#on top of that im so fkn stressed bc when smth like this happens i go completely non functional
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#ngl i am feeling veeeeery depressed rn#idk what to do.. i dont get *any* help at all w my mental health nd it just keeps getting worse#rn i feel like there is absolutely no hope at all. no hope for a better life. no hope for me to ever get better#no hope that i'll be ok. that the surgery will go ok. no hope that i'll ever get to move away from here#i feel so fkn stuck and i just dont have any energy or motivation to do anything at all#im so fkn anxious abt my health issue nd the surgery nd recovery#on top of that im so fkn stressed bc when smth like this happens i go completely non functional#so i dont know how to do my schoolwork now. i cant go to class bc i cant focus bc of the pain nd stuff#but if i dont do school what will happen w my wellfare??#idk idk idk what to do there are just too many things#and there is absolutely NO FKN HELP AT ALL in this wretched society#no help. my mom does as much as she can but she's also sick nd deals w years long burnout#im at a point where i dont feel like i know how to keep going. i just wanna lie down nd give up#but then i might become homeless nd that'll be so fkn much worse so i have to do smth#i need to try to talk to school nd my wellfare worker but i dont expect help#they'll just tell me to suck up the pain nd do everything anyway so idk i dont even feel like trying#im feeling more depressed than ever and it doesnt matter if i ask for help bc there is none for me#i want to get out of this nd make a life for myself but idk how#and i see NO light at the end of the tunnel at all. no light whatsoever. everything feels fkn pitch black#everythings just bad nd it is contaminating my mind completely nd idk how to stop it#i cant even cry i just feel so empty yet overwhelmed i want it all to just stop i cant keep up cant do it anymore idk how#but ending it all takes too much effort. there rlly should be just a pill u get prescribed. it is inhumane to force ppl to go thru more suff#also i wont do that to my mom so like im stuck here either way. i dont want to feel like this i want to feel ok i want to feel hopeful#and bright nd like maybe there is a chance nd way for me i dont wanna feel.. utter despair
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