibe that you have always dreamed of. Just one look outside of the massive windows, and one would know that the restaurant served only the freshest ingredients, harvested and prepared in-house.

The door of the kitchen swung open and a brooding tall handsome man stepped out, approaching the two of you with a warm smile. He’s dressed in a chef’s jacket and Namjoon recognized him from the photos you sent him over the months. He knew who he is.

“Oh finally!” You acknowledged the man. “All good back there?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Namjoon watched as you stepped away to meet the man’s strides halfway. You snaked your arm around his waist and rested your other hand on his chest. Namjoon stood up with a smile and bowed to him politely in greeting, which he immediately returned.

“I can’t wait to finally introduce you two!” You said, eyes fleeting between the two of them.

“Hi!” the tall handsome man extended his hand to him for a handshake and Namjoon accepted it with both hands.

“Namjoon, meet our Executive Chef!” You smiled proudly. “This is my husband, Seokjin.”

*******

How is he?

Is he good enough to you to make you forget the days we spent together?

Please be happy, because you met a person good enough to fill the places in which I lacked

*******

[maxfreeman456]

Now We Know About the Facts Of Lougosi And How Most Fans Find It As Endgame

Trivia

Legosi and Louis are both canonically physically attracted to each other. They are the reason they realize their carnivore/herbivore fetish. In Chapter 91, Louis realizes his carnivore fetish in the car with Ibuki, but states that he thinks it all began with Legoshi. His words are "Because their bodies are strong, they have a profound sense of camaraderie. Because they hunger for meat, they always look like they're suffering somehow...why did it take me so long to realize this? I like carnivores. I think I have for a long time now, all because of that idiotic underclassman (Legosi)." In Chapter 114, Legosi realizes his herbivore fetish when admiring Louis.His words are "I look at his face and get the usual thought. Why are herbivores such beautiful life forms?"

It's revealed in one of the extras in the manga (Unpacking Legoshi's Belongings) that Legosi started carrying a nail file in his backpack after Louis drew attention to his hands [2].

In an omake surrounding Chapter 76, Itagaki makes a joke about Louis and Legoshi kissing/being intimate.The omake shows two girls talking to each other. One says, "I saw two guys hugging on the balcony today" (referring to Louis and Legoshi hugging on the balcony in Chapter 76). The other goes, "did you close the curtain for them?"

In the last panel of Chapter 77, the narration for Louis and Legosi's hug state that "even with their environments changed, they never lost their trust in each other. Only the moon sees them now.""The moon is beautiful" (tsuki ga kirei desu ne) is a euphemism for "I love you" in Japan.

Louis states that his leg hurts whenever something bad happens to Legosi.This was true for when Legosi got hurt fighting the drug cartel, and for when Legosi was shot by Melon. This is the only indication of anything supernatural in Beastars,

Louis can be seen blushing and fanning himself in one panel of Chapter 88, in the scene where Legosi is cross-dressed in heels and makeup.

In multiple panels of Chapter 96, the composition of the scenes compares Legosi's relationship with Louis to Riz's relationship with Tem. This is likely due to the fact that Legosi and Louis represents a good carnivore-herbivore relationship, unlike Riz and Tem. However, it is an interesting comparison because Riz's feelings toward Tem were heavily hinted to be romantic.Riz says in the scene, "it's the only thing...my feelings for him (Tem) are much stronger than your feelings for Louis-Senpai. Because he (Tem) never felt the same for me."

In Chapter 143, Louis can be seen blushing when he is with Legosi and the Shishigumi.Louis does not blush during his kiss with Juno and during his date with her in Chapter 194.

Legosi is the only character in the series (only Oguma, Kyuu, and San, who were part of Louis' past, as well as Bill who found out on his own and Ibuki) who knows about Louis being sold as meat in the black market in childhood.

Louis is the only character in the series who knows about Legosi's dreams of becoming an insectarium keeper (according to Legosi, Chapter 158).

Louis is the only character other than Jack and Yahya who knows Legoshi's grandfather.

Legosi is the only character in the series who has made Louis laugh on-screen, and is also the first and only character to see him cry. This occurs in Chapter 88, when Louis laughs at Legosi's cross dressing. The latter occurs in Chapter 95, when Legoshi is about to battle Riz.This excludes Louis' hysterical laughter when asking the Shishigumi to eat him, as it was laughter caused by insanity, not amusement.

The style in which Itagaki draws panels draws certain scenes between Legosi and Louis (light grey airbrush with flecks and hazy overlays) is the same style she uses for scenes between Riz and Tem and scenes between Legoshi and Haru.

The music that plays for Legoshi and Louis' play scene is the same that plays in scenes between Legoshi and Haru.The music is/is a rendition of "Beastars classical OST" by Satoru Kosaki.

Louis and Legoshi has appeared alongside each other in more promotional artwork than any two characters (Legoshi and Haru included).

Both Louis' and Legosi's sexuality is hard to categorize: Louis states he has grown to be exclusively attracted to carnivores (first mentioned in Chapter 91, confirmed in Chapter 143 as he vomits trying to have sex with a female red deer). When Oguma asks Louis whether he likes women in chapter 157, Louis does not answer. Similarly, Legosi is exclusively attracted to herbivores - mentioned and confirmed in chapter 114. Legosi also admits Pina (a male herbivore) to be attractive in chapter 66. Both are confirmed to have a carnivore/herbivore fetish.

While the author's original idea was to make Legoharu an endgame, there are many hints for a quite possible, future romantic relationship between Legosi and Louis after all - or at least for Lougosi being a semi-canon ship in a spin-off. It for sure has a big potential for eventually becoming more than just a fanon pairing. A lot of the Beastars fans are also questioning Louis's sexuality - especially after the chapter 157 in manga - and think he might be gay or bisexual. One thing's for sure - Paru Itagaki is teasing Legosi and Louis's relationship quite a lot and it's hard to say, if it's only ship teasing for the Lougosi shippers content, queerbaiting, or is she considering them really being together at some point. Additionally, we from interviews that Paru Itagaki does not outline all scenes beforehand (such as the LegoHaru scene in the love hotel), creating more potential for Lougosi in the future.

I knew there had to be a reason why so many fell for this ship early on, there are key facts explaining it

[jiminieloved]

Ultimate Jikook Timeline Pt 69

You Never Walk Alone Era Pt 4

1. May 2, 2017:

a) CNN Indonesia Interview

3:52 JK talks while making eye contact with Jimin

10:20 Jimin talks about the music he is listening to recently and says he has been listening a lot of JK’s song recommendations

13:25 JK says that if the wasn’t a a singer he would be doing Taekondo, Jimin laughs at his answer and JK looks fondly at him

b) Run Ep. 19

4:48 JK says Jimin used to play bowling with him

2. May 4, 2017:

Jimin Twitter post

#JIMIN #jk

3. May 6, 2017:

WINGS TOUR In Manila

0:54 21 century girl choreo moment 1

1:52 21 century girl choreo moment 2

4. May 8, 2017:

Manila Airport

5. May 9, 2017:

Gayo Track 14

5:06 Jimin bumps his rope on JK’s head

5:26 jikook together in the back, Jimin has his arm around JK

8:47 JK helps suga moving Jimin’s hand to Jin’s neck

18:30 Jimin and Jin act a scene and JK hides behind suga so he doesn’t see it

6. May 12, 2017:

a) NTV “Buzzrhythm” (Japan TV) (Broadcast)

b) Arrival at Gimpo Airport

7. May 13, 2017:

THE WINGS TOUR In HK

0:51 21 century girl choreo moment 1

1:50 21 century girl choreo moment 2

8. May 16, 2017:

a) Gayo track 15

2:59 Jimin suggests JK to go on camera to film the MV

8:17 JK films Jimin on the bed 

9:18 Jimin films JK’s scene

15:38 Jimin films JK again

15:49 JK looks fondly at Jimin

b) Sakigake! Ongaku

2:44 JK glances at Jimin

4:38 JK and Jimin look at each other when the interviewer mentions dancing, JK encourages Jimin to show his part while looking at him fondly

9. May 17, 2017:

Jimin Twitter post

Trans: Jungkookie (in) rehearsal #JIMIN #Kkook

10. May 19, 2017:

Incheon Airport (heading do Las Vegas)

11. May 21, 2017:

a) 2017 Billboard Music Awards

4:18 Jimin says that if he gained a little more weight, he would like like he was in the N.O era, so JK says he looks more mature now

4:26 Jikook playing with a little fan

14:24 JK standing behind Jimin

b) Vlive 1

0:48 Jimin filming JK

1:44 Jimin says JK looks really trendy

c) Vlive 2

0:18 cute eye contact 

1:08 JK looks at Jimin

1:22 JK looking at Jimin again

2:15 Looking at JK, Jin says that if they reach 100 million subscribers, Jimin will show his naked body, and JK says “what?”

2:45 JK looks at Jimin again (they share a lot of glances during this live)

12. May 23, 2017:

a) KIIS FM Radio Interview

1:33 JK stands super close to Jimin and puts his hand on his shoulder

1:52 It seems like JK was going to touch Jimin’s arm but hesitates

2:04 JK touches Jimin’s shoulder and arm again

16:29 JK puts his arm around Jimin, but Jimin takes it off

16:46 JK checks Jimin out while he speaks

b) Run Ep. 20

1:44 Jimin and JK standing very close

12:54 Jimin laughs at JK glazed potatos

13:15 they look at each other while JK makes a joke about the glazed potatos

15:02 Jimin laughs at JK’s joke again

13. May 24, 2017:

a) BTS Twitter post

b) Interview with Chelsea Briggs (picture)

c) J-14 Magazine Interview

0:08 JK stands behind Jimin and put his hand on his arm

3:41 standing close

6:00 JK says he has been listening to Troye Sivan

14. May 25, 2017:

Jimin Twitter post

Trans: My heart is still beating fast #JIMIN

Video translation: JK: Is this a photo? JM: You look manly today.

15. May 30, 2017:

Run Ep. 21

12:42 They change places and Jimin and JK sit next to each other

12:54 JK says Jimin is good at card-dealing

15:47 JK tried to tell Jimin what color to pick to help him with the game

16. May 31, 2017:

a) THE WINGS TOUR in Osaka

Jimin asks if the audience liked it and JK answers “I liked it”

b) Japan Official Fanclub Magazine Interview

Q: What do you want to challenge yourself this summer?

JK: I want to travel. I want to go to Japan or America. I’m still contemplating about where I should travel to. If I go to Japan, I’ll go to Tokyo. I’ll play ‘Your Name’ OST on my phone, strolling on the street while listening to the music.

Thank you @wingzie​ for helping me find the Japan Interview and many other things.

previous l next

[leamy-world]

Reaction to The Devil Judge (spoilers for ep. 9 & 10)

It’s been a while since i’ve last been on tumblr, but i got invested in this drama every week & the fandom’s analyses to not talk about it sometime! (Last time i was hooked, it was with Beyond Evil and i watched it by the time the finale already aired so i didn’t suffer from the weekly wait!)

So here i am, this is mainly self-indulgent with essay-long interpretations of some scenes in a totally random order, but i’d love to interact with whoever reads this if they want to react!

I’m sorry for the potential awkward phrasings, english is not my first language!

- The recap was nicely done and tied everything together, it made me realize so many things happened since the beginning! The repetition didn’t make me skip it, the narration was dynamic & fun.

- The ‘power display’ & threat Yohan showed to Soohyun (by lashing out at Juk Chang and strangling him, as proxy for Soohyun, in front of her while staring at her) were something …! She answered in the same fashion, passing by him saying she will ‘arrest Juk Chang’. I wonder how their next encounters will unfold.

- Many people already pointed this out, but Soohyun’s decision to leave Elijah, a minor, alone in her car (with its doors open, daring to tell her to stay there when she has no other choice anyway) + stop the gang alone and unannounced off duty was irresponsible. Anyways, i wonder if she will interact again with Elijah because they were adorable, i would miss it!

- The conversation between Soohyun & Gaon at his apartment (ep. 10) was interesting on both parts: 

It sounded casual, but Soohyun wanted to see where he stood in the Kang family and make sure he wasn’t in Yohan’s plans (i hope she didn’t seriously mean the ‘weird’ comment about Elijah, it’d be sad since Elijah enjoyed her company!).

Gaon was anxious professor Min told her about their last conversation (i think she’ll talk to him in the next eps). He also indirectly defended the Kangs by associating himself with them (« I’m pretty sure i’m just as weird ») and voiced his concern about Yohan, speaking more to himself than following the conversation at hand. 

When Soohyun changed the subject with the ‘i’m jealous’ bit, maybe it was to brighten the mood with a light-hearted comment, hoping Gaon would follow. And by the look of her pause right after, it seemed she was also expecting GO’s ‘positive’ reaction to her jealousy, giving in to the kind of teasing/flirt they have in their friendship. But deep down, it was also to voice her true unease about Gaon’s involvement with Yohan she had since the beginning and ep. 8. 

It’s obvious to us she meant she was jealous of Yohan. And GO could’ve understood it this way too, since she confessed to him multiple times and her feelings must be known to him (i think he takes it as a ‘joke’ given how many times she confessed and each time when he was crying, so maybe he thought, very reasonably, it was to cheer him up? I also guess he’s too absorbed by his current worries about the Kangs and her potential suspicion, to notice her attempts). 

But instead of that, he’s not in the same line of thoughts at all and picks up on the « rich », musing on what makes one’s existence rich, thinking Soohyun was envying Yohan’s position and life and proving her he’s indeed in a whole different world, empathizing with Yohan. 

She then looked like her face fell, until her eyes lit up again when he was about to admit she was precious to him along with his family.

By the way, this scene picks up right where we were left off in ep. 8, when Gaon tends to his plants:

« - Are you back for good? - Not really. They need some looking after. - You should come back, not drop by. This is where you live. - Someone there needs some taking care of too. - Take care of your own self, please. - What about me? I’m living a shamelessly comfortable life. Soohyun. - Yes? - What are you thinking about? - Nothing. By the way, Gaon … » (i wonder what she was going to say!)

Lost in thoughts, Gaon’s mixed emotions when he said Yohan was not rich (« he’s not rich. If you get to know him, Kang Yohan is really poor. ») were very well depicted by Jinyoung’s acting: the soft voice and the ghost of a smile that convey understanding and endearment, leaning on his counter in a relaxed stance, but also at the same time the stare lost in the space, maybe to all the memories tied to the Kangs and Yohan, and the tension in his left lip corner by the end of his sentence which betray his sadness and empathy with Yohan’s life. After this, when he became aware of Soohyun’s gaze, it’s like his bubble popped. He looked surprised with his eyes widening, and was fidgeting a little, then changed the subject to himself.

And « I have you, Soohyun » sounded truly grateful but also sad and conflicted, GO lets his worries show when she’s gone, maybe wondering if they would be bound to be against each other one day as he continues to side with Yohan, menacing to jeopardize their friendship to the point of no return. In these kinds of stories you expect these kinds of twists, but i grew fond of the cast send help

- I loved how Yohan’s confession to GO about his brother was filmed: the camera faced head-on his pain, slipping unbeknownst to him through the façade he always showed to protect himself. But this time, despite his (late) attempts to dismiss these feelings both for him and Gaon to regain composure (the hand gestures to hide his tears, pretending to be tough with the  « there’s no such things as innocent people », drinking away his sorrow with a bitter laugh that rings hollow), all this façade fades out in front of Gaon literally by being blurred out in the shot, as if he clearly sees his pain through (his silhouette appearing clear-cut between Yohan’s gestures). I know it’s a pretty classic shot but it fit well with this scene. He clenches his jaw in the next shot, moved by Yohan opening up. 

- The dinner scene was really moving …! Especially when you put the colder tones the kitchen had when we first saw Yohan have dinner by himself next to this scene, full of light in contrast! I wonder when the OST playing will be released, it was so beautiful and reminded me of My Mister’s OST (especially Rainbow!). I look forward to the lyrics, because most of the time the OST gives more layers & depth to the story and the characters! (please don’t let it be about Yohan’s budding feeling of a true ‘home’ ;;) I didn’t realize it upon my first watch, but Gaon really took the cutlery hostage, it cracked me up!

- The parallels in this show will be the end of me: Yohan went from the « i’m so sick of this place » (ep. 5) to asking K to drive him « home » with a delighted smile. 

- I liked the parallel of Yohan’s reaction to GO/Sun-Ah sitting in his office chair, impeding on his space (he reminds SA to stay out of it, the first time politely, the second time almost grimacing, his jaw clenched: « Just because you’re the head of the OSC doesn’t mean you can barge in like this (…) So please stop barging in like this. », while he says nothing to GO)

- At the beginning of ep. 10, we have Yohan saying he doesn’t like «  hanging out with people » & by the end of it, Soohyun saying « My childhood’s best friend is hanging out with a rich guy ».

- These two episodes gave more insight and nuance into Sun-Ah’s character, which was very nice ; and also Cha Kyung-Hee’s comeback (and her last confrontation with Sun-Ah!!!!)

- The people following Juk Chang also targeted sexual minorities according to the subs i had, i wonder if it will be addressed again sometime in the drama. 

- I loved Elijah’s « hacking » technique scene, i felt proud too! I always look forward to her scenes (and Kkomi’s too haha)! And her reaching out Gaon’s shoulder for the first time ;;

- The ‘humans lose their minds when they think they’ve lost what they have’ ……… repeated twice by YH ………… It will hit hard and all those lines will come right back at us viewers, but i’m not prepared haha! And also for the ‘if you want revenge, don’t hesitate’, i hope it doesn’t foreshadow a future revenge Gaon will execute without hesitation aaaaaa

Also, what lawyer Ko said about himself in ep. 8 may apply to Yohan’s case by the end, will he atone for what he did someday? (« I’m no longer a lawyer. I’m just a criminal. When all this comes to an end, I’ll pay for what i did. »)

- I really loved Yohan’s efforts to take into consideration both Elijah’s (he refrained himself from acting rashly like the last time she went out and listened to her) and Gaon’s feelings (stopping him from endangering himself recklessly, not forcing him onto the revenge path lest he’d regret it afterwards, and helping him to face the truth rationally). 

- « She’s hungry for affection. No matter how much you hate the world and the people in it, you can never live alone. You always need someone to rely on. As long as you’re a human being. » Many people commented on it, Gaon must speak from his own experience and empathizes with both Elijah and Yohan’s situation. These two episodes showed how Gaon cares for the Kangs more openly, and i live for it! 

- Give me that domestic scene where Gaon plays cards with YH, the nanny and Elijah! And also more K and lawyer Ko scenes!

- Jinjoo’s and Gaon’s intervention in the trial were gold! And Satie’s Gnossiennes rearrangement playing in the background during Juk Chang’s speech, it’s the cherry on the cake haha

- By the way, there was also an arrangement of Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto no. 2 during the first charity event Yohan went with Jinjoo in the earlier episodes, it was also beautiful!

- GO’s Awkward Smile. I have no words, it is now forever imprinted on my mind.

Have a nice week and take care!

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 6

Bitches Be Shopping

What is up y’all. A little late but let’s jump in with episode six of The Seven where our girls have just received a LOT of information, Sam most of all who got put into a little vision coma that she’s just now waking up from.

She explains the vision to her friends (as she interprets it, the other Eidolons didn’t die, just became part of the natural forces of the world) and then the bear that Penny made on a whim last episode (who is Russian, named Koda, and somehow a trained circus bear) gets into a fight with Katja with their friends buffing the two to make things more interesting because these are still idiot teens, life or death situation or no. Yelle decides to be the adult and tells them to knock it off and get back on mission.

That means Katja needs to call her dad since he’s knows the guy who’s the best lead to getting to TK ( Talcidimir Tallbreeze who I’ll call Tal). She actually manages to get her dad this time who is inside a giant snake on his hell mission. Katja asks what he knows about TK and he says she’s a sorcerer but also has a spell book so maybe she’s multiclassed. Sam and Ant desperately want to know if they boned and Katja absolutely is not interested in that knowledge. Yelle decides to just ask which makes her dad a little annoyed since he’s kind of in the middle of something (literally) and that annoys Ant, Ost, and Sam who--respectively, accuse him of gaslighting Kat, cast Command on him, and cast Bane on him to aid the Command spell. 

Mr. Cleaver fails the save and Ost commands him to tell Katja the truth. He admits that he did hook up with TK and he regrets it (note: it wasn’t like he cheated. It was just a casual hookup that wasn’t fulfilling it seems). Ost demands he apologize for not being there for Kat and Sam berates him for being at the top of the world and not lifting up his daughter too. For his part, Kat’s dad seems genuinely apologetic and promises to do better. 

“You don’t need to be the best father, you just need to be there,” Katja says, making her dad break down crying. 

Yelle, who has no daddy issues, is a bit less aggro and says that everyone makes mistakes and he can start making it up right now by helping with the Tal situation. She also gives them the tip that a cold spell will probably get them out of the snake lickety split.  She is on the money with the snake tip and Mr. Cleaver gets them all invites to a masquerade ball Tal is hosting. It’s being held on the Rumbosa which is this city-sized leisure ship. Mr. Cleaver says he’ll be back as soon as he can and, in the meantime, she should take care of her friends, “even the first 2 that were terrifying to me.”

The girls give Katja the axe they took as a birthday present (it was apparently her birthday the day before which Rekha just decided and Ost/Izzy refuses to accept without a fight because she *knows* Kat’s bday) which is identified as the Axe of Sundering (it can shatter objects, people, and sometimes concepts like halving movement). The two unnamed potions Yelle found are also ID’d as a Potion of Fly and a Potion of Gaseous Form. She distributes the Heath Potions to people without heals. Ant’s new arrows bypass some resistances and let her treat whatever she hits with the first one like it’s her favored enemy. 

According to their invites, the ship they need is docking in the city of Gravalvia soon (a very old city in the Baronies) so they need to figure out a plan. They have some downtime, during which:

Zelda tries to hype up the team.

Zelda tries to see if Ost is OK wrt dad stuff and Ost has a Full Breakdown after badly pretending she’s fine. 

While Zelda, Ost, and Penny are being Emotional and Sam is trying to literally cool them down with her powers, Ant and Yelle keep watch and experience emotional stability as the Adults Of The Party 

Anyway, after a night of rest, they head to the golden city of Gravalvia which is this very cool, very pretty city with mosaics and fountains and I assume columns. They get there and there’s a dramatic fight happening in the square which is halted when one of the fighters realizes that the country he’s fighting for doesn’t exist anymore. And now, it’s time for what we’ve all been waiting for. Shopping Montage! Let’s go girl by girl.

Katja and Ost

Kat asks for help from Ost with getting fancy for this gala since she’s never really done anything dressy before (and she had no mom to help--Kaaaat) and Ost is happy to oblige, dressing them both like “Jersey trash”. Kat, of course, still wears her Khakis underneath.

Antiope

Ant decides to get a vibe for what people here wear and picks something that will blend in but be forgettable so she can be stealthy. Classy blue dress and mask.

Penny

Penny...OK, I absolutely cannot describe what happens here in any way that will do justice to the scene. I am going to tell you what matters to the plot. You have to watch this yourself if you want to see the entire table have a collective breakdown. 

While looking for a costume, Penny runs into a halfling who is a member of the Society of Shadows--Laertes. He wants to know why she hasn’t responded to their invitation yet. She says she’s really eager to join, she just wasn’t sure how to respond (and also, she’s kind of in the middle of something). He says she can join by just messaging back and then her loved ones just have to sign waivers to have their memories wiped of her and she’s good to go. Say what now? asks Penny. She didn’t realize this was like a full Men in Black situation. 

He says it’s ultimately her decision and leaves.

Of course, I left out the parts where he ate a handful of Candy Heart’s remains, became violently ill, almost projectile vomited into Penny’s mouth, and she tried to kiss him despite him being a full adult. It’s A Lot, ok?

Also, we don’t find out until later but Penny picks a sexy duck costume for reasons that make more sense if you watch the scene but not *much* more sense. She also burns one of the healing potions on this dude as he is bar

Danielle

Danielle tries to get some info on the guests at the party and gets the names Lawrence LaDuc, Princess Autumn, and Duston who is the playboy cousin of Tal. She also hears some dude saying some colonize and plunder the earth BS and casts Heat Metal on him, fully mercing the dude. Ice cold. 

She tries to play it off like it’s the Curse of the Forest and when that doesn’t work and people start coming for her, she wildshapes into a dragon wyrmling and starts roasting people, killing 1 and dropping 2 to zero. 

Unfortunately, one of her party members is a known dragon hater and uses her new arrows to snipe her right out of the sky. Ant is horrified once she realizes what she’s done but Yelle says it’s all good. It’s NOT all good, says Ant, I STABBED YOU. You’re allowed to be mad! Yelle says she’s just really good at compartmentalizing but what Ant’s getting here is that Yelle doesn’t really believe that her feelings matter which echo the fears of her moms. 

Sam

Sam uses a combination of Mantle of Inspiration, glamour magic, performance, and good old flirting to get herself some killer clothes and also start a spontaneous musical number Giselle style.  

Brennan says she looks resplendent and, honestly, when does she not?

They reconvene, Zelda in a classic hoop skirt. Yelle realizes she never got a costume and just whips out a Met Gala level, autumn themed, Queen Mab-esque costume with Druidcraft which she could have done this whole time so I guess that’s why she was cool spending her shopping time getting gossip and playing Poison Ivy. 

They get to the ship and the way this works, everyone has to make an entrance and the really rich people (including Tal) are on a dais up top watching everyone come in. They all have to give fake names for the night since it’s a masquerade and they have to do Performance or Persuasion checks to see how impressive they look going in. 

Before they go in, they plan a little. Penny wants to look for TK. Sam wants to find Dunston. Ost wants to talk to the bouncers. Yelle wants to see if there are plants she can manipulate (there are btw) and for any exits. 

A quick rundown of how these all go:

Katja aka Mere (which means both mom and horse): 16 

Ant aka Midnight Huntress: 18 

Penny aka Penny Duckstone: 13

Zelda aka Madame Goodparty: 2 (Poor Zelda)

Sam aka Songbird: 22 (but she takes a hit to entrance save Zelda from totally flaming out)

Ost aka Stanley Gucci: 13

And Danielle, who never hogs the spotlight and is embarrassed to admit that maybe she does want to be the center of attention for once in her life with a Natural 20, gets a 29, absolutely bringing down the house as Empress Anima. As she walks forward she feels a voice say to her, “You got this. I love the name. You wear it well.”

Tal seems very impressed by her and a lady in a rabbit mask (Coeliabranca who I’ll call Coel if she comes up more) comes down to bring her up to the top with the high rollers. As she leaves, Sam casts Fly on her, just in case and holds the Concentration. 

Ost and Kat go talk to the bouncers and Kat decides to pretend to be her mom to get access to the area Yelle is. She rolls low and is told, “Hey, aren’t you already up there?” Kat is like, fuck and Ost saves her by using her charm earrings to get an entourage of guards who will let them through and do what she says. Once up there, Kat doesn’t see her mom which I can imagine she has mixed feelings about. 

Sam finds Dunston who is talking about Fantasy Bitcoin and seems like a real “Step on me mommy” type you know? Like, I feel like he’s into findom. Anyway, Sam charms him and his hangers on and learns about a procedure called a Phlebectomy that involves something going into their nose and then they feel better. Sam is rightfully horrified because, as I said, she is Most Likely To Survive A Horror Movie and can sense BS when she sees is. It’s apparently all the rage with the rich people here which is, como de dice, concerning seeing as they’re surrounded by them but we’ll get to that. Sam takes advantage of Dunston’s proclivities and gets him alone, knocks him out, steals him clothes, and pretends to be him (a *very* good scene by Sephie). 

Penny sees a gnome gnome boy (Lysander Higgins) shining shoes and finds out from him that there is a copper earth genasi woman here. In a very Cinderella move, she asks what shoes she was wearing. Then, she makes out with him which like, sure. At least it’s not a grown adult man this time. Before she gets her kisses in, she does tell the group what she learned. 

Up with the rich people, Yelle is introduced to Tal’s friend who is into Eidolons because of the name she chose. Between the shoes and her knowledge, they confirm that it’s TK! Yelle asks what she knows about Eidolons and she says that 7 is a very powerful number.

We cut to Ant who is patrolling the room as the sun sets and she suddenly hears a little beeping. It’s coming from a small crystal that was in Preston’s shirt (which she still has on her because???). Guests start dripping goo from their noses and transforming into monsters. Ant realizes that some kind of spell is happening triggered by midnight and this beeping. Hope these costumes are battle ready cause it’s fight time baybee!

Superlatives 

Danielle: Most Likely to Be on The News for Murdering Fantasy Jeff Bezos

I cannot imagine what was running through Yelle’s head when she decided that, having just rolled into a foreign country, her next move was to start using lethal force on anti-environmentalist colonizing capitalists. Like, she’s not *wrong* per se but she is wild--in all senses of the word.  

Random Thoughts

Kat keeps saying yesterday was her birthday which Ost/Izzy (and the rest of the group to a less vocal degree) are simply not having because maybe her dad would forget her birthday but her girls absolutely would not.

“You’re great because you stayed,” is the other killshot Kat line to her dad.

At a certain point Sam says, “This is so unhealthy,” to I think Yelle and like, if SAM is telling you your coping mechanisms are unhealthy, get thee to therapy.

OK, so someone, presumably Anima’s spirit, talks to Yelle as she makes her grand entrance which seems like info they should get to Talura ASAP, right? Cause that’s evidence they’re not dead-dead, just changed in form. But also Anima, girl. Don’t talk to Yelle. Talk to your rampaging sister!

"That's my secret, I stay in initiative."

Just a process note, notes are taken for the next ep and I am working on getting that recap up ASAP. As a battle ep, it will be in the abbreviated style that I did for last battle ep. 

In this episode, Penny rolls a Nat 1 (which she rerolls) and one of Brennan’s NPCs rolls a Nat 1. Ant rolls 2 Nat 20s, Yelle rolls 1, and Brennan says that one of his NPCs gets a 20 which sweeps him entirely into Sam’s dance number. 

[jeontaehui]

nananananana (210331 VLIVE)

taehee bites back a grin as fans enter the live. “hello everyoneeee,” she greets softly, her cheekbones lifting into a soft smile. “i’m in the practice room once again.”

“i was just learning a dance actually, it’s my break right now so this’ll probably be short,” she mentions. “and then i turned on vlive without asking permission— well, i did ask permission after i... turned it on,” she giggles. “she’s gonna say yes anyways. no one can say no to me,” the comments section blows up after she sent a sly wink to the viewers. she knew her effect on them one way or another. 

mark lee i love you HELLO THE TITLE?? IS THIS A SPOILER???

lee donghyuck’s long hair i only entered the live but i feel like crying T—T why must she be so cute

taeyongbub taehee in the practice room is so attractive??? wth???

taehee tucks a few strands behind her ear asking, “did you guys have dinner already? have you guys eaten?”

mataechan what did taehee eat today?

hyuckschurros PIZZA !!!!

“aw, pizza? i’m craving now,” she shortly puts on a pout before a smile shows itself once again. “i haven’t eaten but i think i’ll have........ um,” taehee seems to think for a moment as she looks up the ceiling, trying to remember what jungwoo said she’d have at the dorms.

“i can’t remember,” she shrugs, proceeding to continue reading the comments.

jungwoo tehet are you going to dance again?

aussiechan TAEHEEEE !!! come home to australia :(

svtzen DREAM SPOILERS PLEASEE

“the dance that me and my teacher did today was to party favors by tinashe! i have to practice some more to get it right but i’m,” she stands up and dusts off her track pants, placing the phone on the floor in front of the mirror, “going to show you guys the part where i’m most confident in.”

she disappears as she goes to the side to play the music, and the strong beats of tinashe’s party favors fills the practice room. she adjusts her pants around her waist and runs a hand through her black hair, ruffling her bangs for a moment before getting into position.

she dances. no matter how hard-hitting the choreography is, taehee knew well how to control her own body, and gracefully yet powerfully sync her movements to the beats.

taehee marry me she’s so hot what the heck do i do

markcity i’m single for this reason only

fullsunnn THIS IS WHY WE NEED A TAEHEE SOLO ASAP !!!

from the corner of her eye, taehee sees her dance instructor imitate the part where she got the dance wrong during their practice, causing her to lose focus and burst into laughter.

ncityinthehouse everyone, the duality of miss jeon taehee

“unnie is laughing at me right now!” taehee giggles. her eyes glance to the side then back to the screen. “yes so, until there did i memorize the dance. i’ll try to post on instagram the full version of it. oh!” she claps her hands excitedly, a habit nctzens took note of before she says an idea.

“since it’s a wednesday today and! the end of the month, you guys can comment whatever you guys want me to do or any question you want to ask and i’ll answer them.”

“i’m going to scroll with my eyes closed and whatever my finger lands on will be picked,” she cutely asks if the viewers got it before briefly explaining what she just said in english.

“i’ll give you guys maybe 30 seconds? is 30 seconds enough? okay, ready and start!”

taehee bobbed her head as she counted the numbers in her head. “30! okay, i’ll close my eyes now.”

juhfahm skincare routine?

merrymark give us a phone tour :D

twiceyeon please watch switch to me by dahyun and chaeyoung !!!! <3

“from twiceyeon,” taehee reads, putting her emcee mode on. “please watch switch to me by dahyun and chaeyoung! ohh i think i’ve seen this on my recommended but i haven’t had the time to watch it— sorry, chaeyoung-ah,” she winces.

you can hear keys being tapped on taehee’s phone screen as she typed the title on youtube’s search bar. the music video appears a few seconds later and she immediately clicks on it.

“oooo dahyun-ssi is very pretty,” taehee says. her expression quickly changes when she sees the twice member use her foot as she played the piano, her hand going up to cover the giggles that escaped out of her. “this is so cool,” she beamed.

“oh sexy!” taehee exclaims after chaeyoung appeared. “i really like chaengie’s short hair.”

she compliments the set when the scene changes, a summer pool vibe replacing the vintage set-up at the intro. “the dance is cute too,” she mumbles.

she smiles at chaeyoung and dahyun’s playfulness in the music video before moving on to compliment her best friend again. “chaeyoung is seriously so pretty... whaaat!”

taehee continues to watch the rest of the video as she moves to the beat, occasionally letting out a chuckle or two at the adorableness of the duo.

“hold on,” she grabs her earphones and plugs them into her phone. “(it’s) to avoid copyright,” she smirks.

taehee finishes the music video with a grin on her face, “the music video was very cute! did they perform this on stage? i think the stage set and the fits would’ve been pretty.”

“speaking of music videos, baekhyun hyung’s new album just dropped yesterday! have you guys watched the music video?” taehee shuffles closer to the camera to read the comments. almost everyone was saying that they did, in fact, watch the music video and really enjoyed it.

“i never said this directly to him but i really am a fan of his, seriously,” she dictates. taehee breaks into a grin as she giggles again, the viewers watching how her eyes twinkled while she talked. “‘bambi’ is really great— it’s immaculate. you guys should stream the whole album and recommend it to your family and friends. baekhyunie hyung never fails to deliver (good songs).”

bbhubblegum taehee promoting baekhyun and other artists better than sm pt. 74628392

going on her phone, she mumbles, “and i really like the choreography of his songs.” there was an adorable pout to her lips as she spoke, much to the amusement of the viewers.

then she looks up from the device in her hands and her eyes hold a certain glint in them before she playfully squints. “just be quiet about this though. i am never gonna hear the end of this from him,” she shakes her head with an amused chuckle, recalling all the times baekhyun teased her and the ‘admiration’ she has for him.

“you’re my only bambi bambi,” taehee sang effortlessly. “it’s a perfect night for you,” her tone was a little softer this time.

“okay so that was our first request? dare? of the live, let’s get to the next one right away!”

taeheeroar do you listen to the neighborhood?

wooyoungification do you want to collab with anyone? if so, who?

“the next one is.... wooyoungification! ooo wooyoung-ah hello,” taehee says, prolonging the last syllable of her sentence. “they asked, “do you want to collab with anyone? if so, who?”

“well,” she clears her throat, furrowing her eyebrows as if she were in thought. “there are a lot of great artists out there. taylor swift is already my answer by default but,” she giggles again, “if i have to think of people outside sm, i think it’d be nice to have a collab with stray kids’ 3racha. they’re their producing unit if i’m not mistaken. it’d be fun to work with them.”

“i also had this dream of having a collaboration stage with the other dancers outside nct, like blackpink’s lisa or seulgi unnie. would you guys want that?”

midzyseason this isnt good for my gay ass

reveluvbar can taehee just take over sm

taehee hums, “i think i never mentioned it before but i wanna try doing drama ost’s too. i don’t watch as much dramas as i do before, but when i was still learning korean, they helped me so much.”

“i watched ‘guardian: the lonely and great god’ a lot and i really liked ‘stay with me’. hopefully, i can collab with punch too.”

taehee unconsciously moves her lips to the side, forming another pout and thinks again. “from sm, i think kai hyung? not counting superm, okay?” she beams.

“kai hyung and,” then a snort escapes taehee before she could even stop it, “baekhyun hyung.”

she puts a hand to her chest once she recovers from her mini-giggling fit before holding it up and swearing it was the truth. “these two were the ones that came to the top of my head, seriously.”

beansprout lolll remember when kai used to “complain” about taehee ever only talking about sehun cause he was the one she was closest to in exo when they first met ?

sodangerous it’s so touching how taehee looked up to exo while she was still a trainee and now they’re like family

taehee nods and bites her bottom lip, asking herself, “why do i feel like a youtuber?”

she smiles to someone off screen and quickly glances back to the camera, “next question!”

asteroidsung what did you get for renjun’s birthday?

“what did i get for renjun’s birthday? i just gave mine literally yesterday. i know it’s summer but i gave him a hoodie that i thought would look cute on him,” she smiles. “it was pink.”

“i was with haechanie when i bought it.”

chenlezoned hyuck said he’s gonna marry daegal next month

“hyuck’s gonna marry who now?!” taehee exclaims, “DAEGAL’S A MINOR!!!”

dreamtopia BYEEEEEEE

themissingpuzzlepiece everyone at haechan marrying daegal:❓❓meanwhile taehee: 🌋🌋⁉️

boohoohyuck sending my prayers to lee haechan

just then, taehee’s phone suddenly rings and her eyes widen at the caller id displayed on the screen. “wow, this dude’s timing is really! spot-on.”

she puts the speaker on, “donghyuck-ah, what’s this i’m hearing that you’re marrying daegal?? are you leaving me and chubs already?! oh and you’re on speaker.”

fullseun don’t you just cry on the inside when markhee calls hyuck by his real name or fullsun

you hear haechan’s boisterous laughter first before he could answer taehee’s question. “i talked about that on vlive,” he said, “where are you?”

“i’m doing vlive.”

“but it’s almost midnight.”

when taehee makes no move to answer, haechan goes, “are you in the practice room again?”

“so?” taehee answers sassily, causing the boy on the other end of the line to groan.

“noona, we talked about this already,” haechan whines. “then we can talk about it again later!” taehee shrugs exasperatedly. “noona....” the former warns, as if he was scolding a child. “i’m just on a break,” she gives in, “i’ll go home soon.”

“promise?” taehee rolls her eyes, though it was clear that she was grateful for haechan’s concern by the soft smile she held on her face. “i promise.”

taehyuckles i know i wished for a taehyuck live but this will suffice Gosh they are so cute !!!!!!

“you haven’t said hello to czennie,” taehee reminds him. “czennie, hello!!” he greets sweetly.

“anyways, i just called you because you agreed to playing a few rounds with me but i’ll just wait for you until you get home,” taehee winces at his statement. she might have forgotten. “oh right, i’m sorry. just a few more minutes?” haechan hums affirmatively from the other end.

“get home safely, noonaaa,” after they exchanged their goodbyes, taehee hangs up the call.

“yes, okay! everyone that was lee haechan on the phone with me and i think i can do,” she turns her back to look at the wall clock in the practice room, “three more comments.”

yangqied taehee’s an idol in the day, pro-gamer by night

“okay, so our next question is: are you friends with aespa? yes! i am friends with aespa,” she beamed.

“i actually saw them the day before their debut stage. my time slot in the practice room was after theirs and so we met there,” taehee recalls. “they’re very pretty! and they look cool when they danced to ‘black mamba’. i wished them luck on their debut stage,” she chuckles.

taehee closes her eyes and proceeds to swipe at the screen, “next question is... oh! i dare you to post on instagram. okay, let me find some photos and show you guys so we can all vote.”

“i’ll send them on bubble but i’ll show it here too in case you guys don’t have a subscription. that’s okay.”

markerlee tb to when taehee sent her pcs to bubble... she really said fuck capitalism !!!!

“okay, option 1: this one,” she brings her phone up to the screen, showing a picture of her with the bird filter on mac.

jisungbye I LIKE THIS ONEEE

kunniekunkun this one’s cute!!!

moloism markhee pls post ur photos with the mac filters im begging you

“orrrr this one,” she faces her phone towards the camera once more. she was sitting on the pavement with the view of the orange-pink sunset behind her, a mask concealing half of her face.

the127thsense everything just screams girlfriend material to me

deryqueen taehee, i am free this friday. i repeat, i am free this friday.

solhyuck i think you should post these as a set on instagram!

“what should i post on instagram? everyone choose between 1 or 2!” taehee tells them in korean, before switching to english. “you guys pick between the first one and the second one, and i’ll post it on instagram.”

oncezenni 2

flamboyanthyuck the second one!

ohmajesus i like the first one

iamjeno second pleaseee

“mm okay, most of you are voting for the second one so i’ll be posting that first thing tomorrow! and then i’ll just send the other one on bubble,” taehee puts her pinky finger up as she speaks, making a promise to the viewers.

“how many was that? two already?” a pout subtly makes its way on taehee’s lips and a few of her hair strands fell in front of her face, causing her to push them back as she huffed. nctzens found it adorable!

takeoffbesttrack can i kiss you.

“can you kiss me?” taehee presses her lips on the tips of her fingers before lightly tapping them on the screen. “i,” one of the corners of her mouth raises to a smirk, “kissed you.”

mahaecries GODDDD

tenvely you will be the death of me

deryqueen AGAIN TAEHEE I AM FREE THIS FRIDAY NIGHT !!!!!!!!!!

taehee giggles after seeing the comment section blow up and her dimples peek out from her cheeks.

“i’m gonna have to end this soon, guys. this is the last one, okay?”

haecity can you go live with markhyuck?

snoopyscoop do you have any more funny stories with jungwoo?

taromilktea did you see sungchan when he debuted as an emcee?

“did i go see sungchan when he debuted as emcee? nooo,” she frowns, “but i did call him on facetime.”

“he said he was nervous but i told him he’d do great! and he did, right?” taehee’s frown was quickly turned into a proud grin. “i watched a replay of it on youtube the day after. he was very cute.”

“i told him to just think of it like he was talking to us so he’s more comfortable, and he told me it helped a lot so i’m relieved,” she nods. “i sent him churros too!”

taehee shuffles closer to the camera and brings her knees close to her chest while she talks, “please support him! i know sungchanie’s glad to have received this opportunity that’s why he’s been practicing diligently.”

taehee reads a few more comments and smiles at the funny ones. the humor of nctzens never fail to make her smile. the memes they send during menpas are so hilarious that she can’t help but reply to most of them.

taeheespresident i guess she’s gonna end the live now? :(

jungwootehet it’s nearing 1 am and i still have school tomorrow...... whoops!

“i’ll have to go now guys, it was nice doing all this with you,” taehee softly mumbles.

“i like this idea of having you guys comment what you would want me to do ‘cause i’m able to connect with you guys more, i’ll try to do a live again soon.”

“the weather’s nice here in korea— well at least for me,” she chuckles, “it rained recently but it might be hot? in other places so please remember to stay hydrated and drink lots of water.”

“also wear your masks and keep social distancing! we’re not only trying to protect ourselves but we have to stop the spreading of it all so,” taehee gives another small smile at the camera as she reminds the people to be careful, “stay safe.”

after a few beats of silence, taehee speaks again. “okay so, until here is taehee’s nananananana live!” she sings while doing the infamous choreo of ‘go’.

empathy127 I KNEW IT WAS FROM GO !!!!

“good night! or good morning to those who are starting their day right now,” she adds, “goodnight! we’ll see you guys soon.”

taehee does her infamous ily hand gesture and winks at the camera before waving bye and ending the livestream.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Ateez: Going On We Got Married

Kim Hongjoong:

Anxious was the word to describe Hongjoong when he was about to meet his 'wife'. He kept looking over at the camera man, waiting for the signal that would allow him to open the door to the room where you were already waiting in, another camera crew capturing your reaction as well.

"I can go in now?"

Getting the ok, Hongjoong took a deep breath and opened the door. He peeked his head in and burst into a nervous giggle when he saw you. You in turn, covered your face to hide your blushing cheeks. The situation was just so funny and new to both of you rookie idols that you couldn't help but be shy.

"I guess I'll introduce myself. Hi, I'm Ateez's leader, Kim Hongjoong." He bowed to you.

"Hi, I'm [insert group name and position], L/N Y/N." You responded awkwardly.

The staff couldn't help but chuckle and 'aww' at your cute interactions.

"We're already like a newlywed couple. Can't even look at each other in the eyes." You pointed out.

"I'm sorry, it's just....... it makes me more nervous knowing I got such a pretty wife." Hongjoong confessed.

His comment made you cover your face once again.

"Oh thank you. You're very handsome as well." You complimented him, and Hongjoong swore his heart stopped for a minute.

"Can we get you two to pose together for a few pictures for the fans and viewers?" The director asked.

It was awkward at first, trying to figure out how to position yourselves.

"Is it ok if I touch you?" Hongjoong wanted permission before laying any finger on you.

You nodded and he instantly wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. Both of you could feel your hearts pounding against your chests, you wondered if the other could hear it. But the awkwardness was soon gone and you both got very comfortable with each other, capturing some very cute and adorable photos that the viewers were going to eat up. In no time, were you guys about to become the most popular couple, both on and outside the show.

Park Seonghwa:

It had been a month into your 'married' life and it was time for a new challenge chosen specifically by your fans. Seonghwa and you entered into the location given to you and were confused when you guys saw it was a daycare center. You both looked at the director for an explanation.

"The challenge fans wanted to see you do was the daycare challenge. For the day, you'll transform into caregivers and take care of the kids here."

Both you and Seonghwa looked dumbfounded.

"What is this?" You laughed slightly at the situation your fans decided to put you in.

"Ahh really Atiny?" Seonghwa shook his head.

Soon you both changed into the proper attire and after going through a quick tutorial with the women in charge, you guys proceeded to go meet the kids. It actually proved to not be so hard and both of you were having fun with them. It surprised both of you to see you were actually good with kids.

"I had so much fun." You told Seonghwa when you went back to your 'home.'

"You were so good with the kids. They really loved you." Seonghwa said as he picked at his plate of food.

"You were not bad yourself. Remember the baby that wouldn't stop crying until you held him? I bet Atinys will love it." You smiled at the memory.

Seonghwa blushed and was hesitant to ask, but he really wanted to know.

"Do you think you'd ever want kids?"

You instantly lit up at the question.

"Of course I do! I'd love to have a family of my own one day."

Seonghwa wasn't surprised, he knew you were the mom in your group, just like him. It was something you two bonded over when you first met. You looked up from your food to see him staring intently at you.

"What?" You asked.

He only smirked before saying "I bet we'd make really cute babies" and winking at you.

You almost choked on your food, causing Seonghwa to laugh at your flustered state. You blushed intensely and threw a towel at him.

"Yah Park Seonghwa!" You nagged at him.

Jeong Yunho:

Yunho and you looked at the place you were staying at during the duration of your 'marriage'. It is definitely cute and had a lot of room. You two looked around the place like little kids, excitedly pointing out so many things. It was when you both looked at your bedroom that reality hit: you were going to be sleeping with a total stranger cause room only had 1 bed.

Yunho looked over at you and could sense how tense you got. Quickly, he nudged you with his elbow.

"If you want, I'll do something to really annoy you and we get in a fight." He suggested

"Why would we do that?" You asked, completely baffled by his suggestion.

"So you can send me to sleep on the couch and you sleep here. You know, like an actual married couple." He actually held two thumbs up and had a goofy smile on his face.

You burst out laughing at him. He never failed to make you laugh.

"No, I'd feel bad. Besides, your long limbs wouldn't fit in the couch."

Soon nighttime came and both of you were getting ready to go to bed. Yunho was currently in the king sized bed, playing around on his phone when you came out of the bathroom, face clean and makeup free. Yunho dropped his phone and just stared in awe.

"Stop looking at me like that! I'm already self conscious about being bare faced in the camera." You exclaimed.

Yunho only smiled lovingly at you. "Trust me, you have nothing to be self conscious about. You're absolutely beautiful."

You blushed but quickly got over it and got into bed with him.

"You better not kick me in your sleep." You warned him.

"I won't. I'll just do this."

With no warning, Yunho tangled his long arms and legs around you, encapsulating you into a giant embrace.

"No! Stop! I don't like it!" You shouted half heartedly.

"Don't lie, you know you love it. And if you don't, get used to it. You're stuck with me for a long time.... wifey." He teased you.

Kang Yeosang:

"Eek! I'm going to fall!"

You squealed as you tried to balance yourself on Yeosang's skateboard. It was the challenge set for you: you two had to share with each other your favorite hobbies and experience them together. The day before, you already had Yeosang try out [insert hobby here] and you two had lots of fun.

Now it was his turn and he was already excited about showing you his skateboarding skills, but nothing made him happier than teaching you a few things.

"No no no. It's ok. I got you ok?"

Yeosang carefully held your hands, slowly pulling you forward as you kept both feet on the board, trying not to think about losing your balance.

"What if I fall and mess up my face? I'll lose my source of income!"

Yeosang chuckled. It was one of the things he loved about you: your sense of humor even when you were scared to death.

"Don't worry. I won't let you fall, I'll catch you."

You and Yeosang shared a heartfelt smile and continued on with him pulling you. Everything was going great, until a dog suddenly rushed past both of you, making you lose your balance and almost toppling to the ground. Luckily, true to his word, Yeosang stopped you from getting hurt, locking you in a tight embrace. You both stood still for a moment, getting over the shock of what could have happened.

"Are you ok?" Yeosang asked, looking you up and down to make sure nothing was damaged.

"Yeah.... I'm fine. Thank you."

Neither of you let go for a while, you just stared into each other's eyes, simultaneously leaning on closer and closer before one of the staff following you two accidentally sneezed, making you two remember where you were.

"Are you going to add special effects and a drama ost in the background when this airs?" You asked so casually causing the entire staff to burst out laughing.

"Please play either the Goblin soundtrack or Boys Over Flowers, make it more sentimental." Yeosang added.

He picked up his skateboard.

"I think we've had enough for today."

"Yeah. I don't want to have my life threatened once again." You agreed.

"I told you I'd catch you didn't I? And I did. But now you need to catch something..." Yeosang paused and looked at you.

"What?" You tilted your head.

He hesitated before reaching into his sweater and then pulling out a finger heart.

"My heart!" He exclaimed in a cute voice.

Choi San:

From the start, you two were viewer's favorite couple. Your interactions were just so cute and adorable they couldn't help but eat them up. San was especially happy when he found out you were to be his 'wife', he already admired you since you debuted, but with this new experience, he knew for sure he had fallen for you.

It was more than a month into your marriage and you two had yet to share your first kiss. Everyone else already had theirs but you two. It just seemed you two never had the perfect opportunity to do it. But San was determined to make the moment, not for the fans or viewers but for himself. That's how you two ended up on a late night picnic date.

"Oh my God San!" You almost cried at how beautiful the scene was.

There were lights decorating the nearby trees, flower arrangements at every corner and fake candles around the blanket for your picnic.

"I hope I like it." He said shyly.

"I love it! Oh my God! It's beautiful." You couldn't help but hug him tightly.

You spent most of the date eating the delicious food he prepared and overall talking, with music playing from his phone. When a certain slow song came up, he stood up and held his hand out to you.

"May I have this dance?"

Of course you couldn't refuse him. Not when he smiled at you with his pure and sweet smile. You stood up and allowed him to wrap his arms around your waist, you in turn put them on his shoulders. You two just swayed to the music. You could hardly look at him in the face, you were still too shy around him.

San, however, took his chance and proceeded to dip you like in the movies, catching you by surprise. You looked at him and saw something different in his eyes.

"Can I...?" He asked you.

You smiled and nodded, knowing full well what he wanted. San leaned down and softly pressed his lips against yours. You returned the kiss, your hands going to to the back of his head. Even when he lifted you back up, San never broke the kiss, he simply deepened it and pulled you closer like his life depended on it. He completely forgot about the cameras and didn't care at that moment.

When he finally pulled back, he scanned your face to see your reaction. You were blushing and smiling widely at him.

"Was it ok?" He asked.

"It was perfect. You're perfect." You assured him, pecking his lips once more before laying your head on his chest.

San released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He felt truly happy having you in his arms. He simply grinned like a fool in love.

Song Mingi:

"Everyone, today as you can see, my lovely wife and I are going to cook breakfast together. As you all know, I'm actually an expert in pancakes."

You only rolled your eyes at Mingi's comments towards the camera, knowing full well he can't boil water to save his life. You were so focused on mixing the batter, you didn't notice he took one of the cameras and started coming closer to you with it.

"Here we see our pretty Y/N barefaced. She looks even more beautiful than she usually does today."

You looked over to see a camera all over your face, flustering you.

"Stop." You told him, trying to hide your face.

"I'm only trying to share your beauty to the world! Let me finish!" He protested, trying to film more of your face.

You responded by holding up a wooden spoon and threatening to swat him with it, making him quickly run away.

"This should count as domestic abuse!" He exclaimed.

You had Mingi watched the pancakes while you tried to set up the table. You took your time trying to make everything look as pretty as possible when a high pitched scream made you run back into the kitchen.

"What did you do?!" You shouted as you took in the smoke emanating from the pan.

"I swear I didn't do anything!" Mingi shouted.

"Yeah I can see that!"

You proceeded to put out the smoke that was now causing the smoke detector to go off. You thanked god none of the staffs were there with you at the moment cause they would have been losing their minds.

Once you got the situation under control, you looked at the completely burnt pancakes, your hard work gone to waste. You blinked slowly, trying to process what happened.

"I'm sorry Y/N....I really didn't mean- Oh god. You're mad aren't you?"

You looked over at poor Mingi, who looked so guilty and afraid of your reaction. You couldn't find it in yourself to stay mad at him.

"It's ok. I'm glad no one got hurt."

Mingi was taken aback when you hugged him, laughing softly at the situation. He started laughing with you.

"Does that mean you'll allow me to help you again?" He asked with hope in his eyes.

"Not a chance."

Jung Wooyoung:

It was finally the part of the show where you two had to meet your parents. Wooyoung and you were very much nervous even if it was just for fun and entertainment. You all met up at a restaurant and introduced everyone. It was difficult at first, your families trying to get used to being filmed and you two trying to make sure everyone was comfortable. But soon both your parents were having a good time poking fun at your expense.

"Honestly mom, what was your reaction when you found out who I was marrying?" Wooyoung had a smile plastered on his face.

"Truthfully.....I'm still not sure how she puts up with you and your loud mouth." His mom spoke honestly, causing everyone to erupt in laughter.

Wooyoung simply poked his cheek with his tongue, not very amused by the comment.

"If you ask me, I thought he'd get annoyed with Y/N." Your dad piped in.

"Why me?! What did I do?!" You exclaimed at your father's comment.

"You hardly talk and when you do, you tend to nag like an old lady."

Now it was Wooyoung's turn to laugh at you, and you simply glared at him.

"I do not!" You protested.

"Yes you do!" Wooyoung said.

The conversation soon took a better turn.

"In all seriousness sir, what kind of guy would you prefer your daughter to marry?" Wooyoung couldn't help his curiosity.

"Well I...."

All of you looked forward to his answer.

He turned to look at Wooyoung and patted his back.

"I actually like you for her very much."

Everyone was surprised by that, even Wooyoung himself.

"Right? I feel like they have such good chemistry together. I'd want Y/N as my actual daughter in law."

You blushed when his mother added her opinion.

"Would you guys consider dating for real?"

You and Wooyoung looked at each other. Sure things started off rocky with you, but over time you learned to put up with each other and found out you actually complimented each other. Wooyoung's extroverted personality helped you become less shy and not worry too much about things, whereas your calm nature helped Wooyoung to have more patience and self control. You actually couldn't imagine what it'd be like without each other in your lives anymore.

"Well I mean.....our parents approve, our fans ship it and we definitely are cute together....what do you say?" Wooyoung winked at you.

Choi Jongho:

It was the final filming of the show. Jongho and you were supposed to sit down and look back at all the fan favorite moments you had together and also answer a few questions they left for you.

"Is there any clip you hope made it into the top 5 moments?" The director asked.

"For me it's when I serenaded Y/N on our first date." Jongho answered.

You smiled at the memory. "That was cute."

"Were you surprised by my beautiful voice?" He asked you.

"I was more surprised by the fact you split my apple in half." You responded.

"I see how it is. You only like me for my strength, not my talent." He fake pouted, causing you to laugh.

You guys had your eyes fixed on the screen, watching the clip of when you first met and the reactions you had backstage without the other knowing, now watching what each of you really thought.

"Wow! You seriously thought I was going to be a boring stick in the mud!" Jongho was offended when he saw your interview when you said you thought your marriage would be boring.

"I'm sorry! You came in all intimidating onto the set! I was scared of you!" You explained why you thought that way then.

"You were scared?! You were wearing all black when I saw you! I thought you were planning to hex me or something with your creepy aura!" Jongho exclaimed.

"My stylist picked that outfit!" You said.

"Is her stylist here? I want a word with them."

The rest of the filming spent in laughs and reminiscing about the past weeks between you two and eventually the cameras stopped rolling and it was officially over............

It was over on the show, but not for you two.

"I'll pick you up after we're done with recording ok? I love you Y/N." Jongho smiled and pressed a kiss to your lips.

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.

[roo-bastmoon]

Do you think if jk hadn’t said the comment about jm tattoo there would be this much doubt ? (Because we haven’t seen much content recently so there obviously isnt much to go off)

I do think the lack of weekly RUN content contributes to the doubt. But I don't think it was any one thing that raised a huge red flag for me. Rather it was a lot of little things that hinted at... a shift in tone. Which could just be the lack of content. Or it could really be a shift in how they relate as they mature.

There was a time when Jikook selected cabbages they didn't prefer to make kimchi just to try to please each other's tastes and it ended up backfiring. Good lord, they were so in it, such a mess for each other. LMAO. But that level of consideration, of wanting to please and care for the other person, was something they regularly displayed.

Now? There IS some distance, I don't care what anyone says. You watch Jikook interactions from 2018 and play it back to back with interactions in 2022 and the whole vibe is different. Which is normal, folks change. But let's be real, it hits different. We can't be afraid to say "hey, that's different." We can't deny things just b/c it doesn't feel good--that's a delulu path and I won't take it.

When I consider if they are together right now (I believe they were totally together in the recent past), I ask myself when was the last time JK reached out and pulled Jimin close to him? Caressed him? Called him sexy? Praised his work? Knew his lyrics and choreo by heart? Stared at him until the rest of us felt like a third wheel? Told us something about Jimin that only he could possibly know? I see Jimin try to hug him or lean on him or mention him, but it is sometimes met with JK being aloof or blankfaced. Which feeds the trolls but that's not their problem, it's the trolls' problem.

So when JK didn't already know about the photo Hobi took of Jimin's back, or didn't hear Jimin's solo songs, or remember where Jimin got his friendship tattoo? There were already other signs they weren't as close. Doesn't mean they aren't together, just means they are together differently than what I'm used to.

Vegas seemed like Jikook were back on track with Jikookery, always together, plans to box and diet together... but that was a performance venue and a moment in time when things might have still been in flux, in terms of BTS' trajectory. They got home and again with the silence. Going to the beach and a festival and a game separately. (Normal couples do this, but Jikook had a history of just constantly being together, so it's different.) JK doing social media, Jimin avoiding it. Which is not unhealthy! Like, all of these are fine and normal choices, especially for long-term couples. They are two separate individuals. Jimin didn't even breathe a word about his own OST, never mind JK not bringing it up. What the hecking heck was that about?

But it's the vibe between them. Which is hard for me to quantify for you b/c it's a gut feeling. It feels like Jimin still is so taken with JK, always available and trying to reach out sometimes, but JK cuddles and teases and initiates far more with his other hyungs and doesn't always seem available to Jimin. They rarely are paired up for stuff this year, and that recent Proof photoshoot--Jimin didn't even look at Jungkook once that I could see. It was stiff and awkward. Like, even between setting up photos, they didn't really look at each other. That's not the Jikook I know!

(I compare that to when JK seems to be so totally open and delighted by Jimin--whispering in his ear and putting his cold hands on Jimin's neck during the Seoul concert... tapping Hobi right off that couch and onto the floor so he could sit next to Jimin and smack his thigh... like... I just get whiplash, I am telling you!!)

Maybe we'll get memories and behind the scenes and bombs and music performances that show them all up in each other's pockets just like always, and I'll be a clown to have ever doubted, and I'll be the first one to shout from the rooftops I'm a clown and thank god.

Jimin told us "there are things we cannot tell you and that's painful and sad." I'll just bet. I hope someday they all feel safe to tell us their true stories. For now, all I can do is take what I see in original contents, parse through it with kind-hearted fans, and support them. My insecurities are based on gut feelings I get while watching such a very small slice of their lives. So I write about it here in the hopes someone can point to evidence and go "Look at this! They are still very very much in love, it's all right here!" and then I can go "Oh thank goodness! I was such a silly goose!"

I'm oversharing here, but I'm battling a uterine cancer diagnosis. BTS was my happy place. Jikook fills my hours up with joy instead of anxiety. So if I seem obsessed by this, it's because focusing on real life right now is a bit too scary. So please take everything I say with a grain of salt. Truth is, I don't have any special insight or answers. I'm just looking at the content available to me and wondering if Jimin and Jungkook are doing all right. As long as they are all right, I'll feel all right.

[life-rewritten]

ITSAY EP 4/5- PROTECTION, THINGS I’LL NEVER SAY AND EASY PROMOTIONS

Warning another painful post coming. Episode 5 of ITSAY trailer focuses on Oh and his decision to walk away from all things Teh and move on. This hurts so much, and because I have spent almost all of last week seeing things from Teh's point of view, I started to feel angry and disappointed at Oh. I'm not sure if that Bas scene where he's holding hands with him and swearing to be with him forever is a fantasy (I hope it is, I hope we're being misled as the trailers have done that a lot, for example, Tarn's reaction to Teh and Oh and them singing the ost to each other scene). I'm not sure if Teh will be strong enough to pass these exams if he even sees a glimpse of Oh and Bas and I'm worried for both of these twos mindsets during this. So here are things in OH's perspective before tomorrows episode comes out. And to be honest, if I cried for Teh because of his self-sabotage and hindrance, I cry for Oh because of his self-loss, doubt, and destruction. Let's begin:

Oh: Protection, Things I'll never say and Easy promotions.

Thing is from episode 1 (mirroring episode 4 and 5 in which we see the fulfilment of many clues and hints to our characters) we've seen that Oh is like this when he gets hurt: he can be resentful, secretive, and put up a front that he's good. We were introduced to his dynamic when we saw him and Teh fall out at a very young age, we saw his dreams: he didn't have one, he always gave up and didn't care about things too deeply until he started practising acting by Teh's side when they were kids. Sometimes I think he's Cancerian (Like me!), like the crab horoscope he ends up burrowing back into his shell for protection when things don't work out;

WHAT IS PROTECTION TO OH

Avoiding all things to do with Teh: Refusing to have anything in his mind connected to Teh, i.e. rejecting the application for the university, so he doesn't owe Teh. 

Returning to a safety net (something that has been proven to be safe to lean on): Having Bas; who he started of crushing on, feeling good by his side, and someone who he fell for because of his kindness, understanding and actions that show Oh is a priority to him. 

Returning to what is easy for him when it comes to feelings, and letting Teh be with Tarn. Giving up on his dreams and relying on his parents to offer him an alternative pathway; Luckily Teh has done something (given him his spot in university), and  I think him doing this though will  cause a push for him to fight again for him or just go to inquire what’s happening but I think he’ll misunderstand Teh, get hurt again and then move to Bas as we see in the trailer. 

For the protection of his mind, and heart, Oh resorts to accepting he gives up on things easily. Its easier to not invest in things when they hurt you, reverting back to the time and person he was when his friendship group was without Teh (in episode 1 which is going to mirror episode 5) and going back to the time when he was starting to heal and be confident after Teh left his side when they were kids. 

When hurt, he burrows deeply, hides away from the truth and pretends everything is fine. He warned Teh in episode 1 that he won't let him in so quickly, because he's always held resentment and self-doubt because of what he said when they fought at a young age, he warned him that their friendship wouldn't be able to go back to the way it was. Plus it took almost all of episode 2, to pry out that intimacy back with Teh we had to watch Teh lose his mind because Oh refused to open up easily and we watched Oh be scared of the intimacy and try to play it off as nothing. (I spoke about this in this post here)

Protection of Himself, Teh and Others

 So it makes sense that once he realises how much being with Teh isn't good for him (dealing with Teh's up and down feelings, losing his individuality and self-esteem rapidly, and also just breaking down to the point of exhaustion),  Oh of course snaps! He regresses back to keeping distance, he'll speak to Teh. Still, they can't be close; he'll be civil. They'll be rivals again during this exam, but they can't help each other out, because helping each other out is a hindrance for both of them with these feelings; mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

They can't focus when they're near each other; they can't think straight about themselves when it comes to the other;

 Oh can see that Teh is losing his dreams; something he would never do because he let him know how important it was to him with their first fight when young and Oh has been the person who knows how desperate Teh wants to be an actor. The very first person who believed in him and saw him prove he could do it. He's giving all that up for Oh; it's something he can't accept, something that makes him feel so guilty, uncomfortable and  feeling problematic. So he has to avoid thinking about it, he has to prevent what it means for him and Teh, he has to avoid thinking Teh didn't make his dreams come true because of him. 

On the other hand, Oh is giving up on his confidence, and pride for Teh. He's rolling around crying continuously, losing his focus on his goals, losing his love for himself, and regretting the gender he was born with. It's too much for someone like him; it's belittling, insulting and painful. 

THINGS I’LL NEVER SAY: SECRETS AND LOSS OF INDIVIDUALITY

Just Look at the things that revolve around Oh in this episode; the title of this post we have Things I'll never say shirt he wears when he and Teh give into their feelings. It's all to do with secrets and perception of self (loss of esteem, ego and self). 

With the things I'll never say, a T-shirt, that's precisely a symbol for who Oh is before Teh shows up. He likes Bas, but he's secretive, he's quiet, hidden, he's scared of being hurt, so he doesn't take that leap, he knows the consequences of it; Oh overthinks about that so instead he retreats, he hides and accepts that it's acceptable this way. 

Truth is Teh enters his life and forces him out. Teh teaches him how to trust and communicate/show how he's feeling. But it's like once he and Teh get past that line and he falls for him uncontrollably, he feels like he's back to  square one. He tries to convince Teh that it's okay if he's kept a secret, but we know it's not fine, he's regressing again, he's being forced to be hidden like he's some sin, something terrible, something that shouldn't be on the surface because he's a boy. After Teh made him feel confident and able to take steps forward, to start caring about things and being more connected with things, the result of it was just more pain, insult and exhaustion, and the most painful ironic part of it was that also was because of Teh. 

For Oh it's like he's proven right with his mindset from episode 1-2; he shouldn't get close, only to people who show repeatedly proof that they're there like Bas. It's only once he has 100% evidence that this is normal, and okay that he falls back to lean on that. 

He doesn't like things complicated; we see it when it comes to the exam,. He gets things his way generally because he's good-looking and charismatic (again shown in episode 1).  Even for acting/fame in episode 1, he got it easy because of this, when it comes to the actual hard work and the translations he struggles, he's frustrated, and he wants to give up. 

The only reason he didn't was because of Teh.  Oh knows this by the way,  about himself and he worries about it because his father also sees him in episode 1, this way. That's why he's even more frustrated and hurt when Teh calls him out on it; Everything that happens to him is because of his looks, his charisma or his connections, that's why the next title Easy promotions is also connected to him.

EASY PICKINGS/PROMOTIONS; GUILT AND SELF DEPRECIATION 

Again Chinese translations in this show are meta and used to back shadow and foreshadow what's going on with characters and the plot. In episode 4, we also see the translation for Easy promotions/pickings when Teh makes the tutorial guide for Oh. That's why he's upset when Teh gives up his space for him again; it's insulting to him because yet again he's gotten an acting spot because of something other than his hard work.��

Remember because of Teh he spent eight years working hard trying to get into the university just to prove to himself, family and friends that he also got things because of his own efforts, and his own diligence. 

Once he and Teh reverted back to rivals, it felt insulting for him because it felt like Teh was mocking him all over again with checking the test results, with giving him his spot for free or to make Oh feel grateful and go back to being friends with him. Teh was telling him  basically with his actions ‘I don't see you being able to pass this exam on your own. ‘That was another belittling thing for his self-esteem. Oh felt depreciated because of how people perceive him, Teh is the person who showed him that. 

But can you blame people, though? 

Because Oh tries to be protected from disappointments and rejection (because of that burrowing back to his protection), he seems inconsistent, fake and unreliable. 

He gives up immediately when the going gets hard; he gives up on the exams after all the hard work he did just because he no longer wanted to keep the dream with Teh, it brings the question does he really care about the acting thing or has he just be doing this all along for Teh? 

He gives up on Teh as well, and I get why he does, don't get me wrong, but still, he gives up and runs away when he feels insulted and tired. 

And from episode 5 trailer he truly moves on to the next thing and pretends everything is fine. That's not okay for me, but I get why he does it.

It's hard for me, to see how easy he moves on and gives up on things he says are important to him, to trust him when he says that acting is also his dream, but then when I look at the hard work he's put in, and the excitement he had when he told Teh in episode 1, that he wanted to join him to do it too, I still feel for him. 

Teh; Oh’s Aspiration

However, I do think it's not the acting that is his dream; it's just the being rivals with Teh and being by his side he aspired to. It's the same reason why he was meant to pass the exams, so he runs by Tehs side to scream at the sunset. Teh was his aspiration. 

And Teh revived it even more in episode 1 and 2 by coming with that suitcase of revision books to make Oh keep trying to get into acting. When he pushed for Oh to wake up and work hard and study for the test . But in Episode 4 when Teh was no longer a good source of joy in his life, he gave up and became lost and confused. 

That's why he rejected the offer when Teh gave up the acting spot to him if Teh didn't do the application why would he want to do it when the very reason he wanted to was because of Teh in the first place? 

The Bra Scene; Easy Promotions vs Vital  Rejections

The ironic thing as well about easy promotions are that even if on the surface it seems like life gives Oh everything he wants easily without effort (when perceived by people), in episode 4, he realised that life didn't give him the one thing he wanted; to be promoted/chosen as the right person for Teh. 

As he goes through his self hate, doubt and loss, he questions if he should have been born a girl if he was a girl, would everything be better? Why was he born to suffer such pain? Why didn't life make it easy for him? 

That's all he thought with the bra scene. He felt humiliated, broken and hateful that he wasn't what Teh wanted, he didn't have the boobs Teh wished to touch each time they became physical, and he didn't have the appearance Teh would have found acceptable. His sense of self warped with what Teh wanted, that's why he posted the picture of him in the bra on Instagram. 

He lost his self, mind and ego for a moment, but then it came crashing back to him that he couldn't change who he was, and he broke down because of it. By the end of the episode, he reverts back to defensive mindset because he hated how much he did lose himself because of Teh

Teh and Oh both suffer from Vital rejections, though they’ve been easily promoted with all they wanted: Teh is easily about to get everything he wants; the girlfriend, the university entrance but he rejects it because of Oh and he feels even more rejected by life towards the end for what he really and truly wanted which is Oh by his side and being grateful to him. Instead Oh rejects his sacrifice and hates him further. Oh is easily promoted in life; he gets the waiting list because of Teh, an alternate pathway if he doesn’t go to university because of his parents,  love and affection because of Bas but he also gets gets rejected from something important/vital to him Teh’s love, affection and choice because of his gender. 

See they both feel rejected when it comes to the things they really needed and the thing that was the most vital to them although they actually are being given all they wanted in the beginning of the show by life.

TEH AND OH; SELF SABOTAGE OR PROTECTION?

Teh and Oh are different when it comes to protection; 

Teh gives and tries to appease others to ease his self esteem, and his ego, he sacrifices parts of himself so people are happy and he feels protected when he's seen by what he wants others to think of him (analysis of Teh here).

 For Oh, Oh hides himself to save his ego and self esteem, he retreats and doesn't take risks because they hurt and damage everything, he lives very safely and feels protected when everything is on the surface, evident and easy to see. (Bas's feelings, his family resort, and his fame on social media) 

That's why when he cries to his parents. he realised they were fine with whatever he did, he found trust and ease following his dads wishes because it seemed more accessible and better for him, he won't be judged, he will be safe from all things Teh, and he won't have to struggle and lose his self for the exam. 

That's another reason why he rejected Teh's application. The thing is it makes it even more painful for Oh because Oh also needs Teh as he needs him; as much as on the surface we know how vital Oh is to Teh (like boy can't breathe, think or act without him, the boy needs him 24/7, is encompassed by him and addicted to him), Oh needs Teh to be his true self also.  Ironic right? 

The Dramatic Irony of Teh and Oh

Teh is the one who is making Oh doubt and lose his self-esteem, but Oh is also not Oh when he retreats. Oh doesn't deal with genuine emotions, true wishes and dreams, true self when he isn't with Teh. Teh forces him to see things and want to take a risk. Teh pushes him either by rivalry, love, hate to do things because of him, Teh makes him question what he truly wants, who he really is, want to work hard to achieve something, want to care for something, and want to be something more than what he's been easily promoted to be. 

Teh's taunts haunt him and cause him to want to be better, he spent 8 years on a goal because of Teh, he spent all of the previous episodes choosing to run back and communicate and give Teh another chance because he doesn't want to lose their friendship, Teh helps him commit and Teh helps him stick to things he cares about, but also Teh makes him brave and confident to say how he's feeling. 

For Bas, he couldn't, but when it came to Teh, he was open, ready, eager and 100% sure Teh loved him the way he did. It's ironic that the most authentic version of Oh is right next to Teh, but in episode 4 the worst version of Oh (anxious, lost, doubtful and exhausted mentally) was also right next to Teh.

Oh's self-loss is just as painful as it was for Teh. These two both love each other so much, but because they are young, they don't understand how to protect themselves adequately when it comes to the whirlwind that is feelings. Feelings are crazy, they can mess you up, break you down, make you lose everything you know or want for your self, but with the right person, they can push you, make you brave, raise you up to your potential and make you know everything you didn't know about your self. Its dramatic irony the way love and feelings can be, and with this show it even more ironic that both Teh and Oh need to be by each other's side for both of them to indeed be themselves, and be free and be loved.

Writing about Teh before already broke me and I already started to be defensive for him but now I can get kind what Oh is doing and why he’s running away. To be honest he believes that the world isn’t good when he and Teh are together destiny doesn’t want them to be together because they’re bad for each other they’re only leading each other to hurt and more pain. And it’s painful and it’s sucks because it’s not true they’re meant to be together once they mature. So I really hope we do get a good ending for these two because right now the world does seem against them in their head and really all they want to do is run away and choose each other but for the sake of people they can’t. Just like in the song and ost Skyline it does seem like destiny wants them apart so should they give up? Well Oh and Teh both have become defeated and have decided to let destiny win. Oh to protect himself and to protect Teh too, and Teh for other people sake.

 Okay now, it's back to waiting anxiously for Episode 5 finale, let's pray these two find a way back to each other, let's pray for growth and maturity and communication before its too late.  Let's pray for sunsets and reunions and confessions of true love. Wish us luck.

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS: PROMISES, SUNSETS AND MALE PROTAGONISTS

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS; XIN THE FOCUS OF THE HEART

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS: EP 4 SELF SABOTAGE, HINDRANCES AND REVERSE HELP TEH’S PERCEPTION

[themightyaliendwarf]

TPN s02e06

Okay, let’s talk about this... episode. There is a one big thing that we need to mention, but we will get there when we get there. So let’s just start from the beginning: 

1. I’m happy that they didn’t just include Norman in the updated OP - we could see the lambda kids in there too, so that’s a nice touch.

2. Many people already mentioned Norman only calling Emma even though Ray is also standing there. I’m going to point that out too because there is no way that he would just ignore his best friend like that. But we all know why CloverWorks wrote this scene like that - because they just copied it from the manga. Now, I think that somebody forgot that in the manga, Ray isn’t present during that scene. I’m very disappointed with this moment in the anime because it just makes Norman look really bad. Actually, let’s say it, current anime-Norman is kinda an asshole.

3. Onto the big one. Do you know why the reunion scene doesn’t work even though they used dialogue from the manga? Because the context is weaker, it happened too fast, the characters don’t show emotions and they barely move. Look at this page from the manga, please:

You can see the movement, the emotion and with enough imagination, you can even hear this scene. It’s just a still drawing and yet it’s very impactful... and then comes the anime. A medium that can use image, sound and movement... how could they make this scene so flat? Where did the energy go? Okay, to be fair, I should assume that Emma was just hungry (because apparently our geniuses are not so genius after all), and that’s why her reaction was so weak. But Norman has no excuse here. 

Look at how soft he looks here. Look at how his expression changes after finding out about Emma’s ear, and how he later comes back to this soft expression after Emma’s carefree answer. Anime, you messed up. 

4. Speaking of messing up

That’s how you slap Norman. Or actually, you slap him even harder because anime-one is an asshole. ALSO, that line makes little sense without Goldy Pond. 

5. And then they just left this place. No problems, nobody is caring about two dead demons (and also those dying demon babies, I guess). Also, nobody noticed six or seven humans just standing there. 

6. Also, I find it hilarious that lambda kids just disappear after this scene. No questions ask, no ‘hello’ or shaking heads. No reaction for the ‘boss man’ getting slapped. Of course, that doesn’t happen because it didn’t happen in the manga. Not like we were supposed to get some anime only content, right? 

7. But on the bright side, the music is good. I like how they reuse OST from season 1, but the new one is also pretty good. 

8. Are we going to ask how, where and when they developed that drug? Not like I care or expect the answer. Not like it was an actually powerful reveal in the manga, because it showed how Norman’s team isn’t THAT different from people from lambda, right? 

9. And then Norman just leaves. You know, like an asshole. He could somehow help his FAMILY since he saw that they live in dirty and all... but nope. He just left. 

10. The conversation between Emma and Ray in chapters 122-123 is easily one of the most important and best moments from The Promised Neverland. It shows how much they both grew and that despite their differences they are able to work together because they believe in each other. Now, I am happy that they didn’t speed this conversation too much, but it wasn’t good either. 

As I’ve mentioned before, the expressions are weaker, there is barely any movement, the context isn’t there - Ray and Emma didn’t visible grew closer together. They just want you to think that they did. Emma’s struggle also makes less sense. Why? She didn’t experience the cruelty of Goldy Pond, we didn’t see her travel around the demon world (that also kinda applies to the manga, but they at least tried to show it there) and most importantly - she doesn’t know about the alternative option. Sure, we know about the entrance to the Human World, but they don’t seem to be that keen on reaching it. Seven Walls on the other hand... yep, they were working towards that goal and they knew that they could reach them. Here it’s just: “Norman, buddy, I don’t like it and I have no alternative”. That’s not a conflict, that’s a child whining. You are making Emma a whining child! In the manga it wasn’t that easy to side with just one character because of their views made sense. Here you have an asshole, crybaby and a helping NPC - good job, ClowerWorks. 

11. Well, at least Emma understand that here she has no alternative and Ray’s words of encouragement were actually really good. But that’s mostly due to a wonderful voice acting 

12. Boss Man Norman doesn’t work. There was no build up (from the beginning it’s just Norman, not mysterious Minerva 2.0), lambda crew didn’t react when he got slapped and he looks too young - I know that Demizu said that she made him look like that kinda by accident, but it really works. It shows how different he is from the boy we knew before. 

13. I’ve actually liked the Emma’s line about how she hopes that Lambda crew isn’t doing what it’s doing just to get a revenge. Pity that we only have a few good moments like that. 

To sum up, this episode could be good if not for the previous ones. But it would still require a lot of changes. For now I stick with my 5/10 rating for this season, buuuuut I think it might actually fall to 4/10 very soon :/ 

[stray-tori]

TPN S02E04 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

viewing + post-ep talk with my friends: Google Drive (sorry, youtube denied me again)

(i) Translations are in the English (USA) CC (including the english bits as well for those who struggle with the audio/language, etc.)

pls validate my efforts and watch it.

there’s some anime-only talk about the adaptation towards the end, I wasn’t trying to be arrogant, just mention it to my friends based on some things I’d heard and without spoiling them about what is different that I do know of specifically. But if you want to avoid that, feel free to!

I definitely said it a bit too in favor of the anime, and obviously my friends’ just got my simplified thoughts on it? Like when they said it makes sense for the anime to move on quicker, but that’s not really what’s different. 

So yeah, please forgive the dubious things in that segment, I really just didn’t think about my words a lot.

.

. Random thoughts

The fish bug scenes were delightful TvT Also the animation during them trying to grab them???

The OST during Isabella’s scenes???? take me

I think we also heard the OST sneak peak from a while ago during the cave confrontation with the army force human

Don is a useless nightwatch, goddamn it Don

Don is an epic chairman.

Loved the shot of Ray shooting at the big demon (why didn’t Emma get a cool shot? :THONK:), very dynamic, very epic.

Also them running together to push the man off the cliff was... something haha.

I’m losing my mind that we’re actually just ending on the way ep1 started. Same animation loops too, eh. to be expected, and obviously adjusted for different clothing and items but. still as someone who wants to praise for not re-using animation, rip.

EMMA HAVING SLEEPING CHILDREN AROUND HER AWWWW

Eyy Ray took a bath with the others too, yay

.

. The bunker

So, the twist was that there was really.... no twist at all. Minerva was a good guy, he tried his best, he got discovered and chased.

And yet, I don’t think the bunker was previously discovered by the farms, which would at least warrant a “scare” like that, effectively making it a trap. They may have been aware of a shelter’s existence, but I don’t think they’ve been there before.

You could probably assume that the Troup that attacked our characters may have also removed the previous escapees from the scene --- but if that was the case, why leave all of the letters and other things in place. Not getting there immediately is understandable, they seem to arrived by foot (what? do you plan to keep an eye on the children the whole like 5 day march back or however long it took?? dang). So that’s not it.

So: what caused the HELPs? the person writing in the book seems to have been abandoned or more likely, are the only survivor of their group (maybe the only person in the group at all). Now it’d be an option for them to have found this safe haven and decided to just spend their days there, slowly losing their minds and doing the things on the wall. But then the message in the book, on the other hand, seems traumatized and sad, but not as lost as the carvings on the wall.

So either, they calmed down after going crazy and then once they did, they decided to leave.

Or it’s from two different people (or multiple), the one after the “HELP” one probably leaving the uplifting message in the book nearby of the scribbles.

I’m not sure which I’d find more likely, but all in all, I’m not sure why they didn’t just have the demons already know of the place and just have the letter (they probably wouldn’t have searched everything in the place) not be as obviously placed and then boom, they could still have made all discoveries they needed and when they found the help wall, it would have been from children trapped in the room while the men searched the bunker, wanting help.

* Clearly that’s not what they were going for, since there’s also day-counting things, but even that you could have explained by saying, they missed a child and the other escapees convinced them that they died, somehow and so they were left behind, traumatized by their friends being taken back and giving up for a while. It still runs into the same “but how can it be the same person?” doubt that my friend brought up, but I think that it’d justify the shock value of the wall more. Still not really making the whole “HELP” thing add up though, since that just sounds like there’s an immediate threat, when there isn’t. The only other thing I can think of is that the entire wall wasn’t one instance, so the counting could be solitude, the HELPs acute danger and the names probably also solitude. The drawing on the right also makes me think it was probably a child as well, fairly young. Poor kid.

Unless there’s something more to it I feel like it makes a little more sense, but still not a lot (WHY’D YOU LEAVE YOUR SNACKS, BRO) but seeing as we’ve left, I don’t think we’ll get to know.

.

I’m assuming the way the farm knew now is either a) they were aware but didn’t see any reason to go there unless there were children there, b) they saw the coordinate carvings (thanks Ray) or c) the pursuers contacted the farms (which would make sense, and again, thanks Ray).

.

.. the farm has a military force???

I also find it kind of funny that the farms have a military force??? Because so far, we’ve never seen them use guns to do anything. Which makes me think they might not be farm-intern but from an outside force, maybe the humans who are more “on-level” with them?

Like, what do they do all day. They’re probably not part of the buff demon guards and.... idk man haha-

.

. Isabella

Ahh I was happy to see her! I was even happier to be like “hah, prison. Knew it.” and then later reacting to the offer, even though that wasn’t exactly what I called, but damn. the pride. my fucking expression too lol, i couldn’t hide it at all pff.

Her jump in motivation is a little weird, but I do see it as, someone who has basically accepted their fate, and when that gets challenged, the will to live takes over. 

I’m also not quite sure how she’s supposed to capture them if she can’t leave?

And then of course there’s whatever they promised her aside from “freedom” (which, if that just means being let outside, good luck ma’am there’s demons everywhere) - or is the transportation to the human world included? :D

Based on her clothing in the OP, I might have guessed it’d be “become a grandma” but that doesn’t really go well with the promise of freedom so.... I don’t know where that entire thing is going pff-

We don’t know a lot about what drives Isabella but one of the few things we do know is a) will to live and b) Leslie (????), hence the lullaby in “stressful” situations.

She already got the will to live with the baseline deal, so the only thing I can think of that would make her react more than freedom would be that Leslie’s alive and she can see him if she helps.

I’m not sure if she’s interested in anything else, like how the world works or what she can do for anyone, like.... hm. Of course it could totally be something that we just don’t know yet but yeah I guess that’s my guess.

They probably won’t give up Ray and seeing as she’s more concerned about his brain than anything, I don’t think even if they did allow her to take him with her, it probably wouldn’t mean a lot to her. Plus, why lose another high quality cattle.

I guess it could be, she did seem she wanted to be a proper mother figure, but idk something tells me it’s probably not something like that.

It would also be more “???” than “OHHH” of an reveal. Then again, Leslie is also an obvious choice so.

Maybe it’s something entirely new, we’ll see :D

.

. The possibily wrong date

So when Anna writes a journal thingy, we see this

And, well, their escape happened in January 2046, so... for that to be true, somewhere along the line, an entire year would have had to pass.

I’m assume this is a production error because

they didn’t get to harvest once

they wouldn’t wait a year to talk about the plan to go back

Ray wouldn’t need an ear patch for so long, he only has a cut

the montage only showed 22nd and 23rd, if an entire year had passed, we’d have been shown more varied dates, etc.

then it makes even less sense for why the army shows up one year later out of nowhere :D

...

Smh, CloverWorks, what can you even do right.

.

Yee, thanks for reading!

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 5 (thoughts + spoilers)

i feel like i’m on a high that i’ll never come down from :))) the itsay effect. this show is truly a cultural reset.

first up, i just want to say that i have never been more worried about a final ep before IN MY LIFE. for the past couple eps, i’ve tried to watch them live raw, but for this one, i was afraid of spoilers (and wanted to understand everything from the first watch), so i waited for the vimeo ep to drop and let me tell you...that was both the longest and shortest wait ever...the excitement and the dread i’ve been feeling this whole week has been unreal.

as usual, this is not an analysis. tbh there’s prob going to be even less analysing in this one bc most of the time i was either crying or yelling at my screen (and i feel like this ep in general didn’t have as many scenes to analyse?). but god, i’m SO GLAD that they gave us a happy ending bc it would have broken me into pieces if i had to rewatch and recap this knowing everything had fallen apart for them (ecstatic that wasn’t the case, and my feelings from last ep on how things might go in this one actually panned out!!). after what went down in ep 4, i always thought that that was going to be the peak of the climax/conflict, and that this one was going to be much more of a healing ep...the ep that would bring more closure to each of the characters and their relationships, as well as wrap things up as a final ep should.

so the way this ep starts is actually kind of anti-climactic. esp after the intense emotions of what happened at the end of ep 4. which is understandable? like they were being petty teenagers angry at one another, but now it’s a few days later, and all those heated emotions have tempered down. they’re in that awkward stage where neither of them even know how to start approaching one another after the loaded feelings of the last ep (basically this is what happened to them when they were children. no one reached out, and they both drifted apart...only now they’re aware of what might happen if no one reaches out and it’s a question of whether they let history repeat itself).

oh-aew using the cue cards that teh gave him and being worried ;;; doing that thing that teh told him about writing something over and over again when he can’t say it out loud...teh deleting his line chat history ;;; i was torn with this one bc on one hand noooooo, but on the other, it could be representing them starting anew again?? ALSO, they always know how to make the most of the ost in this show (i think it’s the can’t translate/lost in translation instrumental?). i was literally shaking the first time i watched this.

i was actually very worried about how his mum was going to treat him after last ep...i thought she would be angry/ignore him, and i was feeling so anxious about it...maybe bc i personally know what that’s like. that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you’re scared of how they’ll react to you after a fight. teh wanting to make his mum proud is hugely important to him, so when she handed him the plate, i actually let out a sigh of relief. i’m glad that his mum understood and backed him when he needed it most (she may not be fully all the way there yet, but feelings are raw and it takes time). and i already knew hoon would, so i wasn’t too worried on that front.

tarn is so good for teh, and i really see why they were drawn to each other. but i like how she’s prioritising what’s right for her, and also telling him like it is. they need to focus on their studies now and figure out the other stuff later.

teh loitering outside the tutoring classroom before entering sort of reminds me of ep 1 when teh and oh-aew met up for the first time after their first fight...just this time it’s less straight up antagonism between the two of them and more hurt feelings as they avoid each other instead. i also appreciate the gang during this. they’re so normal and encouraging about the whole situation. they know something went down between teh and oh-aew, but they don’t really press too much about it. just let teh know that they’re here if he needs someone to talk to.

the ep 5 trailer played us!!!!!!! i was WONDERING why oh-aew would suddenly say all that nice stuff about bas (not that bas doesn’t deserve the nice stuff, he’s an ANGEL) in front of class, but their teacher was the one that put them up to it. the horror i felt as i watched teh look straight at oh-aew but turn to bless phillip instead and then start on that whole spiel about how phillip “never sees the good intentions of friends as worthless. never says ‘no’ to what friends give you” and how he’ll never leave him because of that. ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF OH-AEW’S SALAD...STOP TEH. PLEASE. he’s digging himself into this hole himself with the passive aggressiveness again. THEN BAS COMING IN TO STEAL THIS WHOLE SCENE. i don’t think any of us were expecting him to be as forward as he was but omg. he laid it all out on the line in the way that teh couldn’t (at this point in time). i’m really, really glad that oh-aew got to hear what bas thought of him though, and that bas got to tell oh-aew all his feelings. nothing is misconstrued. he’s so brave and the utter respect i have for him increased by tenfold...what a fantastic character. just so sure and convinced in how he feels, and so uncaring of what anyone else thinks. it’s so damn refreshing. and for oh-aew to know that there’s nothing wrong with him at all. that he’s desirable and wanted and loved (it calls back to ep 4 when oh-aew’s sobbing and desperately asking teh “what did i do wrong??” again and again). it must have meant so much to him. the conflict i felt in my heart watching that and knowing that bas would be SUCH a good guy for oh-aew, but also knowing that sometimes that’s just not enough.

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TEH’S REACTION TO ALL THIS. he’s truly facing the consequences of his actions in this one. but just imagine being in this position, being too scared to own up to your own heart, and then watching this other boy do it like it’s the easiest thing in the world?? like it’s just another regular day?? like it’s nothing?? all to the boy that you’re in love with. to the boy that wanted this exact thing from you, but you couldn’t give. it’s like teh’s watching oh-aew slip through his very fingers, but knowing that it’s bc he never had oh-aew in the first place (and the reason for that is himself). i also really love how no one in class (including their teacher) makes a big deal out of this? they’re all just applauding bc it’s a sweet confession. it would be so jarring for teh to see this acceptance when the fear of society not accepting his feelings for oh-aew is one of the reasons he can’t accept them himself.

anyway, i had like one thought in this next scene and it was just DRINK THE COCONUT TEH. DRINK IT!!!!!!! so nice to see how his fam loves and believes in him.

teh watching on as bas and oh-aew take the first step with their left foot :(((

LOVE how they use the firecrackers going off to represent anytime there’s some sort of shift in teh and oh-aew’s relationship (when they first met, when they had their first fight, and now again when they talk for the first time after the fight and oh-aew tells him teh that he and bas are dating now). it’s such a great way to symbolise the spark and passion of their relationship. anyway, this meeting mostly consists of the both of them trying not to cry as they act civil with one another and skirt around what happened. teh asking about what the deal is with oh-aew and bas is like a parallel with what happened last ep when oh-aew asked about teh and tarn...only this time oh-aew and bas are actually dating...man, this is really not the kind of news you want to hear right when you’re about to sit one of your most important exams ever :/// teh holding himself together until the moment oh-aew leaves and then just having a fucking meltdown over the news :((( as always, it just hurts to see teh torture himself in this way. but esp when he’s supposed to be sitting his exam and he just can’t stop crying in the exam room (been in that position and have almost done the same thing before). when he hadn’t finished his exam and they were like “time’s up, pencils down” the sheer panic i felt at this...ugh. i hate it.

the elation on bas’ face when oh-aew asks him out for chinese new year. he’s the cutest. THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST. and then when he holds oh-aew’s hand????? the boldness of it. he. just. does. not. care. i wish i had that sort of confidence!! oh-aew’s shock at this too. his realisation that it’s okay. that this is okay. and then bas being all “why would i be?” after oh-aew asks if he’s embarrassed. bas is literally giving oh-aew everything that he wanted from teh and more (compare this to that scene in ep 3 where teh and oh-aew grazes hands but don’t hold each other’s hands). he’s proud to be with him and to show the world. and, you know what?? i would do anything in the world for bas to be happy.

AND HERE WE HAVE IT. MY LONG AWAITED HOON/TEH HEART TO HEART. i wanted teh to tell hoon soooooooo badly, so to hear the words come out of his mouth...that his brother was the first person he told. i felt so relieved bc i knew that hoon would support him no matter what. the struggle in teh’s face and words...he fought so long and hard against ever admitting these feelings to someone else out loud that it would have felt so incredibly terrifying, yet also like a weight being lifted off his chest, to finally get them out there. to have someone else know his secret. and to know that his brother loves him unconditionally regardless. “if you like him, you go after him” THE WAY I SOBBED DURING THIS. i really loved what hoon said to teh. he didn’t sugarcoat things and say that everything was going to be fine if teh liked boys too. not every single person you meet is going to be okay with who you are, that’s just a fact, but i loved that he emphasised to teh that HE was okay with it. it’s just what teh needed to hear. and that it might take their mum some time to accept it too, but all she truly wants is for teh to be happy. just the feeling of hearing his brother, someone that he very clearly looks up to and respects, tell him that he can like whoever he wants to like?? that it’s all up to him and he’ll still be there for him whoever he wants to be with?? teh sorely needed that and i’m glad he got it. hoon encouraging him to go fight for his love!!!!!!! i was cry laughing at how teh just starts bawling his eyes out at hoon telling him to go after oh-aew, but then teh telling him that it’s too late for him bc he likes someone else. like from hoon’s perspective, he’s prob just like ‘this is so needlessly dramatic’ and the sibling energy during that whole part is too real. i love them.

watching bas/oh-aew with the rest of the gang and their respective girlfriends really makes you realise how open and accepting they all are. like teh was terrified in the scene just before about how his friends might not accept him and oh-aew, but then you see them here with bas/oh-aew and no one even cares (which i expected bc they’ve been supportive since day one, but it’s just nice to see in practice too). oh-aew teasing them all ahhh. cute. phillip being the relatable only single guy there (me at every gathering i go to with my relatives omg).

THE PIANIST PLAYING SKYLINE. they really wanted us all to be SAD sad huh, and they succeeded. how it pans to oh-aew and this song is yet ANOTHER reminder of teh...you know he’s thinking about cape scene where they were singing and translating to one another. on the day they made their promise to each other :( and teh being there too??????? all alone with his bowl of oh-aew on the table. feeling the exact same heartbreak that oh-aew’s feeling too :( it’s the way that so much of their relationship is beyond words for me. but they’re also both hurting so much that i just want to push them together and make them talk so they can clear everything up.

hoon talking in cute japanese to nozomi on the phone while teh goes through oh-aew’s old worksheets and cries I HATE IT HERE. i love the different ways in which teh has smelt oh-aew’s coconut scent since ep 2. how it evolves from curiosity to desire to him heartbrokenly reminiscing, every feeling changing with the shifts in their relationship.

can i just say that oh-aew’s parents are ADORABLE. but also, finding out exam results is the worst kind of anxiety. was so happy that oh-aew got in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he worked his ass off for this :’))) teh not getting his first pick wasn’t altogether surprising bc it did feel like they were leading up to this. but when he apologised to his mum about it ;;; noooo, she’s so proud of you. as someone who’s been through this process before (and didn’t get my first pick either), it always feels like it’s end of the world when you don’t get the uni pick that you want, but it really isn’t. still, it sucks when you’re in the moment there’s no denying that. but i get that it’s also particularly sad for teh since he’d already basically gotten his first pick before he gave it up for oh-aew. but again, it’s all part of the learning process, and the consequences for his actions. 

BAS BEING BEST BOY EVER YET AGAIN. how he knows exactly how oh-aew feels bc he feels it too, but he never imposes those feelings on oh-aew. he knows that oh-aew’s heart isn’t with him, can’t be when it’s with someone else, and bc he cares that much about oh-aew, he guides him in teh’s direction. it’s never a good idea to date someone who’s hung up on someone else, but i’m glad that they tried at the very least. the both of them did what they could, and oh-aew needed to experience it to know. i’m really glad that bas was there to make oh-aew realise how worth it he is too...and bas deserves someone that loves him back just as much as he loves them. seeing bas cry is the worst experience ever. 0/5. never want this ever again thank u. their hug scene was just devastating, and worse still bc it’s not anyone’s fault...you just can’t help how you feel, and that’s just the way it is sometimes.

idk why but for me, the scene with tarn was possibly the hardest scene for me to watch in this ep. it’s interesting how he’s wearing the shirt that oh-aew was wearing in ep 3 in this scene (with the bold ‘sunset’ lettering). i guess it symbolises him being ready to open up about his feelings on where their relationship is heading? either way, she’s a great friend. she’s so encouraging, and understands him and his ambitions to a tee. the both of them are always filled with such fierce determination. they just know what they want and go for it. but that’s also why these past couple eps have been all the more confusing for teh since he’s always been so sure of himself before. how she tells him that no one can take away his identity and that no one can take his dream away from him?? all these characters just knowing exactly what teh needs at the right time. she’s so incredible. no wonder teh is so scared of losing her as a friend. it’s great that he apologised for how he treated her last ep bc it’s def the least that she deserves. that being said, watching her heart get broken as teh tells her that his feelings for her have changed and asking if they can still be friends...like damn, that fucking hurts. there’s something in tarn’s face in this scene that stays with me every time i watch it, and it’s that heavy feeling of knowing that the opportunity is missed. they had the potential to have been something, but it’s slipped by now, and now they can’t go back to those initial feelings anymore. too much has changed. but it’s also that she, like bas, values teh’s happiness too much. values their friendship so much that even if she’s heartbroken, she can still overcome those feelings of heartbreak bc she cares for teh so deeply and wants to see him happy. despite the pain she’s feeling, she still encourages him to make the first move and talk with oh-aew bc she knows that oh-aew is who makes him happy. anyway, we already established this in my last rant text post for ep 4, but i love tarn with my whole heart and only ever want her happiness too. the purple hibiscus in her drawing for teh was like a final stab to the heart :(((

what i love about bas and tarn is that neither of them are the bad guys in this situation. this drama has no outright antagonist, and a lot of the time in BLs (even in standard dramas in general) that’s what the secondary love interests are used as...a hindrance for the main couple to get over. but the both of them are written (and acted) with such respect and care. it’s really hard not to fall in love with them too. the real conflict and antagonism mostly comes from within teh himself, so this series is his own journey to overcome that. a true coming of age story.

oh-aew in his uni uniform!!!!!!!!!!! cue me constantly chanting “come through, teh” over and over as oh-aew passed the restaurant hoping to see him. and I KNEW HE WOULD. not me bursting into tears as soon as they show him following oh-aew on the motorbike ;;;;;;; he loves oh-aew too much, and this was too important, he was never going to back out on this promise. i mean, he gave up his uni spot for oh-aew so he could keep this promise. technically, if you think about it, it worked in a roundabout way bc teh giving up his place was what made oh-aew decide to do the admission exam again...and better still bc he got into his first place uni all on his own accord. he proved to teh that he could do it like he always wanted to.

love that teh pushes the good luck coconuts onto oh-aew too, like his mum and brother always do for him. it’s cute. when they go to the temple again, and the significance of it being open this time so they don’t have to sneak in anymore????? my heart is FULL. another thing i love is how teh’s kind of behaving like how oh-aew did in ep 3?? being flirty?? almost toying with him?? like that part when they’re drinking the coconuts together, and he sort of slides backwards drinking the coconut, eyes not leaving oh-aew before bouncing away. that’s an oh-aew move okay. and, as always, teh encouraging oh-aew when he’s down bc the sun isn’t out. rival and inspiration. i love them more than words could ever describe.

skyline instrumental is legit the perfect song bc sometimes when you listen to it, it can make you feel like you’ll never be happy again, but then other times (like when they’re walking to the tip of the cape), it’s like a shot of pure hope to your chest. that shot of them going through the trees and right into the open space of the tip of the cape with the sun shining all around them was BEAUTIFUL. the freedom of it all, of no longer being constrained. seriously, these shots of the two of them standing in front of the golden glow of the sun are just *chef’s kiss* so stunning. cinematography on point (but when did this show ever fail me on that front).

“when i gave it, i really gave it to you” I’M NEVER GONNA STOP CRYING. i literally cannot watch this part without getting choked up and/or screaming. they’ve missed each other so much, and it’s piecing the broken bits of my heart after the last 4 eps back together again. THEY’RE FINALLY TALKING.

okay i really have to talk about this scene when oh-aew asks teh “how about you and i?” bc of the war flashbacks i’m having back to the last time this question was asked and how disastrous that turned out. it’s in how oh-aew asks it and reads teh’s hesitancy as teh thinking the same as he did last time...oh-aew’s fake smile (the same smile he put on when he asked teh how things were between him and tarn and teh told him they were pretty much the same) when he thinks that teh still isn’t willing to acknowledge he likes him back. it’s how oh-aew is willing to accept ANYTHING from teh...whether he wants to be friend or a rival...whether teh likes or hates him...as long as teh stays in his life. he’s willing to accept whatever teh wants to define them as bc he’s just missed teh so much and can’t stand to be away from him. and it’s like this is what finally clicks in for teh. that restricting himself this way is only ever going to constantly hurt the both of them. teh finally saw past himself, and realised what this meant to oh-aew. it’s like he’s finally looking at oh-aew and seeing what oh-aew needs most (has always needed most), and that in turn helps him gain the courage to say it out loud bc the love he feels for oh-aew (and for himself) is ultimately stronger than any fear he has about society not accepting them. it’s such a beautiful scene. after pushing back at himself and his feelings time and time again, he can’t deny himself anymore. his character arc has come full circle ;;; everything teh’s done in previous eps for oh-aew has shown how much he really loves and cares for him, so it just makes me happy that he released his breath and let himself be happy. it’s all i ever wanted for him.

the amount of tears i shed at teh asking oh-aew to be his boyfriend...i knew teh was very likely going to give in to his feelings for oh-aew at this point, but this was even more than i expected. that was so SMOOTH. oh-aew bursting into tears after that...SAME. then the hug in the sunset WITH the new ost song. and that last shot of teh’s handwritten full pages of ‘love’...they did the MOST with this and i’ll never ever ever be over it.

then the part 2 announcement!!!!!!!!!!!!! after so much angst, i can barely believe we’ve been given so much in such a short space of time omg. i love how teh’s tie is red and oh-aew’s tie is blue for their respective uni uniforms. ADORABLE

i know everyone was afraid (myself included) that this was going to end sad from the get go. from the trailer to the ost, we were all TERRIFIED bc realistic shows like this often end in heartbreak. we’re so used to it. but i saw someone describe itsay as a love letter to the lgbtq+ community, and i totally agree. it could very well have ended tragic/sad, but instead they subverted our expectations of the traditional ‘bury your gays’/sad gay ending we’re so used to and gave us a story that showed us that there’s realism in happiness too. there are so many struggles and hardships that lgbtq+ people have to go through bc of the world that we live in, but they CAN be happy too. this post that nadao tweeted of teh crossing out the lyrics of skyline and writing “let me set my own destiny“ instead is SO powerful, and shows the immense character growth he’s gone through over the course of the series. it made every single tear that i have shed for this show completely and utterly worth it.

i’ve mentioned this multiple times before, but i’m so grateful to nadao for giving us this drama. literally one of the best dramas that i have ever watched in my entire life. i’ve never felt so passionately about a show before, or been so attached to the characters and their relationships. everything about it...the directing, the writing, the cinematography, the acting, the soundtrack, EVERYTHING has been set to such an impeccable standard i really don’t know how, or if, i’ll ever get over it (prob not). i know i’m not the only one that thinks so, but it’s truly a masterpiece. i hope it sweeps all the awards bc it’s the least that it deserves. moreover, i’m so happy that their story isn’t over bc this cast of characters are some of my fave characters ever and i genuinely cannot wait to see more of them in march next year :’)